What the Fiqh – Ep 05

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. Welcome back to what the fifth

like that Naima,

we are here joined with a very special guest a brother, who's in Toronto right now for Muslim fest. It's an annual outdoor as the largest Islamic outdoor, like, you know, kind of festival. And he's come from Seattle to be with me here today. And we actually were working on a film for the past few weeks. So in sha Allah, that'll be available in the shortcoming while brother Sam, Mohammed is with me so Nico. Well, hello. How are you doing, brother? I'm doing great, man. What's going on? Man? I'm just the title is so funny. Why? This is a funny title, man. I mean, that's the question. everybody's asking like, Yo, what the *, man? What's up?

So but I think the discussion I want to have with us around a few things. Yeah. So if people don't know, what would you define yourself as your Are you a poet? Are you a rapper? I'm, I'm a hip hop artist, your hip hop artists. Okay, I stopped for love brother. Amen. You represent the culture. All right. So let's go to culture. Okay, coach. Okay, that's good. So, you, you and I are both in this realm of creating, you know, like, islamically based, you know, poetic storytelling, rapping, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. Would you call yourself a sheet artist? You know, that's, that's what people label me as an artist. But I never identify as an artist. I want to tell people I'm

gonna sheet artists, right. I mean, the sheet artist to me is kind of corny to Yeah. And the reason why is because you know, people feel comfortable with that word, because they're associated with, with, with the Arabic language. Oh, and just because you use the word in the seat, all of a sudden, this Hello? Yeah. So you're trying to read for the culture that it'd be at the end of the day, like, what I do is hip hop, you know, me, it comes from hip hop culture, you know, so, and a lot of the times, the only reason why people get uncomfortable with the term rap or hip hop is because they're associated with black culture. And there's a lot of anti blackness, especially in the Muslim

community. So that's the only reason why people don't feel comfortable with that word. Right? But in reality, it's like Islam never came to abolish culture, within every single culture, including a Moroccan eat within Moroccan culture. There's, there's many aspects of the culture that's not permissible within the religion you're saying. But Islam never came to abolish, it came to, to teach us to learn how to take the good and leave the bad, you know, so even within the hip hop culture, there's things that are not permissible in Islam, but all I got to do is stay away from it. Right, right. I mean, I'm a hip hop head. I've been a hip hop head since I was, you know, a young boy, I

remember the first tape I was ever given. So my mom my older sisters, you gave me a Tupac Shakur. What was it? Well, it was in the 90s man, it was fresh though it was it was like fresh out of he just came out of prison or something like that. And I remember listening to it and automatically being able to connect with the content behind it, you know, from his his own difficulties navigating you know, whether the justice system or whatever, but as I got older, I learned more about Islam. I learned that Okay, there are definitely elements of this particular culture or niche which completely go against Islam. Yeah. And I said this before in another interview, that in many ways

hip hop became like a religion. For me. Hip Hop became something that hip hop has rituals. What do you do when somebody dies? You go to the grave and pour some liquor out for them, right? This is like their rituals. This is a bad that in hip hop culture. Yeah, I even heard one one famous rapper say, I won't say his name, but he said that Biggie and Tupac were like profits. Right? And, and for them, those two figures are like these overarching, important figures. But of course, islamically we know that's obviously nothing to do with, you know, the right path, of course, but so you label yourself a hip hop artist? Yeah. Would you consider yourself to be a Muslim gospel artist? I never

really thought about Nah, I don't think so. I just made that up, by the way. Yeah. I mean, but like, like, I guess what a lot of Muslim artists do is Islamic gospel. Right? Because I mean, spiritual music ministry or whatever you call it, and is inspired by the Islamic faith, right? Wouldn't it be the same thing? Don't just call yourself a Muslim gospel artists? I mean, Christianity has that Yeah, in you know, exactly. No, but for me, I mean, it's different for me because

my content is not the niche is not specifically like,

like, it's so my life is inspired by, by spirituality, aspects of spirituality and faith and religion is a big part of my journey. But that's not my content is not fully focused on

