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Parenting – A great responsibility

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Ebrahim Bham

Channel: Ebrahim Bham

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Alhamdulillah

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Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam o Allah Allah.

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Allah Allah, Allah, Allah Almighty Wakita Baba Kitabi wala Sharia Tabata Shariati a mother Ruffalo, bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem, hiya, yo.

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Yo Fusa calm, honey calm now set up Allah with

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my dear respected elders and brothers.

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Our children are very great joy.

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They are means of happiness to us.

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Via Kareem said Allahu alayhi wa sallam on one occasion it said children are the flowers of ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada. And there is no doubt with regard to it. But together with it been a joy. Children are a very great Amanat they are very great responsibility. Now we are Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said khulumani Would you like to idle fitrah each and every child is born on an innocent nature faba wha hoo hoo. Danny he Oh, Eunice Irani, he Oh you mucha Sammy. Oh, c'mon. It is the parents through training who make him into a Jew, a Christian, a fire worshiper, or whatever he will become. So what they will become? It depends a lot upon the training and advice they get from the

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parents. The kind of parents we are to our children, has a very great impact upon the future.

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Or Lord or Butcher, who she occupies. Navia Kareem salsa made martaba on Kakatiya Nokia Poulin lakyn, who shake us up, he ate board per se medallion at his partner hack your wallet in Qatar VX 30 itself. But Chairman

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Tarbiat Saba Chairman there, what they are going to become depends very greatly upon the training they received from the parents. And today, the responsibility of parents increases because of the environment that we are living. We are living in an environment where everything we fear about our children, everything we fear for our children, the whole environment is surrounded by that what we fear about our children, everything is surrounded by that. We fear drug addiction. We fear immortality, we fear even today we fear that our children will take a path that they will even perhaps go and commit suicide some Muslim children in the last few months have done so. So all the

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things that we are worried about, that we are fearful about the environment is full of that. Therefore, nowadays the responsibility of the parents have increased. And we cannot as parents, take a lackadaisical approach and sit back today parents have to be active parents, they have to play a very important role. They have to be proactive. Otherwise, there is going to be very great consequences with regard to that, or article Telecom in his birth or lab, Kitty Ballmer or mama Baba Walid nKC Medallia all boards yada yada Kim Smith for al Qaeda.

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Happening hum asador man just Malhotra KOTRA he

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just he said I'm a hotrod Jesse Nasha read a shoddy Shuda but yaka Hamilton hood cushy. He helped us Marshal MMO Judah. To Islamia, Mahara. Herter, upset. I'm a fall.

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So we have to be proactive with regard to this type of situation. Our children live in a much more technologically advanced and pressurized world. That we have experience we need to understand that it is not like how the parents of the old were things were very, very, were things were very, very easy. To the extent that many times previously. The old people used to say para children must be seen they mustn't be heard. And we used to say that's how they the people used to do it. Parents children must be seen they must not be heard. And that is the way it

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was nowadays it is not like that they live in a technologically pressured world they feel entitled, they feel the the whole world revolves around them. That is the reality. Now how do we deal with this few tips? One of the most important tip that I'm going to make mention of is communication. And if I can repeat it, communication, communication, communication, we need to be speaking incessantly and repeatedly with regard to matters with our children. It is better to deal with unpleasant conversation, then heated doubts. Let me say that again. It is better to deal with unpleasant conversations than hidden doubts. Even if the conversations we're going to have with them might be

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unpleasant. It might be bringing up aspect like sex, it might be bringing up excess sex aspects like drug addiction, it is better to have these conversation then for them to have hidden doubts. And today the hidden doubts are such that they have become open if we are not going to speak to our children. If we are not going to speak to our children, someone else is going to speak to our children and therefore it is better that we are the ones that we speak to our children, even bringing up unpleasant conversations. We must be having these unpleasant conversations with our children always make yarmulke Kibera Kanata subsidiary chose Mr. Sir Gupta who can the child Anisha

