Giving And Accepting Advice
Channel: Kamal El-Mekki
File Size: 14.17MB
Episode Transcript ©
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hamdulillahi rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Hill. I mean, while he was here, Jemaine about our hotbar today is about giving and receiving advice.
And the first question is, why is it that we don't give advice properly? Meaning why is it that we don't often correct each other's mistakes?
And perhaps if everyone were aware of the importance and the place of advising one another in Islam, that would not be the case. And Nabi sallallahu alayhi salam said in his famous Hadith, a deen on Naziha the religion is sincere advice. The religion is sincere advice. The Scholars say from the way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam worded the Hadith, it shows you how important it is to give advice in Islam. That it's a very important aspect of this Deen. So the pro Salam worded it as if all of the religion is to give advice a dino Naziha and they compared it to the hadith of Arafa and hijau Arafa to show you the importance of Arafa when it comes to hajj, he said all of Hajj is out of
fun. To show you the importance of giving advice in Islam. He said all of Islam is giving advice. And some scholars added also they said that it shows that one way to have Dean is to give Nazism another explanation. One way to have Dean is to give nasiha and Nabi sallallahu alayhi salam, when he took the pledge from the believers, they pledged to not worship anything besides Allah subhanaw taala and obedience and so on and so forth. But one of the things they pledged to oneness ha Licola Muslim oneness Ha, the Kula Muslim and to give advice to every Muslim, that's one of the things they took the pledge for. So we see that giving one another advice is something that is essential and a
big part of our religion. But we fall short. And especially as Muslims in America, we really fall short in advising one another. And perhaps that has to do with a number of things. Amongst them is the exaggerated often exaggerated sense of individuality here, when you want to correct someone's mistake. They explain that that's who I am, that that's my personality. That's how I've always been, and all kinds of other excuses.
Or perhaps that they lose sight of the big picture. Too late when you advise someone they told you, what does this have to do with you? I'm the one who gets the sin. You're not going to be held accountable on Day of Judgment. I'll be standing in front of Allah azza wa jal. This has nothing to do with you. But if that were the case, why did Allah subhanaw taala then tell us in the Quran to enjoin good and forbid evil? What are our know Alberto Taqwa wala Tao 100 million or one
in the Lavina Aman who I'm gonna Salah hottie what also will help it what a wall Soviet southern they enjoined one another and encourage each other in good and inpatients why was that the case? And they don't realize that the big picture is that one person committing a sin encourages another to commit the sin and then it becomes rampant and it becomes everywhere. And then everyone else becomes desensitized to it.
How did we get to where we are today in the Muslim ummah, if you keep going back for hundreds of years, one day someone committed this sin, and no one gave them advice, and no one corrected them and everyone said it's their business and doesn't concern me leave them alone. And then fast forward to where we are today.
The Prophet sallallahu Sallam gave a brilliant example of people who went on a boat and there was a group at the top of the boat and a group in the lower deck of the boat. And then he said that the group in the bottom deck would constantly bother the ones up top in order to drink water always asking them to give water so then they came with
idea that let's make a hole in the boat and instead of bothering them, we'll drink water from this from from here from the hole that we make. And the problem concludes by saying, if they leave them in that state, then all of them will perish, all of them will drown. And that's exactly the way it is with giving advice, that it affects everyone. And we're all on the same boat together.
Or sometimes you offer advice to someone and he told you to worry about yourself first. You have to worry about yourself. Don't you commit sins? Are you perfect that you're giving me advice? And who are you that someone has to be perfect before they give you advice? Any Allah has to send you a prophet to give you advice, or can an imperfect person give you advice, and this again does has a lot to do with people not understanding how it works. Allah subhanaw taala in the Quran, commented on Bani Israel that can lay it on a homeowner among caring for Alou. They used to not forbidden evil that they themselves used to commit. And many Muslims today misunderstand this as hypocrisy. But
it's not that you can correct someone from making the mistake that you yourself commit,
you still have the obligation to correct that individual. And the scholars give an example. That's a hypothetical. And it's extreme. So you can understand to what level this goes. They said if six people were sitting next to each other, all of them consuming wine, it is still obligatory upon every one of them to tell the others It's haram and you shouldn't drink wine.
So a lot of people think isn't that hypocrisy. But the idea is that you always have an obligation to correct a mistake. That obligation does not disappear, because you're doing it at that moment, then you have the obligation of correcting the other person and the sin of doing it yourself. But it doesn't remove that obligation. So everyone has to correct a sin even if they commit it. And subhanAllah everyone understands this, except some Muslims, they think it's hypocrisy. But everywhere else, Alcoholics Anonymous, the instructor the man leading all the sessions, he himself a recovering alcoholic, and drug addiction clinics, you'll find people who were themselves were
addicts. They're the best people to correct. Even when the advice parents here in America about how to talk to your children about drugs, and they told them don't worry, you're not being a hypocrite, if you yourself did drugs and you're telling them Don't do drugs. Everyone understands this concept. It is not hypocrisy in this case. It is an obligation.
Or you give someone advice, and they remind you of your sins in the past. And make sure brothers and sisters you never ever do this to anyone who tries to correct you for the sake of Allah azza wa jal bring about their past sins and bring up things they've done in the past. This is an affair or an act feronia Like it's ironic act for own did this when Musa alayhis salam came and called him to Allah subhanaw taala what was his answer? He went back to the past, trying to mention a mistake Musa alayhis. Salam did even though that has nothing to do with with what you're being called to right now for the alum neuropathy in our EDA, whether it be stuffing I mean Amirah Cassini, without
electrical the default one terminal caffeine. What does that have to do with anything? He's telling him? Didn't we raise you here you stayed with us for a number of years and then you made that mistake that you made meaning when you accidentally killed the person that has nothing to do with it. But this is the style of fur on bringing up the past someone else's mistakes, even though they've changed now or maybe they're righteous now but you want to bring up their past. Another reason people don't accept advice is due to arrogance. And that's exactly how in Nabi SallAllahu Sallam when he defined arrogance, he said el Kebir Mombasa oral health will come upon us. He said
arrogance is to reject the truth, because Amato Nasya and you speak to people with with your nose up in a condescending manner. But he said it's to reject the truth. And that's why the Prophet salallahu Salam always accepted the truth and advice no matter who home it came from. One time the Jews came to a Nabi SallAllahu Sallam and they said the inner Kumu comb. Lola Nakum tuna dune. They said in a common call me like you are the best of people you are good people, except you do one thing wrong tuna Dune, so they heard the companions of the Prophet Lim would say whatever Allah and Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam wills, so that was a mistake. And the correction came from the Jews and
Nabi SallAllahu Sallam accepted it immediately. And he immediately went to his companions and he told them only say my
sha Allah no one else
with that will stop here in sha Allah and in the second Hotbot we'll look at some ways to get people to accept your advice hola hola hola was stopped for Allah Allah Allah Marie welcome in Gmail YouTube Festo Pharaoh fire frozen Mr. Fairey.
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Hill. I mean, one of the early he was a Jemaine about because there was little time we'll just go over some of the important points when offering advice to someone. Number one, do not give someone advice publicly. Because if you advise someone publicly, all you're doing is embarrassing them publicly. And following up nya hemma. Hola. He used to say a believer covers up and gives advice while a hypocrite exposes and humiliates when you advise someone publicly you just humiliate them, and Nabi SallAllahu Sallam whenever he wanted to give advice publicly. He said, he would say, ma do a qualm. Why do some people do this, this and
that he would not identify them or single them out publicly. The other thing is, a lot of people forget that when you're giving someone advice, don't just highlight the bad, but it makes good sense to mention what is good, or the good traits of the individual, and then give the advice of what needs to be corrected. Because when you do that the individual understands. And what you do is you bypass their ego, and you let them know that I think highly of you, I think well of you, I see a lot of good in you. And in that good. There's only one small negative, whereas we present as if you're just negative. And all I see is is as wrong. And I'm here to correct it. The other technique because
people hate to receive advice today, one of the techniques to get someone to accept your advice is to let them offer you advice first. So you can tell them, I've known you for this period of time, and I'm sure you've seen something wrong with me. So please give me advice and I'll accept it. Now when they give you advice. It is very hard for them. When you give them the advice, you want to reject it because they will feel hypocritical, they just advised you. And now they're rejecting advice that you're giving them. Another technique is to make a deal with someone that the two of you will exchange advice freely. So you want to give someone advice you don't know if they will accept
it, make a deal with them. That lets advise one another we both want to improve. We both want to become better believers and closer to Allah azza wa jal. So if you see something wrong with me, let me know. And if I see something wrong with you, I'll let you know. You agree and then the next or the third day, you can give them that advice, and it will be hard for them to reject it after the deal you made before.
Then name, make sure you give
advice that is well thought out. And for the right reasons, unlike what we call the Internet advice, where people are just calling each other out to embarrass them, or calling each other out to make themselves look good and righteous and religious. The advice has to be sincere. It has to be sincere and for the sake of Allah azza wa jal that you're correcting this individual because you want them to get closer to Allah subhanho wa taala.
And those people who don't accept as advice, it's as if they don't want to improve, that they would like to walk around with a fault or a flaw or a mistake. Whereas if someone has something stuck in their hair, and you corrected them, they would thank you because they don't want to walk around making a fool of themselves. Whereas they make a mistake religiously, and then you correct them so they can improve and they get upset. So then that means in conclusion, brothers and sisters, make sure you are not from those who get offended and upset when someone offers you sincere advice for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and second, make sure you are from those who offer sincere advice for
the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. That's how you correct individuals. That's how you correct the community. And that's how the OMA improves, but it starts with one advice at a time. And when we ignore such an important aspect, we ended up where we are today.
With that leske Allah azza wa jal to make use of those who recognize the truth as clear truth and follow the best of it and of those who recognize falsehood as clear falsehood and abstain from it. For Lahoma run out in the
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Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Shavon Lila