Um, you know, Islamic content, you know, I mean,

a lot of my content is comes from, from my life experiences and storytelling, and you know, trying to navigate, you know, through through my society or, you know, my upbringing and trying to understand my emotions through creative expression. Right. So in just dealing with pain and trauma, you know, anxiety. So, so it's not really, that that's why I wouldn't consider it that. Tell me a bit about your journey. I know, obviously, we've been hanging out for a while now. And I, and I think you have a very interesting journey. I think a lot of times, we sometimes neglect where people have come from, and we see them as they are now we don't realize how many hurdles they've had to

overcome in order to be where they are today. Yeah, right. You're a person who's overcome a lot in your life. And because of that, you know, it's, it's obviously in all aspects, Allah has given you these tests for a reason. But you've been able to overcome those hurdles. And now, you know, you're here. Yeah, Allah. So give me maybe, you know, a brief summary of you could say, some of your background people that don't know, you know, where did you grew up? How did you grow up? You're obviously born in Morocco. Yeah, I was born in Morocco, and moved to the United States when you were How old? I was. I was one years old. Okay. And so what happened after that? You moved with who?

Yeah, so my, I was born in Morocco, and my, my biological father left before I was born. So you know, in any any society, you know, single mothers, I was looked down upon, because Where's your father at? Oh, what was your husband that? You know, did you even get married? Right? So all these names are being called towards the single mother, right? So my mom got fed up. And she wanted me to look for my father in Italy, where they met. And he was having he was like, yo, why'd you come? So my mom was not trying to go back home. So she moved to Seattle, where her sister was living. And

then,

yeah, pretty much from there. A few years later.

My mom, my mom met my my, my father, my stepfather, but I call him my father. But in he lived in a it was a rough neighborhood in Seattle, it was in South Seattle. And it was pretty much the housing projects of Seattle, like section eight and, and housing projects. And I've been there my whole life, like literally, I never lived anywhere else besides South Seattle.

And, yeah, growing up, it was just obviously, I know, according to culture, poverty, you know, there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of experiences we go through,

you know, just

dislike the whole culture with violence, and, you know, drugs and

you know,

it's something I was exposed to, from a very young age, and even like, friends joining gangs, and it was just a normal thing, right? It was not, it's not really something I looked at as, as like a traumatizing or at the moment, I'm just living, I'm just regular for me, you know. But I remember something that really stood out to me.

And this was like, I remember it being a very big part of my journey was in 2007, when my mother, she went into a coma, because the doctor gave her medicine she was allergic to. And I remember that, specifically, it, it took a toll on me. And I remember, I used to be like the middle of class, in high school. I was like, 1314, and I would feel these chest pains. And I was literally had this I got, I couldn't breathe, you know. So I would rush to the nurse's office, and I'll be like, I can't breathe, for the chest pain was going on. And then this would just tell me to sit on the floor, inhale, exhale. And she would just tell me to focus on my breathing. Later on in my life, that's

when I started to realize, okay, I was I was having panic attacks. Because every night I will be sitting by my mother's side, watching the tube going down her throat keeping her alive. And at that time, I was like, you know, like, if you were to ask me, are you okay? I'm chilling, because I used to suppress a lot of these emotions, a lot of this pain. And it got to a point in my life where

I couldn't hold these emotions in anymore. So I turned to

what I knew from my environment, why see my peers and the people around me doing right and I did a lot of things, you know, in my life that I regret to this day, but I was a product of my pain, I was a product of my environment.

And, and I was just like, every other person in my community, who've experienced trauma growing up with without their fathers growing up, you know, I'm saying without the parents even or, or just, you know, experiencing any type of trauma, you know, and, and turning to like, substances to numb the pain, because you don't understand these emotions. So you want to just suppress these emotions, like I don't want to deal with this right now. So you turn to the substances, but in reality, the substances is put you in a deeper hole

to the point where you get into deep and I eat now you're just stuck in this lifestyle, and there's no way out right? So when was that journey that

kind of brought you towards spirituality. Obviously, you're born from a Muslim family, you know, Islam is probably something which is, you know, around you, but when did you consciously make a decision to say, you know what I want to really become a better believer. So my mom was in and out of the hospital my whole life. Like literally, like, since I was 1314, for all i can remember, like the hospitals my second home. So I was I was in another hospital. And I've seen my mother's health deteriorate get worse, over over the years. And

I just remember, like, there was a point of time of my life man, where my mother and my father, not my biological father, but you know, my parents, they would, they would literally sit me they knew everything I was doing. I was I was living a very, very bad lifestyle. And they knew everything I was doing. And they sat me down. And my mom and my mother would cry. And she would just be like, like, when are you going to change? And, you know, I, I didn't like, at that time, I was, I was just a stubborn kid. I'm just like, Man, you know, I mean, I'm not trying to hear that right now. Let me just live my life.

