Channel: Ebrahim Bham
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Al hamdu lillahi Allah
T was salat wa salam O Allah al anbiya wa salli wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa seldom at the Sleeman kathira theorem, a MOBA do follow me Villa Jimenez shaytani r rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem,
Latina Maluku, fusa Kumar alikoum, narrow set of colonialism,
respected elders and brothers.
As we are aware that in our country in this coming week, there would be a day that is remembered as the day of the youth. So we have a public holiday known as Youth Day.
And obviously, there is a reason behind it. But I thought it is an ideal opportunity for us to talk about the challenges and the opportunities with regard to our youth and to speak about the topic of our youth. And there is no doubt that this is one of the most crucial
and important topics that can be undertaken. Because many times in our gatherings, we talk about the situation about our youth, the challenges, the trials, the environment, the fitna that is facing them, and how many of them succumb to those temptations. And basically, in by and large, we are also aware that today to be a parent to a young person is one of the greatest challenges and a very, very difficult task
is have Taiko Hama pata cake use dk 32, Tim, to socia Kino john or Wally Dane, coder Parrish, muscala. Parbat Ki Jai or batiuk Haskell kissanime subsidary tilahun. It is one of the greatest challenges. Now we all know that. And it goes without saying that when we talk about the youth, what the future of a community and the society is going to be depends upon the youth. The youth are the future torchbearers, the future leaders of the community and the society. Therefore, every community and society places so much importance and emphasis upon the youth. They are the ones who create revolutions, they are the ones who also take much of what is popular into their minds and they enact
it, they practice upon it, they are very gullible. They are also people who follow what is trendy, all of that is on its place. And that is why this is such an important subject. And today my talk is directed both to parents and to the youth, if they are present, many what we present so many would be perhaps listening in time to come. So what is the talk is directed first to the parents and then to the youth. Firstly, as a parent of young children, or maybe the teenage children, it is perhaps one of the greatest challenges and difficulty that we can have many parents and I've heard many people. In fact, yesterday someone came and told me and said one of the parents are saying that is
becoming extremely difficult with our teenagers. They are getting caught up with the environment they are getting caught up with with regard to what is happening in and trendy. And they are also doing things that are not Sharia sanction, which are not allowed in our Sharia. How do we deal with it? Now bear in mind that this is a responsibility it is difficult, but we can shy away from the responsibility. Someone has said parenting isn't for cowards. Yes, calculus kitchen, valid in Banda.
Daria, or Zima Derek Asad mushkil Ba, they can kissena kaha ki wallet burner wallet in banana Basilica Kamiya. It's not something for the cowards. You have to fill that responsibility. Even if it is difficult, you have to do it. Now the first thing some of the guidelines that we have to eat is the responsibility. We have to carry it out. It has consequences. Has it already allowed us time a person came? And he complained about his young person, a young child. And he said my young person my young child is not listening to me he's doing this and he's doing that. So the Allahu anhu after the father had complained called the young child. And the young son said tell me what is your
situation Why are you not listening to your parents?
So then afterwards, he said, my father doesn't give me any regard. My father doesn't look after me correctly. He doesn't advise me. He wants things, but he doesn't give me any love and compassion. humara the ultimate after hearing him, told the father and told the congregation, something that is very, if you don't respect your children, don't expect them to respect you.
If you don't show love, compassion and kindness and respect your children, then don't expect them to respect you. And we're not saying that the respect must be in a similar manner. Obviously,
the respect of the parents is is fundamental and Latina has made mention about it will be valued at aksana, there is no doubt that the respect of the parent is compulsory upon the children. But if you don't give regard to your children, then then you must expect that they might not be able to give you one regard. And this is all at say is that carvana chotto.
So that's the first thing that we have to say, respect your children, or give regard to your children. Maybe respect might not be the right word, but give regard to your children, show them kindness, show them compassion, give a certain talk to them, sit in, speak to them, show them regard so that you can get regard in return. The second thing, which I think is so important, it's a very important management principle, but it's something that we have to understand in this regard. First, seek to understand before you are understood,
it is something that Stephen Covey made very famous, first seek to understand before you are understood, if you don't understand where you are children are coming from, then how are you going to expect that they will understand you. And really, the fact of the matter is today, if you don't understand the challenges young people are facing, the temptation they are facing is something that you and I we talk about the temptation when we were young, but what they are facing is 10 times more greater than what we could ever have imagined or envisaged. You have to understand the environment they are living in. They have at the press of the button. You know, they have social media, they
have immortality that they can press and they can access. I was reading a step that came in the Economist magazine in January of this year. That 4 billion of the world's 5.5 billion population have smartphones. 4 billion people have smartphones. They say it is the most successful consumer product in the history of mankind.
