Channel: Hesham Al-Awadi
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haimo salatu salam ala famously said Mohammed while earlier Sufi commentary I will be assigning today on Monday, brothers and sisters, what have we been doing so far?
in session one, I introduced the characters of our narrative.
In session two, I spoke about this builder or asylum, building the emotional block and creating a love bond based on confidence based on love, based on respect.
And second block that can stay in a very stable position on the top of the emotional block is the block of belief, call it creed, call it aqidah. Incidentally, the Sahaba never knew the word aqidah rp that means a lot of them, but that came later from the LM lm and the martensitic they know it as mn
but call it R T, they call it M and call it the block of belief.
Now, we are going to discuss the block of ADA and that what cements actually the block of art either, so there is a big cement between them too. And there are two blocks but in due course, they become as if they were one block, greater belief leads to greater and great arriba leads to greater belief. And also Selim actually worked with belief and abeja in a in a parallel.
And the emotional block is overarching, actually, with the wiping and with the kissing, and with the carrying and with the cuddling and talking about a lot. So this is an overarching block.
Three points to bear in mind when we are talking about data and children.
Number one, children are not required to do a bother
if they are below the age of puberty.
So what are we doing during that period, we are doing one thing, training, all sorts of training.
The data here
is training them,
ordered them to pray at the age of seven and beat them at the age of 10. So from seven to 10, you are training them.
Imagine someone prays five times a day from the age of seven, or someone who is being reminded to pray
every day five times a day for three years you multiply and you see how much reminding you have been.
So training number one, number two, everything is on your side. It's not a battle between you and your child. Come pray fast. No, everything is on your site. Number one, the psychological worry is not there because he's not required to pray. He's not required to fast. You are training him it's a training. If you fail to today, try tomorrow. It's a training. It's entertainment. It's getting him into the mood. Okay, number one. Number two, what is that other thing that is on your site?
The child himself is on your side because he is born a Muslim.
You remember this hadith kulambu The New Netherland fitrah he's federalize Muslim, he's he tries to pray, he's with you.
But he needs you to teach him. He needs you to train him. You will do that. Number two, number three, he is on your site. Because he is under the age of puberty. There is no sexual desire there are most of the things that will dust off from a man and a bird is our desire
is our arrogance is our old habits die hard. He doesn't have habits. He doesn't have desires. He or she are innocent, waiting for you
with the emotional block
with stories, and with 50 p in a horse to entertain these waiting, she's waiting. She's a Muslim naturally
and no desires
at an early stage and thirdly,
you are training her or you are training him. Now these three points take them as the framework of
action when he is building that block. This is our template, three templates training. No desires that are blocking, no shadow that are blocking the way that are stored
In the flow of communication between you as a parent and him or her, and number three that he is with you, Allah created him as a Muslim, and the day he was born or she was born, you said that in his or her ears
with regards to training, this is important and this is something I said it at the beginning. The earlier you train someone to be good, the easier it will become for him to continue to be good him or her. Look at Abdullah as rude when he says
hafeez I have no icon for Salah What are we doing here? Female herrada this hadith is in a book of very happy for Sunil Cobra Abdullah Massaro says, Take care of your children and train them to pray and get them in the habit of doing the good. Because doing the good is a habit?
Can you imagine that your child can one day become addicted to doing the good?
Can you imagine that your child is a serial Good dog.
So, yes, he could. If you train them from the beginning, if you train them, for example, to kiss the hand of his mother or father, when he wakes up, he will do it, he will do it when he is 20. He will do it in front of his wife without being embarrassed when he is 50. And he then will do it. Even if kissing the air when you pass away. He can't do anything else. Other than that, he doesn't know how to do anything else. Because he has been trained by you to do that very thing. And training was not just in Salah, but in everything. This Hadith that is, again famous narrated in Bukhari, and Muslim Where are no by Ben tomorrow with a woman called a robot. Look what she's exactly saying what we are
saying now, she said, I also saw Selim, when he was the day of Ashura, the 10th of Muharram,
he sent to all the people of ansara, that I'm going too fast, or you all of you try to fast, those who are fasting, let them continue that fast, those who are not fasting, refrain from eating.