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por Shida, a shopkeeper Jai na who's Gawad Burchett Korea contessa you better have hamburger nickering Bruce rocker and duessel ocurring to Mbak Casey cheese okay about me Chai wanna who's got home, but Chaka sat back Correct. Tell them about the fitness of the time tell them what is happening. Tell them with regard to the mortality, tell them about gender confusion. This is one of the greatest fitness of our time, that today they are tell people are told that you are not sure when you are growing up whether you are a boy or girl. From it from the very beginning and inception, people knew whether they were boys or girls, they knew how they must dress. But today you

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know this whole particular situation is that they create gender confusion. Now if we are not going to communicate with our children, then who is going to communicate with them? Do we want them to get this particular unpleasant fact from someone else?

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Parents must be the one to discuss this unpleasant conversation. And if someone say this is something new, you are saying, let me give you an example from the Quran. As a primary Salatu was Salam. Ala Tala told him in a dream that he must not a smelly salat wa salam did another year of Allah he could have gotten slightly smaller Islam without any hesitation. But he went to go and speak to his mother in salat wa salam Yeah, buena? Yeah, in Niara filmen. And ne as backofen Zuma that ah, oh, my son, I'm seeing I'm slaughtering you. You tell me what you feel. Yala. A great navy like has a primary Salam had no doubt. But why did he go and speak to his mother? He said that was

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salam. He wanted him to be part of the good deed. He wanted to communicate with him. He wanted to speak with him. I said look, Mallory Salatu was Salam. His advice to his son is made mentioned in one old ruku in the Holy Quran. Yah yah, yah, yah, yah, yah. Optimise salat wa Mirabelle mov one hernial Mancha, Yamuna, natto Calanus so many times, oh my son or my son, oh my son do this to the students. Historical rewinds make mention that his son initially was not upon the right path, he was not upon righteousness, but by the constant advice of the panelists that was salam he came upon the right path. So one of the most important things that we have to tell parents today is speak to your

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children even if it be with regard to unpleasant conversations. So subsea hum cheesy but to save muscle go to who can retire as a leader they allow them lose one amazing incident and statement has been made mentioned you know, it is attributed to Allah the Allahu tramo that it is said

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that play what your children for seven years at the Boone bissap Then discipline them for seven years and they after hallelu bissap beside him advice and befriend them after seven years what an amazing way with regard to dealing with children for seven years. There is no there is nothing with regard to children in terms of various

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aspects of the Sharia are not compulsory upon them. So in that particular service seven years play with him don't become you know, they don't wear the scarf you smack them. You don't wear a topi you hit them but it's not compulsory upon them. Why are you becoming so

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So unnecessarily strict upon them, yes encourage them, but don't don't create any type of unnecessary punishment upon them. till the age of even heavier cream sauce lambs Hadith was advise your children to perform Salat when, seven years.

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So before that, if there is something you encourage, you don't punish. From the age of seven, you start telling them with regard to Asana. So the first seven years play with them. And you will find in the first seven years, children like to imitate the parents, the children, the parents are the heroes. So don't go into something that they imitate in the wrong way. become role models for your children, the first seven years, then the next seven years, that's a time when they come to understand. They have logical reason. And Islamic ethics. That's a time when we are supposed to now discipline them. That's a time when we are supposed to speak to them. That's a time when they are

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like conscious. We have to they are ready to soak up thing. That is a time when we have to show them teach them tell them about Islamic ethics. Tell them what is right and tell them what is wrong. As it Olivia Lautoka Forman hair but Chaka palesa Sol en casa Calle could crow. Hello, kisser scale could correct fair, ugly Assad Sol unco Taleem de Yes, here Yes. Yeah, hallelujah. Amen. Producer Assad, or chudasama darmian or fair, who's Kmart on concealed carry, or on cageless on kasap SMR rawia, STR crusaded, JC those Tannat and look, then the next seven years to advise them, and be like friends to them. After that they are independent, you can't go in hit them, if you're gonna hit

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them, they become more rebellious. That's a time when we are supposed to advise them. Great Alama I've come I've heard as a move to Mahmoud sobre la saying after the age of when they are balanced, then you must be like a friend to your children.

