Inspirations From The Righteous – 13

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Ismail Kamdar

Channel: Ismail Kamdar

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Episode Notes

Biography of Umm Sulaym Ar-Rumaysa

Episode Transcript

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala de la, de da de la COVID. de la To begin, we begin by praising Hannah with Allah and asking him to save his peace and blessings upon the final prophet Mohammed, Abdullah Salalah alayhi wa sallam, and all those who follow his way with righteousness.

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And hamdulillah in this series on inspirations from the righteous. Today's topic is a bit unique,

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unique in the sense that until now, every Sahabi, whose lives we have looked at was one of the mahadji rune or one of the people of Makkah, who migrated to Medina, right. We looked at Ayesha masala Musab even domain I'm going to do is I will be David algebra. All of these were from the people of Makkah. Right. And they migrated to money activity module. So we have seen in the stories, the struggles that the Muslims of Makkah had to go through and how Medina was a source of refuge for them. Medina was like a safe haven for them that they escaped to. So today we actually going to look at the other side. What was it like for the people of Medina, when he first accepted Islam, because

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they also when they first accepted Islam, were a minority in a non Muslim area. But in a short amount of time, they became the majority. So they do have to go through struggles. And we sometimes forget that we sometimes think of the Maha de Lune as the ones who struggled in Egypt, and the answers as the guy to help them. And you know, it seemed like they had it easier. It wasn't easier. They also have to go through a lot of struggle. So we looking at the lives of one of the first people in Medina to accept Islam. And that is homeschooling. homeschooling, Binti Maha rajala. Now obviously, these are the difference of opinion about what her actual name is. The most popular is

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Mesa raishin more popularly known as Mesa and miscellanies, her title, right the mother of today. So she was one of the first people to accept Islam in Medina, going back to what we mentioned, about two months ago when he spoke about Mousavi when we say that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam sent

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to Medina to call the people to Islam, from amongst the first people to accept Islam at the hands of Musab al was a young woman by the name of homeschooling. Right? So she is one of the first people. So let's put this in context. Here we have a young woman, a married woman, with children,

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in either worshiping family in either worshiping community, the stranger comes from aka such teaching about Islam, and she accepts Islam. So definitely, there's going to be trouble. Right? So Mr. Lim, at this point in time, she was married to a man called Malik, even another Malik even another, and they had two sides.

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The first one of them is a very famous individual.

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And this even Moloch,

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the great scholar, so you could look a bit later at how she was influential in Assam, becoming a great scholar. And the other words agree with Jackie de Maria Alberto.

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So

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at this point in time, the young couple, the children are very young. And this was approximately four, five years old. And Mr. Lim comes home and she tells her husband that she no longer worshipping idols, she's accepted Islam. And she's attending the lessons of Busan. Even though she's studying Islam, she's learning Islam, and tension starts to grow in a household. She starts to do Dawa, to her husband. And she actually makes her five year old son,

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take the Shahada, and she starts teaching her son Islam.

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And every time that Mr. Li teaches her son about Islam, her husband becomes very angry. And Molly tells her that you are spoiling our child.

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And the fight breaks out between them over who's really spoiling the child, the one teaching about Islam or the one teaching about idol worship. And so, tension begins to grow in the household of humans live and molecules another remember this is the early days of Islam. This is before the prohibition of marrying a non Muslim. Right. So she met she became a Muslim. She still she loves him a lot because I mean, they were married at a very young age. He got children together. She wants what's best for him. She's doing our to him, but he doesn't want to accept now.

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What I find interesting about this story is it's understandable that she's a Muslim. He's a non Muslim, as long as he doesn't want her to teach the children Islam.

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Today, we have Muslim husbands, telling the Muslim wives you spoiling a child if you teach your child about Islam. I mean, how far are we have we drifted from the teachings of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and we're going to look a bit more obviously his life and see how different she was in terms of marriage and parenting compared to our attitudes today. So obviously, she's written by a husband, husband, how's that? If,

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if you don't leave this Islam, if you don't come back to idol worship, I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you in the kitchen, I'm going away.

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And so he leaves. And he goes on a trip, he goes on a long journey. And on this journey, he dies.

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When the news leeches woman's name that her husband has died, she overcome with sadness. She not said that her husband has died. Mr. lavey said that her husband has died as an idol worshiper. Outside the fold of Islam, actually, actually, he died as a rejecter of Islam and open reject of Islam. And so she enters the state of sadness. And

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part of the way that he died over she now a widow.

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proposal started pour in.

