Beginning Of Guidance 22

You're listening to the Calum Institute podcast series, beginning of guidance by Mr. Singh Kimani

To find out more information amongst the saints column course entitled the prophetic code, a study of prophetic manners and etiquette. Visit Olam institute.org slash prophetic code

100 law Family Law who aka FAFSA Domino Mustapha Susana de seguro suitable halterman MBA, early Hill, Ischia was fabulous another,

we are studying the book by amount of azadirachta law highly titled, The beginning of guidance.

In this book Eman cazalla de la la, he focuses on three main discussions, and therefore, he's divided the book into three main chapters. The first part of the book, remember saga hasta, la la, he informed us of all of the things that we needed to do. And the way he categorized all of the discussions was, he walked us through an ideal 24 hour day, he woke us up in the morning and walk us through everything we do hour by hour and then at night put us back to sleep. That was the end of the first discussion the first chapter, at the end of that first chapter, everyone was augmented by how they had certain extra discussions how to praise the law, how to be an email, how to pray Gemma

how to fast under Milan, extra discussions. That was the summary of the first chapter. The second chapter of the book amount was added on to the law highly he discussed, all the things that we need to stay away from what are the major things that we need to stay away from. So the first part of the book was about engaging things to do. The second part of the book was regarding things not to do. And while discussing all the things we should stay away from, how he organized, his discussion was, he said that the one common thing that must exist in order for a person to disobey Allah is the body. The body part is the one thing that must be used any a limb of yours, some part of your body

must be used to this will be allowed without using your body, you can't this will be Allah subhana wa Tada. So therefore Lindemann was added on to La la, he walked us through the body parts, that this is the body part, this is how you misuse it, this is how you should use it. And he walked us through all of our body parts. In that second chapter, the last part of that chapter, he mumbles it after walking us through the body parts. He said that now there are certain sins that are conducted not with the lives of your body, but they are conducted with the heart. And that's where a man was added. After that he focused on certain Sins of the heart. Now he only highlighted a few of them.

The detailed discussion regarding the sins of the heart can be found any man was added to the law, he had his original work that he alamuddin. Now after finishing off those two chapters, the Mongol zombie Abdullah, Holly now continues his discussion to the last part of the chapter, last part of the book. And the last part of the book is actually one of the most beautiful parts of his works. And what he says here is that look, you can do all the things you need to do, you can do all the ibadah you want to, and at the same time, you can refrain from sins day and night. But if this last part is missing, everything will be ruined. And when is the last part, the etiquettes? The other?

What should be your etiquettes? What should be your manners, but the people around you? How do you interact with your teacher? You're going to have teachers in your life everyone has a teacher, whether it's your teacher for math, what is your teacher for English? What is your teacher for science? Or what is your teacher teaching with a hold on? You're going to have a teacher? How do you interact with that teacher? At the same time, you're going to have students as a teacher, how do you deal with your students? You're going to have friends of yours, how do you interact with them, these are the job is it is these etiquettes are the core of the team. And you have to realize that

fulfilling your obligations just isn't enough. staying away from the hot arm just isn't enough. The most important aspect of the team, the most important function of the religion is to bring into people good character and good manners. So if there is a person who worships all day and stays away from home all day, but that person has the most horrible matters, then this person has missed the goal. He's missed the purpose of the deed, it's as if the arrow and right through them and he missed the prey altogether. You know, the the function of religion is to make people better. And we talked about some drama, about a loss of Hannah Montana, he hasn't only given us a way to worship him. He's

given us a way of life. And this is what we call Dean. Dean is a complete way of life. It teaches you everything. And for us as Muslims living in the West, this discussion is that much more important, because I'll also count on what data has sent us to this land for the purpose of giving Allah, Allah Subhan Allah has sent us here so that we can convey the message of Islam to other people. Now there is an aggressive way of conveying Islam to other people where we stand on the streets and open up our tables and we start screaming Islam, Islam, Islam, and debate and argue with everyone. That's the easier way talking. You know where you have whenever you have to talk. That's

the easier way of doing the job. The tougher way of doing the job is to not talk into convey the message through your

Through your actions. So as a parent, I can easily scream at my child and shout out my child and say get up and pray so long. That's the easier way you understand. That's the easier way of doing it. The harder way is where I don't tell my child but through my action I lead him and then if need be after leading through my actions as a word of encouragement, I then encouraged him I pushed him forward. That was the most beautiful thing about the prophets of Allah ohana was some of the problems that a lot of it was set them led his example through his actions, right so if the prophets of Allah why they would set them for example, if he was going to tell the companions to pray the 100

Salah before telling them to break the hedges he was first spend the whole night praying to themselves. And after spending that I paid 200 themselves that in the morning the purpose of a lot of money was cinema, tell us hava it's time for you to not afraid to hydrate soda. If the promise of a lot of money was cinemas going to tell us a habit to be patient. He wasn't just skip firing empty words of patients, the promise that a lot of what he was selling himself had led them an example and showing them what patience actually meant. So everything that we have, the most beautiful thing about our Deen is that our Deen was practiced by the prophet himself. The Deen was practiced by him,

he never felt or never said once that he was above the religion. The religion didn't apply to him. As what happens to these people they feel they're above their religion and the religion only applies for other people. One of my friends, he would fall he followed another religion. And he he converted to Islam. And he was telling me about his experience with his previous religion. He said our leaders would tell us Do as I say, but don't do as I do.

What were the what were their leaders tell them Do as I say, but don't do as I do, because I'm a human being, you know, my examples not there. But do as I say, whatever I say I you do that but what do you see me what I'm doing? Don't follow me. And are learning from the Prophet sallallahu wasallam? Is what?

Do as I do? Everything I do, make sure you do it too. Because there's perfection in there. I lead by example, you won't find ever the purpose of a long holiday with some speeding threes. We'll do there was a way of doing what he followed it. The etiquettes of the matter is whether Allah subhana wa tada send us to this lab to give Dawa and as I mentioned, there's an easier way of giving Dawa, which is through your words, and then there's a tougher way of giving Dawa. But it's more effective, which is giving Dawa through your actions. Have you guys ever gone to

for advice? For example, have you ever gone to a doctor, and he's giving you medical advice, but while giving you medical advice he's smoking? How do you feel?

