Children Around The Prophet 2 Develop The Emotion

share this pageShare Page
Hesham Al-Awadi

Channel: Hesham Al-Awadi

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:05

Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim salatu salam ala COVID mursaleen Sina, Mohammed Al yusaku,

00:00:06--> 00:00:23

Naomi Deen brothers and sisters. In session one, we identified the characters, if I may use the expression our players in the narrative so that now whenever I'm speaking about our salami and you share a common perception,

00:00:24--> 00:01:09

even if, at a minimum level, when I'm talking about NSU, we have an idea about Anna's insha Allah in the final session, we will complete the jigsaw by introducing ns when he was an adult, I'd love no matter when he became married and have children so that you appreciate them now they are adults, and realize that those adults that you recognize and venerate, they were not great adults, they did not just become great when they became adult. Their greatness was a process being made and developed since they were young. And in that there is a message to you as parents that don't think that I'm not trying now to philosophize things. But I do believe that transformation,

00:01:10--> 00:01:54

the earlier it happens, the more genuine and stable it is. I know that a lot of us become practicing when we join stem excited at university and we become very good Mashallah and everything. But this is not like someone who was a half as at the age of five, or six or seven, and knows how to lower the gaze at the age of eight, he will not have problems lowering the gaze in the summer, because he has always been doing this for the last 2030 years. Unlike someone who just converted into Islam a couple of days ago, and then bomb train station, it makes a lot of difference in understanding and knowledge, emotions. And remember this example, that also Sallam was building blocks, blocks of the

00:01:54--> 00:02:15

character. So the blocks cannot be just like this, when you are at the age of 20. The blocks are built gradually, slowly, smoothly, naturally. This is exactly what I was doing. Now, in this session, what are we going to do? We are going to complement and continue our narrative. How are we going to do that? Well,

00:02:16--> 00:02:19

I have actually put the first block

00:02:20--> 00:02:23

that are associated and built with the children.

00:02:24--> 00:02:25

One word,

00:02:26--> 00:02:27

confidence.

00:02:29--> 00:02:39

He wanted to create a love relationship, and a confident or a confidence relationship between them and the profit between him. And those children.

00:02:41--> 00:03:16

They don't want instructions, they don't want to orders. Children might not appreciate a circle in Tafseer. Or in fact, because they are children, they want to play, they want to laugh, they want to enjoy themselves. And they want to fall in love with that, that anticipates them to listen to him, be it a father, a mother or a seller. So before also, Selim speaks to them about Hellfire and gender and gamma and dunya. And how important it is to pray and to have a job and to read the Quran.

00:03:18--> 00:03:24

He was spending a lot of effort and investing and a lot of time to make them love him.

00:03:25--> 00:03:35

And I will prove it by showing to you that a lot of the nonverbal communication that was so seldom with children was exactly in serving that purpose.

00:03:36--> 00:03:41

And once you do that, then the medicine taking of the medicine becomes easy.

00:03:43--> 00:03:50

I wipe your head or I make mess. Or I just gently put my hand on your and ask you to pray.

00:03:52--> 00:03:54

I say to you, Abdullah best, I love you

00:03:56--> 00:04:12

try to make the headset, you understand the two are coming together. But if one is coming before the other, it's the love. It's the emotion. It's building a confidence relationship between Why am I saying this again, to hit it hard. parents must build

00:04:15--> 00:04:24

a loving relationship not loving by all I love, you know, loving relationship that is based on confidence that you will become friends to your children.

00:04:25--> 00:04:32

And that's why I said that it's good for the parents to be young, so that they become friends with their children.

00:04:33--> 00:04:53

If I if you are married, married, if you got married, say at the age of 30. When they are 20 or 50 fine. If you're like us, I'll sell them and you're going to race with them and play with them fine. But if you're going to have a big belly and you're not going to race with them because you're 50 and ill and have diabetes or heart attack and going to hospital, it's gone. So

00:04:54--> 00:04:59

when our mother became a Muslim who became a Muslim with him, his son, they weren't friends and that's

00:05:00--> 00:05:05

Why many Hadees Amaro stoking love nama, and Abdullah was still kicked on?

00:05:06--> 00:05:07

Because they went

00:05:09--> 00:05:15

Jafari been one of the relatives of our saw Selim, his son, Abdullah bin Jaffa.

00:05:17--> 00:05:42

There wasn't a generational gap between him and his son, or between the Son and the father, only 11 years. So imagine, his father is 40. And the son is 30, playing football, cricket, whatever you name it, son and father, but there, there isn't a generational gap between them. And by the way, and this is, again, not philosophizing that, I don't believe in something called generational gap.

00:05:44--> 00:05:53

that gap is created by you being out of touch of I could be out of touch of my generation. And I could

00:05:54--> 00:05:56

tap into the youth culture today and try to

00:05:57--> 00:06:15

I know my face my complexion will not make me accessible to the young, but at least I can be I can familiarize myself with the with the culture of the with the music, they listen to the sort of talks and take how they text message each other and use all these sorts of things.

00:06:17--> 00:06:29

A father for example, can know how to use the computer if he is at the age of 50 or 60? Can you can know how to use the internet and open an account in hotmail and sometimes email his son this is

00:06:30--> 00:07:18

this is possible. So generational gap are only created when you choose to create a generational gap. So let's see how did our sauce lm build the emotional block in the dimension and in the character of the children? First of all, immediately I sent you the word love I want to use another word mercy, Rama and I know that this is something that Muslims Xu Imam said a lot also Salaam ramen in Ireland. But really, I want you to visualize this Rama based on the first session based on identifying our character in the first narrative. Think about the touch, think about the look, think about the smile. Think about all that happening in a context of Rama, genuine Rama not pretentious, not

00:07:18--> 00:07:28

seasonal, not when you are in a good mood, not when you are employed. And when you are unemployed. You beat up your No, it is a conviction. And it's a principle.

00:07:30--> 00:07:33

No one smiles all the time, if he is moody.

00:07:34--> 00:08:03

Also, Selim smiled all the time, even if inside he was burning out of anger or out of worrying about battles are about Muslims being killed, his own son Ibrahim was was dead, etc, etc. He weaves he cries, but that is not a dominant attitude when interacting with certainly when interacting with children. And this is exactly what NSE Malik exactly wanted to say. If you're sitting here.

