Maqasid al-Shariah 5: Preservation of Family
Channel: Ismail Kamdar
File Size: 16.84MB
In this final lecture on Maqasid al-Shariah, Shaykh Ismail discusses the preservation of lineage, honour and families as interlinked goals of the Shariah.
hamdulillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam, ala Nabeel Karim, Allah, Allah, he was happy
to welcome you all to today's lesson. And
just before we get started with today's topic, just a brief notice on this, we are about eight weeks away from Ramadan. Right. So we'd have to stop before that now my initial plan was, we're going to do one more week of mocassin. And then do six weeks of the quiet. But we one week short in time, we don't have enough time to do that. Right. So I was going to do one movie Kamikaze next week, there was going to be the Tascam DR. Dan hydrea.
We don't necessarily need a full hour for that. So I will try to summarize that today as part of today's topic.
And next week, inshallah, perhaps Next week, we'll start the year. And we'll cover that up until just before Ramadan, okay, and then we take a break here. So just to make sure we cover everything, before we move forward. And we'll finish off with the VA constitution here today. Right. So again, what I'm going to cover today is supposed to be two weeks, I'm going to cover what's in the slides and a little bit extra that I was going to cover next week, just so that we finish everything before Ramadan begins. So today's topic, we are going to look at the final of the five Juliet, which is the preservation of the Finola give it different names, preservation of NASA, NASA is
all different terminologies that refer to the same thing. And we're going to look at it from all these different perspectives,
essentially, preservation of family values and family as a whole, and the lineage and the honor of individuals. So very briefly, let's recap. What we covered from week one to four, we are looking at the maqasid asturia. The higher objectives of Islamic law, right? Meaning we are looking at the wives we're looking at why did Allah subhanho wa Taala give us these laws? What's the wisdom behind the laws, and how this affects our understanding of the laws? And we said the importance of this topic is people are more motivated to follow a law when they understand why. Right, and this is why I really believe we need to take the subject. And we need to bring it down to a high school level, a
primary school level he needs to be taught at every level. In the past, this was taught only to Obama either only taught as part of tools of HDR. Now we need to bring it at every level because we live in the era of why
in vitro recovered the primary goal of the Sharia, which is the attainment of Muslim benefit and the prevention of Masada harm. And we said that all of the Sharia revolves around these two things. All of the Sharia revolves around the attainment of benefit, and the removal of harm
Okay, we'll continue from there. Right. So we said that the Sharia revolves around the attainment of benefit and the removal of harm. And we said that the benefits are divided into dooryard hajia into seniors, that the necessity is that which the Sharia our that which is necessary for life, that which is necessary to live life, the hygiene that which is needed to take care of what is necessary, and that that senior that which gives us a high quality of life. And we said that the jury had a five
out of five, our fate our lives, our intellect, our wealth, and our family.
So in victory, we covered fate and life victory, we learned that the primary goal of the Sharia is to protect two things to protect the religion as a whole from being distorted and to protect our individual demand from going away right to protect our demand from collapsing.
And there we said the second goal in terms of necessities is to protect our lives so that people feel safe so that people can live without worrying about being murdered and things like that. So the second goal was the protection of human life. And with that also we included plants
live animal life and other types of lives as well.
Then last week, last week, we covered number three and 4.3 and four, the protection of intellect, and wealth. So we said, without intellect you cannot live like, right? If you look at people who are addicted to alcohol or drugs or people who have mental health problems, it dramatically affects the quality of their life. Now, mental health problems is something people don't have control over. It makes many cases, they're the shalya excuses them, right, the shalya excuses people from being vocal left or being responsible for the needs when they add a certain level where they don't know what they are doing. Whether it's right or wrong, I really can't think properly. But when it's caused by
drugs and alcohol and things like that, then they are still responsible for what they do, because this is self inflicted removal of internet. And then we looked at the preservation of wealth, the Sharia gives everybody the right of ownership, the right to earn the right to spend the right to, to amass wealth, but with a few conditions, your business must be halaal, you must treat people well you must discharge this occur, you must contribute to society. So now we come to the final one, and inshallah This will be our final lecture on this topic. The final one, which some of the olema called the preservation of lineage, some called the preservation of honor, some called the
preservation of family, and I will discuss it from all three of these angles, right, that's what we're going to focus on. Today, I protection of lineage, honor, and family, I will cover all three angles. And you'll see, all three refer to the same physical rulings, they all refer to the same things being made, Mr. O'Hara is just different orlimar look at from different angles. So some of them do things from one angle and said, this is the goal. So if we look from another angle, see, no, this is the goal. In reality, all of these goals go together. It's not like one or the other, they all they don't contradict each other, they all work with each other.
Right, so let's start off with the most common of the three, the majority of books of maqasid. They refer to the first of the Juilliard as the preservation of NASA or NASA, I go to these words mean the same thing, lineage. Meaning.
What this means is that in the Sharia, people have the right to know who their parents are, who their forefathers are, right? Children have the right to be born legitimately. Everyone should know why they ascended and who are the descendants. This is a basic human right in Islam. This is a basic human right in Islam, that you should know who your father is, you should know who your grandfather is, you should know these things. And when you look at the modern world, when they did away with marriage, in many cultures, you know, when they embrace the sexual revolution, one of the first negatives or harms to come out of that is we now have entire generations of communities where people
don't know who their fathers are. People literally don't know who their fathers are, and the amount of psychological problems This has caused in those communities. It's unbelievable. I mean, almost any problem in these communities, you can trace it back to someone not knowing who the father is almost anything, it's it affects people on a very deep psychological level, when they have no idea who the father is, or even worse, they know the father abandoned them. And he was just, you know, an accident or something like that. This is a very serious issue. And so the Sharia treats it so seriously, that is one of the five primary goals of the Sharia.
And it's the primary goal of the Sharia, for very obvious reason. Humans don't go extinct. Right? If humans don't have children, we go extinct. Not just humans, but Muslims as well. So the Prophet Mohammed Salah, good advise the Sahaba and every generation after them to get married and have lots of children so that the oma will be many of the Day of Judgment. And so one of the reasons why the oma is growing still and why in many countries, Muslims are growing in number fostered in other religions, is because we practice this because we still get married, we still have a future, maybe not having as much as we were a generation or two ago, but still more than everybody else. Right? So
my grandparents generation and the present generation, they're, what 15 children 10 children, now it's down to four or five children is still more than everybody else. Because if you look at those who have embraced liberal ideas, they don't want you to just want a dog or a cat. That's all they want, right? Or if they have a child to accident, and he's just one. So this is actually something that the governments are worried about, that the rate of that we are growing and the rate at which they are not growing, Muslims will outnumber non Muslims in these countries, simply by the fact that we have more children.