I feel like oh, this is not right. You're giving me medical advice. And you're smoking yourself, like a contradiction there. Or if you ever go to, for example, like a lawyer and you find that that guy's cheating, he's lying to everyone. You think yourself that guy is supposed to be the standard of justice. And here he is, he's cheating the system? Or if you go to a personal trainer, who was eating McDonald's, the hotel that they live in, look at that guy and say, what kind of role model are you? You're supposed to be a healthy person, you're supposed to be a guide. And here you're eating without john and McDonald's and you're chatting away on all this unhealthy food? What kind of

example are you? The example is not to guide through words, it's to guide through actions. And this is a very important thing. A lot of them huddle without a sentence to this land, and we have to realize that we are the DAO for this country. No one else is coming. The cavalry isn't coming. We are the cavalry. So no one else is coming here to give Allah and in reality, you know, a lot of the scholars we used to come to this country have not been denied visas for whatever reason. So now we have to realize that the burden of Dawa and the responsibility is on our shoulders. And that's where it becomes so much more important for us to start acting like Muslims. Because everywhere we go

people see us as Muslims. And we can't believe that Islam is only in the actions. Islam is in the manners. You know, the the poet he says, at the will emphasize, you have total coloration kulu, haga that Oh, my dear friends, build in yourself good manners. Because every pathway of love must go through good manners. If you don't have good manners, there's no such thing as good love. There's no such thing as love. I can, you know, send you a text message. Get over to my house in 10 minutes. But if it's your beloved, you can't just say get over to my house in 10 minutes, you have to first start off saying Astronautical, how are you doing? My beloved? Is everything going? Good? How was

your day today? Okay, please come to my house in 10 minutes if it's convenient for you. So you see how the whole conversation is changed because there are there's other there's etiquettes there in a monograph with ally Holly, he used to say that a student of knowledge, before seeking knowledge must learn the available knowledge first, before you actually even open a book of knowledge. And he says regarding himself, that his mother took him to his teacher, and his mother, mother said to him, Go and sit with the teacher. And I don't want you to listen to his words. Just look at him and learn from learning the manners of sitting with the teacher. And in my mind, it says I sat with my teacher

for years. And after sitting with him for years, I learned how to respect my teacher. And after I had accomplished that part of my Dean manners, and then after that, when I went to seek knowledge, my knowledge began to benefit me so much more and a lot to come.

levels that are you know that everyone is aware of my Malik is Mr. Malik. And not only him but many scholars. The idea was first to learn at first to know how to seek knowledge, first know how to be a good human being. There was a scholar from the subcontinent. His name was shift, I should probably tell you the hood, Allah had a famous scholar. He once said to his students that my goal in life is to not make scholars. What did he say? My goal in life is to not make scholars. Then he continued on saying my goal in life is to not make the wealthy the wealthy means the high class, the high friend of Allah, that's not my goal, either. So someone asked him, What's your goal? He said, my goal is in

Sancho in Santa Ana. My goal is to make humans into human beings. Because right now we're acting like a bunch of animals. We've lost, we've forgotten what it means to be human. So we can talk about the Avada have that happier than Island, these are all later discussions, the first thing you need to figure out is how to be human beings. And to be honest with you, I just came back from Hajj maybe 10 days ago, or two weeks almost now. So when we when I, when I was there, one thing I noticed was that people were sincere, they were so sincere people were, you know, they were pushing themselves in a bar that the average person there was going above and beyond and they bother. But the one thing

that I saw most people were lacking in was good manners. You know, you stand in line and 10 people kind of in front of you. And then you think to yourself, somehow, maybe this is the reason why Allah has given honor to some of the Western countries because at least they have manners. You know, this is something that we lack in and it's you know, it's a very sad thing, because our religion is the one that teaches us these things, we were the people that were supposed to be conveying these things. So here, mumbles Avi ontologically, he focuses on the matters. And when we talk about matters, never for a single second think that this discussion is secondary. It's not primary. People

think when they think of mannerisms, they think secondary discussion, primary discussion, these are the father haraam. That's it. No, manners are at the core of the they're the most important aspect. What would a religion be without manners? What would society be without manners? What would people be without manners? If a parent

gives the enemy an upbringing to their child and gives them everything except for manners, that parent has failed? The parent is still and this is a sad reality. Because in today's world, that's exactly what happens. parents give their children money, they make them into doctors, they give them everything. But the one thing that forget to teach those children are matters. And those kids that grew up and they come into society, they have bad manners, they're they look down upon their butt when they come home. Now they sometimes those bad manners with their parents, and it's a double loss. So here your mom was loaded up with Allahu Allah says that the first part of the book was

important. But the most important thing are your manners. And the prophets of Allah Hollywood said them he says, in a tradition, that the best of you is the one who has best character in the best manners. The problem is that a lot while they were seldom said, the most weighty thing on the Day of Judgment, will be good manners. This is what will matter most how you're adopted or how your flock will have your characteristic was this what matters most. I always quote McKee Shapiro of money. Mr. Shapiro of money said something very beautiful. He said, If I had a daughter, and there were only two people left on the face of the earth to marry my daughter to one was a scholar without matters,

and the other was an ignorant person with beautiful character. He said, I wouldn't think twice and I would have my daughter marry the second person, because a scholar would justify his horrible character through his knowledge. And scholars have done that. He would have pressed my daughter and justified through his knowledge, that man, at least with his good character, he would love my daughter, he would look after my daughter, maybe one day he'll learn maybe one day he won't learn. But for my daughter, the most important thing is to live with someone who has good manners. If you cannot adopt good manners, if you can't be a good person, right? Let me tell you one thing.

Maybe someone hasn't told you this yet, but I'm gonna say it for them. They're annoyed of you, your husband, your wife, your children are probably dead annoyed of you, your brother and sisters, relatives are tired of you. They make dua to Allah one, is his animal going to leave our house? Right? What did this person want to come back? And when he calls home and says I'm coming, rather than getting happy, they get very, they get very angry and sad that why is this guy really coming back? Couldn't he have had an accident and died on the way home? The hotel

is okay?

They don't like you. And I'm telling you because they haven't had the heart to tell you because maybe they have good manners, right? But here you're lacking them with manners and you don't realize it. So learn to develop good manners and yourself. And they manifest themselves at every level. How are you as a person with your children? How are you as a person with your parents? How are you as a person with your spouse? This is what matters most. Right? How are you as a person with your teacher with your students with those who are working underneath you who you employ? How are you as a person with your neighbors? How are you as a person with your clients? This all matters and this is at the

core of the theme. So now that's what was it? That was ally ally. He brings us discussion, and he talks about the matters. Now when the man was on he talks about matters here. He says that we'll talk about all the matters, but what's the most important matter

What's the most important matter that you should have?

