Is your Family Crumbling?

Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:03

Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

00:00:04--> 00:00:10

Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah he was early he was happy here Jemaine

00:00:11--> 00:00:34

my brothers and sisters, Allah Almighty created us to a family. Always it happens. You have a mother, Teresa Alayhis Salam had a mother, Adam Alayhis Salam was created by Allah Hawa. Alayhi Salatu was Salam was created without a mother, through a miracle of Allah subhanho wa Taala via Adam Alayhis Salam?

00:00:36--> 00:01:20

Why did Allah choose to create us within a family unit. And if you look carefully, it's not only a family unit, it's many families put together. And then it is a community and perhaps a town or a city. Why? If Allah wanted, he could have made us all separately, we could have grown like plants, if Allah wanted, it could have been. But because part of your test is to fulfill the rights of those who are related to you, starting with your parents. That is why Allah wants to give you that opportunity to fulfill the test. And to get full marks, if not good marks.

00:01:21--> 00:02:11

May Allah Almighty grant us a deep understanding. And for this reason, Allah has given so much of importance to parents. And at the same time, he has given so much of importance to relatives, while Deedle Korova have come who well miskeen our boon as we will give the rights and the dues, to your relatives and then to the poor and the needy Subhan Allah, Allah starts off with relatives, if you are a wealthy person, and you want to give charity Charity begins at home. What that means is, look in your relatives in your families, if they are poor people amongst them, that's where you start Subhanallah you cannot be a wealthy person taking care of the whole world. But your brothers and

00:02:11--> 00:02:51

sisters of the same mother and father or your relatives of the same family are struggling and suffering and you're sitting there helping the rest of the world. What did you understand? We're not saying that it's not important to help the rest of the world especially when there is a greater need. Say for example, two people are struggling. One is your family but they're not struggling so bad. The other one is distant but they are dying. In that case you start with the distant one common logic. But you must remember when the two are similar, you need to begin with the ones who are closer to you. It's your duty. Allah Almighty made it your responsibility

00:02:52--> 00:03:41

while loving I also in own Amma Amar Allah who will be a useful Allah praises those who keep the ties with those whom they've been instructed to maintain ties with who are they, your family, your broader family. Now, Allah mentions this many times in the Quran. Do you know why? For the same reason that he mentioned Salah so many times and Zakah so many times, it's not easy to get up and fulfill Fudger is not a joke, to do five Salah a day is not a joke. It's a tough job. It's very difficult. You might be working, traveling, doing whatever else you are busy something to be able to stop everything and say Allah Akbar. Very few can do that. Recently, we watched some people during a

00:03:41--> 00:04:25

cricket match. The fellow realized Subhanallah I owe it to Allah on the pitch he decided, yes, my salah. It's not easy to do that. It requires a solid heart. It needs someone who's dedicated so Allah repeats this so many times in the Quran, fulfill your Salah, establish your Salah, then he says give us a Ka y the more you get in life, the nature of man is the stingy or he becomes the poor people are quick to give. Trust me, the wealthy ones they find it hard to give unless you believe in Allah. When your heart is attached to materialism, your belief in Allah becomes weak. That's a fact. When your heart is attached to money, you cannot be attached to Allah, the two don't go together.

00:04:27--> 00:04:59

So if you find someone who's got a lot of wealth and they give a lot, that person is close to Allah, because Allah says, when we give you something, use the gift we gave you to get closer to Allah, some people we gave them knowledge, use that knowledge to get closer to Allah to get Jana, you have knowledge in a field even if it is some form of education. You are a school teacher, you are someone who can teach others you're a lecturer. If Allah gave you something, give it to others. That's how you will get your agenda Subhanallah and the same applies if you have something like wealth

00:05:00--> 00:05:10

Some, if you have some expertise in some field, teach it to someone else. Subhanallah that's how you'll get your agenda. Allah wants the world to progress not to go back because of your selfishness.

00:05:12--> 00:05:55

I mentioned many times that sometimes, you know, it's unfortunate to say this, but people today feels so offended. If someone were to ask them for their recipe, Oh, I like this food. Can you give me the recipe? They say? No, I won't. I mean, I hope that's not the case amongst us. But it is the case amongst many you can't even handle it. So your recipe will die with your death. Subhan Allah. Allah says, if you continue to do a little bit of perhaps people will give you to her for free. Love Akbar. May Allah grant us goodness and ease. But the point I'm raising is the issue of family and community. It has been stressed so much by Islam, your paradise is closely connected to how you

00:05:55--> 00:06:06

treat your family members, especially those who don't get along with you. Wow. Wow. Why? Because when the more difficult it is, the greater

00:06:08--> 00:06:50

the possibility of you entering Jana with ease is the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salam. When he recited verses of maintaining family ties, maintaining community ties, maintaining this maintaining that, do you know what they asked him, they said, Oh messenger SallAllahu sallam. Well, when they do something, I do something they do good. I do good. So isn't that good enough? He says no. Leisen vasiliou Bill McAfee enamelware silan Ledi man either coutry arahi mo salah, a person who's maintaining proper family ties is not the one who has a tit for tat relationship, you do good I do good. He did me this I did him that it is the one whom when the ties are broken, on one end, he goes

00:06:50--> 00:07:10

out to mend them, he spends some time and he makes an effort to try and solve the matter. Make an effort, then if there is no response from the other side, you fulfilled your duty. Once in a while you can keep on trying but at least you tried. The Quran doesn't say and the sooner does not say your problems will be resolved. But you have to try.

00:07:11--> 00:07:34

It's not easy to live within a big broader family. But you need to have a big heart. You need to learn to forgive you need to learn to forego you need to learn to do your best. Yes, where there is oppression, you will need to stand up for the one who is right. There's no doubt. It does not mean that no we are going to stand up for the one who's wrong simply because he's more powerful, not at all.

00:07:36--> 00:07:48

And that's why when the Prophet SAW Salem was explaining the struggle and the jihad he said, You know what is the best jihad to speak the truth in front of authority that is very oppressive.

00:07:50--> 00:08:29

Kalama to hackin in the super ninja, you have someone in authority someone powerful in whatever on whatever level it may be, but they are higher than you and you're able to in a beautiful manner explain to them in a beautiful manner that you know what this is the truth. With due respect. You are wrong Subhanallah this is something that we lack. Now moving beyond family my brothers and sisters, Islam has given so much of importance to community. Why in today's world everyone wants to live a singular life let me go and live somewhere where no one will interfere with me. I'm not going to have to mix and interact no one's going to know my whereabouts so what I do what I don't but

00:08:29--> 00:08:45

Islam says you want Jana mix with people interact Subhanallah whether you like it or not. The hadith says a better person is the one who interacts with people and based patients upon the harm that may come as a result of that interaction. That's what the Hadith says.

00:08:46--> 00:09:24

But obviously if it is gone beyond the point where they are driving you and your children away from the deen of Allah then you can shift away then you can so for everything there is a limit, but we haven't got to those limits in many cases and we just walking away. Why is community so important? Have you thought about the reason why the Prophet sallallaahu Salam says Salah to Jama RTF volume in Salah till Thursday be separate in why Shereena da Raja to read Salah with Jama is 27 times better than to read it alone. Why? Why there has to be some reason because you will gather in the masjid you will come together Why did Allah ordained this Juma as being compulsory for Juma Jama amines

00:09:24--> 00:09:48

together isn't it Jama means a group Juma is connected to that we are gathering together on this day Friday mashallah, why Allah wants you to meet each other, to talk to each other, to greet each other to know each other to stand up for each other to help each other to support each other. That's how you will get Jana make it meaningful to live in society and I tell you how that will happen. When you make it meaningful for someone to come to the masjid.

00:09:49--> 00:09:58

When people come to the masjid greet them, smile at them, talk to them, make them feel appreciated, make them feel welcome, Allah He the community will prosper

00:10:00--> 00:10:22

Today unfortunately we're involved in gossip, slander, we make someone feel this way that way we have robbed and stolen and being corrupt to the degree that we cannot come to the masjid because we fear what this one and that one might say to us. And sometimes people pass very cutting remarks and chase people out. Let's resolve matters my brothers, my sisters come what may?

00:10:23--> 00:10:52

May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us goodness and like I say, sometimes we will try and we will continue to try. If there is no response from the other end you have fulfilled your duty Unto Allah this can happen. It can happen within family within society, but that does not drop. It does not drop the status and the value of community family society in Islam. Why John? Come show low

00:10:53--> 00:11:43

in Anita fall in a coma Kumi de la he at Cancun, Allah says we created you in different nations, different tribes, etc. In order that you recognize each other you may be different to recognize each other, the most honored in the eyes of Allah is the One who is most conscious of Allah subhanho wa taala. So when Allah created us, yes, we will be different, there will be differences. We have a community, a society, let's learn to help one another. Today we are going through struggles. Don't make it worse for someone either help or leave them how they are, but don't make it worse. If you are the source of the sadness or grief of someone else, you need to change that. You need to be the

00:11:43--> 00:12:25

source of some form of happiness, a smile when they see you. They are so reassured. That's my brother, that's my sister. They're not going to harm me. That's the whole essence of Assalamu alaikum Islam is based on a Salam aleikum. You see someone one of the quickest signs is a Salaam Alaikum Subhanallah you smile and you say what aleikum wa salam, my brother, my sister. What does it mean? It means I guarantee you I won't harm you. That's what it means. I guarantee you I won't harm you. That's the meaning of a Salaam Alaikum May peace be upon you from my harm. That's what it means. I won't harm you. Today for us. Let's be honest, As salam o alaikum with a beautiful smile

00:12:25--> 00:13:02

and you daggering the man behind his back like you can't believe you've robbed him you've cheated him you stolen from him and you looking forward to more and every time you greet the broader the smile on the bigger than that the dagger May Allah protect us that should not be the case should not be the case. If we were genuine in our salaam it would become meaningful to live in families and societies and communities. We would learn we would not have problems do you know when you are struggling? Say for example, I give you a small Zimbabwean example. Say the lights go electricity is gone for one week. When we are all together collectively 500 people united, we can solve the problem

00:13:02--> 00:13:42

in two minutes. And even if we don't, everyone feels okay because we read it together. Right? We're in it together we talk about it. We do this we do that we're okay. Look at the cues that we used to have for various items that weren't necessary, for example, fuel. There are times when it has happened and it may happen in the future. May Allah protect us. But because it was all of us in it, weren't we enjoying it to a certain extent. Some people miss those cues when Allah they made friends in those queues, some people did business deals in those queues better than any other business deal. So people were together. That's the reason this togetherness is absolutely important. And in order

00:13:42--> 00:14:24

to be together, you need to have a big heart. Without the big heart you won't be together. If you're selfish, you cannot unite. If you are selfless, you will be able to unite but there is one condition a simple one. We cannot allow oppression to continue in the name of unity, where you say don't worry, one person is oppressing another and you say to the person, nevermind Don't worry, let him continue to oppress because we need unity. That is not fair. You cannot do that. Let that Hoonah Allah Divali me the Hadith says letter Morona Bielema roofie Walton Hakuna anil munkar. You should encourage and enjoin that which is correct, and you should forbid that which is bad and you should

00:14:24--> 00:14:47

stop the oppression of the oppressor when someone is doing wrong. Stop the person. That's what Allah says. Why? Because then the Hadith says if you don't do that, if you don't do that, if you don't stop the wrongdoer doing the wrong, a time will come that Allah will punish you to the degree that when you make dua to him to alleviate that suffering, he won't listen to you.

00:14:48--> 00:14:59

Because you didn't listen to him. All these are part of our duties Unto Allah. This is how we will attain Jenna This is why we are on earth. We are on earth to please

00:15:00--> 00:15:36

Allah that's what it is. So what does Allah want he wants you to fulfill the rights of your parents because He created you through them. And he wants you to fulfill the rights of your broader family because he chose them as your family kith and kin. Like I said at the beginning, if people are struggling, you start off with helping your own family first and then everybody else. And then Community Society Allah created you in it. You're supposed to gather at least once a week for the Juma you come together. May Allah grant us goodness and when we meet each other, don't make someone uncomfortable greeting you. Don't immediately start a you looking like you making a lot of money.

00:15:36--> 00:16:13

That type of statement is actually very cutting you are discouraging someone say some good things or keep quiet man can you let me know Billa he will Young will occur if Alia Chiron Alia Smith, whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say that which is upright or remain silent. Keep quiet. My brother's Salam Alaikum How are you my sister? How are you? How is things How's the family Masha Allah may Allah bless you reward you let do come out of your mouth. Do you know why when you make dua for someone else the angels are saying are mean to the same to our for yourself? How's that? I say May Allah bless you, the angels are saying bless him to Allah grant you goodness grant him to.

00:16:13--> 00:16:16

So keep on making lots and lots of dua for everyone.

00:16:18--> 00:16:19

My brothers and sisters remember,

00:16:21--> 00:17:01

Allah Almighty has also kept a deal to eat twice in the year there are two eats for Muslimeen one is Eagle feta, and one is Eagle Aha. That is the prophets are seldom says without a valid excuse. You're not allowed to remain out of that. Yes, it might be not completely fair of according to most schools of thought but you are strongly encouraged to come out for Salah to lead and what do you do you greet each other you congratulate each other? What else do you do? Subhanallah you come together you? Perhaps there is something sweet that you might want to put in your mouths? What is it all about? You visit your family? It's a day of reconciliation. That's what it is. Why did Allah keep

00:17:01--> 00:17:14

that day in order to give you happiness? Happiness can never be enjoyed alone. You're all alone. I'm sitting on an island just me and I'm happy what happiness is that? You need someone with you? Subhanallah

00:17:15--> 00:17:45

you will go to the Maldives you will always find couples Mashallah. Why? Because a person alone you're going to go there and see what you're going to go there and do what Subhanallah you might find brought a family mashallah people say I took my children and I went to I took my wife and I went, you if someone says I went alone, there may be a reason some people need peace of mind. You want to go alone to be alone for a while no problem. It's not haram. But I'm saying the true happiness continuous long term is only going to be with the people and who should it start with your family.

