Selfishness, Narcissism and Spirituality

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self interest, selfishness. Okay. Self love. Yeah.

Now, psychological egoism is the idea that we as human beings, our self interested by nature,

but everything that we do is for ourselves, every single thing you do

is for yourself.

Is this a moral claim?

It's not a moral claim, because we're not saying it should be, ought to be. It's okay for it to be it's good for it to be for itself. But that's why it's called psychological egoism.

Psychologists speak about it. It's the field now of psychology. So everything you do is for yourself.

This is a very important question. I'm going to pause here and I want you to really think about this. To what extent do you agree with the statement? Three minutes speak to the person next to you really think about it, obviously. Alright, so yeah, let's get back in some interesting conversations going on here. Why don't you bring it to us? Tell us what you're talking about? Yeah. So we mentioned that there is there is definitely truth in this.

In, in that a person, usually, when they live their daily life, they do things out of self interest, you know, whether it be work and so on.

And also our self love and reason a person does something is usually to fulfill, like a kind of

a satisfaction within themselves, whether it's like mental, biological, and financial, right? But then we kind of progress on Scott. Okay, how about a mother who loves her child, or, you know, usually a mother would sacrifice her own interests, her own well being for the sake of her child.

But then a person might be able to say that, I'm not only doing this, to feel her own biological needs her own instinctual needs, right? However, is this the same as her sacrificing herself from a psychological standpoint, like, because psychologically, her interest would still be to, you know, like, to eat this plate of food, rather than give it to her child. So it's like a physical, physical infliction of that biological need. And

I like psychological kind of interest. Yes, I think he's definitely thinking about on the right tracks. And this is exactly the kind of conversation that I had, you know, on the example of the mother, sacrificing herself with a child, it could very well be argued that she's doing that because she couldn't live with herself, if she didn't do that. She'd rather live a life where she would rather not live than have to live a life thinking that she didn't save her child. So the pain of not sacrificing her child herself, for her child would be more than the pleasure that she would have living the rest of her life and guilt. So these are the kinds of arguments, you know,

simple

grenade, yeah, the grid examples actually want to sort of use as well, like, you know, and, you know, jumping on a grenade and stuff, but then the question is, is that person doing it to do some kind of a legacy behind, or because they think that this is what's going to really like the thought of them doing that will make them into some kind of a historical figure, don't do it. But if they don't do it, then they say, he, for example, the nation will be destroyed, their his family will be raped, his house will be taken, either mentally, or mentally can't live with the pain, and org element, and or combination of all of those factors. So that he ultimately reasons I'm going to jump

on this grenade and be brave. And that makes me a man or that makes me a patriot. So that makes me an that, you know, a true warrior or something.

You know,

any other points on this?

Basically, we we agree with the with the other guys. There's always a degree of self interest, whether that's

an internal happiness that you gain from something, or you can gain the exterior adulation of other people by doing something. Yeah. So there's always some form of self or self interest involved. You know, it's very good. Well put, I think that's absolutely I think it's very difficult to argue against this. Basically, I think it has been very difficult for anyone's, I guess, in psychology, and even in philosophy to lesser extent, but what I find interesting is, there's been a proliferation recently in the last

I would say 23rd years, especially of literature and psychology about narcissism I'm not sure if you've seen this as even YouTube channels being established how to deal with the narcissist and how to do some that everyone thinks everyone else is the narcissist everyone has an artist in them and the the conventional model right is you've got a spectrum. I'm not sure if you've seen the spectrum or if you heard of it, but you've got on the one side you got the overt narcissist and then on the other side you have we call the covert narcissist. And these are two

sides of it's like a spectrum right so the overt narcissist is an exhibitionist comes across as extremely confident, basically like me.

You know, they will, they will openly tell you what they you know what they want in life, and what they're very disagreeable is

that one is easy to identify. But the covert narcissist, the covert narcissist, they're more difficult to identify, because they can be introverted. They're introverted.

In relationship per psychology, by the way, a lot of the times, for better or worse, is attributed to the woman in the relationship. So the man is trying to dominate his partner through overt means, you know, trying to shout at her talk to her threaten whatever the woman what she will do, you know, this is the simplistic model of you know, covert covert narcissism. And what she will do a lot of the time, she'll, Okay, stay quiet, whatever. And then she will leverage the man in a way, which is more subtle. She'll go speak to her friends about him. She'll make a plan with her mum, about the guy. And so these kinds of things is like, obviously, this is very simplistic, but all of them are

doing the same thing, which is what they're all trying to fulfill their own interest.

And they using whatever is in their power to be able to do so. Why wouldn't the woman in the relationship conventionally right? Well, why wouldn't she

use overt means because she has a lacking of advantage in that aspect. She's not going to go over dominate the guys because it's stronger than allow them her has more money than her as in most cases or whatever it is. Yeah. So she will use the hidden the model goes in this is how they talk about it

means that you have the narc, Mum, have you heard of this, the narc mum and narcissistic mom. And you have all these terms about different types of narcissists. You know, you've got this one and that one. The point of the matter is the assumption is always that we are free from this ability or this propensity to be egoistic and self interested. And everyone else is doing it to us. And it's true that someone can be so pathological neurotic, yeah. That they seem not to care at all about and this is probably what they're referring to when they're talking about narcissism. But the question is, who really gets to set the criteria? Where does it become narcissism? Where does it stop being

psychological egoism? And stop being psychological narcissism? This is a subjective criteria, let's just completely be honest about it. And who gets to judge it? And who will be discriminated against the most in these analyses? Mostly, I would I would wager it would be the the overt narcissist because it's so obvious that that's what they're trying to do. The covert narcissist gets,

you know, soft voice, calm, you know, this and that. But she's a monster. He's a monster. Right? Okay. She's been trying to do it behind his back. She's talking to her girlfriends about him. Maybe she's cheating on him, you know, you know what I mean? Maybe she's doing all this kind of, maybe she's taking stealing his mic, whatever, maybe. But these are just hidden, the same, you know, thing. So

these are just interesting side notes.

I'm not convinced, I have to say looking at the literature of in psychology on narcissism, there's lots of books that are popular books, and academic works. I'm not convinced that this thing is a hard and fast science. What convinced at all by that, and they refer to it really as a personality disorder. But who gets to really choose, okay, this person has the psychological disorder, and the one who gets to choose that is actually an authoritative position. By the way, you're giving that person a lot of power by choosing who is the bad guy who's the good guy in this equation. And I think these are conversations that we need to start having, because if it's true, and I think we all

I've identified that we've all got some kind of psychological propensity to self interest, even the most seemingly

giving person that you've ever seen in your life, then the labeling

of narcissist, narcissist and this kind of language that can be very damaging. It's like, you know, Islamic

history here's the ology this guy's a Catherine, this guy's a monitor that gets to choose who gets to choose. You know, it's the same thing the psychologist can use this to blackmail to, or to to

to harm somebody, or he's a narcissist less we have to deal with him in that way or this person is that what do you have to do that? So we have to be careful of these kinds of things, especially PESTEL sayings. Yeah. Now that we know the underpinning psychology behind it, we will take all of their descriptions with a very heavy pinch of salt. Okay, we have to take it with a very heavy pinch of salt because otherwise people can be abused in the community being labeled another way. Anyway, this is just a side note if you are following any questions on this point on Islamic paradigms, honestly wrong to think of yourself first. Well,

we'll come well, this is the next time right good. Islam has a diagnostic okay. And this is the next slide. It has a diagnostic and it has a prescription okay.

The Islam

diagnosis the human being as selfish and motivated by anxiety actually does that he agrees with this to a large extent

you know,

when other Connell insane I mean Narottama tunzelman azana I mean who in Nolet awesome before you know when we have given the person mercy and then we take away from him he is yet all this is hopeless. And Carrefour is very ungrateful.

You know, obviously, that you may have federal monument on the Day of Judgment, this is most

acutely felt, everyone's going to be running away from their own family members. It's the same thing of being right going to be running away from the mom and dad will kind of you can't say I'm altruistic.

You know, what one of them was gonna want to run some their lives with the kids and this and that. When the stakes go higher, we become more selfish. Basically, that's it, that's the model Islam, the stakes go higher, it will become more and more selfish. We say no, we're not gonna, we're not gonna say that. There's a there's a point where the pain becomes too much that we don't even care about when our parents and our kids, that's the idea they actually agree disagrees with ethical egoism on a psychological level, to a high extent. And my view, right, because look at look at the versus how could you explain that? That means that the any, that means that the the assumption is people are

self concerned, they are even the prophets? Yeah, they won't go into this. You know, I know, I know, the Hadith. I've seen I've seen myself myself. Yeah. Always put themselves first nabina Genie?

Yeah, we'll come to this. But you're on the right track, Sam, for sure.

So this is a diagnostic. What does Islam say? Does it say you shouldn't think about yourself? It doesn't say that. By the way, otherwise, Jenna and not would not be incentives, Heaven and Hell would not be incentives. If a lot of the incentives in the religion of Islam are based on the model that human beings are actually self interested.

You threaten them with more pain?

Because if you don't,

then the more pain you threaten someone with, and the more that they believe that that's actually a legitimate threat, the less likely they are to do the action. And this is you could say this is behavioral psychology one on one and what's in the skin of a dog owner? This is the truth.

Yeah, with COVID. But would you know if someone puts a gun to your head, you're going to change your whole demeanor is going to change?

Yes, exactly. Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yes. Good point. Now.

So Islam does.

However, the Islamic model is the purpose of life is to worship God.

And worshiping God, the apex of it is to worship God for what reason? is present? Because he's worthy of worship.

Not because So, if you try and form an intent, Islam actually says, if you try and form an intention that says that I'm worshiping Allah, not because it's good for me, or because of heaven and hell, but because he's worthy of worship. That's a higher level, intentionally, then to do for you and say,

Now, can someone the question is Can someone completely and I've thought about this a lot. Can someone completely dis Okay, break off break off? Any notion of self interest from this? I think that's difficult. I would say for me, because I can't speak on it was about that's impossible. He talks about he said, the highest form is due for the pleasure of Allah, people who do not Yeah, exactly. So to do for the for the pleasure of a lot to do, because Allah is worthy of worship. Yeah. However, is that the only reason why I'm doing it? It's going to be difficult. I would never say yes to that question. That would be me lying to you in front of your faces. I will. There's always an

element of self interest there. In my opinion, for me anyway, my aim is not to try and deplete that because I don't

seek ALLAH has held me to that standard. And if you held me to that standard, there would be no heaven and hell worship Allah, no incentive, no disincentive. He knows what he created. And he created self interested to a large extent, beings. But but we have to try and rid ourselves from this as much as we can. Yeah, we do actually have. And it's not inconceivable, the Islamic paradigm goes for you to worship gods.

Because God is worthy of worship, because he is has all these attributes, and that this is the most appropriate thing to do with a God like that. Well, the only god that's worthy of worship is Allah.

Now, if you're worshipping Allah, like you're praying, and you're fasting, and that's in your mind, that's the highest form of worship.

That's actually the high school version, where you try and you try and have an out of body experience like he actually thinks yourself. I'm doing this because God is worthy of worship. Even though your the unconscious mind might say you liar,

your unconscious mind who says you liar, you're doing this because you feel good, don't you?

But let the unconscious mind say whatever it wants to say so long as you make a conscientious effort to say that yourself when you're praying this is sure level high level which is like you know, when you when you're concentrating and the prayer is the highest level there's no higher this is the spiritual apex.

Muslims in Norway are now establishing in masjid and dour center to enhance the Norwegian Dawa. If you donate to this cause you will in sha Allah reap the rewards of 1000s of Muslims coming back to Islam and many of those who become guides and invite slam so click the link and donate now and share the video for extra reward.