Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
Fill out 100 electoral Bill alameen wa salatu salam ala l mursaleen. Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa, seldom at the Sleeman kathira kathira, for mavado mighty sisters,
to close the loop Finally, on the issue of parenting, I want to draw your attention to and forgive me if I am repeating some things, but I think they are important enough for us to
repeat them and to remind ourselves again and again. And that is that even though
I last ran out of data, ordered obedience to parents, being kind to them,
being submissive to them, humbled before them, respecting them. All of these things, a lot of anatella enjoined upon the children, Allah, Allah made in front of them, the children, Allah subhanho wa Taala
told the children to ensure that they behave with parents in this way. Having said all of that, Allah subhanaw taala also gave a
caveat, where he told the children to obey the parents as long as the parents are guiding them towards the obedience of Allah subhanaw taala but if the parents govern them to do schilke, if the parents tell them to disobey Allah, if the parents tell them to disobey, Rasul Allah, Allah Allah, then Allah said, laddle to Allah, Allah said, do not obey them, do not obey them, the thing for us to understand and this is a very important thing. And very often we see this, which is that I always tell people, you cannot and you should not try to play with the source of your power
with the source of your authority, because if you try to play games with a source of your authority, you can only get hurt. Allah subhanho wa Taala is the source of our authority. Allah subhanho wa Taala is the source of our power.
As parents, we have the rights that we have, we have the duties that are enjoined upon the children with a V the parents are all because of the outcome of Allah subhanaw taala because of the order of Allah Subhana Allah
in a marriage, for example, the rights of the spouses on each other, the rights of the wife on the husband, and the rights of the husband and the wife are because they have entered into matrimony they have
got married, they have gotten married according to the Islamic way. And therefore, they these rights and these duties are given to them, these are privileges and these are duties given to them, by Allah subhanaw taala
automatically means that they will have these and they will be entitled to these as long as they keep their connection with their rajala delallo intact. But if they break that connection, if they change that, then obviously, those rights and privileges will be taken away from them. Take for example, a person who marries a non Muslim,
Muslim marries a non Muslim, now automatically because this marriage itself is not permissible. Therefore, the non Muslim spouse cannot inherit from the Muslim spouse and the Muslim spouse cannot inherit from the non mistress.
So, if the husband is Muslim and the wife is non Muslim, the when the husband dies, the wife is not one of his heirs, she will not inherit from him because she was not Muslim. Vice versa if the wife dies first and she was a non Muslim, the husband will not inherit from her because a Muslim cannot inherit from a non Muslim. And that is why we have to understand that rights and privileges that we have, whether it is in the in the case of
marriage as spouses, or whether it's in the case of parents and children. They all derive from Allah subhanaw taala della did Allah and Allah subhanho wa Taala
give them to us for a reason. And as long as we keep our relationship with him, jell o jell o intact, we are entitled to those rights and privileges. But if we if we allow that relationship
To wake, and to sever, then we will deprive ourselves from of the rights and privileges that Allah gave us, quite apart from attracting, may Allah protect us his anger and his punishment when we meet him. So while talking about the obligation of children to obey the parents, it is necessary also to remember that parenting is a responsibility. When obedience is ordained for children, their tarbiyah is ordained for the parents. Obedience is ordained on the children, and the tarbiyah his audience on the parents, parents today seem to have this
funny idea of parenting, which seems to be absolutely Akin, and the same as keeping a pet. Right. So if you have a pet cat, or a pet dog, or a pet goat or something,
all that you really need to worry about is to ensure that this pet is groomed, properly bathed regularly, has a comfortable bed to sleep in, it's kept warm in the winter, it's, it gets enough food, if it gets sick, then you you know, you take it to the doctor, and so on and so forth. Just physical needs basically, as long as physical needs are taken care of. You can say, well, you are a good pet owner, because you're taking care of the physical needs of the pet, the pet has no other needs, as long as you keeping it dry and warm and well fed. That is it. People seem to think that raising a child is just like that. The pet has four legs, the child has two legs, that's the only
difference. Right? The pet is a mammal, the child is a mammal, La La La La La Jolla, z. My brother and sisters a huge there is a huge difference between raising pets and raising children. Right I know you are not going to say that, you know it is the same. And you're and even though you might be raising your child in exactly the same way as you're raising your cat. But you won't admit that but you will see the results of it if that's what you're doing. Because children need therapy, children need to be raised. Children need to be given values and ethics and morals. Just yesterday, for example, I was doing this,
this webinar on entrepreneurship.