00:17:46--> 00:18:32

Make sure that you uphold and uplift ties, I want to tell you something technology has advanced. Today, we have WhatsApp groups, most families have a family group or two or three, participate in it actively, in a positive way. Let people feel empowered and happy to be related to you. Let people feel happy to be a part of that family such that if they have a problem, it's easy to communicate half of the solution of a problem is to be able to tell it to someone you trust, you know that half of the solution of a problem is to be able to communicate it to someone whom you trust. And that should be those who are closest to you in relation. In the ideal scenario, may Allah Almighty make

00:18:32--> 00:19:18

it easy for us. So we make use of these groups, and we can fulfill a duty that was prescribed by Allah through the messenger SallAllahu sallam, via this technological gift that Allah has given us. So easy, I can maintain ties with a relative who's across the oceans, just by a little click of a button or the tapping of a screen. But still, we don't do that sometimes. May Allah Almighty make it easy for us? May He make us fulfill each other's rights. My brothers, my sisters, let us make dua that we start off with our own communities and families and societies where when we see each other, we feel so happy, we feel reassured we feel I've got a solid genuine brother or sister, they will

00:19:18--> 00:19:59

stand up for me the day something is and I will stand up for them the day they need it most. That's how it should be. It's not difficult. You just need to be a simple person who cares for everyone, not just yourself. Don't be selfish because selfishness will not take you to paradise. It is selflessness that will take you to paradise. When you spend and you spend in the right cause Allah Almighty will call you out on the Day of Judgment. It will become easy for you to give your records you know, I will end on this note, the prophets of salaam explains to us that the poor people enter paradise 500 years before the rich

00:20:00--> 00:20:06

Now, one might say why it's quite simple because the poor people have nothing to declare nothing.

00:20:07--> 00:20:24

What have you got? Nothing? Okay, move. What have you got to say I got five bags full. Okay, stop here, go on the side. Let's open. Let's check. Let's see, you know how it feels right Subhanallah when a wealthy person has given charities he passes through in a quicker way than those who haven't been charitable.

00:20:25--> 00:21:03

What type of charities are we talking of? We're talking of that which is over and above Zaca, that which is over and above Xhaka. You know, Zakah belongs to Allah. For every $100 You think you have, you actually only have 97.5. The other two and a half are not even yours. You counted them, but they're not yours. They belong to Allah, you've got to give them to him. He's going to take it somehow if you don't, so rather you give it to him saying, oh, Allah, this two and a half was always yours. I'm just giving it to who you told me to give it to. That's all but you yourself. When you go beyond that two and a half now it's you. Now it's not now it's not just something that belongs to

00:21:03--> 00:21:17

Allah. Now it belongs to you and you are giving it that is why the most charitable people are those who give beyond Zakah that's what Allah will grant you paradise for. May Allah Almighty grant us goodness.

00:21:18--> 00:22:00

And may Allah Almighty opened our doors, my brothers, my sisters, let's endeavor to make society and community beautiful. There are too many struggles across the globe. We are fortunate we live in a country with beautiful weather, even though it might be a little bit warmer for us. But if you compare it to other countries, Wallah, hey, we are sitting Subhanallah in a country that has absolutely beautiful weather, it has safety, security, preserve it, what do we need? We need people around us who make it more meaningful for us to get up in the morning. Subhanallah you get up in the morning, you see the beautiful faces, you smile, and you feel like doing something. But if the if

00:22:00--> 00:22:41

that's not the case, you don't even want to get up in the morning. You feel like you know what, I don't even want to go anywhere. Why? Because people have become selfish. May Allah Almighty make us a means of helping each other. May Allah Almighty help us through communities and societies. May Allah help us to uphold and uplift the rights of our family members and our communities. May Allah help us to stand up for those who are wronged. And may Allah help us to stand up against those who are the wrongdoers at the same time. May he help us resolve our matters and problems. And may we be people who are the best parents to our children and the best role models to those who look up to us

00:22:41--> 00:22:45

Akuto Leha or SallAllahu wasallam albaraka ala Nabina Muhammad