Channel: Kamal El-Mekki
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in 100 Allah Muhammad who want to stay in a Honda stop federal when I was a builder he machinery and personnel Mr. Medina Maya de la HuFa la mobile de la wama youth the little fella ha de Allah, wa shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa doko luxury color wash hadoo ana Muhammadan Abu rasuluh your or your Latina Armand otaku Lahab koutou katoa What are tomato Nyla? One two Muslim moon? Yeah you have Latina Amina taco la Hawa, Kulu Colin said either use the Halacha Amala Comox Lacan Vinoba calm Wyoming Utah Allah rasool Allah Who fucka the fossa Fosun Alvina and my bad friend now stalking Hadith Kitab Allah wa Sen had you heard the Mohammed bin Salman Allahu Allah who are seldom, or
shall memoriam of data to her or coulomb of data in Vida Wakulla Allah Allah will call out infinity. Brothers and Sisters in Islam today are hotbar is about fathers. And we know that Allah subhanaw taala gave both parents a very high position in Islam, and that Allah subhanaw taala when He commands us to worship Him, which is the purpose of life and then he warns us of shirk, which is the number one sin He immediately tells us to be dutiful to our parents. We'll call our Buka Allah taboo in the year we've been validated so Asana your Lord decreed that you do not worship anyone besides him and then immediately Allah azza wa jal says we've been awarded in Asana and you you'll be good
and dutiful to your parents. Why would Allah Allah to share Kobe ha and what meanwhile Edenia asana and worship Allah and do not worship anything besides him or associate anything in worship with him would be to Allah, Dania, sunnah and being good to your parents. But the father in particular is not talked about very much, a lot of hottub an hour of lectures about the place of the mother, but really not that much for the Father. And
we need to talk about the father, because we live in a society that has marginalized the role of the father, where he is presented as foolish, and bumbling in the media and in commercials, and in movies and sitcoms. And because also the father is not even in charge of his home anymore. It's a partnership now in a democracy and all that stuff. So the father is being marginalized more and more, but and Nabi SallAllahu sallam said, I'll worry do Oh Sato of wobble Jana. The father is the middle of the gates of the parent of paradise. Your father is the middle of the gates of hell, Jana, your father is the one who sacrifices his money to provide for you what you need and what you want.
He's the one who sacrifices his time. Maybe he has dreams, hobbies that now he can't afford or doesn't have time for because he's
Spending on you or putting you in private school, all the sacrifices that he makes. But at the end of the day, the whole house gives him a hard time. And even when he asked his children to do something they have and puff and argue and give arguments before they finally do it. If the father or the mother or both parents ask the child to get a haircut, they refuse and how many people in our community how many parents are grieved because their children refused to get a haircut, or wear this instead of wearing that? How many parents who have come to me personally, to convince their child they can't have a dog. It was enough if your parents said we don't want a dog, but they have to take
it to the Imam because the child is not going to listen to them. How many parents have come up to us saying my child wants to wear a necklace tell him it's haram. And necklaces are not haram. And what we told the children to wear a necklace and is silver, obviously not gold or it is not haram. But there's something more important than that than it being halal. And that is do your parents approve of it or not. So every time a child comes to us with their parents to settle the debate of necklaces, we always told the child the same thing. It doesn't matter that it's halal. What matters is that your parents don't want you to have it. That's it. Don't argue don't bring it up every time
don't try to get leverage and blackmail and twist their arm every time there's an issue because of the necklace. hulless. It's not haram. But your parents don't want it. That's enough. It can't be that everything is a struggle over haircuts over clothing, over necklaces over jewelry, it can't be the what is the role of parents, if everything is a discussion and a debate, and it keeps going on for months and months and months.
take advice from your father, accept his advice when he gives it to you don't do this whole he was raised in another place and times have changed and he doesn't have tick tock. All these things are irrelevant and have nothing to do with it. Not only should you take his advice, seek his advice, come to him and ask him for advice. Even if you don't in the depths of your heart, even if you don't want it, seek his advice, make him feel important. Make him feel relevant in your life. You know, the scholars one of the scholars said your mother gives you life. But your father teaches you how to live life. All his experience everything he learned come to Him. And when he gives you advice accept
it, or at least consider it.
He's the one who's so concerned for you that Allah subhanaw taala had to warn him not to go overboard in his care for you. Yeah, you had Latina Amano in a minute as well as you can what I will do one locum for the room. Here in this verse, Allah subhanaw taala saying, Oh you who believe from your family and from your children or enemies to you. So be wary, be careful of them. And the scholars explain that your children because of your care and concern for them might take you away from the deen pull you a little bit away from knowledge from worship, from being an honest salesman because you want to do something to gain their provision or to provide for them or you might lie a
little bit or twist words a little bit to provide for them. That's how much they will care for you. That's how much your father cares for you.
And Hadith narrated by Imam Muhammad Rahim Hola.
And maybe still Allah wa sallam said in Al Walla do mob holla tune, we're much better. Indeed the sun you and your child boy or girl is mob holla and Mage banner mob Hala, because you're become stingy because you want to keep your wealth for your children you want to provide for them. You want to be able to afford whatever it is that they want. So you're going to become a little stingy give a little less to the poor, give a little less to the masjid give a little less to important causes because you want to leave some for your family. Well, much better. Much juban is when someone is not courageous or is afraid, and much better because you're always afraid for them. You're always
worried about them, or you fear dying and some of the scholars specifically mentioned you refuse to go to battle because you want to remain on earth to take care of them. So your children are can become a source of stinginess for you and a source of, for lack of a better term cowardliness for you because you want to take care of them. In the monster truck. And the book of the monster truck. There's another term added Massana Massena meaning a source of sorrow. Because if the if you get sick, your father or your parents are, are hurt and concerned for you, if you get hurt, they're concerned for you
If they can't afford something that causes them pain, so a source of sadness also, in a narration of a taboo Ronnie another term is added medalla which is ignorance. So how so and the scholars explained that they seek less knowledge now because they're giving all their time to you to the seek less knowledge, they can't go to the Khalifa. They want to they can't even read as much as they want because they're constantly taking care of the family. They come home and they're giving their attention here and there. The scholars mentioned taking the time away from traveling which people used to travel to seek knowledge. All this is happening because of the child all this is happening
to the Father specifically, our focus is on this Hotbot and the father because of your their sons and their daughters.
That's why, in a hadith narrated by Ben Hepburn and Nabi SallAllahu sallam said, Read Allah FIRA little wallet says, the pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the Father. Yeah, and you want to please Allah, please your father and the scholars of course, say only in that which is halal. You don't please them in that which is haram was the hafler visa heartily valid. And Allah subhanaw taala being displeased with you is in your father being displeased with you. This is the place of the Father. And many people don't realize their father's worth unless they're looking at him through the glass in the hospital while he's on his bed. Or he's in his grave. And in the Quran, we see the
relationship between fathers and their sons. We see no Hado Salaam and the care he gave for his sons salvation and her for his son's Deen. We see Ibrahim Ali Salam was with his father. His father is being very harsh with him. And he tells him what God Malia I don't want to see you for a long time go away forever. And he's still responding to him in every single verse. Yeah, a birdie Yeah, a birdie Yeah, a birdie. Oh my father Oh my father. We see Ibrahim Ali salaam with his son Ismail Ali son I mean we see is married Alice salams. Respect and obedience to His Father. We see in the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala is quoting the advice of Lachman to his son.
So appreciate your father. Even if he divorced your mother, you still have to respect and appreciate him. Even if he doesn't pray or does haram, you still have to respect him. You respecting your father has nothing to do with his relationship with Allah azza wa jal. It has everything to do with your relationship with him. father son relationship is not broken, whether he prays or not, or does halal or haram or not, you still have to respect him. You still have to be obedient and respectful to him. Don't burden him with things you need, help him out financially, if you're able. There's some people, their children just burden them with things beyond their ability. Families where the
young man all his friends have brand new sport cars. So he pressures and pressures his family till he gets a sports car that is well above what they can afford. Type. Understand, don't be another burden. And Nabi SallAllahu, alayhi salam, when his grandfather, Abdul Muttalib, died, he went to live with his uncle of Bhutan, Bhutan, it had 13 children and he was a poor person, and Nabi SallAllahu Sallam didn't just stay home and become another mouth to feed. He went and got a difficult job that paid very little, but he did his part, instead of just being a burden. That's of course we're talking about when he became a shepherd. So don't just be another financial burden and
ask them to do things beyond what they can or beyond their ability. Consider
his position. Yeah, in America, it's all about individuality. So if you believe something, if you feel something colorless, make it public posted, and it doesn't matter who agrees, who disagrees. And you will find someone whose father is an Imam, removing their hijab consider his position in this in the community, everything is about you consider his position, or someone who's doing drugs and talking about it publicly or getting into all the other things that are now popular all over and not considering that their father's a religious man or, or an Imam, or leads us Allah or teaches the Quran. It's just about what I am, what I feel, show your true colors, be true to yourself. We'll
come on father.