00:08:05--> 00:08:12

He would say to you like what he says in this hadith can sallallahu wasallam our humaneness was Serbian well,

00:08:13--> 00:08:36

that also Salam was the most merciful among all people. And Allison Malik knows exactly what he's talking about, out of personal experience and out of what he saw. He saw people that are merciful, and he saw Selim, that is merciful and no way Are they compatible to each other? That's why he's saying no one is like so solid in his mercy.

00:08:38--> 00:08:54

Merci naka de la and you know that the verse Allah Azza naka de la mutton, Lil al Ameen. What, what this of a personal experience that Malik is talking about? Well, a lot, a lot, a lot. But just to give you a sense and a flavor. And I know Malik has a brother, who's called our mind.

00:08:56--> 00:09:16

And our mind had a small pet, a small bird that was called unknown life. And I want you again to contemporize these examples, imagine your child had a small Teddy Bear, that he or she would not go to bed without the teddy bear. Or Maisie or I don't know which character is Mickey Mouse or Barbie, unfortunately.

00:09:18--> 00:09:36

But imagine a pet. And suddenly that pet if it was a toy was broken, or if it was alive, but pet, it became sick or more seriously died. What sort of impact will that have on the child? Now, asylum can go and say in

00:09:38--> 00:10:00

your own avacado Allah predestined that he dies. Well, this might be indeed true, but not for a child. A child needs comforting. A child needs someone to cheer him. A child needs someone to talk exactly about the theme and issue that he is thinking about any

00:10:00--> 00:10:04

Anything, or he is not thinking about anything except that theme, that pet.

00:10:05--> 00:10:30

And that's why they say that when someone dies, it is good, not bad. It is good to talk about the disease. If so, if you go and give your condolences and you say he was good, Mashallah Your father was good, or your neighbor was good or your relative was good. I remember one day he came to me this this this don't think, oh, I don't want to remind him No, he wants to be reminded because he cannot think about anything other than that.

00:10:32--> 00:10:49

So a child is extremely and emotionally linked with that pit, so on asylum, and this is so famous and you know it so much famous that it is narrated in many narrations and each narration. By the way, this is another camera that is looking at the Sierra, each narration gives a dimension.

00:10:50--> 00:11:20

One narration says that also Salim entered and said, Why is Obama you're upset. And imagine imagine I don't want to dramatize things. But look, this is a prophet coming to visit a child. And he is showing concern. And he is thinking about battles better. And he's thinking about wife's peace, thinking about Ibrahim that have done but yet, he's hard to so big that he can afford to think about this question. Why is he upset?

00:11:22--> 00:11:23

Why is he crying?

00:11:24--> 00:11:29

This is one narration and another narration, he says or I might come, let's play together.

00:11:30--> 00:11:49

And in another narration, there is another dimension but just let's take the essence of the narrative ananas con Kannada pseudo la sauce, lm nursey hula can look at the introduction. He's giving an introduction to the narrative. And it's saying also Salam was the most minor

00:11:50--> 00:11:56

that on the top of models, he wants to basically to say what Immacolata hola NaVi. That's what he wants to say.

00:11:57--> 00:12:14

What can I do? And I had a brother, this is where the personal experience comes. You see, you can read the tuxedo even Kafeel about what does it mean to live in telamon Santa Clara, but you don't have first hand experience of an asylum that you encountered.

00:12:15--> 00:12:32

But Ennis has, he says, What can I do? And I had a brother, you can know about Romania, whoa, 14, he just finished breastfeeding. Two and a half years, four years? Probably. I don't know, wedding nappies, I don't know.

00:12:34--> 00:12:37

And he said, can either Jana

00:12:38--> 00:12:41

can either generosa when he comes to visits?

00:12:42--> 00:12:45

He says yeah, about my my file. And

00:12:47--> 00:13:03

I tend to think that what is meant in the Hadeeth kana is agenda that he comes regularly. And he regularly asks the question about Oh, my what happened to a new hire? So someone knows exactly Well, what happens to the new hire is that the small bird is dead.

00:13:05--> 00:13:53

What I want to say to you in a nutshell, that Arthur sanlam is talking about a theme that is not necessarily concerns him, because you concern yourself with answering questions that you don't know the answer to. But this is not the issue. The issue is that the theme is related to the one that is feeling the sorrow. So you're asking questions, not for you to know the answer. But for him to know that you are concerned. How are you now? Are you feeling well? You know that he's living in hell. But it's important to ask, and important to anticipate the answer, even if no answer, but he or she will recognize that you've asked, and that you've showed concern, not only once, but many times

00:13:53--> 00:13:55

whenever you come and visit.

00:13:57--> 00:14:27

I had a younger brother. To him, he used to say, tell them about Romania, where is gone, you're in Ohio, and Ohio, is the name of a very small birth. Timothy, Timothy says, in comment of this Hadith, that the Prophet called the child by his Scania, about a man he wasn't called our mayor. But again, to give him this sort of adulthood, feeling that you are about omega Muhammad, he's not married, and he's not he doesn't have a song called omega. But again, by way of making him happy and cheering him.

00:14:28--> 00:15:00

He called the child by the cornea, the necessity for which arose from the fact that the boy he had heard a bird which had died. And so the boy was sitting in a sort of full condition. Hence, just to cheer the boy up. The Prophet asked him as to what has happened to his pet, and know how, and then even hotjar and others commented on the Hadith saying that this study shows many, many benefits, one of the benefits that it's permissible to ask a question where you know the answer to there are other things

00:15:00--> 00:15:02

Other benefits, for example,

00:15:03--> 00:15:24

one of the benefits is to lower your level of understanding and to talk in a way that is understandable to the listener. So Salim doesn't he's not concerned about the way he saw his son die, he saw this woman died in the battle, he saw his cousin die, he saw his uncle die. Abu Talib died when he was a mushrik. And he wanted him to.

00:15:25--> 00:15:26

But what is more important

00:15:28--> 00:15:42

is the emotion is that block that he's trying to build. He's trying to show the child and this is something else that is fascinating. He's trying to show the child that nothing's wrong with being upset, or feeling sorrow for a pet.

