Reward is based on the intention

Mirza Yawar Baig


Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

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Welcome to the second class on leaving Islam.

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As we mentioned in the last class, the, if you look at the Sierra,

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club, and if you look at the Macan period,

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it's an absolutely amazing, practically miraculous thing which happened, which is that these people, this small group of people,

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led by Rasul Allah, the Salah, and the group consisted of his companions, the Sahaba, one element by the small group of people went from being the least influential, the worst, the least the weakest, in many cases, the most hated, and so on all the all the negative things, they went from there to becoming leaders and role models for their time

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in one single generation.

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Because if you take the khilafah

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as one of the key points, then over hatanaka, who was the same generation as a solar cell?

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So in one generation, they went from being the least to being the highest. Now, the question, How did that happen?

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And the short answer to that is it happened, because they lived

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as Muslims. It didn't happen because they taught Islam, it didn't happen, because they wrote books, it didn't I mean, I'm not against any of those things. But I'm saying that what happened there was they actually lived Islam, they lived as Muslims.

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Simpler said than done, but that's the reality of the thing. So therefore, what they did was, and that's the assignment I gave you guys, I hope some of some of you have worked on it.

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What that resulted in was that

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they differentiated.

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I mean, as many of you know, I teach leadership. And the thing I say to people, we do a very small exercise, I teach a short course, called the elevator speech. And the pitch we do in the elevator speech is that as you get into the elevator, you hear a shout, somebody says, hold the hold the door, and you stop the elevator and somebody comes in, and you discover that this person, and it's up to you to imagine this person is the president of your company, this person is the absolute key client, potential client of yours, or somebody like that. So somebody that you recognize, who is potentially very powerful, very influential. One decision by that person can literally change your

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life or, you know, send it off into space, really do some wonderful things for you. The question is that the door, the elevator shot, the elevators coming down and evaluate that you are doing this in, you know, in one of the skyscrapers in New York? How long does the elevator take to come down to the 20th? floor? Maybe 15 seconds, maybe 20 seconds? Now, what is it that you can say to that person in 20 seconds, that has the potential to change your life, and that's called the elevator speech. And believe me, 99.999% of the of the people start with their name, which is the worst thing to say, because nobody cares, or damn what your name is.

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And they are highly unlikely to remember your name.

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And the last thing of leasing Tesla, we start with that, because that's the most interest to us.

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So what do you do in an elevator speech? What should you do? And I'm giving you a sort of very quick 10 second course on elevator speech making the thing to do is say something which will make that person ask you who you are.

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Right? So for example, if you are a it geek, if you are a computer program, and you are this this this fantastic guy who knows everything about everything.

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Now, his elevator speech.

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You start off by saying My name is Sean so I am an IT professional, which is the usual way in which most IT professionals introduce themselves. Well, that's big deal. I am an IT professional. That's like saying I'm a grain of rice in a sec.

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You're still right, but you're one grain in a sec.

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On the other hand, if you say,

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if your computer dies, if you see the blue screen

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and you haven't saved any of your data, I can get it all back for you

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know what?

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The student and the professor, but you just told that guy something, believe me, he is never ever going to forget you because the blue screen is the is the face of death.

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And if you haven't saved your data, most of us don't. That blue screen means that you just lost everything you had.

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And I'm now saying to you that I can bring all of that back for you.

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So, instantly the possible civil you know, who I will give me your name give you a contact number I want to be able to get to get hold of you if I ever have this problem, so on and so on.

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That is called differentiation. And that's why I say the key to success in life is differentiation.

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Because differentiation creates brand. Brand inspires loyalty. Loyalty, enables influence.

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If you go to the to the to the to a store, to a grocery store or seven levels something to buy toothpaste. What do you ask for?

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Yes, yes, you weren't stupid.

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Will you go and say, Can you give me a toothpaste? No, exactly. What do you say?

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And then what?

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brand new, right?

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Nobody asked for two pairs. You

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know? If you if you do if you do ask for toothpaste? What's the guy gonna say? Which one?

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I got 20 brand which one? anyway? No, not anymore. I want the brand that I want.

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You go buy a car. What do you do? Supposing I tell you that I am going to war I'm going to buy a car. What's your question?

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Which car

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which isn't logic I mean, come on man. I'm saying you know what?

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I mean, I don't know God. Is there something called aka?