But it's not about that. It's about the family. It's about your parents. It's about their reputation as well. Since when do we just consider how we are and how we feel
that you owe that as well to your parents. And here we're talking to the youth in the audience. You owe that to your parents as well. It's not just about you. Think about your decision and how that impacts them.
how that impacts their place in society and their place in the community.
Even if your father is angry all the time, and that's Allah, Allah big complaint angry fathers, all fathers are angry. But why are they angry? One of the one of the things, they say that the father sacrifices so much from his wealth from his time, many people never spend time with their friends to just with the family the whole time. So they sacrifice so much. And so when their children, let them down, they get extra angry because I've sacrificed so much for you. And in the end, this is how you disappoint me. So they get even more disappointed. Try to understand consider their position and where they're coming from.
One of the scholars mentioned he said, in the animal kingdom, the orphan is the animal that loses its mother. And that is so true. In the animal kingdom, when the mother dies, the baby becomes an orphan. But for human beings, when the father dies, you become an orphan, and the LEA team, Islam in Islam, the A team is not the one who loses the mother the team is the one who loses the Father. So that we ask Allah Allah to make us recognize the position of our fathers Akula holy ha stuffer Allah Allah Allah, Allah Allah Kuma Jamia Nanak for stop Pharaoh, fire hose Al Mustafa and ask Allah Subhana Allah for his forgiveness, indeed those who ask for forgiveness shall prosper.
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala also revealed I mean, while he was happy Jemaine about.
It's also important, as we're talking about fathers, that they understand the rights of their children upon them. And even though that's an entire hog, but in and of itself, but there are a few things that are important. And that is, there are some fathers who don't give any time to their children don't give any time. They're the opposite of the what we mentioned earlier, they're always out with their friends always out at some place, coffee, or whatever it is. And they spend very little time with their children. And they don't show any interest in their children. And many fathers come home, they're just like some kind of supervisor or manager, they don't have any
interest in their child's hobbies, abilities. All they ask is for a checklist, what did you learn in school? Have you done your homework, or they ask about another chore, but no interest in them as a human being beware of that, beware of not giving them any time. Because when you don't invest in them, you don't get anything back, you don't get anything back, if their whole childhood you were absent, or you are cold, or you're just not attentive, then when they grow up, you're not gonna get anything back from them. And that's one you will need them, that's one you will need them, you take care of them your entire life. And then as you get weaker, and older, and they become stronger, they
take care of you. And that's when you want to reap what you've sown in the past. Many people when they're busy, they push their child away, child comes to them push right now on busy or the phone, and they come to you and you push them away. Just think of what that does, psychologically, for 14 years or 13 years, every time they come to you push them away. And then you wonder when they're 1890, and you want to spend time with them. They don't want us to spend time with you. They want to spend it with their friends, because you train them for years, by pushing them away, constantly pushing them away.
And we've got extremes now we've got one extreme where we have that father who is just distant and just unapproachable and all that. And then we've got the other extreme of be a friend to your child who was out of action, and he calls you names and you it's okay and let him feel safe with love. Don't, don't push it, where religion of moderation, just be right in the middle. That's what that's always the best is moderation. And Allah did not create you to be their best friend. That's not how it is. There's always authority. And without that it doesn't work. Talk to any psychologist, look it up if you want. That's how it works. But create a balance. Don't just be a dictator in the house
that brings fear when you enter or you come back from work. There's fear all over the household and don't come in like you just another 14 year old friend of theirs. With that we ask Allah Subhana Allah to make use of those who recognize the truth as clear truth and follow the best of it and to make us of those who recognize falsehood as clear falsehood and abstain from it for Lahoma and and
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