00:15:43--> 00:16:17

Don't be embarrassed to cry when the pet is dead. No, this is something that is legitimate. And this is something that is so important, so much so that I'm going now to say a hadith that is going to be put forever till the Day of Judgment in the books of Bukhari and Muslim or made about your very pet, what more of glory and honor Do you want, we would not have known the name of that pet that that has been buried and eaten by the worms. But it was made famous because it happened in a context of a child rearing that.

00:16:21--> 00:16:39

Brothers and sisters building the emotional block is very crucial in their methodology and in Division of resources and so much so. So SOS Helen. And imagine, imagine if someone said to you, and you are a judge, or a ruler, I committed Zina

00:16:41--> 00:16:55

when a woman that is married, commits adultery and comes to you and says, I committed adultery and she says it four times certifying that you committed adultery. What will you do? You will say, oh, according to the Quran and Sunnah, you have to be punished.

00:16:56--> 00:16:58

But also Salim didn't do that. Why?

00:17:00--> 00:17:04

Why? Because of the child, the child.

00:17:06--> 00:17:12

Brothers and sisters, please imagine, imagine that child that will never see his mother again.

00:17:13--> 00:17:19

That child that when he reaches the age of three, or four or five, his mother will be there.

00:17:20--> 00:17:28

Yet, these couple of years are important and extremely significant, that he lives with his mother.

00:17:29--> 00:17:40

That he is being breast feed by his mother, cuddled by his mother embraced and kissed and loved by his mother that is going to die soon.

00:17:41--> 00:18:13

Could you imagine that? This mother could have run away when she was released. That mother was not kept under house arrest. was not shackled, was not detained. She was not considered a security threat. She attended the Friday prayer. She went to the mosque. She went to buy milk or food for her baby in the market. And everyone knew that she committed adultery. But she was protected, maintained her hona honor was protected and maintained because

00:18:14--> 00:18:30

of her child. What more of Rama Do you want other than that, and compare that with someone that is born to kill and bone to explode. This is someone who committed adultery This is not someone who was worshipping Allah 24 hours no committing adultery while married.

00:18:31--> 00:19:14

And that's why when Carla didn't believe and now you can understand why Kali hate her, hit her head and bladed her head out of anger and out of disrespect. This is harlots. This is our attitude con it represents our attitude. Also Salim represents the attitude of the Rahim of the local RV team of Ramadan. Al Ameen says yeah, Khalid, Wallah, he she repentant. So much so that if her repentance was made like a blanket or spread over the heads of all the companions, we are talking about over 2000 companions, it will cover them, including you.

00:19:18--> 00:19:30

We always focus on the mother in that incident. But what can we think about the child? Can we brothers and sisters and this is the final comment I'm going to make on this incident? Can we think about this child when he grows up?

00:19:31--> 00:19:59

How much he will love or sell him because he spared him his mother for three or four years for her to rare him? Won't he remember his mother as someone that repented before she died? Imagine this child growing up with the rest of the children and the children knowing his story. Do you think that they will look disrespectfully at him or labor respect him and love him and compensate the loss of his

00:20:00--> 00:20:21

Mother and the mothers of these children will love him more and will care for him more, because his mother used to be a pious lady, and she repented before she was dead. Have you ever thought about this? Have you ever thought of extrapolating incidents that are not necessarily and categorically mentioned in the Hadith, but our natural to anticipate?

00:20:22--> 00:20:33

I urge you to think about Islam like this. And I urge you to think about it like this. And I urge you to think about your heritage like this, because will lie. If you think about it like this, you will become more

00:20:35--> 00:20:47

and more soft and more tender, if not with your child, because you are not married, at least with your father, and with your mother, and with your sister, and with your brother, and with the entire humanity.

00:20:48--> 00:20:59

This is Rama of Alsace Ella. But that was not only action, by way of claim or by way that was even through body language.

00:21:01--> 00:21:03

Through wiping

00:21:05--> 00:21:09

through I don't want to say massaging because this is not not not the right

00:21:10--> 00:21:25

word, although a couple of days ago, and I thank Allah subhanaw taala. Very much for that. And I thought that this course is blessed because I found this quotation I was in the GP a couple of days ago. And I looked at the magazine.

00:21:27--> 00:21:57

And it was I think Health magazine, and it talks about massaging babies, and how significant it is to massage babies. And the article was long and talking about massaging and how to cuddle them and how to carry them in. And at the end it says what the article, I wrote the quotation, it says research studies made in the animal kingdom. And cross cultural studies show that short show that infants that are held,

00:21:59--> 00:22:02

that are carried, that are massaged,

00:22:03--> 00:22:04

are healthier.

00:22:05--> 00:22:08

And please write the following under two red lines.

00:22:09--> 00:22:13

And their societies are less aggressive

00:22:14--> 00:22:15

and violent.

00:22:18--> 00:22:33

Think about the bombing. And think about societies that are less aggressive and violence. And think about infants that are being kicked and beaten up and deserted. And think about infants that are being cuddled and massaged and kissed

00:22:35--> 00:22:47

and think after all that or before that about the prophet SAW cell and doing all that, that which stabilizes society and builds the emotional block in the character of the child.

00:22:48--> 00:22:48

Think about

00:22:50--> 00:23:00

so wiping on the head another saw Selim did it. Abdullah bin Jaffa The one whose his father is only 11 years older than him. Abdullah and Jaffa on the line says

00:23:01--> 00:23:07

when he was young at that time, Messiah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam ba de la si

00:23:08--> 00:23:17

I think three times the child and he's an adult now is proud and boosting that also solemn white on his head.

00:23:19--> 00:23:28

And he even remembers the numbers of wiping like a wife might remember very well. How many times the husband

00:23:29--> 00:23:44

have beaten her has kicked her. A child also remembers how many times he has been kicked or beaten or kissed cuddled or wiped Abdullah and Jaffa remembers very well.

00:23:46--> 00:23:51

But there was also love and this is what is interesting Also, while wiping he was making

00:23:53--> 00:24:02

that Absalom Jafar memorized of La Jaffa said after he wiped Palomar masakan Allahumma Kliff Jafar on futility,

00:24:04--> 00:24:06

because Jafar his father died as a martyr.

00:24:07--> 00:24:19

Allah subhanaw taala is making dua for his offspring, including Abdullah in Java. What is fascinating is that a beloved Java after all these years he remembers, that are so solid now who's dead?

