The Challenges of Muslim Youth in the West – Questions and Answers
Channel: Bilal Philips
File Size: 75.94MB
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Karim? Allah Allah was hobby many standard vicinity laomi Deen All praise is due to Allah and melas Peace and blessings beyond the last prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and an all those who follow the path of righteousness until the last day.
And this is the q&a
section of the evening. Inshallah, we'll take some questions from brothers. And also, we'll take questions from sisters, which is, which are being sent by text messages. And so everybody will get a chance to get their questions heard, and hopefully inshallah answered. But before moving on to the questions, I just like to stress
the importance of
we ourselves as existing fathers
and mothers here,
ensuring that we know Islam
and know Islam properly, and practice it.
Because in the end,
the success of our children Islamically
will largely depend on how much we are ourselves conscious of what Islam is, and really and truly live the tenants of Islam
because though we may appear as
practicing Muslims, mean that we do Muslim practices,
if our hearts are attached to this dunya
to such a level, that we have allowed our children to go astray on the scale that they have done.
And this is saying something about
our practice practicing Islam
that we Yes, maybe are more conscious, or more conscientious in
doing the rituals. And on the basis of that we are called practicing Muslims, but is practicing Islam.
Just practicing the rituals
will rituals get us to paradise.
Reality, of course, is that without the heart
without the heart being committed to Islam, then no amount of ritual will carry us to paradise.
Because the heart is what will determine everything.
As the Prophet SAW Salem had said, enough in just 30 Modar, there is in the body, a clump of flesh
in a solid, solid, just a Dooku. If it is right, if it becomes good, then the whole body becomes good.
And if it is dead, if it is attached to the dunya,
then the whole body
is dead, diseased and attached to the dunya.
So though we go through the ritual, those rituals have no impact. And our children will see through those rituals very quickly and very easily.
They will abide by them when they're young enough and we can force them threaten them,
know they're afraid so they'll do it. But as soon as they realize that, all I have to do is call 911
Then you can't do it anymore.
You can't do it anymore.
So if we don't win their hearts for Islam
they will not be Muslims.
If our hearts are not
one for Islam, we haven't submitted our hearts to Islam to Allah Vanda Allah, then,
as they say, for the Shayla Yachty, one who has nothing cannot give anything.
I would advise those of you that
have the opportunity or are able to find the opportunity to learn about the religion properly
if we're not, if we recognize that we're not effective parents,
we don't really know what we're doing.
We don't know how to win our children over how to guide them.
We're just mumbling and fumbling
damaging our children on the way.
First Allah Allah decree In Kuntum la Tala moon. So the law tells us go and ask those who have knowledge. If we don't have it, we shouldn't be ashamed to recognize our weaknesses and get help.
Of course, first and foremost, we should try to get help from other Muslims, Muslims who are knowledgeable in those fields.
But if we can't find any Muslims, even to go to non Muslims, at least get some doesn't mean that because they're non Muslims, they don't have any knowledge, which can benefit us, of course, now.
We have to turn this situation around.
Otherwise, we're doomed.
And we represent here,
what is happening the rest of the Muslim world, the problem is not really just confined here to us here. And now.
We are carrying with us the same problems which exists back home, it may not be as obvious because the concentration of Muslims is greater.
But the same same thing is happening there to back home. That's happening
in our own Muslim countries.
So among the opportunities that we may have,
for those who want to know more about Islam, we have a university set up called the Islamic online university,
which provides knowledge about Islam.
Even in areas of child psychology,
education is all brought together under the general banner of Islam.
We hope that those of you that want to enlighten yourself, because you don't have the opportunity to learn Islam in a structured program, so you can learn it properly and pass it on.
As opposed to attending a class, a circle, sitting with one person or another.
Occasionally, Friday, you hear things but in the end, what can you do with it? You're not learning in a structured environment, everything else that is important to us. We learn it in a structured fashion. We'll go to a school. We sit under some experts, whatever we learn in a structured way, this is how we really learn. If we're not instruction programs, then we are exposed to information, but we can't really utilize that information.
So the Islamic online university, which has a diploma program, we're currently more than 100,000 students around the world studying free, absolutely free.
Courses are available, access it there is also a BA in Islamic Studies, which is virtually free it is for less than nothing. And
it is accredited.
A means to study for those of you who want to gain better knowledge to benefit your families. This is an opportunity for you
Allah has made this possible and I hope Inshallah, that you will take the benefit from it. There's a few pamphlets here for those people who are interested after the lecture you can come up and get
Got a question.
Love salatu salam ala Rasulillah hamdulillah villa is the second marker for the dutiful topic that he brought up was very scared.
So, I just wanted to know, what are the mechanics to avoid?