So, you know, as Ali says, the most important aspect of matters is to learn to have manners with Allah offers. If you don't have matters Allah, how could you worship Allah, in your mind, you need to have a understanding and understanding of what the deen is what Allah is, you know, I mean, not figuratively what the lies but you know, as an idea that how you should interact with Allah subhana wa, tada, this is one thing that I really appreciate from back home from the subcontinent or, you know, our countries where our parents came from. One thing you'll notice there is that people had a general appreciation for the religion, and they have certain matters for the religion. So for

example, if they're listening to music, and the shift came in, what would people generally do? They would turn it down, it wasn't because the shift for someone it was because they said that person is a man of Allah, you know, he's a person of the religion, and that an honor for our Deen will respect this person. People, they did these things, right? If a chef came over, they will let you know, Chef give extra respect, when the honor to go on the women when

they would cover themselves, the men would also cover themselves. This was things and this isn't only one or two countries, this is an every country in the world, people had a general appreciation for their religion, they knew that these were people these were things that should always be respected. In today's world, unfortunately, it seems like we've also distanced ourselves from that, too. You know, if a person decides to cover themselves when the event is being called, rather than appreciating that and encouraging it, what do we end up doing? We make we make a mock out of it. You know, we make fun of these people. Now look at this guy's covering at the time of the add on, you

know, a lot was before that a lot a lot of Africans on what's the point of covering for the other. So rather than encouraging, and we discourage it, and we put these people down even further, that person feels You know what, I wasn't doing much anyway, now that one now whatever I'm doing isn't being appreciated. How about the second thing altogether? You know, not too long ago, one sister, she contacted me. She said that sometimes when people when they teach Dean To me, it's so overwhelming that I feel that Dean isn't for me, and I just leave I feel like leaving it all together. And I kid you not her exact words were to me that I just feel like I don't want to be

Muslim anymore. Because of the way people impose their thoughts that even though people don't appreciate whatever little I'm trying to do, so we need to learn or adapt in our manners with Allah subhanho wa Taala. That's the most important thing. And this is where a man was, it starts chapter three, we started from page 128, and the translation translation at Arabic paid 129. This will

know that your companion is the one who never parts from you, whether you are at home or you are traveling, whether you are asleep or awake and indeed in your life and at your death is none other than your Lord, your protector your master in your career. So why is your Lord the most important to have good manners with symbols all the answers that he says the reason is because he doesn't leave you when you're at home. And that is a lovely view when you're traveling.

He doesn't leave you fino Mika wacka wacka tikka, he doesn't leave you when you're awake and alive is not part of you when you are sleeping either. He says but is the hierarchy como motika. Allah subhanho wa Taala is present with you throughout your entire life. I want you to think about that for a second. Really just think about that for a second. Allah is with you for your entire life. People are going to come in and out of your life I want you to think of your life as a road and people are going to come in and out of it. The one constant being from beginning from the moment you open your eyes is the moment your heart began to beat from the moment you came into existence. Until

the day your soul is taken is Allah subhana wa Tada. You know, you feel bad betraying a friend. And you say that how can I betray my friend and we've been friends for 10 years? Yes or no? How can I retrieve my friend and we've been friends for 15 years, 20 years. So think about your companion Allah subhanho wa Taala who's been with you from the before your existence before you even came into existence allows us to deal with you. Allah was aware of you Allah is one who created you, and now allies with you right till you die. Anybody here after you're in the company, you're you're in the company of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So this is where he starts off by saying that's why it's most

important that you have the right matters of the law. Yes. Whenever you engage in remembrance of him, he's with you, as a lot most high says, I am the Companion of the one who engages in environments of me. So here the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us and could see that whenever you feel alone and you want to be in the company of Allah, how do you adopt that special attention of a law, that special Mercy of Allah, how do you like to adopt that company? You remember Allah subhanho wa Taala. When you remember Allah, Allah remembers you a lot becomes your companion. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, if you remember me, Allah says at the footsy, that if

you remember me in your heart, I will remember you as well. And if you remember me in a gathering, I will remember you in a gathering that is better than yours. Many of you know you can remember a lot with a bunch of friends. Now your friends alone knows what value they are. Maybe they're people who have no value in the sight of Allah. Maybe some of them do have value in the sight of Allah. But Allah remember doing the gathering of His angels.

All as top notch and then if you walk from Allah says Allah will run to you mean the mercy of Allah will gush towards and you will progress towards you in your direction. So if you ever feel lonely and you want to be in the company of someone, rather than filling out your phone and sending your friend a WhatsApp message or a Facebook message or a text message, or rather than sending your friend, a Twitter message, the best thing to do is to just close your eyes and make a little bigger and you automatically become in the

presence of a lot. That's why the shield needs to say

in regards to how much the shot of the Messiah is to say that the one who performs Hajj properly. He brings the Kaaba back home with him.

You guys understand that? So whenever he wants to see the Kaaba, he just has to close his eyes and make a little ticket in his in the presence of the Kaaba, whatever he wants to go visit Medina again, he just closes his eyes. He's a little dude, he's in Madina munawwara again, you know, that's the beauty of Hajj. That's the beauty of visiting the holy cities, that they now travel with you wherever you go, because you build that connection, you built that relationship with the Kaaba, when you sat there and with the role of the Prophet and a lot of ceremony sat there. Similarly, if you are if you wish to be in the gathering of a love that special attention, remember a lot you will be

remembered about love, but Cooney can remember me, I will remember you. Yes. And whenever your heartbreaks with sorrow over your shortcomings in fulfilling the rights of your Lord, indeed, he is your friend and constantly companion as your Lord every time you fail. Remember that Allah is still with you. See, when you and I fail, we have to realize that we're probably disappointing someone, we're probably disappointing ourselves, maybe a friend, maybe our teacher, maybe our trainer, maybe someone out there that's being disappointed. But if you disappoint people, remember the allies with you, and he's never disappointed with you. Because Allah is more loving to you than your own

mothers. And a mother is never disappointed if our child, if a child is born with one leg as a mother ever disappointed. Know, if the child fails 1000 times the mother is never disappointed because she knows that's her child, she works with a child again, and help the child to come forward. So similarly, when I say disappointed, I mean, someone who's lost hope, kind of despondent, not respond to a loss of power that has never just bought another server, he waits for a servant to return back. So here he's teaching us that whenever your heart is broken, whenever you're very sad, you're very strength, you're strangled. And you're, you're worried you're cornered off, how do you

deal with it? remember Allah subhanho wa Taala. And I'll also head on without I will remember you, you allow you'll be remembered in the high gathering and then the mercy of Allah shall not upon you.

As your Lord most high says, I am with those whose hearts are broken for my sake. If you knew him truly, as he should be known, you will take him as your companion and leave people aside. You will leave people aside and take a lot of their companion, because people will leave you a lot will never leave you. If hypothetically, today you were imprisoned, hypothetically, let's say for example, for some reason you were picked up by the authorities and thrown into the prison. Everyone in your life would leave you and the only being that would be with you is Allah subhanho wa Taala that's why you'll find many people who go to prison. They actually Excel spiritually there. They grow a lot

they're you know, a lot of people when they come out of religion, they become very religious. I think when they come out of prison to become religious. Have you guys noticed that? The highest conversion rate is where so the prisons because people are reflecting they're they're getting, they're getting that real, they're getting reality that everyone in the world leaves you and it's alone that remains with you. There was a great scholar by the name of just Ahmed said Hindi, who was also known as magenta Italia hola era. He lived during the time of Aqua King Aqua. And during the time of King Akbar, there was a

there was a big fitna that hit the oma big test from Allah, and which was that King Aqua? Aqua, what he did was he introduced this new religion, he called it a DNA lie. It was basically a bunch of religions put together and ultimately you had to prostrate to him. And he was imposing this religion on every citizen of India. So everyone that was in India had to follow their religion in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh was all in one country at one big country at the time.

So there are a group of scholars who basically did jihad against them, they fought against him and their battles weren't only limited to the sword, there were also intellectual battles, they got up in the debate, they argued, and from amongst them was a scholar by the name of Shama, said Hindi, and the reason why they called him which is Italian which is

what the term lagenda it means as majestic means the renewer, the reviver alphatauri means the second millennium, meaning he was the revival of the second millennium, why they call them that is because had he not did what he did. It is very possible today India would not be a Muslim country. I mean, the Muslims that are there it's not majority anywhere, but the Muslims that are there probably would have been Muslim, they would have lost their religion at some point, and everyone would have followed everyone would be following this third religion this man created so as a part of his struggle at one point what happened was the king ordered

His arrest.

And he was arrested. And they imprisoned him. And he was in prison for a period. And it happened to be Subhan. Allah, what he did was all the people in that area in that block. Guess what happened? All of them. They all became Muslim.

He made that he did that what everyone? Not only that he didn't stop there every night. You know? The he says that everyone would gather together and they would make the kind of a law all you can hear from the cells is Allahu La Ilaha Illa. Who Allahu Akbar Subhana Allah. Imagine being a prick. Can you imagine a prison block? All you can hear is a lot. Can you hear? Can you imagine for a second, like, you know, no movie has ever been made like that, right? where everyone is just doing it, have a look. And he says that a point came where there was not a single prisoner who missed the 100 sold off for a full year

where the prison became the hub of spirituality. It became a hub of spirituality. And this is a big responsibility towards the community as well. I'm just going to bring this up as a side discussion, since we're here talking about it, that we should never forget about our brothers and sisters that are in prison right now. Some of them may be there because of a mistake. Some of them may be there wrongfully. And is that possible for someone to be in prison wrongfully wrongfully? Yes or no? It's absolutely possible. And if you think that's not possible, make the law that you're never put there wrongfully. Trust me, I have a friend who was in prison wrongfully for for four years. And they put

him in solitary confinement, he actually started the HIV program in prison. He said to me that I made two people hopping

in prison, what a guy and they put him in solitary confinement at one point, and he was in solitary confinement for over a year. And I said to him, how did you What did you do for a full year? He said, I used to do a lot of liquor and read a lot of put on I just sat there and read the Quran, read the Quran, read the Quran all day and all night. That's all I kept myself engaged in the record of Allah. He was wrongfully put there. He was later on released and 100 now he's back in the community. People are wrongfully put there, and some people are put there because of their mistakes. But they accepted the end up going there and they are not accepting because that's what prison does,

it gives you that time to reflect. Now what happens is, unfortunately, many of us were outside prison, we don't care about the Muslims that are in prison, who goes there to visit them? Who in this gathering can say that I've gone to visit the prisoners not a relative of mine that a friend of mine the prisoners to gone to give them dollar you can go you know that right? If someone wants to lead you masala there, they would be more than welcome to bring you in and heavily do masala. The biggest issue that prisoners have every year, and this isn't the US I'm talking about is that they they don't have enough funds to give them some food and a thought in the month of Ramadan. Most

prisons don't even have provide sohoton of thought. They don't provide it. So are we are Reekado for them. And one of my friends, he's a chaplain, he said to me, the prison gives a set amount of money that you know, for example, this year for a lot. Our budget is $10,000 make it happen. So he says because of the budget, what happens in Amman is because you know from a bond Muslims get a lot of good food, many prisoners become Muslim.

Many prisoners become Muslim. He said usually it's a one month Islamic contract where they become Muslim for a month because they thought, but it's a commission. The problem is that it's so many people become Muslim in Ramadan. The problem that I have is that how do I feed them all? Because then the Muslims won't give their parents room. So he said the challenge that I have is that if someone accepts Islam a week before Ramadan, I have to write down on the paper. They're not Muslim.

That's such a tough decision. I said to him, how do you write that? Even if the guy is accepting Islam, and he's saying it just for the sake of so whoever thought he said, I have a budget and I have Muslims to feed and the chaplain, I have to look over the whole program. So I said, well, that's not you can't do this. You can't say no to the person that says it's Muslim. So you know what he said to me? Oh, man, he gave me the best answer. He said, You move. These are all talk.

He said, my face. And I said, What do you mean? He said, If you really care, go bring me another 10,000 I'll have the whole prison become Muslim.