00:24:21--> 00:24:40

wiped on his head, and why three times. And after wiping he said, this door, you see how much a child can remember. Never say a child is too young to remember. Any verbal abuse any fight between you as parents, he or she will register.

00:24:41--> 00:24:59

I remember I'm sure that you do. When I was five or six, I remember a lot of things not vividly, but I do remember. And you know, and you might know as people who might have studied psychology that the memory there is long term memory and short term memory long term memory.

00:25:00--> 00:25:11

Are these one of the things where the memory becomes a long term memory is that when the incidence is unique, or is associated with joy, or pain?

00:25:12--> 00:25:51

That's why they say, to turn the Quran into long term memory, you repeat it, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, one of the things to transfer the memory from short term to long term repetition. But another way is to associate it with someone, or something that is painful or enjoyable. I remember this music. I love this music, not because of the music, but because the music was played when I was 20. Oh, I wish I was 20. Or if you are now married to your beloved one. Oh, do you remember this music that we used to download from the internet? We were when we were in love. Let's play it again.

00:25:52--> 00:26:15

Isn't that right? So what is he trying to do? He's trying to create what I call positive association with education. So he's educating you and giving you and Hadith and Quran. But why he's kissing you. And while wiping on your head, and while smiling to you. So this is wiping What about kissing?

00:26:16--> 00:26:26

I also sell them again and there are many Hadees and have you ever heard of the olana narrated by Abu hurayrah Ronnie says cabela navio sallallahu wasallam and Hasson

00:26:27--> 00:26:42

also sell them kissed and hasn't even alley and you know now on Hassan, you know now that he died at the age of 46. And he looked like a saw Selim, if you want to be precise, the top the top of him was like the top of them.

00:26:44--> 00:26:56

And while he kissed him and this is the point I'm trying now to make the significance of it that is, while you kiss them, one of the companions said Dr. Rasul Allah 10. Boys, he said, yeah, that's all I have 10 boys that I have never kissed.

00:26:57--> 00:27:02

And also selling says, Man, law, your Hamlet, whoever does not have mercy

00:27:03--> 00:27:08

on anyone on people, no one would have mercy on him. Now we tend to

00:27:10--> 00:27:20

quickly read this Hadith, which is famous, I'm sure to some of you. But I want to give it again, my crazy twists, imagined brothers and sisters.

00:27:22--> 00:27:25

Those children that are 10 they grow up,

00:27:26--> 00:27:39

never being kissed by their father. Do you think that they will become lovers to their wives? Do you think that they will want a kiss their father that never taught them to kiss?

00:27:42--> 00:28:01

So sanlam is building emotional blocks so that these emotional blocks when the you are an adult will beam to the rest of society, including your mother, father, wife and children when you get married? So how can you offer something

00:28:02--> 00:28:03

that you don't have?

00:28:06--> 00:28:18

This is number one. Number two, what is a resource I'm doing in a society. You see, the comment of that companion shows what shows that he is shocked to see someone kissing in public.

00:28:20--> 00:28:34

Now you see people snugging which is which is normal. At the time of the prophets are seldom in Mecca and Medina kissing, not a man kissing a wife or a man kissing a woman know, a father kissing a son.

00:28:35--> 00:28:51

Because it wasn't just the desert that they were suffering from. It was the desert in their feelings. They had the guts to bury their daughters alive. Why then can they live with sons that they have never kissed?

00:28:52--> 00:29:05

If someone can kill his own daughter, why then isn't it acceptable for him? Not to kiss his son and spare him and make him continue to live because he's a male.

00:29:07--> 00:29:48

What are Salim is doing is that he is kissing in public because the son of rough pass Salim are his words, his sayings and actions he wants to make kissing, as soon as in a society that never experienced kissing, do you understand? This is the significance of it. You see, this is to me the significance of this hadith. It's not about Oh, he's cuddling the baby and he's kissing web. No. Look at who's watching and how he is commenting and how Selim is commenting. And by the way, I want to just make a small comment on the comment of eresource lm in response to the comment of an o'clock. He says men lie or ham lie or ham, we tend to think that Oh, if you don't have mercy alone,

00:29:48--> 00:30:00

no, you're very children will not have mercy on you. If you don't have mercy on them. This could be another dimension to the meaning of this. Hadeeth Okay, let's

00:30:00--> 00:30:11

be shocking with this kissing business to tell you that. Indeed, the companions absorbed this value, the value of being affectionate, compassionate,

00:30:12--> 00:30:14

and expressing your emotions.

00:30:16--> 00:31:06

But not just towards your children but towards society at large. What do you mean? I don't know, I don't know. hapa when he became a muted, meaning he kissed one of his children. And this might shock some of you that have a wrong perception of onkaparinga hot kissing on a hot tub usually says jasola like, just let me chop his head off. No, I will pop up, kissed and laughed, and normally smile. But Bob was serious. If you do something wrong here we get angry. But if you don't do anything wrong, he will put you at the top of his head. So I will have Bob kissed his son. And one of the workers one of his, the the person that was employed by him a governor or someone who's responsible for a

00:31:06--> 00:31:10

bureaucratic duty. He said to him exactly what he said.

00:31:11--> 00:31:17

He said, Yeah, I mean, I mean, look, now look at look at the comment, the same comment.

00:31:18--> 00:31:20

He says, Yeah, I mean,

00:31:21--> 00:31:25

took a bit of time. Do you kiss him and you are the

00:31:27--> 00:31:34

leader of the faithful. He thinks that to be a leader, you have to be serious. You have to shout all the time. How come you are kissing him?

00:31:36--> 00:31:38

And then our hottap said, What is my sin?

00:31:40--> 00:31:45

If Allah subhanaw taala have taken out of you. And then do you know what he did? He sacked him.

00:31:47--> 00:31:52

But before sacking him, he said to him, by way of justifying the sacking, he said,

00:31:53--> 00:32:23

and culatta hameau holodeck Okay, Fatah. hominess? You don't have mercy to your children? How then? Are you going to have mercy to the people that you govern? Are you going to kiss the people that you govern? No, of course not. But kissing is a simple symbolic manifestation of your heart. And if you think it's too much to kiss your son, the knowing Are you going to show a lesser manifestation of mercy to the strangers he sacked him?

