How To Bring Barakah In The House

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Hasan Ali

Channel: Hasan Ali

Episode Notes

Delivered at Collingwood Masjid, Tower Hamlets on Sunday 14th February 2016.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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celerra manorhamilton hamdulillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi nine

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Firstly, brothers and sisters who are listening and to all the views on the online streaming as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Brothers, can you hear me clearly in the other room as well? You can hear me okay.

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I'd like to first start off by saying that

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we have our homes so we have our houses, and those houses, our houses that we've got our only brick and mortar.

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There's nothing really great about it. Unless you fill it in with people. Okay, unless you fill it in with people. So imagine that this this town here if this town was empty of people, what what would this town be if you walked in this town, and it was a dead town as in? No people in any shops? No people, no houses? Nobody in any of these buildings.

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The whole town has been deserted. What would it be it be nothing, it'd be empty shell. And for you to live here. You wouldn't even find comfort so you can actually empty maybe a few miles of radius. You walk in here for you to have the most comfortable bed. And the most comfortable house in the whole of the area in the most comfortable room. is still not comfortable. Why not? Guys? Why not?

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Because you're alone.

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Yeah, exactly. You're alone. And there's no one to go meet. There's no one can talk to there's no one out on the streets. There's no noise. There's nobody around. So what it does is it makes you a person who feels that I am.

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I am without without any company. Now. Our house is a different scenario first and we'll get to family breakup.

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Our interview This is either

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for

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me, okay, so Are

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you happy now?

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is okay. Should you be pointing to the ceiling to me? Is that okay?

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comfort mode.

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You want to hold it like an ice cream?

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Okay, that's, that's, that's the best I'll do for you.

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So if we have

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our household Do you think about it? What makes our household homes so if you want to turn a house into a home, you've got to look at the individual inside and who brings what inside? That's what will turn something into a home. It's either a house or it's a home. If you find comfort in your house. If you like being in your house, if you like going to your house

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then it's then it's a home. But if you don't like it, if you don't like going to house then it's not a home. It's just the house.

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What makes it a home is the people inside now let's explore that.

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Depending on the human eye you might think oh yeah, okay mom, dad, brother, sister, me probably a nephew or a niece or someone for my child. My children that's what makes the house or the make the home. Well you're wrong. That's a lot of home. You could be comfortable to comfort is in two ways. Comfort is in two ways. One is a material comfort. One is an internal comfort. One is external one is internal. External comfort is you've got all your facilities you need. You've got your nice, you know hot hot water when you need it. You've got running water, you've got electricity, you've got the gas, you've got the internet, you've got the Wi Fi all these are external comforts that you've

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got. You've got the sofa, you've got the bed you've got you know chairs, you got the table and so on food valuable fridges there is all external. Internal comfort is when you have got something in Bangla, as we know we say Shanti

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you know Shanti. Yeah, to have that internal. What would you call that you call that?

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Peace. Yes, peace, comfort of mind. No stress. This is what Shanti would be. So when you've got that, that's when you really got comfort. So there's two things in a in a house that will make it a home. One is the external comfort to your body and the other one is an internal comfort to your mind.

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And brothers and sisters

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Most of us when we're in our houses, we probably think about the external one a lot of the times, but not many of us think about the internal See, to get the internal one, you have to have the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal because Allah has said Allah be the killer he talks only through a loss remembrance will mind be content only through a large number. So let's get to this. What happens in most houses is you go inside there, there's all sorts of people now every person you look at, again, you're looking at a show, just the way you're looking at houses or houses or shelves, and houses become a home's once you can want to know who's inside and what kind of comforts they bring

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to you externally and internally. Every human being is a shell

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all your family members are shells

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and the comfort they will bring to you or the comfort they will make around you or bring into the house. The Baraka or the blessing they will bring inside the house depends again what's inside. So what do you what do we mean by this? What we mean by this is that when you have inside the house and I'm going to be straight up and this is from so many orlimar have mentioned this even if you go to the pseudo loss of the loss of a heartbeat you will find this quite clear where he has told us don't make your houses graveyards How do you make your house a graveyard? Who would want to turn the house in a graveyard but the promise of blossoms telling us don't make your house a graveyard? What's a

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graveyard? Well is tombstones is somewhere where you go there visit but you don't want to stay there it's spooky it's cold it's it you know some people don't find it comfortable to stay there. It's it's a reminder that you got to leave the world. It's a It's a place where dead people live. So why did he say Why did you tell some of us don't make your houses a graveyard? Because he then adds to say that those of you

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who have houses deprived of the tilava and the recitation of the Quran, they have turned the houses integrate huts.

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Now, my strikes on people, man, you come to my house here the guy might say I'm not talking about Sophia the garden as you come to my house, man. You walk inside there the copy the comfort? Yeah, the lights of God. Yeah, especially these days the gold is designer lights. So guys got designer lights. He's got deco he's got the wooden pieces. He's got the marble tops wah wah. Yeah. So then you walk inside and you know as you go inside you just look at his lounge area. And you think man is better than my shisha plus? Some guys literally, I was just driving down here. See these guys? They would some of these fasting. Electronic Cigarettes look bigger than electronic cigarettes. When

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pumped when they

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when they blew out? Yeah. For man. That's some serious chimney walk in the street, man. Seriously, the guys at least these five things are blowing and blowing now. And I'm thinking, you know, man, you just I don't know what you're doing inside. Yeah, imagine the amount of smoke that's coming outside. Imagine amount of smoke that's coming outside. I'm thinking Whoa, that's a heavy amount of smoke. And that's all going in his lungs first and then coming out. To some people just don't understand.

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Some people don't understand. They just don't. They're not hard to read. They understand it. But you know, bang leveling boozier buzina.

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That means he understands but he still doesn't understand. So how does somebody understand and still not understand? Well, on a cigarette packet, it says it says Smoking kills now just say straightaway, smoking kills or smoking causes cancer smoking can kill. It's got a strain on the packet. So he knows he's ready. It's about 20% of the of the size of the packet itself is ready. He'll take one out. He lay up there. We'll take it in. And then he'll see

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how far does my smoke Go man?

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Am I a little circle? See?

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I'm smart man is killing himself. But he's still smart. Boo Boo Xena Johnson. Understand but he still doesn't understand. So when I came back to the people inside the house here each of the house in Asia has a different window Sula. sallallahu said he said your houses you look at your houses don't make them graveyards. Now this guy is saying Look at me man. You walk in his house and you see all this furniture brilliant leather sofas my man he's got his 50 inch screen there he's got all the you know he's got the from the you know he's probably bought all the generations there ps1 ps3 ps3 ps

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For now I'm saying he's got the whole generation. He's got the sky he's got this he's got this this thing and that thing anyway bedroom you go there man you just want to sleep there you look at the comfort of his king size bed. Yes quilt all of that. You just want to snooze inside. Now, Prophet sallallahu wasallam is still telling us that such a place here where you might just looking tight and you just look outside his garage, you see a beautiful car nice and clean. You look back in his backyard, you see Nice, nice, nice grass, that's just low density of the mode, everything. But the privacy laws are still saying to us, such a house will become a graveyard because there's no tilava

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in the house. Now there's two things happening brothers, their house has got an external way you decorate it and as an internal way you decorate it. And most people forget this. And the more important one is the internal one just as a human being you've got an external way of beautifying yourself and you've got an internal one beautifying yourself. So let me start with the house first

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episode as brothers if anyone's got a mobile phone, because this is pretty off if there's any noise coming this tell somebody to switch switch the phone or from app to clarity. Thank you.

