Living Islam – Raising a Muslim Child #17

Mirza Yawar Baig

Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

Series:

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:22

datamodel 100 a little bit out I mean, what's another whatsoever I should have Lumby will mousseline Muhammad Rasool Allah, Allah Allah it already was at the seller doesn't even consider on cathedra from Nevada why rather than distance, and hamdulillah della br, in the class of our lectures on raising a Muslim child.

00:00:25--> 00:00:26

I know it sounds like an,

00:00:27--> 00:00:28

you know, like, like an old

00:00:30--> 00:00:31

saying, but

00:00:32--> 00:00:49

this is quite critically, and quite seriously, the most important thing that you as a Muslim parent will ever do. And which is to raise your child to be a good practicing Muslim human being.

00:00:51--> 00:00:57

I think this is the the most important thing. And I want to say that it begins with the definition of it. So

00:00:58--> 00:01:14

learn to define this for yourself, and don't even say that I want my child to be successful, I want my child to be this and wealthy and learned and knowledgeable and whatnot. See, I want my child to be a good practicing Muslim human being.

00:01:16--> 00:01:58

If your child is this, if your child grows up to be a good practicing Muslim human being that child automatically be successful and everything else. But if you look at success, meaning material wealth, if you look at knowledge, meaning learning, and so on, believe me, that route is full of traps. And there have been, and there will continue to be some very evil people who are both wealthy and who are very knowledgeable, including being extremely knowledgeable about Islam. I don't have to tell you, but you can do the research for yourself and see that every major fitrah every major crisis,

00:01:59--> 00:02:00

of faith in Islam,

00:02:02--> 00:02:09

came because of and was raised by and was created by a very knowledgeable,

00:02:11--> 00:02:25

a very learned, Muslim scholar. And I don't think I'm exaggerating by saying that by a male scholar, I don't think we went to this kind of stuff. It's the men who have always done it

00:02:27--> 00:02:37

from fabricating Hadees to something things which are even more serious, may Allah protect us and may Allah not

00:02:38--> 00:02:42

May Allah protect us from having our children doing things like that.

00:02:43--> 00:02:58

And the way to do our bit to ensure that we have this protection of Allah's Vannatta is to pay attention to the raising of our children, and to spend the time and the energy and the

00:03:01--> 00:03:10

and the attention that it needs to raise a good practicing Muslims, human being as a child,

00:03:12--> 00:03:13

we come to the

00:03:14--> 00:03:44

we were talking about different things of what should be important and let me talk about this, which is one of the most important things or the most important thing which is the whole concept of giving to the world. Allah subhanaw taala sent us to give blood did not send us to take, whether it is giving materially whether it has given giving intellectually, whether it is giving morally, whether it is giving in the context of

00:03:45--> 00:03:46

of

00:03:49--> 00:04:43

any non material way, Allah subhanaw taala sent us, the Muslims with an ideal way of life, in order that we practice it, and that we give it to the rest of the world. We came as mind leaders we came as thoughts to errors. We came as people to teach the world how to live. We did not come to learn from the world how to live. Unfortunately, we have turned our own destiny upside down on its head. And that is a very bad idea. Children must be taught the value of service. They must endure hardship. And they must learn that for some people, air conditioning and cars and unlimited hot and cold running water and fridges and freezers bursting at the seams and clean sheets on a soft bed are

00:04:43--> 00:04:44

not even novelties

00:04:45--> 00:04:59

because the novelty is something that you do have, even if only occasionally. But those people still live and love and play. Children must be taught the value of compassion and courage and serve

00:05:00--> 00:05:23

As they must be allowed to experience the joy of sharing, of giving, and then seeing the light of disbelieving delight in the eyes of the receiver, nothing but nothing compares with the joy of giving something to someone who did not even dream of ever getting it. Children must be taught that to give someone

00:05:24--> 00:05:34

what you don't really want is still good, but not as appreciable as giving away something that you love, because someone else needs it more.

00:05:36--> 00:05:39

This demonstrates a higher level of care and concern.

00:05:41--> 00:05:55

For example, a teacher for example, for a teenager to volunteer to spend time with all people religion or not, is to give away his or her time, which may not have any monetary value, but which is something that is very dear to young people.

00:05:58--> 00:06:16

This and other such activities must be encouraged and appreciated. Not by giving money in exchange, but by talking to the child and asking what they believe they gained from that experience, and this action and it's only when they learn to take pleasure in giving

00:06:18--> 00:06:21

in and of itself, that it becomes sustainable.

00:06:23--> 00:06:31

The reason why Allah subhanaw taala himself said about getting close to him about the position and the data and the

00:06:33--> 00:07:07

the level of unbuilt ALLAH SubhanA data said length unallowed Billa don't feel me to hit boo mama don't feel woman che in for in Allah hobby I leave. And let's run it that I said that you cannot reach the level of Bill you cannot reach the level of the will of Allah subhanaw taala you cannot reach the level of the closeness to Allah subhanaw taala until you spend in the path of Allah subhanaw taala me mother had bone that which you love the most. Please notice Allah is not saying until you give charity until you

00:07:08--> 00:07:27

give something which is surplus. Allah is not saying until a general statement of giving, which is also which is also very good which would give but unless not making a general statement, Allah subhanaw taala is making a very specific statement. I'm not saying until you give that which you love the most.

00:07:28--> 00:07:44

To give that which you love the most means to give until it hurts. And when it hurts to know that the reason it hurts is because somewhere somehow, the love for what you are giving is more than the love for the one to whom you are giving it

00:07:46--> 00:07:59

or in whose name you're giving it. So we make a stefarr Even after giving the must make and seek the protection of Allah and and repent and seek the forgiveness of Allah subhanaw taala even after we give

00:08:00--> 00:08:25

to give is a power that is given in the hands of those who have resources and who must learn that they actually hoard these resources of others in trust to be delivered on call when they need. Those who use these resources for themselves, without any concern for others are really violating that their trust and for which they will be held accountable.

00:08:26--> 00:08:46

This is the concept of Amana, which is the essence of Islam. Eman is an Amana to be conveyed. So our resources to pass on benefits to others only for the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala. Islam didn't come for us to hold it. Islam didn't come for us to keep it for ourselves.

00:08:48--> 00:08:55

Islam didn't come for us to just even to hold it and keep it for ourselves and just say Oh, give it you know, I'm doing this thing. I will go to Ghana. No.

00:08:56--> 00:09:12

I do not say whether you will go to Ghana or not. I'm saying that. That is not the reason why Islam came. Islam came for us to practice for the simple reason that people do not care what you say until they see what you do. People listen with their eyes. They don't listen with the ears. They listen to the eyes.

00:09:13--> 00:09:23

They don't care what you say until they see what you do. Therefore Islam came for us to practice in order that when people look at us they see Islam in Iraq in practice.

00:09:26--> 00:09:34

And then Islam came for us to convey it for us to give it to the people and say this is your trust this is belongs to you please take it.

00:09:36--> 00:09:42

Muslim children must be taught that that with Allah subhanho data the only consideration is piety.

00:09:44--> 00:09:56

If nothing else, not possession, not the color of your skin, not your nationality. Not whether you are our non Arab or not your wealth and possessions. Know that

00:09:58--> 00:09:59

wealth and possessions

00:10:02--> 00:10:04

Your status, your

00:10:05--> 00:10:07

social level,

00:10:09--> 00:10:12

Power Authority all of these are tests

00:10:14--> 00:10:15

to see how we act

00:10:19--> 00:10:22

on those around them identity Euro Allah said which means all mankind

00:10:24--> 00:10:28

We have created you from a male and a female

00:10:30--> 00:10:34

your nurse in color black woman, Zachary Monza,

00:10:39--> 00:10:40

Min kabbah Illa,

00:10:41--> 00:10:42

Lita,

00:10:44--> 00:11:12

Jana Jana, Jana ko Shu overwork our ADA, theta alpha in a Karma Komenda la have Koco Allah said all mankind We have created you from a male and a female that is otherworldly Salah and our mother, Hawala, Isa, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another, that you may recognize one another, that you may appreciate one another, not so that you may discriminate against one another. Not so that you become a racist,

00:11:13--> 00:11:35

that you appreciate. And you look and you recognize one another, very the most honorable of you with ALLAH SubhanA hotel is that believer who has the most taqwa in Cracow in the light at the clock, the one who has the most Taqwa Verily, Allah subhanho wa Taala is all knowing, all aware.

00:11:37--> 00:11:38

My brothers sisters,

00:11:39--> 00:11:41

we must teach children the value

00:11:42--> 00:11:47

of the best investment of them all, which is the investment with Allah.

00:11:50--> 00:11:58

An investment that will not only earn them a return as long as they live, but a return that will continue long after their debt.

00:12:01--> 00:12:05

And remember, there's only one way to teach. And that is by doing it yourself.

00:12:06--> 00:12:10

It's when they see you doing it, that they will learn to do it.

00:12:11--> 00:12:28

Teach them also that this return is the highest of any return in this world. For it ranges from one is to 10 to one is to 700 to a return without account, or you will live will be my year sha Allah data set and Allah will increase it as he wants.

00:12:29--> 00:12:38

And finally, we must teach them that this return is the surest of all because it is guaranteed by Allah Subhana Allah data himself.

00:12:39--> 00:12:41

Now what can be more certain than that?

00:12:44--> 00:13:04

Unless around that I've made this beautiful statement and sort of the buckeyes that who is Eve that will learn to Allah subhanaw taala a goodly loan CARDONE has on it, so that he may have multiplied for him many times. And it is Allah subhanaw taala that decreases or increases your permissions. And unto Him you shall return.

00:13:06--> 00:13:13

We need to sit, and we need to reflect. And we need to understand the meanings of these words.

00:13:14--> 00:13:31

And by understanding I don't mean the translation, this is the biggest problem we think when we say understand you understand yes, I use a translation that's not an understanding, that's a translation. Understanding is to have it sink into our consciousness into our mind into our hearts.

00:13:33--> 00:13:36

Where it becomes part of our being.

00:13:39--> 00:13:57

Finally, the most important duty that of conveying Islam to others, once again, demonstrate by example, both the importance of doing it, as well as the way to do it. Children must be taught the power of demonstrating the power of Dawa to personal example, because there is no other way.

00:13:58--> 00:14:08

They must be taught to practice Islam completely with confidence in terms of their dressing, their manners, their dealings, what they will say and see and do.

00:14:10--> 00:14:12

I think of other people,

00:14:14--> 00:14:15

some of our neighbors

00:14:16--> 00:14:21

for example, people authorized Jewish people if you see the way they dress,

00:14:23--> 00:14:28

it was the the kind of ads and so on and so forth. They were in the ringlets long locks legs.

00:14:29--> 00:14:37

from little children talk to older people, they all wear those clothes and they wear those dresses with confidence and pride.

00:14:39--> 00:14:48

People will look at them may think they may they may think it looks peculiar. They may think whatever the thing it doesn't matter. Because this is their identity and they are proud of their

00:14:49--> 00:14:57

brand practicing Sikhs will never shave their beards and they will never cut their hair. The long hair is in a tub on top of the heads.

00:14:58--> 00:14:59

And it looks so good.

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

impressive

00:15:03--> 00:15:04

right?

00:15:05--> 00:15:07

People who are vegetarian

00:15:08--> 00:15:08

or vegan,

00:15:10--> 00:15:14

they will never eat meat. People who are vegan, don't even eat any animal products.

00:15:16--> 00:15:21

People who are committed to what they believe in,

00:15:22--> 00:15:24

and not afraid to practice it.

00:15:25--> 00:15:41

So if we, as Muslims are afraid to practice some things out of Islam, we need to ask ourselves this question and say how committed Am I to the way of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam,

00:15:42--> 00:15:45

truly how committed Am I to Islam

00:15:53--> 00:16:01

children therefore must be taught to practice Islam completely, and with confidence in every aspect of their lives.

00:16:03--> 00:16:03

And remember,

00:16:04--> 00:16:08

their manners, their dealings, what they will say,

00:16:09--> 00:16:12

how they talk to people, how they behave, all of these

00:16:14--> 00:16:37

ways of giving Tao of Islam, there was none the others watch them, and that if people appreciate them, then they will be drawn to Islam. Children must be taught the power of politeness and kindness, of smiling and being agreeable. They must understand that before one can talk about Allah to anyone else, it is essential to first win their hearts.

00:16:38--> 00:16:45

If people don't even like you, they are hardly likely to listen to you. And to listen to what you have to say about religion.

00:16:46--> 00:16:53

People tend to associate religion with the practitioner, and quite rightly so and accept or reject both together.

00:16:55--> 00:17:01

So it's not that they will reject you and accept Islam, they will reject you and Islam, or they will accept you and Islam.

00:17:02--> 00:17:10

People tend to add unnecessary therefore to spend quality time and pay close attention to the religious education of children. Once again,

00:17:12--> 00:17:27

by religious education, I don't mean simply memorizing some ayat and Surah Surah of the Quran, and the rules and do's and don'ts. All of those are important they must be done, but religious education as in understanding as in

00:17:28--> 00:17:54

imbibing the whole culture and value and and flavor of Islam in our lives. If a child, if a child doesn't even know his own religion properly, how can he or she convey it to anybody else. Yet, it is common to see Muslim parents spend huge amounts of money and time on their children's worldly education, and treat religious education as a necessary nuisance at best.

00:17:55--> 00:18:01

There is no sense of shame that the grown child cannot even read the Quran fluently,

00:18:02--> 00:18:03

or lead Salah comfortably.

00:18:05--> 00:18:15

guidance can only come with correct knowledge. And it is the parents primary responsibility to ensure that the children are properly educated in Islam.

00:18:16--> 00:18:27

primary responsibilities not not not one of them the most important responsibility because that's the one for which they will be questioned and punished, they're bound to be negligent.

00:18:28--> 00:18:31

And therefore it's very high time we pay attention to this.

00:18:32--> 00:18:45

In conclusion, I want to say that the biggest challenge of parenting is to accept that we are facing a world that is very different from the one that we grew up in. And so while every single day I live

00:18:46--> 00:18:50

this particular matter becomes more and more clear and more and more stark.

00:18:52--> 00:19:06

And this is true, irrespective of which country you live in. With the additional complexity of a rapid destruction of walls between cultures. The truth is that your solutions don't work today. And your children know this better than anyone else.

00:19:08--> 00:19:13

Yet, you still have the challenge to inspire them and support them and teach them

00:19:15--> 00:19:18

your challenges to prepare them for a world that you know nothing about.

00:19:20--> 00:19:29

This can be seen as positive or negative, depending on your point of view, but one thing is certain and that is it will not leave you it will not leave you untouched.

00:19:30--> 00:19:36

The major global challenges that we face now are the first is information exchange.

00:19:37--> 00:19:43

Many thanks mainly to the internet, and Global TV channels. We are in an information overload phase.

00:19:44--> 00:19:59

We don't suffer from lack of information but from a surfeit of it. Too much information easily available at the click of a mouse. What is missing is the ability to deserve to Sif and to pick the nuggets. What is missing is

00:20:00--> 00:20:43

ability to know what to do with what we read or see. What is missing is the ability to connect the dots to complete the picture. What is missing is the ability to recognize the reality to put things in perspective, so that we can differentiate between real information and propaganda. What is missing is the ability to respond positively and powerfully to ensure that the dissenting voice is also heard in the cacophony of the dominant discourse. Easy Information Exchange has also Lord and in many cases, wiped out the entry barriers into technologies and business areas. This opens new opportunities for entrepreneurs, provided they know how to use them.