Right, so he's not even a matter. And that's not even taking into account the amount of people who convert to Islam. Now that says doubles the growth rate. So, preservation of Islam to make sure that Islam survives, there must be a continuation of lineage, there must be Muslims having children, them, having children, them having children onwards until the end of time.
And the two primary laws around which this entire concept revolves around is the prevention of Xena and the institution of marriage. Right. So these two are opposites. And throughout these next four slides, you're going to cover these two over and over again from a variety of angles. But essentially, these are the two main opposites to each other in Australia, Xena and the car, when it comes to this, this issue, and everything else comes along with it, everything else is a byproduct of it. Anything else that somebody is going to do wrong in this area is either a form of Xena or related to Zina or a consequence of Xena. And anything else that becomes an obligation or becomes
recommended or becomes a need is part of marriage or leading to marriage or a result of marriage. Right. So for example, the rights of children is a result of marriage. The whole process of finding a spouse is a high gr a need to get married, it facilitates the process of marriage. So these are the two main laws, Xena is prohibited. If you look at it from this angle, so remember, we're looking at it from three different angles, lineage, honor and family from the angle of lineage is Xena is prohibited? Why? Why?
Because in his in our culture, people don't know who their fathers are. A lot of people don't know, it becomes confusing, it becomes confusing to know who your father is. Right? So the lineage is broken. And marriage is recommended, because in marriage, there is legitimate births. Everyone knows who their parents are.
And so what the Obama who take this perspective, say is that the preservation of honor and family are a byproduct of the preservation of the nation. So these are secondary to the preservation of leadership. So this perspective is this sherea focuses on protecting lineage, and through that on it and family are protected as well. Now, the second perspective,
the second perspective is that the goal behind these laws is the protection of honor. And the prediction of lineage is part of the prediction of one, it's not separate to it. I because if someone has a child outside of marriage, it is considered in our religion, dishonorable, right, and it does have negative impact on both the mother and the child's life and their mental well being. So prediction of honor is in the view of some of the olema, the primary goal and the others being the consequence of that.
So honor is that is something that's needed to live a good life and to achieve inner peace and happiness. But before we actually get into that, what honor
now many years ago wanted to give a Juma football about Islam. And one of my friends told me, no one talks about this, this is a ancient context. Right? So what is what is, what does it mean?
Any ideas? Well, how would you define honor, which is I'm going to ask you what to honor.
Because the only way the kids know about the word honor today is the name of the video games, right? Otherwise, this word doesn't exist. What honor honor simply means living a respectable life, living a life in such a way that people have no reason to doubt your your character. That's what it is. You live your life in such a way people can doubt your character, that you leave no room for doubt. In every way from the way you conduct yourself in business, to your character, to your manners, your modesty, the avoidance of Zina, after getting married to the way you raised your children to the way you teach your spouse, the way you treat your neighbors. All of it is done in a way where nobody can
say this is a bad person. Right? This is what honor is it's your character. It's your
the way you conduct yourself. So it includes hire. It includes a HELOC. It includes other it includes
chastity, staying away from Xena, all of this is inclusive.
So when you look at Ana, we don't looking at just one thing.
We're looking at a variety of things. So this includes higher now I translated higher as modesty.
Reality is there is no English equivalent to the word higher. Some people translate it as shyness, some translated as shame, some translated as modesty.
But the problem with all three of these words in the English language, all three of these words have some kind of negative connotation. And the word shame in English doesn't have the same meaning.
As she as higher in, in Arabic, obviously you have no shame.
You know, this is our usage of it, but for other people is we don't shame him for for doing what he likes, it's a constant negative to them. So what is the word higher mean in English, we can't really give it an exact definition. I was thinking about this before, before it started. And I came to a conclusion. My conclusion is the reason why we don't have an English translation for the word hire is because the modern culture has no hire. So you don't need a word. Right? This concept doesn't exist in the modern culture, it's, it's a bit higher culture to put it that way. It's a culture where everything goes. So this word doesn't even exist in the vocabulary. Hire means to feel a sense
of guilt or shame, or to feel bad when you do something wrong. That's what it actually means to feel bad, when you do something wrong a higher level of demand is to have a man needs to feel that higher when you do something more cool. Right? So for example, if you look at Osman Ron who was considered the person who had the most hire, ever, right, and this is a very important concept because again, part of Indian culture that the highest female thing, it's both because the person with the most higher was who are smart, a man, right, so higher is not a female thing is for me and females are smarter, they only had so much higher that the prophets always stated that the angels would feel a
sense of shyness around him, because the level of higher was that much that the angels would like, you know, feel a sense of, of respect for him.
smarter, higher was such that when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to sit in his house,
he would be sit dressed and relaxing, like how anyone else sits in the house. And he says like he should know his knee was exposed. I will buckle came to visit he carried on sitting that's his best friend. He said like that to each other woman came, same thing. As soon as this man came to the house, the profit slice I'm set up straight, and covered his knees and shins, and he said properly. So when this man lit Abubakar was, you know, he was confused. So he asked the Prophet, Allah Islam that for me and Omar, you know, the last position was man come to sit up straight. And that's when the prophets have said, should I have hired for someone who even the angels have hired for? So this
hire is part of a quantum right, that was man, he had this level of self respect, that even the Prophet Oisin would feel like a self have a sense of respect for him. So when we thinking about honor, think about that, when people see us, when people are around us, do they behave differently in essentially behaviors, better Muslims in our company, or they feel they can do whatever they want in front of us just give you an example. If you have Iza and hire, people will not use vulgar language in your presence, because they feel a sense of shame for using that language when they around you. Right? People won't smoke in your presence, because they feel a sense of shame to do
that in your presence. Now, if people feel uneasy to do these kinds of things in your presence, that means you do have a level of desire, you do have a level of higher, and people can sense that without you saying a word without you doing a thing, the people around you can sense it. And when they sense it, they react differently, they behave differently. So how they will behave around others, they won't behave around you, if they are if they're a bunch of boys who are like staring at a woman and you come into the presence and they all immediately start feeling a bit of shame for doing that. That means they can sense your higher and it rubs off on today.
