Getting To Know Your Future Spouse

Hussain Yee

Channel: Hussain Yee

Series:

Episode Notes

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Episode 4 (Ta’aruf Time)
The next step to take after identifying your future spouse, is to get to know them, or to have a ta’aruf session. It is where the potential husband and wife meet and discuss in an orderly and more impotantly shari’a compliant manner. But how is it done? What are you supposed to discuss? What can and can you not ask each other.

Episode Transcript

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Dear brothers and sisters,

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so we are back again to the night column program.

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Now today inshallah we'd like to share with you again about

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the importance

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to know, what should we ask?

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Or is there any important thing for us to ask our future partner, when we will allow to meet up with them, because the Prophet samosa lamb remind us we want to get married to somebody is your cry

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for the male or the female, to look at your future, but you have the right to look at each other. And you have the right even to discuss matters, to see that the both of you

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for each other, meaning we do not know something, just one look, we do not know. So you have to start to communicate. But if you are serious to get married, with anybody that you know, you should sit down, have coffee around, and then start to discuss about thing that is important for you.

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Example, if you're not sure whether that sister or that brother is a practicing Muslim or not, you have the right to ask him. No, I just want to know,

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do you have a sound understanding about Islam? Now, I have gone through some friend before who asked the lady or the girl about? Do you know? How many pillar of Islam

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that article of faith, very basic thing about Islam? Sometimes people feel offended? Why? Why are you asking this? Because this is a very basic thing that every Muslim should be able to, to answer. But sometimes you will be caught by surprise that even the basic thing we may even forget, they will even ask, have you been praying? Do we have any problem in praying five times a day. I mean, this is something you have to write to us to make sure that you know what you're involved in. If you know that the system is a bit weak in this area, and then they want to learn and Hamdulillah, then it's easy for you to get them. If not, maybe you may have some problem in the future. The same goes to

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the sister example, if you want to know whether this future man who's going to be your husband is a drinker. Or whether he's a gambler, or whether he's a smoker, you can know if he knows me, you can even ask him, you know, I just want to know, if you if we can marry Do you think you can stop smoking example. I don't know whether it's practical to us, it's very practical, because you want to have a healthy family, you want to make sure that our husbands are not involved in anything that is not good, or the bad habits, that they're in war, if they can stay away, they can change and have them just an example. Because if you're not careful from the beginning, then of course, you're gonna

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face a problem. You don't like smoke, smoking, and then now he lives smoking. Now, all these kinds of things also can cause a lot of unrest in family members. So this is the basic thing you can ask how private is how private it is, after you ask each other? Of course, you have no right to expose it to other people, or this man is not good for me because he knows nothing about the dean. He is these his death? No, no, you don't have to say it's up to you to decide now, whether this guy is going to change after you discuss with him. And if he's said that, yeah, he is changing. Now he wants to be a better person. Alhamdulillah if he said, No, this is me. You have to accept, know me

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as who I am, then of course know how to prepare yourself. I give you an example. In our country in Malaysia now. If any new capital want to get married, they have to go to a HIV test. Why? To make sure that elbow didn't know what the in was in both party not only the male or the female to not say you cannot get married, you can still get married but you know that what you walk in now you're clean both parties clean Alhamdulillah if one is having some problem, and then you still know like to proceed with the marriage, you can, but now you can not give an excuse that in the future. You want to end the marriage because of these problems.

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Because you are aware of that problem from the beginning, you have all the right to ask what you think is important for you, you know, do you have a stable job now, of course there is your right to to ask whether, you know, to make sure that the future husband is ready to accept you and to carry out his responsibility. These are basic things you have the right to ask them. So I think as a Muslim, when you understand the deen properly, and you follow the Quran and Sunnah, you'll know What rights do you have? And what kind of questions to ask but even though there are some weaknesses here and there is a duty to

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cover the weaknesses of your partner, not to expose them to the public, so that the public will not gossip about any party. So May Allah safeguard us and also protect us from further fitna. And please don't ever expose the weaknesses of another brother or sister to anyone. We are not protected from this Phaeton. If you're not careful, I mean your element of electro physically will upgrade that one hour hum did Allah Subhana Allah be handy? A shadow lane in Stratford kawakubo la salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.