Character Development

Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Topics: Akhlaq

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Mufti Menk
Jumu’ah Talk from Pinelands Masjid CapeTown
Topic: Character Development

Episode Transcript

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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smilla rahmanir rahim In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala Most Gracious, Most Merciful Alhamdulillah we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we thank him upon all conditions we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his household his companions May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless them all. And may Allah subhanahu wa Jalla bless every single one of us and grant us goodness and ease. I mean,

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my brothers and sisters in Islam,

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I'd like to share with you a beautiful narration of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam today. And I'd like to

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bear in mind that we don't have much time.

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Many times, people look at each other and say that man is a good Muslim. That one's not a good Muslim. This lady is a brilliant Muslim and that one's not what do they look at? They look at your outward appearance, am I right? They sometimes look at how charitable you are. They sometimes look at a few other qualities you may have, but generally, they tend to look at your outward appearance. Now, if we want to know who is closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala we will never be able to know the closeness to Allah subhanho wa Taala unless we knew what lies in the hearts of the people and this is something very interesting and very important. Never judge a book by its cover. We've heard that

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a million times but unfortunately when it comes to putting into practice, you find that it's very difficult. We still tend to judge people. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us. Now, we go back to the Sunnah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam, we will find something interesting he tells us who the best from amongst us are, he always says the best from among you are these the best from among you are those so who are those? Who are those SubhanAllah.

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Firstly, you will take a look at character and conduct. The one who has the best character the best conduct is known as the best from among you. This is over and above believing in Allah and fulfilling your primary duties because when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says how you come, he means the best from among you.

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The best from among you, who are you? You are already those who believe you are already those who pray, you are already those who try your best to fulfill your obligations unto Allah. So the best from among you are the following. And then he mentioned a few things of different occasions, different things. And some people think that perhaps there is a contradiction. No, there is not. For example, the most powerful of those narrations bearing in mind that inshallah there will be an association of any car after the Salah, and all the brothers and sisters are invited to participate in Sharla. But bearing that in mind, the most powerful narration is Cairo, Cairo, commonly ie the

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best from among you are those who are best to their wives done full stop, the Hadith is ended gone. The best from among you are those who are best to your wives. Wow. Imagine

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pause for a moment and think do I fit into that category? In a lot of cases? The answer would be, I can do better.

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Imagine someone had to get up a prophet of Allah. And he did. And he says the best from among you, those who are best to your wives. Why? Now the term also includes your family members. And in the case of a woman, it's your husband obviously, right? Mashallah. See the men start smiling again. So my beloved brothers and sisters, what we need to know is

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the people who live with you are the only ones who actually see you early morning, when you've just gotten out of bed. They see when you upset how you react, they see you when you're under pressure, they see you when you late, they see you in all conditions. If you can strengthen yourself to the degree that they can bear witness, this man is the best than you are indeed the best because they know you better than anybody else. Now, do you see how that fits in? So if your wife can get up and say this is a very good man, you don't need to hear anybody else's witness. Obviously, unless you're putting a gun to her head, may Allah make it easy for all of us. So

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if you were to interact with someone for an hour or two hours, it's easy for them to just see the signs that you're showing to them. And to say, Wow, lovely guy. How long did you meet him for and we had a 30 minute meeting with him. He was showing you one side of him. He could have been bipolar or anything else may Allah grant cure to those who are seeking deal.

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But the problem with us is we judge people based on their external looks, and that is not it. It's based on your character after your belief in Allah and the Last Day. Then there is another narrator

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When the Prophet salallahu Salam says something similar on similar lines, he says, he has you know, Kamala Khan, the best form amongst you are those who have the best character and conduct. Now one might say there's a contradiction between the two there isn't. Because if you have best character and conduct, you're going to be the best to your wife, you're going to be the best at home, your children, how many of us spend time at home with our own children? How many? Let's be honest. As we get to work, and we become older and we have kids, we don't even spend time in the early stages and ages of those children trying to keep them quiet. No, I'm supposed to be sleeping, you take care of

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the kids. That's not how it should be so panela you're supposed to be helping, assisting even if it means with a good word, Mashallah, I appreciate what you're doing. May Allah give you Jenna, my beloved wife

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Subhana, Allah, May Allah give you agenda we make do as for them, we ask Allah to bless them, it shows the goodness in your heart, wherever you can extinguish the anger that's about to erupt. That's what makes you the best of people. If you extinguish the anger, Allah gives you good news of Paradise in the Koran, one of the qualities of those who will be entering Jannah. This is one car we mean.