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So the house, it's got two ways. If you're pumping music in the house,

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if you're pumping music, you've got you you've got you know, the angels are not not interested in hunger, the angel of mercy are not interested in staying in your house. But the shayateen are interested in come to your house. If you got tilava recitation of the Quran being said or being reciting your house, the 13 they're not interested in coming into your house. They run away, but the melodica the angels are interested in coming into the house. Okay. If you go inside your house, somebody is remembering a lot. A lot going on. Each time somebody prays there is no there is light by spreading inside the house. For Salah to know Rasulullah sallallahu has told us the Salah is

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light. We don't see there is actual light inside the house. We will see it on the Day of Judgment. Rasulullah sallallahu has told us that he is told to

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give good news to those people who walk to the masjid in the darkness. See, when they walk to the masjid for a shower and for fudger they walk to the masjid, we see darkness we see we see an old man or see a man or someone walking to the masjid in the dark. But he doesn't see it and we don't see he's creating light. He's got light he's got serious light and you don't see it in this world when they go to the Day of Judgment. Rasulullah sallallahu snowless Bashir whom he said give them good news be newly time Yama, Yama, of lighter is complete, complete radiant on the Day of Judgment, they will have light all around them because they did the action. When people in this house in the house

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of this world, they are reciting Quran they don't know what's going on. So let me give you a hadith in Bukhari, who saved me today about the Allahu anhu It's a hobby of the prophets of Allah Harrison, who saved in a date.

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Early morning in Medina, he went to his barn to see his horse. And at the same time, he sat there with a piece of the Quran and he started to recite the Quran. When he recited the Quran, he noticed that there was some like lanterns of light to canopy of lights that was swirling or there was force of kind of a light that came from outside of the barn. And they came right inside the barn. Some some kind of a coat canopy of lights sign had eaten Buhari so when they came when the lights came in his horse whose whole Scott unsettled and his horse was lifting his four legs and and making sound so I will say though, the alarm has stopped reciting. And the lights started to fade away or go away

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and then he started to recite again and the lights came again back into the man and his horse got unsettled and saved got scared, what is this? What are these lights and why is my horse unsettled and he then stopped again. And then the light started to fade away go again. And he started reciting again and he carried on each time he recited the lights appeared each time they appeared his whole Scotland settled until he finally thought it could get dangerous because his voice was getting quite unsettled with those with those lights. So in the end, he stopped reading and it was before further that he was doing this action. He went to Madina munawwara in the I mean very close by to the

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masjid. He went to Moscow,

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where the prophets of Allah Hardison was a lot of work but he read Salah further behind the prophets of Allah has been after the Salah, he's a messenger of Allah. This morning Something happened, which was strange. And when he quietly said what he said these kind of lights came and they came they when they came, they went in summer ready, they came in time I stopped, they went

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and my whole house was unsettled. The professor said what is it all say those

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are angels that came to listen to your recitation? This is no this is light. Because wherever angels are, they create light. Wherever, wherever shaytan goes, he creates darkness. Now that darkness you won't see the light the light with the angels, you won't see it, but it's happening in the real world. And then the verse and Rasulullah sallallahu tells who says, Oh say

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had you carried on reciting continuously, the lights would have remained and the people of Medina would have been able to see how angels look love.

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Now, what does this tell us now it was a one off incident. Not every Sahabi came to the professor lost him and told him told him that we had some lights appeared No, it was a way of a law telling us showing through one man's eyes just because he showed us a Benedetto Delano all the Sahaba understood that when you recite the Quran you're getting no you're getting light you're getting Baraka you're getting blessings. And right now when you recycle your house The same thing happens today brothers and sisters we won't see this but it's going on. So the house what happens is that it's got an internal way of making it our home. And this is it no Baraka you want blessings inside

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the house you decide on your blessing inside the house, then you start to declare Allah you do Salah you have good words inside the house, no swearing inside the house Alhamdulillah the house will have Baraka lessons, the angels will come more and more you have a house. It says in a hadith a Muslim beighton can help them figure out Assad will give a house with many idols or images that are looking like idols or other 3d sort of images of things that are that have got a soul inside them, but they're in a shape of shape like of an animal or human or something where you've got those images inside the house displayed the process of law has told us according to Hadith Muslim that the angels

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won't even enter or you've got a dog inside the house

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for no reason as in you got no reason to keep the dog inside the house. It's not it's not protecting you right now it could protect you from the garden and so on. But you brought inside the house well the same Hadith says that the angels won't come inside inside the house. This is where the angels refuse have been of Rama to come inside the house. And there are many other things that deprive the angels have Rama and mercy to go away from the house. And when they leave the house what leaves Allah Rama Allah's blessings have left your house when the person inside the house increases more and more music and sin see some people inside the house they're sitting there they're watching

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certain stuff inside the house they're not supposed to watch

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where they sit in his bedroom whether it's a brother in his bedroom a sister in her bedroom someone who's doing something that they're not supposed to do

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who's coming Tell me are the angels coming on the shotgun coming which one shotgun are coming so you got shotgun coming there somebody else's downstairs you know, they've got you know before you playing all the time.

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You know before you the young generation don't know before you screw is good guys. You don't know that you probably know some other one, right? Some other ones or some MTV or something.

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Staff utilize zactly Brava. Exactly. Don't worry, I'm not I'm not

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just that we have to keep information. So we talk to people about these things. So you got these people who don't understand the they don't understand English they all the switch says they glued on all the Indian ones here. And the youngsters who don't understand the Indian ones.

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They are on the other ones, the the music channels or the other channels on there. Now the new you know the new stats is the new one is the new stats in it real real stats is the young generation is moving away from TV.

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From the actual big TV, they're moving away from that. But where are they? Are they stopped at the stop watching TV? No, they're watching it more. Where they're watching it. They're watching on the smartphones. They're watching you on tablets, they're watching you on iPads. They're watching on small small devices, laptops and other devices. And they say that there's more people who are watching things on a smartphones, phone, the natural TV itself in 10 years time, we might actually see people are not bothered to buy TVs but they're actually bothered to buy a smartphone if you really think about it. A good smartphone cost more than a good TV yes or no. And people are buying

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them and people are watching these individual. Now the thing is what's happening inside the house is either you've got Malaika angels are coming or you've got the team coming and either one will come or the other will come now you decide what is happening when you've got fitness sin being blasted every day. From the way people are interaction between us. It is Hello Al Hamdulillah angels today it is haram

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Know what happens day to day what happens is that house of yours which is super hard Allah speaking span you walk in the house you think man saw a man saw

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the guy friends have a good car. Good phone good has good wife. What else could I ask for? Some guys? Yeah, I'm telling you, they get married, they get married. And when they get married, they have to advertise their wife to her to be

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choosy they have to show her to everybody. And the so proud. Like

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I'm not I'm not putting up

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the point I gotta say, you know, we you wish you would like me? You wish you would like me? But don't get it. You're advertising your wife to all these people.

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Why? What for what reason? You want all these people to like follow your wife? Is that why you're advertising your wife? Laila. Hi Lola. So people, people just just go into the mode and then what happens is Islam, Islam becomes different houses have different levels of Islam.

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Ha. So it depends. And some people don't like very Islamic.

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But other times it's like forget Islam, that people are not. Some people are very slumming is that as soon as you say something, some holy holy Islam, holy Kaaba, Holy Quran, holy

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time you dare say anything about the religion? You dare say anything about the Muslims and

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you can't say anything about the religion or anything but the same guy will disrespect the disrespect the contents of what is being said in the Quran and the Sunnah.

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Do you think Allah is only looking at us respecting the Quran, by hope by by touching the parameters with Voodoo, and then placing it in on a shelf as nicely? Do you think that's the only respect? Well, that's the beginning respect. That's the first respect. The real respect to the Quran is to put the Quran into one's heart and practice it.

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So I'll give you an example. The other day I, I came across a student who's becoming a half of the Quran. He's memorized 25 years ago, not all, not all students of hymns are like this, but this one particular one, you know, he got into some trouble. And then he started to lie himself out of trouble. Then I sat him down, I said, Listen,

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I said, you've memorized 25 years of the code.

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And I've just caught you lying, or you've lied a few times. The same parameters told you not to lie. You're memorizing that and you're lying. And what kind of Islam is that? So my brothers and sisters Well, what I want to say to you is that people have different levels of Islam. Some people that Islam is only Juma. Some people that Islam is only the Nika janaza Aki Colossi

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born Islam ketaki Tada and getting, you know,

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make him a problem muscle man.

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Cuz you wanna make him a proper muscle man. Yeah, do nice and early. Don't wait till he's like 15 years old. Take him to Bangladesh and do it.

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One guy, and he got it and I'm 19 years old. The worst thing was he got married two weeks later.

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Law painful bummer. Anyway, Islam, Africa, when he gets married Islam, get the molana inside Islam and when he's about when he's about to go from the world, Islam you need the janaza some people that have Islam because Islam does Islam outside Salah Hardy and Islam. There are people like this, some people's houses, the grandparents of Islam, the parents haven't got Islam. The parents haven't got Islam, the children haven't. So some good places, grandparents have great the parents have got to put the children on habit and some big places is on and off. Now what I'm gonna say to you brothers and sisters is just think about your house, what level of wisdom you got. And then you think, look,

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you know, after a while, what happens is what's the point of all of this? See when you've got your day in, day out, week in, week out, month in, month out year in year out when you have just shayateen coming to your house, when sin has been done in your house. Doesn't matter how comfortable your houses are brothers and sisters, this is now the house of shouting.

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You got a lot of shale team frequently visiting the house because there are a lot of people sitting inside the house. Our Professor Lars was told us to cut the fingernails Why?

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Because when dirt gets underneath there, even when dirt gets in your nose. When dead gets on your body. If you don't wash it, then it's a place for shaytaan look at the Hadith it tells us when you get up in the morning. The brothers of Salaam has told us

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to rinse the nose, part of Voodoo why, for English a pan can a beat because the shaytan was just sitting there while you're sleeping. It's a place where you got bogeys and you got, you know, you've got the mucus there, and the mucus because it's dirty. Shaytan likes to stay there. If the heart has got the vicar of Allah, and you'll stay there, clear from Hades clear from various bodies. And what happens in here in here, if you've had that, then suddenly what happens is because the sins inside the house shaytan makes one break up with another over little things, but over Little things like

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hundreds and hundreds and 1000s of families out there broken up. Common breakup What is it? Oh, I don't know. We don't talk to them anymore. But do you talk to them anymore?

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Because they invited people for wedding. They didn't invite us.

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Are you that hungry? My friend?

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goose Hi, well, I

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just have a bit of meat you die. Seriously, they probably got forgot them by just chance you forgot them to give them a card. It's like I'm not talking to them and their family split up. Or sometimes it's like, you know, he didn't respect me. How can we never respected you? Because Because he's supposed to. He's supposed to come inside the house here. And he's supposed to wait, he does this seriously. He came inside the house here. And I came into the house a little bit late. He knew I was coming here. But he ate the deal. Dinner. He started eating before me. I'm not sure how long like my house seems to people like the family is like everyone has to

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get

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by bicep is coming. We just wait for myself.

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I'm stopping moving.

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Because there's gonna be a big blow up.

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When I come to these small things, you tell me how did these things creep in?

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Little things. And then the bigger ones. I'm going to give you bigger ones. Yeah, they will things they break up make up. What is it? Oh, people start getting lazy.

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People start getting lazy. People tell others you know in their head has gone do this for me says no, I'm not gonna do that for you. Then attention stop. Somebody sending more than he should send inside. They're all sitting when somebody says more than he should send. And he goes on and he they know he's got a he's got a girlfriend.

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And then the one brother starts to tell him he goes Hey, what are you doing? You know, you know, you're messing around his thing he telling me you did his own? were you telling me for another vaccine for people that you are but you at least I was like, you know, going off for Mongolian. You're going after a number maliwan

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What's the difference? Big difference? Mom and Dad are not gonna like you. And then there's tensions those tensions are start slow. Things seem like what? Hey, we need to send some money to Bangladesh. Yeah, okay. Just send me that now we need you to give us money to send Bangladesh. Over that they'll start friction starts. Over time. You know what happens? People can't stand each other inside the house. The car. Because Baraka is not there, blessing is not there. These are the basic things I'm telling you. Koran is not their tilava is not their saliva. Because you know, when you have Salah tilaka, your heart becomes soft. When it's soft, there's no jealousy. When it's soft. There's no

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room for Kippur for arrogance, or the little of little room for arrogance, there's more sub, there's more patience. All these things have an effect. If the Tina coming continuously inside the house, if there's dirt on top, that's a dirt I don't mean physical death. I'm talking about dirt inside one's own mind. Because the filth you watch on something that is hot on is created dirt inside the mind is created dirt on the heart. And then he creates dirt in the other member of the family. And then there's tension between the two. So I told you a bit earlier on that people have got people a shell,

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all your family members, depending on what's inside how much Eman they have, how much they have increased the man how close they are to Allah, how much taqwa of Allah of God, how much they're conscious of Allah azza wa jal inside the house outside the house, all these things will make them a person who's a beautiful person to be with. And if they don't have those things, if they've got inside them kibbled arrogance if they've got jealousy, if they've got malice, if they've got hatred, if they want to con people, if they want to swear, if they want to shame and put people down, if they want to cause arguments for no reason. If they're selfish, if they want to be the greatest

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inside the house, then you've got a serious problem, my friend,

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that same shell, even though they might be beautiful outside.

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I remember my chef he said to Allah, He came to this country from Bangladesh

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and we walked went through London and so on, we went to Central London.

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And of course when you go through you see all these people different different people here you go through the tubes that come to the tube

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as the first time is experienced any of this. So what do you see? You see people they are dressed smartly. They've got su boo. Yeah. Nice and iron and everything which is really good. And they've got a nice clean you know, face. Slick hair. Yeah, the walking with a briefcase or whatever. And of course in the morning, the most important thing is to take

00:30:33--> 00:30:47

spray. Okay, so what did the What did the chef say? Especially when you especially when you got people outside there who are going over the top and trying to make themselves look good. So our sisters do

00:30:48--> 00:31:05

what they do they want to light color this color this color this one differently to all of these. Sydney fashion color that one? This one? I don't know for what reason why. And it shows this one different from them. And that's purple. Yeah, there's gonna be purple lipstick matching this one.

00:31:08--> 00:31:09

It goes together brothers. You don't

00:31:11--> 00:31:13

know what to call. Yeah. What are the cola?

00:31:16--> 00:31:19

masskara Scalia put it Moscato here. Yeah.

00:31:23--> 00:31:28

Okay, get some fake eyelashes. Fake eyelashes. They're making bigger narla.

00:31:31--> 00:31:41

Okay, then they have the foundation, the foundation, then the poor lipstick, then the poor. And some other some some will have a little little thing.

00:31:43--> 00:31:49

The necklace but then they'll have another one here, which is like a bracelet but a small one. And have them is anchored.

00:31:50--> 00:32:01

was the one that goes around the ankle? Yeah. So they'll have that one. Yeah. Then they'll they'll paint the the toenails. They'll grow these long.

00:32:07--> 00:32:21

Okay, fine. They do all of that which is fine, which is fine. The person does that. But then the thing is that I've got nothing against these people. Okay, no prejudice is nothing that people outside they okay. They dress in the beard like that how they are. The point is this, what's inside.

00:32:23--> 00:32:49

Inside, there is malice. There's jealousy. There's pride, personal CV, the best and the poor. all this other stuff outside which makes them look beautiful. Smell beautiful, is not beautiful. Because when you spend time with that person, you can live with that person. You can live with that person. And doesn't matter how beautiful or not beautiful they are on the outside. inside. There is love.

00:32:50--> 00:33:33

There is good human qualities. There's generosity. There's the inside there. There's the heart that wants to help you. There's a heart that that wants to join ties, not break ties. This is a beautiful person to be with. So let me tell you a scenario. You're in your house. If you've got people of a man and taqwa you know what they'll want to keep relationships with you tell me this year, in houses where people are religious, even if they have arguments they make a very easily yes or no. Yes. In houses where they are away from Allah azza wa jal, when they have an issue, even if it's a small one, they break up and they have these nasty feeling towards each other, or they just don't want to

00:33:33--> 00:33:56

stand each other Yes or no? Yes. Now what happens is then, is after a while, you walk in these houses and I just don't get it. Sometimes you walk in this house. The whole family is like, they don't operate together. Like the Father has got an issue with his his wife, the wife or gun issue with the daughter, brother and sisters got issues with each other, they walk in some and

00:33:57--> 00:34:20

some gone. I stays in his bedroom, she stays in her bedroom is like I don't want to I don't want to mix with them. And now the whole, you know, the whole sort of life has become like some people are saying right now. It's more important for you, too. Have Wi Fi in the house. Yeah. It's more important for you to have a Wi Fi in the house than a wife.

00:34:21--> 00:34:29

You might be laughing Yeah. Seriously. Some people you think about here. Most of these kids that are growing up.

00:34:31--> 00:34:40

And many of the middle aged people who are here, listen to this. You've had Wi Fi Yes, guys, you've got Wi Fi now mostly white man, guys.

00:34:42--> 00:35:00

You got a Wi Fi yes or no. People have got that immediate necessity of life, which is fine. But what do you do with that again, if he's giving you hate if he's giving you Dawa. If he's giving you taqwa, if he's giving you remembrance of Allah, then your whole Wi Fi, your house, your body. You're in

00:35:00--> 00:35:19

Inside your inside of your house, the shanty that I said and the makeup all that is there, if not, the rest is gone Rasulullah sallallahu has not taught us what when you come inside the house Allahumma Luca hiral noleggio halal maharajji Well, I ask you for the best place to come into the blessed best place to exit

00:35:20--> 00:36:01

Bismillah he Valentina, Wabi Sabi la hora de la la la Europeana, Turkana, In the name of Allah, I come into this house in the name of Allah, I will exit afterwards and on my on Allah the Lord, I depend. What is this? This is to bring Baraka inside the house, why you starting with Bismillah? My friends, these are small things that have a great effect on the family. Now, tell me what is the what are the greatest things of family breakup? Well, when people have issues, they have issues, for many reasons, most of it, most undergrad, 90 something percent of a percent of breakups has got nothing to do with Islam.

00:36:02--> 00:36:03

So let me give an example.

00:36:06--> 00:36:07

A

00:36:08--> 00:36:13

sister in law of yours comes home, Bobby, Bobby, she comes home.

00:36:15--> 00:36:15

That's her

00:36:17--> 00:36:31

mother. So sister in law, or let's say the daughter in law, and the mother in law, they both got to have one kitchen, one kingdom, two queens wanting them. Now that's what he called trouble.

00:36:32--> 00:37:09

If they're good again, if both of the mother in law and daughter in law both of them have Taqwa both of them do things for the sake of Allah. Both look at each other with the with love muhabba and so on. 100 won't be a problem. If the daughter in law makes a mistake, which is going to make a mistake because she's younger than my mother in law. She makes mistake makes a mistake in cooking makes a mistake in in scratching the cooker something if the if the mother in law follows the sooner she will, she will let it go. Let me give you a hadith and so the Allahu in the province of Allah Hartman's time in the household. He used to bring things he was a young young individual, he's

00:37:09--> 00:37:18

probably about 10 years old, eight to eight to 18 he said the prompts that allows them imagine a 10 year old boy he brings some dishes, and as his bring into the box allows and he drops one in breaks.

00:37:20--> 00:37:55

And he wanted to serve the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. And he coming he broke it. The family of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the women sometimes would say Allah, Allah is careful, we told you careful. He just broke another one. What would the prophets of Allah herdsmen say this is the Sunnah? He said, leave him for if the time of something has come to go and finish and break. It happened. If Allah has decreed that this is the moment that glass actually falls and it breaks then it's happened Allah decree has come into place. This is the way to make families together.

00:37:56--> 00:38:07

Have mercy have done Now tell me this year as the children grow up. Each time the children grow up each age they come to this new challenge inside the house.

00:38:08--> 00:38:23

And brothers and sisters are listening to this to be seen, you know Islam everybody can learn Islam no problem. Everybody can know the Quran Sunnah, no problem, but to actually mold oneself to the Quran. Sunnah is a real big challenge.

00:38:24--> 00:38:25

Let me give you an example.

00:38:27--> 00:39:07

Family members come inside the house they eat some some you know a lot of people they they they eat they eat they leave food that's wasted. Okay, you got a whole lamb chop you know lamb chop here. Whole lamb chop you supposed to eat it take it to you. Now the sooner the prompts a lot harder to miss. You take the whole piece to a tee and you take the strip it off to the teeth and you strip every part of the meat of the of the thing some people they just take the bite from the middle part the rest of it throw it away. I'm Richie Nam, sila rich Yeah, the guy took some curry or something like that was something on his plate and then he didn't like it. Title Nine

00:39:09--> 00:39:16

not gonna eat it. He will affect you in the sleep. People don't think about this. But you do they say you play a game. Yeah. Did you

00:39:17--> 00:39:24

play game counted any game you play and then go on. Go Go try and go to sleep. You see doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

00:39:27--> 00:39:30

man the guy can't go to sleep he's like he's in Call of Duty.

00:39:31--> 00:39:33

He's somewhere firing someone's firing him started done.

00:39:35--> 00:39:50

Not telling me not not telling you. You should be playing that game. Yeah. But anyway, what happens is people see this do they watch something that tried to go to sleep because mostly because it's working inside that people need to break off. I don't care how many troubles you've got the point before sleep break off.

00:39:52--> 00:40:00

Listen, and go go to the into the decoder of Allah and do a bit of the kind of elaborate cram before you go.

00:40:00--> 00:40:10

To sleep, I'm telling you, when you go to sleep, the Quran will play especially if you can't if you don't want to read it. Do this from here. Just play the Quran on your phone.

00:40:12--> 00:40:19

Here. You've played us you'll hear it you'll hear it. Well levena Gerardo Vina de

00:40:21--> 00:40:23

una y

00:40:24--> 00:40:36

la la Marina masini the colleagues are certified in starting a new switch it off rather steep in your head a la hapa when the nyjah doofy Nanana.

00:40:38--> 00:40:41

Solana why in

00:40:43--> 00:40:55

masini beautiful sad in your head. Even if you can't go to sleep is beautiful to have the sound in your head of the party, whoever is it. And if you were listening to like to be

00:41:00--> 00:41:01

you got to think on

00:41:06--> 00:41:18

your mind in other 1am I upset that said even an argument don't try and get into an argument. So you know breakups happen until one of the big breakers happen is if you can't control your tongue.

00:41:19--> 00:41:32

If you haven't learned how to control your tongue, you're in serious trouble. One of the biggest things you have to learn in the life of this earth of Islam for the good house good home good family. No breakup is you've got to put a brake on your tongue

00:41:35--> 00:41:38

sometimes you know you like heat up

00:41:41--> 00:41:55

man a 10 year you could be more Medallia this time you know? box tomorrow people don't be able to you know the tongue. Yeah, that tongue can be worse than your when your fists thrown up brothers. You don't know. Yeah.

00:41:57--> 00:42:06

If somebody hits you, yeah, if somebody pushes you, somebody can lead to you. After a while. That pain is gone.

00:42:07--> 00:42:08

But if somebody looks

00:42:09--> 00:42:10

at you, they say

00:42:11--> 00:42:12

you monkey

00:42:22--> 00:42:23

What do you want?

00:42:26--> 00:42:39

Are you thinking Why do you call monkey? Is it because of our skin color? people in general? Is it my skin color? Is it because I behaved like a monkey? Is it because I'm cheeky? Is it because he's degraded me to an animal? He thinks I'm an animal

00:42:42--> 00:42:43

chimpanzee

00:42:44--> 00:43:13

that's what happens if you can't control your tongue you're gonna lash out lash out. What is it? Do you know these lash outs? They're worse. I know hitting is bad. Don't hit the lashing out is worse. I tell you one thing here men the bad men the bad sometimes with their hands. When they get angry sometimes they want to just throw their hands up as bad guys bad don't do but you know women assistance. They got this tongue

00:43:14--> 00:43:15

which

00:43:17--> 00:43:24

the guy basically you know as I had an argument with his wife here and his wife starts she just stopped she's getting warmed up

00:43:25--> 00:43:29

hamdulillah mama do want to stay you know who want to stop?

00:43:31--> 00:43:32

She started a full hook bah bah bah

00:43:35--> 00:43:41

you That day you did this and the other day you did this and then you said this to me and then you did it to me getting warmed up.

00:43:43--> 00:43:52

So this guy yeah, he's like look, you know he's he's his tempers going up say like this. Don't say that. You know, just just just be quiet. So yeah, yeah.

00:43:55--> 00:44:01

I'm just gonna leave the kitchen. I'm gonna leave the kitchen. I'm gonna go upstairs. The guy goes all the way upstairs. He goes to the bedroom. He sits down there.

00:44:02--> 00:44:05

In comes his wife or hook back to

00:44:08--> 00:44:12

the mom system. The mom gets back up. The woman has risen again.

00:44:14--> 00:44:19

And you did this and you did that and don't remember this young man tell you she has

00:44:22--> 00:44:42

tungsten tungsten slash think his sister. You listen to me. Yeah, you want to make life better for yourself. Please, please control and the brothers know please control the tongue. And what happens is you don't want a slash slash slash slash slash. You know what happens is they don't forget it. It hurts here. When you have been hurting your heart. Yeah, you remember you remember?

00:44:43--> 00:44:53

After even a year you say your last year last year. I came upstairs to get away from you. You walked inside, and that's why you called me a monkey.

00:44:54--> 00:44:59

That's what people remember. One year ago, three years ago you said this. You did this today. They did it here.

00:45:00--> 00:45:02

Limit the tongue is really damaging.

00:45:03--> 00:45:21

And it breaks it caused a lot of hurt the thing best thing to do brother sister best thing to do if somebody is angry is walk away. If upstairs doesn't help downstairs and help get out the house just walk out the house. Seriously for the brothers best place. Best place for you to get away Come to the masjid

00:45:22--> 00:45:32

seriously, I've met brothers like that. You meet a brother inside the masjid like that guy normally is not there for Salah you see him again you see him again and again you got to the BB proper case

00:45:34--> 00:45:35

there was my brother

00:45:36--> 00:46:22

I'm finding a lot of peace here a lot of peace. So Bravo was was a matter of where you're not finding peace. He goes, he goes my house. I walk inside there. Here I want to walk back out. But I haven't lived in the end. Obviously somebody comes down it's good. The brother needs to walk out the system is to walk out get away from each other because the thing is when your temper goes down you won't be saying the same words again. Yes or no guys? Even the next day you think law I call him a monkey man. Whoa, he got to the other meaning didn't mean to call you monkeys or demean us can take time to forgive. It takes time to rub all that off. And after a while you know you still got that in

00:46:22--> 00:46:56

your heart like he was so rude to me so rude. And people when they get angry they just can't think sometimes what they're saying what they're doing and later on they regret it but it doesn't help you've got a real bad problem you need to saw yourself anger management man or woman so your anger management are sorted out. Hema Hamad bin Hamad Rahim Allah His wife passed away they had a 40 year marriage 40 year marriage. And he said he cried and he said by Allah, me and my wife for 40 years, we never had a single argument. Say Allahu

00:46:57--> 00:47:04

Allahu Akbar. Which man he has been married more than one year and couldn't can put his hand up. He's never had a an argument with his wife. 300. Gone.

00:47:06--> 00:47:08

How many of you have married for your hands up?

00:47:09--> 00:47:10

For no mighty?

00:47:11--> 00:47:13

Man, please, please.

00:47:14--> 00:47:18

I think we need to turn the camera here so sisters can see which of the other I'm joking.

00:47:20--> 00:47:25

The see the guy sitting next to him. Yeah, he's not putting his hand up.

00:47:27--> 00:47:57

What I'm trying to say to you guys, is that not none of you can put your hands up even I can't put my hand up. How did you do it? He said, he said when my wife used to get angry with me. He said, I took it upon myself to stay quiet to keep my mouth shut. The matter how much she was she was insinuating me how much she was making me angry. I took it upon myself to stay quiet. And to not say single word Not a single another takes guts brothers. Not a single word.

00:48:01--> 00:48:40

Until she calmed down. And when she calmed down, then I talked to her nicely about the matter. And when I got angry with my wife, and I was saying things to her that would flare her up. My wife took it upon herself, to stay quiet not to say a single word to me until I come down. And then we talk nicely about the matter. So bahala now if you go home brothers, this is the way to stop these breakups happening. Because first is that, you know, when somebody has said a hurtful thing, it's like a knife going straight to the heart, the person will remember. You can forgive it, but you can't forget it.

00:48:41--> 00:49:21

Remember, when you said your words, and they've heard someone, they can forgive you? But they can't forget it. It's almost impossible for them to forget, even if they you know, years later, they still know that maybe they haven't got an issue with you. But they won't. They won't necessarily Forget it. Now, if you have got in the household, you've got people who are not on the dean, what do you do? You have to give Dawa and Dawa is all the time. Don't think that was on the streets, brothers, all brothers. Some people get really excited to want to do our southern streets want to get brothers into the deep brothers into deep when their whole family are part of the family is going away from

00:49:21--> 00:49:23

the dean and they're not doing anything about it wrong.

00:49:24--> 00:49:42

I don't care who you are, you've got a responsibility in the house as well as outside the house. Now, how do you give Dawa to your family? This is really difficult to give our two families You know why? Because they know your past. They know your history. So when you come and preach them say tweakui

00:49:46--> 00:49:52

Moto Z. Now Who are you? You're talking? You looked at your history

00:49:53--> 00:49:59

or history. Tell him he says difficult by way you do. You still gotta invite them Sahaba of the illawarra

00:50:00--> 00:50:37

Many of them had had histories they didn't want to discuss is a true case. Many of them have histories. They did things in the early days, they don't want to talk about but they still when they became good, they start to bring their families to the dean. Now when you get down to your family, you've got to be very gentle. And you got to do it in a way that they will it will be acceptable. Don't give Dawa to your family just as you would give it to any other organization anything outside they don't just come up to your brother and just say, Boy, you know if you don't pray Yeah, yeah, I just heard this had this idea. It's a wonderful Hadith even though it says the one he says yeah, if

00:50:37--> 00:50:37

you don't pray you go to bed

00:50:40--> 00:50:51

last night, you know, one thing is that you give people straight Hades or Anunnaki on them in us wrong anyway second thing is if you condemn them to Hellfire whatever, forget it, you've lost it.

