Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
Series: Mirza Yawar Baig - Living Islam
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A lot of anger here and hungry later on behind. I mean
salatu salam ala Shafi lambier Evil mursaleen Muhammad Rasul Allah is among the highly he wrote it, he will save you send up, doesn't even cathedral cathedral. And by the way brothers and sisters, we are on the
series on Obata Radha, the Federal
khutbah of rasool Allah Azza wa sallam. And we were talking about what kind of role models we want to be. I even myself renew that,
especially if you are a parent. But also, if you're and if you're a teacher to two things, that if you are a parent, or you are a teacher.
And of course, this applies also to practically everything else, but especially to parents and teachers. Remember, you are a role model anyway. It doesn't matter whether you want to be a role model or not, you are one,
you're your choice. And you're the question that you need to ask yourself, and I need to ask myself, what kind of role model do I want to be? Do I want to be a role model? About whom when my student thinks, or my child thinks about me, says Al Hamdulillah, that Allah gave me such a role model? Or do you want to be somebody who, when your student or your child, or anyone who came into contact with you thinks about this stuff Allah? That is our choice, right? Which one do you want to be? Do you want to be somebody who's passing is regretted, and they make dua for you, and your forgiveness, or your passing is a day of celebration, as far as they're concerned, thank God is gone.
And therefore, it's very important to keep this in mind constantly. as I as I keep reminding myself, I'm telling you as well, which is that it is not a choice, it's not a choice of saying I don't want to be a role model. Well, if you don't want to be a role model, the only way that you are going to achieve that is by probably going and stay living by yourself somewhere in the back damn and you know completely going
off grid, then maybe you have a chance, but other than that, if you are in society, if you are living among people, especially if you are a parent and teacher, but even if you are either a parent or a teacher, if you are just you know a member of society, member of a community, in a member of an organization, and so on, you are
up there visible, and you are creating examples, and you are creating memories for people. Now, what is the kind of memory that you want to leave behind? It's not a matter of whether you're not doing this to show anybody it's not a question of you know, whether people will appreciate it or not. Most, most people don't
think about all the all the importance of thanking people, right, which which we have course I keep on harping on it all the time. Because this is what Allah subhanaw taala told us to do. This is what our seller told us. But how many of us thank those who have,
who we have benefited from so you're not doing it for them, you're doing it because also this is our record, this is our record before Allah subhanaw taala and this is what we will be questioned about and therefore keep that in mind.
We, we seem to live in a in a strange world and stranger with a strange attitude, that we don't hesitate to criticize anybody, but we get very embarrassed to show affection or to appreciate the good that we received from anyone. So we will be we are we are very quick to criticize people what we are not equally quick or, you know, even willing halfway to appreciate what people do for us. Now, as soon as salam said two things
about this. It is narrated from Anna's with Malika the Allahu Anhu that a man was with Rasul Allah Salah when another man passed by, and the man that we will was the man who was with us, Salah Musa Yara, so NASA, I love this man. He pointed out the other man says, the beautiful human being as I love this person. As soon as I asked him, he said, Have you told him that? This man said, No. Nobody's gonna tell you. So this van caught up with him. And he said to him, I love you for the sake of Allah. And the man replied me, the one for whose sake you love me, also love you. And this is in a without.
In another narration
dunya in adequan Rasulillah Salam said to him, tell him for it will strengthen the love between you. So do that. Do that before you go any further. If there is somebody who love then go and tell them that and start with the closest to your own spouses, your own children, your students, your own teachers, your own the the people who work for you
and so on and so forth. Right? Appreciate I mean you don't have to tell everybody that you love them but you maybe will love them. Even if you don't love them appreciate what they do. Think about what they do see how it affects you and helps you.
also, as I said I've also mentioned in theory the narrated by
even a movie yesterday that he said if one of you loves his brother, let him tell him so this is the same Hadith on the same
reminder. It was narrated from Ali in the house ain't even really even though let me tell you. So this is the
the grandson of Satan I live in Italy, the son of Hussein bin Ali or the Allahu Anhu by vain
who said that as long as Sam said, if one of you loves his brother for the sake of Allah, let him tell him that for he does good and makes the love lust
and whatever the llano
said that also does Ana Salam said the one who does not thank people for the good things they do for him is not thanking Allah subhanho wa
and this is in Muslim the My mama would be loud and have to MIDI
over or the alarm reported from a soulless or a seller who said he who does not thank people does not thank Allah and this is in Messina and to me the he also said some of our listener whoever does you a favor
and reciprocate. And you cannot find anything with wish to reciprocate and pray for him make dua for him until you think that you have reciprocated what he did for you. And this isn't a result. In another Hadith Salallahu Alaihe Salam he said, whoever has a favor done for him and says to the one who did it just hello Kira. May Allah subhanaw taala reward you with the West has done enough to thank him. And this is to me. So instead of saying thank you and to Korea and whatnot, say just like Allahu Clara, this is not about Arabic who are English, it is about giving a DUA, Shukria and thank you or not do as you can say it's not haram. But Jazak Allah or Ferran is a door. A person who did
something for you deserves that you do something for them in return. I
have mentioned this story in other places, but I think it's appropriate here to also mention it. I was teaching a course in Chennai.
And it was a coincidentally, it was a
Tamil Brahmin people, the whole the whole course it was a it was a course leadership course for GE. And so these were all
they're all engineers, and some of it some mechanical and so on and so forth. But they were all and they were all from
I think all of them were IIT graduates or some of them were IDC also, but anyway, so these are all highly qualified engineers working for General Electric.
And it so happened that they were all Tamil Tamil Brahmins. Now I speak fluent D, as some of you may know. So towards the end of the first day, it was a two day leisure course. Towards the end of the first day, I talked about the importance of being thankful because it's a very important leadership quality, to thank the people who you lead to thank your followers, team members and so on.
So I talked about that.
And I asked him a question I said, I said to them.
For those of you who don't know, in Tamil Nadu and especially with the Brahmins, there is a custom which is that
the first person to wake of it the house is the lady of the house, right is the mother the wife, sister, well.
Then, she wakes up she has a bath, and then she go, she goes and she does a puja.
She prays to her gods, and then she goes into the kitchen and she makes coffee. They drink freshly brewed coffee, freshly ground beans and literally brewed coffee. And there is really nothing as
as wonderful as that coffee. I have
in my plantation days.
I literally sort of grew up on that coffee it's a very very beautiful coffee there's nothing that comes even close to the
to the coffee in Tamil Nadu.
So this is a ritual so that the lady makes coffee then the men wake up and they she brings a coffee for them. So
They drink coffee. And they read the Hindu newspaper, the newspaper called The Hindu. They read the Hindu newspaper, it's a very good newspaper it has. It's very, you know, middle of the line, and good reporting, usually good English language also in it. So this is the ritual. So the mother wakes up makes the coffee, by then the these sons and the husband and will wake up now and she brings them the coffee and she, they drink coffee, or they read the paper now. So I asked them, I began my thing on being thankful to ask them actually tell me.
What if one day this coffee doesn't come?
Right? You wake up one day, and there's no coffee?
There? Was this literally the look of horror on their faces, or
is it that will be terrible? I mean, how can? How can how can it be a good day if there is no coffee?
So I said, Then, let me ask you a question. I said, How many of you tanked? The lady of the house? Who brings that coffee for you? Who makes the coffee for you every single day of our lives? Whether it's your mother, your wife, your daughter, your sister, whether it's always the woman, then the man never does it? So he says, Have you ever thanked that lady for that coffee? Now there was dead silence, honest people that they didn't like, I know the number thank but you know,
then there was one guy who was sitting right in front and he was an older man. He started he looked like he was at the point of bursting out laughing. So I said, What's so funny?
I said, Did I make a joke? I mean, what's so funny? You know, share it with us? He said, No, no, no, sir. The I'm not being funny. It's just that I thought to myself that if I go and thank my wife, she will die of shock. So as you let her die, happy, you know, go and go feel free go sanka. So y'all had a good laugh. And so on the
day finished, they all went home. The following morning, my practice is if I'm teaching a course I always come. I arrive at the scene.
At least half an hour early.
