Fatima Barkatulla – 70 Major Sins #06 – Sin 7 – Not Going Hajj While Able To, Sin 8 – Disrespecting Parents

Fatima Barkatulla
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of praying in the same way as the holy month, promoting women to participate in community activities, setting boundaries, and not taking responsibility for one's behavior. They stress the need for men to attend events and be part of the community, avoiding disrespectful language, honoring parents, and not raising one's voice to them. They also emphasize the importance of service to elders and the use of words to describe behavior, and the need for hedge coverage and support for older individuals. The speakers stress the importance of inspiring parents to take risks and make them happy, and emphasize the need for hedging one's finances and finding a partner who can afford them.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah dear sisters are Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And welcome to another 70 major sins class.

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I'm just going to share my screen with you.

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So I'm just gonna share my screen with you and we can start.

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This is a little note about the

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just something I wanted to mention about Sala because in my mother hubby actually puts a lot of emphasis in it in kw kabaya. And that is Salah in JAMA in the masjid.

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He has like a little section about that. And the reason why I didn't really go into it is because I thought to myself, well,

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I guess because we're in the West. You know, we don't think of it in the same way. Because hardly any of us have

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masajid very close to our houses, right. But I think it's still important for us to emphasize this because Alhamdulillah you know, as time goes by, more and more of us are likely to be living near a Masjid. And even if we're not when we go to a Muslim country or when we are near Masjid, some of this will apply. And also the fact that also Allah Salah Salem emphasize this so much. I think it means that we should, of course, like know it, and we should teach it especially to

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to our sons in particular. Because

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when it comes to Salah in JAMA in the masjid,

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to be honest, the default for men, the default for men is supposed to be that they pray

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the Salah in the masjid,

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living in the West, we sometimes lose that sense because if you're not near a Masjid, then, you know, unless the men in your family are very committed, you know, there isn't that kind of sense of obligation, right? But the fact is that, actually men especially

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are obligated to pray the Salah in the masjid, the fourth Salah, the obligatory Salas, especially if they can hear the oven from their house. Okay, then I'm glad I asked you guys where you're all from because someone's from Kuwait, someone's from India.

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And some of these countries

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you can hear the avant from your house, right? Like, even whether it's on a loudspeaker or whatever, you can hear the oven from your house, so

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it becomes obligatory upon the men.

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If they can hear the oven

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to respond to the oven, the oven is not just like background music or Sonic background sound. It's literally a call, isn't it? How you Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah is saying, Come to Salah, come to prayer come to success. So I just wanted to read some of these narrations just to emphasize that even Massoud

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Allah said, I saw us at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and no one stayed behind from these prayers, meaning the obligatory prayers in the masjid in JAMA, except a hypocrite who was known for his hypocrisy.

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It would so Manasa right.

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These animations are all mentioned by a minimal pay him by the way.

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He says it was also narrated that even muscled, may Allah be pleased with him said, Whoever he is the more oven and does not respond. And he also does not have an excuse. His prayer is not valid. So that they used to consider a condition of the validity of the Salah that you pray and Gemma, if you can hear the avant.

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He was narrated that Abu Musab actually said whoever he is them other than and does not respond with no excuse. His prayer is not valid.

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By the way, there's a difference of opinion about this, okay? But I'm mentioning these Hadith because it shows you the strength of proof and the strength of kind of the words, right. Regarding praying in JAMA in the masjid.

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It was narrated that

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Under the line who said there is no prayer for a neighbor of the mosque except in the mosque? It was said Who is the neighbor of the mosque? He said Whoever can hear the oven.

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And it was narrated also that by him that whoever among the neighbors of the mosque he is the call to prayer. And he is in good health and does not have any excuse. His prayer is not valid. So, and there's also other narrations, you know, where, even on Maktoum The,

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the blind is happy, right? He asked the prophet SAW Selim for like an excuse or exemption from praying in the masjid. Okay, because obviously,

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like sometimes it was hard for him to get there. Right. And, and I sort of lateral SLM, initially, he gave him

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like an dispensation. But as he was leaving Rasulullah, Salah Salem called him back and asked him, can you hear the oven from your house? And he said, Yes. Then he said, then respond to the Amman respond to it. In other words, you know, do your best to come, you should come, right. So it shows you that even for a blind person, that sort of lots and lots of them, didn't just make it like a

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easy thing for him to just not attend, you know,

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he told him Do your best, like, you know, find the means to come and do come. So.

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And I think the reason why it's important for us as women to know this is, this is what we should be instilling in, especially our sons, right? And the menfolk around us, and we should be facilitating for them to be able to attend the masjid as much as possible. And we shouldn't think of it as like, Oh, you know, it's time away from home or time away from us, and family and stuff like that. Believe me, all of these things that last kind of that Allah has instituted, there are so many benefits, and there's so much hikma in it, you know, it helps the men to connect with each other, for example, apart from the fact that they connect with Allah, I'm just saying some other potential benefits,

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right, connect with each other as men, and that I think that's very important for men and boys to be able to do you know, and then it helps them to know what's going on in the community. Right? It reminds them that there's more to life and family. Because sometimes, you know, when you're with your family and the problems of home and the demands,

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and you can, it's almost like you become immersed. And so it's almost as though a lot of the Allah wants to take them away from that to somewhere where they can reconnect with their higher purpose, right.