Other that specific age you were mentioning on between 15 and between 13 four figures whatever age is that decades to
be in front of that event before it can it can happen to me catalyse has been given to us so we can prepare for that.
That's the age. Okay, brothers
question, request for some advice
for how to prepare for that decade of rebellion, where we have lost and are losing, and continue to lose so many of our young people?
Well, as I mentioned earlier, the starting point is our schools.
You know, if we have a Muslim school here, and we can't even fill it, there are vacancies in the school even
below the the junior high, there are vacancies in the school.
We're not filling it. But even more importantly, as I mentioned, we need to have the high school and junior high functioning.
We need to bring it back alive again. People spend money and time and effort to set it up build it.
And it fell.
It fell due to a variety of different reasons. But simply because it fell, it doesn't mean we cannot revive it.
You know there are new administration, there's new efforts, new blood is coming to the community wherever we can bring it back to life again, that will go a long way, at least for those who are able to get into the program will go a long way to saving those. But of course not everybody would be able to get in. And what do they do? Well,
they also have to consider that that period of junior high school and high school is so critical that we have to look at the alternative in front of us, which is homeschooling.
It may seem to be something very formidable that how we're going to do this, but reality is that there are 1000s and 1000s of families across Canada doing it. Missy has one of the best homeschooling provided by the government homeschooling programs, with tutors and everything to help you teach your kids right at home. Save them from that circumstance. But Muslims don't even know it.
Well, we don't even consider it.
We're used to just dumping the kids in the school and say, you know, Inshallah,
we have to take an active part in
educating our children and raising them, we have become inactive, we have to be actively engaged.
And of course,
we need to have this program running right from kindergarten all the way up.
To try to catch them even in that last decade. If they're messed up in the six years before it. It's not that easy. But still you have a chance.
So better than nothing.
But technically speaking what we need to do is all the way because that is the rights of every Muslim child, that he or she be educated by believing Muslims. That's the right.
When we put our children in the hands of non Muslims
we have sinned.
It is a sin.
Typical years when their minds their personalities are being formed. And we put them in the hands of non Muslims who are secular and their outlook. And education is culture being conveyed.
Its culture, there is information, but it's mixed in it comes in a cultural package, and that culture is a secular culture. A godless culture, as a secular means sounds nice when you say secular, but in real terms, it's godless. A godless culture.
So these are among the things that we have to do. Among them is, as I mentioned, this is sort of a repeat, we have to have functioning masjids masjids, which serve the needs of the community, if our biggest need is the loss of our youth in that decade. How can we get them back to the Masters because one of the seven who are shaded by the throne is what Raja lune Allah whom Allah can bill masajid
the man woman whose hearts is attached to the masjid?
So how do we get that heart attached, we have to find ways and means of bringing them back to the masjid, that they will be attracted to the master. Now, if you go to them and say, Come Come to the master, there is a talk
what am I gonna do same old, same old. That's what I heard before, when I was growing up. I don't need that stuff anymore.
But if you said,
come down to the center and play some basketball, or some football, come in church, that's fun.
So if that is what brings them
then we have to make that available use that channel by which to reach out to them and to educate them to try to save them.
You're doing that in other parts of Canada, and Toronto Hamdulillah. The Masjid I was in Abu Huraira they develop what they call the NBA, the Muslim Basketball Association.
And they made up teams from all across the GTA across the Toronto. And they played and they have championship and they've branched out they have a branch now and
in Ottawa, they're going out to Montreal. And we can do it here too. And the boys will travel they meet. And they're doing this within an Islamic framework there. There are those who survived that period, who know what the problems are, who are their coaches who are training them, etc. But when the time for Salah comes, the game stops everybody prays
for them to go to play in the championships. This too though the the players who are chosen are those who regularly attended classes because all the students are supposed to attend some classes on the dean.
So there's that combination of sports and Dean. I mean, if we're going to attract them, we have to offer them something which is attractive.
which appeals to them.
We have to find other methods and that's why I said we don't need to build more mosques
in the way that our mosques are today where we spend a lot of money to make that beautiful dome.
That beautiful dome because for all of that we could have made a center for the youth
You know, and that beautiful dome is not so now
look at that.
Even the big minaret
so hard. I'm not saying without saying haram. But, you know we have to look at how we spend our monies. Because we will be asked about our wealth and how we spent it.
So we have to be wise we have to look at the realities and find solutions use our money
In a way, which is going to benefit our community.
take a question from the sisters.
A lot of people
say that the Islamic schools, their standards, the academic standards, and academic quality is not as high as
for people want to go into higher University better universities than the public for that reason.
question from the sisters quoted by the brother, about the standards of the Muslim schools, that a number of them
their standards are low.
The public schools are better higher standards. And if the children are to be able to continue their education, higher education, you know, they need to be properly prepared. So if the schools are not
functioning properly academically, then the children will be at a loss, young people will be at a loss.
First and foremost, let me say that
our Muslim schools should be the best.
They should be the best.
Our children deserve the best.
We shouldn't cut corners.
We shouldn't, you know, be neglectful. While it's a Muslim school, you know, we can let this go. It's not that important. We don't have to do this. We don't no, no.
We have to do everything that we can to give them the best education possible.
Imagine if, when they do the government assessment of the schools, the Muslim schools, the four or five schools here, were number 12345. What do you think would happen?
What do you think would happen? Put in the newspaper? The top five schools in Vancouver? Are the five Muslim schools, people say wow, what are they doing there? Yeah, that would be dour, in and of itself, people will be coming down to see what's going on in this place.
That just by itself would be major Dawa. But besides that our children deserve to have that.
As the Prophet SAW, Solomon said, in Allah, you hippo Mina de comida, Amira Avalon, and you're gonna, Allah loves from each and every one of you, if you do anything, you do it to the best of your ability.
That's what we should have the best hear from Muslims. So it is shameful, really shameful, that
our schools have such a low standard, that people this would be an issue and a shame.
Part of it goes back to people's view of the school. You know, if we look at the school as a business,
if we look at the school as a business, then you know, when you're running your business, you want to cut down on your overhead. Right? Right.
Cut down on your overhead. So overhead is
qualified, well qualified teachers and you know, the other things. So you cut corners, you know, you don't need that lab. You don't need all that equipment or, well, when the time for inspection comes up, when we get new equipment, and the rest of the time, the equipment is broken, it's just left, you know, because we're only thinking in terms of business. But bottom line is that Islamic school is business for Allah subhanaw taala.
And that business for Allah will only be accepted by Allah, if it is done properly.
That's why the Prophet SAW Selim, it said you have to slaughter a goat, don't slaughter the one that's blind in one eye and his horn is broken and you know, is cheaper, but you know, it's not doing it for Allah, Allah, giving thanks to Allah, you started the good animal.
Same way with our school, we sacrifice to give the best for the sake of Allah.
So we need to do that. But at the same time that I say, on the other hand,
just keep in mind
that if our kids go to the Islamic school,
which is inferior,
but they come through with their Islam intact.
They're better off than the child who put in the public school system whose Islam is destroyed. But his academics are excellent.
We have to know what our priorities are
not as a justification for inferior education. No, we said that should not be, we should be giving them the best. But even if we don't have the best, we have to understand that the best for our children is to be on the path to paradise. It's best for them to know Allah, believe in Him, and live Islam. That is what's best for them.
But when we say I'm thinking of the best for my kids, that's why I'm pulling them out of Islamic school, and I'm going to put them in the public school, we have the question, What do you mean by the best?
What really is the best? Have you really understood what is best?
So we have to work on both ends. And I'm not, as I said, saying that we should be tolerant of inferior education for our children. No, we should insist, as parents, we should put pressure on the administration to ensure that our kids are getting the best that we can possibly give.
We should we as parents have that do to have that responsibility. But oftentimes, we don't take that parental responsibility properly. We see what's going on, we don't like it, we complain, we back by it, and we carry on in the back, you know,
nothing gets changed. We have to act
as a community and correct this job.
We, we agree, okay. For the time being we accept the shortcomings of the academic issues, for the quest taking our kids to the Islamic school. But on the other hand, we see that the kids are not getting Islamic education, either. You have non Muslim, non Muslim teachers, so much so that, in one case, a volunteer Christian missionary was hired to teach.
You bring out the issue, the teachers are trying to very subtly show of the non non non Islamic themes to the kids, like during the time of volitans, time of Halloween. And these are this is what normal teachers are doing in Islamic schools. When you come up and bring these issues to the principals and administrators, they just
don't pay attention.
Well, the thing is that what our brother is raising is another problem which exists within the Muslim schools where some Muslim schools are lacs about
what teachers may be doing non Muslim teachers who are in the school, they may be involved in Valentine's and Halloween and other things, which we know are it's on Islamic, not permissible.
But parents when they complain, they're not getting any kind of, you know, redress from the administration. This is a problem. Of course, it is problematic. But problem is that when individual parents tried to do this is what's going to happen. Unless parents get together. You know,
then they represent a voice that has to the herd.
That if you don't correct this, you know, we'll pull all of our kids out at one time, you know,
where there's pressure put on that these the administration's comply, that shouldn't be the brother was mentioned even in one school, you know, a, a missionary,
voluntarily relative volunteer missionary was hired was brought on he came on voluntarily and was teaching in the school.
This is something unimaginable.
But it will happen. And this is carelessness. Right. But, again, we the parents
are permitting this to happen
As a famous
American, black American,
you could say revolutionary, in the time of slavery had said that the limits of the oppressors are set by those who they oppress
a very powerful statement, the limits of the oppressors are set by those who they oppress meaning as parents, we set the limits we tolerate, then they will do.
So, if we act, we will set those limits, we will cause them to back up and get things in order. If we keep quiet, we just grumble and mumble and then they will continue, and it will get worse.
So, we need to come together as a body, there should be a parents association for the Muslim schools who can assess and look at problems and bring it as one voice to the administration that they must look at. They must address will not tolerate. But some schools they told me, one school told me for example, I spoke to earlier
today I was yesterday
that are in their school, they have a clear policy. No Halloween, no Valentine's, no birthdays, and you know, but even the non Muslims are known they know this is the rule is not in place. But the non Muslim teacher says a parent came with a birthday cake.
What am I supposed to do? I don't want to hurt the feelings of the parents, the school policies, no birthdays, parents are bringing this stuff. You know, so we have problems, problems which exists on both sides.
But there is a solution, we can correct it. We can learn. But parents as a body have to come together concerned parents. But actually, you know what I told this
principle, we were discussing this point I said, you know, they have an IT principle,
which is called garbage in, garbage out.
You know, garbage in, garbage out, meaning in your computer, if you put garbage in, you're gonna get garbage coming out of it, you'll print garbage, whatever. If you put in good stuff, good stuff comes out. That's how it works. And the school is the same way.
That actually the effective Muslim schools are those who interview parents before putting the kids in.
You know, that
they interview the parents. If the parents are not practicing, they say Nah, you know, don't judge me according to how I look, right?
I like Islam. I'm not practicing. But I like it.
I love this lab. But put my kid in the school.
I got the money I can pay.
Actually, putting that kid in the school is like a time bomb.
Because at home the family virtually are not Muslims in practice. All the garbage that the kid is receiving in the home, what do you think is gonna do bring it right into the school?
That's what's going on. But you you know, you're preventing these kids from from getting a chance to, you know, to learn then when you do that.
You're preventing those kids but we say look, we have a greater body, and we have a smaller body. Yes, those kids will be denied the chance to get the education.
But that is to protect the bigger body.
So in reality, this is something Muslim schools have to think about very seriously.
When you look at your numbers, find all the way up to grade six, and then seven and eight. They're dropping. Why is that? Because
garbage in, garbage out.
Most of those
Kids that are being put in there are garbage.
So when the time comes instead of because think about it, if those kids parents were seriously concerned about the dean and raising the children Islamically why in the world would they take the kids out in junior high?
It doesn't make sense.
But now, if the children who are put in from kindergarten their parents are practicing
then when the time comes for junior high, you think they're gonna take the kids out? No way.
What's gonna happen? The numbers are gonna drop.
But again, is it about quantity? Well, yes, if school is a business, we have money to make, then it is about quantity. But if the school is about, Dean,
it's a bada.
Then it's about quality, not quantity.
So this is a big thing, a big concept. But truly, the successful schools are those who follow that principle. You interview the parents, if they're not practicing, prepared to reinforce what you're giving the children in the school, then you don't need those kids.
You don't need those kids. Because whatever you teach them, when they go home, the parents are going to cancel it zero. You're going to lose. And they're going to bring back the negativity from the home right into the school.
That's the bottom line.
So for success, we have to think things out here now. Practically, yes, numbers of this thing, but we need. We need commitment to the deen. If we want this to be successful, this can only be truly successful with committed Muslims. We can raise a committed generation, there may be less. But at least we have saved that
up, do you recommend that families make
the question of Hijra for saving children.
If a person doesn't see any
way forward here,
they're incapable of
manifesting benefiting from the other options that are available. And they have the means and the ability to make hijra, then that's what's open to them.
You know, it becomes virtually obligatory for them,
to make that hero to protect their children. But the question was where?
This was the big question.
There are all kinds of issues out there.
And some of the places that we might think you know, this is you go there and shocked. Because this thing, this secular, God bless thing has been globalized.
It's been globalized, it's all over. It's everywhere.
So even the hedge or option is like
May Allah protect us?
What rights do children have from their parents, which I do from their parents, one of the first rights as I said is that they need to be raised Islamically
that both of their parents
are practicing through Muslims who married for the sake of Allah
and that the environment of their home, be an Islamic environment, which is going to help them to practice Islam to understand Islam to love Islam.
And while mentioning that
I should also
I mentioned that we have this other problem
in our Islamic programs.
Whether it is on the weekend, after school, and sometimes even in Islamic schools
our children hate the Quran classes, the Arabic classes and Islamic studies.
They hate it.
They don't like it.
You have to drag them bawling and screaming to go to Quran class.
Because those people who are teaching these subjects, these most critical subjects are not trained teachers.
They have inherited a legacy of abuse.
Those of you who went to Quran schools when you were kids, you know what was happening? You know, what you suffered. And this is all over the Muslim world, everybody's love because it's everywhere. This is a disease which has permeated our societies. We can laugh about it, but it's really not funny. It's very sad.
We have to correct it. We have to change our standards to meet what is correct what is good, what is better. We should not tolerate this kind of abuse any longer. I mean, there was in the newspapers.
Maybe a month or so ago, of one case where a kid was beaten to death because he was memorizing the Quran. Little kid about seven years old. I don't know if you guys saw it, it's out there Louis beaten to death.
This is madness.
What they teach the non Muslims or in this non Muslim systems education, they what they teach them one basic principle for education, that they stress to the teachers. As they train them, they say to them, make learning fun.
Stresses make learning fun.
When learning is fun, the kids will love it.
That's one of their rights.
That learning Islam is fun. So they can love it. But if learning is lamb is
twisting your ear bending your arm stand up against the wall on one leg.
The chicken you know the chicken right?
You know the chicken, the chicken where you? You squat, right? You're not sitting on the ground, right? You put your hands below your legs and hold your ears.
It's called the chicken
famous Pakistan is developed it
So this is among the rights of the children, that Islam be taught to them in a way which wins their hearts, that they love Islam.
Because it's attractive. It was fun.
And not something which they were forced. It was beaten on them forced on them. This is the right.
That will give them a chance
to live Islam. But the way that we have it going now.
No, I would have believed
I was the biller. How many children have suffered
even memorizing the Quran.
kids memorize the Quran and the heated after okay they finished it. They don't even want to hear the Quran after that.
A lot they'll guide us
what kind of young university
to avoid negative influences and temptations
What can Muslims, Muslim young people do to avoid temptation? Or the temptations of the college environment? Well, what my advice is, in general, that those people going to college have to be focused. Those kids going into college have to be focused. But again, you know, if we're not talking about
conscious Muslim kids, then how do you get them focused?
If you're not conscious, so we're talking about people who are conscious, if they're not conscious, and the problem is making them conscious, because you no matter what you tell them when they go in there, they're not conscious Islamically they're finished.
The University is the final stroke.
They call the coup de gras.
cut the head off. That's it finished.
I attended a conference after I came here the last time there's a conference in Toronto.
And in this conference, after the conference, I was walking around looking at the books and things outside there. And this sister came up to me
and she had tears in her eyes. She came up and she she said Salaam Alaikum.
And she said, Do you remember I was your student in Dubai is to attend your classes. I said Mashallah. Didn't remember.
I said, mashallah, you know, she said, What? Remember you, you told me and my husband, you know, we had two young sons, we wanted to go to you, we were asking whether we should go to Canada. You know, we wanted to make his trip to Canada. And you advised us not to go.
I could start to sort of remember that.
I said, Yeah, I guess Yeah, inshallah. And then she said,
and we said to you, after you advise us not to go that we just want it to go to get the citizenship. So be easier for us to move around to different places, we could work in other countries, etc.
And you advise this, okay? If you must get this other citizenship, then you go there, get it. As soon as you get it, leave. Don't let your kids grow up in Canada.
And we came to Canada
after we got the citizenship,
life here felt so comfortable.
So many things available,
free, you know, health or hip health and
causing so nicely made and so many things available in the society, so many opportunities, we just felt so comfortable, we decided to stay on.
She said this year, both of my sons
who I brought with me in the way
from the way both of my sons graduated from University of Toronto,
top in their class in physics, biology,
both openly denied the existence of a law
this is a practicing sister now, herself and her husband are practicing Muslims.
Most of them graduated atheists denying Allah's existence, not even doubtful shaky but saying there is no god.
so, young people going into university have to be clear, focused in terms of what they're going into study. They have to be clear about
what they plan to do when they graduate.
How they're going to benefit the Muslim community. We don't have enough teachers for our Muslim schools. So most of the Muslim schools have non Muslim teachers 50%
60% non Muslim teachers
is a failure on our part. Why don't we have enough Muslim teachers
because priorities have been set in terms of the dunya, whereas most of the engineer, doctor, lawyer, it's about money
but the need of the community. The great need of the community is to have Muslim educators.
So it's unfocused. We need to have them focused as they come into this. So they have a goal they have a clear understanding of the sacrifice they need to do for the sake of Allah. To understand that the study that they're doing in university is a badass
man Salah Kataria Khan, the ultimate Sufi Elman, Sahil, Allah, Allah who today, Jana, whoever takes a path in which years she seeks knowledge, primarily its knowledge of the deen or knowledge to serve the deen, then Allah will make the path to paradise easy for them. That's what we have to make sure they're going in with that
frame of mind. And then of course, that young person in college, they have to be careful about who they take as their friends. Because that's the other thing that's gonna come, isn't it? The peer pressure, the friends that you keep, you know you are,
who your friends are, you can judge a person by their friends. So very important that they understand that their close friends should be those who remind them of Allah.
That is critical. If those close friends are deviated, corrupted, etc, and they will be corrupted.
That was the example of the Prophet SAW Selim gave
of the curfew merchant and the blacksmith. For a few merchants you hang around with him,
he is going to either give you a little bit of his perfume, or at least you go away smelling good.
From all those bottles that were opened,
but the blacksmith either is going to be beaten around, move in the bellows sparks come out and burn your clothes. Or at least you go away stinking of smoke
And the West, they say
if you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas.
Not as beautiful as the example of the Prophet SAW salah, but it's saying the same thing.
So the environment who you take, as your friends are going to determine ultimately, how you graduate. Choose your friends. Well, as far as, as Alan said, You'll be raised on the Day of Judgment with your friends.
you basically discussing the important thing, which is the educational bodies, I think one of the most important thing I would like to hear your input about is communication within the family, between the parents and their kids, between the kids, the senior and the females themselves, how to keep that value of religion, especially, you know, the problem is
born Muslim families. Unfortunately, they didn't talk anymore, that the parents didn't talk to their kids and the seniors, they don't talk to the juniors and this is a big problem. So
actually, brothers question actually is a comment and I agree with it. 110% that
communication within the family is critical. You know, where parents are not able to communicate with the youth that the children or Chandra children, they're living in one life or one
realm and the children are somewhere else. There is no communication.
You know, it's only a command relationship. Do this. Don't do this. Get out. Come in. What are you doing? It's just
coarse rough stuff.
The communication is lost, but that's because it wasn't begin. It wasn't built from the very beginning. It's not something which just happens from the early stages that relates
ship that loving close relationship had to be there.
We are like a crab in habits amongst the Sahaba, who when he saw the Prophet SAW Salem kiss
hasn't seen young kids. He boasted, I've got 10 kids and I never kissed one of them.
You know, that's a man. The man doesn't show that kind of softness. That's like a woman stain. Probably saw Salah turned to him and said, What? Man liar hum, liar hub. Whoever doesn't show mercy to Allah's creatures will not receive mercy from Allah Subhana Allah to be a curse on us. If we don't have that closeness to our children, where we have communicated with them as they're growing, so they feel they can talk to us, we have explained Islam to them, we've not just commanded them, you are Muslim. So do it, have explained to them this is something pleasing to Allah, this is something good, why is it good because of so and so on. So we give them according to of course, the
level that we can explain to them, we get help if we have difficulty, you know, but we have developed those lines of communication from the earliest age. So we have that, then we have communication when they grow up. And if we haven't just been on the job, providing the money,
leaving communication to our wise,
the time comes, when we need to communicate, we can't, because the only time that we got involved, was when your wife says I can't deal with so and so anymore. He needs a spanking.
You know, so your job is come in and give him a few weeks and you know,
he fears you.
where's the love?
Medicine that 22 year old sister example.
So what his family's supposed to do and that you like that?
Okay, what to do if we find our children
the beliefs, the fundamental beliefs,
They have refused to practice Islam.
What do we do? Do we kick them out?
is at the point where you kick them out?
I would say no, they're your children. You have to work you have to look to see where you went wrong.
Try to help them, let them speak to other people, maybe people their own age, who are practicing. If you have developed relationships with other Muslims, their kids are okay have them speak with your kids, maybe you can't get across to them, maybe others can, you know,
try to find other ways and means whether it's through the media, whether the good lectures or DVDs, YouTube, whatever, which addressed youth and youth issues, etc. That could reach out to them. You tried to find ways and means, of course when it reaches the point when they want to come and smoke dope in your house, then you have to put your foot down. You can't say well, better they smoke dope in the house than out on the street.
No, then you're submitting to corruption in your own home on a level which is unacceptable. Because the younger kids when they see the older methods remove that older is like the bad apple in the battle barrel. You know you better to remove to save the others. You have to think about the other members in the family.
And there's a point where you have to stand
we have to know that in most cases where these kids have reached this state, we are to blame.
So where we have found them like this, we have to go and try and find the solution. You know we can't stand back and say well they will speak to us. We have to bend over backwards we have to go and find the ways because we have created the situation.
you said earlier
but they're not very
okay, brother, this question basically,
is what constitutes a truly practicing Muslim, a real practicing Muslim, it is one who externally practices what he internally believes. Not one who externally practices something which he internally doesn't believe. That is the we judge from the outside. Of course, we don't know what is necessarily on people's inside. So we can't go and try to judge what's people's hearts, we don't have that authority.
But I'm just saying in terms of reality, reality is that Islam is not only external practice,
its external and internal.
So aware, it is only external, and it is a facade. And this is like the person who the Prophet SAW salem said, it's a Muslim, who will do the deeds of the people of paradise as it appears to people. But he would be from the people of hell.
There are people who will do the deeds of the people of paradise as it appears to people externally we think this is a practicing Muslim. But because internally it wasn't there they will be from the people of hell.
So this is the state and evil state that Shall I ask Allah smart Allah to protect us all from
responsibility of the message of
what can be done
for stood for young people who are already messed up,
who recognize that they're messed up, because all
you know, if they don't recognize that they're messed up, then there's very little you can do. But if they recognize that they're messed up, and they need to, they want to change, they want to do something, and then a lot can be done for them, you know,
for one, we can bring them back into the fold. Rather than keeping them at a distance, bring them back into the fold, help that get necessary knowledge to improve and to understand what Islam is, get them counseling, people who are qualified counselors, not just, you know, the mom,
for the web, then
we need qualified counselors, people who are trained, who understand these type of problems and how to resolve them and help them to overcome them. But get them proper counseling, to advise them, help them to find jobs, whatever that they can slot in, in a way which is beneficial, we should have different Muslims will have businesses here should have slots for Muslims to work with them, maybe many people who do have businesses have mostly non Muslims working for them, you know, we have to consider this, that really if you have a business and you need workers, the people who have the first Right To Work With You are Muslims, of Allah has blessed you with means then the first people
who are supposed to help other Muslims, not to say you may not hire non Muslims etc, but priority should be given to Muslims. So by having
ways and means by which the young people can be reintegrated into the community through work, counseling, education, and youth programs, then they can be brought back successfully. But if we don't have these programs, we don't have anything to attract or to hold the youth even once you got them into the doors of the Masjid. What's to keep them there?
They'll eventually just find their way back out again.
A lot of kids say that their western friends or their friends, that border is worse things than they're not.
Okay. I mean, I don't know how true this is, but
and the quote from the sister side is that a lot of the kids say that their Muslim friends
are worse than their non Muslim friends.
So in this case, who should they choose as their friends? Well, obviously,
we as parents must have failed. If we don't have good Muslim friends
around us then we are the cause of that situation. So the solution lies in us looking at our friendships On what basis we have friendships and changing it to the proper basis which should be on the basis of Islam and Eman
if we have those kind of friends and their children will be good Muslims so our children's friends will be good Muslims so it goes back to the parents ultimately
a situation when we want to
educate our children
well, I'm not clear on that question.
What do you mean please,
if you want to
know what we do or educating our children in Muslim way or constant schools, when we live in a country where there is not an elementary school and in a country where some Muslim Rights are prevented by then you have to move if if if you want to raise your children Islamically and in the area that you are in whether it is a supposedly Muslim country or whether it is a non Muslim country, then what you need to do if you're able is to move move to another area this is where HiDrive is valid for you to shift to another area where you can find a Muslim school where your children can go to Muslim schools
if you can't move then you have to consider
homeschooling teaching your children at home
this is something that Muslims have to take on very seriously
you know which has been neglected in the Muslim community to a large degree
set my mind
I can say that
they have said philosophy and they are up there with schools and even some of
again nice because there
has been not
fortunately, that's killing people away.
Okay brother, stressing the point that the two myths that commonly spread about Muslim schools as justification for not putting their children in Muslim schools or moving their children to Muslim schools.
The myth that those students who
are in the schools,
their the school that they're studying in are, in fact, inferior to the existing public schools. The brother, who was, I guess, directly involved in had his own children in the schools and involved in these Muslim schools here is saying that this is not the case. That, though they may not be the best, they're still not the worst.
Not has its own issues, you know, I still feel my mind that, you know, I do agree with those who say, they should be the best. There's something wrong, why they're not the best. Because we don't have the distractions that the non Muslims have. They have all kinds of distractions, we don't have those distractions. So really, our kids shouldn't be the best, or school should be the best. So there is, you know, I'm not saying
we are the worst, Okay, I accept you, as you say, but we shouldn't tolerate meaning, just not the worst.
We should still say, as parents, it should be the best. But that's not justification, as I said, for taking our kids out of school, you know, or not putting them in the school. Because, as I mentioned before, their Eman is most important. Their Eman is more important, in fact, than their academics. But the other point, which was the economics, that is Muslim schools are so expensive, as our brother pointed out, that no child has been turned away from the school here. Because of economics, they work out something else for you, if you don't have enough, you know, honestly, you don't have the means it's difficult, you got too many kids, it's gonna cost you too much, they will work out
some way to get your kids in. So nobody is turned away, because like economics, so it is it is a false myth, which has been circulated that Muslim schools are just so expensive, we can't afford it. But what in reality is that people tend to put their monies and spend their monies, according to their own priorities. So they've chosen other priorities, and they're willing to put their money in and put it all in. And they've not they're not willing to spend their money on their children, as their children deserves.
There's a comment, I guess, from a sister
says there's something called PAC parents Octillery, maybe just every year they had they tried to give an opportunity for parents to raise concerns, but no parents show up.
The system is there, but No parent wants to utilize it. Okay, mentioned that there is an organization or gets a grouping
called pack, parents, action auxilary. Committee, but that parents are not involved in it. You know, they have an opportunity to utilize it to have some impact or influence on the school, but it's not being utilized. Of course, when asked to look into see why isn't did utilize, was it because parents did come together and they tried to do something and there was no results. And after trying so many times they say, well, what's the point?
So we have to, you know, we have to not just judge it, we have to look to see, what was the reason why the parents aren't involved. But I do know, as a general impression in many of the schools that parents don't tend not to be very much involved in their children's education. You know, I know that I saw that many places in Toronto, where you had some schools where the majority of kids in the schools were Muslims, and parents could have made a difference.
When they have Parent Teachers meetings, none of the parents show up.
So there is no input from the parents. And once parents are involved and the teachers become more careful, more concern and these kind of things. When they see that lack of involvement, then the parents feel
the teachers our teachers feel they can do anything. You know, they don't have anybody to check them or to question them etc.
Question is that this is a young
member of the community. How old are you?
12 he questions that if somebody builds a masjid
and Allah builds a house for him agenda, but he turned out to be a bad guy
will his house be blown up?
Well, truly Allah is just, you know, the house may be may have been built. But if he does deserve the house, he's not gonna get it.
There was a bad guy is not gonna get it.
And also, we have to think if he was really a bad guy from the first instance, when he built the house, it really wasn't for Allah.
The House of Allah the way he built the masjid it really wasn't for Allah so that he could have his name on the door it says Masjid Shan Sol
you know his family have mastered that that was a family name has to be in the name of the masjid and so you say what happened to allow for a loss not really for Allah so He doesn't get the house anyway
I have been
silent for a long time and even some family members knows that that's what we normally you'd like to describe me but but in a row
house those does that imply like feel it or take the role or what have to do with
the emblem to say
even though some people get the ambulance was still good
okay brothers question concerning
decorating the walls with Quranic verses
you know, somebody gives you a rug with nice calligraphy of ISO Corsi, whatever hanging it on the wall. And basically you're decorating your wall with Quranic verses
like the mosques in Makkah Medina and many parts of the Muslim world, you know,
what do we say about that? Well,
it definitely isn't from the Sunnah.
The definitely isn't from the Sunnah.
And it's preferable not to do so.
Because the master you have to think Prophet Muhammad wa sallam,
when he got a clock, which was striped, nice colors, whatever, from Yemen. And during his prayer, it caught his attention at the end of the prayer, he gave it away.
It didn't want anything that would distract his attention.
So even this practice of all the
stuff on the floor here, you know, prayer rugs, which are all these designs and you know, pictures and you're starting to pray and then the design starts to move on you. And you know,
actually, this is not from the sun at all.
If you have a prayer rug, it should be just blank.
Nothing on it. No Kaaba, no
And that's why non Muslim think we actually worship the Kaaba.
So, we have strayed in this matter, really, you know, we've strayed in it. To a good degree, we've lost the whole concepts of what is concentration in Salah Boulton. And we have been overcome by decoration, the love of beautification, and it's not to say Allah is beautiful and he loves beauty, allow Jamila cambogia he
It's true, but
there are limits there are limits
okay, we'll take last question from somebody who didn't ask the question
reminder for me and for for those
parents will see forces or header inserts or
this is mentioned before the
case that was was largely spread across a table
okay brothers comment
when he spoke about the
father had left well, buried under the wall that he rebuilt, you know, he referred to the parents saying
what who can Abu Saleh boo, my Sorry, sorry, can Abu masala
that their parents were righteous? So, the parent of theirs were righteous was righteous, so that the righteousness of the parent serve to protect the children. So again, stressing the importance of us ourselves being practicing
adhering Muslims adhering to the Quran and the Sunnah. And
me being careful about where we earn our money and where we spend it. You know, that the money we earn if we're earning haram
almost cursing our children is like a curse because our situation becomes cursed. Our do AI is no longer accepted, you know, because of the current state of the earnings that we we have so we have to try to make things as things as halala as possible. Our environment, our earnings, in all respects. Sharla with that, we're gonna conclude Subhanak Allahu Ambika shadow Allah, Allah, Allah and the stock Furukawa on the tune