Many of you would have seen that if you haven't seen it, it's there on the on my yahveh vegan associates, YouTube channel go and see, I hope you will find it interesting. The topic was how to be a successful entrepreneur. Now the organization which
which invited me for this webinar, and which was running this webinar, they even had a
they had a link where you had to register for it. So you just couldn't, you know, float in from somewhere, you had to register for the webinar. So people registered and hamdulillah there were 444 people live participants for this webinar. And I think that's one of the signs of the power of the internet, that we can get so many people together in one
in one cyberspace, they're obviously not together physically.
But you can talk to so many people to the beach and so on as much is very high. Anyway, so they are registered now. Just before I was about to begin, I'm talking about therapy about raising children, giving them the right values and ethics. So just so the
one of the organizers, it was my very good friend, the managing director of ID fresh food.
Mr. visie Mustafa, he said to me,
he said, Chuck, when you put up the i was i was using a presentation of PPD PowerPoint presentation. He said when you share your screen
go up to the top we know where the thing and there are three dots press on that. There you are, there's a drop down menu and there it will be it will there there's a selection called disable annotations. So do that disabled and I said what is annotations? He said you know, otherwise people will come and they will draw lines on your on your presentation they will try to destroy I said it was absolutely amazing. I said what on earth Why would anyone want to do that? right why would anyone want to draw lines on somebody else's presentation and and spoil it and what what do they get out of that? So anyway,
I I said okay, so if you if he's telling you to do that
so happened that when the presentation started and I put up the put up the slides before I could go and disable the annotation that suddenly fine for three or four yellow lines across my screen.
I was shocked, I was absolutely shocked. Anyway, now I disabled annotations that I reordered the presentation. And, you know, I was able to get rid of the of the of those lines. But my point is, here was somebody who registered for this presentation. So it is not somebody who just floated it, this person registered for the presentation, they obviously stopped doing whatever else they were doing, they took some time out of their life, they came and sat in front of their computer. And all they did was to try to design a presentation to draw lines on the presentation.
What do you get out of that?
Now there is also a button there, which says identify the person making the annotations. Now I could have done that I could have clicked on that, I would have gotten the name of the person. And I could have shamed that person before 400 other people,
I decided I am not going to lower myself to that level.
So I didn't do it. in the chat in the present in the in the in the zoom, somebody wrote that somebody said, please identify this person. I said no leave, it doesn't matter. Allah knows who this person is.
Not me. How shameful is that?
how utterly shameful is that. And let me also tell you, the organization which organized which organized this thing is a Muslim Islamic Center in Bangalore. Now there were some non Muslims in this out of these 444 people, there were some non Muslims, but the vast majority were Muslims. So the likelihood, I'm not saying with certainty that it was a Muslim, but the likelihood that this was done by a Muslim was much higher than the likelihood of that having been done by a non Muslim. Just the numbers.
Ask yourself what kind of parenting is that whoever did that? What kind of parent does he or she have?
What kind of a human being is that? You take the time and the travel to go and register for a for a lecture on a serious topic, you will sit in front of a computer, you link you, you you click on the link, you log in, you do all of that, only to try to destroy the presentation, which is being made for the benefit of everybody. And I take no money for this. I was doing it for free.
how utterly shameful is that this is the result of very, very bad and poor parenting.
Right? That is why I'm saying that parenting is not like bringing up or bringing up a pet. Now many times ask people in parenting workshops. So how many kids do you have? Somebody says I've got two hour three hour four.
So that I tell them a kid is a baby goat.
Goats have kids.
How come you have kids? You have given birth to a goat?
Or are you bringing your child up like a goat?
Do some grass, give him some leaves, put some water there and you think your job is to clean up.
Neverland sisters, please wake up
insha Allah, a means of sadaqa jariya for you.
They are the means for you to earn gentlemen.
Don't make them into a source of Algeria for yourself. Ongoing punishment because of the way you either brought them up or didn't bring them.