So is is very important. So some of the allama dc This is a a side effect of preserving lineage others you know, this is number one and preserving the image is a side effect of preserving your honor. Because if you live in honorable life, by default, your lineage is going to be continued in a normal manner. You're not going to do anything dishonorable in this area is include our o'clock hour adapt. How do we conduct ourselves? How do we deal with people? important question, what's the difference between a dog and a flock between manners and character?
I normally put my kids on the spot as this one. I see. Adults cannot see it.
And I want to be clocked in. What's the difference between
Oh, how would you define the difference though? Because for some people, the two words mean the same thing. Lock character adapt manners. What's the difference?
no connection with your heart. Very good.
Excellent. Excellent. Is the executive finishing the exact definition in the books of test here?
Is your inner capital.
that was completely coincidental. I did not know that.
the the the definition is a flop is what's inside of you
is what you do. general rule people can fake adapt, they can't fail.
So for example, shaking people's hands greeting them saying please thank you that's having humility in your heart. That's
so you can fake being humble in terms of your other you can fake you know, some of the people they say to that handshake and, and that said smile and they waited 30 close to that big humility, right. But if there is given in the heart, it manifests in some way or the other. You can't fake the condition of the heart. And so one stems from the other. What's more important in our religion, the HELOC because when the HELOC comes, right, the adverb is a side effect of that, and this is why the prophets lie some stated that the lump of flesh in the body if it is, if it is right, if it is correct, then everything else is correct. And if it is corrupted, everything else becomes corrupted.
And he pointed and he said it is the heart. So we start with our club. Now the mistake we make nowadays in our schools, and what lessons we teach our children what other aid we teach them, the outward way, the kurata way they shake their hands. cgrp say this say that we don't teach them, connect your heart to Allah, have humility in the heart, have sugar in the heart, have sovereign in the heart. We don't teach in this. And so as a result, what's left is a skeleton of Islam, without the heart of Islam. And it's empty, it becomes empty, and it falls apart very easily. So we must start from the inside and work our way out. Now all of this is part of one. So if someone has Iza,
they have a flock they have a dub they have hire all of this is together is
and why is is one of the buryat simple. You don't have a cell and the words of the prophets, Allah Tomita Hadees. If you have no higher Do as you wish. Now this Hadees is not a command. It's a form of sarcasm. It's a it's a warning, right? The prophets voice I've stated, if you have no higher Do as you wish, what does that mean? It means when a person loses the hire, when they lose their visa, what are they going to do? Anything and everything, anything and everything? Right? You want a case study? America, right? USA Today, that's a case study of what happens in an entire nation together, collectively has a sexual revolution in diversity hire.
I mean, if you ever see period pieces about America 50 to 100 years ago, and you see how modestly dressed the woman up. And you see how people are concerned more about getting married, and how people have good character and they care for the neighbors. And you know, people have this sense of community, and then you fast forward to 2020. And it's like, what happened in 100 years. What happened was when you lose hire, do as you wish that's what happened. And that's happening to Muslims in South Africa. That is happening to Muslim youth Africa, because now we are in a situation in South Africa where Muslims want to do anything and everything when it comes to sex. I mean, when
I was a child,
Muslim boys and girls wanted to date, but they knew it was hot.
Nowadays, you don't even think it's how did you how much was it that like way beyond that, that's like normal. So things are going out of control when it comes to hail. And what you need to do is you need to go back to teaching our children is teaching them on teaching them good character, teaching them modesty. And we covered this a few weeks ago, when I said that when your kids come of age, when they're 11, or 12 years old, you have to sit them down and have a talk not just to talk about how this whole thing works on a biological level. But more importantly, on the ISA, and on the clock and on the on the modesty and character that is required, often as a Muslim man or Muslim
woman, to have that talk with you, and you are a Muslim. And this is what we do. This is what we don't do. This is what a lot expects from you, and to educate you to engage with them on that level. This has to be done by parents today. Because if we are not having that talk with our kids, they are learning about all of these concepts from people who have no higher and the learning volume of people who have no higher they are learning about it in the worst possible way and who the consequences can be. Basically the consequences is these maqasid won't exist in our society in the next generation. That's the consequences. We will not preserve any of these new rules.
So this perspective, is that honor is primary
achieved through marriage and avoiding cinema. And because of that lineage and family are a byproduct, they are preserved to the preservation of one interesting point.
In the film industry, in the books written by scholars who are primarily fixed scholars, I find the focus more on the preservation of the image. But in the books or magazines, written primarily by sponsors of the soul of the focus in one exam on is a very interesting point, I just noticed when reading the books, that those scholars who are more into reification of the soul, they focus is more on on because they believe someone has higher and Clark and Isa preservation of lineages, by default is going to happen, right. So they look at this as number one, and that is number two, and the other scholars look at it as the other way around. Now, in recent times, a third perspective, or the third
perspective is combine the two. Right, so this is the perspective even our shortcakes in his treatise from a constitution area, which is written about 70 or 80 years ago. And what he does is he brings in the perspective of lineage in the perspective of honor, and he combines them together. And it gives it a new
modern terminology, which is preservation of family, I preservation of family preservation of families, both his preservation of lineage and his preservation of Honor, this is the a new terminology for the same concept. And I think, I believe this is the best terminology to go with, because it's inclusive, is inclusive of all of this.
And it really boils down to the main problems we are facing today, which is a threat to the whole concept of marriage and family. And you know, taking care of a family being a part of a family, this whole concept is being threatened in our times. So a primary goal of the Sharia is the preservation of family tree preserving lineage and honor right to the combine the two together, that the primary goal is preserving family. The family unit is one of the most important things in our religion, that
people should have a family they should be,
the families should have children, children should be raised upon a man. And this allows the religion to continue and to grow from one stage to the next.