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And this is quite interesting that homeschooling was a widow, right with children. She's a widow with children, and proposals are pouring in for people to marry him. Why? Because back then, it wasn't regarded as something wrong to marry a widow or a divorce. It was he was normal. And she was known in the community for her character, or for intelligence and for carnage. And so there was this feeling in the community, these people wanted to marry her. And so she gets a proposal that today, people would reject to reject what happens. She gets a proposal from a band called aamupala. Now who is amakhala

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is one of the witches, and most honorable and best character and handsomest men living in Medina. He's like the cream of the crop, what we call today, the Ideal Husband, whatever you may be seeking, right? He's rich, he's popular, he's handsome, he's got it all. The only one problem.

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Now today, if this happens, what what's the word via via?

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Right?

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And he offers a huge amount of money. I mean, like a ridiculous a huge amount of money. And she says, No. And he said, Why? Why? Why don't you tell me what's wrong? And she says that she does not want you to listen to listen to the wisdom of the woman. She asked me these items that you worship, what do they mean?

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He says, aren't you ashamed to worship a tree? We waited, they would come come

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to benefit you. They don't help you in any way. So I'm going to meet you and

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if you accept Islam, that will be my Bible.

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So I will tell her goes back home. And he thinks a little watch he said,

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this is our you know,

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the core of Tao is to talk about to eat and to focus on the issue of worshipping Allah. Nowadays, we do Dawa, we focus more on the other issues. We forget to talk to people about the important to watch.

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But so this is the only thing she talks to him about to give the idol worship and to accept

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that and thinks about it. He comes back. And he takes his shot.

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And he tells him, I have become a Muslim. What can I give you as the Mahabharata give you as

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she says, that was it. That's all I wanted. I wanted you to become a Muslim. And so she calls us and others to go in. We have had the nega performed by Rasulullah sallallahu sallam.

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And as soon as Rasulullah sallallahu taala he tells his companions, I see the signs of Islam in the

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Muslim and he's walking with a man or a woman accepts Islam already choose to start submitting to Allah subhanho wa Taala. You see in their eyes a difference, the sincerity that Eman can be seen in a person's face and so Rahul loves when somebody sees this and I will not have confidence that he wants to marry me.

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Sleep and procedures are conducted deca, and they get married, and they become one of the most famous couples amongst the answer. And there are many famous stories about them as a couple.

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But Miss Williamson and exhibit Malik, he comments on this. And he says, I don't know of any woman in history who has had a better Mahara than my mother.

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Today, how many of us when it comes to murder, we think it's at the cashier, right? Get as much as you want. And so many Muslim communities, people can't get married because they've set the bar standard too high. In the time of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam people will get married in exchange of learning karate, you teach me throughout the Quran, Allah you you become a Muslim as value. It was this, which was far more important to the Muslim woman of the Sahaba than money. Because I will tell her I had money. She wasn't interested in his money at all. She wanted Islam, she wanted a Muslim husband. Now compare the attitude. Today we have Muslim woman say why can't I value a non

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Muslim man? We are saying I'm not gonna marry you, as long as you're not Muslim men. don't care how rich you are, how handsome you are, how good character you have in mind? Because

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this is your this is the difference between someone who understands Islam, and someone who doesn't have any awkward people who ask these type of questions. Why? Can't imagine not Muslim? Why can't? Why can't they drink alcohol? You know, people ask these questions. Very often what happens is, we haven't really understood the essence of what it is. Generally, we come from a background where we are raised by parents who are culturally Muslims, we kind of just brought up with some because our parents are Muslims. We don't know what Islam is. We don't know much about our data. We don't know how many Sahaba we just following the culture of our people. And so someone who brought them in that

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environment doesn't understand why you can do this and why you can't do that. This is very different from someone who is a Muslim, because they have consciously understood Islam. They know what Islam is about. And they have taken a conscious decision to submit to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because that is what the word Islam means. Islam means submission, submission to Allah subhanho wa Taala. When we choose to submit to Allah, then we have decided that on all issues a lot of what's best for us, and when you choose consciously to submit to Allah subhanho wa Taala Islam becomes the most important thing in your life. And in that position, we don't want to ask, but why can't America not

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useless? Because you won't even think of marrying a non Muslim because the man is most important to you. So we met

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a woman who made Islam the highest priority, and so she ended up with the blessing that he would ever have. The husband became a Muslim because of her and her husband became one of the leading and Saudi Muslims. He was known for his generosity. He was known for his bravery. And together they were a very popular couple. But she's not only known for her marriage, Mr. Lim is also known for the upbringing she gave her children. As I said, her son,

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he became a Greek scholar of Islam, and the other son, Baro, he became a green jacket. So definitely, there's some good parenting going on here. So let's just focus on one thing that homeschooling did that no other parents in Medina Baca,

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which changed his son's life forever.

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When Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam made the jump to Medina, all of the answers, were bringing gifts for Rasulullah sallallahu sallam.

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She comes to Rasulullah with her 10 year old son.

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And she tells her, I want my son to serve you in your house. I want him to work for you. I wanted to work in your house. And so honestly, when Monica at the age of 10, now becomes part of the household of Rasulullah. He's living with Rasulullah he's working and running errands for Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he's growing up in the household of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he's learning directly from him Rasulullah

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10 years later, so how old was he? When Rasulullah passed away?

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He was 20 under the age of 10 until the age of 20. He was in the company of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So now when you look back and you wonder how is he the undertaker Malik is one of the four greatest readers of IDs and his name.

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And he's named comic books Okay, these are the books of the seal and the books of IDC comes with all of the Islamic books to keep finding quotations in relation to honesty with Malik and explanation, honesty with Molly

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Why? Because the his formative years, his schooling years, his mother made the sacrifice of sending a son away from her to live in another person's house Why? So he can be close to the greatest teacher alive at that time. Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. So the lesson to take from this for us is that the Sahaba, they made sacrifices for the education of the children. And the sacrifices and investment they made in the education of the children paid off big time, the children became the best of the best.

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Are we prepared to make sacrifices for our children's education? I very awkward today, we look in education, the school as a way of getting rid of the children have the larger school across a piece, right? We don't look at it as an opportunity to educate the children. So when you look at it from the wrong angle, you just got to put the child in at school, just to get them out of the house within hours, or just to go along with the system. But when your child's education is something you have decided to invest in, you are going to make the sacrifice to educate them in the best way possible. And I've seen this even amongst Muslims today. I know many parents who have made amazing

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sacrifices for their children's education. And the results were astounding for people to homeschool their children to be able to move from one country to another to take a child to a specific Islamic school, from parents who move from one neighborhood to another teacher into a specific Islamic school, from parents who personally moved to a certain area and send their child to study under specific share one on one, whatever the case may be. I've seen even in our times, parents who have made sacrifices for the education of their children, their children become the best of ourselves.

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And the symbolic is not the only example of that in history. We look a few generations later, we have the green halifa of Islam. Even Abdul Aziz Omar Abdul Aziz didn't become a green, Aleppo in a vacuum, when he was a child. And his parents had to move from Medina to Egypt because his father was the government of Egypt. His mother left him in Medina with the Sahaba of Lula even though he left him in the house of Allah, even though who was his grandfather's Brother, why he left him there so he can learn Islam and you can be in the environment of Medina. And so he grew up away from his parents, in Medina in the house of a scholar surrounded by the scholars, and people wonder how did

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he become such adjusted righteous and Amelie Khalifa is because of the parenting is because of the sacrifice that his mother and father made. So he could have the best Islamic upbringing, the best education, even if it meant that he lived far away.

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And so this is what

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she sent him to live with Rasulullah sallallahu ala to serve Rasulullah to be a part of his household, and he grew up and one of the best, the greatest benefits that we get from this is that many of the ideas of how Rasulullah was with children, how Rasulullah was with his workers, how Rasulullah slowly somebody with his family. Most of these, a lot of these innovations come from others, even Malik. He's the one who tells us that in his 10 years serving Rasulullah Rasulullah. Some never once shouted, no matter what he did wrong. Never once he was a child, he was a worker, bee LGD. But child makes a mistake, we lose our heads we go crazy, not once. And he's not like he

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was a perfect child once or flew to LA

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to to do this anymore to the house to run errands. And this leaves the house and he sees some children playing.

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And being a child, he naturally forgets about the errand and he goes to play with the children. hours go by Rasulullah supermini for us to come back. He's not coming back. He's decided to go outside to see what happens. He goes outside. He sees another thing with the children. What do you think he does?

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He puts his hand on his shoulder. And he starts to laugh. And he asked me to give him the money so he can go and buy whatever you want to buy. But while I was playing, he lost the money as well.

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Rasulullah Shaka, he did not reprimand he did not rebuke him. Right. He gently taught him about responsibility. And this even value from this lesson.

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He reads it to us. He reached the next generation, the path you're going from here we find the scholars, the extract from this, the parenting style.

