Forgiveness The Mark Of A Believer
Channel: Kamal El-Mekki
File Size: 16.83MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Question is, you know, what does it say forgiveness, the mark of the believer and usually forgiveness is done by Allah subhanaw taala.
So, definitely, then we're talking about the kind of forgiveness between individuals between human beings between one another.
So the mark of the believer then is to be forgiving with his brother forgiving with his sister, or forgiving with people in general.
This is something that we call
What do we call it?
A laugh, which really, if we translate it, it would mean pardoning when you pardon someone. Understand. And literally, it means when you overlook someone's fault, or overlook someone error, something that they did against you, and you overlook it. And it means to erase and remove the crime and its effects. And it's traced.
Does it have to be done? I'd rather see them
if it doesn't affect the camera. Alright,
I would have preferred to see, you know.
But so, so what what's the again, those of you who are taking notes, so laffel is when you pardon, and literally means like to drop, or to overlook. So someone does something to you, and you pardon them, you overlook what they did to or what they said to you, and you just drop it. This is called a laughable. There's a degree higher than that. It's called sub sub heads, like, literally to turn your face from what offense to turn your face from what offense. So I feel again, pardoning, that's when you, like, someone does something wrong against you, and you erase it for them, and you erase its effects. and stuff is a degree higher, because here, you don't get revenge. Like, like we said,
but you add to it that you take it out of your mind. You take it totally out of your mind, what does that mean? I'll explain. You find that Allah subhanaw taala, sometimes in the Quran will command us to do both. Allah subhanaw taala will say why foo was for her? Oh, well, yeah. foo? Well, yes. So they should pardon. And they should turn the other, turn away from it. So what does that mean? So for example, someone does something wrong to you. The options are, of course, one of them would be to retaliate. Someone says something bad to you, you say something bad back at them. And this is, of course, wrong. This is not what we're talking about. And pay attention. Because, you know, we saw
people in this conference, pushing and shoving and insulting one another. So when someone does something wrong to you, you pardon them. That's the first level, then a level higher than that would be
that you pardon them, you don't get back at them. You don't they insult you. You don't insult them back. They pushed you, you don't push them back. But you do something else. you erase it from your heart. you erase it from your heart, it doesn't affect you anymore, what they did to so let me give you a demonstration. So you know, let's use let's pick on the sisters. Yeah. So a sister offended another sister. She said something about, you know, your dress color, something you're wearing. So you get upset with her. But you made a fool. You didn't mention her ugly hijab or whatever else you want it to get back at her, you just let it slide. So he didn't say anything back at that system.
Now you have done good, you have pardoned. This is awful. But there's a higher level which you didn't do. So this is what happens. You every time you see that person your face changes. That's not stuff. Stuff is when you totally erase it from your heart, and it doesn't bother you anymore. So when you don't do stuff, this is what happens. You're laughing with with a bunch of other sisters. You're having a good time and then that sister who offended you and you forgave her, she enters the room. So what happens? You're laughing? You see her?
This is you pardon her? You didn't insult her back. You didn't do anything bad. You did your job. That's good. But there was still something left in your heart. That's why when you saw her you were laughing You saw her face again.
Why? Because you didn't do stuff. And that's why you start to see now stuff is the higher level. And when we're given two levels, which one do we aim for?
The higher the progress told us to ask for which level of paradise. The highest always you always aim high. always aim high.
With the religion just like you aim high with the dunya. So this is stuff.
