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Falling behind in life Holistic Health and Wellbeing

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Haleh Banani

Channel: Haleh Banani

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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If you feel like you're falling behind in life, you've got to watch this, I'm going to give you two powerful tips to apply so that you can embrace what is happening in your life right now. Inshallah, you know, there are many people who complain about feeling that they're behind whether it could be about their life, maybe they're not married yet all their friends are married, they haven't had kids, they feel like they're behind in, you know, in from what the social aspects of what is acceptable, and some are very feeling behind. As far as their education. They didn't go to maybe they didn't finish college, maybe they feel behind regarding their business or things that they

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wanted to do. So when you have that feeling that you're constantly behind, it's a horrible feeling. You start comparing yourself and you feel this pressure, this intense pressure. So what do you do? What do you do when you're feeling like you are behind, there are two things that I want you to do. Number one, is that you need to embrace the detours in your life. How many times have you taken a path, let's say you were on your way, you're doing a road trip, and you took the wrong turn. And what happens you end up seeing such beauty, you would have seen things that like you would have never seen these things. And I it's really important in life to realize that sometimes when you have

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the detours in your life, those detours are actually meant for you. And it's you got to embrace it. Rather than feeling upset. Let's say you your marriage gets delayed. Whether it is you're not getting into let's say med school, you wanted to go to med school and you don't get in and there's a delay, or that you have to take a gap year, sometimes things like that happen. And people get so down on themselves because they're like, oh my god, I'm not on the on the timeline, something went wrong. And then they feel horrible. But when you embrace that, you embrace the detours, it makes such a difference. I remember once we were in doing a family road trip in Spain, and we happen to

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take the wrong turn. And we saw the most beautiful country road. And it was like, wow, we wouldn't have ever seen this. And sometimes in our lives. That is what's happening. We take a detour, but it is meant for us. And it's so important to realize that in those decisions that we make, right, we made the best decision with the knowledge that we had. So I want you to feel that you trust trust the timing in your life. First of all, trust the timing, many people will feel like you know, I should have been married by now I should have gotten a job, I should have made this much money. But you really need to trust that timing. What is it that you beat yourself up? What is it? Is it about

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your career? Is it about education? Is that your family? Or what is it because if you start sharing, you see that so many people have that same, that same pressure and that same tension in their life. So when you trust that it's happening in the best way, and you made the best decision, you know, some people will say like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I should have pursued my education. Why? Why did I get married right after school, or someone would say, you know, I should have gotten married, I shouldn't have been so focused on my education. So I would have gotten married, I would have had kids by now. So I want you to recognize that you made the best decision that you could have at the

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time with with the circumstances. And everything that you go through everything that you're going through, there is a reason for it. There's something that you needed to learn. And when we really surrender to that, and when we believe that everything happens for a reason, then we're not going to be so upset, we're not going to be so frustrated with ourselves. Okay, so number one, is what it is embrace the detours in your life. Don't beat yourself up about it. The second thing is stop comparing. I know how hard it is. But you need to stop comparing because what is said is that comparing is the thief of joy. It steals you It robs you of any happiness, any joy because you feel

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like oh my gosh, I'm not. I'm not as as good. I'm not as smart. I'm not as accomplished. And this can really take you down. How many of you have experienced that where you feel that maybe you're not, you're not doing as much I don't have as many kids as I should be? I didn't do you know, I didn't finish my education and that feeling will totally take you down. So when you stop comparing, that is when you can focus yourself, you know what I compare myself to I compare myself to my path. I compare myself I just want to be better than I was yesterday. I want to be better than I was last year. And when you're committed to competing with your own self, your own abilities. There's no end

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matassa T in your heart, you're not jealous of other people, there's not this feeling of like, I want to tear other people down like that is just nonsense. It really is childish to have to have all of that feeling inside. But when you're trying to be your absolute best, and you're striving to be better than you were before, then that is what's healthy. And you can really start instilling that because what you need to do is put blinders, okay, put blinders and be focused on what it is that you're doing. Because if you're constantly looking right, looking left, what is she doing? What is he doing, and that can actually instill a lot of anxiety, right, there's a lot of anxiety. And, you

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know, before, we were only, let's say, competing amongst the people in our class, in our workplace, in our circle of friends, now, it's opened up and you're exposed to so much and, and that's why there's such a rise in depression, such a rise in anxiety, because you are just seeing it all and putting yourself in this in this very unfair comparison. So focus on yourself, instead of competing, instead of comparing, just focus on being your absolute best. And when that when you make that commitment, and you're genuine, you're committed to pleasing a lot, you're committed to being your best. And what's gonna come out of it is just goodness and Baraka, right? Because when when a person

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gets caught up with this comparison, and they're trying to outdo another person, and they're keeping track, and they're doing all of this stuff, it really, it's like a disease of the heart, right? If a person has a disease heart, it's going to start showing it's going to show in the way they behave, it's going to show in everything that they do. And so our main objective is to first of all, we want to purify our heart, we want all the things that we do we want it to count, right? What's the point? Can you imagine, let's say you're doing a dissertation, and you work so hard, and you give up so much of your time, so much of your energy, you're doing all of this, and then imagine that it

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doesn't count, right? Imagine if it doesn't count. And for us, the the way it counts is to have that sincerity, that we're doing it for the right reason that we're doing it with that with, it's not about outdoing anyone else it's about, I want to do this, I want to please Allah, and I want to be my best. And that is what's going to make the difference. So try your best. And also another pointer as far as like the not comparing, do a little bit of a digital detox, do a little social media. Spring Cleaning is what I call it right? There are some people that may just trigger you. They may, you know, either they're very negative, or either maybe you compare yourself to them. And every time

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you see them, you get that feeling of like the comparison, oh, I would be Hi. And I didn't do this. I didn't do that. And if that's happening, and this is what I hear from my clients, they tell me on a regular basis that this eats them up. So just put them on, put them on mute, what is it the snooze, you snooze them for a month, try it. I cannot tell you how effective it is. Right? Because that way, you're not being bothered, you're not being triggered. You're only exposing yourself to things that make you feel good, that motivate you, there's no need to have these people in your life where you're, you know, making these comparisons and then the end and you get down on yourself.

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Okay, so two ways, what were they what was the first one, the first one was that you have to embrace the detours if something has gone wrong, if something was not even wrong, something has changed, your plans did not go as you would expect the delay in marriage delay in studies, you didn't get the job, you didn't go to medical school, whatever it is, embrace it, because there's some wisdom behind it. And when you embrace and you're not mad and you're not angry or frustrated, then you're going to be able to make the most out of it. Then the second thing is stop comparing you guys there's nothing good comes out of comparison, compare to yourself, compare to your past, compare yourself to how you

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want to be a better version of yourself. When you do that. You're going to be so pumped, there's no negativity, there's no jealousy, there's nothing but like just this excitement, excitement and I really attribute this feeling to the leadership training. I got 10 years a decade of leadership training and hamdulillah from the best of the best and that has taught me to just compete with myself and you're only in favor of yourself a true leader does not feel animosity towards the other people in the same field. It true leader does not want to take anyone down a true leader wants everyone to succeed and be happy and that is what you know, not only in leadership but also with our

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human right having true human means that we want for our brother or sister what we want for ourselves. So if you want

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to improve yourself in this and you want to be the best version of yourself, I would really encourage you to be part of my mentorship program. I have the mindful Hearts Academy, which really teaches you about leadership and teaches you about being the best, and about achieving your goals. And one of the things I said on there, it was last week and I said, You know what, don't feel behind in this course, feel that you are you joined at just the right time because everything happens in our life at the perfect timing, because Allah has set it up. So if you want that extra motivation, if you want the step by step approach, join the mentorship program, made it extremely affordable,

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and you're going to get the support that you need go to holla banani.com. Under courses, it is the mindful Hearts Academy. If you have any questions about, you know, feeling behind and what to do as far as like not comparing what do you find is harder for you? Is it? Is it the comparing? Or is it the fact that you can't embrace your divorce, which one is more difficult for you because I find that with a lot of my clients, they find it very hard, especially if they have any kind of detour if they feel like you know, this is I plan my life and it's not turning out according to my schedule. And you have to realize you make the DUA you make the effort. But you know what, Allah's plan is

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perfect. And when you surrender to that, when you realize that his plan is perfect, and everything has fallen into place, the hardship, the sickness, the beginning, fired, being laid off, losing money, losing friendships, all of it is planned out with the perfect, it's orchestrated, and it's so perfect. And when you surrender to that, that's when you're going to feel your best. You're not going to beat yourself up, you're not going to be angry. And that's when you can really feel that you know what you're not behind. You're not behind in life you are exactly where you need to be. Sounds like a lot here for tuning in and make sure you join the mindful Hearts Academy if you have a

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sister, a wife, a friend that needs that extra support. We'd love to provide you with the strength and the support. Take care Salaam Alaikum