And then she said, and
she said, we would refrain from eating even our children who are not required to fast. And we would look at what she says, we would do toys for them out of school, and go to the mosque to pray, and stay there till, till breaking the fast. And when they cry, we will give them these toys to bite rather than food, we will give them these toys to bite until the matter of time comes. And then they will eat. You might say this is why is this. You're not required to do that. But I'm just telling you how these people behaved. How they understood the significance of training, because they saw Selim training children. And they understood that training is significant, even harder when he
narrates this, he comments on it by saying and this hadith shows that it's permissible to train children to fast because those children in that age are not required to fast, but this has been done to them based on this idea solely for the purpose of training.
And you can contemporize this toy made a wall it could be anything, but the point is train them
or refrain from food colossal or whatever, but train them train them.
And by the way, it's not just training them to refrain from food and chocolate and ice cream. It's teaching them discipline and controlling and developing there will this ability to refrain from food will then refrain from other things and you know probably what I mean.
But it begins with the refraining from simple things, but you develop the will and now, I will focus in this entire session on the Salah as a case study of how our sauce lm inculcated the love of a father and how he trained the children to make rabada but using Salah as a case, I could have used fasting etc but these are seasonal zakka they are not required. Yes, there are incidents where children were went to Hajj but Salah as a daily as a daily thing as an as a an immediate concern for all of most of the if not all of the parents. And I realized from reading a lot of the hobbies that Sam was doing three things, one of three things to make the children love the Salah. One is that he
was creating positive associations.
the child and the action. So there is always something nice when doing that action.
You remember the negative association, long term memory positive association, he was creating positive associations. These are my titles, these are my you can divide them, you can say, you're wrong, this is wrong. In fact, I have a new entity, fine. But at least we are all new states. I'm trying to just to simplify things, I could have thrown this harness on you without titles and confuse you, but I'm trying to organize them in a way that are making them more more accessible. Number two, used to reward when the action is being done. Bear in mind, he's training now he's training. So come on, come on, come with me to the message and I'll give you a sweet, okay, he's
training. But before he's doing that, he's creating one positive association. Number two is rewarding. Number three, he is making the child
feel as if he is taking part, a central part in the action itself, that without him the action will become invaluable. Giving the child a form of responsibility to make him love that thing, because he is responsible for that thing. Three things. Now let's talk about these three things. First, a positive association between the action and the child.
Again, I'm going to bore you with this but wiping on the head and this time wiping on the cheek. Java even sama, a young child, he says
sunlight tomorrow Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam a Salah Tula I prayed with him in JAMA in the mosque salata vole, and this is not someone who's related to our sauce Allah he's a young child just be praying with our sauce alum
fascinating this I cannot help but being excited about this. Then he said then also Salaam went to his house and I went with him. Yeah, sometimes I walk in the street and there is a cat running after me I get scared and go and go What do you want? And she wants just maybe someone to wipe or to go and give some food. Now imagine you get out of the mosque and a child is running after you What do you say? What is your father What is your mother? You want to get rid of the child because you're going to meet your wife or saw Selim says Java even someone is saying I walked with a saucer and look at that. Now this is the camera now carried by Java. Imagine Java is carrying the camera and
look at the scene now also Salim is walking
and children are passing on his way. So any child that passes on his way. What does he do? He goes and wipes on their cheek.
he white Java even someone I know. Looks at the camera. The camera is showing the hand of alpha Selim coming on the screen of the camera on the cheek of that who's holding the camera and wiping on his cheek.
He says Javelin Samira. I have never ever seen Malik you remember said I have never smelled a fragrance that was more beautiful than the fragrance that came out of the hand of Prophet Mohammed Salah. Now, what is the positive association here?
