Channel: Haitham al-Haddad
How to Be a Real Man
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
Now let us move to the second main reason which is committing sins okay related to the matrimonial now what do we mean by that?
First of all I want the Nevada commanded us to want
to live with each other in a very honorable situation deal with each other in a with a goodwill D to deal with each other with love or passion with justice. This is the essence of the relationship between husband and wife. And now if we don't observe this problems come let us start with that there are many problems where the husband doesn't maintain his wife doesn't provide for her and this is a very big problem in this country I don't know why and he is not putting
putting effort to do that. And okay, this is something we know and it is the only the products of a model seven said they prioritize animals talking about the rights of women over their husband, he said what I knew at the end in Maya, Zoo ha Nima Yes, he means he should provide her food from the food that he is and she should have he should provide her with cloth from the cloth that he uses. This is the this is a slap in the mouth, this is dealing with her and justice and it is incumbent upon him to provide her even if she works. Listen to this, the husband, okay, it is his duty to provide for his wife, even if she works if if he doesn't, if he is allowing her to work, okay. Now,
this problem, the problem of maintenance,
what happens is okay, is that by nature, listen to this by nature, women, they like to see their husbands as shelters, as providers as protectors. This is the nature of women. This is the nature of females. It is true. Now this nature is being distorted a little bit, but the main principle of that nature is still there. And we're llahi brothers one time I made the complaint to me about her husband, do you know what? She said that he is soft. I don't feel that he is really a man. And that lady is a British lady. She is born here. She's not coming from out of country or from Pakistan. Because this is the nature of women. This is the nature of female she needs to feel that head
husband around her is a protector for her. Even she enjoys him being a superior to her. Don't listen to those who are trying to make it upside down and trying to influence women don't accept the superiority of the husband or have men over you. This is wrong. This is not true. The nature of women they enjoy it. Now for you and speaking to men now and the sisters on the other side. Nikki asked me Do you like to get married to a lady that look like Anna, you will never look like that you need to get to a lady that she is soft. Is that true or not? You would like to get married to a lady that she comes closer to you that she is trying to please you, etc, etc. On the other side, a woman
which she likes to get married to a woman
who looks like to get married to a man who looks like a woman. He is very soft. He is very maybe delicate person. He is not providing her the shelter that she needs. That is something natural. And therefore a woman even if she's working, she would like to say her husband having superiority even in terms of spending. She would like she enjoys taking from her husband. She enjoys receiving gifts from her husband. She enjoys asking her husband. Yeah, let us buy this. Why don't you pay for that she enjoys that. And believe me we're lucky brothers. One of the main reasons behind marital breakdown is the husband is not fulfilling that right? After some time. If a woman feels that her
husband is not superior, he is not providing for her. She will see him as equivalent to her. And then okay when both husbands and wives look at themselves at their are totally equal. They deal with each other. Okay? As if he is a competitor to me. They don't overlook the mistakes of each other. They don't think the husband he doesn't look that this is my wife and by nature. She is a female. She makes mistakes.
stakes that I me as a man don't make she has her own needs that I might not need them but because she is a female candidates are different have more room my needs, so, I should take care I should be relevant to the mistakes or shortcomings or hair needs, okay. But this is if I am dealing with her as a woman, but if I am dealing with her as a man, then I will not overlook any mistakes from her side. Similarly, this what happens from the wife, if she is dealing with her husband from this perspective, that's why if a man is not providing for his wife, he will see. And I'm if I can ask you, you will check yourself. And if you are having some problems with your wife, with your wife,
and your wife are complaining, from a financial perspective, check yourself and you'll see that because you are not providing for your wife, these problems come sometimes you might not you might not realize that these problems are due to lack of maintenance from your side, but in reality, it is due to lack of maintenance. And
from another angle, okay? If the husband is not providing for his wife, what happens is he becomes a very lazy person. And this is a very common problem, he becomes a very lazy person, he doesn't like to keep a job. And if his wife works, this problem becomes even bigger and bigger. How because his wife is tasked to work by nature, women are keen to keep the their jobs and if the husband is not working, and he sees that his wife is providing for the house is paying bills, etc, etc, he becomes more lazy, the problems become even bigger. What happens later is their wife starts to add quickly, and she comes work. She comes home from work, maybe seven o'clock, eight o'clock, she's not ready
for her husband, her husband, he needs certain needs, but she is tired. She has been in work for eight hours or nine hours and traveling for one hour, she's totally exhausted, etc, etc. His husband, her husband, after some time, he feels that, Oh, I'm not really attracted to my wife, I he she is not fulfilling my needs my emotional needs one sexual needs, and then the problem becomes bigger and bigger. Who is the main reason behind the problem? The laziness of the husband. However,
as I told I tell women, okay, in these cases, the wife herself by allowing her husband to be lazy and herself to keep up the job, she is contributing towards that problem. What I advise women and this is my advice to women, they are listening to this don't work, don't work. Okay? It is the responsibility of you, your husband to work, your responsibility is to enjoy your life at home, okay? If the husband is forcing you to work, tell him Well, I'm not forced to work, I can help Okay, as much as I can, and maybe work part time or work from home, make it the minimum, it is your responsibility to provide it is your responsibility to work hard in order to provide for the needs
of the house. Now, other circumstances we can talk to them on an individual case, but generally speaking, that is a problem. And I know of a case of 20 in many cases, what happens is the wife is busy going work waking she is she wakes up very early in the morning in order to travel a long distance and then in order to work for 789 hours and she comes back and the husband he doesn't feel that his wife is attractive anymore, she's becoming tired, etc, etc. And he is staying at home for eight, nine hours. Some men started to develop relationship either with family members of the wives or friends of the wife. And after some time, this lady this poor lady who has been providing for her
husband been working for a long hours. At the end of the day her husband is telling her I want to get married to your friend. Imagine how she will perceive that. Of course that is a disaster for her and that will be seen as the end of the marriage. So therefore, okay, as a Latino Allah says in the Quran, I began with a long island Lisa dematha ba ba ba ba
about what the man on top of you have wanted. Now be my football a lot of album out about includes webinar and performing Amalia de la de la vida mentioned and one is pending providing for your wife in particular mentioned that because Allah Delilah knew that providing for life, maintaining human life is an essential element in the success of matrimonial law. The translation of this ayah radiographer woman and Isa women men are superior to women that are many people don't accept this, but this is what Allah Allah Who created men and who created women is saving the life of the law. Because of what Allah Allah Allah gave men over women and because of what Allah Allah Allah
instructed men to maintain or to provide their wants