Right. There'll be a Allah subhanaw taala ordained obedience for children and he ordained tarbiyah for
parents. Now while the obedience to parents is not conditional upon the parents being obedient to Allah, the children are toward obey your parents, honor your parents, even if they are not obedient to Allah, even if they are not Muslim.
Even if they deny a lot of our data altogether.
You know, still you obey them.
But it's very good to remember that if you want authority, then you have to honor the source from which you derive it.
And in this case, that source is Allah subhanaw taala himself
if you are not obedient
Allah subhanho wa Taala
the desire to be obedient to you will live the hearts of your children. And the same thing applies with the spouses. You know, many times people come to me.
Either parents come and complain about children or spouses come and complain about each other. And they tell me please speak to my wife and tell her the rights of the husband and speak to the husband and tell him the rights of the wife speak to the giant tell him the rights of the parents.
So I told him, I did all the people, I say, No, I will do that. inshallah. I've got no objection to that. But tell me Have you been fulfilling the rights of Allah?
Have you been fulfilling the rights of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Have you been fulfilling the rights of Rasul Allah, Allah? Did you raise your children did you bring up your children to respect Allah to respect to sources Allah? Did you bring up your children to obey Allah and to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah Rasul?
Or were you among those who actually object who have a problem when their children follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah son.
The boys start growing a beard the mothers got a problem the father's got a problem shave your beard.
The girl wants to wear a hijab the mother has got a problem the father's got a problem.
The mother standard mothers especially the mothers oh you will never get married. As I'm getting married is this is the purpose for which the girl is born Allah insha Allah Rama Calico Jennifer is
not created the man and the the the gene and the human beings for anything other than worshiping me. Allah did not say I have not created the woman for anything other than marrying and getting married. No.
They weren't problems I already narrated to the story of this little girl who came up to me in in January in a school and what she told me so I won't repeat that here. But I've seen this so many times that of parents trying to force their children not to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah
I know that parents there are parents who try to stop their children from going to the masjid I'm not talking about these COVID times I'm talking about general times when when massages were open and you are going even today our sizes are open. Those of you who want to go and pray as long as you're maintaining social distance and so on you can do that. But the point is that parents do not allow children there are there are parents and Muslim parents who will try to force their children not to go to the masjid not to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah salah and then they have a complaint when those children become rude and when those children disobey them and so on is Oh this is so bad, this
is what my child is doing and so on so on. So he issue is that you are the one you taught your child to disobey Allah and you taught your child to disobey Rasul Allah says Allah, obviously you are not as as important as Allah and and the messenger Salah. So if you taught them to disobey Allah, then how is obedience for you willing to be in their hearts?
Right? I've seen parents doing all kinds of funny things. I've seen parents, emotionally blackmailing children,
especially in the issue of marriage, please understand is very clearly
The prospective bride and the prospective groom have absolute authority about who they will marry.
The parents have no right zero rights, to try to force their daughter to marry somebody or to force their son to marry somebody they have no right whatsoever. If you force them, then you are committing a major sin and you are answerable to Allah Subhana Allah number one, number two, if you force them, then if the second degree of force, and I strongly, strongly strongly advise all prospective brides and grooms. If you don't have a backbone, don't get married at all.
If you are ready for marriage, you must have a backbone, which means that if you want to marry somebody,
then marry them.
If you don't want to marry somebody, then tell your parents Sorry, I'm not marrying this person. That's it. You are fully within your rights to do that. If you succumb and you marry the person that you don't want to marry, that you don't like that you are not compatible with, but you did that because my parents forced me, then be prepared for hell on earth.
Be prepared for destroying your own life and you
are responsible, not your parents.
You are responsible, not your parents, because you are the one who did this, even though you knew perfectly well, that you did not need to do that.
There's a beautiful Hadith as a story for the Sierra, where this young lady came to a solar cell. And along with her, she had a few more of her companions.
And she said to us well as salaam, Yasser Allah, my father married me to my cousin.
I don't want to marry him. My father forced me. So I want you to pronounce or divorce. I do not want to marry Michael.
So Rasulullah sallallahu tried to advise a retired Teller, you know, your father knows the best for you. I'm sure he wanted the best for you.