00:32:24--> 00:32:54

I saw someone did something that is fascinating. It might be classic to read and think about it's famous. We read it all the time. But we think about the fifth COVID the COVID meaning that it's permissible to carry my baby while I'm praying all the different whether the urine of the baby is natural or not. Well, it depends on the age. If he is breastfeeding, it's that if he stops breastfeeding, it's this. I want to give a human reading to the Hadeeth

00:32:56--> 00:33:13

what is that human reading? Well, the Hadith itself says that about cortada narrates that also seldom Can you suddenly bidness I will let's see the Hadith properly, and Abu Qatada of the Allahu anhu he said, cannot assume Allah sallallahu Sallam you suddenly bidness

00:33:15--> 00:33:41

will harm Ilan Omar Mata been khazana vinta rasulillah salam, Selim fader sagia de la cama hemella. The forecast said yes, it's permissible to carry but think about something brothers and sisters. You know, the Hadith will also Selim says that when you are unusual, you see it in every mosque, where do the sisters pray at the end? Is that right? Where do the children play? They play and play in the middle.

00:33:42--> 00:34:00

And where do the adults the male play straight away behind our sofa salon? This is the perception that you get when you enter the mosque. And this is I am sure the perception that you get and expect if you go accidentally, to the mosque of aerosol Salah. Now imagine, imagine

00:34:01--> 00:34:09

that you go to the mosque of our asylum. And you see a little girl at the very front of the mosque.

00:34:12--> 00:34:29

In a society that used to bury girls because girls bring shame to the society. What are the socialists trying to say? Well, he said many things. He's saying girls are pure. He's saying girls are honorable, so much honorable that you men.

00:34:30--> 00:34:41

Pray behind them. Don't Don't get me wrong now. What happened in the United States, etc. I'm giving. I'm giving another I'm thinking about another thing. Symbolic.

00:34:43--> 00:34:51

I'm thinking about a child at the age of two. And she looks behind her and says our motto

00:34:52--> 00:34:52

is man

00:34:54--> 00:34:59

what is the mother? The mother is Xena. The daughter of Arsalan couldn't she carry that child

00:35:00--> 00:35:15

Couldn't any mother in the mosque carry that child? Couldn't any brother to that child carry her? Couldn't any adult carry her because the mom needs to focus like the speaker needs to focus? Who are we?

00:35:16--> 00:35:29

I'm sure that are so silent can stay here on stage talk to you while he's cuddling Hassan and carrying on Mama. Like he can focus in his Salah. While caring manner.

00:35:30--> 00:35:32

He can do that. Why? Because he is

00:35:34--> 00:35:40

not seasonally and not in a moody way, but everywhere and anywhere and in any context.

00:35:41--> 00:36:18

Like he can end the prayer because the baby is crying. He can elongate the prayer because he's carrying on but all in all, what I want you to focus on is this body language carrying and remember the quotation that I gave you earlier, carrying the baby now imagine now extrapolate. Imagine a mama when she grows up, and she prays and carries her daughter? Will she just think about the thick of it, and whether he or she is urinating or not? So it used the word or she will think about good memories.

00:36:20--> 00:36:33

Do you remember positive associations? emotional music. So nice memories, I'm cutting you or Nether or Bessemer or suha or Muna or Alia

00:36:34--> 00:36:37

because lm used to carry your mother when she was young,

00:36:42--> 00:36:56

playing with children, joking with children, having fun with children. Imagine brothers and sisters and you have not seen this and you will never have seen it even if you will, if you even if you were a companion, and also Salaam raised with Ayesha.

00:36:58--> 00:37:05

Is that right? She raised with her no companion saw Selim racing with Ayesha.

00:37:08--> 00:37:17

The Hadith is narrated only by Ayesha because he raised her in private. But even in private would you imagine an imam of a mosque racing with his wife?

00:37:21--> 00:37:22

Running away from her? Yes.

00:37:23--> 00:37:29

chasing her from the kitchen to the bedroom? Yes. But racing with her.

00:37:32--> 00:37:50

But this is if you saw it would be embarrassing total socialism Not at all. But this is a private endeavor. What would be embarrassing as a respectable person, maybe in the Arabic culture or in some cultures in western I don't know, in other cultures

00:37:51--> 00:37:59

to bring your tongue out. It's not appropriate. So imagine someone brings his tongue out in public.

00:38:00--> 00:38:05

What would be the situation? I tell you that it happened with

00:38:07--> 00:38:09

narrates which shows that it's a public incident.

00:38:10--> 00:38:42

And I want to read it in Arabic. And this is in the book of Evan had done Mahathir Mohamad and Abbey Orion autonomy Alon Khan Cana Rasulullah. Saw Salim lay down literally Santa, who then has an alley, Pharaoh sabi hombre tells me I could have said this in the physical appearance by the way to make you appreciate that also salah and consequently, to appreciate this incident, he says I saw Salam or so seldom used to which shows that it happened more than once. Bring his tongue out.

00:38:44--> 00:38:46

So to the to Allison.

00:38:47--> 00:39:10

So that hasn't seen the redness of the tongue over a saucer. But what is he doing? He's playing with a child, but he's playing in public and he's not embarrassed from the cameras or the pens of the narrator's he's not embarrassed that you would know this incident. He's not embarrassed that I narrate this incident. He's proud of it. And that's why he did it. Because he wants all of us to do it. Can you do it in public?

00:39:11--> 00:39:16

sunnah of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:39:17--> 00:39:24

And that's why I'm opening up our cutoff again, the one that was kissing, I'm trying to give you

00:39:25--> 00:39:38

unusual incidents that clash with your perceptions and trying to lead are also some building blocks and trying to demolish blocks in our mentality and probably rebuild them again.

00:39:40--> 00:39:40

New blocks

00:39:42--> 00:39:59

on top is saying and this is a fascinating quotation, because the narrator is fascinating. If it was other than Omar, we would have said okay, fine, but almost to say that Omar says the man this is two brothers with his wife

00:40:00--> 00:40:09

With his children should behave like a baby. Probably mothers and wives think about men like this anyway but behave like a baby.

00:40:11--> 00:40:15

Meaning easygoing, approachable,

00:40:16--> 00:40:20

nice, innocent, like a baby.

00:40:21--> 00:40:27

You beat him up. He doesn't retaliate. You speak to him with a toy, he smiles.