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He was not the style to a parent who was harsh with children. Right. He taught them responsibility. He taught him love, love primarily for Allah and His messenger. And from there, they learn to love each other and they learn to grow to be loving, responsible, strong individuals. So

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even though he wasn't with his mother, he's in this hole. He

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He's with Rasulullah, he's with a guy who's not gonna get angry at me makes mistakes is when the person who's gonna teach him Islam, someone's gonna mold him in the right direction. So it's no surprise he grows up to be amongst the best of the best of his generation. So this is how we met really made a huge sacrifice for her.

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We see also that she didn't treat her children, like little children. She gave them responsibility. Firstly, the fact that she sent a 10 year old to work for a hula means she raised him in such a way that by the age of 10, you were able to work. If you didn't raise him like that, he wouldn't have been able to go to work at that age. Number two, when I would tell her came to her for proposal, she made us go on her behalf to speak to

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the niqab performance, you know, she treated him with response to give him responsibilities, do this, do that, you know, assist us with this, and she did it in the command. And so he matured into a man at a much younger age. And this is a major problem in our community, that we spoil boys so much that we have to do voices in our community. Right? We have 14 year old boys in our community, we have people who are 3540, and they still don't have any sense of responsibility, because they have been spoiled for badly. The responsibility starts from a young age, whatever is age appropriate, right? Even images take pick up their own clothes, or they make their own beds, or they

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make sure they rooms or whatever the case is, but teach kids responsibility from a young age. And you'll see they're growing to responsible man, spoiled, they may clean up after them. They don't get to lift a finger. And you can't leave anybody beside yourself if they grew up to be irresponsible. So Mr. Lynch, he had this methodology with herself.

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Now let's look at a few stories from the life of homeschooling with her husband.

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Sony Sony's, let's start with a miraculous one.

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Witness one of the verticals of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. In our own house, it was during, according to some of the innovations It was during the Battle of

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a generation to specify when it happened, but most likely during the time of the trench. That fantasy with money came to his mother, he came home to his mother to tell her that

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he was alone and he says they have stones tied to their startups. Why? Because they are hungry and they don't have any food for days.

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This is reflected by

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Rasulullah sallallahu Elisa many Sahaba what they went through for Islam to teach us the hunger, the sacrifice the dead, the torture, this is in Medina, you know, we think Medina was the better times in Medina, the tank store system or the Congo, right to Rossum, he's he's in the state and he Sahaba in the state. So that's what he feels the writing he goes and tells his mother. So I will have and Mr. Lee decide to invite or pseudo loves to load some home to give him some more, because all she has in the house is some bread and a little bit of gravy, right? with different ratios of what he wants. But he's great at something else in a small container. So obviously, she tells her to go and

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call Rasulullah sallallahu. We're going to call Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he called all the Sahaba

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go to his house. He's got all of us.

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ranch home, he tells his wife Rasulullah is coming with a huge crowd of people. And we got this one loaf of bread.

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But again, Mr. lien was a woman who understood Islam on a deeper level. You know, it's one thing we see that we believe

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it's another thing will you see it in a person's action that they really, truly knew that this was the messenger of love. And so we initially heard this.

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And he looked at how all one in a puzzle. She smiled. She smiled and said Allah and His Messenger, no guest and he was already doing he's a messenger at people to our house or nothing. If we believe he's the Messenger of Allah, we have to believe what he's doing. He's doing with a purpose. Right. So Rasulullah comes into the house of homeschooling. He asked her what she has, she shows him the bread and the food. He makes some do out over the hood, and he calls them people. And he takes some pieces and he gives all 10 or 10 of them eat, they go out he calls in another 10 and another 10 and another 10 until over 70 to 80 people had eaten to their full from the one slice of the one loaf of

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bread

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and measuring the reader says that he was even food remaining to give the neighbors

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This is a more jeiza a vertical offer.

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Loves a lovely masala that occurred in the home of homeschooling. Now before I go into more details about that some of you may be wondering how can Rasulullah interacted so much, you know, he had a really close interaction with him. In fact, even the region that even sometimes go and sleep in a house relax in her house. And even though he says that she was actually his Mahara is hard from another side. So she was in background, so therefore part of his family so he could interact with other females. Right, so they were actually family.

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So you know, the issue of orgies or medicals, some of us have this misconception that Rasulullah Monica was just the Quran. The Quran was his greatest miracle, his lasting miracle that is still with us today as evidence to give to non Muslim that Islam is the truth. But in his lifetime, many other miracles occurred. And this is one example of that. The fact that this occurred in the house of ethylene shows a very high status for her and her family. So this is one amazing story with her her family

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was also known for her courage and bravery.

