Channel: Bilal Dannoun
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Bismillah Al Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam on a terminal at Milani ILM and Bertha hula who have maternal ILM in Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Nabina Muhammad, while early he was heavy he edge Mehreen All praise is due to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as to what follows respected Brothers and Sisters in Islam. A Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
You saved evening in sha Allah hooter, Allah. I'm going to be addressing a very dear topic to my heart, and a topic that is important to anybody that is married, and anybody that is going to get married, and inshallah that's all of us, because it is from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to get married. And especially if you were young, if you're a youth, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he addressed the youth and he said, Yeah, mashallah Shabaab are useful ones, many suffer I mean, Komaba that whoever has the means to get married, fell it as a which you should get married for in Abu Dhabi in Basel, or Samuel Forge. Woman Lamia started for Allah He was
sown for in the hula hoop, that whoever has the means to get married to get married because it helps
maintain or protect the private part. And it helps you lower your gaze. And if you don't have the means to get married, then you should fast because fasting is a form of protection from immorality, and doing things that are haram.
And so it is from the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam to get married as soon as we have the means. And as soon as we can.
Give the other person the rights that Allah subhanahu wata, Allah has mandated that we give to our spouse tonight in sha Allah, huzzah. Isla, I want to share some messages from the Quran that contribute to a very happy and a very healthy marriage. Because good marriages, they keep us happier, and they keep us healthier. And the quality of your marriage, to a very large extent, will determine the quality of your life. And so it's really important to find yourself happily married. What I've noticed, in speaking with many couples over the over the years, is that it really does impact it impacts on so many levels when you're not in a healthy marriage, or a functional marriage.
And so it impacts the mental health, you know, people can end up being depressed, very anxious, very uncertain. And so it impacts in the resilience to even feeling better. Because when you're in a good state, when you get in a good state of mind, then inshallah Huhtala, you feel good. And so it's easier to feel better. But if you're not feeling good mentally, it does impact on your physical health. And so not only is it important for our for our health, but it's also important for our wealth. Because Subhanallah there is a study that I came across. And in this study, it spoke about how something like 40 odd percent of lost productivity in the workplace is a result of employees
coming to work with problems from their home that haven't been resolved. And this lost productivity that these workers were not working at their best capacity, because they're very stressed out. They're thinking about what's taking place at home. They're thinking about what's going to happen when I return home. So so as we can see, marriage will even impact your wealth, and it will even impact your productivity. It will also impact your focus. Imagine you are on the road, and that you're driving and you've had a very serious fallout with your spouse. Do you think you're going to be one of the best drivers on the road? You're probably going to be thinking not very focused. You
might even end up having an accident. Maybe if especially if you have left your maybe home in a state of rage, or maybe you've left your home and you're very very down and you're crying and things like that. So it can impact
We can impact you maybe as a surgeon, maybe you're a doctor, maybe you're a pilot, and you're about to now fly and you've got so many problems. It's not healthy. It's not right. Maybe you're a judge? And how are you going to be the best version of yourself? Maybe you're a teacher. And you're about to go and teach some students? How are you going to be the best version as a teacher? So we really need to have the tools and the knowledge about what it takes to be in a very healthy in a very functional marriage in sha, Allah hooter island. It also impacts your what's your in your solder, can you imagine you say, Allahu Akbar, and you've had problems in your marriage? Are you really
focused on your Salah? Are you really focused on your words? Are you focused on what happened at home, and what's going to happen to your relationship, or what's going to happen to your children. So as we can see that marriage will impact and the quality of your marriage is going to impact many areas of life, it can even impact your stress levels. And today, there's a lot of study that shows that stress has an impact on one's health. And that a lot of the diseases of today, a lot of physical illnesses, that we that are prevalent, and to the extent of even maybe cancer could be a result of just, you know, lots of chronic stress, you know, just ongoing stress that has not been,