00:40:29--> 00:40:42

So, our capacity and buckler module una de la casa de and when that very child or very baby is called for a duty he is found responsible man

00:40:44--> 00:40:55

for either Tony sama endo y ou g de la jolla and he smiles with his wife, he plays with his girls and boys at home. But when he is called,

00:40:56--> 00:40:57

he behaves like a man

00:40:59--> 00:41:00

or like a woman, a responsible woman.

00:41:02--> 00:41:17

So Selim gave gifts gave presence, not just in any times he gave it any time because gifts make you beloved to children think about. You see, think about what our cell is trying to do. He's trying to make children love him.

00:41:19--> 00:41:34

He gave gifts because he wanted children to love him. In fact, you yourself know that how do you how do you give gifts so that you may love each other more and more which means that gifts has a functional role to play.

00:41:37--> 00:41:37

And there are

00:41:39--> 00:41:47

many hobbies that serve that dimension. And I'm going to quote you one or two hadiths.

00:41:49--> 00:41:54

In the book of Muslim narrated by Evelyn narrated by Abu hurayrah Ravi Allah on

00:41:55--> 00:42:25

another solar lights and olalia sell them can you do well is summer fair, cool. Allahumma barik lenawee Medina, Tina fumiaki as Romeo will done, every season, the crops, the dates, the foods and Medina will come toward us or sell them and he will distribute them and to their juice whoever deserve that portion. But before he does all that, as the ruler before he distributes, he brings, they say in the Heidi.

00:42:26--> 00:42:40

He brings the youngest children and give them some dates first and says Allah Houma, bless our Medina, bless our city, bless our people,

00:42:41--> 00:43:22

bless our crops and fruits, bring the children I want to give them some dates. And imagine the child taking some days from the handle for profits are seldom and there is a long queue of adults, they are all waiting for the children to finish eating the dates. And if they want some more, they can have some more. And they leave. They can play football afterwards. But they were blessed to queue first in the queue to take some dates from the hands of a prophet SAW Selim. So imagine what sort of an emotional link will happen between them. And also Salam O Allah, so Allah ordered me to do anything I will do it because one day you gave me dates. One day you give me gifts, brothers and

00:43:22--> 00:43:54

sisters. Give your children gifts. Go to the charity shops if you can't afford toys from Early Learning Center. For example, go to the charity shop. Go to Poundland. It's not the it's not the toy. It's that you are building an experience with your child that my father bought me a toy the toy will break will break after five minutes. Especially if it's from Poundland. But But that's not the issue. The issue is not one day, my father bought me a broken toy from Poundland for a pound.

00:43:58--> 00:44:15

The Book of Oberon generation of the Hadith happened after the death of the prophet SAW Selim. This Hark, even Yeah, it seems that this is a tabula. He says I was with my uncle Lisa Eben palha in the mosque, perhaps in Medina or in Damascus.

00:44:17--> 00:44:25

And an old man entered called a salad. Ebony's eat now a sad baby as eat an old man now.

00:44:26--> 00:44:31

He's a companion because he saw the prophet SAW Salah, anyone who saw the prophet SAW Selim.

00:44:33--> 00:44:37

And he was a Muslim while seeing him. And he remained a Muslim.

00:44:38--> 00:44:41

Till the death of Prophet Mohammed Salim he's a companion.

00:44:42--> 00:44:54

And he has to have seen him or touched him or was a contemporary with him or have met him even if he wasn't blind. So the seeing is not an issue here is being with him, is listening to his voice. Because the mother

00:44:56--> 00:45:00

was blind yet he is a companion and he believes

00:45:00--> 00:45:14

You can also sell him but he wasn't ABCD I haven't seen the profit. He's not a companion. Okay, this is just a small definition. aside, even yazeed is an old man now, when he was young, he was a child. Well, that's an obvious statement.

00:45:17--> 00:45:24

But everyone knows that he's a companion. But now we are not the age of the companions. We are in the age of the Barbarian. So,

00:45:25--> 00:45:37

Risa the uncle is saying to his heart, his heart seems to be a young boy young today. He says, Go and ask as sad Ebony as he has he ever seen an SOS lm?

00:45:40--> 00:45:45

So his heart goes to the shape. In the in the Hadith, it says the shape an old man.

00:45:46--> 00:45:54

And he says, My uncle Isa and palha is asking you, how do I eat Rasulullah? Saw Selim, have you seen also la saw Selim?

00:45:57--> 00:46:17

And this year, saying what now talking about beautiful memories, childhood memories, he's saying, I entered one day to aerosol, sell them in the mosque? What am I hilma with some children, we chose if anything good company, okay, they were not gangsters. They were going to the mosque to meet them.

00:46:18--> 00:46:28

And we saw him in the mosque or in the house or in the marketplace, doesn't think the Hadith fellow did not call you tomorrow, and he was eating dates with some companions.

00:46:29--> 00:46:39

And when he saw us aside, the sheriff is saying, and when he saw us, he took some dates, and he gave them to us.

00:46:40--> 00:47:14

What next? Nothing, end of story. But what an honorable story. What a fascinating document was the source of pride. So much so that the uncle says to the Son, or to the young boy, go and ask him, Have you seen him? So what if? Yes, you have seen him? Yes, you touched his hand. And yes, you've eaten dates that He has given you? What the source of honor, and what the source of pride, the fascinating thing is that he still remembers.

00:47:16--> 00:47:17

And this is exactly what I'm saying.

00:47:19--> 00:47:29

And a final comment, notice in that IDF, how the uncle is anxious to link the young boy with a legacy of asylum.

00:47:30--> 00:47:43

Imagine now a celebrity is moving in the street. And you go and ask you some to ask the celebrity for an autograph. What are you doing, you are linking your son with that celebrity,

00:47:45--> 00:47:50

with the shoes of that celebrity, with a shaver of that celebrity, with the glasses of that celebrity,

00:47:51--> 00:47:56

with their shirt of that celebrity, with a hair cut of that celebrity,

00:47:57--> 00:48:07

with a scandals of that celebrity, with the pregnancy of the girlfriend of that celebrity. Now imagine, you link that boy

00:48:08--> 00:48:31

with a simple story, such as seeing the profits or seller, what sort of a bond are you creating with the young generation, you are making them feel that everything that is associated with them is honorable, including that shift, who is called a salad, a bin is eat.

