Spend Quality Time with your Family
Channel: Mohammed Faqih
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My dear brothers and sisters,
we all want our children to be dutiful to us.
To be respectful,
to be obedient.
To be virtuous,
to be the best they can be starting with their relationship
with us as parents
and this is one of our rights as parents
and children who don't have children.
Don't worry, one day in sha Allah Allah that will be your right over your own children.
So this chutzpah
we can all relate to it. However,
if you look at our rich tradition, you will find a statement that is so profound that needs to be analyzed and broken down
where it is reported
that a shabby
this to be
suggesting this to be a prophetic statement
the following statement and I just want you to pay attention to it.
will Hadith Morrison.
Rahim Allah Who
while he then
Anna wala Jehovah
Rahim Allah who may Allah azza wa jal be merciful and showered with Mercy while he then a parent,
a father or mother
and Elijah who helped as an assistant
and was able to aid while at the who his child, Allah berry he to be virtuous towards him or her.
So this very right that we parents very often demand from our children.
And I hope in many cases for their own good
begins with us.
We are the ones who are supposed to instill that in them.
We're the ones that are supposed to inspire them to be dutiful, to be obedient, and to be respectful and virtuous.
And that is precisely why Imam Al Bukhari Rahim Allah and his amazing connection collection, illegible move fraud.
He has a chapter titled Bible be real Abby Lee Well, Edie
and in that famous story of one of the Sahaba dealing with a father and a son that had a dispute, and the father was complaining about his son
Oh my god.
I know you told me my father's right over me. Tell me what my rights over my father
So when he told him, he said, Well, let me tell you.
Let me tell you who he married
and chose to be my mother.
Let me tell you what he named me. Just because whatever was happening, and it just sounded good name.
Let me tell you how he brought me up.
And that's when this respected and honorable companion looked at that man from that second generation, he looked at him and said, there is very little I can do for you. He said, Alcator, who oblah Your UK, you violated his rights before he violated your rights.
There is not much I can do now you can just make dua basically.
So what are the rights? I mean, we're all familiar.
Hopefully, those of us who are parents, and those who are parents to be and those who intend to inshallah to Allah,
get married soon.
Those who are looking into building a family and starting a family,
those who are hoping that one day in sha Allah, Allah, they're going to be able to build a unit.
And young folks, brothers and sisters, young, my nieces and nephews, my sons and daughters, listen to this, those of you who are in that process of either finding someone getting to know someone getting married, keep this in mind. It is not all about you, and about your joy, and about your who you are attracted to, or who you like or who you're you enjoy. Now, think long term, think ahead of time, soon, these years are going to go by real quick, and then the things that really matter,
are going to matter.
So think ahead.
Don't wait until you find yourself in that dilemma. For one of the most essential rights that our children have upon us is that you carefully choose
you carefully choose the person who's going to be the parent of your child.
Be very careful.
Right as to who you choose to be the parent of your child, this person is going to be the mother or the father of your child.
Obviously, if you're a male, it's gonna be the mother of your child. If you're a female, it's gonna be the father of your child.
So my nieces, my daughters, my nephews, my sons, choose carefully.
Does this person make a good parent does this person has a potential has the potential
to be a good parent, someone whom I can trust
with my own children, and my future, and the future of the community, and the future of the Allah Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So choose carefully.
That's number one.
you make so make sure that you yourself, educate yourself, prepare yourself, train yourself.
We're not all born naturally, as good parents. Parenting actually in parenthood. For most of us, even those who theoretically study it.
Literally, you get training on the job, as you go on, and there are a lot of trials and errors. May Allah Subhana Allah, forgive us for the mistakes that we made.
And may Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us so that we can make the best decision on behalf of our children. And I remember that moment precisely, exactly almost 14 years ago, almost exactly 14 years ago, when I held my son and I said, Oh my God, every decision that I make, or every decision that I fail to make is going to impact this person's life.
And it's a heavy load. There's a lot of pressure that comes with that.
make sure that you do your best to prepare yourself for this role. It's a huge responsibility.
Allah subhanho wa taala. We want our children to be with us and Jana, we want to make it to Jana. We don't want our neglect or our abuse or our
failure to fulfill our responsibility towards our children to be the cause for us to be disqualified from entering gender and
If we make it to gender, we want to make sure that our children
catch up with us, they come with us or that they become the means for us to be in Jannah. If they're in a higher place, we want that.
I wonder this God says that Allah subhana, Allah says in Al Abrar, Allah calls them abroad because they were kind and they were dutiful to their parents, they were virtuous with their parents. That's one of the essential qualities of the people of Ghana. Rest assured, it's for the for your child's sake and for your sake, for your peace of mind for your ultimate peace of mind.
That we do this, that we have to work hard and take responsibility seriously, because I can't imagine someone really fully enjoying Jana, knowing that their children are burning in hellfire, or vice versa. That is why Allah azza wa jal says, Yeah, you have ladina Amma No, oh, you who believe who am Fusa can protect yourselves and your children. Now?
protects them from hellfire?
So this idea, and we're being fed this day and night that somehow as parents, the only responsibility we have is that we make sure that they succeed
in this life, and this material world of ours, that's that's all, and that they're happy with us and that we supposed to serve them and entertain them and protect them and take care of them. And we're responsible for their happiness somehow. We're being bombarded with this day and night. Yes, indeed, these things are essential and important, but the ultimate, and the most important
responsibility is that we make sure
that we do whatever it takes for them to know about Allah Subhana Allah so that they can make it to agenda
and fulfill that responsibility.
And that is why Imam Shafi Rahim, Allah said, one of the essential obligations of any parents is that they teach their children the basics of the religion, they teach them about the relationship between their relationship with Allah subhanho wa taala.
That is the parents responsibility, not the Sunday school teacher, not the Islamic Studies teacher at the you know, Islamic school. Not Not anyone, no one can do it like you. And you can do it in different ways. Someone might say, well, I don't have the skills, I don't have the information that's there, you facilitate it,
you reinforce it, you embody the teachings, because one of the greatest complaints that children have is that their parents are not an embodiment of what they preach and what they lectures about.
So that's very key. Number two, my dear brothers and sisters.
Quality, time, quality, time, quality time, one of the blessings
of really, that we are enjoying that many of us is that we can make time for our children if we want to.
We can, and those who do May Allah subhana, Allah bless you, may Allah reward you for that. My message for those who are doing that is enjoy it. Enjoy the experience, you're actually creating amazing memories with your children. Enjoy it, get into it, be part of it, try to enjoy.
Many parents don't realize how fun their own children are, how sophisticated and how intelligent and how smart they are, because they never took the time to actually engage them at that level.
Some of us need to loosen up a little bit.
Some of us need to make the time. And I always that story that one of the community leaders told me about how this particular moment with
someone who was extremely successful
in his business or his career, there is something that he told him about why he decided to get involved and engaged in the community and be very active. Right? And he said, he said that this is a person who I consider it like a mentor to me, he told me that made him realize that you know what?
I need to make sure that I have plenty of time, attention
and experiences or memories with my children. Because this person told him that he was so into his business and he grew his business and his
empire. I show my soul my soul that any he was always busy traveling meetings, this that. And then he was always waiting for that special birthday. And his daughter at the age of 16 or or 18. He took her out to a very fancy nice restaurant.
And there he gave her in a box. A key very, very fancy key of
exotic, custom made car.
She looked at it, she said, Dad, this is beautiful. Thank you for that. But you know, I really don't need it. My Honda Civic is fine. I don't know if it was Honda Civic, whatever it is fine. I don't need this car. You may have it. Instead, please give me two weeks of uninterrupted no cell phone nothing, two weeks of your time.
And he said that broke me.
He said that broke me. I realized that there are a lot of things I missed out on.
This is one of the most common complaints children our children have, especially us immigrant parents.
from many of their activities, Allah azza wa jal in the Quran praises the believers. And says that when Latina, Yaku, Luna and I BANA have learned I mean, as well as you know what the reaction of Rotarian was your email Imam,
Allah subhanaw taala says that the believers are supposed to pray and ask Allah subhanaw taala to make their wives or their spouses and their children a delight, a coolness, a delight to their eyes, a joy, how are you supposed to be delighted with something that you don't never, you don't have the time or you don't spend the time to really enjoy and analyze and realize and notice how in order to do that, you really have to spend quality time, uninterrupted nothing, no cell phone, nothing. Right? And try to focus and live the moment and internalize it and be mindful of the moment.
Not be always rushing, just really be mindful of the moment. Get to know these, these individuals that you call show children.
And if you remember two or three years ago, one of the things a lot of people a lot of parents reported, right? Was that because of COVID because of the lockdown, many people striving to get to know each other.
Right? Remember that? That? You know, they said? Well, I realized that my wife and children really like nice people.
You know, one of the blessings of COVID people now are forced to spend time together. Because before that studies show that the average American family spends only 37 minutes a day together.
And most of that is not even quality
37 minutes a day,
out of the 24 hours.
And then when that moment comes,
right, when we realize that our child is in trouble, it might be very late for many of us. So we have to pay attention. So quality, time, quality, time, quality time, my dear brothers and sisters, and it's the greatest gift you give us someone said because time is life and life is priceless. It's the most expensive, like it's priceless when you give some of your attention and your time to your child and who deserves it more than the people that we would actually give our lives for. You ask any loving parents they will tell you I will die for my children. We're not asking you I'm not being asked to die for my children. I'm being asked to live for them and spend some time with them
before they're old enough to
walk away and live on their own. So my dear brothers and sisters especially fathers, please do that. Take the time to do that. Right. And my dear sisters, right children being off school we should not look at that as like the worst nightmare ever. Oh my god, they're off you know like
why, you know, take advantage of it. Let's create memories and experiences together and then Hamdulillah we have great activities here at the masjid I invite you in sha Allah Tala to be part of that accord who has a code or software Allah Allah confessor Ferroviaire fella come in the hall for all right.
Alhamdulillah Hamdan get here on favor Mubarak and fie wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. By the way, this concept of quality if I may in sha Allah Tala before we conclude this idea of spending quality time with our family members, our loved ones, our spouses and our children. It's actually prophetic. None of us can really claim
To be busier than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. None of us can claim to be more serious about life than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. None of us have a heavy, heavier load, and a greater pressure than that of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, yet the Messenger of Allah sometimes in the most difficult of times, the prophesied Selim would make time for his children for his wives salAllahu alayhi wa sallam he actually make time it was actually part of his daily habit, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he stops at the apartment, or the place of residence of each one of his wives, and spend few moments with her and check on her and say Salaam and all of that, how was
your night? How each one until he finally goes, the last person that he would go to is the wife that he's supposed to spend that day with.
But every day he will make a PSA. And nowadays, we have people, husband and wife. We're not even talking about someone who has multiple wives, husband and wife living together in the same quarter. They actually make an appointment to see each other.
I know couples that communicate via text message and WhatsApp.
Couples that beg each other for by the way, I haven't seen you for a while. Can you send me a picture?
Seriously, I'm not joking. I'm serious. It's really sad.
Right? FaceTime is one of the best like some for some people, that might be the reality for some people. Maybe that is, you know, their arrangement. I'm not making fun of that. Hmm, I'm not I'm serious. I'm not saying but. But at least if they do that on a daily basis to me, I'm fine with that.
I'm fine with you FaceTiming your wife every day.
Right, that's actually something great checking on each other.
Because I tell you, it breaks my heart when I learned about someone dying in their own living room and their own spouse not knowing about their death, except the next day.
Rasulullah, Salah May time after failure, he would go make a stop sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and at night before he goes to sleep or to spend the night and he would make sure that he stopped. This was part of his daily practice. Very seldom the prophets I certainly didn't do that. He would check on them. And then he made time for his daughters even after they got married faulty model did Allah Allah, there is that narration, multiple narration there is that narration where he went and he actually, you know, sat between her and I literally Aloha.
And, you know, they all covered with one blanket
and had a conversation with them. The problem is, how would you make time for his grandchildren's on the law? How are they gonna send them, be it the children of Fatima are the children of his other daughters.
And he would make time to actually even play with him he had play time with them famous story. Very often al Hassan and Hussein would write the prophesy salams back
you know that narration when he when one of them actually came and sat on his back while he was making sujood leading the Muslims in Salah.
That's because he was so used to it.
And he they thought you know that he was a camel he would say normal German who German lucuma you know, your camel is the best camel. They were playing pretend.
The process was said Don't call me camel. I'm not camel. No, he didn't say that.
That's fine. One one call to German
parliament MlJ. The best camel is your camel
and the province wa sallam one time giving a fatwa. And the process I'm used to be very passionate about his chutzpah. He saw an Hassan Hussein tripping and his own garment he had you know, his garment was loose, loose, and he was walking and tripping in it.
The problem is Time stops his heartbeat goes down the three the two steps, goes down goes and he picks him up. And he comes back and he carries on.
I have you know.
A friend, an imam who's whose son one time that happened to his son. And he found himself compelled to actually do that. His community members they said that was one of the most powerful lessons we witnessed, practical lesson.
The time that we have with our family members and our children's specifically is very short and it goes by so quick.
Ask any one of us look at the old pictures. Sometimes you don't even have to look at it, you know, Google Photos or you know,
Yahoo or whatever you're using will remind you that today is the 12th anniversary or the 15th
If anniversary for this particular picture, and then that's when it hits you. Oh my god.
It's gonna go quick.
So my dear brothers and sisters, I urge you to take care of it, cherish it. Pay attention to your child make dua for them. Be
inspirational, be someone who brings inspiration brings the best out of them, facilitate whatever they need, and I can't I can't think of anything that is greater than the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala So may Allah subhanaw taala bless our children, protect them. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us of those who will be followed by their children and follow their ancestors to Jana Turner, Amon May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us in our children a happy joyous, successful life and a great an honorable return to Him subhanho wa Taala Robina hablan I mean as far as you know, Kurata Yun was your Imam Allahu Medina Abner and of human Hadith well I feel like human I faith whatever none of
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