that has not been healed, where there's no healing that has taken place. It's just ongoing stress. You want to be in a very calm state in your life. And this is what's known as physiological calm, you want to become you don't want to be always in a stressful state. You want you don't want to always be in a fight or flight situation. You're always ready to fight or you're or you're ready to flight. You're ready to run away, you know, but you want to become you want to become you want to be in a state of serenity. And Allah azza wa jal says, we'll love would Ya Allah, Allah, Quran, Min booty come second, that Allah has made your home a place of Sakina of tranquility. And if you can't
find tranquility at home, where are you going to find it? So it's really important that we are invested in our relationships. Insha Allah hooter isla. So you want to find yourself in what's known as a para sympathetic state, you want to be in a calm state, as opposed to being in a sympathetic state, and that impacts your body. And so not only is being in a healthy marriage, good for all of the reasons that we stated previously. But also, it's to prevent trauma from taking place, traumatizing your spouse, or traumatizing your children. And then we end up with what's known as generational or ancestral trauma, whereby the trauma is being now passed on to children and the
children become familiar with this behavior from their parents. And then the cycle begins all because you did not know how to deal with your emotions, maybe in the marriage, how to deal with your spouse, understanding one another's differences. And so it's really important if we want to have a healthy future generation, that we understand how to deal with our spouse, how to deal with our own emotions as well. So Subhanallah tonight Insha Allah, I want to share seven messages from the Quran for a healthy marriage. Let's begin. Number one Taqwa Allah He has urgent. The first major contributor for a healthy marriage for a happy marriage is taqwa Allah, taqwa Allah. And that is
that we are always in a state of remembrance of Allah azza wa jal that we understand that Allah subhana wa Taala is the one that must be revealed. Because that will taqwa and the derivative of Taqwa is found in over 250 places throughout the Quran. And Allah subhanho wa Taala has instructed us to have Taqwa just as He instructed those who became before us. While Ocado was sign Alladhina O'Toole Kitab Amin cubberly como el Anita Kula, so Taqwa Allah, and the reverence of Allah and being always in a state of piety, and remembrance of Allah and fear of Allah and God consciousness because Taqwa is a very comprehensive term. Actually, one of the best definitions that I came across when it
comes to Taqwa is that is the definition by Ali or the Allahu Allahu Allah, whereby he said a taqwa and hopefully mineral jelly. Well, I'm a little bit Tenzin.
Don't worry though Bill Killeen? Well, estado de Leon mera hain. That Taqwa is that you act upon the hopeful Minella Jenine. And that is that you reveal Allah azza wa jal where when I'm a little bit Tenzin is that we act upon the revelation we act upon the Quran and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a walking Quran, meaning that whatever the Quran instructed the prophesized Selim did it. Whatever the Quran prohibited, he would keep away from it. So Taqwa Allah He Aza Jin is, is very, very important for our marriage, and Subhan Allah.
Going back to the definition of taqwa, my allele of the Allahu Anhu. He said, I'll have mineral jelly that you reveal Allah will I'm well, I'm a little bit Tenzin, that you act upon the Revelation where a riddle Bill Colleen being content with what you have, don't always look at what your neighbor has, or what your friend has or what your cousin has. You need to have content with whatever Allah azza wa jal has decreed for you to have. It may be that you might have something that somebody else has and that may be detrimental to you. That means it may not be in your favor. It may be not in your favor at all. It may end up doing damage to you or to your dunya or to your ephemera.
And so Taqwa Allah azza wa jal, as we said earlier, the Allahu Anhu defined it is to reveal Allah subhanaw taala is to act upon the revelation the Quran, and to be content with what literal you have, and it's to prepare yourself for the day of departure meaning death, get ready for death, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He also said in the Hadith at Pharaoh, mean Vickery had the moolah that always remember the destroyer of pleasures and Mote death. So something very interesting that we find in the Quran and that is in surah to Tala a Talak means divorce. There is a chapter in the Quran that talks about some of the rules that are related to divorce.
And in this very surah in a number of places, Allah subhanho wa taala. He mentions this notion or this concept of Taqwa.