You can sit and give me a fatwa that what I can do what I can do, why don't you go to some fundraising and bring some money so we can feed everybody. And that really hit me honestly, it hit home and I thought to myself, this is a responsibility. We also have a responsibility to bring in care for our brothers and sisters that are locked up right now. Some of the greatest scholars in Islamic history were locked up. You guys have all heard of Damien Salahuddin. Some of you guys may have heard of him. If Damien was one of the greatest scholars, he spent a great portion of his life where

in prison, he was, you know what he used to happen. He was given a cell against the wall and there was a window there. And all of the students used to gather outside the window and he would give guns from the prison. I'm not kidding. I'm serious. He used to give notice from the prison he studied from the prison and everyone would gather around and they would sit there. There are so many examples of people who are caught under prison people who are prisoners, and nobody cared for them. What's another famous example of someone who was in prison wrongfully put their

use of it

setup, the profit of a lot of faith I use about a setup he was he put time into prison he put time in the cell, Can you believe that? The man put time in the cell? And you know, what did he do that he built a community there. So the reason why I talk about this is because we have this as a reminder, every one of us, wherever you donate money to our orphans, and our widows and others, all these other great causes that are that are in the community, we also owe a part of our wealth to our brothers and sisters that are in prison. If we look after them, when they come out, they will contribute back inshallah, when they come out of prison, it's our responsibility to give them jobs,

to help them grow. If we don't help them grow, they're gonna fall back into that circle a lot will hold us accountable. So now here, and when was it, he said something very beautiful. He says, know that when everyone in the world leaves you, the one constant being in your life is Allah subhana wa Tada. I know the Arabic code, he says,

liquid cliche in either part of the whole.

Everything that leaves you in the world, there's a replacement, everything that leaves you the room, anything that leaves, there's a replacement that comes after it, okay, your iPhone breaks, you can go get an Android equally, Shane is a part of the who I wasn't anything that leaves, there's a replacement for it. What he said in law, he in fact, have terminated. But the only thing that can never be replaced. If you remove a lot from your life, that can never be replaced, you can go to the gym all day, you can run all day, you can eat all day, you can do whatever you want, but that one gap in your life will always remain there. So note that down, yes.

If you knew when truly as he should be known, you will take him as your companion and leave people aside. If you are not able to do this all the time, then be aware of leaving your entire night and day devoid of a time spent alone with your master there in to taste the sweetness of intimate dialogue with him. So remember a lot is if you can't spend 24 hours, let's say for example, for argument's sake, you can spend 24 hours in the remnants of a lawn you can get 24 hours of sitting there and doing the Point taken. But at least give a portion of your day and night in which you remember most of the time without a dedicate something. dedicate a moment in your day in your night.

It could even be five minutes where you just really shut off from the world and you say, I'm going to make Vica remember Allah for five minutes from the bottom of my heart sees five minutes, I'm really going to give it my full heart, I'm going to do that. I'm going to remember a lot I'm going to pray Salah, whatever it is, whatever suits you this five minutes, who says they can get five minutes here. No matter how busy you are you you can get five minutes. If you say you can't, you're like, everyone can get five minutes. And if you still don't get five minutes, all that means is that you're being negligent. You're being careless. Just as you give time for your kids just as you give

time for your family. You know you don't give time to your wife. What happens?

She leaves you. Right? She divorces you and not only does she divorce in America, what does she do?

She takes your money too.

Right? There was a time where remedies to leave the marriage. That was a yarmulke tirra tirra tirra suggest that a long, long time ago. That's what happened. And today's what what happens is that not only do the marriage end, but you're also your money goes as well. Right?

So when people leave you here, you know, what are we talking? Yes, here, Sima de la Holly says that, you know, people you dedicate time to them. And if you don't dedicate time to them, they're gonna leave you, your children. If you don't get to get time with them, they're gonna leave you. Similarly, you have to give that time to your dean as well. You have to give that time to your Lord as well. That way you maintain that relationship. And that gap doesn't increase or decrease it. Yes. For this, you must learn the manners of companionship with a lot when you dedicate five minutes for the sake of Allah or when you do dedicate an hour for the sake of Allah or two minutes before you go

to sleep. How do you conduct yourself in those two minutes? How do you maximize? How do you make sure those two minutes are a real two minutes? Are there two hours equivalent? How do you maximize my mom a lot he walks us through the 14 matters that one should have with a lot. 14 very deep, very intimate matters that a person should have. If you can bring these 14 matters at any one given time into your life even for a minute. It is possible that one minute will give you agenda to hear after there's a hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says a person will be right in front of Allah and he will have 99 volumes of sin. You guys heard this howdy everybody, he will have 99

volumes of sin. And on the other side, he will only have one piece of paper. And that piece of paper will be put on the scale and it will outweigh the 99 volumes for that one piece of paper saying La ilaha illa Allah and the scholars who say that how that one paper will outweigh 99 volumes is because that one Lyla heilala will be uttered with the correct manners. With the correct etiquette that's when it beats everything else. Yes. And then imagine the prophets life who lived 24 seven with these matters. Not just one line. I love what I say.

full life his whole full life was in these matters. What are the Yes, the vendors of this company are keeping the eyes downcast so when you're in the gathering of Allah when you're in the when you're in your thick obsession, and when you're remembering Allah, what's the first thing you

you lower your gaze You don't look around, because when you're looking around is that good manners or bad betters, I'm talking to you and you're looking in there is that good manners or bad. It's bad manners, you should basic manners that you look, and with Allah somehow that you can look at a lot directly. So you should lower your gaze. If you were to stand in front of a king, you don't look at the king, that's bad manners. If you would do that. That's a sign that you don't even know what matters are. That's a good double slap in your face, you should learn to look down upon when you're standing in front of someone of great stature. If you stand in front of your father, do you look at

your father when you talk?

No, you're supposed to look down. That's the matter that you're supposed to have. For those of you who had parents from back home, you look at your dad and talk, what would you get

a slap on your face that would say, I'm your dad, you look down when you talk to him, You don't look on my face when you talk to me. Or if you're going to talk to me by looking at me. It's in casual conversation. But when you come to me to plead or ask me for something, then you look down when you're here to say sorry, you don't look at me and say sorry, you look down and say sorry. So even Savalas have handled that I told us, the officer some teaches us that when we pray, should we be looking around? Yes or no? No, you're supposed to keep your eyes focused on look at the place of such that from the beginning of your prayer to the end of your prayer. So the first thing he says

is, when that moment comes for you to engage in the thicket of Allah, lower your gaze verse, yes, with full concentration, bring all of your concentration in one place, forget all the worries of the day, put them to the side, you know, forget all the trials of the day, put them to the side, because tomorrow morning, they're going to be there again. So just learn to close the book, and pick it up tomorrow morning, you can have that book open 24. Seven, you know, there are challenges in your life, sometimes you have to just learn to close them and put them away. Just put them away and then focus on things that matter to you learn to focus on things that matter. And what matters most of

this time is Allah subhana wa Tada. So put that away, and not focus on Allah bring all your attention there. So what's a good example of cutting out distractions when doing data? Or when you're engaging? Remember, what's one thing good to do?