00:48:33--> 00:48:34

There is an

00:48:35--> 00:48:36

incident.

00:48:37--> 00:49:07

We spoke about the emotional block and how seldom use the carrying cuddling, wiping on the head kissing, playing with children by way of building their emotional block or by way of building the emotional dimension in their character. And I suggested that without that they will not be emotional fathers, they will not be emotional mothers they will not be able to offer compassion to society.

00:49:10--> 00:49:31

Another thing that I saw Selim did is that I also sell them according to that Hadith that is narrated by Otto Bharani was sitting in the mosque and a man a woman a well known companion came toward us or Salim and said yeah, Rasul Allah, Allah has an old saying, and has an unforeseen or lost or missing

00:49:32--> 00:49:59

and straightaway or a sauce alum, or the companions to do a quick search for an Hassan and Hussein young children and they are missing and no adult is accompanying them, and are also some sallallahu wasallam went himself searching for them as well. So he participated in the search campaign as if it were, and they went and found them in an isolated place, but they were terrified.

00:50:00--> 00:50:15

You know what happened? They got lost. And while they were lost, there was a huge snake that was just about to attack them. And imagine two children

00:50:16--> 00:50:22

that are terrified, frightened. One is one year older than the other.

00:50:24--> 00:50:56

I don't want to say twins, but they were extremely close to each other. And who knows, this closeness might have been built by the emotional training of our social asylum. They were hugging each other out of being terrified, and aerosol cell and straightaway he came. According to the Hadeeth. I'm not bringing my own words. The snake began looking at an apostle saw Selim, and according to the narrator, I'm not putting my own words. It seems that a conversation

00:50:59--> 00:51:19

well, either Shuja a higher carb lamb, you heard human fi shout out enough. Personally here sudo la sallallahu alayhi wa sallam felt fit Mojave one level Sunni leisel allow any SLM film and sub A john the snake looked at them talking to us or sell them

00:51:20--> 00:51:25

or probably also sell him was talking to the snake and the snake straightaway left.

00:51:26--> 00:52:18

And also sell them went to the terrified and hasn't been separated them apart. Again, wiping on their head. But now the context is different. The context is that he is wiping to comfort them out of fear. And then this is the another gist of the Hadith. He carried one of them on one shoulder and carried the other on the other if you are at that time, had a digital camera and took a photo to the profit of the prophet SAW Selim and showed it. years and years and years and years after that, to Muslims living in London or Washington, people might say you're a liar, we would not expect them to do such a thing that he is being surrounded by children or companions. A snake just ran away. And he

00:52:20--> 00:52:43

if you want, don't want to give like a fire brigade, rescuing children from a burning building, holding those two grand son of his wiping on their head and making this comment be Abby will only and to Ma Ma Chroma Kumar Allah, you are so dignified in the sight of Allah subhanho wa Taala. I will,

00:52:44--> 00:53:08

we'll do what I can to protect you and to help you. And then he carried one, as I said, on the left and one on the right. The point I'm trying to make is this carrying, and this wiping at the moment of fear. So when you see your child doing something, that might be wrong. But as a result, he is terrified. Don't reproach him here and then.

00:53:10--> 00:53:56

But take him and embrace him. And they say that when a newborn baby has arrived into the family and there is an already jealous child, this child might beat venue baby, they say that the big mistake is to go and be the one who has beating venue because he's doing this out of fear that you don't love him you desert him anymore. So the way to deal with him is to give him more love him or her by embracing her. And by kissing and forget about the crying baby. This is amazing. Forget about the crying baby. At least make that girl or boy emotionally secure in time of terror. And in time of worry. And in time of fear. But the the other hidden message in that in that Hadith, which is

00:53:56--> 00:54:10

fascinating, when I saw seldom heard that they were missing history, and we searched for them. And yeah, I want to contemporize this hadith a little bit by saying do parents today search for the sons and daughters?

00:54:11--> 00:54:51

Do they know what they are doing in the internet cafes or in the coffee shops or behind the school building? And they are aware where their children are going in the evening Friday night? Are they really going to the mosque? Are they really going to meet their friends in a in a religious and pious place? Or do we need actually to apply the son of Prophet Mohammed Salim and to actually go and search for them because there are bigger snakes in society that might one day eat them and you are not the Prophet so you will not have any conversation with that big snake. So the snake will eat them that is for sure. And when you come it will be only too late.

00:54:52--> 00:54:55

The other thing that I wanted to make it categorically

00:54:56--> 00:54:59

specifically confined to children female

00:55:00--> 00:55:36

Children is how Arsalan was merciful with female children. And one of the immediate examples that I would like to give is how he deals with Fatima and a Salaam, his daughter in that Hadith where it says that Fatima entered to the room when also Salam was sitting and look at that, again. What is amazing in this Heidi's is that they are verbally mute. There is no words. It's just images. It's just action. It's just bodily movement. You have to now read between the lines because there is no narrator here.

00:55:38--> 00:55:46

For karma Ella, he stood up, he's not talking. He's not saying he's not saying I'm standing up now. No, he stood up.

00:55:48--> 00:55:51

And he kissed her. Fatima

00:55:53--> 00:55:54

and he made her sit

00:55:55--> 00:56:05

in his place, not next to him, but in his place and then he sat next to her. This is also Salim and how he receives children.

00:56:07--> 00:56:39

Unfortunately, fortunately or unfortunately, this hadith is famous, because it has been circumcised for Kosice meaning that we look at it only from the point of view, is it allowed to stand up? Yes, it's allowed to stand up for Allah out of respect for the elders out of respect, or for someone that you love. And also a cell limit has been narrated that he stood for Fatima. Fine, this is the fifth. But what is the compassion? What is the love? Where is a prophet that receives revelation from Allah standing for his daughter.

00:56:42--> 00:56:48

And kissing, kissing her not saying or kiss your father, now, you may You may kiss your father now.

00:56:49--> 00:57:01

And he doesn't say sit on the floor because your respected father, he receives the revelation. He's sitting in the middle of the know why janessa McCann in the Arab culture, and I'm sure it's an Islamic

00:57:02--> 00:57:19

courtesy as well is that when you treat someone, well, you make him sit in your place unless you are in prison or something, but you make and sit in, in, in your place out of respect and out of showing love. To me, you know what's important in that to me, and you might disagree with me.