It is as if Allah azza wa jal is reminding us about one of the major contributors to
avoid going into divorce and protecting ourselves and to fortify ourselves from becoming divorced. And so, in one verse, For example, Allah azza wa jal says, Woman yet tequila yadgir Allahu Maharaja, that whoever has taqwa, ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala will make for him a way out. So if you are going through a difficult time in your life,
check yourself ask yourself, how is my relationship with Allah? Because if your relationship with Allah has not been good, has not been healthy if you've been disconnected. What do you think can happen to your connections on Earth? They may well end up being disconnected as well. Another verse in Surah Tala Allah azza wa jal says woman yet duckula yadgir Allah Who mean Amity he you saw that whoever feeds Allah or has Taqwa Taqwa Allah, He will make for him of his MATA is so Allah will bring about ease. When you have Taqwa Allah. So when now you are in a difficult situation, but you always make Allah your priority. He's going to help you to get out of that situation with ease and
not through difficulty. So that's very important. It's very important to be connected to Allah azza wa jal, and the most important thing is the Salah, the most important contributor to Dakhla and to a healthy marriage is our salah. And interestingly, in Surah, Al Baqarah
Allah subhanho wa Taala also mentions some verses about the rules related to divorce, bollock. And immediately after we say, Allah azza wa jal says half evil, Allah salah, well, it was salam till Wooster, Waku mali lahaie carnitine. So here Allah subhanaw taala says, maintain with care, the Salah, and in particular, the middle prayer, what is the middle prayer? When we look at our five daily prayers, we see that there is Fajr there is the her there is acid.
And then there is Muslim in Asia. And the middle prayer is the asset of pray. And there is emphasis on
also to pray, because that is one of the two hardest prayers of the day and then and the night, because it's an awesome time. Everybody is winding down from their work and they're very tired. They want to just get a pack up, they just want to go home. It's probably the coldest part also of the day. And so they're preparing themselves to go home and many people are lazy or find it very difficult to commit to answer prayer. In one Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, Man, Salah al bardini, the halal Jana, that whoever prays the two prayers that are cold, the cold press al Bourdain, the halal agenda. That means if you adhere, and you're consistent in praying
these two, two prayers, then you will intergender because if you're praying these two prayers, that means the other prayers are also going to be sound. Because these are the these are the two hard prayers and they are the fajr prayer. And they are sort of pray. And they're the two coldest parts of the day in the night, the budget being the coldest part of the night. And the answer being the coldest part of the day.
What's interesting about this prayer, maintaining your prayers, and in particular the middle pray that it comes after divorce yet, so Subhanallah again, a clue from Allah azza wa jal that if you're disconnected with Allah azza wa jal, you might find yourself disconnected from your spouse. And it's so important and I cannot emphasize enough from my experience in talking with many, many couples, that Salah seems to be one of those things that is missing in a lot of people who end up in very toxic and dysfunctional marriages, and even divorce. There is a beautiful saying that should be written with gold. And this is a very beautiful and inspirational quote,
the pious people of the past, they would say, repair your relationship, or repair your connection with Allah, and he will repair your relationship or your connection with the creation. When you repair your relationship with the Creator.
You help and you aid and you support in repairing the connection with the people that are around you. That's why it's so important to have that connection with Allah subhanahu wata and can you imagine Allah subhanho wa Taala becoming your ally, he becomes your ally. What does it mean your ally? It means your helper, your supporter, Allah azza wa jal says in Surah Al Arraf. He says we're who were Yetta wala a Salah him, well, who will you tell weldless Salah hain. There means that Allah azza wa jal when he is the ally of the righteous, He is the lie of the righteous. That means if you want Allah to be your ally, you need to become from amongst the righteous, you need to become from
amongst those who are doing what Allah azza wa jal has commanded, who are doing what Allah has a keeping away from what Allah azza wa jal has prohibited. And so Allah azza wa jal needs to occupy the core of our heart. Allah subhanahu wa taala. The love for Allah belongs in our heart, and also everything that we love is also in our heart. And so our heart has many, many layers. We love wealth, we love status. We love the opposite gender, we love so many different things, maybe hobbies, interests. And so we also love Allah azza wa Qian, and they are all in here in the heart. But what's important is that in the core of our heart, there should be the love for none other than
Allah azza wa jal, he is our priority. We love him, and we put him first and he is in the core of our heart. And a word of warning. If you place anything that your heart loves, in the core position, other than Allah subhanahu wa taala. Two things can happen here, either.