Turn off your phone. Is that a practical thing? Okay. I tell my friends, that if you want to focus in yourself out one simple thing that will help you focus in your salon. What do you pray to soda don't have your cell phone in the same room.

You guys understand that? What did I say? Don't turn it off, put it in your pocket. Don't even keep it in your room. I would even say if you're going to the budget, leave it in the glove compartment, leave it there altogether. You don't bring your phone to the machine. There's just something about the phone that it distracts you it just breaks you. You know, I remember 1111 shift, he called it the hell phone. Right? I shaved on.

We're just it's just the ship on that's with you all the time. And I realized the phone has good usage as well. So I understand that relax. The point that I'm making at this point at this time is that there are many negative aspects of the phone as well. So keeping a distance from it is a very great, it's a great thing. Some of the greatest scholars that I've met in my life, they were able to maintain their focus because they had little distractions. They didn't have TVs at home, they didn't have internet and because they didn't have these distractions, they can focus on things that matters more. So when you come for yourself, cut out the distractions, not being worried about Oh, what am I

going to tweet about it? What am I going to Facebook about? What am I going to do this? What am I going to do that that shouldn't be your goal, at least for the average person. It shouldn't be that shouldn't be your intention? Yes. Remaining silence. stillness of the looms. He's named to fulfill his command of remaining silent. That's another thing turned out to chatter talk too much obviously your lives Okay, you read whatever you want to your ticket. But obviously, overall tide remains silent. When you come to the budget, what's the one of the advocates of being in a budget?

Silence. So that because when you seal your mouth, a lot opens your heart and a truth what is actually made from the spirit from the heart. My teacher used to say, true crying is not crying of the eyes, it's crying of the heart. Some people can cry.

It's like my brother says tears on demand. Some people that have tears on demand when you just tell them and they close your eyes and start crying. But there are certain people who maybe can't wrap the tears out of their eyes, but in their heart, they're really just, you know, they're they're, they're crying inside their heart. That's the real tears and that's the real cry. Yes. So kudos on gelada be calm, be relaxed, not excessively moving. Like insula, Allah says, We're almost ilahi carnitine that when you're in Salah be focus be still don't move around too much. don't scratch your face when you're in Salah or cough or sneeze unnecessarily or sharp fixing your shirt. I've noticed

that back home impacts that when people go into such that they give more time fixing their Shahada unqualified before we're going to touch them. Have you guys noticed that they spent two minutes making sure to put it straight, you don't get any creases on it. The pants are straight and then they go into situ. And I have friends you know, in Saudi Arabia before they go into pseudo they make sure there that they have a top make sure it's in style before they go into suit and after they come out of surgery. They still on style.

Don't worry about that stuff. Don't give time to that you're in front of a law. That's more important at this time, not the rest of it, you're not a bride or groom of the day. So you know, let your clothes pass by and focus on things that are more important mubadala to

make sure you rush to fulfill the commands of Allah wasting. And stay away from the things Allah told you to stay away from pillar to the otter Raja Raja, don't make constant complaints against decree of Allah subhana wa Tada. This is an issue that we have people they make complaints against Allah order last command, your life is different than mine. Mine is different than yours. We shouldn't complain about a lot of Decree units, and we can ask a lot help for it. So there was one shift, he said something very beautiful. He said,

Lisa Riva herself, and your host Seville Bella, is this idea of being pleased with a lovely tree, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't feel the pain. So for example, if someone punches me here, it doesn't mean I shouldn't say out saying out when someone punches you is natural. That happens. But the thing is that I shouldn't say Oh Allah, why do you tell this guy to punch me? That's when you're complaining about decreasing? So for example, someone has a fever, is it okay for them to complain about it?

Or have a fever? My head's hurting. Temperature is really high. I'm in a lot of pain. Is that okay? It's absolutely okay. There's nothing wrong with saying My head is hurting, right? Because I'm in a fever or I feel like vomiting. There's nothing wrong with that. The problem is where you say, oh, why did you give me this fever? That's where the problem is. Okay. Your marriage rates to talk about that to be sat over it? Is that okay? It's a completely okay. What's the problem?

Oh, why did you do this to me? When you put it back to a lot, that's a problem. In a lower level, the challenges that you have feeling the pain, talking about the pain discussing, the pain is absolutely normal. But now when you attribute it to a lot of solo, why did you do it? That's the biggest issue because you and I never know what the reasoning is what Allah subhanaw taala does think a lot smaller. And Hakeem is always at a loss and others knowledge is beyond ours. There was an incident regarding the scholar whose name was a FIFA Dean, a thief with Dina said, he came to Egypt. And when he was there, he was told about the mass the mass massacre that occurred in Basra.

When he was told about this. He started crying and he raised his hand. He said, Yeah, don't be Oh, my lord. Why did you let that? Why did you let the people of badab be massacred when there are children amongst them? And there are those amongst them who haven't committed any sense at all. Have you guys does that statement sound familiar? Maybe it was probably made the statement when we heard about the bombing in,

in the Gaza in Syria. We thought about this too. Well, how could you do this to them? There are kids there there are widows there. There are those there who have never committed he since he made a similar statement. He says that night he fell asleep. in his sleep. He saw a book in a book, he opened it up and there was some poetry written there. And in the poetry, it said

in the poetry, it said that his phenomenal luck. The first part of the poetry said leave these objections against a law because that matter was never given to you. You were never given the option or the choice or the right to make this objection with 11 law. So leave that aside. That's not your job. What are the hook mafia Hakkasan finicky? Because the reality is that the order of a law is not contingent upon the moving of the stars in the sun. A lot does as he wishes. It isn't contingent upon anything Allah is not obliged to listen to someone or to do something for a particular reason. A lot as you wish you can ask the lepers mercy. That's okay. You can ask the Lord to give you

patience. That's okay. You can be thankful to Allah that's okay. But openly coming in objecting to a lot of why did you do this? No one is not positioned to make that sort of complaint Allah. Allah says la use alumni apolonia saloon allies never question the why he does something but however you will be questioned. Because your superior inferior and a lot of superior loves the greatest. What at this I love on unfairly Allah Subhan Allah purely Allah has never asked regarding his action. And whoever does engage and asking a law regarding decree and other why things happen. He is jumping inside a deep ocean, which will ultimately end up destroying him. So these are things that you don't

engage in, learn to be happy with a lot of decree, ask for his help ask for patients. That's okay. But don't sit here and question a lot on the motive or the reasoning behind why things occurred in your life. Yes.

