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Friday Night Etiquettes Class – June 4, 2021
Channel: Daood Butt
File Size: 30.32MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa he was salam, ala NaVi and Karim Allah He of total Salah to attempt to slim rubbish. rockne Sabri were simply Emory Watson, an ocular Tamil discerning of Cabo Kohli. My brothers and my sisters sent him what he wanted to buy him over cattle.
It is Friday, June, the fourth 2021. And we continue our Friday night etiquettes class, where we discuss or have been discussing the chapter on the etiquettes of speech. And we looked into a few things last week and Hamdulillah, we looked at the importance of allowing those who are older than us to speak first if we are younger than them out of respect out of honor, you know, we allow them to speak and we saw the example of even Amata de la hora and Houma where he was in the gathering with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, many of Sahaba the companions of the Allah and home, including Abu Bakar and his father Omar rhodiola. And
as in the father of Eman, armadyl de la hora, Noma.
And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked which tree resembles the believer? And he knew the answer, but remained silent. And then when he came out, he told his father, I had a feeling that that was the answer. And his father said I would have you would have told the answer or spoken up to express yourself. And he said that, you know, I didn't feel right or comfortable speaking in the presence of Abu Bakar and Armada yourself and walk it out the ally.
So we learned that last week and Hamdulillah, we also looked at
the impact cutting people off when they're speaking
and distracting the listeners from the information that they're receiving, right? disturbing those who are listening to the speaker, by jumping in cutting off the speaker, someone may have, you know, sometimes something's not important to us, we feel like it's not important, you know, and we just change the subject or talk about something else, or, you know, jump in and immediately, you know, mentioned something else that, that distracts the speaker, and takes them into a different, you know, train of thought, for example, and someone else may have been benefiting from what they were saying. So despite us not benefiting from it, we have to
understand that there may be someone else who has been we do cut off the speaker, then someone else may not be happy with it. And it may be displeasing to the or in the attendance or in that gathering.
And we also took the example of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he said that
when honesty is lost, then wait for the hour, right when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said when honesty is lost, then wait the hour and the Sahaba of the Allahu asked him how will honesty be lost? Like how is that even a thing?
That's how long when we think of it in our time, nothing that we we don't really come across very easily, right? You go to a sir and you find that people are just trying to make a sale, they are going to tell you exactly what you want to hear. Even if it is 100% not true and false. You will go to a garage, for example, to have your vehicle repaired and they'll tell you, you need this and that and every other thing. But in reality, you probably don't even need it at all. You can go to
you know a lot of people who've been complaining about, you know, the medical field, sometimes you go to the doctor, they give you a whole bunch of medicines, you feel like you don't really need it. But then again, you know, have a lot there's so many things that we can look into. And we have to you know, be fair across the board, but we also have to be understanding of the fact that some
times people are trying to make a sale. Now I know in Canada doctors not selling anything to you. And yeah, the discussion goes even further with regards to medicines and pharmaceutical companies and all that stuff. But, again, if someone is directly making some money, you go to a, you know, a salesperson, someone's trying to sell you something, you're trying to buy a house, right? And then just try to sell it to you. You might not even get it inspected, or they might just like pass it off as inspected when it actually isn't. And so, you'll find this everywhere. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam says, When honesty is lost, and we were
in this habit of the Allahu anhu, asked, you know, when will that be, as in how will How will, how will honesty be lost, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam responded when the power of authority comes in the hands of people who are unfit, right, when the power of authority is in the hands of people who are not fit for that position, then wait for the hour as in, we're near the end of times that costs right. And I think every single one of us can think of some example in some way, shape or form as to how this applies. And we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make it easy for every single one of us in our lives, and everything that we do to try and find honesty, in everything that
we do, and try to be as honest as we possibly can. Not because we want the day of judgment to be delayed, but because we do it for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And of course, we are supposed to try to maintain in goodness and try to maintain life and prolong you know, life and so on. And so and so, it is what it is in terms of what we learned, and we tried to be
as honest as we possibly. And the third and last thing that we looked at was
the ability to speak in a manner that is slow and understandable to those who are listening. Remember the Hadeeth not really the Heidi's but the
more Sally his son and when he goes to fit our own and a loss of data tells us in the corner and in sort of Bihar how he says all that rubbish rally sadi WASC, Lee Emery wahoo, Lockwood attend melissani F kahakai. Right so Allah subhanho wa Taala shows us how Musa alayhis salam requesting that his speech be a speech that is understood by fit our own and so the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he himself when he would speak, he would speak in a manner that was very soothing to the ear, very calming to the listener, of course not always. But generally he spoke in a manner where as a shadow Viola and he told us in the head, he said, We've learned that state with pauses in between, to allow
the listener to actually memorize to understand but also giving you the ability to memorize what he said some Allahu alayhi wa sallam.