So it doesn't matter. You know, even if you didn't, if you don't like him, he also asked him, he said, Is there anything wrong with that person? He said, No, nothing is wrong with it. He said, is there? Is there a problem with religion is easy? Are you objecting because he has bad habits? He is indulging or indulging in haram or he's not praying or something? Or he's got you know, there's a problem with religion. Is that the reason why she said no? She said, I've got no problem with his religion. He's, he's practicing, he does not do anything Haram. You know, he is fit and fine. I just don't want to marry.
Why? What is the reason he said, Jesus is not?
My father forced me I don't want to marry.
So as soon as I said, in that case, I will separate the two,
I will rule that you are no longer married, I will break this marriage.
So then she does to the door company. And then she says, See,
I told you, the Father has no right to force his daughter to marry somebody she doesn't want to marry? And she said yes. Well, it's just not true.
Yes, it is true. The Father, meaning father and mother have no right to force their daughter. Usually with sons they don't, that doesn't have a zone but applies to both son or daughter, to force them to marry somebody they don't want to marry. The parents do not have that. Right.
So then this girl now turns around, and May Allah protect us from I want to say, protect us from women until I suddenly remember I'm married, I've been married happily for 35 years. My point is,
she then turns around Jesus jasola, please do not break up my marriage. I withdraw my supplication to you my application to you. I don't want to divorce themselves or whatever.
Just now you're adamant about this thing. I can't be with him. He said no. He's a nice person. He's my cousin. Everything is fine. I just wanted my father to know that he cannot force me to marry somebody of his choice. And I want my sisters which is, that is his or her companion. I want my Muslim sisters to know what their right is that it is their right to refuse to marry somebody if they don't want to marry and they don't even need to give reasons for that.
Now bronze is this is the, this is the power that Islam gives you this is the the the freedom that Islam gives you as a woman. Now, of course, the same thing applies to you as a man.
Now, all of this Islam gives you
and you take this because you are Muslim, you take this from Allah subhanho wa Taala.
So along with that come the rights and privileges. Now if you are not going to
fulfill the rights and privileges
then the authority also goes away.
Right. So please understand this. I gave you the example of marriage because that I'm combining these two things, parenting and, and, and marriage. Please understand,
nobody can force you to disobey Allah because Rasul Allah wa sallam said, there is no obedience to the creator to the creature, to the slave in the disobedience of the Creator in the disobedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala
there is no obedience to parents there is no obedience to bosses. There is no obedience to spouses. There is no obedience to children. There's no obedience to rulers and governments, if they are ordering you to disobey Allah subhanho wa Taala then Islam orders you to disobey
them, but not to disobey Allah subhanho so please understand that this is the very critical principle of Islam. That is why Allah subhanaw taala said we're in jahad aka Allah and to sharika Bhima la sala Kabir al Falah to clear Homer. Let's say do not obey them, wasa Hey Bahama dounia ma Rafa what tabria sebelah man Ana de la from LA Jamar Jiro calm for hoonah bukhoma, kontum, Tama Lord, Allah said, but if they both strive with you, they try to force you to make you join somebody else in worship with me, others that are which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but behave But still, but still behave with them in the world kindly and follow the path of the one who
turns to me in repentance and in obedience. And the first of them is Rasul. Allah says Allah, and then Lhasa and then to me, will be your return. And I shall tell you what you use to do. This, I mentioned, shirk, specifically, as that is the most serious of disobedience. But it extends to all forms of disobedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And also the lie sort of Selim, my brother and sister, please understand that parents are meant to guide their children, according to the book of Allah and the Sunnah of his messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when they fail to do that, they lose their authority and honor. And then it is not only not permissible for children to
obey them, but it is their duty to disobey them in those matters. In the matters where they want the children to disobey Allah, it becomes the duty of the children, to disobey them, but continue to obey Allah subhanho wa Taala. Parents, also who
want it I talk to you about regard to emotionally blackmailing and try to force children to marry according to the parents likes, not according to the like, of the child,
of the person getting married. The other thing, which I see, in some cases, quite a lot of cases, is the game playing that parents do, where they set one child against another child, where they talk behind their back, they, they favor one child over another child. And the problem with that is very sadly, this creates enmity between brother and brother, brother and sister, sister and sister. And it destroys the family. And the parents seem to do this because of their own internal insecurity. And they feel that somehow there's this psychological feeling that if my children get to get along well together with one another, then they will gang up on us and reject us. And so they they
literally, this sowed the seeds of discord among the children. So the children become each other's enemies and they're busy fighting, and the parents are the puppet masters playing this game. It's a it's a horrible, terrible thing. Right? These are toxic parents, these are parents who are azova children. Please understand Allah subhanaw taala sent parents to guide children to him Jelena
Do not be a parent, where somebody's looking at it may say that this child would have been better off as an orphan. This child the parents should have died with a child was a baby, that child would have been better off rather than being brought up in a home like this, which is full of discard, which is full of all kinds of fit, fit and all kinds of of,
you know, tests and tribulations which have been created by the parents themselves. So it's very important to please understand that, secondly, also the kind of atmosphere in the home, a holla hotel I've seen, atmosphere of such,
you know, jallat, where between the husband and wife if there is a fight this the screaming and raving and ranting and cursing and there is no control on the tongue, that the moment you get angry, you say anything, you cursing
your husband or causing your wife and the children are witness to all of this. Remember, this is what you are inculcating in them as desirable behavior and May Allah forgive you and May Allah forgive them. If they carry this forward, then they are they are going to look at ruined marriages. Because of you.