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Those who extinguish their anger, and those who forgive people,

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the difficulty with us, the people who are the most deserving of our forgiveness and have not forgiven, you notice that you live with your husband, I'm giving you a typical example. That is a reality on the ground. You live with your husband for 35 years, one day, he did something wrong. That's it, it's over, I'm out and I'm gone. I'm at home, why I made the mistake. 35 years I recall back at home where I come from, there was a gentleman who had a helping hand, who worked for him Helping Hand meaning some a domestic helper, who worked for him for 14 years thereafter, one day, he stole something. And after that the men forgave him and kept him still and people said, but you're

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foolish. He said, Hey, listen, 14 years made one mistake. And he's acknowledged it and he's asked for forgiveness. I will keep it because you will not get someone as honest as that, you know, the situation changed. The country changed, the difficulties came in, the men needed some food items, and this is what he did. I'm not justifying stealing, but I'm just telling you, sometimes you need to think those who are deserving of your forgiveness. Why don't we forgive them. It's part of the goodness of your character to forgive people, especially your family members, your children, your son did something wrong. No matter what it is, I'm sure you will find it in your heart to say

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nevermind, that's my son, I forgive him. Well, the same applies to your spouse, that's the mother or the father of your son SubhanAllah. You see where I'm heading, because we are finding more and more people because we've become so accessible. And because of the Internet, and because of communications, we've become so accessible, and others have become accessible to us. Before you saw someone of the opposite sex. For example, it would take you a long time before you even found out what their name was panela. And even if you did, you'd probably just have it at the back of your mind. But today, no, you want to communicate to them in three minutes. Hi, you look lovely. And you

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know what the difficulties are long time ago, they would say Shut up, get out now they say Mashallah. JazakAllah Thank you so much. I'm flattered. Allah, look at how the world has changed. where Allah subhanho wa Taala. Bless us. And then those messages are seen by your spouse. And that's it. It's the AMA.

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Yes, what has happened, you're brought to judgment, and the judgment is issued, and I'm out of here and gone. Hang on, you made a mistake. Learn to acknowledge your errors. My brothers and sisters. I'm talking about this because in marriage, we all make mistakes. Yes, I do agree. Some may cross a certain threshold. And it might become semi unforgivable, if I can word it that way. Yes, we do know that. But the vast amount of mistakes that people make you acknowledge and you seek forgiveness and you make amends. never listen to the advice of those who tell you break that home. No, that is not the first step. And that is not the correct advice. Unless there is abuse there is bashing because

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wife bashing is not permissible. And more than that, we need to talk about husband bashing that is on the rise today. Unbelievable. I saw a guy with a blue eye. I told him what happened. He says,

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too embarrassed to even admit

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Subhana Allah May Allah forgive us. Later on, it became clear. He was bashed up by whom? by his wife.

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So it's becoming a trend but at the same time, remember, never raise your hand never. No matter what may Allah subhanahu wa

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Allah grant has a deep understanding.

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If a person is being oppressed, I agree. There are steps to be taken beyond which you may want to seek separation and divorce. But

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my brothers and sisters little mistakes that we make we all do we all do.

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We need to acknowledge that we are on Earth as human beings, we are not perfect. You want to live with someone you will have to the best today I think 80% compatibility the other 20 you're not going to get it. You're not unless you're an angel Subhana Allah. And even if you call each other Angel Angel, they'll come a day when you realize that's just a word. So panela of endearment. May Allah make us angelic I mean,

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so my brothers and sisters, look at the prophets of Allah son, speaking of the best of us, and I want you to leave today, asking yourself, how good am I? And what is the test? For My goodness. Now, can I tell you what's the test? Every one of us sitting here wants to know, how good am I right? There's a litmus test. You see, sometimes you put in that litmus paper and you find out exactly what it is. So what is the test? There is one thing you've got to ask yourself and we're learning you will know exactly who you are, in terms of your character. Okay, here goes. And don't forget this, and spread it, repeat it and keep on asking yourself, okay, so I want to know my character. And I

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want to know, if I fall in the category of being a person who's the best of character, I need to look at, the more the person who might need the least according to me on Earth, the person whom the world looks at, as totally insignificant. The person whom the world may not even look at the person who perhaps is the lowest in the ranking of those who work for me, perhaps the person who is the least paid the person who is the lowest in material income, what is my treatment to that person determines exactly who I am? topic closed.

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Did you hear that? When you walk into the airport, there's a little guy who calls you Welcome to my office. Have you heard that?

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The restrooms, okay, as you enter, there's a young man day sometimes, you know, slightly elderly, and he tells you Welcome to my office. And you know, he you walk in you perhaps relieve yourself, you come out? Did you greet him? Did you acknowledge him? Did you make him feel important? Do you know the job he's doing? Very few people would? Do you know, had he had a little bit more? He wouldn't be there? Do you know that? Have you acknowledged him? Well, it says the world about who you are. So I've given you an example. Someone cleaning the street, a guy who is for example, a warden, directing traffic, what's your treatment to that person, that's who you are. And there is no

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way that the response can be wrong. Every one of us has a certain sense of pride. Let that not get to you remember prior to types in Islam, when we say I'm proud to be Muslim, it actually means I'm happy to be Muslim. I'm happy to be a Muslim that is a declared Muslim. I'm okay. And I'm very happy to show that I'm a Muslim. That's what we say that we mean when we say I'm a proud Muslim, I'm proud to be Muslim. We don't mean the arrogance. We don't mean the haughtiness. We don't mean the belittlement of others, because in that case, we are we are the losers. So we will never develop the haughtiness we will never develop the arrogance. How do you treat the children of others? How do you

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treat people who may not have much relevance in your life? A person whom you have no proper big business dealings with? Do you greet them? Do you acknowledge them or the minimum is do you stay away from harming them?