All right. So now we see that many eyes and many Heidi are commanding to do to pardon our food and stuff as well. And we see this was the way of the Prophet Sol, La, La La La he was in LA. So for example, you look at the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and what happened in the Battle of which group of people disobeyed the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam
the archers, okay, so one person knows that very good. So the archers disobeyed the Prophet sallallahu sallam, was there ever any Hadith that anytime after I heard the promiseland once said to them, You disobeyed God. And you see what happened to the Muslims? Not one time, because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he made a fool and never ever mentioned it again. Also notice, the prophet SAW Selim never mentioned because you know, in the Battle of the room, didn't want to go out and fight. He wanted to wait in Medina for the crush, but he consulted the companions. And they had the opinion that they should go out and he didn't want to. Did he ever in any narration one day,
tell them you see, it was your bad opinion that God has killed? Not one time. Why? Because he made
And of course, many other examples, those who fled from a hardware never reprimanded those who stayed behind in to book it after it was over there were never any reprimanded or bothered with it again. So this is from the example of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, you also see that they remember in favor after hiber the Jewish woman tried to poison the Prophet sallallahu sallam, right? She put the poison in his food. What did he do? He pardoned her as well. She tried to take his life and she tried to kill the Prophet of Allah sallallahu sallam, and he pardoned her. So just imagine this. Yeah, imagine how the prophets of Allah Salaam pardoned what she, who was was she,
the one who killed hands out of the line, and that was very dear to the prospect lamp, but he pardoned him as well. He caught he pardoned another man who was in a way really responsible for the death of the daughter of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. He pardoned Abdullah no baby saloon who said some horrible things about the prophets of Salaam and the Muslims. pardon them as well. And there are some people yeah, so look at this then if you look at someone trying to kill you, and you pardon them, compare that to the things that we can't forgive each other for some of it ridiculous, ridiculous things, you know, and, and I don't know what the youth are bickering about these days but
you know, maybe somebody you know this you Yeah, disrespected you or something like that. Or did not give you props or something. Whatever you fight over these days. Yeah. And in even in the massage Danny rose, we're giving each other the mean I and stuff
can pardon over dumb things garbage. You know, you didn't give me back my Xbox, or you gave it back to me there was a scratch on it are
ridiculous things. So think about someone trying to take your life and you pardon them, versus the things that we can't forgive each other for. So let's look at examples.
years some examples of the other profits as well. Yeah, Paul ballet Salah. Who did he forgive?
Who did he forgive?
Who can tell me?
His sons, right? His four sons. He forgave them for what they did to us.
How about us? They sent him. He said, After all, it was said and done and his family was in front of him. He told them let the three ballet come along. He's not going to retaliate. is not going to reprimand them. He's not even going to question them. Well, I just want to know why you did it. I'm not gonna do anything. But just tell me why you did that. And what did they do to him? His brothers? Because him the pain of leaving his father, not just any father. Yeah. And now he doesn't get the mercy of his father the companionship and the teachings of his father. What do I mean by teachings of his father? They didn't take him away from any father. His father was a prophet. And imagine
you're not just missing out on bedtime stories and stuff is serious. You're missing out on teachings and being raised by a prophet of Allah. And then they throw him in a well and how how comfortable is that?
Then he was sold into slavery. And not only that, it was kind of insulting the way they sold him into slavery as a seller. Because Allah Subhana Allah says no foreign worker, no fee minister hidden, so they actually, you know, sold them for a very low price. Another one. Okay.
Tony, how would you feel about that the auction you offer a cheap price, you know, for the fundraising. We've been one of you up here, okay, who will pay for this brother?
$5. One person's like, okay, $5 How would you feel?
All right. So, and on top of that, what happens when he starts, he ends up working in someone's home, he goes to prison. And when he gets the chance to get revenge from them, he pardons them. And he does stuff as well, because he doesn't ever mention it and say, well, just out of curiosity, why did you do that to me? So, this is examples from the prophets are seldom from the prophets iacob and use of, we look also from the lives of the companions of the Prophet sallallahu sallam,
I work for the laguan, who he forgave a man by the name of Mr. Abbey, Mr. Who was one of the companions of the process alum who attended the Battle of butter. But at the same time, he had said some things and some accusations about it, Chateau de la Juana. And it caused really a big fitna and a big commotion in Medina. And so when I actually was proclaimed innocently below on her, oh, Booker knew when he knew it was Misbah. First he said that he is not here, because Mr. was poor. Oh, Booker used to give him money. He used to help him and assistant, so he said, I'm not going to help him anymore. And so Allah subhanaw taala. Yeah. And he revealed in the Quran, that, that
St. That he shouldn't do that, and that they should keep pardon, and they should keep doing good. So that alone will do good for him. So basically, immediately. Now, look here, so he pardoned him. And he did something. He never ever once went back to him and said, Look, just let me know, why did you do that? He totally erased it from his heart. But he did something higher level he did.