I went to the salon. I got touched by the prophet SAW Selim. And I on the top of that smelled something that was nice. Now whenever he goes to the mosque, does he get or smell a stinking carpet? No. He will just smell fragrance
from the hand of Prophet Mohammed Salim and he will go with him again and again and again. Waiting for that fragrance. A positive association. You want something more more direct. Maybe this is a overdoing the thing of I don't believe it's overdoing it. But okay, fine. You want more direct example.
Obama, Obama and this hadith is narrated in Muslim, Abu Mahavira is a companion. But at that time, he was a young missionary. And this had this incident happened when RSO Salaam conquered Mecca. And you've seen it in the message perhaps in the film of the message, where Babylon went on the top of the caliber, and said made a van.
And imagine young children mushriks seeing this black companion on the top of the on the top of the cabinet, making a dance so old, like all children began to make fun. There were 10 children mushriks making fun repeating
one of them who's making fun, had a beautiful voice so that he can
do concerts, CDs, whatever, he had a beautiful voice.
He wasn't doing them properly, and he was making making fun.
So someone said, Bring them all that these 10.
And they brought the 10, including
And they all of a sudden said, all of you, I want you to make a damn now. And out of fear. Everyone made that. And then when that boy made that, and Obama did, I said, No, that's him. That's that's the voice that I heard. And then he said, Come united go, look, look online. He's looking for the best actor. He's looking for the best singer. He's looking for the best wife when he's recruiting. And he wants no less than an eighth grade.
He wants no less than an eighth grade. I'm sure that among these nine, there were people with nice voices, but he wants the best voice
of Omaha Luna says nothing was more hated to me than this man who conquered Mecca. But then also saw Salim and again, the body language here. And you will see, by the way, the hand is playing a tremendous role. And then he puts his hand on my forehead. And I don't know what I personally don't know what happens. Obama says, After putting his hand on my forehead, he became the most beloved person to me.
Is it the silk? Is it the softness, is it the tenderness? Is it the fragrance? Or is it merely Prophethood
and then also selling said now and he became a Muslim and said that shadow lalala was shadow Allah. He said, Now I'm going to teach you to do that. And in Muslim it tells you that actually.
And he said, cool. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. And then say, also Salah, say, I shadow Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah two times Mara Tang, and then why shadow under Muhammad Rasul Allah two times. And then he says, Hi, Allah Salah, and then he says that, and then he says, and when you make a time for leisure time, so he employed him now to make a dent. He's teaching him to do that on a daily basis, including fetchit. And when you do add on in federal say, a Salah to hire Amina now. And then when you do if karma Subhana Allah Subhana Allah five minutes ago, he was making fun. Now he's going to make a salad, okay, ramen, and now he's going to wake up without an
alarm without shouting at his mother, leave me alone. Let me sleep. He's going to wake up. He's going to wake up the entire city in Mecca and say hi Allah, Salah, kamati Salah, and then he teaches him to do the karma.
What is fascinating in this hobby is that
abama Dora says, I never cut my hair. Never I don't know, I cannot maybe during his time, maybe he had a very long hair, he never cut his hair that was touching his forehead, because he said, because it was touched by
now, look at this learning of event, which is a form of data that is associated with a touch.
So, the point the point brother is Sham your borders to death. The point is, when you teach your children I bother to train them, try to give them a positive association with a kiss with a touch with whatever so that they associate doing that thing which they do not necessarily understand the significance of with a fragrance with a nice word with Baraka low feek with just like a lucky with I am happy now with a beautiful pray prayer mat that is specially for him or her. That mosque is everywhere on this prayer mat. That when you smell this prayer mark you remember it's time for Salah just create any positive associations. So another example is that also asylum and having Massoud
narrates this hadith where our sauce lm used to always why the you know the Imam in the sauce is shoulder to shoulder etc. So Salah would go through the lines to make sure that the shoulders are touching the shoulders and he himself will touch the shoulders to make sure that the shoulder is touching the shoulder and you will do this throughout. Now imagine every time the children they come to Salah they are going to be touched by a resource and especially those who are standing at the extreme right or the extreme left with fragrance with touching from also Salim the messenger. Won't you then like coming to the mosque five times a day including fudger at least to hear the voice of
your friend about Mahara?