But I realized there was like, this time period where

I sat down with my mom.

And I realized that

her health gotten so bad.

And I didn't realize

it's like I was living at home. But those nights, I wouldn't be at home, or I'll be outside at four or 5am, you know, I was nose getting into trouble. And I realized her health progress, because she has a progressive muscle illness. And I was like, man, like, all these years passed by, and I didn't, I didn't get to cherish her, at the time where her health was at its best. And, and that's why that's what taught me was like, man, I gotta learn how to be present with my, with my mother. And because I don't know how long that how long she has on this earth. Right? So I didn't want her to leave this earth. Sad, because of the way I was livid. And I did not want to leave this earth,

with her sad of the way I was living, right? So so it came to a realization, I'm like, man, all these people I'm calling my friends, are they really my friends, if they're taking my, my, my precious time, away from my mother, right? Because at the end of the day, like, like I could get you know how many friends that I won't consider my friends anymore. We get so many friends that come and go, but we only get one mother. So that's something that really like, made me just

this maturity, young age.

And obviously, like, there was like specific experiences when my mother

when she was in a hospital, that's when, when it was very difficult for me

to just watch her go through so much. And then there was times where I would just like, I'll literally I'll just break down. I'll just stop crying, I'll be praying, you know, and I'll just stop crying No. and begging Allah to help my mom Get out, get out of the situation that she's in, give her one more chance. So I could prove to her that I'm going to be a better son, you know. So obviously, your mother's health problems were something which kind of, in a way, they they they gave you a reason to,

you know, have this turning towards the last panel? Tada. Yeah, a lot of times, you know, sometimes we don't realize why we're being tested. But the last panel to Allah and His mercy, he gives you tests to remind you, of what you're really here for what's most important. And ultimately, who is the one who's in charge of everything, right? I mean, we could be healthy today and tomorrow's panel, we're in a very bad situation. Exactly. Right. So now talk to me about your artistic journey. Yeah, this was more of kind of your spiritual inclination, but I mean, what really brought you towards art, and it's something that you've always been doing? Yes. So I grew up in the community,

like when you look at, I've traveled a lot the past few years. And you notice every single country you go to

the people who are at the bottom, like in the hood in the slums. You know, you notice most of the time, like the coaches, is there at the forefront of, like popular culture in mainstream media. Right. And in this because they're the ones with the hit, that they're the ones with the stories to tell, you know, and people like these stories, you know, and and everywhere you go, you see like a different demographic, right? Do you know of people who are at the bottom of the bottom like you go to, to, you know, I'm saying the Netherlands, you got the, the Moroccans and the people from Suriname, who are in the slums. You go you go to, to like Francis out James and Nigerians or you go

to UK to the caribbeans. And the US, you know, I'm saying to African Americans, Latinos, so so in every way you can go into Word, it's like that, right? People at the bottom at the bottom are the ones at the forefront of the of mainstream culture, right. They're the ones to get exploited.

Right, because of the talents and the story, whatever the case may be, but I grew up in a similar community, like where I grew up was, was the poorest part of my city. You know, I'm saying, everybody, and that lived in my neighborhood, my neighborhood was was was was low income, it was poverty. And, and the biggest culture that was influenced in our community was hip hop, because that's what hip hop came from. Initially, you know, I'm saying it came from these communities, you know, I'm saying, right.

And it came

as a culture, you know, saying to give a voice to the people and, and, you know, allow people to speak against the passion that they're going through and, and speak about their experiences and their stories, right. So I was always around this, because this is all I can remember this, I was always around the culture. Right? So it was always a part of my life.

And,

and, I mean, since young, like, since I was in elementary school, I remember just messing around and writing raps. And, and this is, you know, I remember my first piece, I think I was eight years old, it was like, my name is Isa Nissan's me, I'm talking about my philosophy, things I do to people I see.

It's funny, because when I think about the flow, after I was eight years old, so that was like the old school flow, you know, swag back then. It was fine. I was eight years old, though, you know, but just from that time, you know, like, I was always missing around hallways, everybody. freestyling rapping, being on the tables, you know, saying so it was always a part of my life. But I remember the first time I wrote a piece that was like, about my story.

It was when I was like, 15 or something.

I was 15 years old.

And I wrote a piece about my father experience. Hmm. Because at this point, I never met my father. I don't know how he looks like I never spoke to him. I'm 15 years old. And then

I wrote a piece about my father experience.

It was like a rapper. This is a rap. It was it was a song. It was like a 16 bar on instrumental, one of the auto homies like, he was making the song and he gave me the beat. And I was like, yeah, let me hop on it, whatever. You know, I never got on the check. But we couldn't you anyway, I got kid. But I wrote it anyways, you know, and I remember pulling my brother to the side.

And I was like, yo, yo, let me speak to you real quick, you know, and then turn on the instrumental and I spit it. And then it was like, an awkward silence. And he was like, we didn't really say anything, because he was shocked. Because that was my one of my closest Bros. But I never spoke to him about my father experience. And he was like, What the heck, and I didn't know you, you went through that.

And then, you know, we just kept pushing, but I remember at that moment, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my chest, man, because I spoke about my pain. You know, I mean,

and from that point on, I was like, Man,

you know, creative expression is for me at that time was a remedy.

And it gave me an understanding of my emotions and my pain. So I began writing, because I felt like it was something I needed to do.

Right. We spoke about I mean, even on the on the drive here, we spoke about

a lot of people that do experience sometimes, whether it be mental health or trauma,

aren't completed great role in helping to alleviate some of that pain. And that built up frustration, right? Like I know, for myself, writing was always very therapeutic. Because I could put all my thoughts down on paper, and my pen wasn't my paper and pen weren't going to judge me. Yeah, there was no, you know, you're wrong, or this is your you're dumb, or whatever it was, just let me just get it out. Right. But I think also, especially as people of color as Muslims, there's a stigma around getting real help, professional help, you know, because what you experienced is a form of trauma, right? And that's something that I don't think we as a community should be shy about

stating or should be, you know, dismissive of, like, you know, and for myself, I've done it, like I've spoken to therapist, I've actually, you know, been and what's really cool about therapy for anyone who's who's never done it, is that this is a trained professional, who also sometimes, you know, when you're able to kind of vent in a constructive way onto someone who kind of knows how to navigate situations, they're able to help you rethink or reshape the way in which you see a situation, right. Like sometimes you might hold a grudge against someone, like, you know, you might hold a grudge against a teacher or a parent or whatever. And the therapist might help you understand

where that grudge is really directed what that feeling really means, right? So, it's important, I'm giving this advice to you and to everyone watching Of course, the art is great. And of course, I'm an artist, so I'm always gonna, you know, be on the side of art. It doesn't necessarily replace the real help. And I learned that later on actually

for the big period of my career, I was like your art is the answer you know, saying it'll help you out. Because you're you're venting in your get your understanding your pain right through wedding

But I've had moments in my life on my artists in my artists career where I had very dark points. And I was I was.

And I learned that that, although it did help me in those moments, it wasn't, it wasn't like, it wasn't permanent. You know, I mean, like, it helped me for those moments, right? Yeah. But

like you said, Man,

you know, I've had experiences even recently, where I had very dark moments. No, so

Okay, you got Ebola or something was going on.

Tickets, I'm jealous. So now that you're an international performing artists, you know, Mashallah, you're on the big stage, Muslim Fest, you're hanging out with me everything God's coming to your way. Mashallah. What What would you say? Are some of the lessons you've learned? Or the fic? I should say, what's the fic of being a Muslim artist? What are some of the things that, you know, if you could have told yourself back then to prepare for, you would have said to yourself back then, there's no handouts in this game, you know, I'm saying, I think, you know, sometimes people messaged me that like to share my work better.

People don't follow me to listen to your work or see somebody else's work.

You know, I mean, so

if you want to

make art, your career, whatever, all you got to do is be consistent.

And practice.

And keep practicing until you get good. And you know, I mean, I nobody is born. Amazing. I'm saying that you have to practice to, to be good at what you do. Like nobody's born a professional basketball player.

Nobody's born a dope poet. You know, I mean, like, when I first started, compared to now, it's a big difference.

And it took me, you know, just continuing to create content, you know, saying to to progress as an artist, right. So, you remember the first time we met?

Or the second The first time you performed? Yeah.

