Faaik Gamieldien – 106 – Being parents and raising children

Faaik Gamieldien
AI: Summary © The transcript discusses the recent attacks on Yemen, the conflict in Yemen, and the challenges faced by parents and children. The importance of speaking to children and being a good father is emphasized, along with the need for guidance on what to do when dealing with problems. The importance of shrooming children and showing love to children is also emphasized. The segment ends with a discussion of the importance of learning to be successful in Islam and the need for people to show their love to their children and their parents.
AI: Transcript ©
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and hungry learn how to understand you know and

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when we learn human should and fusino Ballina, Mayor de la, la La,

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la de la

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la la la la la la sharika Ala Moana Chateau Mohammed and Avi de hoorah. sola. Salatu was Salam O Allah he was. He was heavy woman da da da de la meteen Abad. There are brothers and sisters in Islam. Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Allah subhanaw taala speaks to us in the Quran in certain lachemann which is a city first sure of the Holy Quran Allah says while Tina lokmanya lightmeter initially La MaMa yes good for in Mr. Yash coralina fc woman cafa in Allah running Yun Hamid circle Allah

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Allah, Allah says that he had given look man was the

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best gift that allows Mohan tala can be stone any person is to give him wisdom.

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And we will see the kind of wisdom which allows pantalla had bestowed

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on Nebula C'mon, Allah salatu salam. So the whole lecture today inshallah will be about the advice of Lockman, to his son.

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But before I go there, I just want to make a comment, which I haven't done for a long time

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on developments in the Middle East,

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maybe three or four minutes of your time.

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Of course, y'all see the news. And you all read the news. And you all see what's happening in Yemen, particularly now Yemen is now under the spotlight.

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And as Galloway says, one of the British parliamentarians He says his most amazing thing is, and before I go to comment on that, I want to say that

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the Saudis in the audience, we recognize the good work that the government of Saudi Arabia is doing by rebuilding the haramein and all the other good things they do as a, as a government and as a kingdom as a nation.

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But what is happening in Yemen,

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is something very strange. I never knew, for example, that Saudi Arabia is such a big Air Force. I never knew that. They had airplanes and pilots. And you could actually fly away from Saudi Arabia and bomb another country. I

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mean, this is this was this was quite new to me, because we had Gaza being bombed to smithereens by the Israelis. and Saudi Arabia didn't say not even a bullet to protect the Gazans. Now, we hear that they got airplanes and they got an A take an Air Force, and they they bombing left, right and center in, in Santa in harden in all the places in Yemen, and they killed so many civilians. But when it came to protecting, possesses a strange part of it, the reason that Saudi Arabia one of the reasons they bombing the Houthis, is because the Houthis are a Shia, and they see the bigger conflagration in the Middle East as a war between the Shia and the Sunni. As one of the one of the side issues in

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Iraq, it is with the Sunnis and the Shia. In Syria, it is Sunni and Shia, also known Yemen, this ugly thing has raised its head between Shia and Sunni. But yeah, we have Gaza, which was a completely Sunni country. I mean, if the idea is to protect the so called Sudanese, against the onslaught of the Shia, then I would have expected that Saudi Arabia would have come to the aid of at least the Palestinians.

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But it said that we live in a world where

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even countries like Saudi Arabia, one of the richest countries in the world, if not the richest country in the world, has to bow down to the West has to be a lackey to the west, has to do and listen to what the West tells us to do. And this is very sad. It's a very sad day. I think it needs to be Islam, that we can't help our own people. But when it comes to bombing others, and I mean, there's a hand behind all this, I mean, the hand is that we need to do this to destroy the not only the, the Muslims themselves as people, but we have to destroy the confidence that Muslim has in themselves. And we have to do it ourselves. I mean, Saudi Arabia's a Muslim country, Yama is a

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Muslim country, they have brotherly countries. They are the closest in terms of Deen

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In terms of Easter in terms of everything, in fact, the Arabic language was a Yemeni language. Arabic comes from Yemen, Arabic was brought to Makkah by the Yemenis. So the Yemenis are the first people to have spoken the language of Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. Today we find the opposite the least I think Saudi Arabia could have done was to stay out of the conflagration because this thing is now going to get out of hand. And we've seen it. I mean, haven't they seen what's happening in Syria? What's happening with ISIS the moment foreign power stepped into any void, it causes complete havoc, and the people who suffer are the people on the ground, the civilians in Yemen and Yemen

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already is such a poor countries heinola. It's one of the poorest countries in the world. It was one of the poorest countries in the world, that was out the war, it is not even a poorer country. What is happening now. So we asked our last panels Allah to guide our brothers in Saudi Arabia, and to make them shoot their bombs, and use the airplanes not against Muslims, but against the enemies of Islam, namely, their neighbors, our friends, and our brothers, the Palestinians are suffering to such a large, vast extent in that part of the world.

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But today, inshallah, I want to speak to you not about that. I want to speak to you about fathers and mothers and children. I thought it would be a good day today to speak about fathers and mothers and children. This is a very, very important subject. It's an important subject, because today we are confronted by different challenges as parents, we are confronted by different challenges as children.

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We are confronted internationally by different challenges locally in terms of a community we all challenge. I think sometimes we can't explain and we need to go back to our original reference, which is the Quran of our last report and we go back to that, which has come straight from he who created us and created the world. And

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if we look at certain McMahon, if you look at the history of Nabila man, he was a he was an Abyssinian us an African

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was born in Abyssinia. He traveled from he was a slave was born into slavery. And he was given freedom by Xmas and he traveled from avicennia he traveled to the Middle East.