He kept giving him and this we're gonna look at as the highest level. Imagine someone says something bad about you. So you pardon. And you erase it from your heart. And on top of that, you do something nice for them. Just think now to yourself is what would happen to that individual who said some bad things about you? And you were very nice to them and you gave them a gift? What do you think would happen to that person? And how would they regard you from that day forward? is a story about Allison, the son of added nebbia polyp, and it is said that he was you know, at home with guests and the servant came and he brought food, and he kind of tripped and spilled this food on the lawn, and
the food was hot. So
he ruined his clothes, and he also burned them on top of that, so it hasn't got very angry. So the servant Then he told them to he said he recited to him a verse from the Quran. Because these people probably lavon home, when they heard a verse from the Quran, they stop immediately. And Allah says, Stop, they stop. Whether they're angry, they're in the middle of something unless they stop, they stop immediately. It's the opposite. From our times, now, you're doing something they tell you.
You can't do it, oh, well, maybe there's a different meaning. Or maybe that's one might have been maybe always 1,000,001 excuses to keep doing something. But
so here the servant said,
well, cattlemen alive. So here are those who suppress their anger from the Koran. He said this, those who suppress their anger. So then he calmed down immediately, he heard the verse saying those who control their temper the control their anger, he immediately controlled his anger, he calmed down. So then the servant continued, saying, well, I afina and in us were laughing from our food, and those who pardoned people, so Allah is mentioning good characteristics of the believers, they control their temper, they pardoned people, and then so then and hasn't said, that,
I have pardoned you.
So then, and he says, and I will never punish you ever for this ever. So then the seven continued, will law who you have with mercy Nene. And Allah loves those who do good to others. And so then and hasn't tells him You are free for the sake of Allah. You see how he immediately reacts to the Ayat of Allah subhanaw taala.
Also you find the Imam at hem Allah, and he was, you know, imprisoned for many years and beaten and taken away from his family and he
His children and all of that. And then after he was set free, people would come to him hoping they know that he still has a lot of anger and his heart against the people who put him in jail for no reason. And how would you feel if someone did that to you? So they would come in and try to see if he would say anything bad about them. And he wouldn't say they would say, you know, get revenge from them. He would say, No, that's okay. At least make do against them. At least make draw against them.
You know, I need to understand what's so exciting. Somebody's telling me
can be more exciting than me here. And just kidding. One comedian said, he said, I love myself so much. I wake up early, just to spend more time with myself.
Alright, people, please let's pay attention is I think it's the last talk of the day. No, no, there's one more long day but
we're here for the sake of Allah inshallah. So just contain yourselves. And we'll be done in about 25 minutes or maybe less. If you're good. I'll let you out early about that. Deal.
So then the three degrees of, of any pardoning that we mentioned, the first degree is you don't retaliate. You don't punish the person back. So if they hit you, you don't hit them back. If they say something bad against you with their tongue, you don't say anything bad against them, and you control your temper. Now, controlling your temper is something that's difficult. The interesting thing is that most people boast about their bad manners. And how many times have you heard a story from a friend of yours that goes like this? You know, that guy insulted me. You know, he got up in my face. He disrespected me. You know what I did to him? I pardon him. Just pardon him.
That would be a story worth telling. Because you know something I will be amazed by that person said she's like Hello, hate on Mashallah. I'm really impressed. Because you did something difficult. What's the easy thing?
To get back at them?
To get back at them is that is that is the easy thing. So someone insults you, you insult them back? That's really easy. But most people brag about the easy thing. I don't know why they do that. So they'll come and say, well, the guy insulted me. So I got up in his face and I let him have it. Sharla that's easy. Why are you bragging about that? So the difficult thing really is to control your temper.
Everybody shut the front door.
Few people got it. Okay.
it goes like this. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam described in a hadith
that whoever controls his anger, I brothers, I know you're all you know, your bad guys. No ruffins that listen to this Howdy. Okay. Okay. whoever controls his anger while he's able to erupt. Okay, so you're able to do something about it and go off. President said whoever controls his anger while he is able to erupt?
Allah subhanaw taala will call him on the day of judgment in front of all the people. And he will get his first pick of an herb to be his wife's.
So the sisters might be thinking, you know,
what, what about us? You know, always sometimes sisters, sometimes they get attitude when you say the reward for men is this sisters are like, you know, they want to start already, and they want attitude and stuff. There's no need for attitude. You can be 100% sure, that Allah subhanaw taala. If he gives a reward for a man, he's no way Allah Subhana Allah is going to leave you and not give you your reward. Okay, but this is a specific idea that mentions the reward. For men, it does not mean there's no reward for sisters who control their temper. It doesn't mean that. But I want us to think about a couple of things in this hadith.
The prophets of Allah Himself said that this person will be called in front of everyone to to make his pick. Alright, so the question is, why did they call him in front of everyone? Because usually when something is difficult, the reward is great. So controlling the temper is something difficult. It's difficult. If you can do it, that's something we can boast about. So because he did something difficult, the reward was so great. And that's why he's called in front of everyone. So who can tell me the difference between him being cold in front of everyone? And he's just given the choice in his own Palace in general. What's the difference?
What's the difference? Why would they call him in front of everybody? Or in front of everybody?
I know the hip stuff I'm very well aware. Come on, somebody told me, what's the difference? Someone has their hand up? Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, because of the noise. I can't hear you.
Say one more time, please. Sorry.
Ah ha, see the brothers smart. Mashallah, he said so that everybody could recognize and see that. Because you know, something, when you're given a reward in front of people, it makes it even more special, true or false. That's why we have something called the award.
ceremony, right? So if you go to this school, for example, and you know, you're, you're very good, whatever hall monitor, you do something good, whatever it is, and they want to give you a reward. Tell me which would make you happier. The principal calls you into his or her office, they're like, you know, you we recognize the good work you've done. This is a an award for you. And they give you this plaque and, you know, some kind of gift card. Thank you, is that would that make you happier, or they put the whole school in the auditorium like this, and then they put the podiums in the light. And then they invite you upstage, and they give you the prize in front of everybody.
No doubt the second one, right? Because it makes it greater now the reward is greater because it's given to you in front of people, you are chosen out of all these people. So that's why the reward is so great, because the action itself was so great, controlling your temper, that something that's difficult, so that everyone in the room now
control your temper. And when you control your temper, then that's something that's an achievement. When you insult someone back, anyone can do that go right now in the street, see how many people are able to have doing capable of doing that? They'll get back at you with their tongue, and they'll even speak to you in French. You don't speak French don't use sign language. Not Not this French, the other French understand. So that's easy. So that's the first level is you leave, you don't retaliate. You don't hit you don't say anything bad back to the person.
The second level is that you leave you don't do anything back to the person, but at the same time.
Yeah, and if this is the person who doesn't do something, every time he remembers that event, he gets really upset, you know, and he's always mentioning it to people.
That you know, this brother did so and so and he's angry while he's telling you the story. He did this to me did that to me. But I forgive him brother.
relax a little bit, it doesn't look like you forgive him. So the higher level then is that you don't even mention the, the the incident and you don't mention it to the person who did it to you. You never bring it up. Why? Because it doesn't. It's not there anymore. It's gone. erased it.
And you forget the whole affair. This is the higher degree.
Okay, so the first degree was just regarding the incident itself, someone insulted you, you didn't insult him back. The second one is you change how you feel over a long period of time or over the long run, you change how you feel inside a third level is to combine the first two. So you pardon. you erase it from your heart. You don't mention it again. You don't your face doesn't turn sour. When you see the person, you don't mention it to him, and you do something good to them. He does something good to that.
john, who are the people that were supposed to do awful with
and generally laughing and enough enough means Muslims or non Muslims alike. So
you're to do with your family first and foremost, brothers and sisters, so your siblings and you can do it with your parents and your parents do with you. This is something that you put into action immediately.
so with your brothers and sisters, because a lot of times we were nice to strangers, nice to people we see sometimes in the masjid, but you're the meanest to your brothers and sisters, the ones that and your siblings in your house. Oh, you're super mean to them over who is super mean to them. Very mean to them. Extremely mean to them. With brothers you like
all this stuff about Gen milotic to paradise in the rivers, with your brother at home and then
Whoever insults follow, maybe beatings, you know, knock him on the head, whatever happens. No awful people if you think this stuff only applies to the streets, no first in the house, pardon, forgive. And you know what? When you forgive someone, they they rarely offend you again in the same way, very rarely. So
what's difficult about pardoning people?
It's difficult because you're neffs yourself, you have your exile, you have your pride. You know, you have your ego, you have your reputation. So that's what makes it so difficult for people to pardon.
I'll give you an example.
How awful Jani. How great it is and how it makes your life easier. Okay. Please pay attention to these next points. Because a lot of how Darla does awful. He pardons us. It makes our life easier in Islam, Allah pardon so many things. For example, if you if you have Waldo, and you have like a small cut, small paper cut, does that invalidate your will do? Its mouthful, it's pardoned? How about very little amount of nudges? Does that invalidate your will do or something? For example,
I'll give you an explicit example here. You know, you're sitting in a park bench. And then the right next to you some dog left some fresh, say brownies. Okay, fresh. You saw a fly, come sit on it, and then fly and land on your neck. And you felt something a little cold. You know?
So you know what happened?
You know what's going on? So then what happens? You have to go wash and Mick will do and all these things.
It's my fault. It's pardoned. It's a little bit of an adjustment. It's pardoned. This how it makes your life easy. Imagine that little.of ninja was not pardoned in the Sharia and Islamic law, you would have to be washing all day. So it's pardoned. It makes your life easier. How about when you're fasting? And you make Well, do you have a little bit of wetness left in your mouth? Your mouth is a little wet. Is that okay?
Yes or no?
Everybody knows that. It's Yes, it's part it's okay. You find some people to exaggerate this bit, like 100 times split splits, make sure no witness goes down their throat. But no, that's actually the wetness is pardoned in the Sharia, you know. So it makes your life easier again, and many other things like even when someone is killed by accident, or someone who's killed the parent that only the family has the option to pardon the individual as well.
So the APU that Allah does towards us makes our life easier. And like we mentioned yesterday, Allah also, part of it is that he he pardons our mistakes, and he doesn't punish us for them right now.
are we doing? Okay, good, very good.
And just, I'll close with this. That's something they're actually Yeah, they're sometimes some people are not pardoned in Islam. These will be people who are like, let's say, the equivalent of war criminals, something like that. And in a war criminal, someone who butchered 1000s of people can't just come and say, you know, of losses, we know what, for what, for who? So let me just walk through it. So there are certain limits. Also. That's why if you read the seed of the Prophet salallahu,
Alayhi, wasallam, you'll find that certain people the President did not forgive at all, because their crimes were to that level. So he didn't make up who in that case.
There was a story is a dispute between Abdullah and Isabel or the alarm on home, and between him and Malia, over some land. So it is said that
he wrote a letter to Maui that was a bit harsh. You see, it's a bit hard in language. So Malia wanted to use this opportunity to raise his son properly.
So he gave the letter to his son yazeed. And he told them read it. So he read it, he tells him what do you think? So is he said, I think you should send him an army.
Okay, listen to what he's saying. You should send him an army now. When the head when the front of the vanguard of the army reaches him. The back of the army is still here. What does that mean?
You understand what that means. I mean, this army so huge and so long, that it keeps marching when they reach the front of the army reaches his area, the back of the army. It's so long the line is still here.
That's his answer. That's his son's answer. So then his father wanted to teach him the value of when you gain someone's respect, and you gain someone to your side, using good manners using pardon. Because he could have responded he had more power, he could have responded with a harsher letter, no problem. So he writes him a letter. So listen to the letter.
because this is the bare igneel,
the disciple of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. So he said, I read the letter of the son of the disciple of the Prophet tulips in him, he mentioned him in the best way, not just about the loudness of the son of the disciple of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and I was very hurt by what hurt him. So the fact that you were upset with me, that upset me, I didn't want you to be upset with me.
And the whole dunya the whole world and everything in it is nothing to me, compared to pleasing you. Look at these words, everything in the world is nothing to me compared to you being pleased with me. So now I have because the dispute was over some kind of land. So he says, Now, I have any kind of 10 as well.
Okay, so what's 10 110 as well.
Give up, okay, so, so I've given up my share or my my rights to the land, and with the servants in it, and everything in it to you.
For so combine it to your land was cinematic. Imagine a letter like that. So then, when that letter reach our beloved Isabella, he was absolutely so pleased. And he wrote back to Mario, another very, very nice letter. And then
he showed it to his son yazeed. And he taught him the value didn't look at the answer I got now from him, because I was nice to him. Look what happened. And this is something that you know, if someone does anything wrong to you, and you forgive him, and you pardon, and you turn and erase it, and then you do something nice to them, imagine that someone just last week, he said, some really horrible things about you. And then you pardoned them, and you forgive them. And then next week, you give them a gift. Yeah, see, that person will be so ashamed of you that when you walk in the room, they'll probably look down because of how they wronged you and how good you were to them. compare
the results of being good to someone versus you know, you get up in their face, you insult them, they insult you back, and then you do all that what what what stuff, a lot of questions being asked, and then what happens? Do you hate each other for the rest of the year? Every time you see each other? I mean, I, you stare at me frowns at you all that stuff. So.
So the benefits then of pardoning people, the benefits of treating people gently is that you win the hearts of people. I'll conclude with this is that some people cannot differentiate between Afu. And
so there basically is when you kind of
Yeah, and he kind of like you lower yourself in a way that's not proper. So what's the difference between that and just pardoning someone? And, you know, Allah says that the difference between Afu pardoning someone, and the rule is when you let someone humiliate you, is that when you have if you have you, you let it go out of your generosity out of your goodness, well, you have the ability to do something about it. You see the difference between pardoning and humiliating yourself, when you pardon someone, that's when you have the ability to say something bad to them, the ability to hit them back the ability to push them back, but you don't do it. Here you have pardon. But if you don't
have the ability to hit them, or push them back or retaliate, then it's not really. So for example, any
you know, the young kids amongst you Who will you know, when you're being stuffed by the school bully into your locker while he's pushing in the locker, you can't tell him before he slams the locker door in your face. I pardon you. Because you're not able to do anything anyways. You understand? But when you have the ability to pardon someone and you are get back at them and you let them go, that's pardoning. So we're not telling you to like to humiliate yourself or anything but to to do a fool to pardon people to burden your brothers and your sisters at home and your brothers and your sisters in the masjid. And please, people can Islam is not just some kind of fashion, all
right. It's not just hats we put on and things we
Do it and a few phrases we say, you know, some people think Islam you gotta have
and if you want to be really really, you know, like hardcore you got to miswak and you use it the whole time look at brother in law, and you just say things like hum de la la, barque la Vic takbeer de la. That's Islam Mashallah to those people. You know what we hear in Islamic conferences a lot of pushing and shoving a lot of bad words a lot of bad manners. big guys don't want to make off with the small guys and when I say big guys, you know Somalis, you guys get big, you know, guys this tall talking to a guy this small he wants to crush him. Mashallah. So come on people who don't want to just learn things and just attend conferences so we can feel that we did something Islamic for the
year. You know, many people are like that they come to a conference and say, well, hamdulillah 2008 I can exit out the calendar. I went to one Islamic conference, I did my job. No, we're here. We learn these things. Let's put it to action in sha Allah.
I'll conclude there in sha Allah.
subchronic alohomora bonaga Hamrick. Illa Allah and Allah, wa salam, O,
Allah Allah, Allah Allah.
Allah, tala barakato