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And a husband used to join Rasulullah sallallahu something that he had the battles and in fact, according to one of the nation's when the people of Medina went to haka, to pledge allegiance to Rasulullah Salim to come to Medina, and they will fight on his behalf. They will a handful of women in the group and one of them will eventually meaning right from the beginning when Rasulullah was still in Makkah, and a group of people came to Medina to call him to Medina, according to some of the narrations she was.

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She was one of those people. And so the nation that during the battles who Muslim used to give water to the soldiers, she was there running up and down giving him water, along with a Shara de la, she was in the frontlines. And the best example of her Carnage

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was the Battle of Kooning.

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The Battle of money

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is a very famous battle that took place just after the conquest of

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the Muslims were on a roll. They were literally winning battle after battle, and they had just conquered. So morale was very high. The motivation to win is very high, the idea that we are winning was very high. And this is part of our last breath, whenever we think that we are winning, whenever we think that we are successful, whenever we think that is because of our effort that we are getting somewhere. Whenever this happens, Allah humbles us. And so at that point in time, many of the Sahaba many of the new converts to Islam, they felt you know what, when the Muslim was so few in number, the winning battles. Today, there are so many of us, we are going to trash the enemies. Now, the

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only Muslims didn't win the battles, because they were a few, a number of many of the early Muslims won the battles, because they believed victory came from Allah.

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Now in this battle, in the many people are thinking we go into it before getting a lot. And so the Muslim army is huge. And what happens is they enter into a valley, and they are ambushed by the people of money.

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And when they are ambushed, literally terror strikes their hearts and the majority of the army begin to run away, the majority of soldiers begin to run away, and very few, just the cream of the crop stand the ground around Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and rasulillah stands up and he begins to declare that he is the Prophet of Allah, and he calls people back to fight. And here we have archers are shooting at him and his soldiers. And he's just a small band that is standing the ground. Everyone else is running away from the small band right next to

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each other was initially

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right. This is I mean, normally the woman at the front lines I did right in the back, serving the water. At a time like this when the men are running out of fear. She's standing next to Rasulullah and I would tell her

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Amish lane has a dagger.

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to Russia's attempt to assess what you're doing with a dagger. She says if any of the enemies of Allah come to me, I want a slice a release.

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So, I sent you the very, very brief,

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very courageous one, and you see it in this study. So one of the lessons we can take from the life of methylene is that

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mousy Sahaba these qualities of bravery and courage was not seen as a manly quality. You know the quality that every Muslim needed to have.

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Courage can be seen. we seen this earlier you spoke

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about her courage as well. Right? So we see even we spoke about the wife of the Pharaoh and her courage. So

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This is something that we need to understand. Some people have this idea that men are meant to be brave and strong, right and not woman. It's not like that anyone who feels alone more than anybody else will have courage. This is the key. Right? courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the fact that you are that you that you feel a lot more than anybody else you love our love more than anybody else. And you understand that Allah is the one who has control over the heavens and earth. So nothing can happen to you, except by the will of Allah. Nobody can harm you, unless Allah what what works for them to have you. Nobody can help you. With it to help you. Everything is in the

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hands of Allah, if you understand this, if you internalize this, whether you're male or female, doesn't matter, College is a natural result of that. So man today was known for her college,

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homeschooling, but also known for not being shy to ask important questions, questions, which, in our conservative society, we will ask, right, Miss Lee would ask some questions about things which you will be

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asking that if I had certain type of dreams, we need to have muscle. And we should ask the simple questions I should have done, I will tell her What's wrong, you need to you embarrassing us don't talk about these things. And say no. And He will answer the questions. Yes, you also need to have muscle, right. And it's because of her questions that a lot of these issues reached us that she wasn't ashamed to ask about certain topics. And I heard you actually reflected on this Indonesian. I should add to that, what's wrong with you for asking these things, many years later, Ayesha, commensals, and she says that, may Allah have mercy on the woman and

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he will not shy to ask the questions that we wish to ask. And because they will try to ask these questions. We also know that when you read and ask these questions, nobody would know about these aspects of Islam is because a woman a woman, who had the who understood that shyness has not stopped you from learning your dean, who went ahead and ask questions or issues which people find what saw you last night?

00:32:18--> 00:32:40

But you don't have a question. I'm talking all right, she asked those type of questions. And because of it, we today have the regions to extract the issues and learn from them. As is actually the way the Muslim community is supposed to be. Many young Muslims are growing up without any idea of what Islam teaches them about intimate life. But they know everything that the West teaches them.

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They have no idea what's right.