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And he traveled to Palestine. And they he, his hikmah was noticed by none other than Aveda, who Dallas of slum we lived in a time of David and Goliath and lived in

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a slum and nobody there who saw in him this black slave from avicennia

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the quantities which allows for AD AD put into him and the main quality which online was 30 versus the quality of hikmah he had wisdom and his wisdom was of such a great benefit in that nobody would first made him a judge and they made him Chief Justice of the Muslim Empire at the time. I know what Deb nepeta who was the father of Nabhi

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let me know

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Are you

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trying to figure out you know, are you calling my name do you want water? I mean

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somebody can just say something that I can hear. Ah, Mashallah. sounds better. Imagine I should speak

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your country complain that you know, TJ Maxx and Monterey.

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Santa Monica hood was the father of this great Sulaiman allyssa Tucson.

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And this father's when a man is a llama pointed

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now below C'mon, as he is great.

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Cody, Cody, Chief Justice

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so what we're seeing that our loss of 100 Allah would at least refer some out to these qualities of Nabhi Look, man, Allah says Allah, but knowing the Quran or any of these intervention, no, in the Quran segment is mentioned that he that he was with the Buddha who then he became the chief justice that he was because allows for hunger as I said last week, and I refer to this Surah Surah lokmanya refer to five surah so last week, I said go home and look at the themes of these five surahs as extra 29 which is so wrong.

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Nobody was here last week okay, uncovered, so uncovered. And then came Sura

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city so that the room is accurate. And then can Surah 31 which is the surah which is Surah

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nakoma and the last one was sajida. So these are the facts for us. Mashallah.

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I said last night today inshallah we will concentrate a little bit on the Surah tilopa. What is Allah swana? Concentrate? What is the Allah tennis about? Look, man? How did he use his wisdom? We did what part of his wisdom that allows of a hunter considered to be the best part of his wisdom? What is the best part of his wisdom? Why is it that he was Chief Justice of of the Muslim Empire? No.

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What was the wisdom it allows for hands Allah tells us about in the Torah, from verse 13 onwards, from verse 13 to 19, you should go and read this, I'm sure you've read it already. But inshallah as part of your homework for today for the Easter weekend.

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I'm going to say don't go someplace rather read the Quran. But you know,

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that's another story.

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now we look, come on, Allah tells us about the wisdom of Look, man and how he applied his wisdom and really applies wisdom. What does Allah talk about? Allah talks about, not only what he said to his son, Allah, Allah teaches us not only what he said, the content of what he told his son, the content of the advice he gave his son, but allows wonder also gives us a lesson in how to speak to our children.

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And of course, our children should speak to us.

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And allow us to hunt Allah tells us how a child listens to a parent. There's a manner of listening, children listen to parents in a particular way, you know this, you know that sometimes that you speak to your child, and he's in another place, and you're in another place. And sometimes you speak to him about the new car that you're going to buy menu in the same place.

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Or the chocolate we're going to buy or the fact that you're going to take him to someplace we can enjoy and talk to you, and you're on the same page. But he talks to you about what did you actually want to see? Or what do you do in school today? Oh, I missed this thing. You know, I'm busy now as you know, so allows London to also teach us

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how children listen to us.

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And allows one of the teachers as

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our to speak to them,

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when to speak to them.

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And the manner of speaking to them.

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And when we look at the way that allows the handler speaks through Nabila command to his children,

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we find that Lockman spoke to his son

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study, like a friend, Father,

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like a father was a friend. Now I know, there was a time when this was taboo, you don't make a friend out of your children. Because you're not supposed to be there, and you're supposed to be there. That was in my days when I was a child. Today, no more different strokes.

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But see, now that you know, that's not even a deeper document.

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different times require different modes of operation, different ways of doing things. And today, the time has come when we have to make friends of all children.

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We have to make, we can't say well, I'm your father. So I'm not going to sit and talk to you can talk to your friends. Like my father said to me, let's be American as a country. No, go speak to your friends don't come speak to me. Now those days are gone.

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Because those days, our pain is new, our friends were and our parents are happy with the friends we have today. altona very few friends. If they do have friends, we have to be very careful as to who they associate with.

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So normally the father that we know,

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the fathers today are the following.

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He gets married, yes, children. He sits down with his wife, what does he say to his wife, I bring the money you bring them up.

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division of labor.

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You I go to work. I leave the children, your hands. You must do what you want. You must do what you should do as a matter. Of course we know that doesn't work. It doesn't work today. It doesn't work like that. Today, both parents had to be part of the rearing and raising of children. Like in the past. They say it takes a village to raise a child. today. It takes both parents to raise a child and we'll come to that later inshallah. So we know that normally then a father is used for what purpose two things are fathers used,

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too, is a money making tool and it's a disciplinary tool of your past as a school.

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I'm going to tell you about

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What you did, and your father is going to give you it finally comes down to calories. What makes you worry?

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Because it is not a 24 seven job, the father doesn't see it like that. And it shouldn't be like that. Half the problems that we deal with a social workers and

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and counselors and Imams and volunteers and chefs, is the absence of parenthood within a home.

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That all the problems that I deal with

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can be traced back to the I'm not saying they're not their fathers, they're in the mother's day, but they absent in terms of raising the child they are absent.

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And they have seen in the sense that they are not friends to their children.

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What do we tell our children, I work so hard for you to go to this particular school, I paid 3000 Rand a month, you only six years old? Well imagine how you get to this age, I have to drive you to school, I look what you do. I told you not to do that.

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The children doesn't want that.

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child doesn't want to be told that you pay for his education, that your responsibilities appearance. He wants you to be present when he needs you. When he wants to check to you. He doesn't want to become a microwave child when he comes on. The food is in the microwave, keys under the mat. Mother's gone father's gone. They're both working. That is what this is what the child

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was adding. He was a friend to his child and allows wonder child opens up when Allah talks in verse 13, of children of man Allah. Allah says

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his wife called Abby

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leibny. When do you have mindset to be some? Well, who is the Who? When the man said to son when he was giving advice to his son? And what is the next word? What is the next what is the words opening words have never been to his son? He says, Yeah, boonie

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Yeah. How does he there is a son, my beloved Son,

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Bernays, you can either with Vinay it's a very soft sounding word in Arabic B'nai B'nai, my beloved son.