Whatever you place in the core of your heart, you're replacing Allah azza wa jal with that thing that you love. That thing may end up becoming your greatest source of pain on this earth.
Or number two, you can start causing injustice to everything else that You're heartless or because you did not make Allah subhanho wa Taala your priority. So Taqwa Allah, He says our Gen is very, very important. And we all are pursuing a good
reallife and Allah azza wa jal says mcnabola Saudi Han mean they're carrying our own fare. Well Who am I mean on fella no here no who hired on pay Eva, that whoever does good deeds male or female, and they are believers, we will grant them a goodly life. That's the promise of Allah azza wa jal. So what's the condition manera Milla sila Han, whoever does good deeds male or female, and they are believers doing good deeds, meaning your Salah, and your Zakah and your fasting and your Hajj and all of those things that Allah azza wa jal has obligated, very, very important to remember this, Allah will bless you with a good life. Now,
we move on to another message from the Quran.
And this message is on how to ensure that we find ourselves in a healthy marriage. And that is understanding that the hearts are controlled by ALLAH SubhanA with the island. And so make sure as we said in the earlier point, that you make Allah your priority, and Subhanallah there's a very beautiful verse in the Quran. Allah azza wa jal says in the Lavina Ehrman, what I mean asylee hottie saya adalah, whom Rama no would, that indeed those who have believed and then good deeds righteous deeds are Rahman, the most merciful, will appoint for them affection. So therefore, the hearts of the people around you, your spouse, your friends, your community, those hearts are controlled by
Allah azza wa jal, and he can instill love in their hearts towards you, or he can turn their hearts away from you. So it's really really important to understand the relationship and the connection between you and Allah and the hearts of people towards you or away from you. Allah subhanahu wa ala when he spoke about the Sahaba, the Companions, the Companions, they had immense love for one another. They had lots of love for each other. And Allah makes mention of this special love in the Quran, whereby he says in Surah Al and fail, we're Aletheia Boehner Co Op him and he brought their hearts together. Then he says to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, lo and Dr. Murphy of the
Jamia an MA a leftover in a Kenobi him if you were to spend all that is on the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together. When a kin hola hola Verbania home, but it is Allah who brought them together. So therefore the hearts are controlled by Allah azza wa jal once again, and so if we want to be very close to those people, we want to be close to ask yourself how close are you to Allah subhanahu wata Island.
Number three another message from the Quran about how to have a very healthy in a very happy marriage and that is through my word death and Rama through moda and Rama, deep love and mercy. Allah subhanho wa Taala in sort of a room, chapter 30 Verse 21, Allah azza wa jal says women Aya T and Haleakala calm, men and fusi calm as well John with Toscano Alaihe wa Anabaena Kumar, with the 10 Watt Rama and of his science is that he created for you from yourselves, mates, that you may find tranquility in them. And he meaning ALLAH placed between you, between you and your wife, you and your husband, affection mawatha Warhammer, affection, or love and mercy. And so Subhanallah when it
comes to love, we know in the English language, love is a verb, meaning if there needs to be love, it needs to be some actions, you need to do something about it. And there are many examples from the life of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam that show us how he nurtured love, and how he was with the Mothers of the Believers. So for example, one day I Isha his wife came to him and she said, You're a soul Allah, how is your love towards me? You see every wife, once reassuring words of love. She wants to hear those words. She wants acknowledgement. She wants to know that she is loved by you. And so, it comes to the Prophet sallallahu
He was sitting. And she asked him about the love that he has towards her. And he says to her hug, be lucky character till hobble, that my love my love towards you is like the knot of a rope. Meaning it's very firm, that it's very strong.