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And then we wonder why they go in history, who we too shy to talk to them about about these topics. And this is a very important statement. She told her philosophy before asking a question. She's

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aligned with the truth. And also said yes. And that's when she asked a question. And this actually became like a slogan amongst the scholars of Islam. That, yes, shyness is part of a religion, or when it comes to studying in education and learning, especially about life. We can't let shyness stop us from learning or teaching these topics. Because people have to know the you'd have to they have to know about these things, you have to talk about it. If we don't talk about it, you know, then we're basically saying, let them learn whatever the West has to teach, we don't have anything to offer them on that topic. Right? And then we wonder why they have become so lost. Teach them,

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teach your own children about these things, right. And if you find it difficult to teach him find him a teacher who can teach him about these things. But these topics have to be spoken about. Ayesha cordula, although she was upset on that occasion, later on, she was very grateful that Mr. Lim and the other woman would actually ask about these things.

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One last story to end up with, and I say the story for last because it's, it's really hard catching about just how strong homeschooling was emotionally, and how intelligent she was.

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Initially, and I would call her. They had a small child called me

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and

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was very cute kid, that he had a pet bird, and Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam would go and visit him and play with him with his buddies keep his body in a cage. And even when his blood died,

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my father knew when

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he comforted the child over the date of his birth. And again, this is parenting. You know that when you do the child intervene if you recognize what the child likes, and you you share the child's pain and losses, you don't undermine it. This creates the love between the child and the adult right

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To

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the burden mean anything to the adults, right is the child's birth that most adults ages the child's birthday, just like Rossum actually took the opportunity to go and give his condolences to a small child over the date of his birth. This created a bond between the

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two of us. This is why you children of the Sahaba love to rasulillah. Compare this to today. Today, we want to beat the Quranic children with sticks. And we wonder why they don't love the Quran. And honestly, Malik says Russell never raised his hands against him even once, anyway, and we wonder why they loved him so much. The Love comes from this that connection. So I will make a small child cute child knew him, you are the child. Don't mess with him. He gets very sick. This child is very sick. And he has to go out for jihad. And he doesn't want to go for Jihad because he doesn't want to leave a sick child at home. Without him he has to be away from his child HIV sick, eventually tells him Go

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ahead, I'll take care of the child. I look after a woman you go out and you fight, you do a duty to Allah subhanho wa Taala out to get the check. So I will leave some he goes out for the admission while he's away.

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A boomin passes away. Now, again, looking at this from the perspective of a mother. Imagine being a mother and your husband is out of town and your child has died.

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How do you deal with that?

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omission Miss Lane, she tells everybody in the house. Nobody tell her what happened to his son. Let me be the one to break the news. Right. She let me be the one to bring the news to him that a woman has died.

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I wouldn't have come home. And he The first thing he asked for 45 over the way the first thing you ask is how a woman and Miss slim tells you he is he's more peaceful than before. Right? And she'll tell you what happened. So she cooks him a lovely meal.

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He has a lovely meal. They have an intimate evening together. And after all that.

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She turns to him and she tells him

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they beautifully articulate that she tells you it's enabled her to borrow something, and the only ones who

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really have the right to keep it. He said no. If you borrow something, you should give him back. You should expect to give it back. So Muslim tells him, Allah dentist one of his shows, and he has a problem where

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Allah is taken back what he then does, look at this. Look at the children at something Allah gave her. She looked at the children and something that Allah lent him.

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He will take us back as well.

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Now when she tells us

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he got quite angry, the Why do you have this? Are they going to tell me straightaway? And so he goes, and he tells also love. So now what do you say What happened? And also some smiles. And he tells him may Allah put dressing in the night, just

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nine months later, who may actually give birth to another child.

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Abdullah even told how. And this child was a blessed child. He grew up to be a very famous man and from history, many of the jobs he did and many of the scholars of Islam.

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Now this morning, when I first read it, many years ago, I was puzzled. What's going on? You want to mess with me? Why is she doing it? Why is she just telling you when he comes home? Why did she leave after that? And these are the questions that went through my mind.

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Because really, I could not understand this, this the psychology behind what she had.

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But after much reflection and pondering over the story and reading many books about it,

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you begin to understand why she did what she did. And we actually learned very important lessons in the husband wife relationship.

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Psychological

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meaning he's away from his wife, American relations. He's tired. He's psychologically worried about his son. He's frustrated.

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Frustrated,

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he's in a bad mood. Any man who goes on a journey, without his wife, with a sick child at home, when he comes back home is going to be tired, he's gonna be hungry, you're gonna be frustrated. And all of that puts a man in a very bad mood. This is a natural this season that nature of men, right? That is a man that he's washed.

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When he's a man and he's happiest and most relaxed.

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After all of his needs are satisfied. That's when the magic is happiest.