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Seriously, is there something called a car

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there is it

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there is it

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there is a Mercedes there is a BMW there is a Kia there is a you know, whatever, right? Toyota.

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And in that there are some brands. There's no such thing as a car.

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Branding branding is the key to success because brand differentiates brand makes you somebody

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without brand, you are a grain of rice in a sack. Still rice, or 201 grain in a sack. Nobody knows you are born nobody knows you live nobody knows you died. That's it.

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Now why am I seeing all of this in a living Islam class. I'm not giving you a class on branding.

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I'm saying this to earn a living Islam class because this is exactly what we talked about last class when we talked about the hobbies or whatever it was and as Adam said Baba and Islam everyone will say Oh, comma, Baba, Baba. Oh, c'mon kala, a salatu salam he said Islam started as something strange. Now to give it my language Islam started by differentiating.

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If love is love started by branding, as something strange people say what is this?

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And what was the what was the point of differentiation? What is the point of differentiation in the world? Also?

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Have you ever seen anyone differentiating saying, you know what, I'm selling this car and this car is worse than Toyota? It is worse than Mazda? It is worse than something No, no, no, no, it is better than

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it is better than.

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So the point of differentiation always is how am I superior? How am I more beneficial, our my better value for money and so on. And so right. So differentiation Islam started as a brand, Islam started as something which differentiate On what basis

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on the basis of justice on the basis of compassion on the basis of equality on the basis of non discrimination on the basis of human rights.

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All of them under the umbrella of the heat because why are we doing all this? Because we want to please Allah subhanho wa Taala

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which is why

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brings us to today's lesson, which is the heaviness of satara. Delano, where he said I'm an over Amara satara Delano

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Allah memory, Allah sarmento Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in Nevada Malou Binya.

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We're in Nevada equally marine mana wa permanganate Hey, Gerardo. illa dounia you Cebu ha Oh Illa Illa Allah tin Yun ke ha ha for hirato illa ma Maha Jara Isla?

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He said which means? Well, Natasha Delano said, I heard Rasul Allah is also saying, the reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he intended. So, whoever emigrated wherever when he dropped for worldly benefits, or for to marry somebody to marry a woman, his immigration was for the purpose that he emigrated. Now, the point I want to make here is, we started with looking at houses or whatever, we started looking at differentiation and then we came to this how they see how the two are linked, because we said, we differentiate Why do we differentiate because our intention is to please Allah Subhana hota.

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On this point in demand, now, we will have to lay in his book in the Nakajima in the introduction to his book or rather, Sally

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described the intention very beautifully, where he said alleys Harmonia, equally Mr. Wolf, equally awkward, were physically

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al Bariza to what

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he said which means the awareness of the near the awareness of the intention, there is higher meaning to bring it forward. Right to open it to bring it forward. He said the awareness of the near the awareness of the intention frequently Amma in all our deeds, were free, equally acquired in all that we speak for free equally.

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A while in all the conditions that we find ourselves in, I'll Bariza to work Sophie, whether this is visible or whether this is hidden.

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Meaning that everything that we do every action we take, we ask this question, why am I doing this?

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Right? Now?

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What is the benefit of this? If we live like this? One, of course is the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala which is the main

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benefit, the chief benefit? We ask Allah subhanaw taala for this, but take it take it also from a worldly sense. Is there a duty there is a there is a there is a there is a particular benefit in doing something thoughtfully and consciously or not.

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there's a there's a very good book that I recommend that you read. It's called talent is overrated.

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Talent is overrated and the the author is a guy called

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Geoff Colvin GE o FF.

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Right? So, winter book, it's called talent is overrated.

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He makes a very interesting statement he talks about golf.

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And he said there is a difference between hitting 100 balls just like that

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and between hitting 10 balls, but thoughtfully

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very consciously, very thoughtfully, is you're hitting 10 balls thoughtfully and consciously it gives you more benefit than needing 100 balls just like

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that is the point of the near

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the point of the near the point of intention is how does it help me in my life itself?

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Take absolutely anything take public speaking for example.

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Somebody does you come and Please say a few words Please say something?

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Give a give a hobo for Java, you know, got 25 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever.

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How would you do that? Unless you're absolutely clear in your mind.

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What do you need to be clear about? Give me some thoughts with this. You all of you have done I mean, most of you have done code paths. If you haven't spoken at least you've definitely heard. So if you were asked to give up on

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what must do keep in mind, give me some give me some ideas.