And it is said that I wish I would come back to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and ask, how is the not going, meaning is still there is still strong. And he would say to her, come, he, it's still as it is. It's still very strong. And so Subhanallah it doesn't reduce your manhood, to say to your wife, I love you, I cherish you, or words to that effect. Subhanallah This is from Islam, even if it's a stranger, and you love them for the sake of Allah. You would say, hit book, I feel like I love you for the sake of Allah. And the other person would say, had the color the abdomen actually made the one you love me for his sake, love you. And subhanAllah we have so many
different scenarios that show how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he cultivated love, okay with his spouse's with his wives. And we see for example, one day, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was on an expedition in the desert. And he says to the Sahaba and he says to the Companions, move on. And he turns to Aisha Radi Allahu Allah, what Allah and he says to her, Do you want to foot race or race to your Isha? Now remembering the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he's over 50 years old. And I Isha was young. And so who won the race? He should have the Allahu Allah. But Allah has she won the race. She beat the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the race, many years pass.
And Isha puts on some weight. So she becomes a little bit heavier. And he turns to her one day, and he says to her, Do you want to raise her Isha, she says, Oh ratio, rasool Allah, and they have a race, and who wins this time, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he says to her, one for one, he's not trying to be very competitive, or, you know,
cause any issues with her, but he's fostering the love that should be fostered between a husband and a wife. One day the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he saw that Aisha was drinking from a drinking vessel from a cup. And he says to her, Where were your lips since and she points to where her lips were on the cup, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he drinks from exactly the same spot to show the love that he had towards her. If she was eating from a bone, he would submit he would eat from the same place that she ate from, he's showing the love that he had towards his wife, and many other scenarios that show how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam displayed love
towards his wife. Before he used to go to the masjid. He would kiss his wife, and Subhanallah we see this all in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And so when it comes to love, it's important to be communicating, it's important to find out what is it that your spouse loves? What is it that makes him feel cherished? What is it that makes him feel needed? What is it that makes him feel very happy? It's important that there is that healthy communication, and especially from the beginning of the marriage, especially from the get go of marriage, where you're learning about each other's expectations, you're learning about each other's needs, you're even learning
about each other's boundaries, you know, what is it that will really tick you off? What is it that will make you sad? What is that that will that will make you mad? So there is that communication from the very getgo of the relationship insha Allah to Allah. So we're talking about Melinda and cultivating love between the husband and the wife, and that is a contributor towards a happy and a long lasting marriage. We're also talking about Ragna mercy, it's important to show mercy to the people around you. And those who are most deserving of Your mercy are your family members, family first, family first. And so
Allah subhanho wa taala. He says about Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when there are so NACA in LA rahmatan Delilah me, and we did not send you a commission you except as a mercy to all of mankind. All of the teachings of Islam are teachings of mercy. They are teachings of mercy. And so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, A Rohan
Man Oh, you're humble. Man, you're humble man fell out of the hammock comfy Summit. He said, A Rahama those who show Rachna those who show mercy, okay, the Most Merciful will show them mercy, have mercy on those or towards those on earth, and the one above the heavens will show you mercy. So it's really important if we want to have a healthy marriage, that we remember these two contributors from this very noble verse from Surah Tarun, which Allah in a coma with the Tanwar, Rama, number four, from amongst the messages from the Quran, that will cultivate and that will lead to a very healthy and a very happy, and in sha Allah, which is a very long lasting marriage. And that is one
verse that is really and truly a powerful verse that really encapsulates exactly through a very beautiful analogy, what the relationship between the husband and wife looks like. And it pretty much this one verse, or part of the verse summarizes
what an ideal marriage looks like. In Surah Al Baqarah, chapter two, verse 187, Allah azza wa jal says, whoa, Nelly Besson, Lacan were Anton Lieberson, la han Hoonah. mean they are your wives, they your wives, your wife,
they are a garment li Bess, Li bass means clothing, they are a garment for you. And you the husband are a garment or clothing for them. Subhanallah let's think about this for a moment. What does that mean? Think about your clothes. Let's happen. Let's analyze this. The scholars, they came up with over 1010 lessons from these remarkable words by Allah azza wa jal about the success and the stability of this marriage that we that we extract from these few words, let's go through them. Number one,
that Subhanallah our clothing, they cover us, don't they? And so between the husband and the wife, we should be covering each other's faults, we should be covering each other's blemishes, insecurities, and we don't reveal them. You know, sometimes you have something on your body could be a rash, it could be a cut, it could be a disease, and you wear something to cover it, because you don't want other people to see it, you might get embarrassed and that is how the relationship between a husband and wife should also be when it comes to the when it comes to that not embarrassing them not putting not showcasing their faults or reporting them to you know, their
parents or their relatives or their friends. This is not this is not correct at all. Number two, you know, when it comes to our clothes, we take pride in our clothes, don't we? We take pride, you know, we look after our clothes, we iron them, we wash them, we perfume them, okay? Likewise, when it comes to your money, your spouse, you take pride, you take pride in your spouse, okay? Number three, what do you children, what do your clothing do for you, your clothing that give you warmth, you know, especially during cold times, you know, your clothing, you feel that sense of warmth.