Look at this quotation that I found in Q news in October 2000.
The young boy is writing this letter to the editor he's saying yes.
You have set up halal meat.
He's talking to the Imams and the elders in the community. Yes, you
You have set up halal meat? Yes, you have built mosques, large, huge mosque and boost that we have large mosques. Yes, yes, you did do that. And you have succeeded in that. Yes, you have taught us what to do. But you have also built mosques that were alien. And really this, this hurt me this this word
that were alien, hostile and irrelevant to our needs and requirements, mosques that are full of squabbles and fights, not love and compassion, not love and compassion q News 2000. Not at Omaha Dora, who actually received enough compassion,
mosques full of notices, don't do this and don't do that mosques, whose doors are closed to the destitute, the poor and the orphan. This is, this really translates. Now would you imagine that this letter has been written by a young companion, far from it, when we go to the mosque, or saw Salah brothers and sisters, have you ever thought about this man that urinated in the mosque? Imagine if so Salem allowed him to be beaten in the mosque, do you think that he would return to that mosque again? In fact, there are so small and medium urinate, isn't this a positive association? Not that I can come to the most can do what I want know that I have been treated respectfully when I came to
that mosque. And even when I did a mistake, I was tolerated. And I was taught by mistake.
Our children today do not urinate in the mosques. But they receive harsher treatment from the elders. And that's what makes them scared, hate the mosque, join again and go to nightclubs because they have all the negative associations with that mosque. What our saw Selim was aware of not doing is not scaring people away from mosques. And that's why our SOS lm says in the Hagia Sophia, you and us all people and he's speaking to the Imams among your there are people who repel, and scare away the people. When you lead the prayer, please read short sewers. Because behind you and look at this fascinating thing. Behind you are the elders. And someone who needs to fulfill something after the
salein needs to go to the toilet, he needs to take his wife to the hospital. And behind you are young, severe children who are looking left and right who wants to go and play who are looking at their watches who are giggling next to the child next to him in the Salah. Don't read Al Baqarah for their sacred cola robinus and let them leave and go and play so that he will come again, knowing that soon after he will go and play.
Number two, rewarding them. And I'm just going to quote this single Hadith that is in the book of Buhari that Abdullayev in a bus. A child who's holding the camera again,
saying that so seldom went to the toilet to do Voodoo. And I realized that as a child, and I brought him some water and waited for him outside. And when he went outside or saw Selim he looked and saw the water he said who brought this water and they said to him it is Abdullah having Ibis, then boy who was brown probably 1011 I don't know we said that also Salaam died. I blunderbuss was 13 I don't know, this incident took place. When
I do know, however, that when I saw Selim was sitting and I was behind him and he was teaching him arcada you know how old was even a bus? nine years old. So imagine a society and teachers are key that to nine years old? How would you teach him? Allah is here when the oma gathers cetera, et cetera. And if anything, it shows that a nine year old boy can understand and can comprehend boy or girl.
So okay, when also Salaam realized and knew that this water was brought by Abdullah nobis. He immediately made this Doha
Allah, teach him the deen and teach him interpretation. Do you know this hadith that I told you at the beginning when I spoke about Abdullah nobis and how he became the knowledgeable person, although he stayed only two and a half years without a salary or 30 months? It's because of that initiative. Imagine just imagine he didn't bring any water.
Is it possible that the door would not have been said and is it possible that then under London, our bus would not have become famous. It's because of that positive initiative that he undertook. He deserved a positive comment that lived with him and made his
Legacy as a scholar as a professor and as a fucky. So, what greater rewards what greater reward than if that if you say to your child, if you do this, I will give you that and seriously not lying, I will do that or I will give you that or May Allah subhanaw taala make you knowledgeable in the deen or rich or marry a nice wife anything that the child feels proud out of doing what he did. And in fact in another narration, above said, I saw Selim actually wife again, you see Liping is repeating itself throughout this course, he wiped on my head and said, whether I live in Hickman and he made that I become a wise person.