So it's important for us to try and pause, take some breaks sometimes, and those that you know, very well versed teachers will use nowadays right, they will not teach too much. Sometimes you'll sit and x will go on for hours and hours and hours.
You know the benefit of yes humbler lots of information is given, but not much of it is actually retained. And the method of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the opposite was to just give little bits of knowledge to give it on somewhat of a readily so that people can continuously learn and they can learn at a pace that is easy to understand, easy to comprehend and easy to implement in our lives as well as easy to teach to others.
Today, what are we going to look at today we begin with
have the soul till color so lowering one's voice when speaking, so not raising your voice when speaking, when having a discussion and so on and so forth. Allah Subhana Allah says weldwood mean so Tikka in Kerala, Swati la Soto hamir
in Surah, Look man,
first number 19 Allah subhana wa tada you know, shows us there in the advice that look man is giving
what would mean Celtic
what would mean Celtic that lower your voice right to lower your voice don't raise it, okay.
Other than a nurse when they're in law, so Lower your voice, with etiquette when dealing with people and, and when when dealing with God. Right so when turning to Allah subhanho wa Taala into our we want to make sure that we when we're making our when you're raising your hands when you're calling upon Allah Subhana Allah you're asking Allah subhanaw taala in a way that is proper in a way that is befitting right to call upon Allah subhanaw taala in that manner, and not just yelling and screaming. Some people will get upset and they will
express that anger towards a loss of family dad. Right? You'll hear people sometimes yelling out Why are you doing this to me? And they just they yell and scream. That's not the way that we communicate with Allah subhanho What
word would mean Celtic, so lower yours, right? Try to have that tranquil that on that soothing voice try not to get angry. Anger is a completely different topic. We'll talk about another day in sha Allah how to add I'm just talking about speech and how to communicate in Kerala, Swati
A. So the, the worst of voice or sound, okay, the worst type of sound and the ugly just as well. Right. Now salted honey is the sound of the puppy. And you notice how Allah subhanho wa Taala mentioned
when telling us as human beings to lower our voices, or to speak in a nice proper manner. He refers to the donkey Now, of course in the
in the culture of the Arabs, you know, to call someone a donkey, for example, is huge major, one of the worst insults, okay, one of the worst insults.
And now here you have a loss of having lower your voices for the worst sound is the sound of the dunk. Key. What that means is, is that you know, where just raise your voice for no reason, or to raise your voice when you know that you are raising it but still not kept hearing about the fact that you're raising your voice. And sometimes using excuses by saying, Oh, I was out of control, and I didn't know what I was doing. You know, that's something that we stray from
some of the scholars, you know, comment on this mean refers solty II, I know lady
when someone raises their voice towards someone else.
Everyone else, every Aachen, every person that has reason knows that that person has hardly any tea at all, towards others, as in that person does not have much compassion towards others. That person doesn't really care about others, their self centered, they are focused on themselves, it's just about themselves.
Also, you'll notice even Zaid Rahim Allah He mentions low cannot offer is so clear on if raising your voice was something that was good Mirjana hula, hula in Hawaii, Hamid Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah would not have given it to the donkey.
