Aisha (RA) – Mother of the Believers #9

Fatima Barkatulla


Channel: Fatima Barkatulla


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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of affirming love through words of affirmation and actions of service, as it is crucial for men to have a strong love language in relation to their partner. They stress the need for people to be kind and considerate when they receive love, as it is crucial for a healthy life. The speakers also discuss the use of words of affirmation and physical touch in relation to love, and encourage others to share their thoughts and experiences.
AI: Transcript ©
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I shall, I shall,

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I shall I shall

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she was

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peace be upon him, we

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are amazing father.

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We went through some of the descriptions of

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the land has home, you know, home life was like,

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we also spoke about what the various,

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I guess roles or the dynamic between it should have been on hand the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was, you know, the various kind of

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roles that she played in that marriage. And Mashallah a lot of sisters had highlighted quite a few good things, we will mention them today we said to me that, of course, she was a wife.

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So there was a wife and husband dynamic. There was also the mentor and mentee dynamic.

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She was also very much a friend, right, there was a friendship dynamic to their marriage.

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Also, she was a witness and a companion, right. And our companion is in one of the top of course, so she was literally a witness to the summer, right?

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Also, she was a cause of Revelation. Right? There were instances when she was a cause of Revelation.

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One of the interesting things I've been researching is

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what was actually shot and the land has response and attitude towards the he job, right? Like, how did that how is that he job revealed? And then, you know, what was her attitude? And then after the death of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam when women would come, right, because you can just imagine, right? I should have been on her she's in Medina.

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people visit Mecca and Medina, right. And imagine if you were there at the time, and you'd heard that the mother of the believers was in Medina, you would want to visit her, wouldn't you do what you could to visit? So? So Pamela, such was the situation of Ayesha that people always wanted to visit her, especially women.

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And so inshallah

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I decided that the next session, we're actually going to dedicate it to the hijab, and I shut it down has attitude to towards the hijab. And the way she used to, I would say, exalt women who came to her who visited her from all across Arabia, and wherever Islam was spreading, right?

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When she saw them, not observing her job, properly, sometimes right? What was her attitude? What did she use? How did she use to respond because somehow our sisters we can learn so much.

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So Pamela sisters, we can learn so much from this a hobby art, and especially from Atlanta, in the way in the attitude, right, and their mindset towards certain aspects of them. And then it should be our aspiration to internalize that same mindset, right? Because they are our ultimate role models.

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So today, the next time we're going to focus on the job and

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today, I wanted to first of all tie up some loose ends some narrations and things I felt like I missed out or I should have mentioned, that I think are important or that you know, should be part of any class teaching about each other Diana, one of the famous ones is this, and this one obviously took place before her looks at the before she consummated the marriage and lived with the Prophet sallallahu when he was saying when she used to play with little dolls, right.

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And in this hadith in Sahih

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al Bukhari

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she says, I used to play with dolls in the presence of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and my girlfriend's also used to play with me. When I was missing Jett entered my dwelling place. They used to hide themselves but the profit

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you'd call them to join and play with me.

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The playing with the dolls. Okay, so and the commentator is saying that the playing with dolls and similar images is forbidden. But it was allowed for Ayesha. At that time, she was a little girl. Okay, so anyway, the point from this heavy is, of course, the prophet SAW someone was married to Ayesha, right. So she's his wife, even though they're not living together. So he would come to his house. And obviously, they had that kind of free kind of relationship, right.

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But from this Hadees, which is quite well known,

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some of the scholars derived the ruling that

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although in Islam, you know, making images and making pictures of living things is forbidden, right?

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When it comes to children, okay, that the ruling is different. Okay. For some of the scholars, they said that, because I should have played with dolls, and this was not seen as something negative.

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Of course, the goals in those days would have been quite crude, you know, we wouldn't have had like these very, very realistic goals or anything like that. But still, it was, would have been something that represented a living thing, right?

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So, the scholar said that when it comes to children, the ruling is slightly different, you know, so it's okay for them

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to have, you know, images even right, so like, when we have books, for example, with people with images of people in them, for children, that would not be the same as, you know,

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an adult drawing a picture, for example, or creating a sculpture, or a statue or something like this, right. So I just thought that was an interesting, you know, observation of some of the scholars.

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Another point that I feel needs to be mentioned, I'm not sure if I mentioned it last time, is that in the wedding of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam

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sad, even rabada so one of the unsired he provided the food for the wedding and it was like additional food he had sent to the prophets of Allah, whatever sent him. And it's really quite inspiring reading about sad, Ivanova, he was the head of the tribe. And,

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of course, as the tribe,

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excuse me.

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He was the head of the husband's tribe. And of course, that is the tribe that was related to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam right? And he attended the second pledge of Aqaba.

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He was the only Ansari who was tortured by the people of Mecca.

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Okay. The Quraysh had heard about the pledge, no the pledge before the hegira when people have come for hedge. The Olson has alleged some members of demand come find Israel and the minute the prophet SAW Selim had. And you know, while they were there, he had made a pledge with them. And so some of them was still staying at Minar.

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And when the crush heard, they captured Saudi biloba, and they tortured him.

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He was known for being very generous, especially when it comes to food. So Pamela, you're so generous, he's always giving food. They said he used to have some sort of some sort of open buffet or something outside his house, available for people to come and take food. Pamela, right. And so it shows you that because of his generosity, he was also given the honor of being the one who, you know, provided the food for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his wedding.

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And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam made a special facade and his family, his wife and family, because of this trait of theirs. You know, this trait of being so generous, and getting food in particular, you know, shows us doesn't mean that

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we should be competing with one another to be the providers of food, you know, to others. SubhanAllah

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I also wanted to mention how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was related to the unsaved see these types of little details they might seem like well, what are they got to do with it right? But you see, they help us to commit

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contextualize what's happening, you know? So, you know, when you know that somebody is related to someone, and you hear about the having them having a discussion, that discussion becomes different, doesn't it, then, if you didn't know that they were related, right?

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Hello, like, even just like me, sometimes when I'm interviewing people on the on the podcast, somebody who's a good friend of mine, and we might talk in quite a robust way back and forth. And then people will sometimes comment that, you know, it sounds to Fatima, you're, you're interrupting the guest, or you should have listened better or something like this. And it's usually because they don't know that we actually were actually friends from before. We have a history, we have a relationship, right? And so the context of somebody being related to somebody

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changes things, doesn't it? Right. So I just wanted us to kind of be aware of some of the ways in which the Sahaba were related right to one another.

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So the profits that allow What do you send them is related to the answer how, well, you know, obviously, the prophets of Allah, what I'm saying is from passion, right? And

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in the huzar edge,

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there is a tribe by new ID even in a job.

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And the Prophet sallallaahu salons, Father is of the grandfather of the live and then great grandfather is Hashem, right. So Hashem is Hashem. He actually married a woman from the hazard tribe, right? From the bundle Id even in the jar who are from the hazard edge. And that woman was the mother of, of the metallic, right? So because of that,

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the bundle ID were considered the maternal uncles of the prophets, Allah when he was in.

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And obviously, that is what had created the kind of affinity between the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the answer, right from the beginning, like, even before they had accepted Islam, and even before they had accepted Him, that is what made them more kind of, I would say, more amenable and more and soften their hearts right towards him.

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And that's why they wanted him to come and help them solve their differences in the wars they've been having for so many years between each other, etc, etc. Right.

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So that's an important thing to mention.

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And so, a few other descriptions of the profits are not what he was selling his house that I found. It's actually a brilliant book, find it.

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Then I found what about the profits and allowed incentives house, which I'll bring it next time. Um,

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so we know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam purpose purposefully lived a very austere life, right? He lived that austere life, not because it's hard to have good things and luxurious things. But because he chose not to. Okay, and we're going to talk about that later.

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In the incident, regarding the choice that he gave his wives

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in his house, there was a bed frame. This is from a heavy three, there was a bed frame, there was some sort of matting.

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There was a leather pillow,

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filled with fiber,

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a piece of leather home to a hook, a water skin, a bucket for water, and dates, and a bolt for drinking water.

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Those are some of the simple things of the profits on the low it was alum owned and owned.

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I shall get on her tells us about the kind of lifestyle of the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam that sometimes they would spend 14 nights in succession without burning an oil lamp or having anything to give light.

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Just think about that. So power law.

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What that means is that basically you know, their lives would have been very much run by the

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basically the rhythm of the natural rhythm of day and night, right.

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So when it becomes dark, any or any of you have been camping, right? You know, that's a panela when it starts getting dark, stopped

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panicking, right? Because you start thinking, oh my god, very soon, it's gonna be dark, we better get the torches out, we're gonna get the lamps out. We can't really relate to that way of life because we used to artificial light, right, we can stay up all night if we want. We can work all night, which is quite unhealthy.

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So, you know, obviously this is actually a more healthy way of life, right living according to the,

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to the sun, the daylight and the night, right sleeping at night, and getting up in the day, the crack of dawn, and working throughout the day. But it kind of also shows you that, you know, oil was like a expensive or seen as a type of luxury in those days, right.

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And there would be times when they didn't burn an oil lamp will have anything to give light.

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To Pamela. And there is a wonderful little anecdotal story that I found

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that the tabea you say even and we'll see you who is one of the seven fuqaha of Medina. So in the generation after the Sahaba, there were seven

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scholars who were considered to be like the real knowledgeable scholars, right. And who used to give, you know, judgments. They were like judges.

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One of them is setting it even MSA and when

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the house of eyeshadow Golan Heights during the time of the halifa Walid bin Abdul Malik, right. So in that way at times when

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the house of Arusha was going to be dismantled, okay? Because, you know, they have to expand the message here, they wanted to rebuild certain aspects. And so panela he actually said to the belief, he said, I wish you didn't have to destroy this little room. And the people could be content with what they have, versus future generations could understand what kind of life the Messenger of Allah, Allah, what do you send them was pleased with

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even though he had in his hand, the key to the world's treasures, Subhan Allah. And this is in part inside.

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So Panama, he, he actually just as last last in the last couple of sessions, you know, when we were looking at the

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house of Asia, or the lander, we were looking at the pictures just as it kind of moved us, right. It moved us

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on minute.

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With the sound, I just need to wait till the sound goes.

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I'm just gonna carry on.

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Okay, so, as I was saying,

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Can you hear me sisters? Just want to check in with you.

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Can you hear that sound? is coming out from the window. Something really loud outside? Oh,

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So you know, just as in the last couple of sessions, and we were looking at the house of ha kind of move that Stephanie made us take us out of the house simple. They lived, how simply they lived. And those were just reconstructions right and models of what the house of actual would have looked like the Darby, and great scholars say they've been on the see if you had such foresight. He was actually saying to the honeybee, I wish you could just leave it because when people come here from all over the world, and they come and see us, they could come and see what the house of the profits or the La Jolla center was like, they would be thankful for their own homes, they'd be thankful they would

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realize what this world is all about. Right? they've realized that the best of creation, the man who could have had all the luxuries that he wanted, right, because the Sahaba were always willing to give him whatever he wanted. He

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had chosen to live in this simple way. And he had lived in this simple way. So Panama.

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So what about the food and lifestyle of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam I showed him and he tells us that they found

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of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam have not eaten wheat bread to their satisfaction for three consecutive days since his arrival at Medina until he died panela. So, something as simple as bread, we think of it as something simple. In those times, it was something valuable, right? It wasn't something that you could easily get all the time.

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And so she's saying that's a panel or the family of Mohammed had not been overseas to him or herself, right.

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had not eaten wheat bread to their satisfaction for three days in a row. Since he arrived at Medina until he died.

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She also said the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam died when we had satisfied our hunger, with the two black things, dates and water.

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to Panama, you know,

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some scholars and teachers, sometimes when they explain this heavy, they say the two black things is because, you know, dates.

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And because water because what we used to not be clean and those tastes right. But remember, our chef, hammered Akram nadwi. He explained to us that No, it's not that that's not the correct understanding of that phrase, you know, in Arabic is, so then the two black things.

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He said, You know, when it comes to in the Arabic language,

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when you're mentioning two things together,

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and one of them has a certain characteristic, you might give that characteristic to both of them, and say Allah they even though it's actually just dates, that is black that are black, right? So it doesn't mean that the water was dirty, or, as I've heard, some people say and talks, it's just an expression. It shows you the importance of understanding the Arabic language, right? When you're a student of knowledge, it's really important to study Arabic, and to understand its nuances, because something that on the face of itself seems very obvious. You have to understand, like, you know, a language has certain conventions, certain idioms, just as we do in English, right? There are those

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kinds of conventions and idioms, etc, and expressions in Arabic. So the two black things is just a way of talking about two things that are close together, or two things that you're mentioning together.

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And she's talking about dates, and water. So Subhanallah Look, this idea of having cooked food was a luxury for them, right. So they, most of the time, it's what what this means is that most of the time, they were eating raw food, they're eating things like dates, drinking water, maybe having milk, even milk

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is a luxury, right? Milk was seen as a food in those days, you know, we just treat it as a drink or something to add to our tea or, you know, something to give the kids or whatever. But in those days, milk was like a meal, right?

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In the description of their lifestyle, we also find that sometimes they would not eat baked or cooked foods for a month.

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But we also know that people used to send food to a shelter dinner, and to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam as a as a gift. And of course they you'd expect that right? Like, if you knew that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was living in your neighborhood, right, so you had access any kind of access to him? You would, if you cook something nice, you'd want to send it right. And so when people cook something, they would like to send it to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And actually, they used to especially send it on the day when they knew he was with Ayesha. So as you know, later on, when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam had multiple wives,

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he built the same type of hoogenraad for each of them next to in the same area in the same vicinity, that side of the ship right the eastern side. And

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so he would take turns to stay the night with each of his wives. He tried to be as just as possible he was as just as possible. And so what that means is that he would only come to Atlanta once every nine days, right? At one point. So Pamela, so people used to kind of wait until they knew that it was his day to be at it.

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His house because he, they knew how much he loved her. And they would wait for that point. And that's when they would send some food. Because it was almost like they wanted to add even more happiness to his happiness, right to his joy of being without a shadow of the line. Hmm. And so panela So,

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so they did have, you know, that kind of food they had the food of that was gifts that people would send.

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And we also know that once a lady from the unsired gave it a shot of the lambda, some kind of a mattress for the profits on the low end zone. So maybe

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some kind of a

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leather thing, you know, with a bit of a softer feeling, then palm fibers, right, something a bit soft.

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And so I should have put it in house.

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Because obviously, that lady had seen that the profits are lower it was his mattress was so simple and rough, you know.

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And so the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he saw it, he actually told Ayesha that he wanted to have the old mattress back. He said he preferred the simpler mattress, you know,

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also read that after the Battle of haber. And that was when

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a lot of date palms and orchards had come into the possession of the Muslims. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu wasallam allocated

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a certain amount of dates and a certain amount of Bali to be given annually to his wives.

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But because of their generosity, and the large number of visitors that they used to have, it was not really enough to meet their needs. So Pamela?

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Yes, I just want us to reflect on that for a little while. And then I want to move on to speaking about it shall Dylan has married life. Um,

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so like we said, when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was married to a number of women, initially, it was just a sugar and soda. So he would have alternated right between them.

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But later, when he had a number of ways, he would take a day with each of them. And we find them the integrations that I should have been on have really, really

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wanted the attention of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And when he was with her, he was she was very protective over that time, you know, as you'd expect, especially since it's once every nine days, right?

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the companions of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam they knew about the love of ihL and the prophets of Allah, what he said and such that, even afterwards, they would always call her Habiba to Allah. And when, you know, certain troubles started happening amongst the Muslims, after the death of the prophet SAW Selim, after the time of mine,

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and somebody said something negative about her. The Sahaba would defend her and say, Are you saying this about Habiba? rasulillah is saying this about the Beloved of Rasulullah. Right? They knew this status that she had, despite the political differences and things that came about later, they would never take away from this status that she had, you know, because it was so well known.

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And we know that later on, so that actually gifted her day, because she became quite elderly. You know, she gave her day to Asia, her night to Asia. So that means the profit center would spend two nights with Asia, Atlanta.

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So in looking at her, we talked about the different dynamics, in looking at her dynamic with the Prophet sallallahu Sallam as a wife. I thought it would be very interesting to look at a framework that

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I've been looking at with a friend of mine, and that is a You must have heard of this. It's quite a famous book. It's called the five love languages, right? The Five Love Languages and the idea in this book is that

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that we as human beings, we operate or we have five ways of expressing love. Okay. And usually, we have about two of these ways.

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Now stronger for any one of us. So, for example, so that so let me mention what the five love languages are.

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They are

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words of affirmation, okay, so saying I love you actually expressing love, verbally, right?

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acts of service, okay, so when we actually do things for one another

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for some people that is very, that is a real sign of love, you know,

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acts of service, receiving gifts for some of us, we need to receive gifts in order to feel loved.

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quality time. So, you know, we crave quality time with the person that we love or that we want to show us love.

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physical touch. For some people, it's really important for physical touch to be the primary

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way to express and receive love.

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And I think that's fine. Right. Did I mention five?

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So I thought it'd be really interesting to look at instead of just going through headaches and saying, you know, look at how the profits as uninsured I sure love, I thought, let's take these five, okay.

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These five love languages, and see if the Prophet sallallahu wasallam expressed his love to Arusha through those five modes. And what I found, which is really interesting is for each one of them, you know, you can find evidence of love.

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So, the first love language words of affirmation. We know that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam in a hadith Have you ever been asked when he came to the prophets of Salaam and he said, which person is most beloved to you? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Ayesha, right.

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And then he said, I'm gonna say, I mean amongst the men,

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and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said her father.

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And then he said, then who? The prophets of Allah what it was said and set it up. And then he mentioned other men. So Pamela, so I was thinking so kinda in this Hadith, if the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is not shy, to express his love, affirm his love in front of other men, right? Well, not related to Asia, you know, I've been a nurse, he's not a relative of Asia or anything. If he's not shy to express and affirm love to his love for our T shirt to them, then, of course, he would have expressed his love and affirmed his love to Ayesha in person, right? So Pamela, we find in our times, and in certain cultures,

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men find it very kind of, I don't know, kind of embarrassing, or something that they don't think is appropriate to express their love for their spouse, right. In fact, in some, some family in some cultures, people don't even want to mention the name of their spouse right in front of other men. Or they would get offended if another man mentioned the name of their wife. But look at the way in this Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam straight away says Arusha very openly, right? And clearly, leaving no ambiguity. He didn't say, my wife. He didn't say one of my wives. He didn't say my youngest wife or anything like that, you know? He said, I shot, right. And so Pamela shows you that

00:34:05--> 00:34:06

many of the kind of,

00:34:07--> 00:34:09

I'd say, the sense of

00:34:11--> 00:34:12

embarrassment or

00:34:13--> 00:34:26

excessive modesty, you could call it that sometimes we have in our cultures, is not based on the sun at all. Right? The prophet SAW that song was open with his love.

00:34:27--> 00:34:46

Of course, you did it with decorum. We're not talking about describing or discussing intimate details of marriage and stuff like that, of course, the prophet doesn't, explicitly forbade that, but simply for people to know the name of your wife, simply for you to mention the name of your wife

00:34:48--> 00:34:54

in front of all the men, for people to know that you love your spouse. There's nothing wrong with that.

00:34:57--> 00:35:00

So yeah, words of affirmation that prophet SAW Selim was big on

00:35:00--> 00:35:16

words of affirmation. And we know that I should have been on how he would tell her wouldn't hear about her status, how important she was, how he saw her in a dream before he got married to how the angel brought a picture of her in silk, embroidered in silk.

00:35:17--> 00:35:33

And so all of these things are words of affirmation, right? That affirming his love for her. Okay. So the second love language acts of service. So Pamela, I should have known her tells us that

00:35:34--> 00:35:44

when she was asked, okay, she was asked, What did the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam do in his house? She said he was a human being like any other,

00:35:46--> 00:35:49

milk his sheep and serve himself. So Pamela.

00:35:51--> 00:36:02

Also in another report, she said, he used to stitches government meant his shoes, and work as other men work in the houses.

00:36:05--> 00:36:08

She also said, when she was asked,

00:36:10--> 00:36:16

What did the Prophet sallallahu wasallam do when he was with his family? She said, The Prophet would do chores for his family.

00:36:18--> 00:36:32

And he would go out when it was time for prayer. So So Pamela, again, what does this show it shows us he did acts of service towards for his family, which is an expression of love, right?

00:36:34--> 00:36:45

But also, if you notice how she describes the way that he would be busy doing things, as any man would know, in his home, or for his family, could be chores inside or outside.

00:36:46--> 00:37:33

But when it came to the salon, what did you do? You became focused on the Salah, right? You went and prayed, that was his beget that became a number one priority. So in that way, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was also doing tarbiyah right of his family, because he was showing them that yes, there are matters of the dunya the matters of this world need to be attended to. But when it comes to Allah 's rights, when it comes to the time for Salah time to connect with Allah, that becomes the priority Subhana Allah. So the second love language acts of service prophets alone he was selling them certainly did acts of service for his family, the third love language, receiving gifts. Well,

00:37:35--> 00:38:22

I could not find any specific ideas that talked about gifts that he specifically gave to his wives, okay. But what we do know is that he encouraged the giving of gifts, right? He said that the hub will give gifts and your loved one another, right. And so of course, he will have given gifts. And also, we know in the Hadith, that actually the learner said, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said the best of you are the best towards their wives. And I am the best of you to my wives. Right? And so that would have included all kinds of good behavior towards your wife, right? So would have included giving gifts as well. And of course, the profits are low when you sell

00:38:22--> 00:38:36

them if he was given a gift he for his wives, he would have somehow divided it between them. Right? If if it was at all possible, the next love language, quality time?

00:38:37--> 00:38:49

Well, we know that it should have been I was very protective over our time with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And he was very scrupulously fair between his wives and sharing time.

00:38:50--> 00:39:23

But, you know, he said that, you know, regarding the matters of the heart, so, your inclination towards somebody in terms of your love, that's not something you can control, right? But how you express it something you could control. So even as a parent, right, you might not be able to control how much you you feel an affinity towards one child more than another, right? You love all of your children. But you might have you might gel more with one child than with another.

00:39:24--> 00:39:46

So you can't control that. Right? Although you would try your best to get on with all of them. Um, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to make a DA and he used to say, oh my lord, this is the share that I can do. In other words, the actual physical, being fair between his wives right.

00:39:47--> 00:39:59

But do not judge me by the sheer that you can do which I am not able to do. Okay. And the scholars said this Hadith, this is

00:40:00--> 00:40:03

Are was about Ayesha. In other words,

00:40:05--> 00:40:23

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam knew that his heart was more inclined towards action, he had more love for her. Right, he felt a sense in connection with her more than the other wives. And so he was asking a lot to not hold him to account for that matter of the heart, you know.

00:40:25--> 00:40:33

He was also very sensitive to her feelings, and one of the ways that we can see that he did care about the quality time he spent with Russia,

00:40:34--> 00:40:49

is that once in one of the ethers, a description of a Persian neighbor, who invited the prophets all alone and sign up for a meal, right, and it was known that this

00:40:51--> 00:40:57

that this neighbor, he would cook very, you would have quite exotic food, you know, for that time.

00:40:58--> 00:41:22

And he invited the Prophet son alone. So he sent somebody to invite the Prophet. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam asked, Is she invited as well? Is it invited as well? And the person maybe it was a servant or something he kept? He said, No. Okay. So then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam declined, he actually turned down the offer, right?

00:41:23--> 00:41:27

And then the servant came again. And he said,

00:41:29--> 00:41:35

This man, you know, this neighbor, he invites you. And the prophets I sent him said, is she?

00:41:36--> 00:42:18

Is she also invited? And he said, No. So then he said, then I must decline the offer. So then he went, and for the third time, he came back, so maybe his masters like, you know, go and make sure the profits or something comes right. And he said, you know, the sponsor invites you to his house for a meal. And he said, Is she invited? And this time, the servant said, Yes, she has said the master must have given permission, and realize that the prophets have allowed him Sam actually wanted to do something with his wife, not without Tao, right, wanted to have this meal with his wife. So

00:42:20--> 00:42:25

when the seven said yes, then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam accepted that

00:42:26--> 00:42:43

invitation and both the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and Ayesha went to enjoy that meal. So, so Pamela, that lovely story, it kind of shows you that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was very sensitive to the fact that this was Ayesha's time, you know.

00:42:44--> 00:43:24

And that, if he was going to go and eat with somebody else, then that would mean less time with her, right, he wouldn't be spending that enjoyment, but he wouldn't be enjoying it with her, she wouldn't be having a nice meal, like he would be. And also, he wouldn't be spending that time with her, right. So he wanted to arrange it such that she would also be part of it, or that he would stay at home and spend his time with her. And it also shows you you're allowed to turn down an invitation, you know, if you have a reason for it. And, you know, it's not obligatory for you to accept every single invitation. And it also shows you

00:43:25--> 00:43:49

that if you want to invite something, if you want somebody else to be invited, somebody invites you. You can't just turn up there, right? You can just turn up with your wife or with your family. You should have the other to ask if you want to, if you want somebody else to be invited as well. You should have the other to ask and if they say no should accept it should not hold that against them. You know?

00:43:51--> 00:44:05

So So Pamela you can see from this that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam really cared about his quality time with Arusha. The fourth or fifth love language. Okay, so we've been through

00:44:07--> 00:44:52

words of affirmation acts of service receiving gifts, quality time, and the last one is physical touch, right? We know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam kissed, I should have done that right? She tells us itself. I should have known her reported that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam kissed some of his wives. And then he left for the salon without renewing his ablution without renewing his model. So obviously she was telling this Hadeeth to her nephew Ottawa, even as aware. She was telling it to him as a point of fear, right? She's telling you that look you don't have to make will do if you kiss your wife, if you have physical contact with your wife, or even

00:44:52--> 00:44:58

kissing, which is seen as like her affection it will could be even seen as a sexual thing right?

00:45:00--> 00:45:03

She said that, you know,

00:45:04--> 00:45:11

he would kiss his wives and then go for Salah. He didn't kiss his wife and then go make will do because his widow was broken or something right.

00:45:13--> 00:45:37

And so she mentioned this for this point of benefit the stripy benefit, and her nephew always said to her, oh, who was this wife? If it was not you any? You're saying I know you're talking about yourself? You kissed you. Right. And then he went for Salah. And at this his Auntie Ayesha she lost his hand it shall loft.

00:45:38--> 00:45:39


00:45:41--> 00:45:42


00:45:44--> 00:46:05

And this is integrity. And then we the comments that it is the opinion of Sofia and authority and the people of Kufa that there is no obligatory ablution after kissing, right? So he's talking about when they say Sofia Foley and the people of Kufa, especially the people of COVID, they mean like the Hanafi is basically right.

00:46:06--> 00:46:09

That, you know, it's their opinion that

00:46:10--> 00:46:14

you don't have to make wudu after kissing, so

00:46:15--> 00:46:49

so we see from this hadith that definitely the prophets of Salaam, you know, showed his love through kissing, and also through touching, you know, that it should have been said that when she was on her meniscus or when a woman is on her menses, then the profits on our salon, considered everything above the navel, to be allowed to be touched and enjoyed right between the spouses. Right. And so we know from that,

00:46:50--> 00:46:58

that of course, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would have expressed his love through physical touch right.

00:47:02--> 00:47:12

We also i'm just going to mention a few more examples of the love for one another. We see her protectiveness over the profits I'm ally willing seller.

00:47:14--> 00:47:22

Once you know a group of people had entered upon the profit solar setup, some of the people of the book

00:47:23--> 00:47:26

and so this was in her house, right.

00:47:28--> 00:47:51

And she had them say a somewhat illegal she had them say, death be upon you. This was a trick that the the, the Jews of Medina used to do sometimes where they would enter upon the Prophet SAW So then, instead of saying a salaam aleikum, WA Alaykum as a type of curse or something like this, right? And

00:47:54--> 00:48:08

I showed that the lion has she heard and understood it, and immediately she stood up and she said, what a legal Sam. Well, and she said, and may death and a curse of a lobby upon you as well. Right?

00:48:09--> 00:48:09


00:48:11--> 00:48:20

last messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said be como Arusha. Allah loves that one should be kind and lenient. Woman matters.

00:48:21--> 00:48:56

And then I just said, all those messenger Haven't you heard what they have said? Allah's Messenger sallallahu Sallam said, I have already said to them, what I like them, and also already said, and upon you. Right. So whatever you said, upon me upon you, too. So in other words, he was showing I shot first of all, you can see from this idea, the protectiveness that he had for the profits and loss and and that somebody is insulting him or saying something against him. She felt very protective about that. And felt like defending him. Right.

00:48:58--> 00:49:33

But it also shows you the tarbiyah of the profits on the lower selling for Asia, right? He's giving us obeah don't get stressed out, no need to get angry. You need to yet you know, stressed and kind of lose your sense of decorum. There's no need for that right. We don't need to insult them back. We just can say what our legal and upon you. Whatever you said to me is upon you as well. Right. So So Pamela See there tend to be out of the profits are also an example and other examples of her love.

00:49:34--> 00:49:39

You know, she had a lot of Lila for the profits are some sense of protective jealousy.

00:49:41--> 00:49:47

She said herself and Hadith in Sahih al Bukhari I never felt jealous of any woman as I did.

00:49:49--> 00:50:00

But at the Lana, though she had died three years before the Prophet married me. And that was because I heard him mentioning her too often and because he

00:50:00--> 00:50:23

Lord had ordered him to give her the glad tidings that she would have the palace in paradise made of pasta. And because he used to slaughter a sheep and distribute it to meet among our friends, so she was so protective in her sense of jealousy, but she added protective jealousy for the Prophet sallallahu Sallam known as a leader, leader, or leader,

00:50:24--> 00:50:37

that, you know, this constant mention of Khadija and knowing how much he held her in high esteem was something that would cause her a sense of jealousy. Right?

00:50:38--> 00:50:50

It was something that may cause hurt sense of jealousy. But at the same time, she did not transgress the bounds, you know, this is another sign of her love, and Charla, with this point, I will

00:50:51--> 00:50:53

move to q&a.

00:50:54--> 00:51:35

Another sign of her love is that she did not transgress the bounds when she was pleased or displeased with the profits of the lesson. And you might say how can somebody be displeased with the Prophet sallallahu Sallam right? Well, of course, for an average person and average Muslim, if an average Muslim was displeased with the profits that allowed him to send him this could be an act of gopher, right. This could be an act of disbelief. But we're talking about the husband and wife relationship. And in that there was some leeway given, you know, because there's natural, there's a natural type of, you know, positive and negativity right that comes with marriage, right with living

00:51:35--> 00:51:44

with somebody constantly in that way. So, we see in this Hadith, that allowes messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

00:51:46--> 00:51:51

he said to Ayesha, I know whether you are angry, or pleased with me.

00:51:52--> 00:51:56

And I said, How do you know that it was messenger?

00:51:57--> 00:52:01

You said when you are pleased you say yes, by the Lord of Hamlet.

00:52:03--> 00:52:06

When you are angry, you say no, by the Lord of your brain.

00:52:08--> 00:52:16

I said, Yes, I do not leave except your name. So the only thing I leave out is your name. Right? So Subhan Allah,

00:52:17--> 00:52:25

we can see that she didn't used to transgress the bounds is the subtle things that would express whether she was happy or sad about something.

00:52:28--> 00:52:29

And inshallah,

00:52:30--> 00:52:41

next time we will carry on some other examples of her love. I shall a student and protector of the legacy of the prophets of Salaam, I shall as a mentee,

00:52:42--> 00:52:43

and I shall his friend.

00:52:46--> 00:52:58

I wanted to finish those off. So we'll leave that for next time. And if we get time, we will talk about the verses of hijab, the way that hijab was revealed.

00:52:59--> 00:53:01

And, you know,

00:53:02--> 00:53:07

what our response and her attitude was towards the hijab in general.

00:53:08--> 00:53:12

So, if there are any questions, I can go to those now.

00:53:35--> 00:53:37

All right, any questions, please?

00:53:43--> 00:53:45

Ask them or if you have any comments,

00:53:50--> 00:54:00

Shaolin next week, this course will also be at 5pm. So do you tell you know, as many sisters as you can, so that more and more sisters can join us?

00:54:02--> 00:54:05

I've also done an analysis actually, which you're going to find interesting. Have

00:54:06--> 00:54:18

I showed a nice personality? No, I don't think you've heard of the five big personality traits, right? So psychologists today they say that there are five big

00:54:19--> 00:54:41

kind of personality traits that everyone has or everyone has certain percentages of these personality, personality traits, right? And those five are openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

00:54:43--> 00:54:43


00:54:45--> 00:54:58

it might sound like a bit of a unconventional thing to do. But I just got really curious you know, looking at the life of it, Sharon, studying so many of her hobbies and looking at in so many different areas of our life.

00:55:00--> 00:55:12

It's kind of thing, okay, we actually get a very good idea as much as we can, as people who are looking back at history, right? Have I should have done and has personality?

00:55:14--> 00:55:27

And so I actually did a little bit of analysis of her personality. And shall it be interesting to share the results. And this is obviously based on what we know about tilray.

00:55:28--> 00:55:43

Nobody can really do a proper personality test on anyone, unless that person themselves sits sits down and answers the questions necessary, right. But I think from all of the body of literature that we have, right, if you look at the Muslim,

00:55:44--> 00:55:51

right, he has Muslim, the body show, which is like all of the hobbies of Arusha and subvolumes, right.

00:55:53--> 00:56:01

I believe it's at least four volumes, if not more. And so just looking through that, of course, you get you form

00:56:02--> 00:56:31

a picture of her personality from all of that. And so I thought it'd be interesting to share her personality. If you get a chance before next session, I could look those five personality traits up. And tell me what you think, you know, when we discussed this topic, was I should have given her an extrovert or an introvert. Was she high in agreeableness? Was she high in

00:56:32--> 00:56:33


00:56:35--> 00:56:41

conscientiousness can be like being orderly being very kind of aware of the little details, right?

00:56:43--> 00:56:45

Wish you high in openness?

00:56:47--> 00:57:05

Was she neuroticism doesn't mean it's not necessarily a negative trait means basically, that you highly analyze and highly stew over things and, you know, worry about things, right. So what she hi in that

00:57:06--> 00:57:17

I'd like you to think about this. It's just an interesting thing for us to think about. It's not It's not something that's going to have any bearing on our physical or anything like that.

00:57:18--> 00:57:28

Okay, so, let me see what the sisters are saying. Just go home for the classroom sessions are always so detailed and fun. Oh hamdulillah glad you think so.

00:57:29--> 00:57:39

I love this session. I want you to ask the name of the book of the house of the messenger okay. You know what, I think I've got it here. Let me just reach down and get it

00:57:45--> 00:57:48

think I might have left it downstairs? I'm afraid so please.

00:57:50--> 00:57:53

I will get it for you next time. I forgotten the name as well.

00:57:55--> 00:57:57

Let me write that down. Don't forget.

00:57:59--> 00:58:00

Sammy calm.

00:58:03--> 00:58:06

For the dyers everyone. I really appreciate it.

00:58:09--> 00:58:10

What is it just Kenya

00:58:11--> 00:58:17

was she widely known by it will used in her time she's like a parent.

00:58:18--> 00:58:24

Is the law right? The mother of the law that was a blessing as to where her nephew.

00:58:27--> 00:58:40

I'm not sure how widely people used it. But it was the cornea that the prophets Allah Sallam encouraged her to use when she was very aware that she didn't have kids. And the other people had corneas, right?

00:58:47--> 00:58:56

This lesson really made me feel the human nature of the messenger and Aisha, I think it's often robot roboticized sized.

00:58:58--> 00:59:02

Where it's like they would just love without any human feelings in between.

00:59:03--> 00:59:04


00:59:06--> 00:59:11

You know, my husband makes a joke when, when people are looking for marriage.

00:59:12--> 00:59:13

And, you know, they say,

00:59:14--> 00:59:35

is it okay for me to marry somebody who I find attractive, you know, like, people seem to think that it's kind of sinful to want to have love and attraction, right? They think when we're getting married, we have to just look at only the Islamic kind of character, right? And joke that my husband often says is

00:59:38--> 00:59:56

I can't say it in the way that he says it because it's a bit rude. But, um, basically he says, you know, piety alone, doesn't, doesn't make a good marriage. You know, piety alone doesn't make a good marriage. It doesn't make the sparks fly right. In a marriage.

00:59:57--> 00:59:59

You need the attraction is all there.

01:00:00--> 01:00:06

Right, it's important. So you can see that there was definitely attraction there between the prophets of Salaam and Aisha.

01:00:07--> 01:00:10

You're right about the roboticized thing, because

01:00:11--> 01:00:24

sometimes when I've been reading some of the books about it should have been on her and the way that the scholars have written about their marriage. There's always a section that says, The real reason why the Prophet loved Ayesha, right.

01:00:25--> 01:00:27

And then there's just this list of

01:00:29--> 01:00:48

the fact that she was, she worshipped a lot right? Now, although that's true, it's true. We will see in Charlotte, in future episodes, we will see how much I should have done and her love the profits, I sell them, but also how much she worshipped Allah, she was a true worship of Allah, that's true.

01:00:50--> 01:00:53

But to take away any kind of human dynamic,

01:00:55--> 01:01:33

and to act as though the reason why the Prophet loved Ayesha was because of her piety when she was like really young, right? You couldn't say that she's like, she learned about piety while she was living with the prophets. And she didn't come to him as a fully formed, pious person, you know what I mean? Like, of course, she had very good qualities from the beginning. But when you're nine years old, you know, you're still developing, right? So to kind of limit the profits or loss, Ellen's personality to only caring about piety. It's, it's kind of like you said, robotic, and it's unrealistic.

01:01:34--> 01:02:06

He must have loved Ayesha, because she was attractive, right? You loved her because she was beautiful, because she loved him, because she expressed love, because of her personality. Because they gel because they want the same wavelength. Because she obeyed Him because she served him because she showed love to him. Because of all of these five love languages that we mentioned, you know, things that he did for her and she did for him. So to limit their marriage to only being about worship and is to limit

01:02:07--> 01:02:12

the true personality of the prophet SAW someone. So I think you're right about that.

01:02:18--> 01:02:30

Like the way you use the five love languages to portray the love between Asia? Yeah. Because if you can see the how much I love the profits I sell, and really, you know, express love in so many different ways.

01:02:33--> 01:02:37

What is the name of this of the setup he has had it's

01:02:38--> 01:03:05

so you know, different idea of collections, they order their hobbies in different ways, okay. And what's nice is basically a new collection that that puts the heaviness of one Sahabi all together, right? So all the heavies on Baccarat together all the heavies of all my all the heavy itself, etc, etc. So the Muslims of Imam Ahmed, the famous Muslim mammoth,

01:03:08--> 01:03:15

that's like the most famous anti muslim, that

01:03:16--> 01:03:27

is a great resource. If you really want to know about Russia, and you want to feel like you know her, and you can hear her voice and understand her right, go to the wassenaar agreement.

01:03:28--> 01:03:34

And you could look it up in Arabic as Muslim or via Muslim adarsha. It might come up.

01:03:36--> 01:03:42

Because you know, each of the Muslim is divided into the Muslim of each hobby, basically. Right.

01:03:45--> 01:03:46

But it's in Arabic. That's the thing.

01:03:48--> 01:03:58

When you have a hijab, could you also please cover the topic of how I show that I did hit that point in chastity? Since then, I've sort of lost on my son and passed away early in her life. Indeed.

01:04:00--> 01:04:01

That's something people don't think about right.

01:04:04--> 01:04:24

Also to confirm, is it permissible to illustrate animals animated beings for children's content? Only? I don't know the answer to that question. I'm afraid. I do know from as a person who buys books, so you're not the one who's actually drawing those things. Somebody who buys them.

01:04:25--> 01:04:30

I know it's permissible. I believe that it's permissible to buy those types of books for children.

01:04:32--> 01:04:41

But in terms of being an artist who actually draws them, that's a very good question inshallah. I will do my best to, to look that up.

01:04:42--> 01:04:53

Personally, I avoid that myself. But I will look into in child life to try to give you a better answer, an accurate answer, inshallah.

01:04:55--> 01:04:59

inshallah, I'm going to end it there, because I want to get us to end on time. It's close.

01:05:00--> 01:05:38

To time as possible, does that mean my parents sisters, I really appreciate you coming and attending this class week after week. Please share it with others you know, share this link the link is permanent now they're not going to keep changing it. The link is permanent and it's 5pm share it with everybody in Sharla all your friends and family give them a little nudge a few minutes before it starts. Because I think sometimes you know people intend to attend and then they just forget about it and tell them how much more interesting it is to attend live because when you attend live you can actually I feel like you're all parts of this course you know, you've helped form this

01:05:38--> 01:05:51

class. Does I come on here and your observations are amazing. So I really do appreciate that may Allah bless all of you. May Allah Subhana Allah unite us with our mother Ayesha. In Jenna in chat Allah.

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With that, I will bid you farewell insha Allah subhanho wa

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Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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she was

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she was