Avoiding prohibited things, minimal objections to what he decreased for you. Constant remembrance of him constantly moments of Allah, keep your heart and tongue both engage in the romance of Allah. If you can't keep your tongue engaged, keep your heart engaged. If you can keep your heart engaged, keep your tongue engage. One of the best things to do to keep yourself engaged in the remembrance of Allah is to have a reminder, and I usually encourage people to keep up the speed Have you guys seen you know that the speeds that you have, you have the electronic with the speed and also with the beads? They're very useful because they serve as a reminder. You know, one of my friends, I always

see him he's an Imam is a chef. He keeps it this meat wrapped around his wrist. And because it's wrapped around his wrist, whenever I see him, he's always playing

Through, he's always making some sort of deck or the other you guys may have seen this. Our Masonic and our scholars, they always have at this meet with them. Why is that because it's a constant reminder, it's kind of like a watch, you have a watch with you, you keep track of your day, you don't have a watch for two hours passes by and there's no track of your day. So keeping a reminder, something that keeps you engaged in your ticket is also very powerful and important. Yes. persevering in contemplation, giving preference to the truth that is allowed by turning to him over all else. despairing of really being beings, humility, what he's saying here, be disparate. Be

despair from the creation of Allah. Don't be hopeful of them. Don't rely on people too much. learn not to rely on them so that you rely on Allah subhanho wa Taala. If you rely on your job to be your income, are you going to rely on a law? No. You have to learn to rely on a law and then let the job come in and be the filler but don't let the job be the foundation of it. So be despondent of the people. Right? Be despair of that and that you can rely on Allah subhana wa Tada. That's what he's teaching here. Yes, humility with and for the one who relies on Allah. If you can ever develop this characteristic inside you trust me.

Your life will change alone will open up doors for you that are beyond your imagination. I'm not sure if you guys remember, I think it was maybe earlier this year or last year, in one of these classes. I shared a story with you.

For those of you who don't remember, I'll share the story with you again. I was driving on this Western Western Avenue. Maybe it was like a month a year ago. So I was driving on Western Avenue. And as I was driving towards Yvonne, I passed by this bus stop and there was a guy standing there in Islamic garments. He was wearing a quota quota and he had a bag in his hand. He had a few bags in his hand. He was standing at a bus stop. So I said to my wife that there's almost a man standing there with a bag in his hand. He would have to get on the bus. I don't know where he's gonna go. He's gonna get off. He's gonna make his day so hard. Why don't we just go pick them up? I said I

have 15 minutes right now. I'll try to drop them off wherever I can. So we turned around, I came back there. I picked this guy up. I picked him up. We were driving and I asked him, where are you going? So I could tell something was a little off because he was created he was wearing a quota. Like I kind of threw it off. Right? So where you going? He said, Well, I got introduced to Islam not too long back. And after I became Muslim, my father kicked me out of the house. And this is me standing at the bus stop. I was just kicked out of the house.

So I said to him spatola this

you were kicked out of the house the rules shut their doors on you and Olufsen the movie with a limousine to come pick you up.

I mean, this amazing, right? I mean, I don't know how many people I can see I've given a ride to in Chicago. I don't know. Okay. But Allah sent me a lesson, you know, whether you're gonna go past they're gonna do a U turn, go and pick that guy up. I when I picked him up, I said, Where are you going to go now? He said, I don't know. The road is closed on me. I don't know what's gonna happen. I said, Brother, you know what? One thing about us is that we don't let people hang. We're going to take care of you. I made a few phone calls. One brother said, Senator my house, you can stay at my house. It was a college kid to come drop them off there. He said I need a job. I made a few phone

calls. I got a job as well. He contacted me two days ago to shift I just want you to know.

I really appreciate the housing that you sorted out and the job that you got for me, Allah subhanaw taala has made it such that inshallah very soon I'll be traveling abroad to go into coming to Ireland.

When I heard this, I thought to myself, wow. I said, What about your tuition? How are you going to pay for it? Like, I know your financial situation. He said, I relied a lot so far. I have a feeling he loves that kind of let me go. I don't need you. I don't need anyone else a lot easier for me. And when I saw this guy, honestly, my heart was screaming. I said, y'all Allah, I wish I had his heart right now. I wish I was like him. A man who really just didn't care. Now, I don't want you guys to think tomorrow morning to leave your job and sit at home and do it all day. And your wife's coming to a read me write the wire husbands don't work. That's another discussion. you all understand that

tire camel, it's there. But you know, the more you really give that heart to Allah, that reliance that Allah Allah takes care of your issues, a lot of takes care of your matters. There was a friend of mine in the UK. He came to me to shift I have a job interview. But they're telling me to cut my beard. What should I do? I said, Look, Brother, don't do it. Keep that beard it's some that alone will take care of you. A little while later his parents came to me they got angry me Why do you give her some of this advice and blah blah, they would all offer me. I said to him be patient. So However, he came to me three years later, he was driving in one of those very smart, four Audi cars.