00:50:53--> 00:51:32

You're not pro gently you want to tell them you know my brother No, come let's let's experience something let's just pray you you know Allah will make it connect you you make a connection with Allah and that connection will bring you good things if it doesn't work try another Hadith a nice positive one brothers learn sisters learn how to bring positive positive positive caught an eye as if it doesn't work try and take them to an Islamic gathering try and share with them a YouTube talk or something that's in that that is you know that is you think they will like try and try and show that to them don't always show them what you like because minds are not the same try and even if

00:51:32--> 00:51:46

it's five minutes three minutes share it with them watch it with them a quick howdy the quick I a quick tip see the quick point sometimes another many scholars many speakers outside the YouTube is full of these speakers try and use that as a as a means of our

00:51:47--> 00:51:48

if not

00:51:49--> 00:52:22

try with your brother and your sister whoever it is try and you know find an opportunity to try and just slip in the talk of the dean in a way that will be that will be like acceptable in what sense? Like for example if you take if you go out with them for dinner they're more likely to accept your data What did you say if I said I'm do use if I said I'm inside the prison he chose to give Darwin two gentlemen came to him with two dreams

00:52:23--> 00:52:27

in the prison Now usually Sam is innocent but these two one of them is a criminal.

00:52:29--> 00:53:06

And he said the before the food comes I will give you your interpretation but listen to me for a little while. A few words if you look into a few words, he just dropped the DA and then he told him interpretation of the dream What does that mean? That means your brother your sister might need you at some point all brothers and sisters need each other so when they meet you say brother I'm just about to help you but you listen to me at this moment. I'm just gonna talk to you for three minutes for four minutes for five minutes then drop the doubt because they need you they will stay there they will listen to you right Try not to become the big the big brother of the house. Yeah the bossy

00:53:06--> 00:53:07

brother The boss is that

00:53:08--> 00:53:11

you're not praying you know what happens when you don't pray

00:53:12--> 00:53:13

you know like

00:53:15--> 00:53:21

I'm being I'm telling you you know and you sister you know your job Your job is still not right yet because when you go out they don't

00:53:24--> 00:53:26

stop pointing fingers when somebody like him down the line

00:53:29--> 00:53:49

way pointing ledges keep me calm and you know like you know someone bigger than them you don't know who will go the agenda first. Talk to them nicely invite them nicely and when you when you become the Big Brother You know what happens you know your your voice you know sometimes in the house people saying Hey, have you pray? Sometimes the parents will say No, I was

00:53:52--> 00:53:53

just another sound

00:53:54--> 00:53:57

it'll go off after a while the fridge he comes on isn't it?

00:54:02--> 00:54:04

You know, he expected every every hour.

00:54:07--> 00:54:09

Gone. Just like that.

00:54:13--> 00:54:50

You got to engage people bring them in in a way that is that is acceptable. That is nice to them. They you don't want to force them but you want to invite them now. If somebody is doing heroin in your house, give them an alternative or halaal tell them the benefits of it. Go through it. And if you can't, let's say for example, you you tried and you failed. Try another day. Don't give up try another time trying a different way. Trying to get your other brother to help the mother sister if it doesn't work with the family members. Try and get someone from outside maybe his friend, your brother's friend, your brother, sometimes your sister sometimes more likely to listen to their

00:54:50--> 00:54:59

friend than you yes or no. So if you know they're practicing, or if you know they've got something good is something about them try and tell them to reach out to them. But the thing is brothers and sisters

00:55:00--> 00:55:08

Don't stop Darwin. If you stop Darwin Darwin's inviting them if you stop that you bring the Lana the curse of a larger house.

00:55:09--> 00:55:27

This is from Buhari. This is from the Quran. This is from the Sunnah, that if you carry on giving $1 if somebody is not praying in your house as long as you continuously now and again, we're not saying every single day, you got to be in the face. We're not saying that now. And again, you can even give him reminders as fine. The learner the curse won't come down.

00:55:28--> 00:55:43

But if you stop, nobody's given down. Nobody's telling anybody to do good. Nobody's preventing anybody in the house from evil. You know what happens? Alice Lana will come down. Lorena Latina kefalonian, bunny sobre la Alison

00:55:45--> 00:55:51

70 mobium. They're liquid in our house. So what can you do? Can you lie your

00:55:52--> 00:56:09

carrying value? Allah says the reason why some of these people were cut in the past is because they stopped telling other people to stop evil. The guys doing evil first, they said a few times after they just said, Forget it is not listening. So forget I went in. So often times are finished.

00:56:10--> 00:56:42

That's when you have now become the same as them. So you've got to, you've got to carry on the data as sometimes not simple. All right, I'm going to open up in a little while to q&a, because I know some of you will have some questions. But what I want to say to you brothers is that, you know, some people they say that, you know, let me go a bit outside of the house. Now sometimes the issue is now about extended relatives, your extended relatives, your uncle's, your aunts, their sons and so on. Sometimes the trouble is there, the breakup of the family is there. Now these are some serious ones that take place.

00:56:44--> 00:57:33

My friends, if somebody has broken up with you from a family member, it is fall on you to keep the ties otherwise you will be cursed. You have to make your thing to keep your ties. What does that mean? That means if somebody is breaking up with you blood relationship, somebody's blood related to us breaking up from you. You have to still keep tight. Just still talk to them, even if it's Sam and just a few words. Just do that. Don't break up. Why? There's a hadith in Bukhari, but when Allah created Rahim, which is keeping ties, Allah created it. Then the Rahim the thing of making ties or breaking ties, or the womb, however you want to put it, it's set to a license Allah I'm in a

00:57:33--> 00:58:20

position of what I want to ask you something and I want you to give it to me and Allah said, Are you not satisfied? Man was Allah ke Wassall to woman Tata Aki Tata to Allah azza wa jal says, in a hadith of Pudsey in Buhari, he says, Are you not pleased? Or is intimidating as well? These words probably irritate me is that are you not pleased that whosoever will make ties through you through the womb, I will keep my ties with them. And whoever will break ties through you, I break my ties with them. And he says, The fastest punishment of Allah to come from the skies to the earth is on the one who breaks his ties with his family members. The fastest, fastest punishment to come

00:58:20--> 00:58:30

straight onto the earth is one who breaks ties. Now, some of you I know, you might think, whoa, whoa, whoa, man. You know, I've got to talk to the Auntie of mine, man. No, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:58:31--> 00:58:50

And he's got beef, you know, serious beef. You can make a good few kebabs or beef. You know what it is brothers, even if it's anti, even if his big sister even somebody else here, when somebody came to the Prophet sallallahu or something, and he said, let's have a lie. He said, I he goes, he said that

00:58:52--> 00:59:27

they break ties with me, and I still try and keep ties with them. But they keep on trying to break up with me. And the Prophet sallallahu. At that moment, he said, he said, This is what silica means. This is what making ties is that when someone's trying to break you, with you still trying to keep you and he told the person that they are on the hook on the truth or something along those lines, that they are in the right, but what can you do there are some people like that you try and make it up with them. They want to break it with you for for simple, silly reasons. Now, you've got to do your best as a good Muslim to keep the ties because you don't want to be in a position where Allah

00:59:27--> 00:59:43

Subhana Allah curse is coming towards you. So now with extended families, sometimes this happens here. Your uncle is not talking to your dad and because of that your uncle doesn't want his children to talk to you. I first cousins as Batman, one of the children

00:59:44--> 00:59:59

of the children done and because of this generation grows up hating each other. That's bad. And what will happen in the end is that these people they're responsible for what is happening, you know, in the in the houses and what they're doing. So what do you do my brothers, my brothers, my sisters to follow Islam

01:00:00--> 01:00:11

Remember that you need to, we need to all embrace as much of this time as we can. And when these people, they, they if someone is horrible to you, because Don't get me wrong here, there are some people you'd rather not be with,

01:00:12--> 01:00:49

than to be with. Let me give an example. You go to a household to one of your relatives houses. If you take your children to the house, your children come back with less Islam inside their lives. They're just gone into a house where there's no rules and regulations. And because of that your children have come back to your house like messed up slightly, what do you do? Well, you still got to keep your ties, but you don't have to keep your children there for long. Well, you don't have to keep keep taking your children frequently. You don't have to. You can make it less you can. It's up to you how you do it. All right. But look, such a house where Islam is not there, don't make that

01:00:49--> 01:01:23

you frequent place of going because you'll be affected by it. Unless you go in there to try and make them come to this time, that's fine, then you should go frequently because you want the goodness of yourself to influence them influence that family influence that relative Alhamdulillah but if it's the other way, they're influencing you more every time you go there, then cut down this is the golden rule. The Golden Rule can increase your Eman but you got to understand when you children when your brother or sister and yourself you can go to certain houses within two three years they become complete different individuals because of the associates that you have. So anyway, we've got about

01:01:23--> 01:01:25

15 minutes I'm going to open to q&a

01:01:26--> 01:01:33

if I decide not to answer your question for any reason because this is live being broadcast live via David Cameron's listen to this you know I'm saying like brothers

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Allah David You're right.

01:01:37--> 01:01:39

We call you dad would come on.

01:01:40--> 01:01:59

Anyway, Mr. Cameron is listen to this and all the rest of them I listen to this so that's why I don't answer it and I don't answer it yet. Sometimes you can answer the answer. That's one second the climate and the sun. No, you got Dave is rainy. You are rainy, cold. If it's sunny, you you know you wear a T shirt in science. If your question to come that is rainy. I'm just going to

01:02:00--> 01:02:15

take you back. So put your hands up if you've got a question. I'm sure you've got a question after such a, you know, topic that involves so many different factions of your life, your house, your family members? Show you've got a question Put your hands up. I'll take the question straight up. Yes.

01:02:19--> 01:02:56

Okay, what a waste of giving Dawa to your parents. Now that's not an easy one. That starts tough one, but you still need to give it a Brian Melissa lamb gave out his father in the Quran is Dale how he very, very nicely talk to his father. It didn't help as in he didn't change his father, but he had to do his job, and you have to do your job. So you have to tell him in the nicest way, tell him privately tell him where they won't get embarrassed television. You know, tell him in a place in a time when you talk to them softly and gently put all the adab and respect and everything before you talk to them in a nice gentle tone. And tell them for that because you love them. You're telling

01:02:56--> 01:03:38

them these few words. Yeah, and just keep it short and give them the message. See what Islam has told us is we have to convey a clear message well Malaika lol Bella will mean you have to convey a clear message. Islam has not told me and you to bring guidance to family members to bring guidance to make someone guided that's our last job since then. So giving Dawa and calling someone towards you know, good pathway is my job is your job to convey the message clearly is your job, my job. But to make them practice Islam is Allah signal. I've seen brothers do this yet. They come to me in the masjid and say hi, they say, Man, you know, man, say what was going on said, Man, you know, you

01:03:38--> 01:04:14

know, parents are not praying, you know? Or like someone else is not praying. And so I said, How long have you been praying for? So he goes, I've been praying for four years now. So you've been praying for four years? Yeah, the guy's probably about you know, say something. You've been praying for four years. Yeah. I said you know five years ago yeah, let's just talk about a year before you start praying five years ago if somebody came to you and said to you nicely with a nice tone said to you, rather you know, I think you know if you pray da be so nice for you. You know, you'd you'd be earning your Acura you'd be nice and this person came to you with a nice heavy the positive thing

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and totally pray, would you pray? He said no.

01:04:18--> 01:04:52

I said would you just like just respectfully stand and just listen to him for a bit but just like ignore it said yes. I said, Well, your family I knew the same place you were you were five years ago. Now you have to understand it from their perspective, then then someone translate you gotta if your parents are not listening to what Islam is, if your brothers and sisters not doing it, you have to understand it from their perspective. Not from yours, you're not practicing. You can easily see how good Salah is and how good this is how good halaal businesses but they can't see they're not there yet. So you have to slowly slowly bring them in. You have to think back the years when you are

01:04:52--> 01:04:59

practicing how you would have liked to be approached what kind of ways would you would would make someone make you pray what what kind of things would actually

01:05:00--> 01:05:09

To say to you for you to accept, you know, the good way of life. So you've got to put yourself in a position but you just got to try and different ways in shaba Yes. Just touch upon the

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consequences and what

01:05:14--> 01:05:53

effects? Well I've said it I've said that the actual effects is that if you breaks up, if you don't try and keep it going, then you know the line of allowed command is involved in kids for example, if you if you talk about marital things, right if that's if that's the idea talking about it, that's a whole nother whole ban on that. The microphones here and I've said part of it, which is the tongue tongue and you know, the household the way you live in whether Islam is there or not, you know, it has effects. Now, this is a good question the man has said which is, which is about kids out there, they get affected really badly when parents are not, you know, if parents arguing, if parents are

01:05:53--> 01:06:27

not close together, a parents have got issues, the kids in between, they're having rough and tough. I'm dealing with several cases at the moment, several cases of the moment where things are going on where you know, it's going towards a divorce is going towards a near divorce something it's serious. What happens is the kids suffer in between. and you think about it on the Day of Judgment, those kids when they grow up, I don't know what they're going to be and how far or how close they will be to Islam, but you might be responsible, because of the way you dealt with them. And put it put it straight brothers there. If you've got an issue with your wife, or if you've got an issue sister

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with your husband. Yeah. The issue is nothing more than what you made out of it. Let me give an example. Yeah, this professor what he did is he came he came to the lesson lecture. And he

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he held a glass of water.

01:06:44--> 01:06:45

And he said

01:06:46--> 01:06:50

he said How heavy is this roughly? I agree with this this

01:06:53--> 01:06:54

con guys

01:06:55--> 01:07:36

if you were to say that I've got some certain amount of kg that I'm actually holding. It's not one kg is in grams here. Probably I was 50 grams. Yeah, but 50 grams right now to lift 50 grams or 100 grams. Is there any is the Will you actually make your make your body feel like it's in pain if you lift that yes or no? No simple use lifter 50 100 grams. Now there's no pain there. But it still is effort. There is effort days in there. Now watch this. What the professor did is he said if I now hold this verities for hold it and hold it and hold it let's say a minute is gone by two minutes have gone by what's gonna happen now?

01:07:37--> 01:07:43

This gets heavier, this feels heavier. Weight is the same. Where's that? Where am I thinking that is heavy.

01:07:45--> 01:08:25

Because my arm is now up for one or two minutes or sisters are here though. So while I'm in trouble, man, joking. If you've got it Look, look if I'm here for so long. Yeah, the pain the muscles will actually make it make this feel heavier. Now got pain. Now what does the professor say? He said that when you got bit of stress in your mind, your husband or your wife is doing something you don't like if you just like try to deal with it, and then you just let go like no, this is definitely a let go. It's fine. But if you hold it if you hold it in your mind is bugging is bugging is bugging is bugging you,

01:08:32--> 01:08:39

you know this is gonna Seriously, this is gonna be heavy. I'm not saying stress is gonna make you like all day long, I'm gonna get back to

01:08:40--> 01:08:41

you call me monkey.

01:08:44--> 01:09:11

It's gonna, it's gonna bug you so much that you caused yourself more damage than what the damage is. The damage was This is nothing. He just lifted it and put it back down. You had your stress, you just let go of your finished gun. damage is when you hold on to it and you dwell on it. Now the damage is here. It's outside of the actual stress itself. You created further stress all the way over here. When he was just here. You create your whole body to get you know, to become very sort of

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feeling like you're in your own prison. Just because you held on to what you had.

01:09:21--> 01:09:37

Okay, so anyway, just quickly finish up what your mama said look, the the effects of you are going to be if it's a marital thing, like even if it's not children involved, people's hearts are broken. And if you want to look if you want to make things work, you can make it work.

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Yeah, guys, I'm gonna ask you to do one thing here. Can you all smile?

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Guys, can you all smile? All of your smile? Some brothers not smiling.

01:09:51--> 01:09:57

The muscles are Hey, guys, can I ask again? Can you hold the smile? Congrats guys.

01:10:03--> 01:10:21

You know I'm asking to smell some brothers have forgotten some sisters have forgotten yeah because of the problems of God that forgotten how to look smarter sooner you come in the house even he attention problem just walk in just do this year is gone your house today with the person just smile. Don't freak him out, ya

01:10:25--> 01:10:39

know generally smile, say please forgive me, embrace them, hug them your family member hug them embrace them and say look, just forgive me. You know why? I had a husband and wife come to me this Thursday.

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And they came to me because there's a marital problem now I don't like to deal with this. So please, I don't want to hold people outside that Yeah, I Morocco, Morocco, Morocco.

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So what happened is the Thursday at a husband and wife come to me and this is just last Thursday. And they've had some problems for some time. So I said, Okay, I'll sit with us you see what we can do. So all these are always start, you know, trying to make it up. I said to the husband, can you name three things that are good about your wife you like? And I said to the wife, can you name the three things that you like about your husband?

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And he said they said

01:11:22--> 01:11:23

she's like

01:11:29--> 01:11:31

three things and last adventure one

01:11:34--> 01:11:35

sister Sister mentioned like

01:11:36--> 01:11:46

I said, Are you trying to tell me out of one to 100 you have got 0% of likeness towards him and 0% towards her

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above them to zero.

01:11:50--> 01:11:59

So Hannah bathrooms is zero set. Okay? So that means they're the maker May Allah forbid this as an elephant with this. So that means if you brother

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This is listen to this year. I said you brother tomorrow morning May God forbid, tomorrow morning. It's you know a father time you don't wake up. It was a last night. You're dead on your bed.

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The sister sister told me they say are you going to be happy tomorrow morning? Tomorrow morning. God forbid your husband doesn't get up from bed. You're going to be happy? She said no.

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I said to the brothers tomorrow morning, your wife, the wife of three kids doesn't get up from her bed. And she's dead. That was the last last night. Are you going to be happy? said no. I said then.

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Why? Because if you got zero if I got zero the only one I got zero love for

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is true, isn't it? Come on, guys. Be honest with you. Even you guys, some of you have never met you. But I love you because your mama cymbala is true, isn't it?

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Listen, it's not easy. It's like an enemy. An enemy would be zero, right? This is zero to one and then they then they came to the senses. I said, I said, Brother, what do you like about what he said? Well, you know, she looks after my children.

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A sister told me Well, he does give me a few things.

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That I started to let them you know, why did I start talking to them? And then I made them smile.

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Am I both from smile? And the problem they haven't smiled at each other for about a year. Since I'm not joking. They haven't smiled at each other for about a year. Every time they see each other year is like

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each of them preparing how many guns on the police.

01:13:43--> 01:13:44

Shoot.

01:13:46--> 01:13:51

You did this you know like Why? Every time they see each other they they argue.

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Now what caused this ammo causes them is within them. I made him smile. I made them look, I said Look, let go, let go.

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Can you can you let go? I said call him brace yourself. Go home. Come talk to each other nicely.

01:14:08--> 01:14:16

You know what, what did you do? When he's blaming her? She's begging him. He's like he's saying 100% her fault. She said

01:14:18--> 01:14:22

his fault. I said, Listen, 5050 5050

01:14:24--> 01:14:39

a few and half you you cause half the problems and you cause half the problems. Don't say it's 100% 100% this is what happens with families. They get to a stage where it's like no way I can let it go. And the problem is they can't let it go. The problem is they just can't put it down.

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If you want to if you want to choose to stop something, honestly somebody that you're not getting out, just go after them. Just Just shake their hand. Just give them a hug and just say, you know, forgive me Forgive me for a loss of blessing. Just forgive me. I went to a talk I heard this. I had a lot of a lot comes down if you don't make up with people who are linked to you and close to you. I just decided

01:15:00--> 01:15:18

That I'm gonna make up what the Prophet salallahu has been tell us he told us that he said three nights. Three days three nights is maximum when you can hold a grudge with someone you're not speaking to. Three days, three nights one brother turned up here. One sister turned up five months ago to me. You know what? They haven't even slept in the same bedroom for five months.

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Not a joke, man. He's up there in a single bed. She's in a double bed. Whatever he got his own single bed is sitting separate. They haven't even come together for five months, Yala for a while for some petty arguments they had over finance, who's gonna get the money in the house tensions are running. You know what? Because they put too much on themselves. Yeah. Because the she's got tuition, extra tuition. She's doing the kids you got running in and out. She's working. She's working part time. The guys work into seven eight he comes home. He's got stress from work. The contract says five o'clock but he has to leave the office at about six 630 is stress. So he comes

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home. The worst thing to do is you've got stress at work. Don't bring it home.

01:15:58--> 01:16:04

Don't bring it home. your lovely wife or your loved the husband has not done anything to you. It was Michael

01:16:07--> 01:16:08

is Michael.

01:16:09--> 01:16:23

So you go and have your beef with Michael Yeah. But your lovely wife You love your husband hasn't done anything. So when you come home, even if you're stressed, just try and smile. Just try and look at them with mercy because they did no wrong to you. Okay.

01:16:24--> 01:16:27

Is it okay for us to carry on a little bit? Yes.

01:16:28--> 01:16:28

So,

01:16:29--> 01:16:48

if you read if you read Quran as much as you can as toughest in the Quran is still not going in your heart. What should you do? Look if you can't memorize it, some people just generally can't memorize it but like Imam Shafi Rahim Allah when he asked you to study stay away from sins if you stay away from sins, then your memory power will increase naturally. That's just one thing.

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Mothers in the house father does too But father does not contribute to maintaining the house children have started to earn should should should they help the mother you use your house the children are there to you and you know this decision you make do I don't want to say to you right now children should help help you and then he was expecting you to spend you know pay certain bills. I don't know what's going on your house and there's going to be another you know, imagine you go home and said mess up your house on fire shadow

01:17:24--> 01:17:27

shake him said you are given give me money now I'ma get into this your

01:17:31--> 01:18:15

mother, very elderly daughter wants to support help mother but her husband and doesn't want you to what should you do? look a lot of these troubles here is because let me tell you about problem. You know, any problem? Any problem you've got is between expectation and reality. Now watch this again. Here's the problem. Yeah, there's expectation. And there's reality problem is always between the two. Right? So either you get what you expected, and it's not a problem anymore. Right? Or you couldn't get what you expected. You just can't get there. So what should you do? You should accept reality. So what does that mean? That means look inside the house, if you expected your family or

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your life to be in certain way and it's not an expecting expecting you will be frustrated if you get what you want. Alhamdulillah but if you don't just accept that's the way things are. Just accept that you know, that's the way your wife is just accept the way your husband is. That's the way your father is. That's what your father in law is and so on. Okay.

01:18:35--> 01:18:36

Okay, so

01:18:37--> 01:18:38

is that his

01:18:40--> 01:18:40

uncle's angry

01:18:42--> 01:18:43

Okay.

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Let me Allah bless all of us and bless you. Bless me inshallah. Okay.