Key Points of Upbringing
Channel: Hasan Ali
File Size: 16.26MB
You don't want to have a little kid. Either you got your own little kid, you've had your little kid. You've got a nephew. You've got a nice someone. And you seen the little kid. Now little kids. They have tantrums, no tantrums or
tantrums, or they call tantrums. You know, tantrums. Imagine a little kid wants a lollipop.
So a kid will come to you and say, lollipop, lollipop,
lollipop. Now, they want they're going to create the one that lollipop
if you just give them that lollipop, they've got the lollipop they'll sucky they'll be happy. They'll you know, so fine. But then after a while, after a day or so, lollipop, lollipop, Mama lollipop, Sweetie, sweetie lollipop, Sweetie, sweetie lollipop. Now the thing is, if you just give it you've given it they've got what they want, they know every time is a lollipop.
Now one day what happens is you realize you realize that the kitty that you love and so sweet and you just stick a lollipop in his in his gob to shut him up and do whatever you want. You realize that there's some darkness on the teeth.
Now you know that the Tata is going to continue to grow inside the mouth and it's going to cause them pain. So you know is going to happen so you decide not to give the lollipop the next time they asked. So they say mama lollipop. nepata. Lollipop not good for you.
butter, no good for.
Now you can imagine, if you've just been given up day in, day out day in, day out day in day out one day you say no lollipop.
They'll cry. They'll beat their hands on the ground. They'll take the legs, your two year olds do. They just they just fall down. Whoo.
I've seen it to Rosa. Yes. My two year old used to do that. I said yeah, sometimes to go there and like a gold rush to save the head from he did the floor. But they just fall back. Because they know if they do these tantrums, the more they do it, the more likely you are to give him because they know this and love in the heart.
So they put one up by let's say for example, a Papa didn't give it. They go to mama.
They go to Amazon. They go to big sister. They go to daddy john. They go to grandmother. They'll go to 90 they go whoever they've got around to get the lollipop and most of you got if you're living with Grandpa and Grandma you ain't got no discipline in the house. You know, I'm saying that.
You ain't got no discipline in the house. Are you smiling? Yeah. Or can you do that grandpa grandma's gonna go a few more years left so they think Yeah, not one lollipop. stick to one go, you know? zella Yeah. The sizzle sizzle in your mouth. Right? The thing is, imagine you hadn't given it an after a long time you stop them. Is that tantrum today? after so many days you said you're not going to give it is that tantrum going to be a tantrum that is a small tantrum or a big tantrum.
You know, after some days, suddenly you said I'm not going to give you a lollipop. is a tantrum going to be big tantrum or a small one?
A big one. A big one. And if you carry on depriving it, alright, let's imagine let's imagine I said okay, I'm not gonna give now the tantrum went on for 10 minutes. 10 minutes, and the kids crying crying. In the end. He said, Ah, forget this, man. I can't take this. You know, get a lollipop here. Put open your mouth. Ah.
Now you've done bigger damage.
You have just, you've just done bigger damage. What's that? You have now taught the kid 10 minutes of a tantrum. And then you can get lollipop. The next time the kid asked for a lollipop. And 10 minutes go by. Do you think that kid's gonna stop at a 10 minutes tantrum? Or do you think the kid's gonna think if I just can get that tantrum to go a bit longer? I'll get my lollipop. What do you think is gonna do
Gabi long is 100 lollipops Do you have a day? joking
He knows if he goes a little bit more he will get it. So this time, 12 minutes, 30 minutes, 14 minutes and if he doesn't get it like that he'll show his upset he'll show he's not happy he show I don't want this. I don't want to eat other one and he starts to do different things. First he was just crying. Now he's getting he wants to show you that he's gonna hurt you in a different way. Would you rotini County, Virginia?
You want me to go to lava?
Now you think okay, cello Catarina is gonna have lollipop forgiven. So you give it to our you kill the evil war. Now they know I can do different tactics and I'll get the lollipop of them. Forget lollipop soon is going to be ice cream.