No one has that amount of consumer item. in his possession the way people have smartphones, 4 billion out of 5.5 billion. Look at the percentage.
4 billion people have smartphones now with those smartphones, comes the type of fitness comes the information overload comm different types of situation, if you don't understand what they are going through we talk about peer pressure. Now peer pressure is something that you we always talk that they are all use all the time involved because of the peers they have to go in that particular line. They were so good tempted in doing what they friends want to do. Sometimes I tell people you know peer pressure is such a such a pressure, nevermind young people, even elderly people, or those who get impacted by peer pressure. For example I normally code is an example of Abu Talib. Abu Talib was
a youngster, Okinawa no Juanita. He was a mature and a very experienced and a person of wisdom. He granted refuge and protection for our beloved Navy sort of when the police wanted to harm the Vietcong himself. The victim saw some light left his uncle when he was and he appreciated the help that he was giving him. And then on his deathbed, maybe a cream sauce from told his uncle Oh my uncle one say one time Kalamata tobacco. May Allah Tanaka Samia Coronavirus, Corona I will intercede before you on the day of gamma panda that my uncle read the column in my ear and Abuja Hall was there. Abuja tala Batali Oh Abu Talib for the sake of your nephew's jahannam Are you going to
forsake the religion of our forefathers? That taunt did not allow Abu Talib to become a Muslim, it was a peer pressure of his friend. So peer pressure has impact upon people who are elderly, what do we expect it not to have?
It does not have an impact upon people who are young. So first understand the challenges that they are going through and understand that before you happy you are going to be understood. That's the second thing that we have to say. The third thing is many times we have to understand is the an ideal role model. There is no doubt whatsoever. If you want to be a successful parent, you must be an ideal role model. Someone sent me a message and let us so coincidence and there is no coincidence.
In our deal in our life, just before Jim is read this an asset so vanilla, it fits in so nicely with my banana. He says, children are good imitators, give them something great imitate.
Children are great imitators give them something great to imitate. What imitation Are you giving them? And then the Holy Quran says What a moron acaba Salatu was Salam ala, c'mon, your family members to perform Salah. But at the same time you missed that pass. You can tell them go and read for me you are sleeping. What example are you going to give them be a good role model? If you want to be able to do be a good parent, you want them to be good. Start off by being a good role model. Let me repeat that. Children are good imitators, give them something great to imitate. It is important for us to understand that. Then another aspect is that together with an Archie dorky
Masekela Kasama carnamah Ponce de Kai's harco understand the difficulties, the challenges they are going through going through it a Charmin mukamal nimona known carrier. That's the other aspect with regard to it. Learn to communicate with your children. Learn to speak with your children. today. We don't find time to speak to our children. If you're not gonna communicate with your children, someone else is going to communicate with them. We learn this beautiful example from none other than hazard Ibrahim alayhi salatu salam ala Himalaya salatu wa sallam was the one who told to his son is Maria Puna Indira filmin Amina
Oh my son, I've seen the dream I am slaughtering you funds or Malhotra Give me your opinion. The bramalea salaam was not obliged to take information or to make mushara was his son. He could have said unless command I'm gonna carry it out irrespective he communicated with his son. He spoke to his son, oh my son, this is the command of Allah. Tell me how do we carry out this command? What do we do with the command of Allah? subhanho wa Taala? Are we communicating with our children? And remember, today one of the reasons why many times children and youth and teenagers go towards the TV or the other aspect because the TV speaking to them? are we speaking to our children be sympathetic
with regard we understand the tremendous challenges and the changes that are going through? When a teenager goes through a change between childhood and adulthood? It's a great tremendous change, he himself is trying to find out what is happening, he is searching for an identity. Are you going to help him with regard to their identity or not? If you are going to in any way, downplay that particular type of challenge, and you're not going to help him you might end up in creating an identity crisis with regard to children and especially with regard to your teenage children. Our people have written that they are different parenting models with regard to our children, they are
different parenting model with regard to our children, one one model is allow them to do whatever they want to do free reign.