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They must if anything happens, the first place of port of call they must be with regard to the parents they must go to the parents. Even if they do wrong, they must come to the parents they mustn't be afraid not to come to go anywhere else they must come to the parents even if they've done something wrong. If they have knocked a car they must come to the parents we've knocked the car and there are very few you know children who are not going to knock the car during the formative years of their life. Right? Allah Tala make sure that it is never ever going to be you know, in a dangerous manner, it might be something that is innocent. So, these are some of the things that we

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have to keep in mind. Now, in this particular regard after seven why do we need to advise them? Why do we need to speak to them, Today children have access to platforms, which are Islamically inappropriate encourages haram relationship encourages gender confusion, let's face it, my dear respect brothers, let us talk openly to all our children today on social media, they are on Tik Tok, they are on Snapchat, they are on Instagram. And whether we like it or not, today, they are there very, very few parents have the ability to prevent them from accessing those platforms. And now those platforms even with some of them little good things that they are there, some of them I have

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tried to give some good advice because they are they let us let them listen to good things. But it is it is surrounded by many many certain type of messages, which encourages them towards immorality, encourage them towards gender confusion, in criticism towards homosexuality, what do we do with regard to it, you can insulate them, you can insulate in a isolate them, you can insulate them, inoculate them,

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you can insulate, you can isolate, inoculate them, inoculate them by showing them that these are the harms, these are the things that you have to be worried about. So these are very, very especially now we are going to the period of holidays. Holidays as such, it is a mid season. So children have got more time hours in my diary, our responsibility increased to supervise about them, get them involved in something positive, get them involved and things that are good, if you are going to leave them as it is said an idle mind is the devil's workshop. What are we going to do with regard to it? We are not only worried with regard to our children's, you know, material things mentioned is

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made that a person was on his deathbed of parent was on his deathbed and he called all his children and his children. He said Mama Camilla mama Kay, Ahmed, Camilla McCain, Ibrahim Ibrahim came. So when all came this I said now all of you are here. So they thought maybe he's on his deathbed. He want to push this year can he maybe wants to give us some this year, too. He started getting angry all of you are using the shop. To conquer corner to nowadays

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We have two brothers we have to keep this in mind our responsibility increases very very greatly a trip to Camacho here to to Comosa man. Yep Pagla masum kehlata but Chaka pass board works with Daya one kisser rusticana Chaya, but chokyi paanch SF platform. The hedge or Islami, Lucha sin na Manasi back are on CO haram rich Toko is to our Carnap Berta

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is Leah Yamas hamara Zima dari or surpass the board's earlier. So these are some of the aspects that we have to keep in mind. In raising children, we should have a proper balance between encouragement and warning. Many times people say we must only be caring Yes, kindness is the right way because it's a tsunami of

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Muslim homes should be homes in which love, kindness and persuasion works most of the time. But whenever there is a need for discipline, to shy away from discipline is very harmful to the upbringing of the children. Children are like budding plants the way you get plants, which are very, very important. Sometimes we save them from the rain, we save them from the weather, we protect them in a similar manner children need to be protected from the environment and the immoral influences that are out there. Someone is very, very briefly said I made mention of it previously, children are like a wet bar of soap. Now a wet bar of soap. If you catch it loosely, it will fall out of your

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head and a wet bar of soap you catch it too tightly, it will also fall out. So you have to get the right talents in catching it in such a way firm, yet not too firm because if you catch it too firm, it could fall out of n. So we have to get the right balance with regard to with regard to our children. And remember one very important point in terms of the upbringing of children, or rocky policemen, hotel income, Nami cop Nana Chaya Jamar green sauce from Kisum data, or subsample esoterica lick. Enjoy happy. Ghana Chaya Wahhabi hammock, Ghana, is rudia McKenna, che Uchiyama McKenna Canada yet they say punishment suppresses bad behavior. Discipline corrects bad behavior.