Every time the ice cream van comes, is going to be ice cream. You got to give the ask if you don't give them tantrum. If you don't, if you don't give them there's going to be bit more emotions and so on and so forth right. Now, why am I saying this to you is
let's look at it from a different perspective. Imagine the child was after something from you. Even if it was a lollipop. And you thought to yourself, this is important. I've given you one lollipop. Yeah, that's fine. We don't have that many lollipop. You can have it. You just haven't made you want to week I'll give you a lollipop. So when that wants to be come to this has done his fine. Every week Friday, you wouldn't give him a lollipop. Friday, they have lollipop. That's it. No other lollipop no other time. If you control him with sweets, chocolates, chocolate bars, whatever you've got. Yep. And you control it in your house and you got a limit to how much they can have. They will
get used to it. They will only demand what they got what you give them. Even a two year old three year old four year old guaranteed guaranteed, you will be able to get them to have what you want them to have.
Any parents who have trained their kids like that, please put your hands up who have limits in the house. Just say that you can I can only have that much.
A man is only four of us here. It was the rest of you, man. You guys like you guys love your dentists in our like try to give them a lot of business. You know? Anyway, what I want to say to you, you can get them used to it. If you put your principal inside your place in the beginner is not going to be easy. The same kid will show you tantrum as well. You try and train them but they will show you trying to but it won't be as bad as the other one. Do you agree with me or not? You train them from day number one. No, he's a lollipop. Fine Friday, the next Friday you get a lollipop fine. Everybody gets a lot harder Saturday, Sunday. Just don't ask not Saturday, Sunday. They feel like
having a lollipop. So they come lollipop really well. And then you say look, I told you Friday, it's not Friday. Now they might show a bit of a tantrum. As long as everyone's doing the same is the key to it. As long as everybody in the house is all stuck with the same principle. There is no big sister who suddenly mom's not here does not hear could
tell the jelly socket socket breaking. He did. You know wash your mouth. I don't want anyone to you know, shake your hand and find it all sticky. You know, I'm saying get inside. As long as no one's breaking the rules inside the house and everybody's staying on the one rule that kid very easily will learn how to try to obey to your rules. Now why I've said to what I've said this is because you know, we've all got a side inside us we've got an ego, an ego inside us. That ego says to you and me. I want to sit down. I don't want to do work. That ego says I don't want to give this away. That ego says I want to keep this to myself. That ego says I'm not going to get into that person. He's
gonna say so to me first. What does he think he's gonna get me to sorry, Sam first. You're not gonna say sorry. First. He's gonna say sorry. First. We've all got an ego inside that's got his set with it's set to do these things. And the same ego it says forget lollipop. The same ego will say to you depending on your age, it will say it will demand something from you.
So if it's a let's say as a teenager, he's not a teenager is not gonna ask for a lollipop.
A teenager graph a lollipop. A teenager will say mobile phone.com a mobile phone is that gone? I need a mobile phone.
Today only 13 years old 12 years ago What do you mean a mobile phone for
your son I'll give you one of those Nokia is which Nokia that may not one of those that are you know 1990s Nokia, but that you know I need the I need a smartphone.
I just needed stuff. I'm gonna do my homework and
homework and you go do your homework on your phone. Now, kids asked for a smartphone. Right? He wants to do his homework on his smartphone. 1213 years old wherever he is. All right. thing is if you don't realize this is
The ego and this is going to turn into a tantrum. How use a fancy no no no no sandawana by you don't you don't need you know you don't need this phone. But I do need it that I do need it.
I will my friends have got a an ad you know they're all good. They're all playing on the old Dune is the old dinner party in our Philippine last when they talk to me. I'm got one. Son you don't need another son is going to go to the Mom. Mom. Mom. I need a smartphone. I need a smartphone. I need a smartphone. I need a smartphone. I need this. I need a smartphone.