So our Sharia doesn't just focus on preservation of lineage. But it's much deeper than that what else it could have, it has the rights and responsibilities for every member of the family. So it was only about preservation of lineage. Why all these other Lords there as well. In other words, aren't necessarily to do with lineage is to do with what? preserving the family preserving the family structure. So in our Sharia, and some of this stuff, and we'll see over the next two slides might sound offensive to any feminists who are in attendance or watching this right. But in our Sharia, it has to be clearly stated, this surely is very clear that the husband and wife have different roles
to play in the family. And again, some people don't like to hear that but this is clear in the Quran is clear the Hadees what happens is, when someone embraces this role, then this leads to the family running properly, and you reach the children being raised happily and it leads to peace and stability in the home. And what's happening in the modern world is first it was breakdown the family structure and the family roads. Now with fourth wave feminism, what does it do to your marriage altogether? You see what the new generation of feminists are saying is no one man, it's a male concept. It's a way for men to oppress us they don't want marriage because they don't want it to
exist anymore. So step by step, first break out of the family role, step away from family, then, you know have them if you want and now it's good as a concept altogether. That's that's the level they're moving towards.
So our family, our religion teaches that our family is the nucleus of civilization. If you destroy families, you destroy civilizations. I think it was so that Houdini UV rahimullah who stated that when Xena becomes arrived in a community, then the civilization will start to crumble. Right and this happens throughout history. If you look at any society that fell apart in the history of this world, right you will see that the last few decades leading up to the collapse even in the world superpowers those last few decades. Decades of intelligence and data with that becomes a social norm. And then when that becomes the social norm people become weaker, families become weaker,
families become weaker, society becomes weaker and eventually the civilization competencies what's happening to many countries around the world today. So I will show you a considers family very important. It is Mr. Hug to get married. For some people is watching. It is muster up to get married for some people it is what it is Mr. hub to have children and if you have children and obviously that's also dependent on color. But if you have children, it is now becomes why'd you to raise them islamically it's watching to parent their property or just to lead them to school and addicted.
Back to school to raise them or the television to raise them know, it's wiser to parent your children to be an active creator to be actively involved in the lives of your children. And again, some people think that's only for the mothers. That's not true. The fathers also play a very active role in the upbringing of their children. And there are many Hadees and statements of America hottub and other early Muslims that clearly show the important role that the Father is supposed to play in the lives of children. The Father's role is not just to earn money and buy things. That's not the father. So the father is supposed to be a role model to the sons of know of manliness, of what it
means to be a man is supposed to learn other than a HELOC is an honor and modesty and all these concepts from the father's life on the father's character is supposed to look at him and say, okay, that's what I need to be. He needs to be there in their life. And he needs to be actively involved in their lives for them to see that and to be able to emulate that. And again, this is also something that's disappearing in our time, when our boys are not growing up and the remain man, child's and the man child gets married, and he has a child and he's more immature than his child. And that leads to a whole nother level of problems.
So what I will show you teaches us is that when children are raised by honorable parents properly, they have a better chance of reaching their full potential. And again, we see this with the early Muslims, that whenever I studied the biography of a great scholar, or a great leader in Islam, most of the time, they were people who were raised industry, most of them now sometimes they were converts. Certainly people in the valley to send in tomato bylaw change, but the majority of cases it's truly fascinating how parenting in the in the past produced people who really lived up to their full potential. And again, I'm going to give the example of Omar Abdulaziz because I spent the past
six months researching his life. In my google home in Abdulaziz chapter one is about parenting. Because this is something that always amazed me about his life.
His he was a result of three generations of honorable guarantee not one three generations, because we have almost no kata, right, who finds a righteous woman and gets his son married to him. So they can have honorable children. And then they have a daughter, and they raise her islamically. And then she male is the son of the halifa, Abdul Aziz even Marwan, and they raised over even Abdul Aziz islamically. And he raised him in Medina and sent him to study with the scholars of Medina. And then he grows up, he becomes the Umayyad Caliph, and he becomes one of the most righteous and just and honorable believers in the history of this world. He's one of those few people that every group
agrees that he was one of the earlier. But how did he become that to read generations of righteous parenting, not one, three generations over even hottub raised his son, well, God, he married to a righteous woman, they raised their daughter, well got her married to a righteous man, they raise their son while he becomes omnipod abdulazeez three generations of righteous parenting so don't underestimate how important parenting is. It really is one of the things that make or break people. And I have dealt with so many cases lately. I've dealt with people who've fallen into drug addiction. I've been dealing with people who've fallen into all forms of Xena, dealing with people
who left the religion altogether. In every single case, 99% of them. They weren't raised by proper Muslim parents, their parents either did not teach them Islam, taught them an extreme version of Islam, which they beat into them. All. The parents just went and they basically didn't have parents and the parents just were watching TV and leaving the children to raise themselves. It's always comes down to parenting. So don't underestimate the importance of parenting. This is why the family is one of the two rodeos. And this is why I believe the revival of the oma lies the revival of the family structure. When people go back to the system of getting married young, having children,
raising them with honor raising them to be good Muslims, raising them to be righteous individuals, then those children will you know will do the same and within three or four generations, we have a generation of a generation of righteousness. But when everybody's for themselves, everybody's only worried about money, or status, or what other people say or following the enough's or capitalism or hedonism.
And there's no future for the ummah. There's no future if all of this is more important to families. And again, a major problem I'm dealing with with the younger generation. Nowadays, when I talk to young men and young woman, some of them have no intention to get married, ever. Muslim, any woman in our community, they have no intention to get married ever. They just don't see the point of marriage. Right. So you have a sister who's young, she's working. She has a good job, a good salary. She'll tell me what do I need a husband for?
What do I need a husband for you have
A young man he's working, he is join him in his free time, he has enough time for his video games and his Netflix. And unfortunately, to be completely frank and open with you, with the younger generation, with the boys, especially one of the reasons they feel they don't need to get married anymore because of pornography. Pornography has taken away the need for the wife, they actually this, this is the reality, they don't see a need for the wife because they have something much easier. So they don't see someone's going to be in my life, someone's gonna be using my money, someone's gonna be telling me not to watch Netflix, I'm not gonna be telling me not to play video
games. I've looked after this person after they killed this person. What do I need this for?
So people are thinking like this, what I see is that these people were not raised with the proper Islamic values when it comes to family, either by the teachers, either by their parents, or by society and culture at large. Because they're not even seen the importance of family at all. It's like for them, they don't understand why would anyone want to get married? And I've had people ask me to say why would anyone want to get married, with the divorce rate that we have today. So family is being threatened, every family becomes threatened, what becomes right in place of it, Xena, so we live in a sinner culture. And this is the front truth about the culture that we live in. It's easy
in our culture. Xena is so common in this culture, that when someone contacts me and says, you know, so and so Malala committed Zina, like not the first step of our debt is become debt normally become so desensitized to it, because it's happening all around us, with everybody. So
when this is, you know, the big issue, the issues of honor lineage and family, you can see why we have these three different perspectives.
We have the classical position, that is all about protecting lineage, we have the sole position is about protecting your visa. And we have the modern perspective, which is it's both is protecting the family. And they expanded more than that to include other areas of the family, the rights of the wife, the rights of the husband, the rights of children, the rights of parents, the right to their siblings. So it's not just about lineage, it's about the full family structure and protecting all of it. So how do we do this? Well, number one most important, right, is that our religion prohibits Zina, every type of Zina and everything that leads to it. Now, given Yes, we live in a community
that has gone to extremes on both ends. And we'll talk about this when it comes to the rites of arrival. We'll talk about this when it comes to see now when it comes to marriage, in all these issues. Our community is on two opposite extremes. So for example, when it comes to the now we have people in house community, who will say that this class is haram, or it will lead to sinner, because the men and women can see each other. Right? That's one extreme, the other extreme. The other extreme is anything goes and everything goes. There is no value. There is no hierarchy, there is no more distressing, there is no in this, there's literally no rules. So we have these two extremes.
Now religion, again, is somewhere in the middle. When it comes to these issues, the best place to figure out when you have all these different opinions. For me, the best way to figure it out is how does the habit of just go back to that? What is the habit? How did they interact with the opposite gender? Did they have no rules? No, they had rules, how strict with their rules were they were strict, but not as strict as we are today. And one of my teachers says that. Nowadays, we think we more pious in the Sahaba.
Because the Sahaba the men they would Greek woman, they will do business with woman, they would sit in the same machine with no value between him the woman in the bathroom, the men in the front, right, the woman would teach the men for the majority of our history, woman would go to the masjid and teach Sahabi to men. There are many, many examples of woman they did throughout our history, they will be an Olimar sitting in a Masjid in Damascus teachings that he Bahati and many will be attending adults.
So clearly, if that's what the early Muslims did our idea today that you know they must be 100% separation. Not only is it wrong, it's not working. It's not working 100% separation just makes people
it makes people even more curious. And it makes them such they can't interact with the opposite gender in a respectable manner because they have no training. They have no training for interacting with the opposite gender, all they know is opposite gender hierarchy. So as soon as you remember the opposite gender or they think about this, there's two Haram is there's no middle part. So we have these two extremes. How do you have to understand our religion does have laws in place? Well, that doctor was in our do not approach you know. So some of the laws are clear now Sharia your observation of hijab dressing in the Islamic way, not having hollow what is called one being alone
with a member of the opposite gender behind closed doors is not allowed in our religion, right for any reason.
The third rule I was going to mention no touching is rude. Unless your doctor, obviously it's the exception to the rule, right? But you shouldn't be touching members of the opposite gender or not your mom. But if these rules are observed, and many women interact respect for the teacher, to student, business owner, a person to business person, counselor to client, you know, whatever it is, all of this. All of that is hella, and we need to make our community understand that because again, people think everything's haram so they do everything haram or they stay away even from the holiday. So we have on one side, people won't make Salaam to their own cousins or the uncle's wife because
it's haram to even make Salaam to them. Right, which is not Islam. The prophet SAW some any Hadees we interact with a woman who's not not
be always means a lot to you always greeted me. So you know, my mama can make salam to you know, Sahaba This is a you know, if I if I'm going to be more controversial, see, this is a bit of a this is a bit of inventing something new in the religion that you can't make salam to the opposite gender. So we have to take a balanced approach to that. But in general, the prohibition of Xena is for the protection of lineage for the protection of honor and for the protection of families. Because the number one cause of divorce and families breaking up is, you know,
on the opposite side, just as Xena is the number one for his mission to protect these three things. Marriage is the number one recommendation to protect these three things. So our religion tells us to get married, right? The prophets lawyers have said Oh, young man, whichever if you are able to should get married, and if you're unable to you should fast. So
our religion recommends marriage it is Mustafa, in some cases becomes watching. And this marriage serves all three purposes. When a man and woman get married, they protect the honor because they don't do anything wrong. They protect their lineage any children born will have illegitimate
lineage. And number three, they form a family. And if they work out in child, they protect the rights of the role of the family as well. Number three,
our religion has clearly made up sit down rules in terms of both rights and responsibilities for every member of the family. Every member of the family, your children have rights. Your children also have responsibilities. Your parents have rights, they also have responsibilities, your spouse has rights, they also have responsibilities. One of the causes of problems today is everybody wants to hear about their rights, but nobody wants to hear about your responsibilities.
Now, this is an experiment I did on Facebook a couple of times just to see how consistent is post something about the rights of a wife, you will get 10,000 likes,
follow it up with a possible right to the husband, you will get messages telling you you will get emails to your boss telling him to fire you.
You will get emails from women from feminists to your boss telling him to fire you because you're massaging this how can we have lights? How can the husband have rights over his wife? Reality is for a family to function. wife has rights husband has rights, children have rights, parents have rights. It's not one or the other. Everybody has rights. Now given again, our society is on two extremes. We have this Indian culture,
which openly i think is dying out where the woman becomes like servant in the house, to in laws, and where she doesn't really have any rights or say in the way the families run. And I really believe it's because of the oppressive culture that feminism took root in our communities. And so we have the opposite extreme, which is feminism, which is that you know, you don't do anything for men's rights. Right, that's over that time is over. Now, it's all about the woman's rights. Again, the middle part for any family to be happy. Everybody's rights have to be fulfilled. That's just, you know, this is a matter of fact, for any family to be happy. A man's got to be taking care of his
wife, wife sighs a wife has been thinking about husbands rights, they both have to be taking care of their children's rights. This is just being practical. So our religion is very clear, it has very clear list of rights and responsibilities for every member of the family.
Furthermore, beyond the beyond rights, and again, this is the senior Rimbaud the three levels to rule yet get married hajia to take care of the rights and responsibilities of a marriage that seniors yes on to your to your family, be good to your family, treat them on a higher level. Right really if people treat their families and nobody will even bring up rights. We've everyone's being treated with the extra little bonus for their rights because they've been treated on a whole nother level. Right? I mean our religion, it promotes this sign in so many pieces the process by some stages. The best of you are those who are best to their families. And in other words, he said the
best money you spend is a man who has been in your wife and children.
I use Heidi's
You know when people asked me about was one brother actually asked me about this two weeks ago, he said, my wife wants me to take her and the kids out for supper. I don't want to do that. So waste of money, she must cook.
So I told him, the Prophet Solomon said the best money is the money you spend on your wife and children. So take out for support that kind of money. I know we did it. But again, the mentalities the IDS on one side the way people think on the other side,
emphasizes a HELOC.
Hi, HIA is in everything that we do, from how we deal with our spouse to how we deal with our parents to how we deal with our children to how we deal with our neighbors, to our employees, our employees, everybody we interact with, we must always be conscious of our o'clock hour, hour, our higher all of this must be there in all of our interactions. And again, when we have these things, then by default, you are not going to fall into sin. By default, your spouse is going to be happy, your children are going to be happy, your parents are going to be happy, because they are dealing with a person of your son, who is not going to be happy having a person of your son in their life, a
person with is an
adult in their life. Such a person brings happiness to the family, they bring happiness to the community. So this is all a byproduct of simply living a life of Islam.
And finally, when it comes to the marriage, our religion has set specific rules for the husband and wife so that society functions optimally. Right? So right to today, a lot of people get upset when they learn my wife doesn't have a career or a job right outside of the home. Because she has four kids to take care of. And she's dedicated her life to raising those four children. And people these days think that old school
I work she raised the children, people think that's old school. Reality is, you know, almost anyone who's bad my kids always told me, they cannot understand why my kids are so happy. Kids these days, always depressed and angry. And I believe this is why when the husband and wife played the role, Allah created him to play in the family. Children are getting the right attention from the political in the right attention from their mother, they're getting the therapy done. They're getting taught Islam. They're getting full of emotional support. They're getting that someone's day all the time for them. They grew up happier. They grew up better. Now, again, are they extreme? I'm not saying
women are not allowed to work. That's the other extreme. But I have a very,
very strange opinion, how'd you get around this? But in general, you know, in our religion, man's supposed to support the family. And when they have children, a woman is supposed to raise the children. Right? So my personal opinion, how do we deal with the idea that women these days one careers, but they also want to have a family what's happening is we're doing it backwards. So I believe you're doing you're doing it backwards. So a sister goes to university, she gets a degree, or she will do way up in the workplace. It gets a career, she gets promotional promotion, around the age of 35. To the 60s, she decides she wants to get married, she gets married doctor tells us she
can't have any children, or there's a chance he can't have any children or she only have one child, she falls into depression. Too late to press the reset button. Why don't we do it the other way around? What if you get married young to a good man. You have children, you raise them upon Islam. By the time you're 35 or 36, or 38, your child gets married, move on with your life you bought now you get a career, you get a job you spend the rest of your life working a job in Korea, you get the best of both worlds. You get to have a family and raise children and you get to have a career. And I so again, this is a new idea because this is a new problem.
But really, we live in a time with the idea of a woman raising a trend has been demonized. And for any especially for a man to talk about it is considered mansplaining is considered problematic is considered anti feminist. But this is something our religion teaches that a wife and a husband have different roles to play in a marriage. When they both play those roles. children will grow up happier and more likely to grow up to be practicing Muslims. And obviously every family is different. Everyone has their own circumstances. And some families has been wiped both have to work because of the economic situation. Sometimes a woman's able to juggle a job and raising a child
population. Again, everyone's situation is different. The point is, don't demonize the idea of of a woman raising her children and choosing that over career. People should not demonize this because this is something that's noble and respected and important in our religion.
An interesting point on that, if you study the lives of many of the younger generation of Westerners, a lot of women who are raised by feminist mothers are anti feminist, or a woman nowadays who are raised by career mothers
Want to be stay at home moms. And my favorite one, a lot of people were adopted and raised by homosexuals, or anti homosexual, actually, the majority of the majority of the majority of people who were adopted by a homosexual couple and raised by them grew up to be completely anti homosexual. He grew up hating it more than the average person does. What does this tell you? There's all these social experiments are not working, if their own children are seeing is not working, then there's something wrong with the direction that society is moving in. And, and examples MDD discusses in many blogs, and podcasts and articles discussing this a woman who say, for example, that their
mother had a career, the mother didn't have time for them, they didn't spend time with them, or the mother cared about his money and promotions, and the job. And they felt neglected as children and they don't want their children to have that. So they will choose to be stay at home moms even see this and manage 20 or 30 years ago, the idea of a celebrity getting married when they were 20, or 21 was ridiculous, right? They lived the life of senior it to the 30s or 40s, then they got married. If you take a look at the younger generation of celebrities, 2021 23 year old married, a lot of them are married at somebody or getting married when you're 18 or 19. So these trends are starting in the
West, are already going the opposite direction in the West, but the Muslims are now clinging on to it. So there are some amongst them, they are those who are abandoning it and realizing Hold on, this doesn't work, we need to go in the opposite direction. But the Muslims are still clinging on to the ideas. And these ideas are very destructive for these three things for honor, lineage and family.
So let's finish off, we just got two more slides, and I'll go through them quickly because times already over.
They are dangerous when these things are not preserved. Number one, I really spoke about this unusual go too quickly is that the confusion of lineage creates psychological and social problems. So against psychological studies have been done, showing that the majority of people become drug addicts, or thieves or prostitutes come from broken families. Right. And most of the time, the lack of a father's love especially leads to these things.
Number two, lack of harmony the family or lack of family altogether leads to poor upbringing. So I look at some of the cases of dealing with recently, and either due to the lack of family or the lack of parenting, and that has led to many people falling into all kinds of addictions. And since generally what happens is, in these cases, that child falls into a chronic depression, because they neglected you know, getting loved not getting taken care of they're not getting the emotional needs met, the child falls into depression, children don't know what depression is. And that becomes a permanent state of mind. And so in the depression, they try cigarettes in the child higher jump in
and try a higher junk before you know it the addicted to some strong substance or something else goes wrong. Why? again, it goes back to lack of family.
Confusion of gender roles caused the breakdown of the family structure and especially affects children. I already spoke about this, I will not go into more details maybe in the q&a segment we can lack of honor and modesty opens the doors to every evil. Right? Again, we spoke over the ideas if you don't have higher Do as you wish.
And finally, when families are weak, the oma is weak. When families are weak, we spend every day doing what what do we spend every day during these days trying to put out fires in our families. And we spend all our time trying to put a fair fight in our families. So this person son is doing something wrong, and that person's wife is doing something right, that person's husband is doing something wrong, this person's parents are abusing them. And this person's son has run away. And he's all family problems. And he's been so much time trying to solve these family problems that could have been prevented in the first place. What gets neglected all the larger problems of
society. None of us have the time or energy to deal with the larger problems of society because our families end up with so much problems when we don't do things the Islamic way.
So to conclude, the practical benefits of understanding the importance of preservation of family.
Number one, is that we should embrace the gender roles laid down by the shadow without falling into cultural misunderstandings. I had to add that phrase because again, one hand feminism or the Han Indian culture, Islam is somewhere in the middle. And we need to have discussions to what that model actually is. But it's neither. It's not this, this culture that we are raised with, which was so anti female, it literally Cosmo and by the way, I'm very sympathetic to why women in our community become feminists. I completely understand. I completely understand if a woman is growing up in a family where she's told she's not allowed to go to the masjid. She's not allowed to finish school.
She's not allowed to go to university.
You know, she's told that she has to serve her in laws, and she has to be like a servant in the house and her brothers are given preferential treatment over her and they are allowed to commit Zina
You're not allowed to even look at anyone, I completely understand why a woman raised in that environment becomes a feminist. But it doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it right.
I have this idea that replacing one man made prop philosophy with another man made philosophy is simply replacing one set of problems with a new set of problems. So Indian culture is a management philosophy, feminism is a management philosophy, a woman a philosophy, right. And they both come with their own problems, which is taking one set of problems and replacing it with another. The only solution to our problems is Islam. We have to break away from all these different ideologies go back to the middle part, go back to Islam. What does Islam say? Whether my knucks likes it or not, that's what's going to be best for me. And of course, both sides have to hear this, the men who are you
know, I mean, this is one musti that I stopped going to because every few months, the Juma football is literally the topic of the drama quickfire is woman's brains are deficient. That's literally the drama of our topic. Every few months, the man gives the same football, a whole lecture is demeaning woman.
And then you wonder why the woman the community are leaving Islam and becoming feminists. That's why because of this idea, so again, that doesn't make it right. But you and if you understand where someone's coming from, you can help them, you know, find that middle part, again,
teach younger generation, the joys of marriage and the dangers of Siena, here's the thing, we don't teach them the joys of marriage, right? I mean, the older generation didn't really talk about this at all.
And the younger generation now have
a new challenge. What do you do talk to your children about when it comes to these topics, as I said, just as you have to teach them about the bio biology of this, you also have to teach them about the importance of marriage and about the dangers of Xena. So for example, one of the things we need to teach children is everything in this world, Allah has created a Halloween and r&b, when it comes to enjoying a member of the opposite gender, whether it's romance, whether it's just that that that close relationship with it's hugging whether any of these things that are wrong with his girlfriend, boyfriend, hobbies, marriage, you have to sit with your child at the age of 11, or 12.
If you're going to public school, maybe even younger, and have this conversation with them, teach them that marriage is something to look forward to teach them that marriage is something that's joyful and beneficial. And obviously, the number one way to do that is to show that in your own actions. Because if your marriage is making you depressed, your kids are not gonna want to get married, right?
assist young people in getting married and growing into people worth marrying two points, actually sure, put it the other way, not, right, raise children such that they actually will be good husband and wives. Again, one of the mistakes I saw growing up, when I was growing up all the woman around me, the father saying you are going to university when you finish school, because when you grew up, you might get divorced.
Guess what most of the girls never got married. Because their fathers gave them so much about divorce. Oh, good university, I'm never getting married. So instead of teaching your daughter to be a good wife and your son to be a good husband, you just didn't follow stories about divorce.
And divorce becomes the default.
And so we need to move away from that. If we raise our boys to be good men and our daughters to be good woman, our marriage will work out from a very young age. Right. And in assisting them. Maybe we can go into that a bit later in the q&a. But we have to get creative about this. We have to find ways to assist them in getting married young, because the education system of the modern world is it clashes with our Sharia requirement to get married young. And there are ways around I know many people who have worked around it, it's just a matter of making that popular.
Next point, obvious point, everyone shouldn't even be no need to do this. And that is avoid Zina and everything that leads to it. Right. That's the obvious point. And finally, make your family a priority in your life. Serve them with honor, take care of them. And make sure that the treatment of your family and family I mean your parents, your children, your spouse, your siblings, your grandparents, your cousins, everyone, make sure your entire family, your interactions with them interactions have a son.
Like today when people look at you, the people talk about you after you're passed away. No one can ever see you You're a bad son or a bad daughter or a bad husband or a bad wife. People can't see bad about you because best of you are those who are best for their families and that is the benchmark that we should strive for. So today's lesson was a bit long now you know why I left number five entire lecture on its own it has a lot to cover all issues directly affecting our community issues that people either on extremes about or
afraid to speak about issues that are being swept under the carpet, right, the issue of Xena monography these things have been swept under the carpet we have to be spoken about.
This is my presentation, I hope that we able to take this information and use it in our parenting in our family structures, introduce it at the high school level. This must be taught in high school, because some people get married to your high school. And some people got married in high school and they're still together. In high school, there are people in my class who got married, and right till today, they still together. So this needs to be taught in high school.
And I really believe if you can uptake this maqasid approach to the issue of marriage to the issue of Xena, how to actually understand why Xena is a bad thing and why marriage is cooking right now they don't understand. Right now the average young person cannot understand why they can't have a girlfriend or boyfriend. What's wrong with that, we just having fun. They can understand why it's wrong. And they can't understand why you should get married because our divorce rates are so high. There are so many problems in our society related to marriage. Like another case I dealt with recently, someone's mother was divorced three times and her father was divorced three times. So
mother and father both went through three separate marriages. And the daughter refused to get married to anyone. because she'd seen so many divorces, she can't ever imagine ivantage working. So we have to really re structure our whole way of looking at this at this topic and how we raise our children. With that. I'll conclude we have about 10 or 15 minutes for q&a. At any questions, any comments? Anybody wants to add?