That is a you brought them up, you brought them up to teach them you taught them that it is okay to abuse your spouse.
Now whoever was doing that, whether it was the husband, abusing the wife or the wife abusing the husband, I have seen both.
I've seen both please understand is is not that the women are always the, at the receiving end of things they're not.
I've seen cases where the women are the are the are gross aggressors,
please understand is Allah Subhana, Allah is watching and Allah will hold you accountable for this behavior. And in that process, you're ruining the children, because you're giving them this kind of this kind of, you know, teaching them this, this is the culture that they're being brought up with.
Also parents indulging in open haram parents who are drinking alcohol, who are playing cards for money, who are going to the races and betting on horses, parents who consider it to be a badge of honor to introduce their child, and make the child a member of this so called exclusive, you know, gambling den and
and and this, you know, the ATA for alcohol, which is your club, you take your child and you make your child, a member of this club and they and you think you're honoring the child with child thinks he's being honored, you think you're doing a great favor to the child, that this child is now a member of this club, please understand those clubs, where you have become a member, a member of a club is a shareholder in that business.
So you are responsible, you are morally responsible for what happens in that business. Now that business is running a bar, that business is buying and selling alcohol, that business is indulging in all kinds of anti Islamic practices in the name of entertainment, in the name of affiliation, in the name of celebrating this and that
and your fee that you're paying the your club fee, your annual fee, the deposit that you pay to the club, the entry fee that you pay to the club, and for exclusive club, this is you know, a considerable amount of money.
All of that is going to fund these activities. Who pays the bill you are paying it
and don't tell me oh but you know I only use the gym I only go to the to the pool doesn't matter what you use or you don't use you are a member and therefore everything that is happening there. You are a shareholder in that responsibility.
And then you take your child and you introduce your child to that and you make your child a member of that club and the child is happy you are happy how stupid is that?
how utterly stupid is that? So also risk club memberships, membership of the box being a steward of the rest club.
You're establishing a gambling den and you are one of the stewards of this gambling den and you are a Muslim law halala Hotel
sitting and playing guards for money you know every every evening in the club.
What happens if you drop dead in that same place?
You will be resurrected on the Day of Judgment with a with a with a glass of whiskey in your hand you will resurrect on the Day of Judgment with video cards in your hand
is that I want to die is that what is that how you want to resurrect it?
This is the atmosphere that you are creating in your home. And this is the atmosphere the culture you are creating as a parent and then you want these children who are you know
Imam Hassan basri the second
the giant must be I must be rambled a second law hotel Oh, how's it going? How is this going to happen? Tell me and then you are very well Oh my God, my child doesn't respect me. But how did your child wants who your child will respect for somebody who's coming to her.
Please understand, Allah subhanaw taala sent you to create a living role model to be living role models for your children. Let your children think of you.
When they are in difficulty, let your theory let your children call you and ask you to make dua for them.
Your child is gonna ask you to make drama and you are drinking alcohol or
they want to charge your child we're gonna find you in in the risk lab and asked you to make dua while you are waiting on horses.