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Brother Renata, my topics and saying you are giving the whole back. So what must you keep in mind? If I ask you? What we lose what we do think about and say, I must keep this in mind, but keep the

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audience All right.

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are not good answer, I'm saying i'm not i'm gonna structure I'm saying as a product. I mean, I will just the audience who is speaking to

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you speaking to people who are highly educated.

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I speak to people who are highly technically educated, I will speak supposing you were giving this

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to the Collegium of the Supreme Court, we've got our supreme court judges and lawyers, would you speak to them the same way as for example, if somebody says, please come to our school, we have this, you know, great islamic school, in Windsor in Hartford, please come and address the student gathering? Will you say the same thing?

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Even if the dropping is the same? Will you? Will you put it in the same way? No, if you didn't, you would fail in one in one of those places, either here or there.

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Although what you would be saying would be correct. I mean, it's not as if you would be saying something wrong, you would say something incorrect, but your audience is different.

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And if you are going to address schoolchildren the same way as you are going to be addressing a bunch of Supreme Court judges that one or the other has to wait.

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So the awareness of the near the awareness of the intention is something in this life also, which benefits you hugely in every aspect.

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In our whole life.

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Take for example, as you if you speak, you speak to somebody.

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Before normal conversation, I'm not talking about what I'm saying normal comprehend, sitting around, maybe watching a game or something, or you're sitting around, you're talking about something thought comes in your mind. You ask yourself, why am I

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thinking of saying this?

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What is the purpose of me saying this? For example, you want to talk about somebody?

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Before you talk, you ask yourself, why am I Why do I want to talk about this person? My brother? Hasn't? I want to talk about my brother? Why?

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So immediately, okay, I want to say something good about brother has a of our friendship, it goes back 2022 years. The it's having said where we did something we enjoyed and whatnot hamdullah good, please. But if it is not that if it is the opposite of that?

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They will you still speak? No. Because that amounts are backed by data about so

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if I want to say something critical,

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if I have something critical about brother has been there, who was I speak to?

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To him?

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Not to you.

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If I need to say that, I mean, first of all, do I need to say if I need to say it, then I need to go to him and I need to sit with him and say this is the point this is whatever it was the two of us we talk and we sort that out. But I don't talk about that to somebody else because it amounts to backbiting it amounts to Riba. So when when I become conscious of the intention,

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then it it is a protection for me, it stops me from doing something which is potentially bad.

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So in Albania, then of course, there is an asylum said the the reward of the deed is based on intention.

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You and Allah Subhana Allah will reward and he gave the example he said if the person is making hijra, is moving from one place to another for the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala for the sake of Allah and in and in a B and A Salaam, then he will get the reward of Regina if he's doing it for any other reason. And I will also give two reasons they can be any other reason as well. Then it is not hegira for the sake of Allah and is that he can still do it. He's not saying it is haram. No, but it's not hidden.

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Now how do we in some cases, you can talk about Hitler or maybe you are moving from one country rather but if you are not moving from one country to another, give me an example of Egypt. Can you still make Egypt?

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What would be the good? Can you do it country?

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Yeah, but what would be the movement from

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one community to another? I'm saying if there is no physical movement

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Then can you still naked? Yes.

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All right, from ignorance to knowledge, from his guidance to guidance, from disobedience to obedience is always.

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So I haven't moved anywhere, I'm still here. But I changed my life.

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I used to do some bad stuff, I don't do it anymore, I changed my life. This is from

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a state of disobedience, a state of, you know, potentially angering Allah subhanaw taala, to a state of obedience to Allah to Allah.

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So he's, I can be in this way as well. But that will happen only if there is the intention for that.

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Right? That is something that we need to keep in mind and say that the action the the reward of the action, depends on the

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All right.

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Let me ask you, I'd given this assignment of talking about how does Islam, how does your practice of Islam help you to differentiate

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in your life? So Has anyone done that? Has anyone written anything on it?

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Even if you haven't written anything good, can you talk now something about each other?

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so I didn't prepare anything formal, but just reflecting on the lecture that you gave and how it applies to us individually. So the first thing that we recognize a Muslim differentiate from, like, potentially non Muslims or non practicing is that we practice Islam, just like you said, like, you know, being an Islam scholar and a Muslim scholar are two different things. So one of them is actually studying or gaining knowledge, other one is actually practically applying knowledge. So So as far as our context goes, so if we, so we are blessed

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in having the names of Muslim, gaining tacit knowledge from our parents, but also gaining some active knowledge by participating, but is that knowledge going to be enough to differentiate us not only in this world, but on the eyes of others, one or the other? So So how can we do that we do that by not only acknowledging what we have learned, but also transforming it into our practical actions,

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how we can, and how do we do that, so we need to understand

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the different aspects of our life, just like you mentioned in the previous lecture, like you know, it, it's reflected in the form of a bother is reflected in the form of our interpersonal interactions, it's inflected in the form of our society, in our club. So so we need to identify these different facets of life, to which we are interacting with the community at large. And if we are unable to identify those, then we'll be in a state of ignorance. And while we in doing that, we need to keep the heat or the fear of Allah salon or the love for of Salaam, Allah that we have, that will be held accountable in each of these interactions that we make indifferent to different modes

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of communication. And and we have to practice discipline and those interactions, we need to make sure that we practice justice in those interactions.

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Not only to want the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala, rather than to work the Wrath of Allah subhanaw taala. And in how do we do that, by him by reading Quran and by following the footsteps apart from almost all of them and all the Sahaba like now how they displayed away the concept of slavery and how they eliminated

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the racial discrimination by raising the ranks of a so called perceived slaves like lalvin

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by making him rise to the top of Kaaba and give a damn. So those were some examples and how

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Prophet sallallahu wasallam eliminated the differentiation between

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between the people of higher stature and those who are not by giving the example of that lady

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from one of the clans of koresh for richer or some admin, as I've had to come and request only because of the fear of the community that he may be held accountable by such a strong plan. So he gave an example that, that even if my daughter Fatima was in her place, that would have given her the same capital punishment or

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so so these are some reflection that you know, that we, that whatever was applicable at that point.

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Time is applicable at this point in time, specifically, because people at that time also at that time was fingers. And so are we in this time constraint?

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Which practice were

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supposed to be, but still the concept of a law and the

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topic was what it make difference in your life? Yeah. So even the law law is the law, mother in law, whatever situation are Muslims, still, I do believe when we compared our own society around us, the law, we are full of the bow, every situation we get, every difficulty becomes, we know

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we have somebody to take care of, or take care for us. So

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it seems like most of the communities around here,

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when they grew up, or when they fall into certain situations, they are very much depress. They don't know really what to do. And I mean, we don't practice as much as code. But still, at the end, we fall on that criteria. We think it's cool, and you have acceptance.

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I believe that makes a huge difference. Yes.

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It seems like, at least, we need to practice. All of us need to practice more about that. But I do like

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the fact that we believe that Allah Subhana Allah is in control, and we have the understanding of Allah, this is the

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very source of comfort.

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Anywhere else? How does Islam? Yes, pieces, I found today was a good example, where I work on the only Muslim where I work, and we're talking about me. And we're saying, What's your favorite kind of hamburger and I said, I wanted to try the impossible burger that's vegetarian. And we've gotten to about Hello, me. And it fits in very much with today's issues. Because when meatless allow, the animal is treated with kindness, we don't eat as much meat like the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, Don't overdo eating beef. And it's it fits in with the environment. So people listen to that. And there's several people that I've worked with want to try.

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fits into me today. So you because you are differentiating on that basis, it makes sense to other people, even though the other people don't follow your faith, it doesn't matter what you think still make sense to them. You still make sense to

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anyone else? How does differentiating on the basis of Islam? How does that make me?

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How does it give me a benefit?

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work time

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taking time to

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gives you comfort that in a way that what has blessed you with so many landmarks, that you are being thankful to him during the daytime as what you see around you that not a lot of them have been doing that thing. But they do visit every Sunday or Friday point of view. But you do take time even though it is like few minutes out of your time. But thinking that Oh, don't be too late in the project. It really does not happen

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to you, this is a word that is coming to you.

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So differentiating on the basis of Islam see the point, my point I'm making here is think about this.

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And this has happened to all of us at some point in time. You go to a place and suddenly you find there is no signal.

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There is no Wi Fi there is no signal. Your phone doesn't work. Right. How do you feel?

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I know some of you want to say Oh, that's a great great relief. But you know, don't tell lies not

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all of us feel like some you know my some major loss has happened or how can I survive like this right?

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There's some level of discomfort there's some sense of loss. For some people it will drive you Berserk because other people it may not do that. But you still feel something Why? Because that phone ultimately is beneficial.

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No matter how much how much you want to know more about it but end of the day it is beneficial.

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Now think about this.

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If tomorrow morning the world wakes up and there are

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No Muslims.

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No Muslim girl got vaporized.

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No Islam, no Muslims, no signs of Muslims, no massages, no mother is no dorms no manners, no nothing. No calling, no halal meat. No, there is no sign of Muslims whatsoever on the face of the planet. people wake up in the morning and they're all gone.

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What do you think they are going to say?

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I'm not saying one or the other.

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I'm only asking a neutral question. What do you think? People who are not Muslim? What do you think they are going to say?

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When they say, Oh, my God, where did they go? These are beautiful people. I mean, how are we going to live without Muslims?

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Where did they go bring them back?

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Or are they going to say, thank god they're gone?

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Or what is likely, is they're going to say,

00:31:03--> 00:31:04

you know,

00:31:05--> 00:31:10

I am very sorry. That is selling by is not there anymore.

00:31:12--> 00:31:16

I'm very sorry. That one of our bus is not there anymore.

00:31:17--> 00:31:23

But Muslims itself. Good. They're gone. But you know, he was Iceman I mean, this guy who was my neighbor.

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I used to go meet him and so on. He was very helpful.

00:31:28--> 00:31:36

This by Nabeel, I mean, he always stood up for me, I'm sorry, he's not there anymore. But generally as Muslims, as bad, I don't care good.

00:31:38--> 00:31:40

Which one of these three scenarios? What do you think?

00:31:44--> 00:31:45

You know what I'm saying?

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That is? How does me if I'm a doctor,

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there are 20 doctors, I'm Muslim Doctor, how does my Islam make me a better medical doctor, better medical practitioner?

00:32:01--> 00:32:09

Not talking about the technology part of it? I'm saying, as a Muslim, what makes me a better not a better Muslim, a better doctor.

00:32:11--> 00:32:15

If I'm a builder, as a Muslim, what makes me a better builder?

00:32:18--> 00:32:34

If I'm a teacher, as a Muslim, what makes me a better teacher? If I'm a parent, as a Muslim, what makes me a better parent? How does how does being a Muslim make for better parenting?

00:32:35--> 00:32:37

Should it or shouldn't? Or should not? What do you think?

00:32:39--> 00:32:39

Should right? I mean,

00:32:41--> 00:32:43

that's a no brainer, it should, but does it?

00:32:45--> 00:32:54

If I have a whole bunch of, you know, I do this exercise, we will do some parenting and all those workshops here. But one of the things, let me give you this this thing beforehand.

00:32:55--> 00:33:01

I asked this question in all teaching, or teacher training workshops, and in all parenting workshops.

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I tell people, I say, think of your role model.

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And I tell them don't say rissalah? Because that's not true. Right? If that was the case, then you and I wouldn't be where we are. Think of a real life role model somebody you know, personally, that has a will have you thought about that?

00:33:22--> 00:33:27

I've asked you guys, have you thought about that is not right. Okay. That doesn't mean for harmony view? Is it a parent, show of hands?

00:33:34--> 00:33:54

And then data teach emotionalism? How many of you did a teacher Saw that? And then ask another question. And I say that if your children were sitting here, meaning your biological children, or if you are a teacher with children who teach if they were sitting here and if I asked the same question, would they be thinking of you as a robot?

00:33:57--> 00:34:01

I don't know. You will tell me I mean, yes or no, whatever.

00:34:02--> 00:34:08

My experience of doing these kinds of workshops in multiple countries, literally on three continents.

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I've never had more than 5% of the audience put up their hands,

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tells me two things, one, that people are honest.

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And two, that for 95% of the population.

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Neither a parent nor a teacher is a role model.

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So what is the differentiation?

00:34:37--> 00:34:41

That's the reason why differentiation is important. That's what Islam has do for us.

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Islam has made us natural role models, not just for our children and so on for children. Yes, obviously, because the maximum face time is with them,

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but for the world.

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And on the basis of Islam, I'm not saying on the basis of anything at all, the best people might say or this person

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I look out to that person because that person is a Muslim.

00:35:04--> 00:35:07

That's what happened with rasulillah salam. And that's what happened with this hour.

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They did things which normal people didn't do.

00:35:14--> 00:35:23

And all the positive things I've done, I'm not saying to some freaky thing that nobody does. And then you start out on the basis that, no, I'm talking about things which are of real value.

00:35:27--> 00:35:29

I was looking at the earnings of YouTubers.

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And I find if I remember the numbers correctly, the highest earning youtuber gets $10,000 per second

00:35:43--> 00:35:57

for his YouTube videos, and that's a passive warning, and it just keeps coming up. So I said, Let me see what what is it that he teaches? $10,000 per second is a lot of money, right? I mean, I'd love to get something like that. So I said, well, let's see, what is he doing? What's he teaching? You know what he's doing?

00:35:58--> 00:36:04

He is commenting on computer games, using profanity.

00:36:05--> 00:36:12

That's it. He's commenting on the games and using he's using a lot of vulgar language. That's it.

00:36:14--> 00:36:20

And he gets that kind of money, because that that is the the trend of the world people like that.

00:36:21--> 00:36:23

How does it get like that.

00:36:26--> 00:36:37

So if you as a parent, if you are a teacher, if you as a as a friend, as you as a doctor as a, and so on. So what if you don't want to stand out on the basis of Islam and become role models, somebody has to go to that place.

00:36:39--> 00:36:51

Leadership, there is no such thing as a vacuum of leadership. The moment there is a vacuum, some some thing will occupy that space. So if you don't want to occupy that space, then you are leaving that space open for something else.

00:36:52--> 00:37:05

And that's what's happened. That is what is globally speaking, that's what happened to the world in La shala. There are exceptions that are part of that. But globally speaking, there is what's happened to the world, the vacuum of leadership has been occupied by evil.

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And that's the challenge. The challenge is, are you ready to take that space?

00:37:15--> 00:37:22

To take back that space, on the basis of Islam, by spreading goodness around us, because that's what we are supposed to do.

00:37:26--> 00:37:49

So we looked at two of these, we looked at the hobbies of the warmer weather, we sort of talked about differentiating about Islam started with something strange, it will go back to being seen as strange because he's predicting a world where these things, justice and compassion and courage and, you know, nobility and so on, will be seen as strange things because you don't see too much of that.

00:37:50--> 00:38:01

And the other is, how do we get there by monitoring our actions based on our needs? By looking at our intention and saying, Why am I doing what I'm doing?

00:38:03--> 00:38:15

And the single point of reference is the beauty of this religion, which I always liked, because it's so simple, it is not complex, it is not complicated. It's very simple. One single point of reference, does it please Allah, fellas

00:38:16--> 00:38:20

and that's the power of the Sunnah. Because if we are on the sooner,

00:38:21--> 00:38:33

then we know that it pleases Allah. Because whatever as soon as reasonably, please Allah Subhana, Allah, whatever pleased Allah is water, Surah Surah suddenly, so if I,

00:38:34--> 00:38:53

if I model my life on the life of the Prophet sallahu wa salam, and I say that I will do whatever he did, and if he did not do something, I will not do it, then I am on absolutely safe ground, I can be absolutely certain that all that I'm saying and doing will please Allah because this is what the prophet sallallaahu salam did.

00:38:57--> 00:39:20

This is why these two classes which we have, they also are linked together because the first class on Mondays is about to Syrah, which is soda. And the second class here is about leaving Islam, which is again, putting this into practice and just getting us up because Abdullah, you all come for the classes. So there is a there's a link also between the two classes. Right? You ask Allah subhanaw taala generado, to be pleased with all of you,

00:39:21--> 00:39:59

to help you to live and practice Islam, to help you to differentiate on the basis of Islam, to help you to become standard bearers of Islam, to help you become beacons of light of guidance of Islam in the sea of darkness that surrounds the world. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to help you in every way possible, from sources that you cannot imagine. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to protect you from all forms of evil, and from all threats that you know and that you don't know. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala general to keep you in absolute perfect state of health.

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And of safety and security and our prosperity until the last day, when it is the when it is time for you to meet him.

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And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make that last day, the best day of your life, and the last of your actions, the best of your actions. And the day one which allows Mandela to be the best possible day of our lives was very while he was abused by the rmsea