00:20:46--> 00:21:10

It is a challenge for parents to guide their children in ways that enable them not only to make sense of what they see and read, but to actually leverage it for themselves and others. The information exchange also has a darker side, that every evil that happens in the world gets instant limelight. The conspicuous self, the conscious self, not because because the conscious self is bombarded daily

00:21:11--> 00:21:17

with images which at one time would have sent us in a depression. But today, they leave us untouched and unmoved.

00:21:19--> 00:21:24

This desensitization of the heart and the deadening of compassion, make the horrific mundane.

00:21:25--> 00:22:08

And this is the result of constant exposure to cruelty, oppression and bloodshed. Like the nurse in the operating theatre, or the butcher in the abattoir, the sight of another suffering leaves us untouched. The setup Asana, he used to be very concerned with exposing themselves to things that harden the heart, most of us added on to that is to say that one should not mention death while eating because of the heart is not dead, and then you will not be able to eat. And if you are able to eat then it means that and it will become evident to everybody that your heart is dead. I don't think we bother with such niceties anymore because the condition of our hearts is apparently not of

00:22:08--> 00:22:10

any consequence to us.

00:22:11--> 00:22:20

The challenge that parents have is to guide children such that their hearts don't harden and to show them how they can help those in need.

00:22:21--> 00:22:31

Hidden in this is also the real danger of the radicalization of youth. And they're and they're falling into the trap of those who seek to recruit them. For cannon fodder.

00:22:32--> 00:22:52

It is our job is to help them to retain perspective, show them how they can positively contribute and stay away from all extremist positions. But to do all that, we need to check what state our own hearts are in for only the scene and guide the blind. The blind cannot go into blind.

00:22:54--> 00:22:58

The second challenge is technology is that technology empowers and threatens.

00:23:01--> 00:23:08

And that is like rain. It's part of our lives. Technology is part of our lives. You either get wet or you learn to use an umbrella.

00:23:09--> 00:23:45

The smartphone, the computer social networking and the ever present Google, Google Maps automatically gives me driving directions to the masses on Fridays whether or not asked for them. It tells me it tells me if a flight that I booked on is late or not. It even tells me when I need to leave for the airport. Even when I've not asked for this information or informed Google about my present location. It knows without being told. So how difficult is it to believe that Allah subhanaw taala developer who created the creator of Google and his brain also knows, technology takes away the drudgery and the monotony.

00:23:46--> 00:23:53

It adds value and makes life easy when the same time it decreases it increases distraction

00:23:54--> 00:24:04

and creates a false sense of satisfaction and speed. People feel satisfied with posting likes on Facebook, and making favorites on Twitter, as if they actually accomplish anything.

00:24:06--> 00:24:24

They forget that a million likes. Don't put a piece of bread into the mouth or the starving giant, or save it from the bullet or saliva. Instant gratification. The most dominant side of an image or intellect is one of the legacies of technology albeit in an unintentional

00:24:25--> 00:24:48

we forget that if you want results, you have to work very hard at the right things, not merely click a mouse or tap it or three. This results in unjustified frustration. And the millennial personality is born people who are literally disinterested in the future. What can you hope for with respect to creating a legacy for those whose main interest is the next sensation?

00:24:49--> 00:24:59

We have a mentality that always seeks more and more excitement. Steve Irwin of Crocodile Hunter fame is a good example of this and is the unmet unwitting result the unwitting

00:25:00--> 00:25:06

victims taking closer and closer chances with dangerous animals until one day, the inevitable happened.

00:25:07--> 00:25:25

But the result is that today, if you want to make an animal encounter, so until you can put your head into lion's mouth and obviously come out alive, the producer won't even look at you. And the value of doing that? Well, when you measure everything in terms of TRP ratings, that's perfectly clear, isn't it?