Right? So raising your voice is something that is not good. And Allah Subhana Allah to Allah wants us to lower our voices, and to try to control our tongues. That's really what is being encouraged here, right, that we're going to control ourselves and control our tongues. The next thing we'll look at is alfonzo callamard. So words and phrases that we should stay away from, okay, that we should be careful of and stay away from.
Some people when they speak, they will use certain words, they will use certain phrases that are
against the Shetty in terms of belief, right, it goes against our belief. So they may other things that takes them out of Islam, which we'll look at very shortly in sha Allah to Allah malerkotla Allah Maha Maha one actor. So sometimes people will say things and they don't know the ruling of it. And that is the majority of people, right? They just don't know their Deen enough. So they don't really know. They're saying something and they're not really aware of the severity of what you're saying. And then you have some people that will say certain things, just forgetfulness, they'll just say it and not really mean it. Right? They'll say it but not really mean it.
And then you have some people
who will say
they're bad and not good, had a terrible meaning. They might swear they might curse they might, you know, wish evil upon others.
And they know very well what they're saying and why they're saying it. Like they're fully aware. They are fully conscious of what they're saying. They know why they're saying it, but they don't care. They're just saying it and they are few, right.
So we notice here that
at times people may other things they regret.
Human beings we do this at times, okay?
But when we realize that we do something wrong or we said something wrong, then we correct ourselves and we seek forgiveness from Allah subhana wa. Tada.
We also see that sometimes we may say things that we don't even know are bad or evil or take us out of this deem.
A simple example. And this is not something that I plan to talk about tonight, but I'll just use it as an example anyways, just to you know, explain what exactly I'm referring to here. You know, when people say,
there's no such thing as luck. Okay, islamically there's no such thing as luck. Everything happens. Due to the plan of Allah subhanaw taala it's been decreed by Allah, it is the mother of Allah subhanho wa Taala. There's no such thing as luck. things don't happen because a person is lucky things happen because Allah has decreed for that thing to happen to that person or those people. Okay. So when you wish luck upon someone else, really what we should be saying is, may you be blessed.
Right? May you be blessed.
Or Bless you. Right? Like you hear that phrase in English.
To say good luck. No. You know, it is blessings right from Allah subhanho wa Taala that something happens. And at times when people say it's bad luck, that's the complete opposite. No, it's not bad luck. There's a reason why that happened. And it is from Allah subhanho wa Taala. It too could be a blessing in disguise. We don't even know why that happened, why that took place. Why it's even happening. But it is from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we leave it at that. So my brothers and sisters, that is a simple example of how sometimes we say things not even realizing what it means. islamically does it take us out of our belief in Islam? Well, it means that we are putting our trust
in something other than a loss of hundreds and it like charms. You'll notice sometimes people wear bracelets that have charms on them and they'd be like, okay, you know, I need something today. So they'll touch or rub that charm or though you know, hold it and pray you holding that charm of money or something that is not according to our Deen and not allowed because we're trusting something else other than Allah subhana wa Tada. And so when we say
what you're doing is you're saying may something other than the blessings of Allah subhanaw taala be the reason for you to be successful at what it is that you're trying to achieve. hope that makes sense. All right, so let's look at
alpha of attack fear, what to do? What seek
statements or phrase of crowfoot, right?
You're accusing others of disbelief or
phrases that are conveyed to her. And we'll do this from next week onwards in sha Allah, or we'll cover this next week. And the third thing as well. Tip seek which is immorality, phrases, words that are immoral. We'll look at that next week. inshallah, let's focus on unfounded fear.
In the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu, wasallam, he said,
and specifically he says, most Muslim men, loggerhead he was solemn, right? When a man who's Muslim
makes tech fear as in a case another men
who is Muslim, of being a cafe of being a non believer.
Even if the incana Cafe Iran, even if he is a non believer, what Illa Cana on world cafe. So, either so let me let me just say the ladies in English, right? When a Muslim men accuses another Muslim men of being a non believer, it is either he who is an unbeliever, or that other person.