But so Coca Cola that is one one is permissiveness, permissiveness is slightly different from free rein is your own K. One is you as a decision to say go and do whatever you want, you are big enough, you are old enough, you must bear the consequences of your your your actions, that is free reign, permissiveness, you don't care. If he does whatever he wants, it means nothing to you. Now that goes against the commander of Allah, which I have recited in the beginning of the coup enforcer Kamala coonara, save yourself and your family members from the fire of janam. So that goes against we can go and take a style of parenting that stays going to whatever you want. In fact, it is harmful, it
is frightening for a youngster to feel that I can do whatever I want without any limitation, it is harmful for his upbringing, you cannot allow that to happen. yet. On the other hand, many times when the other extreme, some parents take this particular role of being an authoritarian. I don't care what you think. I don't want to understand what you think. This is me as a father, you do what I say. Otherwise, I will take out the jumper or I will take out the stick in prison. It doesn't matter. They don't get frightened with regard when in fact it has negative consequences with regard to it. So sometimes people say that I'll be the authoritarian. Many times authoritarian. People feel
they have control. But underneath their control, they don't have control. Someone has very beautifully made mention with regard to the upbringing of our children understand that punishment of your children suppresses behavior. And discipline changes behavior. You have to discipline your children you don't have to punish them. Punishment suppresses behavior doesn't change behavior. You have to discipline them and discipline changes behavior. What's the difference between punishment and and discipline? It is very well known discipline is you yourself. And perhaps in today's time, I'm going to suggest one of the methods
What we have to be doing is nurturing and setting limits. But that limit is going to come by us discussing the limits with our children, to say that you know, you are small child, I don't give you any type of trust, I don't worry about what you want, or you do whatever I say, sometimes it creates an inferiority complex was regarding our children. And the best way for our children to face peer pressure is through the means of self esteem and confidence. If they don't have self esteem and confidence, they will find it very difficult to resist peer pressure. And you have to give them that confidence. We have to give them the trust, we have to give them that self esteem. Now the right way
is that neither can you allow a free rein, neither do you allow an authoritarian rein, you have to find the right balance. Someone said today to look after children is like a weird bit of bloodbath. So if you lose it, you keep it too loose in your hand, it falls out of your hand, you keep it to stuff, you all know that a wet bar of soap you keep it to stuff, it goes out of your head. So you have to find the right balance. And bear this in mind that it is something leadership and assertiveness is not contrary contradictory to mercy and compassion. You have to be assertive, yet be compassionate, and to be kind, and leadership and assertiveness is not against mercy, kindness
and compassion. So this is the way we have to be able to look at the different ways people find parenting. And yet at the same time, we have to keep this in mind that we have to be assertive, we have to set it have nurturing, we have to have some sort of boundaries, we have to have certain type of limits. But yet at the same time, we can't impose those limits. We have to perhaps certain speak to our children. One of the ways is sit with your children and said, this is the boundary, I give you a certain degree of autonomy, autonomy within this boundary, not beyond this. Maybe there's a way that we have to deal with children in today's time. But there's in mind, at the end of the day,
we cannot allow our children to be without any limitation. Yet at the same time, we have to give them love and kindness and compassion, because they must not turn to become rebellious. If you become too strict, you become too rigid, you become too authoritarian. Or you do not show them the necessary love and compassion. Then if you do that at home, when they find love and compassion anywhere else, they will run they love and compassion and they will leave you. So it's a tremendous challenge. You know, and then when you look at this idea, you will Latina hamanako anfis Akuma, Allah Kumara Oh, you who believe save yourself from the fire of Jana. I normally give this example
my dear respected brothers. Now this example is if someone is coming one day, it's a very harsh example. But sometimes it makes the point. You know, one day if you are coming home, and you're driving home, and then you see there's a fire fire of nearby in your neighborhood you never seen it is your own own your own home. It must be someone else's home, you come closer to see me This is really close to my home, then you start getting fear. That is Could it be my own home? And then when you come nearby, you see it's right near your neighborhood. Then you come in you see that? Yes, it is my house is on fire. And then you worried about the safety of your wife and your children. And
you run and there is a fire brigade they have they have scraped off the whole area. They're not allowing anyone who say it is my home. They allow you you say that I've got three children, you find your two children on the pavement you feel happy? Then you see
can you see a little bit earlier? Allah Allah tala protect any happening to anyone who see one of your children waving to you from the house? What will you do at that time? What will you do at that time, I know what you will do, you will put your life at risk and you will run through and say no child, no matter what happens to you. Allah says this example is about a fire in this world. Save your children from the fire of Jannah. Find ways and means of saving them to not allow them to take a road that is leading them towards evil. Save your children from the fire of janome. How you do it find the ways and means to do it. Then with regard to the youth, you see many times our youth feel
that they have a life that is full of promise. We're going to enjoy ourselves. We have a whole life in front of us. We are still young, we will live to the age of 1780. But my dear respected brothers, we don't know whether we're going to find that time or not. But if let me say, you know in order to let me say one or two phrases up Nipa chakulia mokara mother se ht nakara correct. Or nahi como como la casa de de de lo que darmian Ponce De Luca.