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If you punish them too much, they will do it inside punishments, suppresses discipline changes, we must discipline our children, not necessarily punish them. There's a difference between punishment and discipline, or

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leekens. Yes, sir, says ADINA, year away your code,

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or Xacta, or Meza, Riva Jaco Battelle data, so we have to do discipline, not necessarily punishment, children are also living in an age of peer pressure. Now, you know, this peer pressure is something that is very, very dangerous. We underestimated peer pressure works on the system of creating an inferiority complex. And a child at that age doesn't want to be in an inferiority complex mode. His friends will tell him, you know, you are like a mohawk, you can do this, we can do that, why can you do it, you got no courage. Now a child doesn't like to stand out like a sore thumb

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amongst his peers, so he goes into it. Now the best way to deal with peer pressure is that we give them love. Love creates self esteem, it creates confidence, when children have confidence, they will be able to save themselves from peer pressure. If they don't have confidence from home, they don't have love from home, they will be easier to crave and to fit into peer pressure, they might be able to, they will not be able to resist peer pressure. But those children who have confidence and they have love from home, they will be able to resist peer pressure. So peer pressure is a reality. And my dear respect of others that will conclude by saying, We today we give a lot of emphasis with

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regard to the financial and material upbringing of our children, our children must have certain things, they must have certain types and brands of clothes, they must have this, they must have that nothing wrong with it. If we have the means we must give it to them. What is what is what is why? Well, if our wealth is there, and we can use it for our children, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as it is done in moderation, but why is it that we we pay attention to the material needs and we don't pay attention to the spiritual needs. How is this how is it

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quality and key commodities reacts on key Denio Ruhani therapy for kid any child we have to give priority with regard to the spiritual upbringing. I like to bring in Monterey this incident I made mention of it many times that has at UCLA salat wa salam was away from Asad Yaqoob Elisa was around for 40 years. Allah facilitatory ricotta Abu in Neela jewelry Hi Yusuf Nola and Tiffany dune called with Allah He

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even radical movie, that after when Yusuf alayhi salatu salam told his brothers, I'm use of take this quota of minds go and give it to my father he is blind. When he puts the quota on his eyes, Allah will give him and give him sight again he will regain sight. So when they leave from Egypt, they left from Egypt at that particular time jacobellis That was salam said, I can smell the fragrance of

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children the people around you said in the color free radical Caribbean 40 years ago, he's gone. Where are you going to smell the fragrance of use of so when they brought the Kuta fella mangia Al Bashir alotau Allah wa T protector basura. He put it upon his eyes, and he regained sight and then mentioned is made by Sofia and authority Rahmatullahi Iacobelli salatu salam said, mera Yusuf Kesari. How is my Yusuf? How is my use of? So they said he is the king of Egypt? Mr. kabocha he is the king of Egypt. Do you know what Iacobelli Salam said? I'm not asking you whether he is a king or not. I'm asking you what is the state of his Eman and is a man

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who's a man or Amal kuch Cata Casa what is the state of his Eman and his or her man? After 40 years the first question how is easy imagine each and every offender and the Father is also a nephew of Allah. And yet they're so worried about the man in Amman how much more money should we be? and UCLA in the Holy Quran tells us who enforcer qawwali coonara Save yourself and your fire and your family members from the fire of Jannah the way we will take precaution to save our children from fire if we have to see fire to a greater extent. We must show that concern to save them from the fire of Jahannam insha Allah if you are right parents and make a lot of dwama the respect of others have

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been a habit and Amina is watching our Korea Tina Kurata ion every namaz you must read this maybe a cream salsa may say three people's do us or not rejected by Allah. One of them is a parents do our for children. What is the one acre tip number chakulia Navia cream sauce una familia, KY he didn't keep dua for rip naota So make lot of DUA and they need to end they need our supervision. They need our love. They need our discipline, even if they show independence. May Allah make us proper parents and may Allah make our children the corners of our eyes and provision for us in the year after hospital.