Have a Big Heart

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

Thursday Night Harare Session

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Bismillah

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VBAD

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army

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or

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Navy?

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Me

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mi

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ba

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ba

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala

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nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sahbihi normanby Allenby stoning Elijah Medina, my brothers and sisters in Islam, we think Allah subhanho wa Taala for giving us another opportunity to sit together to be reminded of the goodness that Allah subhanho wa Taala has bestowed upon us the duties we have upon us, and to remind us to be the best of people and to live up to the term Muslim. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us truly from amongst the Muslim in this evening, I don't wish to take up too much time as you can see, perhaps some of the network's have not sent the SMS across although it was sent twice. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us a reward for having made the

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effort to attend. But at the same time I have a very short topic. It is connected to a duty upon us. If you take a look at the Quran, it has in it lots of duties that are between us and Allah Subhana Allah to Allah so you have salah and you have Mashallah the Rebbe that the dilemma of the Quran, the recitation of the Quran, the learning of it, the putting into practice of it. We also have other acts of worship, such as, for example, the fasting, we have the act of worship as

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well.

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Hij where we are spending our wealth and at the same time we are going out, fulfilling what Allah subhanho wa Taala has asked us to fulfill spending wealth and also making an effort with our bodies. So some acts of worship are only connected to the body, some are only connected to the wealth and some are connected to both the body and the wealth. Like for example, you have Zika Zika is connected to your wealth not necessarily much of your body, but how would you be able to get that wealth mostly you would need to make an effort which would require your body also to have made that effort. But at the same time from another angle, some acts of worship are connected to Allah

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subhanho wa Taala alone, and they are other acts of worship that are connected to human beings alone. And they are acts of worship that are connected to both Allah subhanho wa Taala as well as the human beings. So they are termed for Coca Cola. Coca Cola means the rights of Allah, you fulfill your Salah that's right of Allah subhanho wa Taala you abstain from eating pork, from drinking alcohol, from listening to music, and so on. This is between you and Allah, you have not usurped the rights of another human being. It's just your relation with Allah. In these matters, it's important for us to know that Allah forgives anything and everything known as a kukula, where there is a

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discrepancy or faltering for as long as you ask Allah forgiveness. So if I acknowledge my sin, I regret it. I asked him about forgiveness, and I promised him I won't do it back again. If those four conditions are met, the sin is wiped out for as long as that sin is one of those known as cocola. Which means it's something between you and Allah. So a person has Say for example, committed adultery, a person may be involved in something haram between him and Allah subhanho wa Taala person hooked on to pornography, a person who might have some other bad habits between him and Allah subhanho wa Taala. These are forgiven by Allah subhanho wa Taala. As soon as you ask Allah

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forgiveness sincerely, and we've mentioned the conditions, you don't need to ever confess any of those things to a human being, never ever, no matter who he is, or she is they don't need to know. It's between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala. And the spirituality is really that connection between yourself and Allah subhanho wa Taala. Sometimes family members like to dig the sins of their spouses may be their children, maybe their parents, maybe their brothers and sisters, maybe these citizens are not usurping your rights. You don't have the authority to go and dig and spy. The Spy is haram. Allah says you want to sign up for it? How do you pay for it? You are not most forgiving, Most

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Merciful. I am most forgiving, Most Merciful. This person's link can be very, very powerful with me after them having repented after them having been in the muck. But with you if you want to inspire, pray, you will never ever be able to understand that they could have been cleansed purely by Allah subhanho wa Taala Yes, they did not take any of your rights and you might hate them forever, perhaps even land up in divorce and so on based on something that was between them and Allah subhanho wa Taala they must have been the best people to you. They never use your rights, they always respected you, they will always the top of the notch and so on. They will never evil people. So if we go in

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and become policemen, for Allah subhanho wa Taala we pay for it.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala says clearly that a person is responsible between him and Allah subhanho wa Taala his sins between him and Allah will remain between minute a between him and a loss of Hannah Howard Allah. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us goodness, yes, if a pillar of Islam is being ignored completely, then it is our duty to come in in a positive way. Say your spouse is not reading Salah. The beauty is we if a spouse is not reading Salah, we don't really have a big issue. The minute you find that SMS from another female, or in the other case, from a male, it's over. We don't understand what is the bigger crime here, the bigger crime we have is so it's actually looked