Likewise, number four, you make sure that, you know, you are not harsh in the way that you know, you're not harsh towards your spouse, in the same way that you avoid harsh clothing and some clothing. It's very harsh. And so you don't put it on your skin because it's very annoying. So you don't become annoying, you know, towards your spouse, you don't agitate, you know, your spouse, just in the same way you don't like to wear clothing that may be agitating your skin. So, you know Subhanallah something to remember, likewise, your you know, our speech and our behavior should be fine, should be soft, should be easy, just like a clothing. We like to wear clothing that is soft,
that's comfortable. And that Subhanallah we can get that from our clothing. Number five, you know, when it comes to
our clothing, it's of different sizes, you know, there are different sizes. And so your dealings with your spouse should reflect each other size should reflect each other's preferences. Right? So if your spouse for example, you know wears large
If you can't offer them small, just because your preference is small, it doesn't work for them. Okay? You give them what is fitting for their type. You can't force your size on them. That's something to remember. It simply won't fit and it will produce a negative outcome. So, remember this insha Allah Huhtala number six, what can we learn about our clothes, they stick to us, they cling to us, right? They're the closest thing to our body. There's nothing closer to you right now than the clothes that are on your back. And so the relationship between the husband and wife is always close. And it's intimate, so much so that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he passed away, he
passed away with his head on the chest of Aisha, Radi Allahu Allah. He was in her lap. When he passed away. He was always close to his wives. And so the hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen when it comes to our clothing, also your clothing bring you comfort, okay? Just like Allah subhanaw taala uses the word the best in another area, which is the Layla be Bursa. When Allah spoke about the night, they'll sweat in the Quran, he said that the night is the best that it is a covering that it covers the daytime. And the best mean what we know about the nighttime is that it brings you comfort, it brings you comfort. So it's very important that we bring comfort to our spouse. Likewise your got
your garments, what do they do, this is the eighth lesson, your garments, they beautify you, they make you look beautiful, right? So we you ensure that your spouse looks good in front of others. Again, you know, you don't bad mouth, you know, you don't speak ill of them. They make you your clothing them benign, they make you feel secure, and they protect you from certain conditions, you know, certain clothing, they protect you from certain weather conditions. And likewise, we protect our spouse from any harm. And number 10 You know that you always ensure that your clothes, your garments, they smell nice. So likewise, you ensure that you beautify yourself for your spouse. Okay,
and it works both ways. You know, as Allah has so agenda, he says, while the Hoonah myth do let the ILA Hiner Bill maruf that women when a Hoonah Mr. Levy Allah hinder that they have the same rights, just as they have, just have, you know, as they have, we have rights over them, they have rights over us. Very important. One of the one of the companions Ibn at best for the Allahu Anhu Allah, he would put eyeliner, he would beautify himself for his wife. And then he was asked, Why do you beautify yourself for your wife, and then he recited this verse, while Hoonah Mr. Levy, Allah Hina Bill Maher prove that they possess rights similar to those that are held over them Bill Maher roof
in accordance with the customs and the traditions of a people. We'll move on to number five from amongst the messages from the Quran in sha Allah Who to Isla to help us have healthy marriages. And that is to understand and to respect that males and females are different. Yes, very important message from the Quran. Allah azza wa jal says in Surah, le Emraan, Chapter three from the Quran, verse 36. He says, Well, he said that Haruka on three words. Well, they said the caracal unfair and the male is not like the female, and SubhanAllah. The more we can understand this verse, the less problems we can have in our marriage. You see, Allah subhanaw taala created us differently. You