Mama didn't get the ball rolling.
critically important, especially with young young
boys and girls.
Depends on discussing the issue. They don't do
that they seek an increasing level of expectations from both sides, managers breaking down
others to do a workshop on management.
maybe revisit this
as an activity of a session
single point that was the whole issue of I think lineage is
the idea that
infection affects people's perception of families as well. And I think this is something that
yeah, this is something a lot of people are completely unaware of, you know, the psychological impact of a child not knowing who their father is. Now, we take this for granted because 100 a lot, you know, the Muslim community until now has been so strong on the issue of lineage that some people can literally trace their lineage back to the Sahaba and the Prophet Salim Salah. Like they can go all the way back Father, Father, Father all the way back to the Prophet Salonika. And if you want if you can go back to the prophet SAW some of them you can even go back all the way back to Adam aneesa. Right, because we have the prophets, Allah Islam's lineage back to money. And now we have
people who don't even know who their father is. So how do they put into their whole family tree? And it creates major psychological problems for people. So that's a big issue.
There's no question we're going to talk a little bit about the issue of helping young people get married are the questions. Yes. Think that sometimes in our community, I think we honor lineage
as an important principle, but sometimes we take it too far to the extent that people who don't have family kind of outside the circle and that causes more social problems. So that within the framework of the people who care for and will allow into your
life, so you won't foster child or you won't get a destitute old person come to live with you. If you don't
do that huge disadvantage.
put each other in.
So I think that at least that's the important point. So like the issue of religion of looking after the, the orphans.
You know, that's like a major part of our religion. And again, we have this misunderstanding. The misunderstanding is adoption is haram. I was harami, too.
Give your surname or you have to give people the perception that your biological child Why? Because of preservation of lineage, that's not your lineage that becomes a life. Right. But it's not haram to take a child in and to raise them and to take care of them. And, and and to give them a good life. That's not the only thing is haram is confusing the lineage. Right. That's the only part. That's Tara. So an important point, I think one of the problems, there's multiple issues that led to where we are today, that issue, one of them is it really broken down our families to a level where everyone's it's just husband, wife and children. Now, when people talk about
families, nuclear family, is, technically that hasn't been the case for the majority of history. But the majority of history, people lived in communities, you know, so if something happened, they were other people there to take care of someone, if, if you look at the Sahaba, for example, one of the Sahaba died in jihad, there was someone there to take care of his wife and children. It's not like she suddenly left alone, there was this sense of community. So the sense of community is gone that social. And while our family has the choice to go in your family, you have right to us, our neighbors have rights over us, they have rights over us, we need to find new solutions to these
things. We also need to revert to certain concepts. Like again, the idea that adoption is haram is it's not technically true. It's the mixing up of the lineage that's not raising, often taking care of a child that's completely hollow. And again, people mix up the two concepts. There was another Henry's Professor
apparently, does not have
maybe the brothers child fell somewhere, or maybe come up with
because that because again, preservation of lineage that breaks preservation, of course happens to be one side of the family side as the kid has a father.
Because they didn't
know Greg said many years ago as
a family wife,
and the father and mother
a son, the brother system methods out
there from a trade show.
And then they discovered that the actual system
but eventually they moved
together again, this thing is just moving as
newspapers I said, I want to know from Vegas, what do they think
drives home the importance of preservation of lineage? Because nowadays, the again, so many times we have stories nowadays, that somebody who's into this senior culture gets together with somebody later learns that actually a father who she never knew she was doing some random guy, right? Or, you know, these kind of things happen in this culture, because nobody knows the lineage. And again, you want people answer, why is Islam so strict and idea that you can't give your adopted child your name. It's this preservation of leads, they need to know who their blood brothers and sisters, they need to know who the actual lineage of who they actually are observed. That has to be clear. So
again, the example you gave is excellent. It really drives home the importance of preservation of lineage, and why that law exists in our religion, even though for some people, they think it doesn't make sense. The idea of raising someone else's children is part of our religion, Ali Rajan, who grew up in whose house, the prophet lollies on the hill grew up in acutonics house, I would call him couldn't adapt. He was too old, really, and didn't have enough money and energy to take care of his son. So his nephew raised his son. Right. And that was perfectly fine, because he knew who his father is. He knew his mother. Yes. So that is completely fine. If someone is raising their sister's
son, because she can have her own children. And the child knows that this is my auntie raising me, not my mother. That's completely not. The only thing that becomes Haram is confusing the lineage. Because as you can see the amount of problems that can cause it can be really, really problematic in the long run.
I don't know how they should do and I don't see this in the community addressing this issue,
if there's a right for every person to be mad.
We are in a situation where we have lots and lots of single woman
and I do not see a solution divergent society. Now, how does it show your view this idea that everybody would like to have
and ended up being great.
Can you take me into the new versions of it?
Yeah, that's the algenol community ready for that discussion?
Yes. And I think one of the country's rulers actually
been very angry because I'm actually of the opinion that for the majority of anatomical
conditions, the conditions are very strict. And you're putting yourself in a situation where you can look at the harms and benefits Yeah, so it's up to its individual it's case by case
ways of greater harm
polygamous marriages will be better for society. Okay. Fulfilling the rights of women who are unable to find so so you are actually applying
obviously needs to be in the country advice
assuming that Yeah, okay.
Firstly, we have a lot of guys who are not married, they all man child's and no one to take responsibility. So it's not that it is no men out there. It's just that Firstly, we need to raise our men to be better husbands right? Now, maybe we don't know that there are differences amongst them as how to the actual position of polygamy, whether it's macro Musab, right? And the strange thing is, it's the Sharpie must have the city's macro, and it's 100. We must have the city will stop, but I think we will be stuck
with it. That's the actual positions that I think
so they'll just have a point I want to make is that these things there's both ways this becomes a pain approach and it really needs a entire discussion on its own to go into
just a couple of days before if you're curious.