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Advice upon Marriage Officiation – Nikah

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah, Allah, he was had his Rahim, my beloved brothers and sisters.

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We are very happy to be here sharing these beautiful moments with the families of the bride and the groom. And about to witness the affiliation of the sacred union of nica,

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which comes with great responsibility.

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And this responsibility is something that definitely needs to be fulfilled from all parties, and by all parties, from amongst us, they are those

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primarily those who are getting married.

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And I want to give them the words given by Allah subhanho wa Taala, repeated by Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, wherein he says it duckula be conscious of Allah, remember, you are taking each other with the name of Allah. Don't forget that. Don't do that, which will displease Allah. Don't swear, don't scream, don't shout, don't yell and don't be abusive. That's it, respect each other. These are the words of advice from Allah Himself, the maker who made us, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him himself, who is the greatest of creation, the most noble of all prophets of Allah. He says, Fear Allah, be conscious of Allah, treat your spouse with respect, fulfill the rights of each

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other. So inshallah, the beginning of this beautiful union should always be within that which will please Allah then from amongst us, besides the bride and the groom, they are the family's bride side, groom side, you have to have a lot of patience, you have to compromise here and there. Because there are two different families in every case. In fact, if you are too closely related, you're not even allowed to get married, because that would make you a Muhammad.

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So Allah wants you to go a bit further, he wants you to make relatives, he wants you to fulfill the act of worship known as taking care of your relatives, by giving you the chance. A few days ago, I was speaking to a group of youngsters who didn't know their forefathers their names. And I told him Do you know, to get to know the names of your relatives is an act of worship? How are you related to that uncle? They'll say, Well, my sister in law's brother's wife is actually

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you know, the daughter of such and such a person's uncle. Whoa, it sounded so complicated. The fact that you know it, you have a reward, you know why? Because it's only when you know, a relative that you can fulfill the right of a relative, I mean, how can I fulfill your right, I don't even know, your connection between the connection between you and I. So we will be related. And the reward is connected to the fact that it's not easy to get along with people further away. even closer, it's not easy. So there's a bigger reward.

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You must learn not to be too fussy about things. You must learn not to one things your way all the time. You must learn it. It's an act of worship, what is it? It's not something foreign, or haram. It's something else, where to eat, what to eat, what time etc. You can have a change here and there, no big deal. Just be happy and lead your life. May Allah grant us is the problem with us when we want to control the lives of others. It depicts the biggest weakness in us. The strongest people are those who don't have the urge to control the lives of everyone around them. Those are strong. Why? Because I know my link with Allah, Allah allows them to do certain things, who am I to disallow

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those things? So that's a very important piece of advice. Similarly, from amongst us, we are those who are married. It's important for us to work on our marriages. Like I said, we may have turbulence it's normal to have a few disagreements, a few misunderstandings, but it's not normal, to make that a source of abuse and the source of discord to the degree of belittling someone hurting them harming them. No. Let's solve our problems. To solve your problems is an act of worship, major act of worship, the or and speaks about it. Laffy Rafi khatim, in Nigeria home in lurman Mr. Ravi sada 13 Alma roofing is law in Benin. Allah speaks about

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There is no goodness in private meetings unless you're doing one of a few things and one of them is trying to resolve matters between people. You have a private meeting people say why are you guys meeting in private say, look, we're trying to solve a problem. Allah says, Wow, you are rewarded for that.

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Then from amongst us, there are those who are not married.

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Make an effort, inshallah. Don't be too fussy. Sometimes you have to compromise a thing or two, you will never get 100% if you get 8090 or 80 is brilliant. It's absolutely amazing. Mashallah 80% compatibility. That's like a match made in heaven. Subhana Allah match made in heaven 20% you have to compromise, there's no chance that you're going to get 100% compatibility. So thank Allah, make an effort. Don't delay unnecessarily. And sometimes we're in a comfort zone. When you're single, you become accustomed to this comfort zone, male and female. And so you don't want to emerge you don't want to come out. You don't want to dive into the deep sea. You have to, you have to otherwise life

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does not continue. So Mashallah.

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To the groom and the bride. I say, may Allah bless your union to the families I say, may Allah bring you together in his service for the betterment of yourselves and the communities and for service to the dean.

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Now, just quickly before I officiate this nigga I will start with a few words of hope, but it's the sooner practice of the profs are seldom to say a few words of advice at the occasion upon the occasion of nikka I've already said words in English we'll say it in Arabic will read a few verses inshallah you will hear them thereafter. There are so many ways of officiating this nigga, we can actually bring the I was in Nigeria last week, and we officiated about seven, eight there, they don't play games, everything is wholesale. So when there's a nikka, there's not just one nigga, there's about 10, five one time, you know, so there were so many cars that had one football and they

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can they, you know, made the nicus happen. Neither the bride is there nor the groom. The bride is representative by her father represented by her father, and the groom is represented also by someone of the home either an uncle or a dad. Neither of them are there. I'm sure you guys are not really accustomed to that, right. Two of them are somewhere else. The one guy says, Oh, I was busy at KFC eating. I said, you know, and he was getting married. So they, they that's how they get married there.

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And some imams would make you hold hands, because obviously, you know,

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it's an it's a sacred union. And instead of asking a question to you, have you given your daughter or do you give your daughter? They would make you say the statement?

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It's the same thing. It's just that

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they make you say it.

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And then what we do, and especially during COVID, we've actually a lot of people have said, You know what, rather than coming and shaking hands and all of that, we can ask the question simply, have you given your daughter? Yes, I have. Have you accepted? Yes, I have and we're done. The nikka has done there is an E job. The proposal there is an acceptance there are witnesses. There's a ma you don't need to know the exact model for as long as they know it's fine. Because the reason is model is not a competition. For us. We say how much is it? They say one Krugerrand Oh, wow. That's a common one right? The half a Krugerrand, right? They might say 1000 5000 grants 2000 1000 grants, I swear I've

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been to a place where they said 200,000 US dollars.

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And in my mind, I said I never mentioned this in the public. Because it's not a competition. The other guy said you gave 200 I give 500 it's not a competition. Look after my daughter. Even if you didn't give much, it's fine.

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I want you to respect my child. That's it.

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So insha Allah let's do it this way by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala