Kamal El-Mekki – Musk or Dust

Kamal El-Mekki
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the benefits of friends and maintaining friendships in the hellfire, including the negative impact of hurtful people on one's behavior and the potential for profit. They stress the importance of finding one's friend's actions as a reference to one's own success and setting boundaries and avoiding giving out too many information without warning. The segment also touches on the negative impact of friendships on one's behavior and the importance of showing respect and love to others.
AI: Transcript ©
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All right.

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Sam, solo workout

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it's a little harder for him. And hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah hit I mean, what are the the he was so happy here Jemaine but this lecture is titled, Musk or dust. So, uh, by the way, I'm not the one who comes up with these titles, okay? They just send them to me, but it's a good title right? What do you think it's about Musk or dust?

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All right. It's friendship. You said? Good. It's in the notes and isn't in the booklet isn't it? Good job. All right. This is based off of a famous Hadith where a Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He said the in NEMA methanol jellies Assad? Well, jellies a su, he said the example the parable of a good friend, and a bad friend. kaha middle miski When I feel good, it's like the one who carries the mask meaning the one who sells Musk coils and perfumes colognes and the blacksmith, the bellow blower is going to be at the blacksmith.

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So what he's saying SallAllahu Sallam is that your good friend is like the person who sells you musk. And the bad friend is like the blacksmith. With the the one who sells the musk, you're either going to buy some or you're going to enjoy smelling some good odor. Or he's going to give you some as a gift or you're going to smell something good. Or the other one. The blacksmith is going to burn your clothes, or you get a bad odor from all right. So why is this topic so important? Like why did why did we choose or why did the organizers choose this topic of friends? Why is that so important?

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And maybe some of us are upset and another Hadith or Raju, Allah Dini Holly, fall younger Hadoken may you hide? That a man and this of course applies to women as well, is going to be upon the dean of his close friends. So you should look to see who your close friends are. Now Dean in this hadith doesn't mean religion doesn't mean religion. Deen in this hadith means lifestyle.

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Okay means lifestyle. That's like the hadith of marriage. Either Jah can mentor Dona Dena, who will hold or who for Whoa, whoa, whoa, if someone comes to you to ask for your daughter's hand, and you're pleased with his dean here doesn't mean Islam more obviously is going to be Muslim. Right? He's not going to be something else. Like Jeremy is going to come knock on your door. Excuse me, Mr. Mr. Siddiqui, I'm here for OSHA.

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And your dad's gonna be like Aisha who just got out the door.

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the point is that Dean here means lifestyle, their way of life. So you're going to take to the way of life of your close friends, whatever they're into get into. Or you might flock together because you're of the interest that you have. You you're with friends with a group of people, they like a specific sport, you start to like it. You they like, you know, whatever it is, they like whatever they're into, you start to get into it as well. Even if you don't, you kind of start to appreciate it, sympathize with the cause all those kinds of things.

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in the Hadith, of the mosque, and the blacksmith, it's saying that you must be affected somehow. That's what the hadith is saying, you have to be affected somehow. Either you're going to be affected a lot, or very little, but you're going to be affected. Because it is inconceivable that you walk into a perfumery, and you don't smell something good. How would that happen? And it's incomplete. But I mean, either smell something good, or gives you a little sample like this, or gives you a little gift or you buy something but there's no way you're going to walk in and out and you're not going to smell anything good. It's impossible. The other the example the the blacksmith,

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there is no way you're going to walk into where the blacksmith is operating, and he's got the fire blowing, and he's climbing on metal, it's gonna hurt your ears, you're gonna feel the heat, you're gonna start to sweat, you might smell his bo. There is no way you're just gonna walk in and out and not be affected whatsoever. So that's what I did saying, you're going to be affected a little, you're going to be affected a lot but you are going to be affected. So we know that your friends affect you. So choose them carefully. Choose them carefully. There is a saying

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Seeing from ignorance route or the Allahu Anhu. The companion he said, Mammon che in a didn't know Allah shape. He's saying there is nothing that is more indicative of one thing to another than a friend is to his friend, even more so than smoke indicates fire. Sagna Mossad is saying, even more so than how Smoke indicates that there is fire somewhere. A friend indicates what his friends are like saying even more than smoke to fire. And it's so true. You know, you will see people. Sometimes parents tell you weird things like oh, my son Hunter loads a good boy. All his friends, they steal cars, they do drugs, but he doesn't do any of that.

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No hobby. He steals also, he does drugs. He could just, you know, masks it and covers it better. That's all that there's no way he hangs up with these people. And the whole time while they're jacking the car. He's like it took a law. There's no way.

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It's like, you know, you see these weird things. One time I met this guy. He's like, I have all these Muslim friends are not practicing. And he's practicing. He's like, they go to the bar. I go with them just to keep them out of the haram. I drink milk. You drink milk? On Xu Q.

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All right.

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We're gonna talk about that later on. To what level do you stay with a bad group? And when do you break away from the bad group that's at the end in Sharm

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imam in hustle bustle, Rahim Allah the scholars he used to say is stick through menial us hub, assign him he said he used to say make a lot of righteous friends fit dunya in this world, for in the home yam for O'Neill multicam they will benefit you on the Day of Judgment. Then he starts to describe a scenario which is based off of a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu said,

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Okay, look at this hadith, it's really powerful.

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And maybe Salam Salam is describing people will be an agenda. righteous people. They worked hard for it. They're sitting in a gin. And then they say, how can we enjoy the pleasures of a Jana while our brothers are being punished in the * farm.

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And this hadith says a lot of things, you know, and it tells you about the power of love, that they loved their friends from the dunya. So even though they're in a Jana, they didn't forget about them. And love is really powerful. You know, and Allah subhanaw taala obviously knows how strong the love is in our hearts. So some things in agenda resemble or dunya. There are markets and agenda. There shouldn't be a marketing agenda. Everything's free. But there is a market because in this world, we love markets. There are people who love farming, they'll get the farm in agenda. There are people for some strange reason love children, they will be able to have children and agenda.

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The point is that love is so strong and I know one of the things you're most looking forward to is seeing ones that you love in agenda. Right. And when you think of

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when you think of how you love the prophets of Allah Sana and that's like what you're looking forward to more than anything after of course seeing Allah azza wa jal but I'm talking about the love you have for the prosthetic limb that from this world carries to the next like you're more excited about that than eating grapes and agenda and eating fruits and stuff. I want to see the profits all sudden I want to watch the battle of better in for the 4k whatever they have. I want to watch a hood. I want to watch the moment when the process when you please came to him in the cave. These things anyways, so here are these people are already in a Jana, and then they remember friends

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of theirs and then they say how can we sit here enjoying the pleasures of Jana, while our friends are being tormented in the hellfire.

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So and by the way, some scholars said these friends that they're asking about might have sat with them once or twice. It's not like they were their best friends. But just this is the benefit. Remember, this is all under the subheading of having righteous friends we call it the personal advisory saying have a lot of righteous friends in this dunya because they'll benefit you on the Day of Judgment.

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then the problem says have a hadith file is Allah Rajan yesh file had, the man will keep interceding for his friend until they're taken out of the hellfire and put into Elgin.

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So then the people of the Hellfire will be surprised by that. This person was with us in the torment. Then they were taken and put into paradise. So they will say,

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Who is the person who interceded for them? Who interceded was their father? A martyr? A Shaheed and it will be said no. Was their brother a Shaheed they'll be it will be said no. Did an angel get them out of the Hellfire they will be told no. Did a prophet getting our

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of the Hellfire they will say no, it was a friend who got them out of the Hellfire. So then the people of the Hellfire will say, and this is referring to the Tafseer of this verse and sort of Shara feminine I mean sheltering the people of the Hellfire will say, we all have any intercessors what Saadian Hamin and no close friends who got them out of the Hellfire, who interceded for them, their close friends, they're gonna say we don't have any intercessors we don't have any close friends. Fellow and Elena Carleton Fennec who when I'm in a mini if we could just get another chance to go back to Earth will be from the righteous that some scholars said will be from the righteous

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and will be friend the righteous because they saw the benefit of having righteous friends and that's why it's worthless Zakharov Allah subhanaw taala says Akela we all might even borrow whom labor or then I do want Elon Musk talking on that Dale Akela Thoreau I need a very close friend. On that day these very close friends will be enemies to one another except for the righteous your righteous friends here are your righteous friends in the app your friends here that take you out to do haram encourage you to do haram and as much as they tell you that they you know I guess in slang terms they got your back that you're my boy

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my dog

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my ride or die? I'm from the streets by the way.

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All this stuff they say my ride or die. My dog my wife. Gotcha, gotcha for me. But you homie, you those homies on the day of judgment in the hellfire, they will hate each other. They will be making dua against each other. They will be cursing each other and asking Allah to double the punishment on the other person. It's because of you that I'm here. He used to encourage me to do all this evil. All this talk about dogs or cats are all gone. Oh God. Only the righteous will be true friends in the ashram, all these people will just talk there will be enemies that will hate each other because they helped each other made it to that to make it to that horrible place will ever be now.

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We're still on the importance of friends. We're still on the benefits and the virtues of having good friends. And we're looking at the extra benefits so far. And we saw seller mentioned in this hadith, so famous Hadith, but just it's always like fresh every time you read it's like brand new. And maybe Salam Salam said in them in Ibadan, la he know Nelson, from the servants of Allah are certain people, my homeboy, Gambia, they are not prophets. What shahada and they are not martyrs. And we know the prophets, the martyr is the significant, they're in the highest levels. And they're like the highest levels of human can attain.

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Then the problem says, your bill to whom and MBM you have to go to home and look to is when you you wish you had the blessing that the other person has. But what's the difference between a lip and a hazard? Hazard, you want what they have, and you want them to lose it up to the righteous here. You want what they have a blessing, but you don't want them to lose it either. You just want to have what they have. So Allah and maybe Saul Salam is saying that the prophets of Allah are going to wish that they had the blessings these people have. He already said they're not prophets. They're not martyrs. They're just regular folks. And the prophets are going to wish they had what they have on

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the day of judgment was shahada as well as the martyrs as well will wish they had what these people have. Yokoyama be makhani him in Allah He to Allah because of their place with Allah azza wa jal in another narration, it mentioned that Allah subhanaw taala will put them on pulpits manorbier manure a pulpit, by the way, fun fact, this is not a pulpit. This is a very common mistake people make. This is not a puppet. This is a lectern. A pulpit is an elevated area, the stage this is the pulpit. So Allah subhanaw taala is not going to give them lecture and they're going to lecture people, then he's going to give them elevated places. And that's how you're honoring them, putting them above

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everybody else made of light. The problem in this narration that we're going through, mentioned that their faces will be filled with light radiating with light, and they will be upon light. And then look at these benefits on the Day of Judgment. When everyone's afraid when the prophets and angels are saying Neff see Neff see word about themselves. And maybe so Allah Selim says these people lie of our funa either half openness, they're not afraid when other people are afraid look when everyone else is afraid. They're not afraid. What I know now

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either has in a nurse, and they're not sad when everyone else around them is sad.

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And then the problem described what they do. Across Allah mentioned that they are the ones who love each other for the sake of Allah azza wa jal. They were friends, but they were close and their friendship was based upon Allah subhanaw taala and they love each other for the sake of Allah azza wa jal. So while everyone is saddened and scared, they're not sad and they're not scared, and the end the prophets and the martyrs are looking at them and they wish they had the blessing that they have.

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The way to continue about the virtues and the benefits of having friends and righteous friends. I mean, that would just be enough just there.

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In another Hadith

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Allah subhanaw taala says what Shabbat Maha Betty so that my love is guaranteed will Muhtar be in a fee for those who love each other and my sake

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well muda jealousy in a fee and those who sit together for my sake that's what gathers them not sports not video games not anything else. I'm not saying these things are haram but he's saying what gathered them together they sat down because of me that's the common factor here. Well Mutasa, we Rena fie and those who visit each other for my sake, and you know, something on that note, you know, people stop visiting each other. When you want to meet a friend, you go to a restaurant for dinner. Don't do that. Okay, do that. But do the other thing. Also. Bring them over to your house. It's different. It's different when you welcome someone in your home and they meet your children and you

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cook for them and the effort you put cleaning the house and preparing the food and all that and he's visiting you in your home or she's visiting you in your home for the sake of Allah azza wa jal people who visit each other for the sake of Allah now we've just become cold right? It's weird now. Now the doorbell rings and you tell the kitchen with the

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doorbell rings like the whole family's trained down roll

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and then you got all these paranoid people you know I rented a house that had that ring thing on it the doorbell I wouldn't get ring because I'm not white. But the point is that

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I'm kidding The point is so with the ring you get all these you know every neighborhood everything they put on ring and I'm just looking for like these people are paranoid. suspicious man comes to my house drops package like Didn't you see the truck behind them said Amazon Prime like why are you so suspicious of everything? People just paranoid about everything. Someone rings the doorbell suspicious person rang the doorbell. It was your grandmother.

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He won't like visitors anymore. Kids still innocent run to the door to open it parents stop.

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Maybe it's a guest

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visit each other for the sake of Allah. Don't always take them out to whatever it is the coffee place don't always just go out for meals someone's a cook at home and receive people and there's so many other benefits. You know, when you see the situation of how your brother or your sister you know how they live and you get to know them better. You know, it's more intimate, you get closer to them. Anyways, but the Hadith specifically mentions the visit each other for my sake. And basically we were saying that Allah subhanaw taala says they guaranteed the love of Allah because everybody loves Allah. Find me a Muslim says I don't love Allah. Everybody loves Allah. But the real question

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is scholars said, Does Allah subhanaw taala love you

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that we should just seek out every Hadith that says this is how you gain the love of Allah azza wa jal, just make sure we do these things.

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Anyways, and another Hadith mentions a very famous one also, but it again shows the virtue of friendship and love for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala the Hadith describes a man who was going to another town or village to visit another man. And then Allah subhanaw taala sends him an angel on his path. And the angel asked him a Natori Where are you going? And he says, We do occasionally. We had the hill Korea, I'm going to a friend of mine, a brother of mine in that village. So the angel asked him Do you have any business there that anything you want from him any favors you need from us? There's nothing just going to visit him for the sake of Allah I love it for the sake of Allah.

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So then the angel tells them I am a messenger of Allah to you, informing you be an Allah but a hub Baca come on up the houfy that to inform you that Allah has loved you the same way you love your friend for his sake.

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I think like these are just

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great incentives for people to have righteous friends. And you know what a smart person would do. Even if you don't like being around righteous people, they're so boring all the talk about Hadith and to see it and stuff and don't talk about soccer and fun stuff. I don't like being around righteous people. Don't worry about it just be their friend anyone's. Because some of that righteousness might rub rub off, you know, you benefit. Or if it doesn't, you know what have backup plans, right? Nobody knows what's happening on the Day of Judgment, have backup plans. Only do you pray no man, but I have a lot of righteous friends. They'll pull me out of there.

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Okay, that's a bad plan. But you're, you're going to try to do everything right, you're going to try to do the righteous deeds as much as you can put effort and also have righteous friends the benefit. Okay, study it in Arabic, it's called the Saudi if your friend as Saudi if is from the root said, which is truthfulness? He said, Why is it the friend from that root word truthfulness? Because if there is a gap, meaning you have there's a gap in you, they fill it, if you fall short, they will complete you. If you have a flaw, they will conceal it less than young people. I know you think everything is funny these days, the minute you find out about a flaw your friend has next morning or

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maybe not even next morning needed to be posted on your social media. Everybody has a laugh about about it, they laugh at him make fun of him make fun of her, Okay, girls are very mean to these days would be nice people, people making fun of each other, I find a flaw I let the whole school know about it. No, you find the flaw. You can seal it. They advise you.

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They care for your Asherah. That means as we're sitting here, right now, we should go through our list of friends. How many of your friends actually care for a film? And while you're at it, look at what kind of friend you are? Do you care about your friends after or not? And sometimes when you advise people, your friendship suffers a little bit. Nobody likes someone giving them advice all the time, even though they should I'll get to that in a second. But look at if you if they really love you do they care about your Asha.

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And on another note here in your life, who are the most in your life, which people are the most willing to remind you and to get on your case about your outcome?

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In your life? Who is willing to get on your case more than anybody about your youth? You know the answer to this? Said?

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Yes. Moms when this conference is over. Make sure you kiss your mom's forehead and your hands. Even if it's not in your cup. Just do it. Say thank you. Forget you that.

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Thank you because your dad, what was your dad? Your dad's in? out working and stuff who yells at you for door? Your mom? Who yelled to your daughter every day has

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that you've read the horror? Shut up more. I'll be ready in a minute. God hate my parents.

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Stop this stuff. Gotta hate this family.

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Kiss your mom's hands and forehead and tell her thank you mother for keeping me Muslim. Because if she left for a day, would you pray? That's the question. She would come in. She would come back at 1am Did you pray any of the prayers? What's prayer?

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Yeah, you know, because your parents love you. They're the ones willing to get on your case about your Astra more than anybody. And that's because they love you. And if your friends really loved you, they would get on your case about your ask him. That's the real friendship right there. You know, every time a sister goes through, I don't know what she goes through. And then she puts a long face on posts on Facebook about why she's going to remove her hijab and she puts a picture of her like this with not hijab shampoo commercial.

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This is the part that's the worst part. All her other sister friends who are still hate Gabby's girl You look great. Do you I don't even know what that means. But every time someone says do you I try to hold myself back from strangling the life out of them. I don't even know what that do you

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This is it. This is how it is now take off your head yeah, that takes some time and find yourself find yourself find yourself

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okay anyways alright let me get

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get into nice mode nice smile be nice be nice when

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these things boils my blood find yourself. What do you mean find you I don't like this kind of stuff. This is nonsense. I went to India to find myself.

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right there what do we what do you have to go?

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You went to India to find yourself look in the mirror those your ugly mug right there

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Oh, I see is having regrets again?

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Brother. We're the ones making a note next year no, this short black guy

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you guys

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look, you give people advice a lot your friendship will suffer. You know. And when people give you advice, accept it. Accept it. It might be painful and hard in the beginning, but accept the advice because everybody wants to improve people who don't accept advice. It's like they're saying, Why did you correct me? I love being wrong and ignorant. And now you're trying to make me a better person. I'm so mad at you get angry with you. He's calling security. What are you doing? I should have one. It's calling somebody on the microphone.

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I'm almost done. Anyways, man, just just calm down.

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I'll get off the stage myself. Just give me five minutes.

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All right.

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So I was saying when people give you advice, take it. Don't get upset with them for trying to improve you and make you a better person. And when someone gives you advice also act upon some people I call them collectors that just collect advice. This guy was giving me a right to my vehicle one time at university.

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And I barely kind of know him. I barely know him. And we get in his car. He's like, give me advice. I was looking to Allah. I should. I don't hold back. If I find any good advice. I'll give you a shot to 20 seconds later. Okay, sure. What's the advice? So they say I told you that I don't know anything right now. But if I do know something, I will tell you I will not hold back. 30 seconds later, he says, did you think of anything?

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Now this is a true story. I'm not changing any part of it? Well, when he said that I remembered something about him that he used, he interrupts people like crazy. Like you asked you a question and cut you off as your answer.

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So I remember that said, Good. This way, I can also shut him up and stop pestering me about advice. So I told him, actually, I remembered something. You interrupt people a whole lot. He goes, Yes, I know that. Give me something else.

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True story.

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That's when I let them have is if it's not acceptable, yeah. You're a collector and you just collect advice from different people go to people. Do you have any advice for me? Oh, I already have this one.

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Status stamp collection. I said said fix it then work on it.

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Alright, two last things I'm going to mention are maybe three, Bad Company. What do you do when you have bad friends? By the way, for the most part, the scholars say when you have bad friends, meaning they don't pray, sometimes they pray or they pray when you're there. They said you never part ways with them. Those people you don't part ways with them. Because your presence there brings hair into their life. As opposed to 100% Evil you bring some hair out of maybe they're shy because they're shy, they won't drink while you're there, they won't smoke while you're there. They won't look at anything inappropriate while you're with them, they will pray. One out of five prayers is better

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than zoo Zero out of five pairs. So the scholars say you remain with them. You don't part ways with them, except in the case where they're pulling you down. So the first case, you're helping them improve. They use less profanity when you're around them. They don't do haram when you're around them. So you're helping them improve. But if you are the righteous one who's supposed to fix them, now you find yourself using profanity when you're around them, delaying the prayers when you around them here you save yourself. Here you get out of there. You can't save them from drowning. If you're going to drown to this case, you get out but sometimes people they part ways with people because oh

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they don't do this or they miss prayers and they need you in their life. Just like an in that example of the Astra people remembering each other. And the scholar said the people agenda when they remember their friends in the hellfire. They said these were friends who for the most part prayed but they had some sins or they may be committed some major sins, and they remembered them and they helped them out. That's the attitude. It's not that the minute you make a mistake, like you have to be 100% to be my friend. You make one mistake I'm out.

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But you're out if you're being drugged. It's like that guy who drinks milk at the bar. Oh, wait, wait, can you add some to the milk and listen? What's bottle?

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Choi Have you like canceled the meal just bring the ball

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came with a whole bottle of

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boundaries, setting boundaries with friends. There's good news. I always tell people you only have

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To set the boundaries once

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this girl came to my office, my office she says, you know, my brother's friends to try to shake my hand.

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And what should I do I get embarrassed. I told her, here's the good news. You only have to tell them one time that you don't shake hands. And appstore it's not like every time you run into them, you have to tell them by the way, it's just once and they'll remember it. Done. Set your boundaries with your friends once and those set it in a rude way. And with a frown on your face. And when you correct someone don't correct them in a rude way because they're in the wrong. You're in the right so you told them haram frown, and you're nasty and abrasive and rough. You know, I love the story of a man who came to Harun Rashid, to give them advice and he was very rough with him. A lot of people

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think that you get a chance to speak to a ruler or what have you let them have it. But do you think that's going to be conducive to them changing becoming a better person? So he was really rough with him? When he was done? He says, Yeah, Raju it'll fit he doesn't Be gentle. Because Allah sent someone worse. I mean, Allah sent someone better than you for Qaddafi Allah hookman who will Pharaoh Minka? Elam and who are Sharon mini Allah sent someone better than you to somebody worse than me and still told him to be gentle. You know what he's talking about? Didn't have an electron in Java for Hula, hula colon Lena, go to Pharaoh on his transgressed. Loosen heroin better than you went to for

00:31:34 --> 00:31:50

all who is worse than me and still said Be gentle with what makes you think you could come here and just be so rude and, and harsh with me. So set your boundaries, you don't have to end the relationship because of boundaries. No good. And well, you guys are Canadian over good manners. Right? Right.

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I live in America, I get this question a lot. Someone will come and say how do I get give that out to my parents without being rude?

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And I always give the same answer.

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Give them that without being rude.

00:32:04 --> 00:32:10

Kind of a question is that? Like, why do you have to be rude for some reason? Just give them down without being rude.

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All right. And then of course, the last thing which I shouldn't have to say, we're talking about friends. And we're talking about boys friends with boys and girls friends with girls. And there is no such thing as girls friends with boys. There is no such thing. Just like there is no such thing as the gazelle. Who's best friends with a lion.

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You understand? It has never happened

00:32:41 --> 00:32:51

let me tell you something. If there is a gazelle that sometimes hangs around the lions and then the gazelle tells the other gazelles we're just friends. Nothing's gonna happen. Wait till lunch.

00:32:53 --> 00:33:01

Wait to lunch. No such thing. It is not normal. It is not natural. There is no such thing. So in short, no, she can't see.

00:33:03 --> 00:33:03

She can't

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there are no Somalis in here. No, she can't see Illa hiccup so All right. All right. You guys are gonna love heroin for listening attentively. Salaam Alaikum Hamid Salama, Alec McCullough vodka.

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