Can you hear me coming up? He won't ask for a lollipop is a smart
thing is it's the same ego. It was lollipop yesterday. It was ice cream the next day. He was Lego the next day. It was Star Wars The next day, it was something else the next day. It was the latest trainers The next day, it was something else the next day. And now it's mobile phone. A mobile phone is just the beginning of a teenage life. The next thing they want is they want the Xbox, they want this they want the latest PS on the ps4. They want something else they want to be hooked up to technology. And each time they put the demand on the table in different ways. It says same child inside but it's in a different way. Are you are you following me? Yep. Till he gets married.
Now some people they get married but they're still kids.
The guy's married but he's still a kid. She's still a kid. They say no not not to talk about Melissa. We don't marry kids like that. You know? We live in Scotland. You know?
Let me tell you how it works.
The man is married.
He's just married another man's daughter.
And they live happily ever after.
As the beginning of the jackin always you hear when you small stories. Every fairy tale you hear at the end and they leave it always ends up with he married her and they all live happily ever after. My friend happily ever after is only one place that is called Jana.
All right. Happily Ever After is Jana. Do you ever think happily ever after is going to happen in this this world? It don't exist Gemma don't exist. It doesn't happen. Happily Ever After is in Jana. So they got married four months. Lovely. Six months lovely. One year gone still okay. You know, they say yeah, before they met. They were two lonely birds.
When they met
there were two loving birds. And after they got married, there were two Angry Birds.
Angry Birds. Right now they're married one year goals, two year goals. three year goals. Now you know the fun all that lovely WWE TV. I am bollywood, Hollywood. Both of us are the best. And we live happily ever after. Now all that kind of stuff. You know the fairytale stuff. It starts to disappear. Life kicks in. And now they have to put up with each other. I know the tantrums. They're still there. My friend is still there. The guy was bought up on Rodia aronia and papaya papaya. His mom used to keep coppia heastie rhodia. And he used to love it or maybe producting a plant a
not planting product a good word part of a study from
Punjab, but that's your prerogative. I'm talking about the plant a
branch beratan Franti, whatever it is right. Now your property the guy wants a guy used to his mom used to cook it nicely, and he's happy with all the ghee and everything else. And he used to love it. All right. His wife used to make him karate as well. When they got married. She used to wake up religiously, religiously wake up to try and give her husband priority in the morning off or jeevanjee 5g. You can't get better than that. After two years, three years. Yeah. You know, he walks in the house. And she's basically sitting on the sofa. Yeah, she's polishing her nails. All right, love.
You gotta take away today.
Welcome to enough. After two years, three years forget per day. Right? You'd be lucky if you get fish and chips. have been lucky man. She tells you to go to the fridge yourself. Take it out. It's only 45 minutes late, you know? You take it out from there, put it in the oven and you have it yourself. Now the guy wants his prerogative.
young cook for me
we've been doing all day
and cooking often so first day you know I said bichara sub sub as impatience, goes gets himself goes out whatever second day does he another monkey does it whatever soon This guy is not going to take them he's gonna come home one day said hey listen, get up from the get up
making some karate mechanism Leinster mechanism Ashima yarrabah make it once twice this in the end she she's heard she got a little ego in as well. He goes to the head to the relax his ego says
her ego says cut out
his own ego says one thing Hey she her ego says nothing. Can you see the kids in Saudia cars can you see the kids and Saudia after a little while he's gonna throw tantrum. tantrum is not going to be lollipop is not going to be ice cream is not going to be mobile phone is going to be Hey,
Mama Parata and I want it now. Man hungry? Man angry, hungry, angry mean double trouble. You know, the guy basically is going to throw his tantrum in an adult way. That tantrum hasn't gone. The human has developed from a kid to an adult, but the kid inside the ego has not changed. Has everybody understood the message I'm giving you? Everyone has stood right? The dean of Islam has come with all of us being born. Every human being is born with a natural side to throw your tantrums. Every human being has been born with a natural talent to overcome your tantrums every human being has been born to to be as comfortable as you can be. And every human being has been born to take up any harshness
that's out there.