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overlooked completely. And the one that might be we're not saying it's right, but it's wrong, but it's of a lesser degree, definitely, although its nature is very high. But in comparison to Salah one takes you out of the fold, for example, and the other one keeps you within the fold but as a sinful person. And sometimes what happens we take that one more serious because we've become policemen we've become people I know of people who might have had some very innocent relations within marriage for a short period of time. And before their South Avenue anything they came out of it. And they repented to Allah and they became the best of people and the source has never ever knew

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anything, never knew anything. And yet they've come to help sometimes or sometimes they've told someone you know, I had this issue and so Mashallah, I'm totally free of this analysis. These are phases that human beings sometimes go

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Through. And sometimes we think we know a lot. Nobody can say they haven't sinned. Obviously, the nature of the sin is very different. No one is saying that everyone has sinned in the same way. But nobody can say they haven't sinned at all. And nobody can say that they are not in need of the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So, it's up to us to realize that sometimes we overstepped when it comes to policing people we're not supposed to be policing. And as a result, we don't understand what's the mercy of Allah? What's the Toba from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we begin to say that, you know, this person has actually wronged me, there is one term that I'm going to say here, that

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actually is not an Islamic term, but we use it and we use it a lot. And we wouldn't mind using it to refer to others or even sometimes to the cases that may affect us closer. We say he cheated on me. Have you ever heard that word? He cheated on me? The truth is he cheated on Allah.

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When he cheated on me

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and the wife, she cheated on me and the husband? To be honest with you? Did he fulfill your rights? Does he fulfill them and so on? May Allah subhanho wa Taala, bless us, he requires your help. She requires your help, because she or he has cheated on Allah. That's what it is. But sometimes we fail to understand and realize this because we think they cheated on me. So Allah is out of the equation taken out totally. It's got nothing to do with Allah, this person sinned against me. Are you a God that he sinned against you? No. Did he direct you? Did he not pay any maintenance or something? Does he not look after you is they know, you know, anything else that's happening and so on. So perhaps

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he has wronged Allah subhanho wa Taala. He's read to you. That's how you should be reading it as a Muslim. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability

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to abstain from hurting one another. It's bad. I'm not saying it's acceptable. Don't get me wrong. I'm only trying to modify the way we look at things. Because sometimes we don't realize a spouse whom we have stood by through thick and thin. When they come or when they overcome the weakness of this, we will be a house on fire. Believe me. Those who are the happiest in the world are those who've helped each other through difficult days, not those whom first thing you saw, and Whoa.

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This is a weakness, yes, if you've been smacked, or if you've been, should I say, let me try and word it a little bit more appropriately. If someone has abused you in a proper way, you know, there is proper physical abuse, there is mental abuse, sometimes verbal abuse beyond the point of being able to help them you see verbal abuse, if a person says, hey, you're stupid, may Allah protect us. I don't even like to say that meaning not even here. But if that word stupid is used with me or with you, and then we make a big court case to say, you know what, I was verbally abused. So I went out of the marriage. So what did he say? He says, I'm stupid,

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then you are definitely stupid.

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I'm sorry to say that. But what that means is that when this is bad, it's derogatory. We don't like it. But the man needs help, you probably need help as to how to help him and sometimes it's the woman. But now if a man swears big swear words, that is now verbal abuse, unacceptable. Yes, he needs help for the word stupid, we agree he needs bigger help for bigger words. But when it becomes intolerable, you have the right really to complain to say, I am being verbally abused, this is what it is, I cannot take it anymore. And this is I need to know how to be helped to take the next step, then we are. So this is a very balanced statement. We're not saying that you should ignore it. But

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we are saying there is a fine line between the period of helping one another and the period way you now can no longer help them. So you're trying to seek guidance as to what to do next. Notice I'm not even saying you know, separate because today, any small thing people are not prepared to sacrifice yet. Marriage is based upon sacrifice. Anyone who doesn't have that in their lives, they won't be happy in their marriages, anyone. And that's without exception, you have to sacrifice even if you're the happiest in the Union, there has been a sacrifice that you've made in order to be happy. Happiness comes with that sacrifice. What is the sacrifice, to learn to help one another to stand by

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one another? To help each other in your weaknesses? You don't just marry a perfect guy or a perfect woman finished she's she's a perfect ideal bride. Wow. Now she comes in and next thing you notice something? typical example. She's lazy. Okay, that's a big problem. Lazy, okay, how to help her. helping her would not be you very lazy when you found her mom. You know what this Daughter of yours is extremely lazy. But to be honest, you all you're doing is you're putting water on the seed and you you're making it even more lazy because she's become rebellious. But there's a way of helping. There's a way of assistance.