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Those are just some of the things that come to mind. But I think, you know, that and also just the whole unity of the Omar, that again, the community, knowing what's going on with your brothers and sisters, especially, you know, no Muslim brothers and sisters, I think all of that is very important. So we should encourage them as much as possible to,

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you know, be able to, especially if they can hear the alarm, they should definitely respond. If you're not in a country or a place where you can hear the other one. Still, you know, especially the fudger prayer and the Isha prayer, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam really emphasized them. For praying in JAMA, he said he wish he could burn down the houses of the people who didn't attend the fudger and Isha prayer.

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Because, you know, those were two prayers that sometimes people thought were difficult to attend the masjid. He really expressed in very strong terms, that especially the fudger and Asia prayer,

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and so, you know, if we're living in the West somewhere where the masjid is not that close, whatever, at least we can encourage our menfolk to attend

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the fraudulent Isha prayer. And if even that is not possible, then to try to institute Gemma in the house, right? Institute Gemma in the house, it takes a bit of organization and it can be a bit stressful to arrange it five times. But believe me, it's, it's, it's good. You know, it's it builds their, the unity of the family. And also it gives them that sense of discipline, right.

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So I just wanted to highlight that.

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Okay, um, the other thing I wanted to say to you is that, you know, I'm really not going to answer your question.

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about each of these 70 major sins, because if I do that, first of all, I haven't revised, you know, said all those 70 topics in terms of the fifth behind them, right?

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That would be a massive task, maybe one day, we will but

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and also, in order to get through the 70 the priority for this class is to get through the 70. And for us all to know about those 70 sins, when it comes to the details, like does this apply to you or, you know, all the little details, like for example, zakka Herge, the fit behind it, and your particular personal situation, you've got to take that away to another person, or outside this class. And, you know, seek advice regarding that, because we here, we just want to establish in this class that it's obligatory, right? Or that it's a major sin not to do this, etc.

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The details of that, I'm going to leave up to you to go and research so if there's some general question, that's fine, but I think if it comes when it comes to like really specific questions and questions to do with fic, please take them you know, to a share or you could even email me and we can take it outside the class in Sharla.

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Okay, so, major sin number seven is thermocool hace muy Luca della t la he not going on her edge, so abandoning her edge while having the ability to do so. So like you could go on Hajj, but you don't.

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Okay, and Allah Subhana Allah

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tells us in the Quran

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well, Illa Allah naseeha jewel Beatty minister Ba La Sevilla omenka farofa in Allah honey on analy Allah mean, that pilgrimage is a duty that people owe to Allah.

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Who could those who could afford the journey,

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but if any deny faith,

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so those who reject and those who disbelieve, Allah stands not in need of any of his creatures. So in this ayah of Quran, Allah subhanaw taala commands us

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with the obligation of

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Hajj and of course, we know that it's one of the five pillars, right? The five essential things that every Muslim has to do.

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So what does it mean to have the ability,

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okay, it basically means having the physical and financial ability, if you have the physical ability, and you have the finite physical meaning you're able to get there, right.

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And financial ability you can afford to get there you can afford for you have the surplus money, basically, after all the absolute essentials are covered, and your obligations are covered, and debts are paid, okay? The money you have surplus,

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if it's enough for how much and you should go on how much

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if a person to hear it says if a person has a debt, and he does not have enough money to do both Hajj and pay off the debt, then the debt becomes First, the debt comes first. And so that means the head is not obligatory on that person yet. Do you see? So it's only until you have the physical and financial ability, that it becomes obligatory before that it's not obligatory.

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And also what is meant by financially able is that he should have enough for his family until he returned. And he should have an income after he returns to take care of himself and those on whom he spends, such as rent from property, a salary and business earnings. So in other words, if you have some kind of capital or something that is you rely on for your daily expenditure. It doesn't.

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You're not required to liquidate that. Right? You're not you're not required to basically,

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you know,

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basically spend all your money in such a way that when you come back, you don't you don't know what you're going to do in terms of rent and stuff like that. Okay, so this is about having enough in a reasonable way to be able to do it. And for women.

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The additional thing that a woman will need is

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To have a matter of a maharam a man, a male relative who is closely related to her, someone she can't marry like her as well. She's already married to her husband, right? So for example, your husband, your

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son, a brother,

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an uncle who's a maharam, like your mother's brothers, or your father's brothers.

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Um, it could even be a grandson. It could be a father could be grandfather.

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So all the morons, right?

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If she has a matter on who's able to go, and she can physically and financially go, then it becomes obligatory on the woman. But if she doesn't have a Mahara, okay, so say you have a lot of money, you can go you've got ability to go. And obviously you physically can go because you can pay for you know, the travel and everything is physically possible for you to go.

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if you don't have a My room is ready to go with you. Because for whatever reason, right?

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Then it's not obligatory on you to go yet.

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It's only a bigotry as a woman once there is a maharam who is able to go, okay.

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The husband's permission is not essential, is not an essential condition

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for a woman to go on her obligatory hedge, right? So in a lifetime, only one hedge is obligatory. You don't have to do more than that. If you do more than that, and of course, that's good. But it's not. That's not the obligatory hedge now, yeah. But for the obligatory hedge.

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It's not essential for a woman even to seek husband's permission, because

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she's obliged to do the Hajj as soon as the conditions of

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of Hajj being obligatory upon her are met.

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So even if her husband doesn't give her permission, if for example, evolve is willing to take her

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and she's got the money, she's got the ability,

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she should go. Okay.

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hope that's clear. However, if it's enough, he'll

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hedge right.

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And enough field trip like supererogatory, otherwise not the obligatory one, then of course, she has to have husband's permission for that, right. This is we're talking about this one. This is the hedge that you owe to Allah, the Hajj that you owe to Allah.

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Okay, hope that's clear. We're going to move on quickly, you know, through

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as many of the major sins as we can so that we cover all of them, because there's a lot of them right.

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Major sin number eight, who can validate disrespect towards the parents?

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Allah Subhana Allah tells us in the Quran, or cadore, Rob Booker, Booker, Allah, Abu Illa, Yahuwah, Bill, validate any Asana, that your Lord has decreed that you worship none but him.

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And do good Do your parents do son with your parents, right, which is a deal in a way of excellence.

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If any one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them off.

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In other words, a very the smallest type of expression of anger or contempt.

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And do not scold them and address them with respectful words. So Pamela, and you know, there's so many ions in the Quran, where Allah Subhana Allah talks about, don't, do not worship other than Allah, and be good to your parents. It comes together, right?

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But we're just touching on one or two.

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And Allah Subhana Allah says into a look, man.

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What we're saying al insana, beware Li d e hammer. Let's move one and one another one. While we saw Lu v.

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Mainly anishka Lee Valley worli de la el Mercia, Allah says, and we have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and good to his parents, his mother bore him in the weakness and hardship,

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upon weakness and hardship, and his winning is in two years, give thanks to me and to your parents. On to me is the final destination.

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But if they pressure you to associate with me what you have no knowledge of, in other words, to commit shark, okay, if they, in other words, if your parents are not Muslims, and they encourage you to do acts of disbelief, right?

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do not obey them.

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But even even still keep

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keep their company in this world in a, in a nice way,

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and follow the way of those who turn to me in devotion to me, you will all return and then I will inform you of what you used to do.

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Okay, so, again, this enormous emphasis on

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being good to parents. And not only that, but Allah subhanaw taala is emphasizing and telling us, look what your mom did for you, you know,

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she carried you.

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And she gave birth to you weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship word and another one.

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And I heard some of the scholars, you know, they say that, the reason why Allah kind of emphasizes this.

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One of the reasons is that, you know, we don't remember that time, right? We don't remember what our parents did for us, in the time when we were at our most vulnerable, and our most needy. And so it's very easy for us to take that for granted. It's very easy for us to take for granted what our parents did for us.

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And Subhanallah, sometimes you hear brothers and sisters so harsh towards their parents in terms of how they view the way their parents brought them up. Right. And it's so easy to be judgmental of your parents, right? If only they had either No, to send you to a better school, if only they had

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had more knowledge. If only they had been nicer to you. If only they you'd been the favorite child. You know, there's so many things that unfortunately, people can

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resent their parents for. Okay. But you see, that's, that's incredibly ungrateful. Ultimately, that's incredibly ungrateful. Because

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you have no idea what your parents went through for you.

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You have no idea what they went through, and most parents won't even tell you. They won't even talk about it. Right. And I think for most brothers and sisters, once they become a parent themselves, they realize how easy it is to be,

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how hard it is to be a parent, and how easy it is to take for granted what your parents did for you. Right?

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And believe me, all of us, our children, you know, when they grow up,

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there are going to be things they wish that we'd done differently. It's just the way human experience is right.

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But the point is that the relationship between the child and a parent, the main emotion, I would say that they should be towards your parents is that of gratitude is that of gratitude, even if they weren't nice parents,

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even if they were not particularly nice parents.

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Just the fact that your life and your existence depended on them is enough to mean that they deserve your good treatment

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and your gratitude.

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And Allah subhanaw taala is telling us you know, of course, there's no obedience to your parents, if they are asking you to disobey Allah. Right? But even if that's happening, and for most of us, it's not going to be shared, right? I mean, our parents are not going to ask us to do anything like that. But there could be other things. For example, they might encourage, you know, if they're not particularly practicing, they might say

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For example, to assisted, they might say stop wearing hijab, that happens quite commonly right? Or they might say to their son, you know,

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don't grow your beard, or don't do this or don't do that, you know, stuff that they, if they're maybe from a particular cultural leaning or they think that it's it's not going to be beneficial for you materially, sometimes parents, they say these types of things, right? Don't be too religious, you know, that kind of thing. Sometimes you hear

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that stuff. You can.

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You don't have to obey. You shouldn't be, of course, right. You still should obey Allah, Allah still comes first is no obedience, your parents in disobedience to Allah.

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But at the same time, even if, even despite that, you still do it in a good way. Right? Still have to treat them properly.

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And some of the ahaadeeth there's so many but we're just going to mention three here.

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Allah, pleasure is in

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your parent's pleasure. And his anger is in their anger.

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So as a just a general rule of thumb, if your parents are happy with you, Allah will be happy with you. If your parents are angry with you, Allah will be angry with you. Now, as I said, that doesn't mean if they were asking you to do something wrong, right? Of course. We mean, in general, right.

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And especially if your parents are pious people, they're good people.

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Another Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim A man came and sought permissive permission for jihad, fighting in the way of Allah. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked him, Are your parents alive?

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And the man said yes. He said, then carry on jihad in service to your parents, as this is as good as jihad.

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Okay, so obviously, this must have been a Jihad that was not obligatory. I don't know the full details of why the prophets have said this to this young man. Okay.

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But can you imagine so panela being in service to your parents, the profits are so low equated to jihad.

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The highest one of the highest.

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The highest thing that a person can do right?

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Is fight in the way of Allah. Abdullah ibn Massoud radi Allahu anhu said, I asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, which did his best. He said, prayer offered on time.

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Just a minute, my serious scream

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Blood and muscle that are the Lang Who said I asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam which deed is best. He said prayer offered on time. I said then what he said honoring one's parents. I said then what he said Jihad for the sake of Allah, again in Bukhari and Muslim.

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As you can see this emphasis. So what does it mean? a cuckold? Why, what is disrespect? to parents? That is the major sin that we're talking about. What does that actually mean? And how do you honor your parents?

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Here are just some thoughts I wanted to share with you.

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One that is very emphasized is Don't raise your voice to your parents.

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You do not raise your voice to your parents. And by the way, I'm going to emphasize this as well. Don't let your children get into the habit of doing this stuff with you. Right? Because especially growing up in the West, you know, so panela

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a lot of young people, they're not brought up to think that actually you're not equal to an adult. You have to respect your elders. No. And you have to instill that in the next generation. It's not going to just come naturally to them, right? It's not just going to come naturally. So sometimes you see like an adult. I remember I saw this Auntie, she's quite elderly. And her son, adult son was literally shouting out. Okay, and just had terrible manners when it came to his mother and his, especially his mother. And I just thought to myself, so panela like, it shows you. You can't take it for granted that your children will be respectful. You know,

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You have to instill that in them. And you have to role model it with the way you are with your parents. Because children really notice the way we treat our parents. You know, I remember, as a child, my, my grandparents came from India, to live with us in the UK for a few months. And it was the first time we met them properly, and they were very elderly.

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And I'll never forget the way my dad treated them. And my mom, you know, my mum put her in laws on such a pedestal in the sense that she gave them so much respect, you know, even though there were some things that must have been quite inconvenient that she would have had to do, right. But she was patient because she saw that you the importance of service to your elders, you know,

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my father he used to, he wouldn't sit at the same level as his parents.

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So panela like, literally, he would sit on the floor. If his parents were sitting on the sofa. He wouldn't like to be above his parents. And you know, my dad is quite a, he's a Mufti, right. He's like, he's got status in the community. But when it came to his parents, he was like a child, he humbled himself. And I really saw that with my own eyes, the way he humbled himself, he spoke in their language, like, they have a certain accent or a certain ledger that they use, right, like, not all to do something. I think it's called Barbie, right. And instead of

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forcing them to meet him at his way of speaking, He humbled Himself, and he's to speak in a way that is very easy for them to understand and talk to them in a very, very humble way. So panela, and sometimes we've lost that, you know, our generations lost that. So we can we learn a lot from the way the previous generation taught, treated the elder, especially the pious amongst them.

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And so that's really the essence not to raise your voice to them, not to upset them. Okay.

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Avoid the smallest rebuke. So in that idea, you know, it says don't say off to them yet. Ah, like, as if you're annoyed by them, right? Or even a look of rebuke whatever the littlest thing is, the scholar said, even if there was a word, or if there was a way of describing something less than

00:32:46 --> 00:32:47

Allah would have chosen.

00:32:48 --> 00:32:57

So what is meant by off is the littlest thing that shows annoyance. Don't do that towards your parents.

00:32:59 --> 00:33:15

And now that might seem easy. When your parents are healthy, and well, and you know, everything is fine. But what about when they become elderly? What if they become ill? What if you have to look after them? Right?

00:33:16 --> 00:33:19

What if they develop certain illnesses that

00:33:20 --> 00:33:32

require a lot of patience on your part, right, this is all going to come into play, especially in those types of times, you know, but this is general, obviously,

00:33:33 --> 00:33:47

avoid anything that causes them negative feelings, basically. Right? Even if you're not going to do something the way they want it done. Do it in a nice way, convince them, you know, bring them along with you.

00:33:50 --> 00:34:11

Don't get annoyed with them. You know, sometimes as people become elderly, they repeat the same story again and again, for example, or they have certain habits, they don't want to change that you can see, probably they should change, you know, it will make things better, make their own life easier, but they don't.

00:34:12 --> 00:34:20

It's not for you to control and change your parents. That's not your job. Your job is to accept them as they are,

00:34:21 --> 00:34:37

of course, help them to be better if you can, in a gentle way. But it's not your job to tell your parents off, to correct them. Etc, etc. Right? Try to say yes, as much as possible.

00:34:39 --> 00:34:55

Try to say yes, as much as possible. So your mom phones, you, she wants you to come around. She wants you to go with her shopping, she needs help with something, whatever, whatever whatever, whatever it is. Try to say yes, let your default be yes.

00:34:56 --> 00:34:59

And then work out how you're going to make it happen. Do you see

00:35:00 --> 00:35:05

Like other things can be moved around. But try to say yes to your parents.

00:35:08 --> 00:35:11

Give them all of your time, attention and energy.

00:35:13 --> 00:35:30

Right? Think about all the things we give time, attention and energy to. And we're so easy, giving our time attention and energy to friends, sometimes friends who are not even related to us, give them more attention and energy, then our own family members, our own parents.

00:35:32 --> 00:35:37

were willing to move things out of our diary for other things. What about your parents?

00:35:40 --> 00:35:49

And I would like to emphasize attention, because one of the bad habits that our generation and the next generation has is

00:35:50 --> 00:35:54

mobile phones, right? Like you're sitting with your parents.

00:35:56 --> 00:36:20

Make it a must, that your phone is not there. When you're in your parents presence, put your phone away, don't have headphones in your ears. And that kind of thing. Why? Because give them that respect. Right? give them that feeling that you are giving them your full attention while you are with them. Okay, have plenty of time to

00:36:21 --> 00:36:57

attend to your phone attend to other things, right. But when you're with them, let them have that human connection. And everything I'm saying here is No, I'm saying it so that we instill this into our children as well. Right? Because like I said, I don't think being respectful to parents comes naturally doesn't necessarily come naturally. You have to instill it, you have to demand it sometimes, especially of kids of our times, right? know you don't speak that way to us, right? You can't speak like that to us, you can't answer us back.

00:36:59 --> 00:37:11

And we do have to emphasize these things. Because look at society around us. Look at the society around us the normals. abandon your parents, once you get to a certain age, right?

00:37:12 --> 00:37:21

The norm is not to feel a huge sense of responsibility towards them, financially or in any other kind of way.

00:37:22 --> 00:37:24

Right. So

00:37:25 --> 00:37:29

I think it's really important that we instill that in them.

00:37:30 --> 00:37:33

And make them happy as much as you can make them smile.

00:37:35 --> 00:37:57

Remember that there are for you is priceless, there to offer you is priceless. The reason why I want to emphasize this is you know, sometimes we think we might be putting other things before our parents thinking that those things are going to grant us success. Those things are going to help us in whatever area of our life, whatever.

00:37:58 --> 00:38:08

But what if you did something for your parents that pleased them so much, that they made one special to offer you?

00:38:09 --> 00:38:27

Subhanallah? How much do you think that was worth? So many brothers and sisters, they can attribute their successes and certain things, certain blessings that just came into their life to the daughter of their parents.

00:38:28 --> 00:38:37

You know, so you don't know the secret effect that the daughter of your parents is having on your life? Right?

00:38:38 --> 00:38:54

Perhaps Allah Subhana Allah is sending certain people into your life, sending certain opportunities, perhaps a large part of that is putting blessing in your risk because your mum makes the offer you for that. Right? Etc, etc. So try to get there to us.

00:38:57 --> 00:39:20

Um, yeah, and I just want to emphasize, you know, we live in a culture where, especially when it comes to like psychology and psychiatry, and of course, like, you know, I'm not, I'm not giving anyone like, mental health advice here. But I'm just saying Generally, the general trend is to look into your childhood and see what went wrong. Right.

00:39:21 --> 00:39:30

That's how like psychotherapy often works, right? Look into your childhood, what went wrong? What experiences Did you have that basically messed you up right?

00:39:32 --> 00:39:34

Now, that's one way of looking at things.

00:39:36 --> 00:39:50

But sometimes what that can do for some people is it makes them very negative towards their parents. And you don't want that to be the result. You know, what you want to do is you want to frame

00:39:51 --> 00:39:59

everything that's happened to you, especially everything your parents did for you, in as positive way as you can. You know, so

00:40:00 --> 00:40:01

I just give you a little example.

00:40:02 --> 00:40:05

I remember, you know, there was something

00:40:06 --> 00:40:17

that happened, even in my own life. And I would sometimes think, I wish my dad had done this, or I wish he'd done this, I put, I wish he put more effort into that, or I wish.

00:40:18 --> 00:40:46

And one day, I was just sitting and thinking about that thing. And I realized how much effort my dad had put into helping me to do that thing. Right? And how difficult it must have been, in his time, when there was no internet, when there was no, so many things, right? For him to have done that thing, and what kind of pressures he was under, in terms of financial pressures that we don't have, right?

00:40:48 --> 00:41:36

That meant that whatever he did, it was actually amazing that he did it. And I think most of us, if we were to reflect on our parents, and how amazing their journey has been, you know, if they came to this country, in to Western country, they often didn't know the language, they had to learn everything from scratch, they did their best for us, you know. So if you can frame that relationship in as positive away as you can, and bring out as much gratitude and because for most of us, there is a lot of reason to be grateful. Right. And it's only shaytan, who makes us think about things in a negative way, and makes us blame, you know, things on our parents know, our parents did the best for

00:41:36 --> 00:41:46

most of us, our parents did the best they could with the knowledge they had and the resources they had. And if you think about it, you can't ask a human being to do more than that.

00:41:47 --> 00:41:50

Right? If they didn't have the knowledge,

00:41:51 --> 00:42:08

you can't blame them for that. If they didn't have the resources, you can't blame them for that. For most of us, like I said, Our parents did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had. And the only appropriate emotion is gratitude. Right?

00:42:11 --> 00:42:22

So what if your parents have passed away? You know, how can you be a pious child towards your parents, if they've passed away? Well,

00:42:23 --> 00:42:33

some of the things that you can bear in mind is if you have the means, then you can pay off any debts that they had. Right?

00:42:34 --> 00:42:35

You can discharge

00:42:37 --> 00:42:38

any kind of

00:42:39 --> 00:42:42

So typically, you know, when somebody passes away,

00:42:44 --> 00:43:03

when the children go, and they find out the financial situation, you know, if there were any debts, you should pay them off, do anything that kind of like sorting out your parents business, you know, after they have passed away. It could mean sorting out their house, you know,

00:43:04 --> 00:43:06

it could mean sorting out their belongings

00:43:07 --> 00:43:30

and also honor and visit their relatives and friends. So one of the ways to continue serving your parents after they've passed away, is, you know, the, the relatives that were important to them. Or even if they weren't important to them, their actual relatives like their brothers and sisters, they're whoever their relatives are close relatives.

00:43:31 --> 00:43:44

Keep the relations with them. And any friends that they used to keep contact with, keep relations with that person, you know, go and talk to them, treat them the way you would have treated your parents.

00:43:46 --> 00:43:53

If you have wealth, and your parents had not performed Pudge, you could also perform Hajj on their behalf.

00:43:55 --> 00:44:02

Okay, all you can pay for somebody else to perform Hajj on their behalf because that's the type of thing that they owe to Allah right.

00:44:04 --> 00:44:05


00:44:07 --> 00:44:09

also, of course make dua for them.

00:44:10 --> 00:44:12

Always make good off of them for their forgiveness

00:44:14 --> 00:44:16

for Allah have mercy on them.

00:44:18 --> 00:44:29

And the special go out and Docker and Allah tells us to make for our parents is Robert hum humor came out Rob Bayani salia Oh Allah Oh my Lord,

00:44:30 --> 00:44:32

have mercy upon them.

00:44:34 --> 00:44:47

As they had mercy on me when I was little when I was young, so just keep saying this. I've been hammered home I come out of biani severe a bit hum Houma. Can I or bionis over here

00:44:50 --> 00:44:54

and of course do is one of the one of the most important things because

00:44:55 --> 00:44:59

when our parents when when we were our parents are lying in

00:45:00 --> 00:45:11

When a person is lying in his grave, right? All of his deeds are cut off now all his deeds are cut off except we know as Rasul Allah Azza wa sallam told us for three things, right?

00:45:13 --> 00:45:27

sadaqa jariya as a ongoing sadaqa. Okay, that's another thing you could do, right? Give sadaqa on behalf of your parents. And if it's something that's an ongoing, so that part and they will get ongoing reward for that.

00:45:30 --> 00:45:34

And what was the other one knowledge that he left behind that continues to benefit people?

00:45:36 --> 00:45:41

And the last is a pious child who makes the air for him?

00:45:42 --> 00:45:50

Right? That's one of the greatest investments your parents made in this life. Is you as a child. So

00:45:51 --> 00:45:53

make the offer them right.

00:45:58 --> 00:46:01

In this Hadith, the prophet SAW Selim explained

00:46:03 --> 00:46:18

from sod, even Ababa he narrated that his mother passed away when he was absent. And he said O Messenger of Allah, my mother has died while I was absent, will it benefit her if I give in charity on her behalf?

00:46:19 --> 00:46:20

He said, Yes.

00:46:21 --> 00:46:36

He said, I asked you to bear witness that my garden that bears fruit is a charity on her behalf. Okay, so he gave his garden in charity. So all the fruit that would be born from that garden would have been given to,

00:46:37 --> 00:46:39

you know, the poor etc.

00:46:43 --> 00:47:01

And with regards to hedge, their sort of loss on Allahu alayhi wa sallam said to what a person who asked him about how much do you think that if your mother had a debt, you would pay it off for her? She said yes, he said a debt owed to Allah is more deserving of being paid off.

00:47:02 --> 00:47:02


00:47:12 --> 00:47:13

Another to offer parents

00:47:15 --> 00:47:20

rubbish Ernie mockery masala tea woman Berea to burn our talkable

00:47:21 --> 00:47:34

Robin Finley Valley Well, today Yeah, well in momineen Yo, Maya Kumar is up, my lord. Make me a person who establishes the Salah, such a beautiful daughter

00:47:36 --> 00:47:43

and my progeny. My children and my children's children make them people who establish the solar

00:47:44 --> 00:47:50

then Robert our talkable dot O Allah except my dog

00:47:51 --> 00:48:00

robina filly while he while he there? Oh my Lord, forgive me and my parents. Yeah, while they are both parents

00:48:01 --> 00:48:08

and the Muslims, all the believers, yo, my Oppo Melissa on the day when account is made.

00:48:09 --> 00:48:23

So this is another beautiful day from the Quran. very comprehensive. You're making blood for yourself for all your descendants going forward. And your parents behind you right.

00:48:25 --> 00:48:28

And all of the believers as well. So panela

00:48:29 --> 00:48:43

so it's a very comprehensive beautiful day. I hope we can all memorize it or be Johnny up masala tea woman Maria tea robina, walkable, urban Ophelia Valley Valley, de Menil,

00:48:44 --> 00:48:45

Yama, yahoomail hisa.

00:48:51 --> 00:48:51


00:48:53 --> 00:48:59

I think I'm going to leave this one for next time burdening one's relatives

00:49:00 --> 00:49:04

as a major sin, and I just want to go back to the hedge, right.

00:49:06 --> 00:49:09

And I just want to say that sometimes.

00:49:11 --> 00:49:15

Sometimes there might be elderly people in our lives, who

00:49:16 --> 00:49:22

could do hudge they've got the wealth, they've got the ability, but they're procrastinating, you know.

00:49:23 --> 00:49:45

So we should encourage them to do it. We should encourage them, we should help them as well. We should be willing to go with them, for example, etc. And it kind of shows you, you know, sometimes when you see elderly people, when you go on HUD, you see a lot of very elderly people, maybe they saved up all their life to come. Or maybe they procrastinated all their life, right. And then they came

00:49:46 --> 00:49:59

and it's obviously harder, right? When you're elderly. So it kind of goes to show that we should make it a priority in our own lives. You know, usually like my mom, she was used to say that

00:50:00 --> 00:50:16

You know, in your life, you have times of wealth and times of ups and downs when it comes to finance, right? You have times when you have a lot of wealth. And people, usually when their wealth is more, they kind of forget

00:50:17 --> 00:50:33

that one day, they might not have that same situation, right? So while you have the means, take advantage and make your hedge, make your hedge, right? People just think, Wow, such a huge amount of money, right?

00:50:35 --> 00:50:37

Try to find a hedge that you can afford.

00:50:38 --> 00:50:47

And make it as soon as you can, even if it's a big investment, because it's like a big obligation that's off your shoulders, right.

00:50:50 --> 00:51:14

But if you have elderly relatives, and they are procrastinating and stuff, it might be worth very nicely, very gently sitting down with them and telling them some of these habits, you know, because you don't want them to pass away. And they didn't fulfill that how much or they didn't, you know, fulfill an obligation.

00:51:15 --> 00:51:18

Because it is like a debt. It's basically a debt to Allah. Right.

00:51:20 --> 00:51:27

So I'm just gonna look at any questions that you guys might have in the last five, four minutes.

00:51:36 --> 00:51:39

Okay. Somebody's saying that

00:51:40 --> 00:51:41

first cousin passed away.

00:51:42 --> 00:51:46

May Allah on agenda. I mean,

00:51:49 --> 00:52:00

she wasn't married, no children, what can I do for you? So I think we mentioned some of those things you can do, right? Give sadaqa make dua for that person.

00:52:02 --> 00:52:03

Those are the main things really

00:52:11 --> 00:52:13

have any other questions anyone has?

00:52:22 --> 00:52:23

The law we've reached?

00:52:28 --> 00:52:29

Anyone knows cheap.

00:52:33 --> 00:52:37

When I went on holiday, it was only 1000 pounds. Can you believe it?

00:52:38 --> 00:52:41

In 1999, I believe?

00:52:42 --> 00:52:43

Or 2000?

00:52:44 --> 00:52:47

Via 2000? It was like 1000 pounds?

00:52:48 --> 00:52:50

Or may actually no, no, maybe it was 2000.

00:52:52 --> 00:52:57

way less than what it is now. So panela. So you see every edge just keeps getting more.

00:53:17 --> 00:53:22

When she died in 2010 and her kids are orphans. What can I do?

00:53:24 --> 00:53:27

Honestly, I don't know the exact situation. But

00:53:29 --> 00:53:37

looking after orphans is like a great deed, right? Be involved get interested in in their life, if you can

00:53:39 --> 00:53:44

make sure their needs are met. Make sure the Islamic phobia is intact.

00:53:52 --> 00:54:29

I don't know what the latest prices are, unfortunately. And look, look, even the fact that there was a pandemic, right, it means that for some people say they might have had the money, and they might have had the ability to go. But because but having the ability to go. It also means from the Saudi end, right? Like if if Saudi Arabia has shut it down because of the pandemic, it means that it's not obligatory on you now, for that time period, right. Once it opens again, if you still have the means, then it means you have the ability to go right.

00:54:35 --> 00:54:37

If you are unable to find a maharam

00:54:39 --> 00:54:59

that is willing to go with you on Hajj. Is this no longer? Yeah, yeah, that's what we said. So the condition for women is that there shouldn't be a maharam who's able to come as well. Like if you can pay for the maharam if you've got that much money that you can pay for them at home, and

00:55:00 --> 00:55:07

yourself, you know, then fine, then then it's definitely obligatory on you. And, and, and the maximum can go.

00:55:09 --> 00:55:11

But if you can't, you can only pay for yourself,

00:55:12 --> 00:55:20

then it matters if the matter um can't afford it right? And if the maximum is available, and if they want, if they're going to do it,

00:55:21 --> 00:55:39

that has to all be aligned. Now, you don't have to pay for your own hedge, right? If you're married, for example, and your husband is happy to, for you both to go and hedge or your father or whatever, right? And that's fine. That's fine as well, right.

00:55:40 --> 00:55:44

But sometimes sisters do have money, they do have the means, right?

00:55:45 --> 00:55:59

They do have gold and things like this. So it's not about hoarding that right, it means that if you've got the ability to use some of that towards the hedge, and then it is obligatory on you.

00:56:12 --> 00:56:12


00:56:18 --> 00:56:44

So I think that one of this is saying, What if the maharam has already fulfilled their HUD requirement? So obviously, like, if they've got a, if they're feeling generous, and generally speaking, people want to do hard again and again, right, if they can afford it, so if they can do that, they should and it will be good. But again, until you've got somebody who's willing to do that, it wouldn't be obligatory on you.

00:56:51 --> 00:56:55

Are there things which are limited to Muslim parents who have passed away?

00:57:01 --> 00:57:02

That's a good question.

00:57:04 --> 00:57:04


00:57:08 --> 00:57:10

you mean things like silica, right?

00:57:13 --> 00:57:16

I know for sure that you're not supposed to do if,

00:57:18 --> 00:57:23

well, if a person has more Muslim parents, while they're alive, you can make as much as you want for them.

00:57:24 --> 00:57:31

While they're alive, you can make as much as you want for them for lots of guide them, etc, etc. Right.

00:57:33 --> 00:57:35

But once they've passed away,

00:57:37 --> 00:57:39

you know, it changes. So.

00:57:42 --> 00:57:47

Yes, do offer forgiveness and those types of things those are for Muslim parents,

00:57:48 --> 00:57:49

when they've passed away.

00:58:01 --> 00:58:05

Okay, so get the one of the biggest questions always is

00:58:06 --> 00:58:12

the spouse versus the parents, right? Well, the general rule is for a man

00:58:13 --> 00:58:20

his mother still has that status, you know, that he should hold it in the highest regard, right?

00:58:21 --> 00:58:33

To the Hadith of the Prophet SAW Selim, who, who deserves my best companionship, my companionship most, your mother, your mother, your mother, right? And then your father.

00:58:35 --> 00:58:43

So for the man who is married, his mother is very important. Okay.

00:58:47 --> 00:58:57

His wife, he has to provide for her, he has to fulfill her rights, because he's obviously in has a marriage contract with her right. But when it comes to like,

00:58:58 --> 00:59:04

fulfilling his mother's wishes, etc, he still has to do that to the best of his ability. Right?

00:59:05 --> 00:59:07

But for the woman,

00:59:08 --> 00:59:20

once she's married, her husband becomes the number one in in her life, right? In terms of other people, okay, more important than her parents.

00:59:21 --> 00:59:28

Okay, so in other words, obedience to husband becomes more important than obedience to parents.

00:59:29 --> 00:59:40

Obviously, any nice husband is not going to help that he's not going to make a big deal and clash between that right. It's going to try and accommodate that as much as possible. But yeah, and if you're going to be

00:59:41 --> 00:59:43

if you want to know black and white, like,

00:59:45 --> 00:59:48

whose consideration Do you take first? It's your husband.

01:00:01 --> 01:00:07

What if you have enough money to go and hedge but you choose to use that to pay for your mom?

01:00:08 --> 01:00:09


01:00:11 --> 01:00:12

Well, if that money is gone now,

01:00:16 --> 01:00:20

then, you know, it's about, do you have the money now to do it?

01:00:27 --> 01:00:31

Yep, you don't have a maharam, then you may not, you don't have a macro at all,

01:00:33 --> 01:00:35

then how'd you would not be obligatory on you?

01:00:37 --> 01:00:43

Okay, some scholars say that women can go in a group of women, right?

01:00:45 --> 01:00:47

Or with a group.

01:00:48 --> 01:00:49


01:00:53 --> 01:00:58

technically, it's not obligatory on you, if you don't have on my home for you to go.

01:01:04 --> 01:01:06

I mean, I'll make it easy for you to go.

01:01:15 --> 01:01:17

Can orphans live by themselves?

01:01:20 --> 01:01:28

Well, if they're adults, they're allowed to make their own decisions, right? They're islamically adults. And they're able to

01:01:30 --> 01:01:34

of course, it's good for parent for family members to stay involved.

01:01:39 --> 01:01:47

Yeah, I mean, if your mom is elderly, and it will be tough for them. If you can make it as easy as possible, then do so. You know?

01:01:48 --> 01:01:53

Like, if you can help them by get getting a wheelchair for them,

01:01:54 --> 01:01:56

etc, etc. That's one way I guess.

01:01:58 --> 01:02:08

Um, so inshallah, we've come to the end, and I don't want to take any more time because there might be another class after me. So does Aquila hair and next time we're going to do

01:02:10 --> 01:02:11

family, right.

01:02:15 --> 01:02:20

Abandoning relatives, and the one after that is seen most often.

01:02:24 --> 01:02:37

fornication and adultery. I think I haven't. I haven't prepared the slides yet. I'm just looking ahead. And then *. Okay. So, but all of those two that for today.

01:02:38 --> 01:03:06

I hope you're finding the class interesting. Hope you're benefiting from the class. For me, it's been very eye opening because sometimes some of these things you forget about right? Like put it to the back of your head, especially some of the ones that are going to come later. And so just sakana hiren please keep joining us. The video is going to be uploaded but I think you will agree that there's something nice about attending live right? So it is Aquila hierin. See you next week, next Sunday.

01:03:08 --> 01:03:17

subhanak Allahu mo behind the shadow Allah Illa Illa and stuff it'll go on to be like Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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