Channel: Faith IQ
Shaykh Abu Eesa explains in detail.
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My parents are forcing me to get married to my cousin, what do I do?
You know how the old joke goes, right? There's husband and wife getting divorced, and they're at the court. And then they come out of the court. And you know, he's kind of looking down and she's, you know, the whole emotional crying her eyes out. And he turns to her, and he says, hey, look, on the bright side, at least we're still cousins.
and stuff like that is not funny if you are facing this situation right now. But it's funny because to be honest, someone from my culture, the South Asian culture, we know about this very well. It's something which is absolutely permissible, our culture does it a lot as well. It's something which is very, very common. And it's not something that we need to be ashamed about. Don't let any external ideas and theories which are unproven, be there to try and make you believe that you somehow you're doing something from the devil spawn is not the case. But at the same time, if your cousin or the person that your parents want you to marry is someone that you do not want to you
don't have a connection to, you're not even being allowed to see or somewhere baby or you are given away when you're three years old, and and and and, and, and all the usual cultural nonsense that we have to put up with. And that's a real problem.
I just want to make it clear that we mustn't always look at a difficult situation. And of course, because it's marriage, it's the rest of your life. And it's something about compatibility. But we don't always have to look at it in a negative way. We don't always have to look at it in a defeatist way. There are ways of course, to be able to convince our parents our methodology, which I cover in detail and protect this house, it's not something for a short answer here, that will allow you to try to influence your parents, it's an art to be able to influence your parents and not only is it an art, but you need to deserve to be able to be given the right to influence your parents, okay, if
you are influencing them to the wrong decision, you're not the right the only righteous type of person, then we don't want that happening. So And likewise, also, there is a detailed fit behind the issue of whether a person is commanded to marry or not. So a girl for example, she can make a complaint if she is not happy with the choice of her father, for this person, that is that she's been taught to get married to her cousin, the husband, of course doesn't need to obey the parents either. So it is actually permissible. If you want the short easy answer, then you don't need to get married to your cousin. Okay, neither does the boy and neither does the girl the girl has a right to
be asked and she should see and know and be aware and what doesn't need permission either. But do you think that's really the answer? Do you think the answer to these difficult scenario should just be a you know, to get the fuck what to say no. Or rather to actually understand why your parents want that and try to work with them to that they're happy and you're happy? What about actually trying to get their expectations and move those to a person that you can choose? So there's a lot more to this issue than just simply halal Haram. Yes, no, but this should be enough for now.