know, we're physiologically different, biologically different. Neurologically different. We're different in our preferences in our perceptions, in in so many ways, we are different. And we need to work with each other's differences. And so these differences, they exist so that we can complete each other and not be competing against one another. Very important to remember this, while I said Dakka Dakka. unfair, because it's not it's a difference of roles, we have different roles. Okay? And so, we need to remember that, we need to always remember our differences. We need to remember the way that we do things as males is not. It doesn't mean that the female needs to do it that way and
vice versa. So we need to really be in tune with each other's preferences and how
how we differ with our hormones how we differ, you know, in so many ways Subhanallah and this is a topic in and of itself, so much so that there are books now that have been written about gender differences, you know, many years, you know, hundreds of years later after this verse, which now really go into the detail of what it means for a male and a female to be different and their preferences and why they do or why a female does what she does, and a male does what he does. Subhanallah and how if we don't work with this, and we don't have an understanding, this can lead to only Subhanallah, much toxicity and, and lead to a dysfunctional marriage. Number six from amongst
the messenger messages from the Quran, is to be always sincere. Always be sincere in trying to resolve your disputes. Whenever you try and resolve a dispute with your spouse, husband or wife. Make sure it's coming from a place of effortless from a place of sincerity in sort of anisette the fourth chapter of the Quran verse 35. Allah azza wa jal says, AUD the slur hon, you will feel Kyla who by in a Houma that if they both desire reconciliation. That means if you're sincere, and you really want to reconcile and you're putting in your absolute any best Allah will cause it between them means Allah make it happen. But both of you the husband and the wife need to be sincere, and
maybe giving it your best shot elsewhere in the Quran. In surah facilite the 41st chapter of the Quran verse 34, Allah azza wa jal says it the fallibility here ACEN for either lovey bein Kawabe inna who either were tone, and who will even have him, he says repel, repel the evil or the bad deep with a better one, repel the bad with better. And when you do that Allah azza wa jal says and there upon the one whom between you and him this enmity, you will become as devoted friends.
Listen to this powerful verse. It fabulosity here, accent, that means, again, repel, there's something bad. And you've had a fallout with your wife or your husband. So instead of, you know, pouring, instead of pouring fuel over the fire, okay, what do you do? You take up the extinguisher, you don't you're getting the fuel, and the petrol, or the gas or whatever it is, and you get adding to it? No, you want to repel the bad with better, you know, because what happens Subhanallah the fire, how does it start off, it starts off as a spark, it starts off as a very tiny flame. And you got to make sure that you turn it out before it gets out of hand. Because once it gets out of hand,
it's very hard to contain, and it can be very, very destructive. Right? So what we need to do it Fabbi, Letty here has sent us the best strategies that you possibly can maybe phone a chef, phone, a counselor, phone, someone talk to someone to help you overcome the situation that's using acid. And if you do that with sincerity, and you give it your absolute best, and you you go out of your way,
you will find yourself becoming very, very close friends, even with an enemy according to this verse, You know what the scholars said about this verse? They said that if you're not reconnecting with someone, it's most likely because you're not applying us and you're not giving it your best shot. You're not really, you know, getting in there, and you really are trying your absolute level best to make it happen. So again, be sincere in trying to resolve your disputes, put your pride aside, put your egos aside, okay, you know, think long term, think about the children. Think about the partner, you're about to lose because of a moment's rage, a moment's anger. That's what it is.
It's a moment. Subhanallah and that's why in Islam, if you divorce, your spouse, you divorce your wife, and you are in a state of rage, utter rage and anger, then that divorce is not counted.
Because it paralyzes your brain. It makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do. We'll go on to number seven
And this is another message from the Quran to help you and your marriage and your family. And that is, if you must abandon your spouse, meaning you want timeout from your spouse, if you must abandon them, you need timeout, then this should only be in the bedroom in the bed itself, you know, not having intimate relations and not outside of the bedroom.
Meaning don't go sleep in another room or in the garage or in the car, or at your parents house. What's the evidence for this? Allah azza wa jal in Surah, An Nisa
in the 31st. It's chapter four, verse 34. He says, We're Leti Taha, funa, no shoes of Hoonah 501. What had you ruhuna feel my Bhaja but those meaning the wives, from whom you feel arrogance, first advise them this is there's a sequence of, of how to fix the problem, how the repair takes place. The first thing is advise them, give them a hug, give them advice, then if they persist, then forsake them in the bed.
What do ruhuna fie Alma? Bhaja, your Majah is your bed. So you forsake them in the bed, not outside of the bedroom? Why shouldn't the problems leave the bedroom, because who's going to see the problems when they leave the bedroom? The kids, the children, the children will see them. And if they if they leave the bedroom, that not only that the children sometimes may people are leaving the house. And then other people are finding out and then the shaitan is playing that you know they're part then there's the whisperings, then there's all these people who are giving advice that may not be the right advice. Okay, they might start to become partial, you know, because that's their best
friend, I want to tell them what they think they should do.
So in this case, if there is a marital problem, then you should seek the counsel of people who have knowledge and experience. Okay, knowledge and experience. And if you cannot find anyone with knowledge and experience, then you get a senior member from your family and a senior member from your family from each family. You get what's known as arbitrators, to people to senior uncles, grandfathers, they will come and sit down and they will discuss the issue peacefully, with love with justice, because that's what we're always trying to uphold justice.
So this is something to also remember insha Allah Who to Isla, when it comes to the marital problems and staying within the family home and not to be leaving your bedroom to another room to another place and to be trying to resolve it internally. Finally, in sha Allah hooter, Isla, I encourage you to always make dua for your marriage. Whenever you do, make do ask ALLAH SubhanA hooter Allah to bless your marriage. Because it's such an important union. It's such an important relationship.
And Allah has praised those who make dua for the marriage will Latina coluna or banner headliner mean as well Gina was already yeah Tina Kurata ion which are unideal mustafina Imam those who say Oh, I've been an L Lord owl rub hub Lennar bestow upon us mean as where Gina, from our spouse, whether the Tina from our offspring, our generation to come, that which will be the pura pura to iron be the apple of our eyes. To that when you look at your spouse, you save Hamdulillah you you feel grateful, you feel very fortunate that Allah has blessed you with a good spouse. And so, one of the best to, to also be saying every morning, and every evening to protect your marriage is found in
the morning and evening supplications of hustlin Muslim and that is the dua Allahumma inni as a local alpha will Alfia for dunya will ask her Allahumma inni as alkyl alpha will Afia fidi Neewer dunya were ugly women many Allahumma stood out at one time in Rome it Allahumma funnymen benei are they Yeah, I mean hifi Well, I'm Yamini Mancinelli ominto
It will also be our Motyka and Attallah mentality. This is a comprehensive DUA and in these two, you're pretty much asking Allah to bless you and to bless your family and to bless you from from all around you to protect you. And it's found in fortress of the Muslim. Remember Allah subhanahu wata, Isla, and he will remember you. And if you forget about Allah azza wa jal, then he will leave you. And subhanAllah when you're left alone, without the support of Allah azza wa jal, you become a toy, and your marriage becomes a toy for the shaitan and the shape on he loves to see relationships, he loves to see relationships fail. Why, because when a relationship fails, the children will fail, and
the work will fail, the community will be weak and so on and so forth. It has a ripple effect. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to bless our marriages, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to bless our family to bless our children, that may Allah subhanaw taala always make our family members the delight and the apple of our eyes. May Allah subhanaw taala inspire us to do what is asking us to do what is best for our family and for our future generation. Allahumma Amin Europen Alameen wa sallahu wa salam Wadada ala Nabina Muhammad Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
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