Sometimes maybe a little bit longer, a little bit more, but usually about half an hour early. I come to the place. So and then I set up, I do myself and I get myself accustomed to the space and so on and use it as tea and coffee. Then I have my own cup of coffee. So I came that day, and I'm sitting there with my laptop, everything set up and I'm having my coffee, when one young fellow from my class, who was there the class the previous day, he came, and he came straight to me and he said,
so he said,
he said, Sir, I, my mother said to thank you.
I said, well, thank you what your mother said to thank me for what I don't know your mother, who was the weather? He said No, sir. And he looked very sheepish. He said those are yesterday after I finished from my kick from this class. I went home and I thanked my mother. And I said to her, thank you very much for making this coffee for us every day. So my mother in her she said her response immediately was Who told you to say that?
That's I laughed. I said, it looks like your mother knows. She knows me. So she said, Who told you to say that? So he said earlier I tried to pretend I tried to say well, nobody told me. No, I thought which is a no, no, no, I know you very well.
Don't lie to me. Somebody told you
who told you. So he said I told her this whole story I said my this is our teacher and this is what he said, and so on. So she said tomorrow morning, first thing go and thank your teacher for telling you this is your teacher from on my behalf.
Now imagine this is this is how powerful thank fullness is. It makes the other person show it show the other person that you appreciate and believe me, it's a huge huge motivator, you would motivate people will do more for you, they will give you better quality stuff, they will not just be happy they will they will be happy they will appreciate it even though sometimes they may not show it right especially if you look at the
the current modern generation, the people who are born
in the year 2000 onwards, maybe even people from 1990 onwards
or 2000 hour definitely. So dogma teenagers, early 20s Usually they are not very responsive, right if you thank them if you see something not very responsive, but my experience with them is that they are very nice people at heart and even though they will not respond immediately on the face and so on. It shows throughout and once you know
When somebody drops, you know, line has already said something, which shows you that everything you said was registering, even though they look like they were
dumb, or they look like they didn't care less, and so on. That's the cool image that they're trying to present to the world, then I don't care, I have no feelings. But that's not that's not how they are. They have, they actually have more feelings, more feelings in my generation.
But they are responsive, they appreciate it. So do that. Thank you, children. Thank you, students. Thank your parents, teachers. Thank everybody.
Thank everybody. It's a very nice thing to thank people.
So let's change our
bring our hearts together, let's clean our hearts. Don't sleep tonight until you have thanked those who do favors for you day in and day out. And those who work in your home, they will work for you and all those do stuff for you. Great and small. Think about, you know, most of us.
Majid going Muslims. In America especially, there is somebody who cleans the muscles for you.
Right? Well, I mean, usually it's one of the community members, maybe he or she is not, you know, that, obviously, they're not wealthy.
So they're, they're doing the cleaning of the muscle.
Maybe it's a form that you've hired out. But the firm is, is a is a business, the people working in the form the human beings like you and me, how many times do we thank that person?
I want to add this question to the message boards. How many times have you I mean, you give all kinds of awards, right? This is another thing in America, we want for this award for that? How many times have we given an award to the person who cleans the muscle?
And if you haven't done it, why Why have you not done it?
Right, isn't it not important? I mean, if that person if they nobody cleans the machines will not feel that.
So when somebody is cleaning the machine, what's the what's our appreciation?
These are very important things that we must do. And anyone who wants to answer this by saying, Well, don't they know? That my simple answer to you is doesn't Allah know?
And if Allah knows that still are not smarter, as Elijah Kirtle as Yudanaka?
Well, Inca photo in the militia, in sort of the ramola Swatara said, the one who thanks me, I will increase my blessing for him. And the one who doesn't thank Me, let him be aware of my punishment doesn't allow. So why is Allah saying this? Because tanking is about us, it is not about the other person.
It's not about whether the other person knows or doesn't know or not. It's about you as a human being. Do you have the decency? Do you have? The honor? Do you have the the integrity, to appreciate and to acknowledge and to be thankful and grateful for something good that came to you, and that you don't take it for granted?
And brothers sisters make it a conscious habit, to say at least one good thing to your family members everyday. consciously think about this, what is the good thing that I said to my family today?
Express one thing that you appreciate what you do that one thing that you appreciate about them, express it to them. If necessary, carry a notebook and note down what you like about them. Right we have, I don't think we
we need to have a notebook to figure out what we don't like. Usually, we are very good at that. But what do you like about?