Yeah, I think that was one of my first some, yeah. Was it the first time you performed for like a Muslim? Muslim audience? I think so. I think that was one of my first so it was like, it was, like 19 or something. Yeah, it was a film screening for my film, tug of war. And you were the opening act. I remember you had these big timber, Timberlands, on my who's this guy. And they and they brought you out and they didn't even tell me that like, Oh, he's just gonna open up and he's gonna do a thing. And I was like, Alright, I mean, didn't really fit with the event by my art cool. But then he was dope. And I'm like, Okay, I think back then you were also more kind of poetic. You're

trying to you're trying to do more poetry and you're really fighting your truth at all, which is, which is clearly more hip hop. Because before that, I was doing music. And then everybody goes, Steph is where they are. Let me try this poach stuff out. Yes. Hello, right. Yeah. I didn't know about this whole acapella scene or whatever. Yeah. So that Yeah, I remember that apology. The apology is not really my thing, man. I like I appreciate it. But it's just, you know, I mean,

I went back to my fifth row. And I, and I think that's actually a lesson for a lot of artists that are out there, that especially I see this a lot. Because like, I'm a real poet in the sense that I actually have like awards and poetry quoted by GQ, GQ, CBC, I'm say, I'm a big deal. Yeah. Right. So when I see a lot of artists who are really rappers, you're a rapper, and this guy, I knew who the moment I met you, I'm like, this guy's a rapper. He's not a poet, right. But I think that there's a natural inclination to be like, Alright, well, poetry is and is the next best thing, right? I can't really do what I want to do, which is rap. So I'll let me just do poetry because of pressure of the

Muslim community. Right? I would tell those artists that it's better they just do what they want to do, but but do it within the parameters of the *tier do it within a way. And I think it's what you're doing is what you're also doing is building a niche and building an example for people to follow, right? Which is to say, No, you can do it without, you know, instruments, you can do it in a way which we believe is halal. And you can do it in a way which it doesn't sound cheesy and it doesn't sound corny, I think is the big fear of a lot of people think I'm the only example of that. Oh, well, I think you got competition brother. Oh, you me food. Are you talking about coming from

the throne? Oh, no, no, no, you you still young brother, you still have much to learn young Jedi. You remember that story? You told me which one? You

know, I never fell off. Somebody accused me of falling off. But I'm still here, brother. I'm still here. I'm loud and unclear. But anyways, my point is that what you're doing now, I think is is better than what you were trying to do back then. Yeah. And I think that, you know, slowly over time, it's difficult because you're also you know, you're trendsetting, right. You're You're really carving a path. Yeah, and it's always more difficult. The first one who walks through is always gonna, you know, take a lot of the errors

So what you're doing now is trying to pave the way and people afterwards will inshallah, I mean, you have a lot of kids here now coming up to recognizing you and be like, Oh, you know, I really like your stuff. But I remember back then you didn't really have anything to show. It wasn't like, you know, or at least with within poetry, it wasn't your comfort zone. Right. And I think at that time is because there was not a really a lot of Muslim artists that were doing it, you know, so are examples with a few poets that were doing their thing, you know. So in our mind, we're like, Okay, this is the only thing that we could do without getting critiqued by the Muslim community. No, I do.

I remember when spoken word poetry was that. Like, I remember when I started doing poetry for the Muslim community, it was very much like, what is this? Why isn't it like how we think it's supposed to sound? Right? The big critique I used to get is it sounds too much like rap. Right? That was the big thing. And in my head, I was like, you guys are bugging anyways, like I know what it is. And I know what it isn't. I know rap. I can rap if you want, right. But I just found it. And obviously, you said in the beginning about, you know, black culture, how innately that's something, which is how too many Muslim community members. But one thing I noticed was that, you know, at that time, it

was something which was a little bit out there, it was a little bit taboo. And now it's something completely accepted. Yeah. And it's funny because like I said, this is like one of my backing checks like my instrumentals, whatever you want to call it. I'm rapping over it. Take any Arab or DC or any type of machine artists to do their thing on top of the same thing I'm doing, they're not gonna get critique, but the fact that I'm wrapping all the stuff I love rather than imitating the Father, I'm Yo, you know, saying it's like, Yo, this is my culture. My imitating Oh, man. Yeah. So it's just interesting man. I've seen I've seen a lot. But also the thing that I try and explain to people is

like, okay, you know, we we will almost romanticize, you know, like the poets of the past, instead of instead of the lion who is a, you know, we know, is his famous companion to the Prophet, I send them he was this major figure in Islamic art history. He uses poetry and his art to critique the Quran, the ones because, you know, obviously, the poets at that time, we would insult the process and I'm using their poetry, right, but people don't really think about this. I said, Amitabh it never invented a new style. Yeah, right. His style, the format was the same thing that these koresh poets were using against him and against the Muslims. Right? It wasn't like he reinvented the wheel.

He just took what they were doing and put an Islamic twist to it right he just started saying words which were positive Yeah, so I think that's one thing that we sometimes forget it's not really about the medium per se the medium can be interchangeable it's about the message and what we're trying to put out even the Prophet adapted to different cultures right, like the painting with the ring or you know, the ditches in the in the on the floor. Yeah. knows, like this all came from

so now what what are some of the fitness you find? What are some of the difficulties with being a Muslim artist? What would you say are some of the things that you weren't exactly prepared for?

It's funny, I never even like plan to do what I'm doing right now. I just kind of put out art, art and then local means position but

I think

the

fitness

is starts with a she.

I think men sisters got to be a fitness. I don't like it. I know when you're out there, you're on Igy you're smiling. You're cheese in your grinnin I'm sisters a slide in them. VMs I rather here's my daddy's numbers I keep it professional. Anyways.

I think

at the end of the day, bro, like, the the Arabic word for for human in

the Rams derives from the

Arabic word of the one who forgets insane. Yes. So it's within the essence of our creation. As humans to forget, we constantly forget, sometimes our ego creeps in.

You know, we get big headed, because we'll put it on the stage or whatever the case may be. So I think he's just constantly reminding yourself

like where you begin in the best way I remind myself is by looking at like a young kid, a teenager a child perform for the first time. That nervousness and you know, saying this that pureness of them just performing. This added the level of you know, so that's my biggest reminder is just seeing how children move. No say. And then the pureness of children because you know as adults, bro, we're full of it, man. So yeah, I was very PG answer.

Bro. I know. Look, I'm telling you from my experience. Okay, sisters. Were a major fitna for me. Okay, I'm putting myself out there. It's not just about you. It's about everyone. Especially if you're single, which you are currently.

from you at the time of this recording. You're single I might be made by the time it comes out. Hey, that's it. Bye.

Alesis let's make this a

I was gonna say bit but we can't do that. And now

this this will be in sha Allah the seed we're planning to bring it into the universe by the time this releases then or it could be because of this release, you become married. That's another No, you never knew that man. Right? So I'm sure I'll tell you my experience. Can you tell me if you can relate? I remember when I was first started performing. There were a lot of sisters who have messaged me, and they would say, brother, I really like your work. You know, this and that. Sometimes I think, especially as men, right? Our first instinct is to be like, Oh, she she's hitting me up like, Oh, she must like me, like, like me, like me, like in an intimate way. Right? And then I

realized as I got older that Nah, sometimes she's just being polite, just being nice and saying that she likes your work. Yeah. But then other times there are those weird, like, I would also get a lot of those weird like, Oh, brother, you know, heart and smiley faces and emojis kind of like unnecessary things, which really play with your mind, and they can play with your ego, and they can play with the attention a lot. You know, have you experienced anything remotely similar to that whatsoever? I think we all do. Not all of us some brothers out there. They don't have any, you know, people don't know them. It's a lot easier to just kind of go on to do. I've been in some weird

situations, but I had sisters hit me up like y'all chugging married, huh? You know, I'm saying and I'm like, I don't even know who you are, you know, saying yes, I just I just ignore the message, you know, when it comes to a situation like that, but and I've had some some pretty weird situations, man. Is it more difficult from your experience being out there to actually then find the right person? Yes, actually, that's actually some something that people they think is easier for me while I'm out here traveling.

But it's, I find it more difficult, man. I don't I'm not sure the reason why. But I know from my, from my experience, I know even my wife before I got married, you know, the whole traveling and being known. wasn't necessarily like, it didn't work to my advantage. Right? It was kind of like, okay, so you're not going to be around a lot. And and, you know, all these other sisters potentially will be, you know, looking at you at a certain way. It was almost like, it was a strike against me, right? Even though how many like I'm out there. I'm trying to give Tao I'm trying to be productive. I'm trying to give back to the community I'm trying to teach. Even then. It's still almost like a

strike against you. Yeah. Right. Do you find that to be the case? Yeah, I've actually, I don't know how to detail on the I don't know, you won't cut it out yet. No, no, this is a raw podcast. We keep everything even the coughs we keep it all. Amen. I'm gonna be coughing all day. Well, but no, I remember the sister I was trying to pursue.

And she told me she was like, yeah, you know,

like, I'd rather

speak to somebody or get married to somebody

who is not in the public eye, you know, the somebody was more low key. And I feel like, like, part of the reason is because she thinks because I'm in the public eye. I'm, I'm talking to all the sisters and, and,

and I'm probably not taking me seriously. No. So I mean, I was just, I was just like a, like a small, small thing.

That made me just kind of think about like, Oh, snap.

Me, I think sometimes as artists is okay, that you're in the public eye. So so you like you would think that they're okay. Because you're in the public. I know, the sisters are, like, you're in a better position to get married, whatever, you know, but that's not the case. And I think a lot of times, sisters, they don't they don't look at it, you know, I'm saying, you know, what I see, I see the brothers who I've seen, that got married before they started doing art, or before they started becoming more well known, I find that their marriages typically are more successful.

Even though you know, they get married in a very traditional way. Maybe that's my biggest fear, actually, just to finish that up. Sorry to cut you off. But my biggest fear is somebody marry me because of what I do know, rather than getting to know me as who I am, you know, me my character, right? Yeah. Because bro, anybody could judge you off of this three minute video put out there, whatever it is, Oh, my God. But

you know, that's that was my biggest fear. You know, so that's why that's why I brought it that that's because that's what that's that's that was my biggest, you know, saying? concern, but she was just like,

I'd rather not, you know, say get with somebody who's in your position worked against you? Not for you, you know me. So yeah, so Exactly. Yeah. So the brothers that I've seen that have gotten married, and then started pursuing art or started becoming more well known. I find that typically speaking their marriages, you know, they last longer as the right person. They, they're there for them with the right for the right reasons. Yeah. The brothers who I've seen who, you know, whether it be through Instagram or whatever, you know, they meet girls and they get married based off that. A lot of times those marriages, they're very superficial. Sometimes. It's almost kind of strange,

like a sister who wants to be with a brother who's in the public eye. That's also a bit weird. Yeah, right. Like if you want to be a person who's also connected you

Want to be on the arm of you want to be like a trophy wife, that you know those people who are attracted to that type of attention, I typically find them to be

a little bit toxic, almost, you know, that's not something you'd want to put yourself in front of, it's almost like something that you have to, you don't know, if you're ready for it until it happens. And you don't know if, if you're the right person to be in that situation until you're put into it. Right? My wife, like Hamdulillah, my wife is a low key person, right doesn't really have a need or anxiety to or desire to be put out into the world. You know, I never post pictures of her I never, you know, but I know that the opposite of that there are some brothers who sisters, you know, their wives want to be like, all up in their videos, they want to be you know, I mean,

like connected to them, even on the social media world. And I feel like that's also a weird line, once you cross it, you can't really go back. Like if you're a brother, and you start putting out pictures of your wife and you start showcasing her in the same capacity of the art or the world that you're in. It's almost like, you know, she becomes a spouse and also like a business partner, or she comes invested in your success or growth. And it's not just related to Muslim art, but related to really anything. I found it not very, I know, myself and my wife, we can't do business together. Right? Like she kind of helped me with certain things like maybe some you know, tasks that I'm, if

I'm working on a project, you can be there to kind of help me balance some things out. Yeah, but I can't. I feel like it makes it difficult. It puts a strain on our relationship. If you know at home, we're talking about outside stuff if we're talking about business stuff, or if I need her to do this or run that errand. Why don't you do this? Why you can't get him You can't get mad at her. You can't fire her. Right? Because you live with it. Right? So you're stuck.

Similarly, the sisters who want to be with especially she, you they get this a lot, you know, and I think sisters that want to be with a shift that's like to them, it's like, oh, that's my free ticket. Like, okay, this guy is gonna go to gender, he's gonna, you know, he's gonna hook me up or whatever. Like, they don't realize it's, it's a it's a fitness in and of itself. And on top of that, it's like, a lot of these people like, in the position of being in the public eye.

Online, they could look like the best people, you know, I'm saying, Oh, yeah, I can look like somebody who was you know, I'm saying Mashallah. But in reality, like, when you get to know them, there's some of the worst people you will meet, you know.

We've seen situations to men, when people get an exposure to stuff, whatever, right so, so

and that's why I want to separate like, like, when I get married, I want to separate the two in terms of like, what whatever I'm pursuing.

You know, I mean, I don't want I don't want like what I do to be effective. The reason why we get married, you know, you don't you don't want to marry a fan. Yeah, I don't I don't use the word fans, but Okay, okay. Well, what would you say? I don't know. Seattle has a weird term supporters doesn't like the word fans. My patronage my co sponsors, my sponsee Okay, so you but you don't want to marry someone and this is my advice to you. Don't marry someone who is

diehard supporter, you know, she's at the concert with the I Love You Sam t shirt on. And I'm saying like, that's a dumb, yeah, shout out to them. Definitely. Right. They got that shirt, they got illegally because you don't even make them. Right. But if you are in a situation like that, I would stay away from those sisters. Probably not the best ones. Right? You want to find someone who knows what you're about appreciates that respects it? But it's not the main reason why, you know, she wants to know more about you. She cares more about the individual rather than the exterior. There is, like you said may not even be true. Yeah. But you know, I'm saying like, if my sins had an odor,

nobody would want to come near me. And um, you know, I'm saying so.

Yeah, man. So what are you looking for? Then? Let's let's put a call on it.

Was this a setup? Yeah, that's a bro. I feel like I set up too tight.

You just got catfished brought to the interview. This was actually a matchmaking website.

The arts over so what are you looking for? Let's let's put out there. There's some sisters listening. Maybe they're interested. Maybe they they got that Moroccan fever. You know, I'm saying

she's gotta be smart. I'm gonna do this for you. You gotta be smart. Gotta have Dean.

She's got what you fill in the blanks. What's your ideal woman? How would you describe her?

ideal woman, okay.

She's got to be supportive. and caring. Obviously, you mentioned situation about your mother. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah. So yeah, my situation a little bit different. You know, I mean, but

I mean, at the end of the day, like your wife is gonna be your friend, you know, your best friend. Right? So And just like with any relationship with any relationship, there's always going to be ups and downs. You know, I mean, so.

Somebody, somebody who's who's patient, you know, I mean, forgiving. Oh, yeah. You know, saying that's very important.

You know, saying Sir, we all slip up, right? Yeah. If somebody that could grow with you know, man

and somebody that I could I could be a support for them on their journey and vice versa, right. So yeah, I don't know man. So where should they send their applications to? Is there a specific peel box or what's your website? But amazon.com Listen, sisters if you're really interested, you messaged me in sha Allah, I'm gonna be the link I'm hook you up because I, I promised brother inshallah he's gonna try. We're gonna try and get him married ASAP and by the end of 2019 by the end of 2019. So we got a few months left inshallah. So we got to get it in for him. But anyways, I'm looking at him for joining us. I appreciate your time. I appreciate your talents. appreciate your efforts in sha Allah,

or where can people find you online? Where were you at? I'm on Instagram. I'm on Twitter. What's your name on it? It's a different name. It's not what people would expect. You know, I heard a lot of people have trouble finding me on social media. Yeah, you know, even I do. By the way, I try to tag you the other day. And I was like, What is this guy's name? Again? I completely forgot mass. 139. You know what time it is. build that out. Mass ma SS ma ss, e o n e? three, nine. Okay. You know me so just think he saw my name. He saw him backwards. He saw a mass. Oh, and that's what it is. Okay. I didn't realize that. I used to do graffiti. That was my technique. So if anyone sees

that on the on the trains or anything they know who to blame. Yeah, man. Okay. And then that's it. What about Twitter, Facebook, anything like that? All the same? But Facebook. My name is Ahmed Mohammed. I'm on

YouTube

youtube.com

you own youtube.com? I've never heard that before. I'm on youtube.com my space my space as well. Yeah, I got my space. I haven't used it since I was like 13 blackplanet. I was the black planet. You remember black planet? Listen, but will you more 70 Oh, man, here we go. Asian Avenue. That's old school. Okay. Anyway, my oldest one is my speech. When I say Oh, yeah. My aim to back in the day aim. AOL.

A Well, I did have a lawyer Ask Jeeves.

That is okay. young young. And he was talking about hidden what the fic you've been tuned in. inshallah we'll catch you next time. Okay, Santa Monica Martin was lucky