Now, in in our young people, many a times we feel we've got a whole future in front of us, we can do whatever we want. We're going to live to the age of 17. And while that is many times, it happens because people who die elderly are more than the people who die young. But it is no guarantee. You can go and say that I will live for a very long period of time. So let me allow myself
To enjoy myself, I will become pious. When I become elderly. When my one one leg is in the cupboard and the other leg is on the banana peels go into the cupboard, you can wait till that time, you don't know whether you are going to see the donor for another day. So therefore, because you do not know whether you are going to see that donor for another day, don't procrastinate and delay in doing good deeds. Many times people will find young people who are pious we say now why is this young people pious, he is supposed to enjoy himself by you never know whether you're going to see that don't have another day. Do not delay and do not procrastinate in doing good deeds. You are never too
young to become pious. You are never too young to become pious hastened towards piety, hastened towards good deeds, you never know you might never be able to see another day. So going to see this particular aspect that is something that when we look at our Sharia, there is no in between phase, this is a Western concept that you know, I am, I am not a child, and I'm not an adult.
So what am I?
I'm not a child. So normally at times when you speak to a person or a child was 1718 years, and you shout him, he said, Don't treat me like a child. Okay? You are not a child and go look after yourself. What do you expect the father to look after? You know, I'm not an adult, you still have to look after me. So I'm not a child. And I'm not an adult. So what are you? So the Western world has created this many times, even for consumer reasons. So I'm not a child. I'm not an adult, in between phase for me to enjoy my life.
In Sharia, there isn't anything like that. The moment you are mature, you are legally compulsory for you to follow the Sharia. There is no in between child, either you are child to the laws of Allah subhanho wa Taala, not compulsory upon you. And the moment you become mature, Allah commands are compulsory upon you. That is why in our Sharia, we find in our Islamic history, people have played such great roles at such a young age. Osama bin Zayed is also the medium a commander of an army when he was 17 years of age, as its Army Navy workers was 16 years of age when the first person who took an arrow in the path of Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala. And he shot an arrow in the path of
Almighty Allah subhanaw taala. Mohammed malfatti was 19 or 20 years of age when he conquered Constantinople as a realtor who was 15 or 16 years of age when he went out in jihad. And throughout history, you will find that the people who are young, they were the ones who are in the forefront, they will lead us now we have created this, you're not you're not a child, but you're not an adult. So the problem is in our families, we don't give them responsibilities. The community haven't found out ways to be able to bring our young people into leadership structures, because of this whole particular what it does, it creates a gap. I am young, I can enjoy myself. Yes. You don't know
whether you are going to live for another day. Yes, if Allah tala grant you a long life, you might be able to make amends. But do you have any guarantee that you will be able to find that Long life to make amends? And I normally tell my young people and my young friends, let me just conclude with us stand out to be different. Allah has given you a young age and has given you a whole life to look forward to stand out to be different, have a vision to be able to do something with your life, with a life of your family and the good of your family and the good of your community. You know we are not average Allah has not created us average is greater as liquor alcohol in Santa Fe as an attack
when we are not average our efforts are average, to not be average 10 out to be different. You are a young person whom Allah Allah has given tremendous amount of ability can use that ability for your own sake, for the sake of your family for the sake of the community. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to be able to see the importance of our youth, the challenges facing them, may Allah subhanaw taala make it easy with regard to the challenges for them and for the parents and May Allah subhanho wa Taala make them rise to the occasion, they will be able to be the future leaders of our community and society. And when they do so, inshallah, they will be able to fulfill that
responsibility with the decoration and the responsibility which Allah has placed upon them.