Or when your child may call you and make asked you to make dua because your child remember that you never missed added that every time you're praying that you hamdulillah you're making up god you're doing Vicar of Allah, you are reading Quran and so on and so on. So you are
was born and say Mom, Dad, please this is why I'm in difficulty. This is what I need. Please ask Allah subhanaw taala on my behalf please make dua for me which one is going to happen?
My brothers and sisters please understand this.
Ivanova Allah said
that the only responsibility of the mother is to raise our children to bring up our children. In Islam, the woman the wife has the right
to demand cooked food from her husband husband is supposed to cook for his wife, or give her cooked food.
It's not her job to cook for him and his family.
If she's doing it, she's doing an exam on him.
Taking care of the mother in law, the father in law's not the job of the wife.
Taking care of your parents is your job. It's not her job.
Her she has only one job and that job is raising children raising responsible Muslim children
and you are supposed to support her and you are supposed to pay her and you are supposed to ensure that every need including cooked food is taken care of it's your responsibility. If she is also cooking the food if she is also washing clothes, if she is also taking care of the house, and she's also raising children and she is doing a huge ehsaan on you.
And then if you will treat her
prepared to face Allah subhanho wa Taala on the Day of Judgment.
Now brothers just just children are our investment, or they are our liability.
They can become a source of continuing benefit or continuing grief.
If we did nothing to bring up the child as a Muslim connected to Allah and Allah, with good character and manners, a compassionate human being and a positively contributing citizen of the world than we are culpable before Allah subhanaw taala.
Raising children is not an activity to be outsourced to schools, and daycare centers, or iPads or iPhones or things like that, or gadgets. It is the primary responsibility of the parents primary responsibility, nothing is more important primary responsibility. They can use the schools or whatever resources they have to fulfill that responsibility. But the accountability remains with the parents.
See my book, I've written a book called raising a Muslim child. read that book inshallah.
And that is why it is very painful to see where parents create atmosphere in the home, which is far away from Islam, and then they blame society for being the corrupting influence on their child. So that is not the corrupting influence. You are the corrupting influence. One day somebody asked me, they invited me home, they said, Please speak to our children. They are constantly watching television, the old and they're in front of the TV, please give them a talk. Tell them not to watch television. You know, what do you think I said you absolutely 100% I will really give them this talk and put the fear of God into them that they should not be watching television all the time. Just
tell me which one of them brought the television.
Then which one of these kids brought the television into the house? Tell me I need to speak to that one first. Right? Because if we if that little kid had not brought the television into the house, others couldn't be watching it.
As another father is looking for places to hide.
There's a whole lot more. You bring the television, you buy the television, you bring the television, you stick it in the house, you even call the room television lounge.
Then you pay for a cable connection. You do all of this and what do you think the children are going to sign in front of the television they want to you want them to stand and breathe? How do
you create the whole environment for them for this habitat for them to ruin their lives, just sitting in front of the television watching some rubbish.
Even if they're watching the best program in the world, it's a waste of time because they're not going to do anything about that program.
This watch will course enjoy and God now that hours of time spent
what benefit is that?
Who's responsible? You are responsible? You did you are the one who spent the money who bought it, whatnot, whatnot. And I know people people actually take loans and they pay interest
to get a big you know, 16 inch 18 inch television
haram to do some more hora
please understand that from the story of laquan Ali salam, we are getting advice that is addressed by the father to his son. But the advice is for the father for the sons are the mothers of the daughters. And as they say the child is the father of the man. Meaning that, as is the child, so will be the man is the girl, as is the girl child, so will be the woman which means that if she grows up, when they grew up, that is what they're going to become. so selfish children, which are focused on toys grow into selfish men and women focused on wealth, for which they are willing to sacrifice both relationships and their own action. How many cases do is your family's breaking apart
over division of property, burning up in in mutual jealousy and unable to see the success of their own siblings?
Let us correct ourselves and take heed of what Allah subhanaw taala told us before the day comes when we will be called to account. ask Allah Subhana Allah to be pleased with you and never to be displeased. ask Allah subhanaw taala to enable us to live our lives in a way which will be a means of clear and ongoing Baraka for us and not become a liability for us. Was Allah Allah Allah will carry while he was happy.