So either the person who's saying, You are a non believer is the non believer or that person now, when, for example, someone comes up to me, okay, and says, How dare you do this? You're not Muslim, you're a Catholic.
And that person is a Muslim. So when that person says it to me, for example, right, and you can think of yourself someone comes to you and is arguing with you and says, You're a catfish or you're a non believer, you're not Muslim.
know very well that you're a Muslim. What just happened there, that person committed an action that can take them out of Islam, they are accusing a believer of not being a believer would actually either means that the person who's being accused is the non believer or the person who's doing the accusation is the one who needs to refresh their Shahada, they need to refresh their testimony of faith. Now,
a lot of us feel that we only take the Shahada once, and that's the end of it. Right? Like when we see someone embracing Islam, we make a big deal out of it, of course, hamdulillah we're happy and it's good, right? That we do do that. And we're like, okay, now you are entering Islam. Yes, this is their first time testifying their belief in the ones of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And that there's none other than Allah that is worthy of being worshiped. But as believers we didn't Lee refresh our shadow,
our belief in Allah subhana wa Tada, not just once. Just once. Let me ask you this question for all of us that were born into Muslim that raised us as Muslims, when did you take the Shahada?
Right? When did you testify that one moment that one lever
so as Muslims, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when encouraged the Sahaba, viola, and whom they would do an action, of course, that doesn't mean they did something that non believers, but they did an action of ignorance and action that is only are usually done by the people don't believe, who don't have that guidance from Allah subhanaw taala not following the guidance, I should say, that came from Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Then we should refresh our
Shahada. And this is why after we make every single time we make the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is that you finish your riilu you complete your Ooo, you raise your index finger and you look at the sky. Right you look up shadow, Isla Lola, the hula Cherie Keller, shadow under Mohammed and Abu What are Zulu. Every single time we make will we refresh our belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala.
What are we about to do? We're about to go and pray. Right You make although usually usually you're going to pray. Either you're going to read Koran or do something else or some sort of a bad day, but eventually, throughout the day, you're going to pray. Right? So you testify your belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala as the one and only true God worthy of worship, and that there is none other than Him worthy of being worshiped. Okay?
Sing Good, good question would sing the Shahada dream to Shaheed count, as well, yes, sing the Shahada during the Tisha hood, I should do ilaha illallah wa shadow under Mohammed Abu Muhammad Rasulullah. Right. Seeing the Shahada in the Salah is also a form of us renewing our belief, you know, testifying that we believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Another heavyset, we'll take we'll take one more Hadeeth and that'll be it for today. Insha Allah Allah
Koehler legitness of what are the Allah who said that the message? messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said when a person says that people are ruined,
or did right, then he himself is ruined. As the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
either color Virgil holla can nurse for a Lego home.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says when a person says that people are ruined, he himself is the one who is ruined. Now what that teaches us is the importance of controlling what we say, to large gatherings in groups of people. What youth better than all of these people. Do you know the intentions and the heart and the purity or what you would assume to be the worst and the rottenness of someone's heart and an entire group of them. So here the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is Tina's don't say evil things upon groups and masses of people. You don't know that maybe amongst them is someone who's good, right? So we should always try to make do out and ask for goodness for
others. But this is an example of how sometimes we say things or other phrases without realizing that it goes against our Deen. So the first example that we took was the example of the Shahada, right
sorry, was the example of a
accusing another person of not believing. Remember, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says when a Muslim man or a Muslim person, right?
says to another Muslim,
that you are not a Muslim or accuses them of not being a believer.
Either that person is not a believer, or the one who's making that statement is not the believer.
Okay, so one of the two of them is not a believer, as in one of the two of them is doing something that is wrong, and of course,
Hopefully the Instagram is okay, I received the call and Okay, I think it's good. So, again, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam warns us from accusing others who are Muslim, of not being Muslim. Now, there's a difference between saying that to someone or about someone who openly declares that they're not Muslim, someone who, you know, openly says another. And they say it, haven't even want to say that myself. But some handler then there's a difference between that. And then the second thing we looked at was, you know, when a person says that people are ruined, then he himself is the one that is ruined. Right, encouraging us not to see evil upon groups of others.