00:57:20--> 00:57:23

Especially sisters, you know what that association is doing?

00:57:25--> 00:57:31

assassin is fulfilling the girl at an early stage and please bear with me and

00:57:32--> 00:57:48

and don't get offended. He's fulfilling the girl emotionally. So that the girl does not easily fall. When there is a stupid guy waiting for her outside the school tells her that you are beautiful.

00:57:50--> 00:58:02

If a girl is coming from a house where she is only being beaten, or insulted, or swearing at, or saying May Allah cares the day that you were born, or old.

00:58:04--> 00:58:30

And the ugliest boy on this earth, come and says I can't sleep the night without thinking about you. You are the most beautiful even if she was like him, you are the most beautiful. I'm sorry to say this. I'm joking. You're the most beautiful and they will fall in love with each other because both of them have no but are you going to kiss me I have been kissed by my father. Are you going to say that you are beautiful. My mother already said it to me

00:58:31--> 00:58:32

will come home.

00:58:34--> 00:59:17

My mother said it to me my father said it to me then I live near retirement Mary's Fatima has to compete he has to show more compassion he cannot show less than that. Because so seldom dealt with her exactly like that. And this is a message to all the girls and all the boys and all the parents Nothing is wrong with telling your daughter that she is beautiful with spending some time with her with a cuddling her with cutting her with like any human being, they need their emotions to be filled. And then they go out to society protected vaccinated against those wolves outside that just just want to mess with gifts

00:59:18--> 00:59:20

and prey on the weak

00:59:21--> 00:59:31

emotionally weak. So you need to be stabilized emotionally and this is exactly what he was doing. He was building the building the emotions of the girl.

00:59:34--> 00:59:42

And finally, girls and this is fascinating Hadith and I cannot see is but thinking about it and visualizing it again.

00:59:44--> 00:59:50

I know Muhammad bin Taliban aside on call it is a young child.

00:59:51--> 00:59:57

But again, like a set of women as each generates this idea when she became a woman became a mother.

00:59:58--> 00:59:59

She says one

01:00:00--> 01:00:06

And also sell and buy. When she narrated it, obviously, I don't have to say it again. She died. I saw sell and this was years years years ago

01:00:08--> 01:00:15

and had been planted inside. She says, I came one day with the prophet SAW Selim with my father.

01:00:16--> 01:00:25

And look, she remembers, she remembers everything she says. And I was at that time wearing a yellow shirt. She was young child.

01:00:27--> 01:00:42

For Karna Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam center center. Center is not Arabic word. Do you know what is it? It's a habashi expression. It's an ABC an expression, because um, Khalid spent a lot of her years

01:00:43--> 01:01:06

in AB Sr. She migrated to habashi. And she remained there for years and years and years. It's like she migrated to London, and she cannot speak Urdu. She can only speak English. So when she went to Pakistan, her grandfather said, How are you? On Khalid? Nice meeting you Kiana. He speaks to her in a language that she understands. So and So Selim.

01:01:07--> 01:01:33

What is fascinating in this hadith Do you know what he's not saying? How are you harlot careful had to show the father that he cares about the daughter? No. Oh, Father, just step aside for a minute I am communicating with your daughter. I want her to know. And Santa Santa, what does it mean? I want her to know that what she is waiting is beautiful. Santa Santa means Beautiful, beautiful. I can't establish in that Hadith whether he says to her You are beautiful

01:01:34--> 01:02:19

or gorgeous and Abyssinian or he is saying to the yellow shirt, beautiful shirt. But in either case, he is saying something that is good, fulfilling the emotions of the girl. And number two speaking to her and doing exactly that, through a language that they can understand that she can understand. Now, you know what is fascinating to me, what is coming next on Khalid says, And after that, I began fiddling with the birthmark of the prophet SAW Salem Witch shows that he is hot an MBR or the seal of the prophets. You know, this birthmark. It's a birthmark that has three hairs coming out of it.

01:02:21--> 01:02:41

A swollen mark that has three hairs coming this is the birthmark rabbis, Christians, etc at that time knew it. And like that's why Sandman is fallacy when he became a Muslim. He went just like this at the back of a cell and said, you want to see my birthmark, don't you? And he showed it to him. Now this girl is not asking for permission.

01:02:42--> 01:03:15

She's playing she's exploring and she saw something interesting. something fascinating to fiddle with. You know what is fascinating in this hadith I haven't told you what is fascinating in this hadith yet. She fiddled with it and what would the father say? You tell me what would the father say? On Carlat? Stop it don't we do that everywhere in any way to show the Prophet that she is a well broth girl that I'm disciplining her stop it or salsa solomont like that. Don't be naughty here and at home.

01:03:16--> 01:03:52

You will break the table or the glass No, no, because she says Giovanni Evie. My father approached me and said stop it. And our sauce lm says da she says she says Arsalan says da ha leave her alone. And he said to her. You remember when I said ns said that also Salim sometimes speaks three times and I said to children, probably two children and he repeats three times. You know what he said to her? He said I believe I believe a Philippi I believe you know what it means in Arabic tear and wear, tear and wear? tear and where

01:03:54--> 01:04:48

have you ever thought of bringing to your child a toy for him or her to break to tear and we're just for the sake of exploring. Because that in itself is a psychological exercise. And that's why I thought my daughter loves going to the nursery and does not necessarily love coming back home. Because at home No, don't. This will break no get away from the TV. But in nursery, everything is broken. All the toys are old. break anything, came and waited and waited and waited. And what is fascinating is that so seldom is allowing her to tear and wear the most valuable sign of his craft Prophethood imagine imagine, of course he knows that this is just a child. Imagine she tears and

01:04:48--> 01:04:50

Wales cartmill MBR

01:04:52--> 01:05:00

don't extrapolate too much in through this imagination. I'm just trying to squeeze the lemon to try to

01:05:00--> 01:05:30

Just see what sort of lessons we can get out of that. This is the extent to which our salon was prepared to allow children to tear and were to explore and to play. Now don't talk to me about tables and glasses and this and that. If I'm allowing her to play with my birthmark, which signifies which converts people to Islam, then you can imagine, to what extent are so seldom is prepared to allow children to play with who to call the other stuff for a while you are looking for stuff, you know, the following