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See, there's a way of saying things. And if you don't know you need guidance, we cannot just say it in two, three minutes here. But the truth is, let's use that example. So there is a problem. You have to sacrifice when you will be happy. What was the problem laziness. Say, for example, a man very vulgar sometimes, and I have this complaint, or this man is quite dirty. A that's quite a big complaint with someone is dirty, dirty, meaning they don't pick up after themselves. They, they, you know, they miss it, they actually, I hope they're not smelly, but at the same time, Allah protect us. If that's the case, you there's a sacrifice, you don't say I want out, help them, you know, try

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and see how best and we need to treat them. I don't want to say like patience, but sometimes you need to treat them like a person who really requires a lot of help, a lot of help. And that is how you get closer to Allah help those whom ally is brought into your life. You know, the problem is sometimes we look at things and like I said, we think oh, this person is going against my rights finish. I don't want to have anything to do with them again, but

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you were so excited before the marriage during the marriage immediately after the marriage. What happened? What happened? Was there an eclipse when you went on honeymoon? So now the moon is no longer sited and the honey was gone? But as you know, a lot of fake honey nowadays, Mashallah. You need the genuine stuff. My brothers and sisters, it's something very interesting. If you look at it way, ask yourself, if anyone is complaining of a marriage that is in turbulence, ask yourself what am I doing to help the situation? And to complain is not helping

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to just come up and say, you know, this person's bad. I can't I can't do this anymore. No. What are you doing? What have you done? Have you gone to the boiling point? You know what I mean by boiling point, each person has a different point where you've tried your best maybe a few years, five years, six years, 10 years, some people more some people see happiness after 10 years, then they say Mashallah, you know, we worked so hard. We went through all roller coasters up and down. Now we've settled down completely because sometimes people take time to mature both male and female. Some people complain that today people want to get married at 15 but they don't know they mature 35

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it's happening that you know, the sooner they want to marry sometimes the latest a mature so now between 15 and 35 you're gonna have a bumpy ride, you know? And you're gonna have really a roller coaster ride in the sense that one day you Okay, the next day, there's something wrong, but it's does not warranted divorce. No, doesn't. A divorce is something serious. And if you think you will be happier with someone else, when your spouse only has one or two weaknesses, that someone else whom some people already have in mind, once they married has seen weaknesses, law, Allah protect us that the scourge is really two minutes today, may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all. So if you

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have two issues, five issues work on them. And we are not saying that, okay, you have to live with oppression, not at all. But at the same time, what you need to know is you need to live to the extent you need to try your best. Have you tried your best? How long have you spent? What have you done? What sacrifice Have you made? Don't ever look at someone else's bungalow and destroy your heart? We've heard that so many times. So people say look at those people, they're so happy they happily married. Just take a look at them. Oh, they're holding hands.

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When I can actually took your hands to your husband, if that means anything. Hands me nothing. They can hold hands and hug and kiss in public. That's actually it shows how they don't get along with behind closed doors. So they just shown creating a big show in the public to say you know what we actually getting along we just want you guys to notice, may Allah protect us?

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant His goodness. So as I'm saying, the rights of Allah subhanho wa Taala Remember, you need to help people fulfill them. And like I was saying, if it's a pillar of Islam, then you obviously need to take it more seriously different steps can be taken and so on. However, let's get to the rights of fellow human beings.

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We have

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to greet one another. That's right. What is happening Muslim Allah Muslim, you know, there's a hadith which says, what is the right of a Muslim has over another Muslim and several things I mentioned.

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One of them is that you greet the person and one of them is when they sneeze. And they say Alhamdulillah Praise be to Allah, you say your hammock Allah, may Allah have mercy on you Subhana Allah, and then they're supposed to say yeah, de como la. And one is when they pass away, you've got to bury them. Someone somewhere has to bury them. I mean, it's for Loki fire, which means for as long as a group of people who are sufficient for that burial have taken or have engaged in it, then this the duty will be lifted on the entire community. But if no one does it, the whole community is sinful. That's the meaning of photo keyfile. So that is the duty of a Muslim.