The S for SRS and without an Uber is a very exclusive car. And it came with I said where'd you get this car from? He's it's upon Allah I left that I opened up a business and login success. He said not only do I have a beard, but I've dedicated my office a part of it to be able to sunlight as well. Everyone gathers there for saw the world people called wonder on you and Alvin's

palapas 10 more that's just the reality when people close their doors on you allies is testing you to see where do you stand was your reality.

on them was your reliance on a lot I can tell you 10 more stories and I'm sure each of you can share your own stories of how you witnessed this in your own life. That a door closed and then another one open, a door closed and then another one open. You were looking to get married. You thought you were gonna get married to a particular girl. last second something happened. You guys have all heard the story right? last second. Something happened. Maybe she walked out on you. You walked on her. Your parents walked out on each other. And now you look back and say I'm humbled. I did marry that girl. Right? She thinks the same about YouTube By the way, okay. I didn't marry that guy. The wife I have

right now. What is she is he the beauty and she's made me happy and had it not been for her I don't know where I would be. So every door that closes know that allow open another another door for you in the middle of a city used to know every difficulty there is is G mill humility with extreme reverence. When you come to a law to worship a law you have to be humble. You need to have humility, lower yourself. Don't be arrogant. lower yourself a lot is unlike those that are arrogant. Humble yourself. Drop yourself. Learn to be like a baby in front of Allah learn to be like a beggar. That's something we make the law. How do we raise our hands? Like a beggar does you know how a beggar

raises his hands like this? Raise your hand a mellower beggar is in front of a lot. When you go to hide a lot humbles us a lot says take your clothes off and wear two pieces of cloth. That's it. You like perfume, no perfume for you like grooming yourself. No grooming yourself anymore. You know, an honorable person covers their head and head on what does the law say I

can't do that either. I don't want anyone wearing a crown and wearing them at the same time. It's gonna miss the point. Nothing on your head either come as a dead person come as a dead come as a beggar to Allah subhana wa Tada. And the Prophet says, Allah loves it most. When the person's hair is more disheveled and they're covered in more dust. I love that even more. So you will humble yourself when it comes to a lot. Don't be arrogant when you come to Allah subhanaw taala.

Like my teacher used to say

that people they

they so there's this idea of a VIP Hodge Have you guys heard of that before. So when you do hajus there's like an obviously upgraded package of the HUD where there are certain things that are better. But then there are certain packages that people certain hires that people perform, which I've never seen, I've only heard of them. They're called the VIP Hutch. And the VIP hide is supposed to be like you have like a person that's next to you to look after all your needs at all times. Like you, you know, you're always like, you know, your cushion, you're pampered all the way through the edge. So my teacher would say yes, your hygiene, your obligation will be maybe fulfilled. But the

part that you're missing is

you're missing the hide itself. You're missing the purpose behind hydrogens, to humble yourself, for you to cry for you to be filthy for you to be dirty for you to be weak. Allah likes that. These are things that are desired by loss of freedom without

a feeling of brokenness coupled with modesty, peace of mind without resorting to any strategy for earning livelihood by having confidence in the guarantee of a law. So here, it says one of the things is that you don't resort to any any pathway of earning a livelihood and relying only on Allah, this is a very high level of spirituality. So before you come to point number 14 act on the first 13

because the piece of advice, act on the first 13 things that he mumbles that he said, and if you've mastered all 13 things, come here, give me a high five then go back to number 14 inshallah, okay? Don't assume to 14 and say oh, well, because it said I shouldn't have a job and just rely on luck. First, get an education, get hired, earn borrow money, and then say I don't need this.

You guys follow what I'm saying? I don't I don't want any 21 year old kid to take out a contract and say, Oh man, because it says spirituality means no job. So no education, more time with the bunk? No, that's not what goes on. He is saying no, because it is not advocating that you pick up a pick up some weed and start smoking that and waste your life smoking weed or drinking. That's not what the lobby's saying no, because Are you saying that you build to a level of spirituality where that you have no desire for the dunya and there was there were sacrilegious. You know that it was a fatty Guardiola one his opinion was that a person who has more than 24 hours worth of provision in his

house is one that is excessive, and he will be thrown in the fire of hell.

Yeah, how much do you say

more than 24 hours that was that was that was better the particular one that was his opinion. That wasn't the common opinion amongst other Sahaba. But that was just him because that was his experience. That's how he was a very special person. If you ever read the narrations narrated by Apple that it was a party. Like they're very hardcore. Everything about it will determine the quality of your loved one was very,

it was very hardcore. That's why there's actually scholars have actually compiled the narrations of a Buddha as they find out the law and everything was like on a higher standard. It was really, really serious. If he saw a party or double double the party dude.

He would show up there and he would say all you guys are going to be in trouble on the Day of Judgment. He did this not once many times until finally everyone in Medina filed a complaint with a colleague of mine and I've been

keeping up with everybody and said I need to calm down. And there was a fight he said No, these guys

Are all extravagant and smiling a fan said well, the halifa has given them permission to do that. As long as they're giving there's a God and their money is held up. Well, there was a fight. He said if I can't stop them, I won't live in Medina.

Mohammed often said, that's your choice. And he loves Madeira Madeira. He liked Medina, he went outside within an hour and a small jungle he used to live to him and his wife. And when he was dying, his wife started crying. She said, No one is here to bury my husband and he was from the Senior Companions. And at that exact moment, a caravan after he died after he died, a caravan of Sahaba were returning back from Kufa. And they were coming to Medina and amongst some of the live animals, although their loved one and he saw them in the set. And she said to him that my husband just died. He said, Who is your husband took him when he saw within the party space, he started

crying. He said, This man lived a simple life. And Allah also gave him

a simple death. No one was there by his side when he died. So these are people you know, they give their life for the sake of a lot, a lot of gifts to them as well. But you have to be on that level. Just keep that in mind before you act upon this. Yes.

It's actually the footnote. That's what he talks about. This is really anyone's got a footnote 43. And let's read it there because this is exactly what he said. There's no doubt this is for one who has been able to develop a high level of reliance. Hence, it is explained in reality, that this is because a law most high guarantees your provision. He says there isn't a creature on earth that does not have His provision from a law Most High. And Allah Most High swears over this truth. by the Lord of the heavens of the earth. This is the truth, that it is not right to doubt his guarantee and his ability to fulfill his promise, okay.

And complete, continuing on and complete trust in the grace of Allah, mighty and majestic, knowing with certainty that the best choice will always be the one he makes these etiquettes all of them should constitute your distinguishing emblem in all your nights and days. The art is spiritual courtesies of companionship with a friend who never leaves her side, even as every one of creational play will park company with you at one time or another. So this ends the first part of our discussion. The chapter ends here, we'll end our discussion or pray that Allah subhanaw taala gives us a little faith and ability to act upon it, as we said, allows us allows us to embody these

beautiful matters, with our interaction with his great being and allow somehow that allows us to taste the sweetness of the other of worshipping Allah subhanho wa, tada and the result from these other melasma that allow it to increase in our families and allow them to remain until the day of judgment was that Allahu taala Hamada Allah, he was having me