Concrete? Do that consciously.
Tell your husband, tell your wife tell whoever, your family people, one thing that you like about them. And do that every day?
Every day one thing that you like about,
believe me, you have more things that you like, than what you dislike.
do you express that it doesn't take intelligence to find people's faults?
Any dog can do that. That's why we use them to detect crimes. But it takes intelligence in a big heart and great wisdom to spend your time looking for the good in people and expressing your appreciation for it.
So make this a rule for yourself. And you will not eat or sleep until you have expressed your appreciation to your family at least one good thing and by all means extend that to others who are in touch with you.
Who you work with will meet and so on so forth. Strangers on the bus on the train, in shops, say at least one good thing to them. Every time you go into a shop say to yourself that I'm going to say one good thing to the somebody here in the shop
Whoever it is
maybe a customer, a fellow customer like you maybe shopkeeper maybe one of the helpers will
make an absolute rule for yourself I will not encounter or use any service or be in any place until I until and unless I've said at least one good thing to at least one person and at least
but start with your family.
Start with your family as soon as as LM was in the masjid with
his companions and his friends
and I will walk out of Syria Calderon who and Qatar when
he was with them
when they heard some recitation of the Quran
and they saw Abdullah in the muscle or the Allahu Inshallah, and he was reciting aloud. This is nothing Salah
he was not leading salah or anything, because otherwise, the salat wa salam Salam would have led.
So he's praying in one car
Surah Surah Salam says to his companions,
he said, If you want to listen to the Quran, as pure as the day it was revealed, then listen to the recitation of Abdullah in Moscow.
He said this, they listened to that for a while, then they left now, Soon thereafter, Omar Abdullah Katara Golan came looking for Abdullah and Russell. And he told him I have some good news for you.
And then he said, This is what Russell realizar set up said about your recitation
of July muscle. Thank you. And he said Abu Bakr was here just now for the alarm. And he told me about this.
Never think about it. What beautiful companionship is this, which spreads only good
today, we never hesitate. We hasten to pass on bad things. But good, we take for granted.
Somebody criticizes someone somewhere we had his back, whatever was there will take time and trouble and expense and he will make a phone call or come and he will say you know I was in such a place. This is what Shawn was saying about you. And that is something critical, something bad.
You make one mistake, and they are jumping down your throat.
But you do 1000 Good things. Everything is taken for granted.
Mistakes we stockpile. We are the world's greatest garbage collectors. And that's why we stink.
What do you think will happen if you collect garbage?
Greatest garbage collectors, what is the garbage?
Negative stuff about people?
So did this on this day or that day at this place and whatnot and whatnot?
Will you stop for a second? Think about the good thing that personally.
That is why our relationships are so bad.
Gratitude is a cure. Gratitude is balm on the pain, gratitude is medicine.
consciously think about the good that somebody does for you.
Yeah, we take it from the eye. Oh, boy. Yeah, that is true. But no, but no, but forget about.
Think about that.
I one of my teachers
if anyone went to him and said, Jeff, you know what Spencer was saying about? He would say, if it is good, tell me. If it is not make dua for me.
He said I don't want to spoil my impression of that person because of what you've written.
He refused to listen, he refused to listen to anyone who would say
something negative. Right. This is a beautiful beautiful habit, which
which I want to strongly promote.
And virally in this whole thing. Let me assure you that you are not doing any favor to the person who will thank you appreciate the favor is to yourself. You are thanking them because what they did for you earlier before
so do it for yourself and see how you feel after that. That is your reward.
Let me clarify that the rights of the man are not dependent on being a good husband.
He is entitled to those rights just by being a husband.
The wife is honored to obey her husband in all legitimate and halal matters irrespective of his behavior towards her.
Her obedience to Him is
because he is her husband, and he's not conditional on his behavior, just like the behavior, the order of obeying parents is not only for parents who are nice to the children,
you obey the parents because their parents, and as long as they don't tell you to disobey Allah, as long as they don't tell you to come and share
whatever they say, must be obeyed, and the children must treat them well, irrespective of how they treat the children. Now, obviously, it would be very stupid and oxymoronic. If anyone believes that, by this, I am saying that husbands can treat their wives anyway, they can abuse them, they can, you know, curse them, they can beat them,
but they are still entitled to this obedience and so on so forth, they may be entitled, but Allah subhanaw taala will punish them for their bad behavior. So also the parents.