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this is the way that our law firm tells us to address our children.

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When you call them by the name, Hey, come here.

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Hey, don't do that.

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Sometimes when you save 20s or you forget your children's names, but really now if you still have you shouldn't forget the names you should call them by the names I know I've got so many grandchildren I forget the name.

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But then I'm allowed that as a grandfather.

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But he was a dad should call your children back and call them by the full names.

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Always call your children Why? Because

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your children's friends will call them by the name that you call them by

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and your child will tell is made to school. My mother and father call me by my name will Hamad

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not know this is delta Edward is not used. So you my friend, you must call me Mohammed. My father calls me Mohammed. My mother calls me Mohammed. My brothers and sisters called me Mohammed. So my name is Mohammed very important to Allah. Man.

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When you when you refer to a son, when you call him call him.

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And if this is the kind of relationship that the Father and the Son has,

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then it's almost automatic that you as a father, your daughters as well. If there's a problem, you will look at them and you know what the problem is? You don't even have to ask sometimes. You just look at it. I know something's not right. You will look at your daughter. You don't have to ask a waco thing explodes you already pick it up right in the beginning because you ever you have a relationship with it. We look at the relationship for example of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam with his daughter Fatima. He thought about him I was 18 years old.

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And she lived in Medina.

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She was married to Allie.

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And every time the property is to Lima, the first thing is to do us or the last thing we did was to go to Fatima's house and kisana for a nice dinner left. And when he comes back from where we came to Medina, you would first go to our house and Greta and kisana for it and he would go home again.

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so, the prophets Allah made it very special relationship with his daughter, Fatima. There are many other instances that you can read. But the ones that can think about immediately is when the Prophet dial in

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Just before he died just before he died, what did he do to show his love for his daughter?

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special love, fathers and mothers are specialists. Rachel, what did he say? He called? And he whispered in the ear.

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And she cried.

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And he called me again. And he whispered in my ear.

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And she laughed.

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And I shall. His wife came to father and said, what happened when your father whispered in your ear level of jealousy, of course, your father was fooling you em in all of us. You're welcome to tell all of us, then you cry. And she didn't want to she didn't want to tell you. But after I passed away, she said to Ayesha, the first time my father was good in my ear, he said, tonight, I'm going to pass away.

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And I cried. And the second time he spoke in my ear, he said to me an oath Altima, you will be the fourth who are one of my family, who will be with me, in the era of Tiger Woods, he will be the first one to die after me. Now the Prophet could have said this to the whole room of people if there was a room of people, and there were a lot of people there before he died. But he said this to her in a year wanting to show the special love and relationship you had with her

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when she was when your wife's here

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seriously now?

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What is your worship ministry remain?

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You shouting at me? But do you remember all the times when you whisper in your ear

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so suddenly, in your nervous facial lecture with somebody, your children, particularly talking about yours, and when your friend, and you see girls doing this often girls, when they are friends with each other, they will do this purposefully, they would whisper in each other. So the other friends come here to make the other friends jealous because I have a spiritual relationship with that kind of person. Now, this is the kind of relationship that Muhammad SAW last element of Israel, for example, when I was wanting to sit in Abraham, you should the macro ban of your son is my

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so what did he say? What did Brian say? Did he go to his son and said,

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I got a job.

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I got to do a job. Allows pharmacy numbers to him. I can't tell you what it is. But you know, come with me.

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sward is no his knife and he said to his boy, you know, he said to him, what do you think?

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He said to that boy, little boy. He said, What do you think? A lot asked me that I should.

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snotty snicker bar What do you think? And he said, if

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he said do what he wanted to do. he consulted Isa.

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he consulted him. He said Alice told me I must both Aqaba Will you all be Will you carry this engine? He said he said no problem.

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He didn't say like he said

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you know you must know

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what do we do? We make fun of the child without telling the child anything. He sees you make Salah. He gets up in the morning to go to the toilet. And he says guys my father's making salad in the front row. Hi Lola is making father and my mother.

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That is better than 1000 shouting and screaming makes Allah make ceramics Allah and that's our parents. I mean our parents. When it came to Salah they just made Salam we used to go into the masjid Islam axolotl, and that's how we met and that is the methodology that allows teachers now be Look, man alayhi salatu was Salam.

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So Allah subhanaw taala, from verse 13, to verse 19, prioritizes how we should raise our children?

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How should you read? What is the kind of advice that we start with? And what is the kind of advice that we endorse? And of course this takes over this kind of advice in raising a child goes over a period of time. Allow father first says,

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You should teach your child to love Allah. It's the first thing you must inculcate in your child.

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That the love of Allah we know that love allows for Allah is over and above everything in this world. So the first thing our last one the teachers not enough man to teach it's an easy

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law to shake the law. What is the furthest Allah give to Islam? Do not make sure with Allah subhanho tala why not allows longer give the reason also allow for less that is Shrek below. In the sheet color blue moon

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short explanation, Allah says, Don't make shake with the last one that is what changes us more than using the Quran more than 200 times more than 200 times allow us to use the woodshed.

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And of course there are many scholars today so go

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especially those who flood our borders from all over the world

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that say that

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we shouldn't use the word shade for Muslims. There is no connection or the shinken Allah speaks about in the Quran for other people, but for Muslims.

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So whenever Allah talks about children the Quran doesn't refer to Muslims

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was nothing of Manson

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Subhana Allah He was the son of an IV he was a Muslim. He was a movement yet allows wangler flows rolling Allah gives to his most believing son was attending LA to shake villa. Now why why why is this? Why is this the biggest danger that faces any person?

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Because I lost my minutes is in shilka like one of them because shake is what? Shrek is darkness upon darkness upon darkness.

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Why does Allah describe it like that?

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Because those of you have experience of people who can achieve

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the first thing they will tell you to someone or come to me and say, you know, this person does this kind of thing. And he does that kind of thing.

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And then He will say to me, I speak to the person when the person doesn't hear me.

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support that is delivered. From charities, doctors,

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to doctors. There's no light coming from anywhere. You can't show that person anything will teach him anything will say anything to him. When you speak the Cherokee will not listen to your advice. And that's where our last founder says, Do not be nasty Look, man face.

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And you know, she comes Nafisa solemn, said like an end on a big rock in the middle of the night in the darkness of the night. That's how it comes across really slowly. Slowly, slowly, slowly, until it's there with you. And then Stephen Lama laws founder, protect us from from shift.

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So the first is the theory. Allah says

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to me, man, please tell your child that this is the greatest danger in his life. Then Allah founder in the last verse, Allah scripts, a few verses, the last one gives the practical example of how great Allahu

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shiraki is when you believe that other things as powers, like Allah, besides Allah, Allah can do certain things as either gene or human beings or whatever can also do things that he shake. So somebody comes to Elysee and he says, you know, my share from my pee and my this and my that, and Mike can do this, and I can do that and has done this and comes from that country and weighs this in that you know, so forth and so on.

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So what is the last one as soon as soon as 16 allows one gonna tell you something.

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Oh, my son. Oh, my beloved son. In

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intercom is Karla had bathroom in her dehlin photography, saturating office an hour to fill up. Yeah, TV holla in Allaha

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He says, you tell your son that chick is the biggest dollar

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and then he tell you about great how great alloys so no matter how great a person comes to you now great ease. Remember, this is allowed to

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tell your son if there is

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an atom inside a rock.

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Soccer inside a rock.

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It was an atom. You can even see with your naked eye inside a rock.

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And he wants to bring us an atom from inside the rock

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that is in the heavens, or are buried in the earth only allows for them to bring it out to you.

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That's the power that allows

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Human being presented to you cannot equal the power of a loss

00:30:08 --> 00:30:13

and the muscles caught up in the power of man. So Damon Can

00:30:16 --> 00:30:17

we have a fleet

00:30:18 --> 00:30:28

or he did this or he's from the grandfather of zones or the father of zones or the center zones or the Brennan Center so he's got some special powers La Jolla La hawla

00:30:29 --> 00:30:35

wala quwata illa there is no right and no power except in in allows

00:30:36 --> 00:30:38

everybody's power your mind

00:30:40 --> 00:30:43

anybody else jabril maybe

00:30:44 --> 00:30:47

gets the power from which power from the power of law

00:30:51 --> 00:30:59

so that is the message a practical message which gives or other nobilo gift Nabil lokmanya visa

00:31:00 --> 00:31:01

there is number one

00:31:03 --> 00:31:12

love for Allah and allies all powerful everything inshallah we should die. That's how we should meet a lot of death.

00:31:14 --> 00:31:16

When I started going to Balaji to La

00:31:17 --> 00:31:18

La hawla wala

00:31:20 --> 00:31:22

I believe only us power.

00:31:24 --> 00:31:31

Even as as derive power from your power we do grant. Second is kindness to parents.

00:31:34 --> 00:31:44

And how beautiful is this? Look, man is the father who's speaking to me. He told me to his son about obedience to parents. What does he say?

00:31:45 --> 00:31:49

He says, We're finally in Santa BYD they answer

00:31:55 --> 00:32:01

doesn't tell us how to be obedient to me or love me. No, he says to his son,

00:32:03 --> 00:32:11

allows for hunt Allah has commanded you to be good and kind to your parents.

00:32:12 --> 00:32:14

Your mother is born you in pain.

00:32:16 --> 00:32:18

Your mother has given birth to you in pain.

00:32:20 --> 00:32:25

Your mother has failed you from a brace for a maximum of two years.

00:32:27 --> 00:32:31

Honor your mother, he says policies, only your Mother,

00:32:33 --> 00:32:37

the Father and joins on the child to honor his mother.

00:32:39 --> 00:32:40

to parents, please

00:32:43 --> 00:32:48

visit something which always hurts me. When there's a problem between the mother and the father.

00:32:50 --> 00:32:54

Then what is the mother come to tell me. I told my son what he did.

00:32:55 --> 00:33:04

I tell my son when his father or the mother comes in the children. I told him and I said your father did X, Y and Z. You know.

00:33:06 --> 00:33:21

And when I speak, I always speak to father, mother and children. Before I leave to talk to the couple that come to me speak to the mother speak to the Father. No, no, no, no. I want to see the children. And one thing I discovered is

00:33:22 --> 00:33:43

that when you tell your child about your wife, about their mother, anything bad, you know, it is like a it's like you starving them. They won't tell you and vice versa. If you the mother tell your children about if the father is he was remembered still the Father. Remember it remains the mother and the father

00:33:46 --> 00:33:48

is the worst thing a parent can do to a child.

00:33:50 --> 00:33:53

It is smear the other parent in to the other parent,

00:33:54 --> 00:34:00

by the House of beat the child or the child. But don't do that to your children.

00:34:01 --> 00:34:05

Because your child loves both his parents equally no matter what happens between the two of you.

00:34:08 --> 00:34:12

So, I always tell the parents

00:34:13 --> 00:34:16

please no matter what happens,

00:34:18 --> 00:34:24

keep the conversation when it comes to your husband at a level of dignity and respect for the other parent.

00:34:26 --> 00:34:32

And of course in the worst thing comes along then the worst thing comes along. The worst thing comes along is

00:34:33 --> 00:34:39

that some mothers even prevent the father from seeing his own children.