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Not only sleep understood that if you're going to break bad news to a man, the worst time to break is when he enters the door of the house. And the best time to break is when he's relaxing the night and everything is over.

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Today we do the opposite. As soon as the husband comes home from work, this is broken down, he broke when the children were traveling, we we need to buy this, we need to buy that and what happens has been losing his temper and he starts fighting with the wife. Why do they What did they do wrong? Are they wrong? Right? Take a listen for the Muslim.

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Muslim understood that when a man walks in the house, he's not in the his. He's not in the right state of mind to your bad news. He's not. Right. She was afraid that if she told I would tell her at that point in time that his son had died in that state of hunger and tiredness and frustration, no matter how high it is, because he's a human being, he's going to say something we might be wrong, he got to do something that might be wrong. And she she's worried about protecting our husbands. This is how we righteous wife thinks Giovanni about herself. She's worried. Now, psychologically, from her perspective, does a woman whose child has died, does she have the emotional capacity to prepare

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a good meal, I have an intimate evening with a husband and delay the news that the child is dead, that she have them. How strong is obviously emotionally that she's able to control herself and able to do all of this, knowing that the best time to break a news to your husband is when you relax at the end of the day, you know how much she had to control herself, not to cry, not to let out the emotion that her son is dead, not to in any way show any sign of it. And to go through all of this, at that point in time. So what did we learn from this is that obviously,

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was a very emotionally strong woman. And a very intelligent woman who understood the man who understood the mind, the mindset, and the mentality of a man. Right. And so obviously,

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with this in mind, this is what she did. So we think we take a lesson from this romantic relations, when it comes to the husband, wife relationship, right?

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wives, woman, they have a need to talk and for conversation. And for companionship, this is the need and the right of a wife, the husband must fulfill this for the man. He needs. Quiet Time, he needs to be alone.

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Right? Every man needs especially after work. Now what happens in our communities is a clash. man wants to be alone, once upon a time wife wants to talk to what happens when the fighting

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islamically or psychologically, whichever way you look at it, the best way to deal with it is come to a party compromise certain time for the husband to be by himself so that if we're talking to each other, right, do this, and you see how much happier your homes will be. If you set a time of the day where you need to be alone. Give me one hour of alone time. And the wife understands it. And she leaves her husband alone for one hour. He's a happier head. And then after that in the future sleeping He gives a one hour quality conversation, not pretending to listen to her while looking at his cell phone. Right. Quality conversation time. Looking at the eyes. Not Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's

00:43:24--> 00:44:03

nice. That's nice. That's nice. You mentioned talking about somebody that's nice. That's nice, no quality conversation. Right? Right, give you a wide quality conversation time. And you will see she'd be a much happier person and meeting the rights and needs of the opposite. Gender is something we don't understand, mutually understood that one of our men's primary needs is a very kind of a very, he needs intimacy. He can't think straight without it. He's in a bad mood. Without it. He gets angry quick without it. So she felt if she takes care of that first, you'll be in a better mood to hear bad news. So ladies, if you got bad news for your husband, the best time to break the news is

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after I got when he's angry and frustrated and you know, we just came back home from work. So homeschooling teachers these lessons.

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We spoke about generosity. We spoke about the we spoke about courage you spoke about intelligence we spoke on emotional control, parenting, marriage, the fact that you wouldn't compromise a religion for the sake of marriage. The other compromise the deen one last lesson for life, generosity, whom is really

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well known for the generosity. And one clear example of that is a story with an indigo lady. In the time everybody was hungry. She's the one who invited them over for another story of

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Rasulullah sallallahu. On one occasion, he recited the verse

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that you do not have piety unless you spend in charity that which you love.

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Think about it.

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It is not righteousness, unless you spend from that which you love. Meaning many of us today when it comes to charity, we think giving away old clothes, giving away leftover food that's about to go off. We didn't just charity. Allah tells us in the Quran, oh, charity is to give that which you love your

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wife, buy something nice for somebody, right? You know someone who doesn't have good in the house, buy them new clothes, in someone whose children can afford to buy them new toys. That's challenging. When you give something you give it away? No, it actually hurts

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my kids, right? That's real charity, not just giving away old things. So

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when he asked his boss, I can see the righteous.

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When he was what does he think about? He says, Let me give away charity, the theme of this dunya that I love the most. Because the piety is giving away what you love. High levels of piety is giving away things you love the most. So he goes home. And he tells his wife that Listen, this farm and garden we live in. I'm giving it all away to charity. So we have to move out.