The final thing or the final pillar in the building of the ibadah block is to make the child feel that he is responsible, that he is being welcomed, and that he is being accommodated. And again Hadees that we come across a lot that is narrated in the book of Buhari again after live in a bus. He said I spent the night one day in the house of my maternal aunt, who was my Mona, who was the wife of aerosol selling so he spent the night in the house of aerosol salah and he went to sleep and then also Selim woke up in the night and he asked me Mona did he sleep Did the doctor lost sleep? She said yes, he went to bed and then he made will do and stand to make the hedges. Abdullah does
look at this person who just a few days ago also Salim said Oh Allah give him wisdom and we'll and photography Dean, he straightaway stood up, went and made will do just to pray next to that he loves. He's not asked to do the hedges. But out of love, he went and do it. What did the resource Allen do? He actually took him close by and accommodated him. He didn't say oh, this is between me and Allah. Oh, this is react go home or do not why are you we go to sleep. You have school tomorrow? No, he brought him and he accommodated him. And Abdullah nobis. Thank you to tell him that he allowed him he narrates the entire Hadith and how our saw Selim prayed and what are the sutras that
he read. And there is another story that is even more fascinating of how Selim actually accommodated children. The story of ebin selama I'm Robin Salah is someone that
lived away at the outskirts of Medina, he never interacted with a solar cell and he said I was living with my tribe. And people that were in Medina
that used to travel. We used to ask them when they were Muslims. We used to ask them what did you sell and teach you today? And they used to tell them also sell him today? He read surah this and surah This was revealed today?
Imran Selma says and when I hear the sooner I memorize it, so he began memorizing the surah not from the mouth of Prophet pass a silent but when he says I memorized lots of Quran based on what I hear of those pacifiers travelers. And then I learned how to pray
from those pacifiers. Again, isn't this fascinating that you learn the Quran and then you learn how to pray. It shows how those people who are connected to the book of Allah before even they began to pray.
Okay, what is special about this Hadith, the tribe of that boy, one day went to also Solomon Medina, and they said the Rasul Allah now we know how to pray. We want you to instruct us to pray in JAMA, he said, okay, pray in JAMA, who is going to lead us era Salalah.
He said, The one who knows the Quran most.
And the leader of the tribe is about 6070 doesn't know the Quran mostly. They went to arm reading Solomon, how many do you know Oh, I know many, many, many verses. And imagined brothers and sisters for the first time in a tribal society. Like we had a girl being carried by the hand of the Prophet Muhammad's asylum in a patriarchal society where women and girls were looked at as a source of embarrassment and buried in a tribal society where seniority and age is a source of legitimacy. For the first time we see a leader, a new leader, not based on his tribal legacy, but on his ability and the number of verses of Quran that he memorizes I'm even Solomon was only seven when he was
appointed as the Imam for his entire tribe. And a funny story that you might laugh at his trousers was extremely short, that when he he bends, some of his private parts at the back at appeal. One of the women said please please cover cover the backside of your Eman. So he says they brought me along guard clauses while law he looked at this positive association rather
insistence said well, ah he this trials is very valuable to me. Why? Because this is your uniform as an Imam who made up Ma'am, my Koran through our sauce Allah.
We had problems. Again my daughter, encouraging our daughter to pray with us. And one day my wife tailored
for her specially she said this job, I tailored it for you. And we brought her ideal and she watched the sewing machine moving and she was what is this she said, this is your job that you will wear whenever we join the Salah. She was extremely happy, like salema extremely happy with his trousers. And whenever we would pray, she would wear the hijab now she throws the hijab away and she doesn't play anyway. But you create moments of excitement. Maybe because she was not appointed as an Imam, I don't know. But you create moments of excitement and let it last for a week or two because again, you are training. Again you are creating positive associations, you are creating enjoyable memories.
You are doing your utmost to make them love a bother and inshallah when they grow up. They will love it because by then it's a habit.
Have you heard our stuff at all it will come through in order for