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And then when they when a person is ill to visit them, it's a duty. It's one of the rights it might not

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Be a compulsory thing but right meaning something to fulfill as a believer, you're a true believer. How keen are you to go and visit the second deal? May Allah make it easy for us. It is so big, you know, some of the churches around us. I know of them making committees only to visit the city committee. So you go there you tell the most secret SMS goes through a committee from the church goes and visit the city. We have that as an ibadah. Were we someone

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it's contagious. You hate sick as well.

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You've got to think. And this is why it's important for us to know visit him at least only. He's asked him if you know who they are. And obviously, sometimes even if you don't know who they are, but perhaps you might want to go with someone who knows them and just visit them salaam aleikum, we just here to make no extra speech we need to remember, you know, when we visit people,

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we need to be focused upon why we are here. Why are we here? So say I'm visiting a city person, or sometimes we go to a person's house where someone has died. Typically, may Allah protect us all myself included, typically person passed away. So we gone it becomes a social gathering. Hey, how's it a nice dress? You got nice. Sorry to say dress is more than ladies, we do this sometimes. So you know what a beautiful, ooh, this perfume is smelling really nice. What's it? What's the name? You know?

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You know what, please, somebody just passed away? Come on, did you come here to market all the product? So what's the story here, you know, so be focused, and other you see that person is really

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sitting in the corner. So they don't even want to look in this direction. that a person might be making beats to us and really in their own little corner and look at us. What are we saying to others? What are we thinking the thoughts we have, we need to fine line these thoughts. Let's not do that. This is why go the minute your mind starts wandering mcgriddle them and walk away, you will have protected yourself while lying. That's a duty. The same applies someone sees and then you go then you start chatting about everything else. Sometimes you bring in embarrassing things, you know, for what, why is that entering into personal details and so on. And sometimes we see dirty and

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cheap, you know, and yet we've gone to visit the sick, which is an ibadah. Allah says that on the Day of Judgment, a person will come and he will be told Well, you didn't visit me when I was sick. And he will say Allah, how could I have visited? How could you have been sick? He says, What didn't you hear that so and so was sick, Have you visited them, you'd have found me there, which means that is a place where Allah subhanho wa Taala has definitely granted a much higher status and, and value than other little places. Obviously, all places have different value. But this is very high, lofty. You go and see someone who's sick. Remember, it's an act of worship, say good words. One day, I was

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sitting, this is a true story. I was sitting with someone who was terminally ill, and incomes a man and he says you looking bad. In a logical what's your report? looks at it. He said I think he's just two, three more days left. Don't worry, just bear it out. And I'm like, What? am busy trying to tell the guy May Allah create a miracle for you? May Allah help because we believe in miracles. We're lucky we believe in miracles. We all do. But imagine a man This was quite an elderly man. And he comes in and he just burst the bubble completely gone. And he says, You know what? I think two three days Don't worry.

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Now it's almost over. Come on, man. What are you talking about? And I could never have believed that this would have happened. If I didn't want to miss it with my own eyes. Come on, are you that despondent? And I'm busy thinking uncle one day you're going to be there. And I wouldn't like to come as Uncle 24 minutes just just just bear with me. So well is instead of whenever we visit the sixth person, we need to do two things. Firstly, obviously we make dua for them. And on top of that, so we pray for them. We asked him, you know, the do our We ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to cure them to give them to grant a miracle. And then we give them hope. We give them courage, we tell

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them, you know, good things, you know, as I've also witnessed people it's interesting to visit the sick sometimes because you know, you see people say so many things. When we walked out of one place, one man tells me this person is cleansing the oldest sins because I know a lot of the sins this person is committed. Whoa, the first part of your statement was okay, did you know allows cleansing of sins, but you can't say I know the sins they've committed because perhaps it's not. Perhaps really we need to know that we are taught as Muslims and whenever you see, you know, even if you're pricked by a phone that Hadith says that that is elevation of your status in the sense that a few

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things happen. One is with your sovereign, your your sins and expiated meaning they are completely wiped out. And and the more you bear suffering, the more you are cleansed and once you are left with no sin, then obviously your status is being elevated higher and higher. But for someone to come and say, I know the sins this person's been committed, please May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect

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dust from these types of words they are cutting, they are hurting. And the second was actually backbiting I had to say uncle please don't ever say this again, ask for forgiveness. He says no, no, no, no. Okay, I'm at least I'm guided. You know, I should, I should perhaps it's good not to do those sins. You may know, I don't even want to know that. But they may probably have been forgiven A long time ago. How do you know? You know, and what, what should we? Why should we be bothered in that life between them and align their spirituality except in a positive way? So if you want to be positive, tell them no, Mashallah Allah grant you this. Don't worry. And you know, you do this and

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do that one line. That's what it is, I normally tell people, and this is what I do myself, we make a lot of ecfr a day, every time we ask Allah forgiveness is not to say we know since we've committed now today, even if you don't know the sins you've committed, ask us forgiveness. It's a very high, a high value statement. If it's coming with sincerity, very high, it can actually take you to paradise, just forgiveness constantly on a daily basis with sincerity, that alone can actually grant you entry into paradise. That's the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So when we visit the sick and ill, we need to remember it's a duty we seek to them with good words. But the problem with us we

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become despondent.

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We want to have nothing to do with anyone else. Yes, society, to be honest with you, not everyone will be good. Not everyone has good habits and traits. But sometimes a little visit from you can actually change the life of a person. Don't underestimate that. You and I are all ambassadors of Allah subhanho wa Taala. He has put us as vice generals on earth, and to be honest, we have a duty to fulfill what is it to improve ourselves and to reach out to others in a positive way, you may change the life of a person with one phone call, you may change the life of a person who one visit, if you strike the right chord at the right time. Allah could have used you to guide one man. And

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then the Hadith says is better for you than promoting Nam?

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camels which will turn that the time that most valuable of material items in the world the time

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imagined. Now let's get to the crux. The main point that I want to raised

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my brothers and sisters, every one of us,

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we will come across issues with people. Every one of us there will be issues with people who are these people, sometimes family members, sometimes family members and others sometimes perhaps others alone, not family members. But normally as you grow older, they will be issues, they have to be issues. So why are the issues they won't be a single extended family, in my experience that will not have issues. And when I say issues here, I'm not talking of major things, but things that you will need to overlook, you will need to sacrifice you will need to forgive, you will need to have a big heart if you are a Muslim. And if you want to meet Allah subhanho wa Taala with a smile.

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Why did these things happen? The reason why they happen as a Muslim is because Allah wants to test your reaction. That's all put a full stop there.

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That's all so you have a problem with someone. Whether it is an uncle, an aunt, a grandfather, a nephew or a niece in law, your in laws, your brothers in laws, anyone else whoever your sisters, in laws, who I whatever names you can think of I'm sure every one of us The only reason there is an issue is for Allah to test how you react. That's all put a full stop there. And keep on asking yourself, how am I reacting?

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And allowance to watch you? What do you do with these people? Your own son, your own daughters, your own blood?

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How do you treat them? What do you tell them? How do you speak to them? What do you hold against them? What is it

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this is really something that will make you fulfill the rights of fellow human beings starting with those who are most important, those who are the most important. So the This is why you will find there is no extended family that does not have issues, the best would still have minor issues. When I say minor issues. I mean small things. They have overlooked that if you see people that get along very very well. It's not because they're getting along very very well from fil a, but it's because they've made a sacrifice to get along very well. They've made the sacrifice. Without that sacrifice, you won't get along.

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Look at Abu Bakr Siddiq. One powerful example in the

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nephew of his

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what is a nephew close relatives?

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And this man wasn't too well to do and so on and Abubakar radi Allahu used to send him

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Until one day, Allah subhanho wa Taala wanted to test a whole lot of people. So someone happened to start making accusations against the best of women who was I shall be

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the daughter of a provocateur study for the long run and the wife of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. And what happened is we man who was related to them was one of them who spread the rumor, to say, you know what, in our language in our language, he said, she said she had an affair stop

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in our language.

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He said she had an affair. And that hurt, it hurts a lot.

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Why? Because that statement is now from properly bad.

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It's now the rights of a fellow human being because their dignity, their status, you're not allowed to backbite slander spread rumor about backbiting is to speak the truth about someone that they would not like if they were pressed that's backbiting. slander is to lie about them.

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Imagine the difference. Today when we speak the truth about someone behind the back we don't even consider for a moment that this is backbiting it's a major sin May Allah grant me steadfastness and everyone else. So what did

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he do?

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He reacted human nature. What's human nature?

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What this man is talking, and I am sending you on this man, okay? I'm never going to give him any more normal. While I am not going to spend on him again.

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Now, was he wrong? To be honest with you? If someone has really hurt you? Is it wrong for you to say, I'm no longer paying the kids school fees? Is it wrong? It's not wrong. Let's be honest, if you're just helping someone voluntarily, and then you happen to you will confirm that this person is the one who's spreading rumors about you. And if you say listen, just don't come to me anymore. I don't want to pay any more. Would you be wrong?

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You wouldn't it's in your rights to do that. You're not wrong but Allah subhanho wa Taala chose to respond to Abu Bakr Siddiq to guide him that guidance is there for us and this is what I want to highlight today.

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While I

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was sad,

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one year,

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two things mentioned all fatherly meaning Kuhn was citing. Two qualities are mentioned of Abu Bakar study for the long run. Allah says, Those who have fun and sad father means virtue. Abubakar has a high virtue, he has a high rank he's a virtuous person, those who have virtue and a Sam here refers to ease in terms of the dunya also has given you Allah bestowed upon you. So those who have virtue and they have been blessed with sustenance from Allah subhanho wa Taala. It is not befitting for them to take an oath that they are not going to spend on a person who is a poor relative of this who has who is a Mahajan, a poor relative of this for this particular reason.

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Let them forgive, let them embrace don't they wonder forgiveness of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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Allah here we could speak about this verse for a lifetime. Do you know why

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we have relatives closer to us, then that person related to Abu Bakr Siddiq,

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we are doing less for them, meaning we're not even spending so much they have sent statements against us that are not as bad Still, we will not talk to them for a lifetime.

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That's why we failed the test. That's the thing we don't want. If my son does not do what I want him to do, it's game over. I will not talk to him finished. He is and I can tell you what is what happens. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant us all goodness, they say he's sold. So to who don't need to say Oh,

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he's not so there's nothing like that. No ways. Give him the space. Come on. Give them the space. They are human beings. Perhaps we are being hard. Perhaps we are being difficult. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala open our doors. So it's an understanding coming from the Quran where Allah is telling us you are hurt. He accused your daughter of adultery. He is going around spreading the tale, but we want to tell you your virtue. Keep it going. Forgive him.

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Because Allah forgive you Do you know what we wrong Allah in a big way every day, sometimes through our dress code through the way we speak to our missing of Salah. So Villa, that is a major, major sin May Allah forgive us and grant a steadfastness make a strong on our Salah. But sometimes we are lazy, sometimes we even the laziness, we feel for eating salad, you know that that's a sin, you're not supposed to feel the laziness. But if you fight it off, you get a reward. So in a way, depending on how you've ultimately reacted, you can convert something that would have ultimately been a sin into a good deal by warding it off completely. So we commit so much, sometimes we lie, we say things

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we waste time we do so much on a daily basis, each one would know a lot of the times we have even within our dress code and our liaisons and Associates so many different things. And we want the forgiveness of Allah. But we are not prepared to forgive someone else who's hardly done much against us. We're not even prepared to say, Look, I don't even want him to come and say I'm very sorry, I forgive him before that it's over. I don't and really, we don't need to go around telling him, I forgiven him. That's a sign you have a small heart.

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Because your heart is so small that you got to go to the whole world and tell them it's big. If it was me, you don't need to say so. Leave it, you will feel the happiness. Nevermind, leave him forgive. I have no space for hatred in my heart, no space for it. I might stay away from certain people. Alhamdulillah that's not wrong. Sometimes you know, people are the cause of of your distress by merely looking at them because it brings back things and so on. If you may have forgiven them, you may not be associating with them, but you don't have hatred in your heart. Something you need to know there's no space for him to leave. Allah forgive him. I don't hold anything against them. And

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this is why we say to Allah, Allah,

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I am forgiving this prime enemy of mine, totally completely Allah. grant them paradise.

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Granted to me as well. If you're genuine, you will have it before then. Because through your friend, they will get paradise Do you think you won't get it?

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But it's not easy. That's why we've got to keep on talking about it. And if you have the right company, and you have the right frame of mind and you talk to the right people, it becomes easy, very easy to forgive others and you know, tell them Ah, you know what, let them carry on Alhamdulillah Allah blessed us in so many ways. Abella Grandin, goodness as well. We don't need to say Allah destroyed Allah. Allah. Allah.

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Allah show them Allah fix him up. Those are words you might be You're right. Sometimes you might feel a they wronged me They must have they must have it. But what if Allah use the same equation for us?

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Just what if, for example, they wronged us. So we said Allah break the bank.

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And mixing we run the line, big ways in our bank, he started to break.

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It can happen. So the beauty is considered us what we want from Allah, we should want it for others.

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We want forgiveness from Allah learn to forgive. It's your right. Some people are so hurt. And I do know there are dangerous people out there, the world is changing fast. Some people are so hurt that they do not find it in their hearts to forgive. But we still tell them look deeper, searching search a little bit more. What are you going to earn by wanting to see them penalized? Okay, the man was penalized right now I'm happy? Did your life change? In the sense that did that give you any more money? Or did that make you a happier person all for me, I would ask did that guarantee might be my place in paradise. If it did? Well, it doesn't

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want to see retribution all the time does not guarantee your place in paradise. But I tell you what does to learn to forgive almost guarantees your place in paradise. Depending obviously, the reason why I say almost this there are other factors included there. You have to have a man and so on, but almost in the sense that you have a big heart Mashallah, and I'm not nosy and you know what Allah subhanho wa Taala has told us, you've come close to me this much I come close to you this much meaning hence and I come close to your whole foot. So if you are showing the quality of forgiveness to 30 centimeters, for example, Allah will show you the quality of forgiveness to three meters.

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This is the thing but sometimes we don't realize we don't understand why we've never been spoken to. We've never been spiritually counseled to look at things in a different way. We've always had a treat. We always live we unhappy. We don't want to get up in the morning why that person depresses me this one year, you know, I can't do this. No, change your attitude. Your approach must change. Yes, they are bad people on the globe. But the test is for me. If they're really bad. I do have the right to get my my own rights from them. You know, someone steals a million dollars from you. You can't just say the other day we had a dog forgive, I'll give you paralyzed. That's a different type

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of, of writing that you said. That's not just a rumor that was spread. That's a different type of a

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You have every right to say, you know what, I'd like to press charges against an individual because they you said that that million dollars of my own, let's make it more realistic $10,000. Now Allah Subhana Allah, Allah forgive us. But sometimes when the person is not your motor vehicle, in this example, I've used it in the past, it might be

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in the best of your interests to just tell them, You know what, carry on, and I'll carry on.

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Sometimes it might be in the best of your interest to do that. The reason is, in our country I'm talking about, if you say, for example, just off the cuff, I'm just thinking of this example, say someone bumped into your vehicle, and there's a slight dent at the back. Now, you're in the middle of a very, very bad gang seat at half, seven in the morning. And the whole world is stopping and everything is happening, and people are two kilometers back. And if you come out now, first thing is you have to wait for the police, as you know, unless you amicably sorted out, say, you know what, guy? Don't worry, you go I go. Why? Because for me, for me, I'm talking of

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the loss of spending five hours waiting for the cops and then getting your statements done. And then getting that to a further stage. And sometimes it goes to court because it's contested, and then you find statements have been changed. And suddenly you are guilty. So now you have to pay everything as it is yet it was a simple accident with someone else who's not you, you know what I'm talking about? It depends who you know, and how you know them, and what amount you've known them for a lot. But this is what happens in some countries. So the best thing to do would say, look, this thing here would cost me $500 to repair. If I'm stuck here for five hours, that's $5,000 I'd rather save myself

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4.5 and walk away. But not everyone thinks this way.

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I think this way, and I've done it to be honest with you, that doesn't mean bump my car, please.

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But in the same time What it does mean, is that considered the damage sometimes if it's bad, and so on. Yes, you have every right you will wait. It's better for you to wait. But the point being raised is weigh your pros and cons see what there is for you there and act reasonably, you know, may Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us. So getting back to what we were saying, within our families within our communities, we will also have feuds we will have issues. Why there is no community on the globe that has no issues.

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No, not even one not even the non Muslims you have whether they're Christians or Jews or Hindus, or Buddhists or whoever else. There are issues within the communities they have to be. For us. It's a test from Allah, how do you react to it? May Allah subhanho wa Taala blesses me he opened our doors, remember, and I want to raise this point as as a closing point, inshallah,

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we need to have, if you want to live a happy life in this world, you really need to have a big heart, you really need to reach out to those who sometimes might have been negative against you, you really have to reach out to them. You have to be courteous and kind even to those who are sometimes unkind. And you will find you'll be very happy. And yes, where they have temple a little bit much, you may want to consider being a little bit more firm in the way you've reacted. I've waited a little bit carefully, but at the same time you need to know you cannot just react the way the TV teaches you to react. No, not at all. someone does something and next thing my marriage is broken.

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Next thing My children are all gone next. I'm a difficult person. That's why my children are gone. Let's look at it that way. Why do we always have to say they difficult? Maybe I'm difficult. We always have a crisis every time where the generation gap makes it seem to the older people that my children are being disobedient they disrespectful they leading their own independent life, but they don't understand it's just a generation gap. The understanding is now slightly different. It's a you know who cannot meet it. We could use phones which were Mashallah pressing the buttons now. It's touchscreen, and many come see up to today I still cannot speak properly to Siri. She gets upset

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every time I try.

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But the new generation, they have a good conversation. That's that's them. So that means they have a slightly different way of looking at things perhaps they they use different technology. They have different understanding. Give them a bit of their space. Yes. Remind them of their duties unto Allah. Don't be hard and fast about other things. You have to do this way. You know, I entered the house and the people were arguing This is in another country. And I'm wondering, hey, I'm here as a guest in this debate, you know what the debate was? The mother was insisting that on the day of eat, we all need to wear the same clothing. And one daughter in law says Who are you? You know what she

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says? I'm the mother of your husband.

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Come on. Now. They asked me what do you think? I said, Do me a favor.

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Every one with different clothing

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and you know, I could almost hear the mother growling in the background May Allah Subhana Allah protect us really, it's but that's being unreasonable because you want everyone to eat in one place. Everyone must be you know, make a show of pretending to be united when in actual fact, one wants to go to the zoo another one wants to go to Honolulu. And they busy sitting around your table because they looking at you and saying that which is looking.

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Protect us. That's not what you rather say. For example, don't worry, you guys go to the zoo. You guys go there you guys carry on on your holiday, you people. And you know what we myself and your dad mean just be eating at home? It's the deal. He

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will miss you Mom, I love you. Whoa, the other one say mom, we brought you a gift. I don't know why they love you because you're not trying to control their lives more than the control of Allah subhanho wa Taala. That's the new generation. So if you want to happiness, then also to apologize. I know of a problem and a crisis that the older generation, sometimes they say what me to say I'm sorry, not sorry. Well, if you're not sorry, then you're gonna have to face a cracking and breaking up your whole family before you die. Your children won't talk to you, your families will slip away just because mom or dad couldn't say I'm sorry.

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It's not bad. It's a good thing. Sometimes, you know, that old mentality just today I was talking to someone and saying, you know, my generation and I'm sure some of you are older than me. You've seen now we were punished properly. I can read it that way. And to be honest with you, that's what built us according to me, corporately punished, we have fear. You know, when they say be beat in his pants, it may have happened to some of us, Allah protect us. When you see your dad and you just look at him. You freeze into the knee, it's no longer like that. The world has changed. Totally. Today dad sees his son in history.

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That's what's going on. Believe me. Life has changed because son has become big and huge. And he says dad, and dad says sorry, yes, everything's changed. Allah blesses my brothers and sisters we need to enjoy our lives but as I say, within the limits of Allah We remind of Allah subhanho wa Taala but at the same time, please for Allah sake and for your own sake, broaden your heart a little bit. Don't want everything your way This must happen this way that let them have their you know protect them let them happy they don't want to show the world that we all together together when the hearts are far apart rather less physically we can be in different parts of the globe but our hearts

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are so united that not not a few days pass and we've got a call Hey, how you doing what's happening and missing you Mashallah is good. Rather than saying and I've had this happen where people say Whitney she's gonna die. She's living a she's so old indicated she can walk from here today without even barely luck

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to us, Allah subhanho wa Taala bless them. Bless us. I really enjoyed this evening. Mashallah, and I hope to be putting this up in a few minutes in sha Allah, online for the benefit of the others may Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant us or goodness or sallallahu wasallam albaraka Allah

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Subhana Allah Mohammed you can shadow Li lantern