00:25:27--> 00:25:33

speed of response that technology enables, is both a competitive advantage and a threat.

00:25:34--> 00:26:01

Our own response to events has to be hugely faster than what our parents needed to be, because every event is instantly global news. The repercussions of the thoughtless word are also serious, and in some cases, very severe. But what remains constant is that artificial intelligence is not the same as natural. And technology doesn't replace wisdom, we still need the human intellect to interpret the event and

00:26:02--> 00:26:03

color

00:26:04--> 00:26:07

the picture to see the whole scene.

00:26:09--> 00:26:24

The next one is cultural influence. As I mentioned, the influence of other countries is so invasive and powerful than merely trying to guard against it by prohibiting TV is futile. Just try this anywhere practically anywhere in the world, ask a child or ask even and older person

00:26:26--> 00:26:35

not by generation, but next generation under 40. Say hello and as you How are you, they will say good, they will say I am good.

00:26:36--> 00:26:49

I am good is even grammatically incorrect. Because good. Is an assessment good is an opinion it is not how you are how are you reversed your health. So you can say I'm well or I'm sick.

00:26:50--> 00:27:06

But whether I'm good or bad is somebody's opinion about me. It is not my state. It is somebody's opinion about me. So how can I say I'm good. But this is the American culture which has gone now global.

00:27:07--> 00:27:41

And people who have never seen America and probably will never see America in their own lives. If you ask them how are you doing? I'm good. And I tell them I said this is even English. In terms of English language, it is wrong forget about anything else. But that is the power of invasive cultures. Children are exposed to other cultures all through the day. What needs to be done is to demonstrate to them the value of our culture of the Muslim culture, the Islamic culture, not the Arab culture, the Indian culture, the South African culture is a Muslim Islamic culture, the way of Rasul Allah is on Sunday and the Sunnah of the Habib of ALLAH SubhanA hotel.

00:27:43--> 00:28:13

And to expose them to our culture in such a way as to enable them to take pride in it, be confident in it, while still respecting other cultures, you're not looking at, you're not talking about criticizing or looking down or other culture is saying, How can I be confident about my culture while respecting the other cuts I do, I convert my my culture, I respect the other culture, I don't give up by culture by anybody else. This is essential because the usual approach of running down everything because it creates walls, and doesn't promote cross cultural understanding.

00:28:15--> 00:28:30

We have We are great at this. We laugh at other cultures, we criticize them, which is very stupid. We weren't, we should appreciate them. We shouldn't be we shouldn't be grateful that Allah has given us an opportunity to understand other people, but we are confident about our culture, how to learn without becoming judgmental,

00:28:31--> 00:28:39

while retaining our own sense of right or wrong. This is a complex issue, and something that needs to be learned before one can teach it.

00:28:41--> 00:29:03

The most critical the most critical part of this is to retain an open mind. While being clear about the boundaries of Islam, one must be confident without becoming bigoted. This is critical to presenting Islam also because you can't present an alternative perspective without understanding and respecting the perspective of your partner. The modern world has also created

00:29:06--> 00:29:07

myriad

00:29:09--> 00:29:21

new career options and career opportunities, which inshallah we'll talk about in the next class, because that is a challenge, a new challenge in itself, as well as Randal della della della who

00:29:23--> 00:29:36

to enable us to raise children, who will be a means of higher and baraka for us in this dunya will occur because this is the the essence of

00:29:38--> 00:29:54

of Islam, that we must have children begin to understand that children are our legacy. Children are not incidental thing we just happens in general accidents, even if they are accidents.

00:29:55--> 00:29:59

The key issue is to ensure and treat them as our legacy

00:30:00--> 00:30:04

and therefore, they deserve attention. They deserve our time they deserve our

00:30:06--> 00:30:10

there is a there is a focus and therefore we must appreciate them

00:30:11--> 00:30:16

by ensuring that we devote to them quality time

00:30:23--> 00:30:26

was on a loan while early he was I remember having to go

00:30:27--> 00:30:28

after Labor