00:34:41 --> 00:34:47

La hawla wala quwata illa Allah, I know he is angry and all of us I know people can do things which can really make you angry.

00:34:49 --> 00:34:59

But as I always tell people, especially when they have small children problems you have to be divorced and below kinds of things in a family and amongst people that are

00:35:00 --> 00:35:01

I always say to the couples, you know,

00:35:05 --> 00:35:08

if you have children, your relationship will never come to an end.

00:35:09 --> 00:35:13

Adele will come when both of you were standing in the same Hall,

00:35:14 --> 00:35:17

and your daughter will one both of you to be there when she gets married.

00:35:21 --> 00:35:33

That's the day when everything's forgotten your son and daughter once his mother is alive, and he files, both of them as be they. And they would like to see both of them stand one center of the sign in one center.

00:35:36 --> 00:35:43

So when you have a problem, always think about it what what, what what is going to be 10 1520 years ahead.

00:35:45 --> 00:35:54

And always think about your children, that is not the problem they can bring about the problem. Why should they suffer their whole life because of your problem, that sort of thing.

00:35:56 --> 00:36:00

So the first thing that man said to his son was your mother.

00:36:05 --> 00:36:06

And this is a big lesson.

00:36:08 --> 00:36:09

A big lesson

00:36:10 --> 00:36:22

to us is that mothers must inflate the status of the Father and father must inflate the status of the pastor by whoever how that's how parents are with us.

00:36:23 --> 00:36:24

You know what?

00:36:25 --> 00:36:28

My mother said Your father is the best man in the world.

00:36:31 --> 00:36:36

Am I father used to say your mother is the best one in the world. That's how they died. But they used to fight like cat and dog.

00:36:38 --> 00:36:43

But that was it. That was when it came to children. That is how we dealt with children.

00:36:53 --> 00:36:58

And why is it that we look man made such a fuss about the mother

00:36:59 --> 00:37:00

because really

00:37:02 --> 00:37:44

allows all of us the mothers to be the child and you know you you you hear about this, you see this? You listen to it. And you see how mothers suffered to bring a child into the world. She had six seven miscarriages so now she The doctor says you must put her feet up for six months to keep the baby inside. to stitch the womb close whatever they do. And now she gives birth to this child after seven miscarriages upon how happy such a mother tell me how three sets of fathers paddle the other child into the world. Hello. Look at that link between mother and father. And a mother will have low calcium when she's when she's pregnant. She will need the red blood cells when she's pregnant. She

00:37:44 --> 00:37:49

will need so many things when she's pregnant. She has to go through all that. For what

00:37:50 --> 00:37:57

because Alzheimer's put the love of motherhood in the heart. And so we speak a little bit about parents when evisa Sallam said the

00:37:59 --> 00:38:00

first one.

00:38:02 --> 00:38:06

Now that these are some talks about the Father, the father Madison said,

00:38:07 --> 00:38:09

the affection you have for your father.

00:38:10 --> 00:38:11

Look after the

00:38:13 --> 00:38:21

relationship you have with your father, the affection year for your father. So children must love the Father.

00:38:22 --> 00:38:28

There was a an affection for because the father was also a restriction for the children to to a seat that you

00:38:30 --> 00:38:33

look after the affection you have for your father

00:38:35 --> 00:38:35


00:38:36 --> 00:38:37

a long run

00:38:41 --> 00:38:44

look after the love and affection you have for your dad.

00:38:46 --> 00:38:52

Oh young daughters and young sons and then cut the affection

00:38:54 --> 00:38:58

remember what your father does? Don't cut the affection why not for you?

00:39:01 --> 00:39:07

Because if you cut your father alone remove them from you on the

00:39:11 --> 00:39:13

father's you know

00:39:17 --> 00:39:20

you carry his name. He's living

00:39:21 --> 00:39:27

his blood, his genes that you that he that it lines up with is your light

00:39:28 --> 00:39:35

is your mood. And then evisa Sallam said man I had another delivery day for INI file

00:39:36 --> 00:39:39

for in nabari Aminu Yama, Yama, that is a Salam said

00:39:41 --> 00:39:43

the person who

00:39:46 --> 00:39:47


00:39:48 --> 00:39:49

in his look

00:39:50 --> 00:39:55

to his face. He looks at the parents. He lives his parents with a look of dislike

00:40:00 --> 00:40:05

Nobody's also said I will be free. He said I will not be there for you on the best piano.

00:40:06 --> 00:40:08

Ever seen as I'm sure to look at the parents.

00:40:11 --> 00:40:14

The child is getting out of the door, the young ladies growing up at the door and the mother says

00:40:16 --> 00:40:17

raise your scarf.

00:40:18 --> 00:40:23

And she looks at me straight in the eye without a smile and she walks out by the front door

00:40:25 --> 00:40:27

or the Pharisees to disarm

00:40:30 --> 00:40:31

them coming now.

00:40:33 --> 00:40:37

But nuclear gives. Now he says Alan said man had done

00:40:39 --> 00:40:41

he said look within a visa Sam says

00:40:42 --> 00:40:45

so there is a sudden said Nah.

00:40:47 --> 00:40:48

man said that he never

00:40:49 --> 00:40:53

said my Barbara album. man said that. He

00:40:55 --> 00:41:00

said, You do not show respect to your father. If you look at him, you know some children Luke is taken I

00:41:01 --> 00:41:12

know some person you You shouted your child and what does he do? He doesn't look down. He looks up. He tells his head and he looks he's taken the eye. In other words,

00:41:14 --> 00:41:15

say no juicy

00:41:16 --> 00:41:18

to what you wanted. Nabis Hassan says

00:41:20 --> 00:41:37

there is not being as Allah, Allah says was saying that in turn in the wild, a Asana that is not being kind to your payments. And we know the example of the Sahaba couldn't die and it's a hobby. It's a hobby, containing as an episode we couldn't I couldn't say la ilaha illAllah.

00:41:38 --> 00:41:40

His mouth was open. And he

00:41:43 --> 00:41:46

couldn't die. He couldn't say he couldn't die.

00:41:49 --> 00:42:04

concert. Shahrukh Khan is in between death and life. So the first thing I asked him as he got another, they said Yes, he's got to bring the mother property. This is your son? She said yes. She can read this Karima.

00:42:06 --> 00:42:08

There's something something about you, isn't it? She said yes.

00:42:11 --> 00:42:13

Prophet said What is it? She said

00:42:18 --> 00:42:21

we never used to feed his family and he used to feed me.

00:42:24 --> 00:42:28

I get the secondhand stuff. And his wife and children get the first grade stuff.

00:42:32 --> 00:42:35

The child goes to pick and pay to check his he buys things for his family and his mother.

00:42:41 --> 00:42:50

So he goes on with a packet first takes are the good stuff for his wife and his children. And he says Well, okay, my dear Mama, Massara.

00:42:51 --> 00:42:54

In the current state of manga, the manga

00:42:55 --> 00:42:58

style of manga from an epoch manga have to say

00:43:01 --> 00:43:01

he couldn't read

00:43:03 --> 00:43:07

them he says what are you going to do if you're not going to forgive him? Allah to burn him

00:43:10 --> 00:43:17

to burning spawn Allah, only salvation for him on the dunya so immediately society

00:43:18 --> 00:43:22

Please forgive him I forgive him I forgive him. And when she said I forgive him he shouted

00:43:26 --> 00:43:27

so important

00:43:30 --> 00:43:34

that your parents or your gender or your parents or your Heaven

00:43:35 --> 00:43:36


00:43:37 --> 00:43:39

and I always want the law

00:43:41 --> 00:43:47

says the visa Salaam says salata to three people are not deaf, two or three people, Allah won't look at them.

00:43:49 --> 00:43:51

Allah won't speak to them.

00:43:53 --> 00:44:00

Allah will not purify them. And the first of those ease or laugh when you are a person disobedient to his parents.

00:44:04 --> 00:44:09

And the last person will sign in the kena you know piano will be one day

00:44:10 --> 00:44:14

and one day it will be equal to 1000 years of the denier.

00:44:15 --> 00:44:28

Now this isn't said the person who disobedient to the terms will stand at the end of the queue. You'll have to wait 1000 years before he's even going to be asked the question human ways going to go before I was going to look at and I wasn't going to look at him.

00:44:30 --> 00:44:39

I was gonna turn away from you this panel. So if we pray and fast and give doesn't do that. priority number one is

00:44:40 --> 00:44:42

parents want

00:44:44 --> 00:44:55

to know how lonely men are Rama. Allah says and spread your wings of mercy. Spread your wings of shade over your two parents.

00:44:57 --> 00:44:59

While Sahiba Murphy Dhoni, Mr. Ufa

00:45:00 --> 00:45:03

live with them on the dunya as your friends

00:45:06 --> 00:45:18

who shouldn't be my friend your property your mother. And again, he said a next perversity of Mother Nature okay find a new mama who next project and again your mother and then he said no next in Venice a

00:45:21 --> 00:45:26

friend should be afraid. They Savonarola mothers didn't see their children

00:45:28 --> 00:45:29

for weeks

00:45:30 --> 00:45:31

for months

00:45:32 --> 00:45:35

so naturally when you pick up the phone to phone the parents

00:45:37 --> 00:45:38

I know this

00:45:42 --> 00:45:46

so the first thing that lachemann Allah teaches look money is

00:45:47 --> 00:45:49

Allah to love our last

00:45:50 --> 00:45:54

second kindness to your parents for Salah

00:45:56 --> 00:45:58

allows foreigners is

00:46:06 --> 00:46:06

it masala

00:46:08 --> 00:46:20

established pre settings what is allowed to say I feed your children you don't feed them. I give them respect you don't give them a reason. Your job is to command them to pray.

00:46:24 --> 00:46:24

Number four,

00:46:26 --> 00:46:29

our founder says what see the female shake

00:46:31 --> 00:46:35

Nabila look man city child, my child walks it feed must

00:46:36 --> 00:46:41

have acid in the way you walk in the soul have a goal in your life.

00:46:42 --> 00:46:53

Who does work on the earth No. Allows long as his rock Timothy machig as a cost. Every media has a goal in life. Teach your children to have goals

00:46:54 --> 00:47:00

not goal goals with a s so now your child is a is a whatever he is.

00:47:01 --> 00:47:11

doesn't stop there. That's only the beginning. Your first degree is only the beginning. The second thing is under the kitty education never don't teach your children to become something in it stop.

00:47:14 --> 00:47:17

No, it must be ongoing.

00:47:18 --> 00:47:25

And number four allows longer Charles novella to tell the son to be positive

00:47:30 --> 00:47:34

to be positive and a positive attitude allow a song that says

00:47:36 --> 00:47:40

What did Allah masaba Be patient in what happens to you

00:47:43 --> 00:47:52

Be patient in what happens to you teach your children patience the age was important today to children work in the holidays we have a Saturday job

00:47:53 --> 00:47:58

children must know what it is to sacrifice to earn something

00:47:59 --> 00:48:04

for the day that's unimportant. He has no know that money comes through artwork

00:48:05 --> 00:48:14

any work any job packaging even if he's gonna even if he's doing for teammates and you know gigs in it if he can pay the gold pack shelves

00:48:16 --> 00:48:19

say knows what it is to earn money don't just give it to them they think

00:48:20 --> 00:48:21

outside the house.

00:48:23 --> 00:48:24

And number five allows

00:48:25 --> 00:48:41

teachers noble of man to tell a child about humility character manipulate, teach your child you have done a lot to sire had the calf leanness don't turn your cheek to people you know the cameras in our cameras and the cameras look at you doesn't.

00:48:42 --> 00:49:13

You see the camera do that allows them to better human beings don't lift your head and turn your cheek to people know if people speak to you. You teach your child to look a person in his face when he is a salon. We never used to speak to people you know we are somebody comes on the site, we talk to person like this No, have you service a turn like this to the person and speak to the person and somebody sends me in the stands and somebody speaks Yeah, and he turns and he speaks to the person that has the habit of Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam

00:49:14 --> 00:49:20

and finally allows one of the teachers of mine to tell his child how to walk and how to talk

00:49:22 --> 00:49:24

a lot so I'm gonna says, whoa, whoa

00:49:26 --> 00:49:26

whoa, whoa.

00:49:27 --> 00:49:30

Hello sanella says Roxy the magic walk.

00:49:31 --> 00:49:37

Don't walk on the earth. morahan lathem Chicken optimara. Don't walk like this on the earth water.

00:49:45 --> 00:49:47

You're gonna get a bed back. Like I

00:49:49 --> 00:49:59

usually walk straight up, but walk humbly on the earth. And when you speak, don't be insulted. always teach your children to lower their voices except winnemucca

00:50:00 --> 00:50:04

Can you become an embalmer? Among other shipping we fell into sharp otherwise

00:50:05 --> 00:50:12

they must have a good voice Why must you speak in a low voice with a low tone that assists in uncataloged Latina so

00:50:14 --> 00:50:41

that the word sound is the sound of a donkey allows founder likened shouting to the sound of a donkey. And of course, that is not part of how Allah subhanaw taala wants to teach us so what do we learn we learn that we should address our children even if you give them a pig name maybe Sam also gave gave pet names after Amanda came aboard era father of this small kid even though he's giving any wife also pet name

00:50:43 --> 00:50:45

don't pay to develop it name I see.

00:50:46 --> 00:50:49

All right, and use affectionate line which of your children

00:50:52 --> 00:50:53

are the children

00:50:54 --> 00:50:56

now these are ones with better man

00:50:59 --> 00:51:10

while he was playing with Hassan, he was playing with him was hugging them and kissing them biting the ears and whatever grandfather does, and this man came along and he said what what are you doing?

00:51:11 --> 00:51:15

messenger of Allah Are you playing with your grandchildren kissing them What is this?

00:51:17 --> 00:51:24

said man law, your hand law you have to say to him, he doesn't show mercy will not receive mercy.

00:51:25 --> 00:51:37

That your love that you show for your children in your wife is your mercy that you are extending to them and when you extend mercy to your family out of the house there will be merciful to you on the day of care.

00:51:41 --> 00:51:52

And you know when avviso salam Subhana Allah The other nice way of doing things in a very good way when you want to teach somebody something used to do it in a particular fashion

00:51:53 --> 00:52:04

You know, sometimes we see we want to teach somebody something and we we don't know how to tell the person you know, this is the way you should do it. I have a problem from I see people doing something I think I

00:52:06 --> 00:52:16

shouldn't do that you know but how do I tell him he's a big man or you know how do I tell him sir You know, you should do it like this you should do it like that. But what is an evisa cylinder

00:52:17 --> 00:52:20

rather than a javelin is a good example was given in Java

00:52:21 --> 00:52:27

now visa son wanted to teach him something so you can see even the Sahaba and there was a there was

00:52:29 --> 00:52:34

just teach them like you know he was the Prophet he would have said look I'm teaching you this now you know take it and use it

00:52:35 --> 00:52:40

people take a front even how many we learned that even that time people say Oh

00:52:44 --> 00:52:45

would you

00:52:48 --> 00:52:49

like somebody

00:52:51 --> 00:53:00

some time ago is to see somebody in the magic for fragile Salah so far it's alarming that that goes for final Salah then we make Tara castle

00:53:01 --> 00:53:07

some people because we that we work 10 minutes I see some people like to rock to rock to rock and

00:53:10 --> 00:53:16

I tell this person you I know you're 100 feet but you know even by Abu hanifa is only to rock as before

00:53:18 --> 00:53:22

normally the height of his breakfast but for what because the Navy is only made to record before

00:53:24 --> 00:53:37

now I'm gonna tell this person he's gonna say but that's a lie. You know? I wasn't gonna punish me to make Salah that's that was the answer people give you you say But why are the 700 of that the Prophet only make three

00:53:38 --> 00:53:41

you're embarrassed to say but you know what is good

00:53:45 --> 00:53:47

What is the answer to that? The answer to that is

00:53:48 --> 00:53:49


00:53:52 --> 00:53:55

what you do which is not part of the signal is going to punish you

00:53:58 --> 00:54:10

if you create Johnson I was gonna punish you for that punishment. So even your fellow or whatever you do, but you can be on the sooner you can be the example in Hamas or Salam is brought to you Allah will punish you

00:54:14 --> 00:54:15

Why did you do that?

00:54:16 --> 00:54:37

Because he made all his life his whole life. They don't make more but you come along and magician 1500 years later, you know to tell us that you have a better idea. You can get more reward and people doing this today. This is our life today. What's wrong? The good thing is doing is making Victrola

00:54:39 --> 00:54:43

easy doing what Mohammed Salah Salaam said if he's not then everybody's

00:54:44 --> 00:54:59

Why? Because creating his own show now. He's making himself Parmesan cheese. I'm Ron meddlesome. That was Muhammad in the seventh century. I'm Mohamad in the 15th century, in the century we live in now for that as punishment. So

00:55:00 --> 00:55:04

Now this is Alan Tovar, the mini Java. He wanted to teach him something and he said

00:55:09 --> 00:55:13

he was walking down the road he took, he took his and he took his hand.

00:55:14 --> 00:55:17

And he was walking with bars. And then he looked inward. And he said to me,

00:55:19 --> 00:55:20

I love you.

00:55:21 --> 00:55:23

Say I love you imagine

00:55:24 --> 00:55:27

a person saying a man saying to another man, I love you.

00:55:31 --> 00:55:32

Whereas if you say to your son,

00:55:35 --> 00:55:39

or your daughter, their man, your wife, or your mother, or your son,

00:55:40 --> 00:55:48

I remember once once a person came to me and said, you know, she mother came and said, My son is on drugs, 15 years on drugs

00:55:50 --> 00:55:51

thrown out of the house.

00:55:53 --> 00:55:55

He sold everything already knows

00:55:58 --> 00:56:03

how to get about a table and one cup left is everything is the sales to get done.

00:56:06 --> 00:56:11

Sometimes, you know, I mean, you get these problems all the time. Sometimes you think what am I gonna tell this poor woman

00:56:12 --> 00:56:16

she's at the end of a table. This is the last port of call it is not.

00:56:18 --> 00:56:19

So this dicey to I said, Lady

00:56:21 --> 00:56:23

wine last he will tell your son that you love him.

00:56:25 --> 00:56:36

She will ask you to tell your son, your mother in law to speak from your one parent family, this asmin is gone. The only only the two. So why don't we not eternamente love.

00:56:37 --> 00:56:41

She's a compliment by saying Go tell him what you love him and you come back. And he told me.

00:56:42 --> 00:56:45

And she came back a couple of weeks later.

00:56:46 --> 00:57:16

And I said What happened? She said, you know, sitting at the table eating and I was thinking that I was looking at him and I didn't know what to say. I'm looking at him and he's a drug addict. And he's, you know, I want to throw him out. You know, I could know there's nothing in me that says I love you. I want to love you. And he says eventually, after a long time, she's sitting and looking at him. And she thought about the days that she carried him when she was pregnant. She gave birth to him and she brought him up as a child what a lovely child he was. And eventually she looked at him and she said to him, I love you.

00:57:17 --> 00:57:31

And she said you know both of them both occasionally grab each other for the first time and I think 15 years and they have each other and they cried and they cried in the crowds panel and she says it was the best experience that she'd had with a son for 15 years

00:57:33 --> 00:57:40

she never came back to my demo Mashallah maybe they've solved the problem maybe that's what they need and maybe just needed his mother to hug him and to say I love you

00:57:44 --> 00:57:51

and maybe we do that to our children in the naughty maybe we should do that to our children in the notes and then to equip a clear acquaintance what

00:57:53 --> 00:57:55

you must go there we

00:57:56 --> 00:58:00

so now this is Salim said to my eyes. I love you

00:58:02 --> 00:58:12

so now how does he know he's defenses is gone. Whatever you thought is gone finish his mind his main opinion. He's not in love with an emphasis on let me just

00:58:13 --> 00:58:15

say after every Salah

00:58:17 --> 00:58:17

What does he say?

00:58:22 --> 00:58:23


00:58:25 --> 00:58:25

the clicker?

00:58:26 --> 00:58:29

Isn't using it ever forget it.

00:58:30 --> 00:58:39

Do you think under those seconds, that kind of teaching. If somebody teaches you like that you think you'll ever forget what it teaches you? Allahu

00:58:41 --> 00:58:46

Allah Vickery Kawasaki, kawasaki, nearly 1500 years later, we are still saying

00:58:47 --> 00:58:59

I wish he passed it on and on and response right down the line up to now supanova because of the methodology, and then you have the same experiences in your life with your mother and your father and your friends who taught you something.

00:59:03 --> 00:59:07

Nobody looked at the universe. 1314 years old. Can I be showing him

00:59:08 --> 00:59:17

brilliance? Nobody saw in him. He was a young man. brilliant young man. Very intelligent young man. As an OB wanted him to become

00:59:18 --> 00:59:22

a jeweler as an alum, whatever you want to call it, and I believed him i thought

00:59:23 --> 00:59:26

you know how young people are if you tell a young man

00:59:29 --> 00:59:30

named daddy

00:59:31 --> 00:59:32

smarter job.

00:59:37 --> 00:59:44

So yeah, Naveen says I'm saying imagine looking at Abdullah boss and says yes, young man, this young man Mashallah

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Of course, Abdullah has a lot of opportunity was the cousin of the medical become a great merchant, a traveler and all that become very rich. Now we looked at him, he opened his arms and he said, Come here, my son and be embraced.

01:00:00 --> 01:00:00

I'd be

01:00:01 --> 01:00:02


01:00:03 --> 01:00:03


01:00:05 --> 01:00:08

Neville says I didn't say to him I want you to be

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beholden Sadie's here I'll make this man a man of the dean

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and he became the greatest

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interpret of the Quran

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most of the Quran interpretation we have the essence comes from

01:00:31 --> 01:00:32


01:00:34 --> 01:00:36

Subhana Allah. So, you see some

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other nobis there his name

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01:00:45 --> 01:00:55

Because of the manner in which the Prophet taught him he became an expert in the Koran and that expertise was handed down from that time right.

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So, so when we look at the field that somebody makes, it brings new translation for example in English. So what we do is we look at the Tafseer of Abdullah boss, and we look at reception we see

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are the discrepancies because the original Tafseer of the words in the Quran was done by Abdullah back

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to the Dr. Mohamed Salah salami allows us to protect our homes in Sharla. May Allah protect our children, our wives or husbands? May Allah protect our communities, Mashallah. And Allah, all the Muslims in China, particularly in Yemen, and the whole of the Middle East where Muslims are suffering, suffering. Well, Lata illallah wa salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

106 Being parents and raising children 3 April 2015

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