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How do you think a wife would react to that used to come home with, you know, a home? I'm giving you a charity? Can you do an orphanage or whatever the case may be this move up, you're gonna go into small flats, and how you think the average person will get home. It's really my only reaction was Have you told her food last

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night when he said yes, she was happy. And that was it. Why? Because just like a husband, who means to them understood. That challenge is giving you what you love. And she wasn't interested in this world. She didn't marry, I would tell her for his money. She said that she don't want your money.

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So now she be tested for that remember, any claim that you make in this world, along with history regarding that claim. So always think that she's not many obatala for his money, flying and giving all his money away charity. This is a test that she made.

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She didn't mean it

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at all, she was not interested in money. So this is methylene hora de la vida rwisa, minimal hand,

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one of the first people of Medina to accept Islam. And again, many of us when we think of the answer and the module, we think of the men, we don't think that one of the first people to accept Islam in Medina was a woman. And she went through struggles, and she assisted Rasulullah saw from day one. She wasn't involved in the battlefield. And she was you know, she was an active member of the community on every level. And she was a role model in so many ways. The only thing

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that we end with the Heidi's of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam

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Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam had a dream that he was in China.

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And while he was walking in China, he heard the sound of someone walking behind him. And he turned around.

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And he said he says about the GPS is I was in general and I heard a rustling sound behind me. I turned around and I saw our visa meet the man who

00:48:23--> 00:48:25

when he saw Mr. Limited

00:48:26--> 00:48:29

she received the glad tidings agenda to this work.

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Again, the misconception anyway, only 10 people will see the glad tidings agenda.

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We spoke about one of them Africa will be dying because it wasn't just him. It was 10 on one occasion, the many other occasions we have a particular agenda below. Agenda, Khadija will Ayesha was in Atlanta is agenda on this occasion. rwisa which is the name of methylene. She was given the glide agenda while she was alive. And she looked for a long time of course, she only passed away in 48 inch, which means she looked for like almost 30 years after the time of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam right into the time of Alina time. Now, she was one of those who opposed the Muslims fighting each other in a civil war and she was one of those who

00:49:22--> 00:49:59

was quite outspoken about it. She's in the range of reported a decent as you mentioned, we we learn about intimate issues and difficulties regarding it. We learned that from her. So he's been putting that we end with the Hadees that literally was given in her life epiglottitis agenda and her life story is testimony to why if you think of any quality of a true Muslim, she had, she had strong emotion. She was uncompromising on the deal. She chose the dean before husband, the dean before second husband, the dean before the junior the dean before everything

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She's uncompromising. She's a role model of choosing a good partner family. Right? Then he really staunch about who she married, and why she married him. And what she got in exchange for it. She was the role model parent, in how she sacrificed her son to grow up to be righteous individuals.

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And that is a sense of grandchildren and great grandchildren. You know, from her progeny come some of the greatest Muslims of the next three or four generations, not just the first generation, his generation of generation of readers. She was a role model of someone who was able to control her emotions and think intelligently, irrationally, at the time when most of us just picked up. Let's face it, one of the hardest tests that any human being can face is the death of a small child in the family. It's just something most of us here, I think all of us your parents, we can't imagine, right? It's just too difficult. But the fact that she was able to think straight, and come up with a

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plan, even be so articulate in a choice of words, at a time like that shows you a very high level of demand, and a very high level of emotional control and intelligence. She was courageous and brave, wasn't afraid to die for the sake of love to be in the frontlines of the battlefield. She was generous. And she was from the answer. And this is the quality of the answer. They helped

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me in every way, when people were running away and when in the answer,

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writing experience, when Rosa was hungry in Medina, he went to the

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house to eat.

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around the house, it was the answer and the money was sent to serve in his house. Right, this is how big this is how the community was formed. So it was, you know, we see that the Muslim dhamaka came to Medina, and they found refugee, it wasn't a refugee in a vacuum. It was people had to make sacrifices in Medina to create the type of society that the people of MakerBot come in love it

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has been accomplished people who made those sacrifices, so that we end for today and we ask Allah to help us to follow in the footsteps of the early Muslims and to take our role models and to benefit from the lives he saw next week. We will look at the story of Amazon

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rhodiola one who has requested by one of our attendees, we only have a few weeks left before Ramadan exactly about 40 days. So please start your spiritual preparations for Ramadan inshallah. And I'll talk a bit more about that in the upcoming weeks being easy.

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And because we have just a few weeks left, we only be able to cover about four or five more Sahaba for any specific Sahabi whose life you want us to talk about and discuss. Please suggest your topics to us and we will continue the inshallah for the next five weeks, so that we will have

00:52:45--> 00:52:47

a run, walk through the Juana

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alameen wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh