Marriage In Islam

Bilal Philips

Date:

Channel: Bilal Philips

File Size: 20.94MB

Episode Notes

Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Thus,no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:00--> 00:00:06

Rotten Tomatoes Salaam Alphaville, Karim, Allah and he was hobby

00:00:08--> 00:00:19

has been upgraded due to a lot and a lot of Peace and blessings uniclass prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and allow those who follow the path of righteousness until the last day.

00:00:20--> 00:00:25

The topic of this morning's lecture is marriage in Islam.

00:00:26--> 00:00:27

And

00:00:28--> 00:00:30

the topic of course,

00:00:31--> 00:00:33

is of primary importance

00:00:34--> 00:00:36

should be to each and every one of us

00:00:38--> 00:00:40

considering the fact that Prophet Muhammad

00:00:41--> 00:00:45

had told us that marriage is half of the religion.

00:00:47--> 00:00:47

So,

00:00:48--> 00:00:57

if that is the case, then it is something which should be of major importance to each and every one of us.

00:00:58--> 00:00:59

Allah has described

00:01:00--> 00:01:03

marriage in the Quran

00:01:06--> 00:01:10

saying, woman iottie and Haleakala come in come as Raja

00:01:12--> 00:01:14

Raja Allah. Kumar doesn't work.

00:01:15--> 00:01:40

In the field, Anika is in the homeopathic saloon. And among His Signs is this, that he created for you made some among yourselves, that you might live in tranquility with them. And he has put love and mercy between your heart. Verily in that I find for those who reflect this is the 30th chapter, verse 21.

00:01:44--> 00:01:46

Allah stated that

00:01:49--> 00:01:52

husbands and wives are among

00:01:53--> 00:01:59

the mercies that He has given mankind. And this is among the signs

00:02:02--> 00:02:03

of his greatness,

00:02:04--> 00:02:08

the signs of His Majesty, his

00:02:10--> 00:02:11

creative abilities,

00:02:12--> 00:02:14

that had Allah wished,

00:02:15--> 00:02:16

he could have made us

00:02:19--> 00:02:19

organisms

00:02:21--> 00:02:21

that

00:02:22--> 00:02:30

multiply what they call a sexually that is having no need for a male and female.

00:02:36--> 00:02:38

It is his will, that

00:02:39--> 00:02:40

we are

00:02:41--> 00:02:43

male and female.

00:02:45--> 00:02:45

And

00:02:49--> 00:02:51

Allah has provided for us

00:02:53--> 00:03:04

a state of tranquility, tranquility being among the major goals of marriage, as a law says Leah

00:03:10--> 00:03:13

and as he said, he puts between us between

00:03:15--> 00:03:16

love

00:03:17--> 00:03:17

and mercy.

00:03:20--> 00:03:21

This is a lot of creation.

00:03:25--> 00:03:27

In doing so, he

00:03:28--> 00:03:29

gives us

00:03:31--> 00:03:35

a feeling of contentment and satisfaction.

00:03:37--> 00:03:39

In in world which is

00:03:40--> 00:03:45

a world of struggle of difficulty, survival.

00:03:47--> 00:03:57

We have a particular bond with a law has created which provides for those people who are living in this world of difficulties.

00:03:59--> 00:04:05

An area of security, of compassion, of love of tranquility.

00:04:07--> 00:04:09

This is a sign from Allah.

00:04:12--> 00:04:12

So,

00:04:14--> 00:04:39

oftentimes people think of marriage as being a means of procreating the species that is for us to have other generations of human beings. This process of marriage is necessary. It is not the primary process, because in this verse into our room, Allah doesn't speak up all about the regeneration of the species.

00:04:41--> 00:04:52

Not to say that it is not a factor obviously is not the primary factor. The primary factors Allah describes as tranquility, love and mercy

00:04:54--> 00:04:55

crackin

00:04:57--> 00:04:59

mawatha and Rama these are the three

00:05:00--> 00:05:01

terms with allow users.

00:05:04--> 00:05:04

Now

00:05:06--> 00:05:07

the process of marriage

00:05:09--> 00:05:10

involves

00:05:11--> 00:05:12

choosing

00:05:16--> 00:05:17

and

00:05:19--> 00:05:30

accord according to Islamic teachings. Marriage is not compulsory, but it is highly recommended. That is the one to

00:05:32--> 00:05:37

decide that you're going to leave, live a celibate life.

00:05:39--> 00:05:47

Celebrate, never getting married, to decide that is considered wrong, according to the planet teaching

00:05:50--> 00:05:51

deviance.

00:05:53--> 00:06:03

We know this because there was a particular occasion when some people came to the wives of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him, and asked

00:06:04--> 00:06:07

about the lifestyle of the carpet.

00:06:09--> 00:06:21

And after his lifestyle was described to them, they decided that since the Prophet was a prophet of God, guided by revelation, and allow would forgive

00:06:22--> 00:06:24

any sins that he had,

00:06:25--> 00:06:26

and guide him alive.

00:06:29--> 00:06:31

They needed to do more than the Prophet was actually doing.

00:06:33--> 00:06:38

So one of them for that he would never get married.

00:06:39--> 00:06:42

Because women were discussed destruction from worship,

00:06:43--> 00:06:44

they have needs,

00:06:45--> 00:06:47

you know, that have to be fulfilled.

00:06:48--> 00:06:48

And

00:06:50--> 00:06:54

just the the natural life

00:06:55--> 00:07:08

demands, so much of time, our man time that for a person who has understood the spirituality, as being

00:07:09--> 00:07:15

extracting oneself from the material world, then woman represents a problem.

00:07:16--> 00:07:20

Right, this is why you have the priesthood in Catholicism

00:07:21--> 00:07:29

and the monk, the disciples in the monastery nunneries for the nuns, because, in their view,

00:07:31--> 00:07:37

becoming close to God, involve detaching oneself properly from this world.

00:07:39--> 00:07:49

One of the major attachments to this world is male female relations. So one of the companions of the Prophet for he was never going to be nice.

00:07:51--> 00:07:57

The other floor that he would go all night, he wouldn't sleep at night.

00:07:59--> 00:08:03

And the third floor that he would fight every day

00:08:05--> 00:08:12

when the Prophet was not there at the time, came back and found out from his wives, what these people have said he called the people together.

00:08:13--> 00:08:14

And he said to them,

00:08:15--> 00:08:15

that

00:08:18--> 00:08:19

I am the best amongst you.

00:08:22--> 00:08:23

And I

00:08:24--> 00:08:26

read nice and I think

00:08:28--> 00:08:30

I passed and I broke my heart

00:08:31--> 00:08:32

and I married

00:08:34--> 00:08:44

so whoever prefers a way a Sunnah other than life enough, is not a true follower of mine.

00:08:46--> 00:08:49

That statement, he obeyed

00:08:51--> 00:08:53

celibacy. Now, a person may say, Well,

00:08:55--> 00:08:56

I'm looking for ways that I can find a way

00:08:58--> 00:09:05

to have some I go through my whole life, trying to find a suitable wife and I don't find one or a woman they find to find a suitable husband, I don't find one.

00:09:06--> 00:09:07

So what if I die in that

00:09:08--> 00:09:11

guy having not gotten married?

00:09:13--> 00:09:14

sinful

00:09:15--> 00:09:17

or if I'm divorced, and I didn't remarry?

00:09:22--> 00:09:40

No, because this is not something that one has chosen. This is the destiny. Whether one finds a suitable mate or not. This is about destiny. So Allah is not going to then punish us for adjusting destiny that we don't find somebody suitable.

00:09:42--> 00:09:49

But it is as long as the person has not decided he chosen not to get married.

00:09:51--> 00:09:52

Marriage

00:09:54--> 00:09:56

is something highly recommended in Islam

00:09:59--> 00:09:59

but

00:10:01--> 00:10:03

The process of marriage is not left

00:10:05--> 00:10:09

up to the individuals in the society to just

00:10:10--> 00:10:16

Bumble around until they find a suitable partner. You know, as things

00:10:17--> 00:10:20

appear today in Western society,

00:10:22--> 00:10:28

wherein the basic principle is that one must try out the goods before you buy them.

00:10:30--> 00:10:36

As a basic principle, you want to buy a bicycle or buy a car, to try to live its life.

00:10:39--> 00:10:55

Before you buy the goods, make sure it is in good working order. Okay, this makes sense in terms of cars, and bicycles and computers, etc. But now, when you take that into the realm of marriage, what they propose is that one should live with a person before you get married.

00:10:57--> 00:11:02

You know how you're going to know that you are compatible, unless you know you live.

00:11:07--> 00:11:09

That way of thinking,

00:11:10--> 00:11:13

destroys the bonds of the society

00:11:14--> 00:11:16

might seem logical when buying

00:11:18--> 00:11:18

equipment.

00:11:20--> 00:11:32

In terms of marriage, in terms of society and family structure, it is a devastating principle. The principle was destroyed by families.

00:11:34--> 00:11:35

Because

00:11:37--> 00:11:38

studies have been made

00:11:40--> 00:11:42

on people who marry

00:11:44--> 00:11:47

having lived together for years.

00:11:48--> 00:11:52

And those who married having never lived together.

00:11:53--> 00:11:57

And the percentage of divorce

00:11:58--> 00:12:04

following those who lived together for years, was higher than those who didn't live together.

00:12:09--> 00:12:13

Those who have lived together, that they know each other, and then got married,

00:12:14--> 00:12:21

the rate of divorce amongst them was higher than those who never live together before getting married.

00:12:23--> 00:12:34

It is studies done in America, showing that in fact, this principle is false. It may sound logical, but in practice,

00:12:36--> 00:12:46

what happens is that people when they live together without marriage, where there isn't a commitment, it's easier to get along. And to

00:12:47--> 00:12:58

let things go is you know, because if you aren't, you know, you can each go your own separate ways anytime, no problem. So people are more easygoing. Whereas when there's marriage in this commitment,

00:12:59--> 00:13:13

then people may have second thoughts in terms of making certain decisions, etc, etc, they have to listen to the other side, you know, they have to work things out. There's more pressure on them to work things out.

00:13:15--> 00:13:20

So those who have been living in an easygoing way, when they got married, it was so

00:13:21--> 00:13:25

it contradicted the way that they lived before it became uncomfortable.

00:13:26--> 00:13:38

You know, they will say no, I liked her when we were just living together. But when we got married, then she started to do thing and argue and business. And they can deal with it anymore. So now

00:13:40--> 00:13:41

at a higher rate

00:13:42--> 00:13:43

in the West, where

00:13:45--> 00:13:47

relationships between males and females

00:13:50--> 00:13:58

were virginity. In both the case of males and females, is considered something rare.

00:14:00--> 00:14:00

And general

00:14:03--> 00:14:03

marriages

00:14:05--> 00:14:14

are ending in divorce, at an increasingly higher rate, with every decade in America is well past 50%

00:14:16--> 00:14:20

of marriages, within the first two, three years of marriage ended in divorce.

00:14:23--> 00:14:26

So the process of choosing names

00:14:27--> 00:14:37

obviously, cannot be left to the individuals to experiment to Bumble around in the society

00:14:40--> 00:14:40

and

00:14:42--> 00:14:43

recommended

00:14:45--> 00:14:59

in both the male and the female. Usually when people think about virginity, they're thinking about females. And most societies, even the ones that are more conservative when they think of virginity, they're talking about female virginity and not thinking in terms of male virginity.

00:15:00--> 00:15:07

This is how the society generally looks at the marine facts. From the Islamic perspective, it's from both sides that it is considered

00:15:09--> 00:15:19

high and noble character, that both the male and the female at the time of marriage are virgins.

00:15:20--> 00:15:23

Because what this primarily does

00:15:24--> 00:15:27

is it prevents people from

00:15:29--> 00:15:30

comparing

00:15:32--> 00:15:38

a man and woman have never been married before, never had sexual relations before, when they married, there's nothing to compare to

00:15:39--> 00:15:42

whatever developed between them is unique and new.

00:15:43--> 00:15:45

Whereas when people have many previous relationships,

00:15:48--> 00:15:51

they will compare those people to the people they knew before.

00:15:52--> 00:15:57

And if those people don't match up to the people knew before, then there are dissatisfied

00:16:04--> 00:16:19

Islamic societies, in order to prepare the grounds for marriage, stand firmly opposed to any extramarital relationship, so much so that as you know, according to Islamic law, if

00:16:20--> 00:16:27

a male and female have relations outside of marriage, there is for them publicly 100 lashes

00:16:28--> 00:16:29

if they are caught,

00:16:30--> 00:16:34

without severe the punishment is the 100 lashes.

00:16:35--> 00:16:42

Publicly being a means to discourage in the rest of the society, this phenomenon

00:16:43--> 00:16:45

as a discouragement in determine

00:16:46--> 00:16:48

the fact of the matter is that

00:16:50--> 00:16:54

before that law may be applied, because people sometimes in very harsh,

00:16:55--> 00:16:57

chronic life or brutal

00:16:58--> 00:17:04

it's such a simple thing. They're going to publicly lash somebody 100 lashes publicly out. And

00:17:05--> 00:17:08

the point of the matter is that for this to be applied,

00:17:09--> 00:17:15

the people involved have to have been observed by four witnesses.

00:17:17--> 00:17:23

The law, the law is very strong. The circumstances of actually applying the law I limited.

00:17:25--> 00:17:31

Because how many circumstances are you going to find where four people are going to witness these people?

00:17:32--> 00:17:51

in America? Yes. Where you may go to a park, you know, where you're going picnicking, and you turn and look over in the bushes. And there are some people you know, having relations, they have to get this can happen in America, but in other societies, where you know, there is a conservative foundation to the society and

00:17:54--> 00:17:55

it's very rare.

00:17:57--> 00:18:00

So the cases that ended up being

00:18:04--> 00:18:11

the judgment being placed on it for the 100 lashes will be cases where the woman becomes pregnant.

00:18:15--> 00:18:17

And of course if a woman becomes pregnant, which is not known.

00:18:22--> 00:18:23

according to Islamic law,

00:18:24--> 00:18:28

Islamic teachings, we recognize that Mary

00:18:29--> 00:18:33

the mother of Jesus had Jesus by what is known as the Immaculate Conception

00:18:34--> 00:18:41

without being married, the virgin birth that is only the case of Mary

00:18:42--> 00:18:46

no woman was found pregnant can say that this was a new Oculus Virgin

00:18:49--> 00:18:52

Atlantic law will not accept this for anyone else besides Mary.

00:18:54--> 00:18:57

And now we recognize

00:18:58--> 00:19:00

that from the spirit world,

00:19:01--> 00:19:02

the gym

00:19:03--> 00:19:09

can affect male and female human beings even to the point of having relations with them.

00:19:10--> 00:19:16

We will not accept according to Islamic law, a woman saying it was a Jitney that made me pregnant.

00:19:20--> 00:19:26

A woman found pregnant was denied as only one recourse and that is punishment.

00:19:30--> 00:19:33

Now if he points the finger at a particular man and says well it was gone. So

00:19:35--> 00:19:36

it is not enough

00:19:37--> 00:19:41

for the loss of the applied to that individual unless he confesses.

00:19:46--> 00:19:47

Islamic law

00:19:48--> 00:19:52

is very strict with regard to relation

00:19:53--> 00:19:59

lowest recognizes that male female relations are from Allah.

00:20:00--> 00:20:01

His mercy,

00:20:02--> 00:20:07

it is restricted to the bounds of marriage.

00:20:09--> 00:20:14

And it is for the health and proper development of the society.

00:20:18--> 00:20:19

Therefore,

00:20:21--> 00:20:23

from an Islamic perspective,

00:20:25--> 00:20:28

families are involved in the process of marriage.

00:20:30--> 00:20:31

A woman

00:20:33--> 00:20:36

cannot be married without a guardian,

00:20:38--> 00:20:41

The Guardian being a male relative,

00:20:44--> 00:20:47

starting with their closest male relatives, or father,

00:20:49--> 00:20:49

grandfather,

00:20:51--> 00:20:53

or father, his brother, or mother's mother's brother,

00:20:54--> 00:20:55

own brother

00:20:57--> 00:21:06

have to be represented or have to give consent before that woman can be married.

00:21:07--> 00:21:28

This is sometimes looked at as being oppression of the woman in terms of the feminist women's liberation movement. Now this is looked at some kind of oppression that women are looked at, as like little children, children have father and mother has to be looking out for them all the time, like a woman is not free, she must have this male who's always looking out deciding Well, you can marry this one you can buy this

00:21:30--> 00:21:37

seems to be unfair, according to them, because the male is not required to have a guardian. But the female is

00:21:38--> 00:21:42

the principle of guardianship for the protection of the female.

00:21:43--> 00:21:55

In cases where women have no male Guardian, and the male Guardian should be Muslim, for a woman who accepts Islam, her father is not considered for a male guardian.

00:21:58--> 00:22:00

And I think the time is Wali.

00:22:01--> 00:22:04

If he is not a Muslim, he is not considered

00:22:05--> 00:22:16

if any of her close near relatives, immediate near relatives, as I mentioned, grandfather, father's brother, mother's mother, or her own brother,

00:22:18--> 00:22:25

accept Islam, then whoever amongst them accepts Islam will become her guardian

00:22:27--> 00:22:28

permission should be

00:22:31--> 00:22:33

in the process of marriage.

00:22:34--> 00:22:44

If there are none, then the state the court becomes the lybian.

00:22:45--> 00:23:00

The Atlantic chorus or the sonic community, the head of that community can assign that guardianship to a male member of the community to act as the guardian for that woman.

00:23:02--> 00:23:07

As I said, this is not a case of oppression.

00:23:08--> 00:23:14

This is not a case of considering women to be incapable of looking after themselves.

00:23:17--> 00:23:17

This is

00:23:18--> 00:23:24

a case of the society seeking to protect women.

00:23:28--> 00:23:29

Because

00:23:31--> 00:23:41

the person who loses or who is harmed in any relationship, which is not legitimate, primarily is the woman.

00:23:43--> 00:23:45

She is the one who is harmed.

00:23:48--> 00:23:48

Therefore,

00:23:50--> 00:23:54

a greater effort has to be made in the society to protect

00:23:56--> 00:23:57

protect your interests.

00:24:01--> 00:24:05

So, a guardian is required in the case of the woman,

00:24:06--> 00:24:10

not necessarily in the case of anatomy. However,

00:24:12--> 00:24:17

when a man is getting married, he still seek

00:24:18--> 00:24:21

the approval of his family.

00:24:23--> 00:24:25

The approval of the family Why? Because

00:24:26--> 00:24:33

the marriage is not the family planning perspective. The marriage nearly a full individual

00:24:34--> 00:24:41

doesn't matter about the rest of the family because you're a new family and you make your own way in society.

00:24:43--> 00:24:46

You have no regard for anybody else's opinion etc.

00:24:48--> 00:24:53

But it is considered to be the marriage of two families two families are coming together.

00:24:55--> 00:24:59

two families are coming together because these two towns are coming together then

00:25:00--> 00:25:08

The opinions or feelings of the members of both of those families should be taken into account.

00:25:11--> 00:25:18

However, the man is not bound by the opinion of his

00:25:20--> 00:25:21

family.

00:25:23--> 00:25:28

His knowledge can go ahead. Even if they don't agree,

00:25:29--> 00:25:30

though today

00:25:32--> 00:25:34

in much of the Muslim world,

00:25:35--> 00:25:37

where the family structure is still very strong,

00:25:40--> 00:25:44

will not go ahead and marriage if their parents disagree.

00:25:46--> 00:25:52

But in the case of females, it isn't possible if the parents disagree,

00:25:54--> 00:26:01

except where the reasons for disagreement are on Islamic

00:26:03--> 00:26:03

if a woman

00:26:06--> 00:26:16

wants to get married, and the parents refused to allow her marriage, based on Islamic reasons, Atlantic reasons, meaning that

00:26:17--> 00:26:23

the male who has proposed marriage, they consider it to be from

00:26:24--> 00:26:33

a lower soccer of society, family background is this than the other, or is from a different tribal grouping,

00:26:35--> 00:26:36

or so called race.

00:26:39--> 00:26:40

Or

00:26:43--> 00:26:45

it may be in terms of

00:26:46--> 00:26:54

their image of what the person should look like, maybe has a beard, and they feel that beard,

00:26:55--> 00:26:56

you know,

00:26:59--> 00:27:00

something's just not becoming

00:27:01--> 00:27:02

so

00:27:03--> 00:27:06

well, the parents have taken objection

00:27:07--> 00:27:08

on it Islamic reason,

00:27:11--> 00:27:13

then, the woman has the right

00:27:14--> 00:27:16

to approach the court

00:27:18--> 00:27:23

and seek for a new guardian to be assigned to her

00:27:24--> 00:27:26

whereby she can get married.

00:27:28--> 00:27:29

And why Islam

00:27:30--> 00:27:34

provides this option. Because, as Tom said,

00:27:36--> 00:27:36

If a man

00:27:38--> 00:27:38

proposes

00:27:40--> 00:27:46

and you as a family are satisfied with his piety,

00:27:47--> 00:27:50

his religious devotion, that he has a

00:27:51--> 00:27:54

highest person in fulfilling the standard duties.

00:27:56--> 00:27:59

And of course, has been to look after your family.

00:28:00--> 00:28:03

I mean, there are other basic conditions taken for granted.

00:28:05--> 00:28:08

Then if this person is denied,

00:28:09--> 00:28:10

is not allowed to marry

00:28:12--> 00:28:20

then there will be corruption in the land is what the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him predicted.

00:28:21--> 00:28:23

So, in a society, where

00:28:24--> 00:28:26

marriage is not facilitated,

00:28:28--> 00:28:29

there is going to be corruption.

00:28:33--> 00:28:42

It may not be facilitated by raising the boundaries to levels which are

00:28:43--> 00:28:44

insurmountable.

00:28:45--> 00:28:50

The family may say you have to give a diary of 100,000

00:28:51--> 00:28:54

provide a house and a car and adjust and adapt and you know,

00:28:56--> 00:29:01

though the woman may want the man and the man wants to marry he cannot afford.

00:29:02--> 00:29:06

It is part of the situation here, where dollars are so high

00:29:07--> 00:29:12

that men have to save for years.

00:29:14--> 00:29:15

They get married in the later years.

00:29:18--> 00:29:21

And women similarly, don't get married until

00:29:22--> 00:29:36

later in the in the Gulf states where they have also put requirements, you know, like Saudi Arabia, where they're not allowed, except with special permission to marry non

00:29:37--> 00:29:41

local. What that has led to is corruption.

00:29:42--> 00:29:48

Corruption in the land, corruption in the form of homosexuality and lesbianism.

00:29:50--> 00:29:52

Just as in the case of the priesthood,

00:29:53--> 00:29:58

where the Catholic Church provided the male for marriage

00:29:59--> 00:29:59

and the female

00:30:00--> 00:30:01

for marriage, the nuns,

00:30:03--> 00:30:24

this has led to the corruption that is exploding in the societies now we'll find how many cases in America and in England, etc, of priests on charges for molesting children, either to pedophilia and other, you know, hideous forms, or them becoming homosexuals and being quite open about or having illicit relationships with females no

00:30:27--> 00:30:29

corruption is going to happen.

00:30:31--> 00:30:34

So, from an economic perspective,

00:30:36--> 00:30:55

if a woman, her parents, just $1 is so high that she cannot get married, she has the right to force the court to override the decision of her family and get permission for her to get married without these high dollars.

00:31:02--> 00:31:05

Muhammad peace be upon him, told us

00:31:06--> 00:31:07

that

00:31:08--> 00:31:10

that first step of marriage,

00:31:12--> 00:31:14

above which he said, The Matura Shabaab

00:31:16--> 00:31:20

monster farm in como la police, as always hope you're all young people,

00:31:21--> 00:31:25

whoever among you has the means to get married, should marry.

00:31:29--> 00:31:31

And if you are not able, Grandpa,

00:31:34--> 00:31:35

this is a song recommendation.

00:31:37--> 00:31:48

Why when you look back historically, in the time of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him and the generation following you found that people married

00:31:49--> 00:31:52

in their teens. Today this is considered

00:31:56--> 00:31:57

outrageous

00:32:02--> 00:32:02

that was

00:32:04--> 00:32:05

the practice in the society

00:32:06--> 00:32:08

where marriage was encouraged

00:32:09--> 00:32:12

was the society health supported

00:32:13--> 00:32:23

families to be established. And as such, the level of corruption was far less than one would ever see today.

00:32:29--> 00:32:34

That is the general recommendation that Allah made

00:32:35--> 00:32:40

with regards to choosing a partner for marriage.

00:32:41--> 00:32:48

He said that woman and the same case woman relationship, the men are married for four reasons

00:32:50--> 00:32:51

for beauty,

00:32:54--> 00:32:59

for family status, or some big family, a famous family.

00:33:01--> 00:33:02

So a pious

00:33:04--> 00:33:07

and he said, marry the pious

00:33:08--> 00:33:10

and you will be successful.

00:33:11--> 00:33:14

success lies in marrying goals. Now.

00:33:16--> 00:33:17

This does not mean

00:33:21--> 00:33:30

it is primary, it doesn't mean that one marries a pious, male or female.

00:33:32--> 00:33:36

Even though one doesn't find that person to be attractive.

00:33:43--> 00:33:50

This isn't the first and most important things should be attraction, which is the western approach to marriage,

00:33:51--> 00:34:05

where a woman will not consider married or left when she sees this man, you know, she sees stars. And this is actually supposed to see stars, you know, should appear somehow, you know, she's just overwhelmed by this

00:34:08--> 00:34:17

same thing with a man and that's when he sees her, you know? Wow, you know, he's just as you said he idolizes her unless that feeling of idolatry is there,

00:34:19--> 00:34:21

then marriage is not considered.

00:34:23--> 00:34:29

Well, that is an extreme. Islam at the same time, does recognize the importance of

00:34:31--> 00:34:32

physical attraction.

00:34:33--> 00:34:34

This is why when

00:34:36--> 00:34:37

I look at them,

00:34:39--> 00:34:45

not only in the case of the man getting married, a woman getting married for men, she should see that

00:34:48--> 00:34:53

it's not a requirement, meaning that if you didn't see the marriage is invalid.

00:34:54--> 00:34:56

Because I know you know families

00:34:59--> 00:35:00

accept them.

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

Mother's choice and that's it finished.

00:35:03--> 00:35:05

The mother chooses a wife,

00:35:06--> 00:35:08

Marian, they'll be fine happy

00:35:13--> 00:35:13

is an exception.

00:35:15--> 00:35:17

And that kind of arrangement

00:35:19--> 00:35:23

ultimately leads, if it becomes general it leads to

00:35:25--> 00:35:27

a breakdown of relationships, harm and relationships.

00:35:29--> 00:35:33

This is why we have the famous case by Bukhari, a woman who came to talk

00:35:35--> 00:35:35

and said to him,

00:35:39--> 00:35:43

I have no complaints about my husband, regarding his piety.

00:35:46--> 00:35:48

Nor is looking after me

00:35:49--> 00:35:51

provides economic fine,

00:35:52--> 00:35:55

but I just can't stand

00:35:56--> 00:36:02

when I see him coming in a group of men, I find him to be the most detestable

00:36:05--> 00:36:08

guy, she got married without seeing this man.

00:36:13--> 00:36:14

That's where she ended up.

00:36:15--> 00:36:16

And,

00:36:17--> 00:36:20

of course, one would say, well, tough luck.

00:36:21--> 00:36:24

What you attempted then you should live with it, but no Islamic

00:36:25--> 00:36:26

Islam is practical.

00:36:28--> 00:36:32

When that woman got the dissolution of a marriage of numbers

00:36:36--> 00:36:40

are you willing to give back the dowry which he gave give her a garden?

00:36:42--> 00:36:44

She said I would give back.

00:36:46--> 00:36:49

He said no one is it up what he gave you give back.

00:36:52--> 00:36:57

And then he instructed the man that their marriage should be resolved.

00:36:58--> 00:37:14

He didn't ask the man how much he loved her and all these other things and thinking Well, okay, His love will outweigh her dislike and maybe it can work I know, the woman is very close to him, that there was no way it was, she said she feared for her religion, it was destroying her faith.

00:37:16--> 00:37:16

So,

00:37:19--> 00:37:24

in order to avoid such circumstances developing then islamically

00:37:25--> 00:37:30

low hierarchy is number one and the second level

00:37:32--> 00:37:34

a physical attraction should also be there,

00:37:35--> 00:37:45

because people will be living together and if that isn't there, then the relationship at some point in the future is going to deteriorate.

00:37:50--> 00:37:50

So,

00:37:53--> 00:37:55

the primary consideration is that

00:37:57--> 00:38:06

and this is the explanation of the hobbies which I mentioned in the very beginning was Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him said that

00:38:07--> 00:38:09

marriage is half of the religion.

00:38:11--> 00:38:13

Marriage is half of the religion.

00:38:17--> 00:38:20

But what does it mean? Marriage is half of the religious

00:38:24--> 00:38:28

marriage between two God fearing people

00:38:29--> 00:38:31

become part of the religion

00:38:32--> 00:38:33

meaning that

00:38:35--> 00:38:49

each is supported by the other in fulfilling their Islamic obligations. When a person is on his own, or her own, they have to pray five times a day. You know,

00:38:50--> 00:38:54

give them a card all the requirements of Islam charity.

00:38:56--> 00:39:00

What is obligatory on them as well as what is recommended.

00:39:02--> 00:39:08

Though we give the compulsory charity This is only training for us to give voluntarily charity.

00:39:09--> 00:39:22

No, we thought the compulsory part the Ramadan. This is only training for us to find voluntarily, because fasting and charities are a way of life for men.

00:39:24--> 00:39:40

Each will encourage the other to fulfill not only their compulsory obligations, but the balancing obligation. Although recommended acts of worship, they will support each other.

00:39:43--> 00:39:46

If a person a woman is married to an empire, man,

00:39:48--> 00:39:48

and

00:39:50--> 00:39:52

the morning prayer comes in.

00:39:54--> 00:39:58

He will not wake her up to pray because he's not praying in tongues.

00:40:05--> 00:40:06

Whereas

00:40:07--> 00:40:12

a pious man is like a pious woman, when each will wake up to pray.

00:40:16--> 00:40:18

So that has helped in fulfilling that obligation.

00:40:20--> 00:40:23

That is a particularly difficult obligation, some of

00:40:25--> 00:40:25

the morning

00:40:28--> 00:40:34

about which the Prophet Muhammad negotiation doctrines of Harlan said, it is most difficult on

00:40:35--> 00:40:35

a hypocrite.

00:40:38--> 00:40:41

Something that in family marriage,

00:40:42--> 00:40:55

both the husband and wife should be particular about helping each other fulfill because it's one of the signs of the hypocrites, that they don't wake up for the morning prayer that is their norm

00:40:59--> 00:41:00

and so on

00:41:01--> 00:41:19

to the various obligations that by having two pious individuals each support and help the other. So it means that they are strengthen half of their religious obligations become much easier for them, because of the support of

00:41:20--> 00:41:22

the pious Muslim.

00:41:25--> 00:41:35

And the rest, which is outside of the family circumstance, both of them said here a lot in the remainder, when we leave our homes to go to work, and our job.

00:41:36--> 00:41:48

whatever circumstance we exist in outside of the home, then we have to feel a line that other part of the family is no longer there to help us. We have to remember a lot

00:41:49--> 00:41:50

to succeed and the other half.

00:41:52--> 00:42:02

For the woman, when the husband is gone, if she's at home looking after the home, then she's on her own now, she has the fear of loss in looking after the affairs of the home

00:42:04--> 00:42:05

dealing with our neighbors,

00:42:07--> 00:42:09

neighbors in a friend

00:42:10--> 00:42:13

who may oftentimes be involved in gossip,

00:42:14--> 00:42:20

rumors, rumor mongering, spreading tales about people backbiting all she has to fear alliances.

00:42:29--> 00:42:30

So,

00:42:32--> 00:42:33

the basis of the marriage

00:42:36--> 00:42:37

is

00:42:40--> 00:42:41

the guardians

00:42:42--> 00:42:46

should play a role particularly indicates a woman

00:42:52--> 00:42:52

and

00:42:55--> 00:42:56

the economic means

00:42:57--> 00:43:01

also plays a significant role

00:43:03--> 00:43:04

in that

00:43:06--> 00:43:10

marriage should only take place, if there is

00:43:11--> 00:43:19

economic support for that marriage, meaning either the husband has the means to look after a wife.

00:43:22--> 00:43:32

She is within a family structure which will provide that means, for example, a man with a desire to get married, but he's still studying in university is not working

00:43:34--> 00:43:36

till on the training or whatever, but he wants to get married

00:43:38--> 00:43:44

families, parents, relatives may support that marriage helped them to get

00:43:47--> 00:43:55

what that means is something which Islam considers as one of the pillars of marriage.

00:43:58--> 00:44:04

One of the pillars of marriage. And because of that, we have the principle of Maha

00:44:05--> 00:44:12

Maha is symbolic of that economic responsibility, the Maha or dowry

00:44:13--> 00:44:14

in demand

00:44:20--> 00:44:21

for something symbolic

00:44:23--> 00:44:28

to indicate his preparedness to look after that woman.

00:44:29--> 00:44:34

The Mahal should be decided upon before the marriage.

00:44:35--> 00:44:37

Part of the marriage ceremony

00:44:38--> 00:44:41

involves the statement of the heart.

00:44:44--> 00:44:54

This is to protect the interests of those involved after the marriage, somebody doesn't say well, you said you're gonna do this and as No, I said, and I promised them

00:44:57--> 00:44:59

at the time of the marriage

00:45:00--> 00:45:15

So my highest status and it should be what is chosen by the woman because it is not set by her parents. Because where it becomes something set by the parents, you know, it becomes named as they call it glide price.

00:45:18--> 00:45:22

You know where fathers may consider the doctors as like

00:45:24--> 00:45:26

a liability which they took care of.

00:45:29--> 00:45:35

So, he demands that the man pay some huge sum of money to him, which he

00:45:37--> 00:45:39

is not the Islamic way

00:45:40--> 00:45:41

forbidden

00:45:43--> 00:45:44

for the woman to decide.

00:45:46--> 00:45:50

And it can be as little as teaching

00:45:56--> 00:45:57

marriages who agreed on a man

00:46:00--> 00:46:04

the man was responsible to teach the Koran that he knew his wife

00:46:08--> 00:46:09

could be

00:46:11--> 00:46:12

the woman

00:46:14--> 00:46:15

the man wants to marry.

00:46:17--> 00:46:18

And he said,

00:46:20--> 00:46:21

this is beyond his economic name.

00:46:23--> 00:46:26

This is a subtle way of saying that he doesn't want

00:46:30--> 00:46:31

to tell him No, I don't want to know You

00:46:33--> 00:46:33

have

00:46:38--> 00:46:44

no right to set whatever figure she feels is appropriate.

00:46:46--> 00:46:48

In recent times,

00:46:49--> 00:46:58

the model has evolved into what they call an advanced model and the delayed miraculous never existed in the time of the Prophet

00:47:01--> 00:47:05

Muhammad is something simple, something basic.

00:47:06--> 00:47:09

But the delayed Mahal is a huge month.

00:47:12--> 00:47:16

It is the standard now in many countries Egypt and Latin delayed

00:47:19--> 00:47:32

and it becomes a way they look at it as being some kind of security from divorce, he divorces me then he has to pay this huge amount of money. You know, it's like the equivalent of alimony

00:47:34--> 00:47:41

become alimony paid monthly, you have this huge sum hundreds of 1000s that are created, if you divorce, a divorce.

00:47:44--> 00:47:46

This is not made in keeping with the planet.

00:47:49--> 00:47:54

It is acceptable that the Maha may be paid over a period of time.

00:47:55--> 00:47:59

But it should be something which is intended to be paid.

00:48:01--> 00:48:02

No

00:48:04--> 00:48:08

theoretical or actual to be able to pay this.

00:48:10--> 00:48:15

And the phenomenon has developed amongst Muslim communities in the subcontinent

00:48:16--> 00:48:19

of India and Pakistan. Where

00:48:20--> 00:48:22

the women pay Mahalo to the men

00:48:25--> 00:48:25

is

00:48:27--> 00:48:37

an extraction from Hindu culture, because of their attitudes in the Hindu culture, the women are considered to be According to Hindu teachings, nothing

00:48:39--> 00:48:40

is nothing.

00:48:41--> 00:48:48

Without a man, nothing is considered as nothing so much that if a husband dies according to his Hindu teachings

00:48:49--> 00:49:06

and adorn the body right after they die, they put the body up and they light him up on fire. Everybody turns around to the funeral original, watching the body of the man die then she is supposed to climb on top of this pyre and get back up along because he died finish.

00:49:14--> 00:49:15

So naturally,

00:49:16--> 00:49:20

the woman is considered a major liability for them.

00:49:23--> 00:49:26

To get married, she now must pay the man

00:49:27--> 00:49:29

huge sums of money to get married.

00:49:31--> 00:49:36

In India, a man his wife has three daughters, he is crying.

00:49:38--> 00:49:39

What am I going to do?

00:49:41--> 00:49:43

And unfortunately, this has

00:49:44--> 00:49:48

come over to the Muslims who have lived amongst them for

00:49:49--> 00:49:49

centuries.

00:49:51--> 00:49:54

Number in Riyadh a friend of mine.

00:49:57--> 00:49:59

In his early 30s all His hair was

00:50:00--> 00:50:00

Great,

00:50:01--> 00:50:02

unmarried, you know, I

00:50:06--> 00:50:22

have six sisters, my father is dead, I see about getting each one of them married, he had been working for like 15 years trying to save up to get into a marriage, maybe we'll dive in without any chance for him to get nice.

00:50:25--> 00:50:29

And the whole life was focused on raising enough money.

00:50:35--> 00:50:37

So this is harmful to society

00:50:40--> 00:50:41

needs destruction

00:50:43--> 00:50:47

and the harvest come, we can see, in India today,

00:50:49--> 00:50:58

we have what are known as dry burning women, because they're not able to provide the dollies are set on fire.

00:51:00--> 00:51:03

Every year, hundreds across the country are burnt alive.

00:51:06--> 00:51:13

And an expression of this is found in the abortion of female infants.

00:51:16--> 00:51:24

When a woman gets pregnant, she goes and gets out of town to determine the sex of a child, once you find that it's the bulk of what

00:51:28--> 00:51:34

is happening on such a large scale in India, that the proportion of women to men

00:51:35--> 00:51:37

has changed.

00:51:38--> 00:51:42

Now, in much of India, there are more

00:51:43--> 00:51:44

men than women

00:51:46--> 00:51:48

around the rest of the world, it's the opposite.

00:51:50--> 00:51:55

All of the major societies around the world there are more women than men.

00:51:56--> 00:51:57

This is

00:51:58--> 00:52:06

a result of biological, as well as sociological reasons.

00:52:07--> 00:52:11

Crime detector, all of this involved.

00:52:13--> 00:52:14

So males

00:52:15--> 00:52:16

die primarily.

00:52:18--> 00:52:22

Women live longer than men, biologically Allah has

00:52:24--> 00:52:28

that the biological clock of the woman, there's not one out before that.

00:52:29--> 00:52:39

So if you go around the world, and you look at those people who are over the age of 60, you'll find that the ratio of women to men is

00:52:40--> 00:52:40

phenomenal.

00:52:42--> 00:52:44

The higher you go, becomes even more and more phenomenal.

00:52:46--> 00:52:49

It is the destiny of Allah. But in India,

00:52:51--> 00:52:58

there are more men than women, how did that take place because of this infanticide, which is taking place today, but also happening in China

00:52:59--> 00:53:00

for other reasons.

00:53:02--> 00:53:04

The other reason being that in China,

00:53:06--> 00:53:09

couples are not allowed only to have one child.

00:53:11--> 00:53:22

They have one child they want to milk because the male can help, you know, he provides to the family. He can help in the field, you can enter bills,

00:53:25--> 00:53:30

anything is involved deal with girls are killed

00:53:31--> 00:53:32

in the minute.

00:53:33--> 00:53:36

So you find also in China that the ratio has changed,

00:53:39--> 00:53:40

is abnormal.

00:53:42--> 00:53:43

The fact of the matter

00:53:44--> 00:53:45

is that

00:53:47--> 00:53:55

dowry should be from the man to the woman, as I said, primarily as a symbol of his

00:53:56--> 00:54:23

preparedness, to look after the woman. And this is expressed in the Koran. So Anita was 35 there was a lot the men are the protectors and maintainers a woman because the lives given the former more than from their means. Therefore the rights of women are developed the obedience and God in the husband's absence what the law would have done.

00:54:26--> 00:54:27

That the relationship

00:54:28--> 00:54:37

in marriage is that the male is primarily the provider and maintainer of the family services, responsibility.

00:54:40--> 00:54:41

The

00:54:43--> 00:54:52

corresponding responsibility of the law described here is that a woman be devoutly obedient

00:54:54--> 00:54:58

and God in the husband's absence what Allah would have done

00:55:00--> 00:55:05

Man's responsibility to provide the home and the means to look after

00:55:06--> 00:55:09

a woman is to be obedient.

00:55:12--> 00:55:12

And

00:55:13--> 00:55:16

to guide the honor of the household.

00:55:20--> 00:55:22

Important point because

00:55:27--> 00:55:30

an expression among

00:55:31--> 00:55:35

Muslim female feminists

00:55:37--> 00:55:38

argue that

00:55:41--> 00:55:42

they

00:55:43--> 00:55:45

that they are responsible to wash the dishes.

00:55:50--> 00:55:53

You cannot find any instruction from the prophet

00:55:56--> 00:55:58

to cook the food and to wash dishes.

00:56:05--> 00:56:05

Particularly

00:56:11--> 00:56:21

when you also look in the early books of Islamic law, where the collection of the laws was given to place, you know, hundreds of years ago,

00:56:22--> 00:56:24

back in the 12th century,

00:56:25--> 00:56:26

10th century,

00:56:27--> 00:56:33

you'll find the scholars been saying that it's the responsibility of the husband

00:56:34--> 00:56:37

to provide a service to

00:56:41--> 00:56:42

the community. Looking back now

00:56:44--> 00:56:51

you are supposed to both to cook and to to clean and to wash dishes. You're supposed to provide it.

00:56:56--> 00:57:09

But of course, the reality of the matter is that that was a time when servants were easily available in a society. There are many people willing to work hard,

00:57:11--> 00:57:14

get to the place to live wherever they would live in a home

00:57:18--> 00:57:19

today

00:57:21--> 00:57:24

in most developed societies

00:57:26--> 00:57:27

cannot afford

00:57:30--> 00:57:33

the man and the woman after work to provide enough to look after the

00:57:36--> 00:57:36

children.

00:57:40--> 00:57:50

And the principle of washing the dishes. cooking the food lies here in the verse. The law says that the responsibility of women to be devoutly obedient

00:57:52--> 00:58:05

and it is a true and authentic hadith statement of karma. He said we're allowed to have humans now down to anyone other than Allah

00:58:06--> 00:58:10

who would have had to bow down to their husbands.

00:58:12--> 00:58:14

I know that sounds very chauvinistic.

00:58:17--> 00:58:20

Probably his interpretation is a merely talking to us about what

00:58:23--> 00:58:27

is authentic. And its meaning is clear, obvious.

00:58:29--> 00:58:36

Other than a law bound down to other than a lot of submitted. So there's no question of the matter that the woman is going to do this.

00:58:39--> 00:58:46

But in terms of worship, in relationship to a law, how is it manifest in Islam?

00:58:48--> 00:58:51

It is manifest in obedience.

00:58:52--> 00:58:57

A Dada, the term for worship comes from ABS which means a service

00:59:01--> 00:59:15

how it manifests. So this is what the metaphor the symbol, the symbolism of this statement is indicating that the woman should be obedient to the man. The man

00:59:17--> 00:59:28

in organizing His home is the one providing for the needs of the home and organizing the home. He instructs his wife that he will wash the dishes, he will iron the clothes

00:59:30--> 00:59:35

to cook the food. When she in devout obedience. We need to

00:59:38--> 00:59:41

hear the argument because the example

00:59:43--> 00:59:44

that he used

00:59:46--> 00:59:47

his own

00:59:51--> 00:59:57

so he is involved. I mean, he didn't leave everything to the woman to the idea of helping the woman

01:00:00--> 01:00:00

But

01:00:02--> 01:00:07

the record when you look at the record of the Prophet, peace be upon him and his wife,

01:00:08--> 01:00:11

they were cooking the food, taking care of the home.

01:00:13--> 01:00:15

That is the normal pattern.

01:00:16--> 01:00:18

And as I said, if a man

01:00:19--> 01:00:22

in his life to do so, then

01:00:23--> 01:00:25

he is obliged to do so.

01:00:26--> 01:00:29

Because in the marriage,

01:00:30--> 01:00:32

the right and the obligation,

01:00:38--> 01:00:39

Elon said,

01:00:45--> 01:00:51

You have life of a woman, that they're not allowed to let anyone you dislike into your home.

01:00:55--> 01:01:05

If they disobey you, today, you take them lightly. And the woman's life on you is that you should call her and feed her directly according to

01:01:11--> 01:01:12

the relationship

01:01:14--> 01:01:20

primarily, because outside of the love, the concern

01:01:21--> 01:01:21

the

01:01:24--> 01:01:34

other emotional things have to be there in marriage relationship is that the man has to provide

01:01:35--> 01:01:36

for the home.

01:01:38--> 01:01:42

And the woman has to maintain the cost of that home.

01:01:45--> 01:01:47

Being a husband doing

01:01:48--> 01:01:50

all that is allowed.

01:01:52--> 01:01:59

That is permissible. This is there's a line it's not an open line, the keynote today in anything he says.

01:02:01--> 01:02:05

Wherever he asks her to do this is permissible,

01:02:07--> 01:02:09

accepted electronically, then she should be.

01:02:11--> 01:02:12

It doesn't mean then

01:02:13--> 01:02:17

that the man becomes you know a dictator,

01:02:18--> 01:02:22

where he just commands to this to that

01:02:24--> 01:02:29

because the issues of love and compassion have to be there.

01:02:30--> 01:02:33

And that led me to function in a dictatorial circumstance.

01:02:35--> 01:02:45

He should take advice from the woman hear what she has to say, her opinion etc, especially in matters of concern or directly,

01:02:46--> 01:02:54

he should be willing to listen to them, take benefit from them. But the decision Finally, is in his hands.

01:02:56--> 01:02:59

After listening to the council decision

01:03:01--> 01:03:01

in his hand

01:03:05--> 01:03:08

it is not a situation of

01:03:09--> 01:03:10

equality.

01:03:14--> 01:03:20

Men and women are complimentary, but a lot related Zachary comes in

01:03:21--> 01:03:23

and the man may not like

01:03:27--> 01:03:30

a complimentary relationship, but nothing he

01:03:33--> 01:03:34

tries to promote now.

01:03:35--> 01:03:35

Quality

01:03:37--> 01:03:39

everything is an equal relationship.

01:03:40--> 01:03:42

And both partners disagree.

01:03:46--> 01:03:49

This is one of the big factors that leads to divorce in America

01:03:52--> 01:03:55

where neither one is prepared to compromise

01:04:00--> 01:04:03

and the final thing is not in demand and in the end,

01:04:04--> 01:04:04

then

01:04:06--> 01:04:08

ultimately, what

01:04:09--> 01:04:11

will be the result is given

01:04:15--> 01:04:16

the possibility

01:04:18--> 01:04:20

the final pay is in the hands of

01:04:25--> 01:04:26

the society

01:04:27--> 01:04:29

is an extension of the family.

01:04:34--> 01:04:37

Any people who make women

01:04:40--> 01:04:41

the head of their affairs

01:04:43--> 01:04:44

will not succeed.

01:04:49--> 01:04:52

But the family

01:04:53--> 01:04:54

is a small

01:04:56--> 01:04:58

version of the society.

01:05:00--> 01:05:02

Women are put as the head of

01:05:15--> 01:05:16

the society

01:05:18--> 01:05:22

is at danger. This is a statement of the Prophet Muhammad mega.

01:05:28--> 01:05:29

Historically speaking,

01:05:32--> 01:05:35

very few societies have been ruled by women.

01:05:39--> 01:05:44

And where these women ended up in the position of leadership,

01:05:45--> 01:05:51

they were behind them, men who are using them as a figurehead.

01:05:57--> 01:05:57

Because

01:05:58--> 01:06:01

ultimately, it is in the hands of the minimum.

01:06:02--> 01:06:05

This is the reality that we live in.

01:06:08--> 01:06:09

This is the destiny of Allah.

01:06:14--> 01:06:18

the feminist movement, look at it as being some form of oppression

01:06:20--> 01:06:23

that men have forced themselves upon women.

01:06:30--> 01:06:34

With a book published, men are from Mars and women are from Venus,

01:06:36--> 01:06:37

to different planets,

01:06:38--> 01:06:41

and Mars is the god of war, right?

01:06:42--> 01:06:47

Venus, the goddess of love, women are compassionate, loving, the men are warring.

01:06:49--> 01:06:50

Biting

01:06:55--> 01:06:56

upon the women

01:06:58--> 01:06:59

and denied them.

01:07:01--> 01:07:03

expression of them throughout history,

01:07:06--> 01:07:11

line of reasoning and, ultimately industrialism.

01:07:12--> 01:07:23

If you don't have taken this movement to the end, it will end up once you look at men in this classroom that they have, you know, the rights of women from the beginning of time

01:07:25--> 01:07:27

they become the enemy.

01:07:28--> 01:07:30

You can't stop them and

01:07:34--> 01:07:39

you can find what you're looking for with other women. This is what

01:07:42--> 01:07:45

now they have to bank artificial insemination. You

01:07:46--> 01:07:47

have a child

01:07:48--> 01:07:49

for your time today, women

01:07:51--> 01:07:52

living together

01:07:54--> 01:08:02

getting pregnant, raising families, now a new family farm in America to women in a family

01:08:09--> 01:08:10

from the Atlantic perspective,

01:08:12--> 01:08:14

it is in the hands of the male

01:08:15--> 01:08:21

final thing, but that authority should not be wielded dictatorial,

01:08:23--> 01:08:26

it should be with consultation as the law says

01:08:27--> 01:08:31

that their affair is done in consultation for

01:08:32--> 01:08:35

us to consult with his companions before making decisions etc.

01:08:38--> 01:08:50

Because rotating body is a part of the planet governmental system and as I said the government system is an extension of the family. So consultation should be their

01:08:52--> 01:08:59

responsibilities at home and to obey her husband in what is

01:09:02--> 01:09:03

now what I mentioned this heavy

01:09:07--> 01:09:10

metal and said that if they disobey you

01:09:12--> 01:09:12

you may spank them.

01:09:14--> 01:09:19

Okay. Now, we have another phenomena which

01:09:21--> 01:09:24

is a chance to deal with today and that is the battered women.

01:09:27--> 01:09:34

Women are beaten by the husband regularly beaten to the point you know the bones are broken.

01:09:37--> 01:09:38

And this happens and

01:09:44--> 01:09:47

now the club promotes

01:09:49--> 01:09:50

violence in the family

01:09:53--> 01:09:54

and the third human

01:09:58--> 01:09:59

condition

01:10:05--> 01:10:06

If a man hits a woman,

01:10:08--> 01:10:09

it should not be

01:10:12--> 01:10:15

a blow, which causes

01:10:18--> 01:10:22

the breaking of the skin, moving etc, should not be a deal.

01:10:30--> 01:10:32

It should not be in effect, no matter how life is

01:10:43--> 01:10:43

the

01:10:46--> 01:10:47

minor air,

01:10:49--> 01:10:54

a woman bringing the tea he dropped.

01:10:57--> 01:10:59

In public today, women love to see the husband.

01:11:08--> 01:11:15

If they disobey, you know that they do something wrong, they've made a mistake with every mistake, you're just there, you know, you have your ticket as

01:11:23--> 01:11:23

long

01:11:25--> 01:11:26

as they disobey,

01:11:32--> 01:11:32

that

01:11:35--> 01:11:38

the male should separate from the females

01:11:39--> 01:11:41

in their bedroom,

01:11:42--> 01:11:45

as a means of discipline, prior

01:11:46--> 01:11:49

to resorting to banking

01:11:53--> 01:11:54

is often

01:11:57--> 01:11:57

the woman

01:12:01--> 01:12:03

that you may

01:12:05--> 01:12:06

operate in the bed

01:12:08--> 01:12:09

as a means of trying to

01:12:10--> 01:12:19

order back in the family before a means of what to discipline in the home. And if this doesn't succeed,

01:12:22--> 01:12:23

then the man may

01:12:25--> 01:12:30

likely not knowing that he takes a picture with me that is, you know, hitting her like you hit a child

01:12:32--> 01:12:35

but that in instructing her

01:12:37--> 01:12:40

and she refuses that he

01:12:43--> 01:12:45

as a means of catching attention,

01:12:46--> 01:12:47

trying to bring

01:12:48--> 01:12:49

not

01:12:51--> 01:12:55

getting in the ring getting on the blog, going three rounds, five rounds.

01:12:57--> 01:12:59

It is not the idea here,

01:13:12--> 01:13:13

summing up

01:13:14--> 01:13:15

the atomic

01:13:17--> 01:13:22

charge and the course is a huge topic I am only addressing certain aspects of it.

01:13:24--> 01:13:27

We can say that the primary duty

01:13:28--> 01:13:32

of the human being is to worship Allah

01:13:37--> 01:13:40

supposed to help in fulfilling that.

01:13:42--> 01:13:43

The marriage

01:13:45--> 01:13:50

is one in which two people love each other, to worship Allah.

01:13:51--> 01:13:56

Allah has ordained it as a means also appropriating,

01:13:57--> 01:14:03

providing for the man and the woman tranquility, a place

01:14:04--> 01:14:11

a tranquil place within a society which is involved in change and difficulties, accessible tranquility, they're in

01:14:12--> 01:14:14

a place of love.

01:14:18--> 01:14:20

But primarily,

01:14:21--> 01:14:25

it is to help each other to worship Allah.

01:14:29--> 01:14:34

In order to fulfill that, then both people have to be

01:14:39--> 01:14:41

conditioned to choosing a husband and a wife.

01:14:43--> 01:14:48

By then the other things that come to support that unit that unit

01:14:51--> 01:14:54

economics, the attraction of

01:14:56--> 01:14:56

obedience

01:14:58--> 01:14:59

to the home is what needs

01:15:01--> 01:15:01

to function,

01:15:02--> 01:15:07

the possibility of providing, maintaining

01:15:09--> 01:15:10

general recommendation

01:15:12--> 01:15:13

require that the man

01:15:15--> 01:15:17

and a woman

01:15:18--> 01:15:21

help her husband because the husband salary is not sufficient

01:15:22--> 01:15:24

to look after the home,

01:15:25--> 01:15:26

then

01:15:27--> 01:15:30

the husband must also compromise

01:15:31--> 01:15:34

and help the woman in looking after the home, when

01:15:35--> 01:15:36

he cannot expect

01:15:39--> 01:15:42

as you would expect of a wife who stays home all day,

01:15:44--> 01:15:47

he comes back from the work tired and she comes back,

01:15:51--> 01:15:58

being the wife the things that she is best at to try. But he should also

01:15:59--> 01:16:02

give a hand be supportive.

01:16:06--> 01:16:19

What he's earning is helping to maintain the home. That is it his own thing. Like you get this I want to work by providing what the home needs, but she still wants to work

01:16:20--> 01:16:28

when it is secondary. And she cannot use that as an excuse to say, Well, now I come home, you wash the dishes today

01:16:31--> 01:16:41

have to go out and work for as long as she takes it as her own personal choice, when she still has to fulfill the responsibilities of the home.

01:16:42--> 01:16:47

He has agreed and allowed her to do so and he chooses to help in that way.

01:16:48--> 01:16:55

But it's not an obligation that he has to go out and work when he is obliged to help

01:16:56--> 01:16:57

in the home.

01:17:02--> 01:17:09

In order to allow some discussion or feedback from your concerning marriage, I think we'll start

01:17:13--> 01:17:19

realizing, as I said that the primary goal of marriage is

01:17:20--> 01:17:21

the worship of Allah

01:17:23--> 01:17:24

as the primary goal

01:17:27--> 01:17:27

right up on

01:17:28--> 01:17:30

it is half of the religion.

01:17:31--> 01:17:35

But the marital circumstance is a blessing from Allah

01:17:37--> 01:17:41

and should be one when there is tranquility,

01:17:42--> 01:17:44

love and mercy

01:17:46--> 01:17:47

that is missing

01:17:50--> 01:17:51

from a divorce.

01:17:54--> 01:18:00

Divorce is there because if it is the things are not provided, then that internal purpose of the night

01:18:01--> 01:18:05

Murphy that a law provided to that marriage is not being fulfilled.

01:18:07--> 01:18:09

Divorce is permitted

01:18:11--> 01:18:17

to take care of those circumstances where the internal components of marriage

01:18:20--> 01:18:21

you have any questions now.

01:18:38--> 01:18:41

Question does Islam allow a woman to propose to a man?

01:18:42--> 01:19:00

Yes. The classical example is that of the first wife of Prophet Muhammad mega Khadija, she proposed to the Prophet Muhammad and the oldest person the other women who proposed to him at different points in his life.

01:19:03--> 01:19:21

It is not something which Islam looked down upon today in society to consider for a woman to propose is considered very forward very whatever. But from an economic perspective, it is quite legitimate in a way a person

01:19:22--> 01:19:27

is somebody who he feels he did for her marriage, a few that

01:19:28--> 01:19:34

may not necessarily be directly she goes and speak to the person directly, but it may be

01:19:37--> 01:19:38

an intermediary,

01:19:39--> 01:19:42

somebody to tell his friend who will tell them

01:19:44--> 01:19:46

that it is possible legitimate

01:20:00--> 01:20:03

I've read the sort of I've not seen authentic evidence.

01:20:07--> 01:20:22

And you know, there are some people it was Nicholas will look like branches of trees, you know, if you open a door once you you know, go out to two things in terms of objects, etc, you know, okay, if you use a network, okay can use a flipper.

01:20:24--> 01:20:31

There wasn't anything clearly specified. But the point is that in hitting the homerun

01:20:32--> 01:20:40

it should not be boozing, causing blood to flow and, obviously have to be something which is very light.

01:21:12--> 01:21:12

Right now,

01:21:35--> 01:21:46

the issue of polygamy, and divorce in polygamy is no different from monogamy, and divorce and monogamy.

01:21:47--> 01:22:01

in presenting the topic of marriage, I didn't go into issues of polygamy, because of an Islamic perspective, it is an extension of the marriage system is not another system.

01:22:03--> 01:22:03

It is one,

01:22:05--> 01:22:18

if a man marries a woman, and that woman and marries another woman, and that woman, and marries another woman devoted to nine, one to nine and divorce in the mind and diverse in mind.

01:22:19--> 01:22:25

Obviously, that person's intentions, in terms of marriage.

01:22:26--> 01:22:34

And this will be ultimately between him and a lot of government. There's no punishment in the society, because marriage

01:22:35--> 01:22:36

and divorce,

01:22:38--> 01:22:39

but

01:22:40--> 01:22:48

he has taken the rights of others, he has abused the rights of others, and he will be accountable. And

01:22:50--> 01:22:52

those women who are abused by him

01:22:53--> 01:23:03

will have the right to fake from his good deeds on the day of judgment and put evil deeds on a scale of evil deeds.

01:23:05--> 01:23:25

Whether it is a man marrying one man, one woman, one woman denying another woman or two women and divorces the two and buys another two or three and I know there's another issue of where they might go and then he developed one MIT and he was one or two and it worked one on one and he worked on

01:23:27--> 01:23:29

the intention involved in the work

01:23:31--> 01:23:35

and knowledge is known for law

01:23:36--> 01:23:49

in a society where the person has shown himself to be abusing women, then the society should take names to protect themselves from that individual.

01:23:52--> 01:23:54

This is the bottom line

01:23:56--> 01:23:58

is we consider that

01:24:00--> 01:24:05

in these times, where people marry for a number of different reasons.

01:24:07--> 01:24:12

Then it is not surprising that after a period of marriage,

01:24:14--> 01:24:15

things don't work out

01:24:17--> 01:24:21

the primary principle or not,

01:24:25--> 01:24:29

then the chances of big down

01:24:32--> 01:24:44

society's values in terms of what is expected of a husband or is expected of a wife has become distorted then the chances for divorce is increased.

01:25:01--> 01:25:04

If a pregnant woman

01:25:05--> 01:25:08

is charged with when it shouldn't be adultery or to be fornication,

01:25:12--> 01:25:22

fornication, adultery, fornication, and she points out a particular man and the man denies the charge, then nothing can be brought against him.

01:25:26--> 01:25:31

In truth, in fact, it was him. This is something between himself and alarm.

01:25:33--> 01:25:34

Because

01:25:36--> 01:25:38

pointing the finger is not evidence,

01:25:39--> 01:25:44

he could point the finger, we don't know whether, you know, unless they

01:25:45--> 01:25:48

say that for the law to be applied, there has to be witness.

01:25:50--> 01:25:51

They have to give

01:25:53--> 01:25:58

evidence is not sufficient for witnesses, pointing the finger is not sufficient

01:26:03--> 01:26:06

between this individual and the law on the Day of Judgment,

01:26:07--> 01:26:08

in order to be punished

01:26:11--> 01:26:12

in this life, you know, in

01:26:13--> 01:26:16

the lives of life, or a personal life,

01:26:17--> 01:26:21

and if she takes it personally, no.

01:26:22--> 01:26:25

Forgiveness is done. Then there's no punishment.

01:26:44--> 01:26:49

The pregnant woman, Should she terminate the pregnancy? No.

01:26:51--> 01:26:58

She didn't terminate the pregnancy, the child should be born. And then the child according to sign the boy

01:26:59--> 01:27:03

there's no nothing on that child, male or female. Because the mother

01:27:05--> 01:27:06

the child out of wedlock,

01:27:49--> 01:27:58

in places where the government is not in effect, then you have the community where there is a community there with the

01:27:59--> 01:28:07

mom or dad of the must be the head of the community where he can stand as the guardian for, you know, employees of the state.

01:28:09--> 01:28:17

And he can assign either himself acting as a guardian or assign the guardianship to somebody else in the community.

01:28:35--> 01:28:36

question

01:28:37--> 01:28:43

concerning male virginity, you know, Islam doesn't have a

01:28:45--> 01:28:48

committee, you know, the virginity detecting committee

01:28:49--> 01:28:54

checks on women and sex on men periodically to ensure virginity in the society. No,

01:28:55--> 01:28:56

no.

01:28:58--> 01:29:01

There's nothing to do to to determine that.

01:29:05--> 01:29:08

It is between ultimately that individual and a law

01:29:09--> 01:29:14

that he presents himself as a virgin he wasn't he wasn't then between the top

01:29:15--> 01:29:16

and a woman.

01:29:18--> 01:29:21

If she is knowledgeable,

01:29:22--> 01:29:24

she can take her virginity.

01:29:31--> 01:29:54

Ultimately, it's not, you know, an issue that if people get married, you know, the man cannot run out and say she wasn't a virgin. Right? Or if he admits to him, that she wasn't afterwards, but had married him on the basis that she was a virgin, when that is ridiculous grounds for divorce

01:29:55--> 01:29:59

or annulment of the marriage. So this is considered to be deception.

01:30:01--> 01:30:19

Similarly, if the male has some disease, sickness, you know, physical impairment, whatever, and he did not inform the woman, women family about it before marriage and she finds out afterwards, this is grounds for annulment of that marriage.

01:30:20--> 01:30:31

Because it is a requirement that prior to marriage, all that kind of information has to be put on the table. So those people know who in fact, they're nine