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A person who begs yesterday I was reading Surah Taha, and every time I read the surah, I tell myself, this is one of the most powerful sutras in the Quran, as simple as it is. Do you know what it says in Surah Taha, it speaks about the goodness that Allah has bestowed us with that we tend to forget and Allah subhanho wa Taala says, alchemia GDK ottima.

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address to Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, did we not find you an orphan, meaning were you not an orphan, and we gave you refuge or we looked after you, we took care of you? What do I learn from that verse? I learn

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to look back into my own life when I was a kid, and perhaps we couldn't afford shoes, perhaps we couldn't afford things. And where are we today? We are sitting in a far greater higher position than our parents were yet we are still not grateful. That's what Allah is drawing your attention to say, Hey, you know where you were a few years back. Where are you today? Who gave that to you? And why are you still ungrateful? Why is the ingratitude you're still not fulfilling your Salah.

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You couldn't even care to dress appropriately but we gave you everything look at you so Hannah law, that's the lesson drone, although the verse is much higher than that. And then Allah says, while agenda campo

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bajada we found you among those are in the midst of those who were astray but you we guided you so para la This was Mohammed salatu salam the most rightly guided ever to exist Subhana Allah, but the lesson for us is religiously where were we? This beautiful machine of pinelands Where was it? 50 years ago? Was it here? When it is now here? What are you doing about it? You live around the corner but you don't even come? It's the house of Allah it shows your link with a lot can be better. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us improve?

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It's something amazing. So take a look at it. Where were you in the past? I'm not going to do I'm not showing you the path Allah gave you so much. Anyway, after mentioning a few verses, Allah says For millennia tema Fela de bajo

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de la Vela. Going back to the question I said was the litmus test Allah says, As for the orphan child, when someone is an orphan, as for the orphan child, don't speak to them harshly, don't be hard on them. speak calmly, make them feel comfortable, feel wanted, address them with respect Subhana Allah After all, the best of creation, Allah chose that he would be born an orphan. It shows that Allah is closer to those perhaps orphan.

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Subhana Allah. Amazing. So when you see someone weak, when you see someone who seemingly is weak, treat them with respect that that will make you

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Subhana Allah and the Last part of it Allah says,

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Do not rebuke the beggar. Do not rebuke the one asking you see people ask you you don't want to give, don't give. But do it respectfully, respectfully. You don't have to lower your Windows Start swearing, shouting, screaming, accusing, and then walk off know,

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if you would like to give with respect, you don't throw money or goodness at anyone, you don't throw an apple or a banana or food at people you give it to them. When you give it to them. It should be with respect you acknowledge had it not been for this person? Where would I have been giving my charities zaca as far as why Allah says, Well, we've kept people poor so that you the rich can give them. That's why they are there as a test for you.

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So this is character development. This is what Allah has taught us character development, my brothers and sisters, I hope and pray that we can all develop our character. I really would like us all to go home today and work on it. And I really want us to keep asking our question to ourselves again, to say how do I treat the weakest or whom the world considers the lowest? I don't want to say the lowest because in the eyes of Allah, that's not low. The world considers someone low, but they're not low in the eyes of Allah. How do we treat those people? Do we treat them with respect? Do we give them acknowledgement? Do we smile at them? Subhana Allah, and guess what? charity begins

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at home. That is so true. So true, it is Islamic. If we were to say that, you start at home, your children are waiting for you. They're waiting for a smile, they're waiting for an I love you, my child, I adore you. I will help you through your problem, your issue, they are waiting for you. Allah bless you with children for a reason. And my beloved children, your parents are waiting for you. They are waiting for you to acknowledge yesterday, one of my own children told me you know what?

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My grandfather, meaning My father told me this and told me that and I said listen to everything and Don't utter one word. Why? That's your grandfather, the end of the day. They've told you something, it's okay. They might have told you in a way that belongs to the 60s or 70s. But it's where they were born in the 30s and 40s. You don't blame them. But you can't expect them to say whatever suits your ear. Some people are that way they want to see perfection for you. So they keep on telling you. So my dear children with your parents, learn to respect them. Learn to be kind to them. And at the same token, my beloved parents, make it easy for your children to be good to you and to respect you

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live your life in such a way that you earn that respect from your own children. May Allah make it easy for us all. And I end with a word of encouragement for those who are married. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help you to fulfill each other's rights. Marriage is not easy. It is very tough. Your life changes completely. You have to sacrifice you have to dedicate you have to put your phone aside. You have to put your phone aside. Now it's no longer

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WhatsApp is WhatsApp.

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WhatsApp is on the phone. It's an application WhatsApp is communication. You talk with each other speak, put your phone away, put it aside one line, you will build that relationship. He will build it. So it's a huge sacrifice those who are not married May Allah bless you with spouses who will be the coolness of your eyes. Those who have children in Allah make those children the coolness of your eyes, those who don't have children, may Allah bless you with offspring, my brothers and sisters it's been an absolute pleasure to be here today. I've spoken for exactly 20 minutes 33 seconds and inshallah I'll close it the Apollo cola for sallallahu wasallam