It is not a license for the parents to say that just because they are your children, you can treat them like dogs. No, you can't.
You cannot you have to treat them well. You are responsible for their tarbiyah you are responsible for being good to them for for raising them as good people as good Muslims. And if you don't do that, then this will become a
reason for Allah subhanaw taala to punish you, because this comes under Oliva.
So it's a very good,
important thing to understand the so the person who is oppressing will be punished by Allah subhanaw taala, Allah will accept the dua of the wife against the husband, the husband, against the wife, the children, against the parents, parents against children, if the DA is justified, so be aware and and be warned, against the daughter of the oppressed, no matter who that operator is, and do not be an oppressor under any circumstances. When Why bingeable A villain who returned from Shah
he prostrated to the resource so that he made sujood to a solar cell Sajida of Dazeem right he was not worshiping the promise on seller, says Dr. Z. Now those people who say that says daft as he was Gize, which is not dyes, it is haram in Islam, and he said that, but what Mandela did when he returned from Sham, he made salute or salsa, Salam Salam said what is his what he said he asked Allah when I went to Sham I saw the people making sujood to their priests and to their bishops and to the king. So I told myself that I would like to do this to you because you are the Rasul of Allah, rasool Allah, Allah Psalms, he forbade it, he said, Don't do that. He said do not make sense
to me. He said, If I were to order anyone to make such that to anyone else, again, remember this is not Santa worship, it is the off Dazeem he said, If I assume is the of respect, he said, If I were to order anyone to make such the, to anyone else, I would order the woman to make such that to her husband, due to his to the greatness of his right over her.
Now, which means what, which means that even such the off Dazeem to your husband is not permitted. Now. If I
were to permit it, this is what I would do, which means what it is not permitted.
But show show gratitude. So Rosanna also said the one person in the world whom the woman was the greatest right is her husband. And the one person in the world to whom a man owes the greatest right is his mother. Any woman who that dies and her husband is happy with her will enter Jana, the right of a woman over her spouse over her husband is that if he obtains food, he feeds her, when you opt ins clothing you closer that he does not hit her face, he does not insert her, and that she does not stay away from her meaning physical relationship. And this is an imager and to me now it's very, very important here to understand this, that what is the right of the husband on the woman? It's
very, you know, sometimes people feel
women who feel that, oh, my, my, my parents have a right on me. And you know, brothers, sisters, whoever they did so many good things for me think about this.
Usually in our societies, a woman will get married when she is maybe 20, maybe 80, maybe 90, maybe 2021. Right? So effectively you say you stay with your parents for 21 years or 20 years or whatever.
But in the marriage and Allah, Allah gives us, you know, long lives and good marriages. So in the marriage now, you would have stayed with your husband for 40 years. So you actually the husband took care of you over 40 years, whereas your father took care of you for 20 years.
Under the right of the husband,
and you want to treat the husband as he has no right. Think about this.
Now, all of this, let me close by saying that it may appear that this Allah's ranters lawyer is male oriented. But it's essential not to fall into the trap of these false ideas which promotes slavery in the name of freedom. Feminism is the most insidious tactic of the West to take the woman out of the house and into the workforce. I've spoken about this in detail before so I won't repeat it but I request my sister not to fall into this trap. Feminism is slavery to the male. In another form, Islam made you independent and honorable and powerful. Islam made you the molder of generations. Anyone who wants to exchange that for answering phone calls or working in a call center or something
is seriously deficient in intelligence. alasa law strengthens the family as that is the fundamental unit of society. Islam places great emphasis on the family for this reason, and that is why the man has been given the role of being its head with all the responsibilities and accountability that goes with it. It is not a question of being superiority. It's a question of accountability. It's a question of role clarity. Allah Samantha has not distinguished between genders with respect to reward. Both have the same reward with special considerations for women, which men don't have. If right Islam promotes equity, not equality, because equality between the differently endowed is
Akula Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla humbly say Muslim InfraStop Pharaoh in the whole world for all Rahim