Who is it?
Who is it?
I forget his name, Uncle Sam.
So who is at the door? What did they do? What did they want?
You don't even know who it is. Because I do
have gray hair and it's someone just showed up at our door. And
trying to describe who it is the person from the masjid the uncle with a beard, and they have gray hair. That's like every other brother.
Alright, so that's all that we're going to take for today in sha Allah Tada.
If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. If not, then we'll we'll conclude here and prepare for sold out to the marketed. Remember that this is the last few minutes on Friday.
Before sell out to the market before the Friday ends, right? So it's an important time to make your app. So if you don't have any questions, and you don't want to stick around, then go and make your deal out right and you should want to read some quotes and you can do that as well. So someone's asking with regards to saying good luck. Is it valid to consider luck is from Allah as in in accordance with the decree of Allah? No, because what you're saying really is
I understand your point, I see what you're saying. But we should make dua for that person. Right? Like Marsha a lot of our collateral robotiq Allah who, right?
Goodness upon that person. Goodness that comes from Allah subhanho wa Taala luck in itself that I encourage you to stay away from using that term luck is because it's understand understood completely differently in the context of the world and the society that we live in today. Okay.
So I know some people will say but what if you think and consider that luck is the goodness that comes from a lot?
Okay, then say something else, right? Because that's not what it means in this society that we live in. Okay.
So Sister sedef, is saying please make dua for my husband's visa still waiting Allah Subhana Allah make it easy for your husband, may Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless you and your family and allow you to be reunited altogether. Allah subhanho Italiana grande to long lives upon Islam and Eamon Lawson, Kanagawa to Allah, facilitate and ease all the affairs of all the believers, especially those that are watching and attending the classes with us on a weekly basis. I mean,
what would you recommend for non believers as in in a workplace setting?
So here's the thing as Muslims we should wish for, it's towards non Muslims. Now, if you want to think of it as blessings, right as in, God bless you, when you say God bless you, right? What you're doing is you're hinting you're hinting to them. The fact that you are a believer, right? Not really hinting you're stating it right. But you're bringing that
Bringing the discussion of Allah subhanho wa Taala of God right the topic of
divinity. So, I usually like to encourage using phrases that will have some sort of meaning when when interacting with non Muslims especially at work.
For example, you know people like to say blessings, right as their parting from one another blessings, what is blessings at least they know that you are someone who is spiritual, someone who connects with, with Allah right with God and worships Allah subhanho wa Taala and I also like to encourage using the word Allah at times when discussing with non Muslims instead of just the word God, because God can mean them in their mind, a different God. When you say Allah, you are defining which
which deity or which of
your basically defining who worship, can you worship Allah subhanho wa Taala.
So alternatives to saying Best of luck in future in your future endeavors, you can see
wishing you wishing you all the best, right wishing you all best, right? Goodness, right. And it doesn't have to be general, something we just stick to general phrases, and that actually takes away from the personality of or the personalization of what you're saying to someone else. Right? So when you just say
Best of luck, right? Or wishing you the best, best of what, do you even care about what you're wishing upon me? But when you say, you know, you don't have an exam or you know, someone is traveling, or you know, someone is going to have a surgery. You know, you are specific in that. Right. May, May you have a successful surgery, you know,
I'm praying and asking that, you know, you are cured from what you're going through. You know, I hope you have a pleasant vacation.
I hope you have a good weekend. Right? I enjoy the weather and so forth. So you're actually seeing something specific. Okay. See to Amman, Muslim.
Okay, so like I said, if if someone is openly declaring and they're not Muslim, and you, you know, refer to them as a non Muslim and there's nothing wrong with that, okay. There's nothing wrong with that.
All right, um, that that's it seems like that's all for today is that Kamala Hayden or barakallahu li comm so Panchen Lama will be handy Kenosha to alert enter in the antenna still federal community
center and more Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh