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Bilal Assad

Channel: Bilal Assad

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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The biggest

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test for me right now, I think the whole

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lot of people have heard about it is the death of my son and my brother.

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And

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this has done something to me that I've never felt in my life. Never ever been through this challenge.

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And what I mean by challenge the feelings and the thought process and the amount of

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reflection on life like now

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really,

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really makes you understand the word in adalah. In Russia,

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suddenly, nothing around you is

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worth stressing too much about or

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spending too much time with everything around you. Now you look at a way of how to turn it into something beneficial for your, for others for yourself and for the hereafter.

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And money didn't mean much after that. My brother my brother was

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the first time I talk now the Hamza

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like indulgent bit of detail, he

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had a business growing for him and

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I think he was going to become millionaire in a couple of years. So successful and only only because of his character people loved him, he's really young and beautiful to get along with is a very honest person.

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And my son, you know.

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So he died in front of me

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while I was giving him CPR

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and he was very peaceful.

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I think the last one a doll is worth thanks, has more of a meaning right now. Thank you, oh Allah for the past that you gave me. Thank you. I love the past that you prevented from me the bad things. Thank you Allah for giving my son and my brother teaching me love. And now connected me to something else Thank you Allah for the future that you will give me in the things that you aren't going to keep you're going to keep away from in the future because I know that you know, that will haunt me. Thank you, Allah. You've taken given me my son and taken him for a reason, the purpose that you only know within your wisdom and I rely on you.

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It has increased my Eman, of course, the people around us.

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of herbal Hamza, two moments in my life. I think I dream about them all the time. Now, and I don't think there's anything that's more important than

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the moment my son's soul escaped my brothers. And the moment I buried them.

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Like this. Had no respect for me. Who cares if you're his father, who are you? This is not your business.

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This is not your biz. how I felt?

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Didn't you see I'm here because that

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doesn't belong to you. It

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belongs to online.

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And if you do trust in Allah, now's the time for you to prove it to yourself.

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You're going to think about a lot right now.

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Allah is our handwriting.

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Maybe, maybe this was the best time for them to leave. Maybe I stayed for reason.

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And the moment that they were buried, I was in the grave. And I felt like bashing my head on the walls.

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I wanted to die without looked at my son. I said,

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my hands

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How can you put your son in the ground?

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How dare you? You're the father. You're supposed to be protecting him.

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You're supposed to be you know, you promised him things

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from as my son Dad, I'm not always going to be there for you. So I'm going to teach you stand on your own two feet.

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Within I remember those little boys a licen.

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As he was sitting, standing in grave with his son

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and I said the DA

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and I note that Ma

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is to

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what we call the Bucha. Now he said Allah love your Arctica Ibrahim. So you're departing.

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When an Akula my

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nanny say what pleases

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You know what's funny, was What's ironic is that

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I said the exact words of the prophets of ISIL and even the name his son's name was surprised.

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And I could imagine

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feeling what I'm feeling right now. Crying the way I'm crying

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got stronger a little bit

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so do

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you notice again with Russell advice

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I have to walk away

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you have to walk away

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then my brother on Sunset it just lied there. I didn't know that we're gonna die but

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before we left here just want to finish it with this something really good

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and that is that before we left we went FISA Videla went to please Allah subhanaw taala and what did you want to pleasingly let our parents we wanted to make them happy.

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My mother was missing us in Lebanon, my dad

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and my brother and I we talked to them for the last time before we left and he got teary My brother was very very mad at the softness of it

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I looked at my brother and son I said sure you want to go in this ugly time? Because this civil unrest there

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my son had a big smile on his face.

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He said for sure Don Tater.

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Do anything can't wait to see them make them happy

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we shook hands and we said okay. Let's make our intention right now. We're going to please Allah spawn time.

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Because if we die there

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shall we die? Shall and shall we die on path and if we return returning shall lie on the huge amount of mountains of rewards.

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I thought we're gonna die in the Civil War and civil unrest.

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Subhan Allah, my son and I, we went to UK. That was my last lecture to overseas with my son. And ironically, the UK people knew my son and my brother didn't know anyone else in my family. Why? Because a year before they paid for my brother to go with me, Hamid, he went with me on that tool.

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With two men could called me up that time. I said, I want to take my brother with me. They said alright.

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And then my son, they knew him when he was a child. And when he grew up,

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and they, they had a love for them.

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All of these allies setting up things.

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And when we got this panel, they died in a place that I never, ever thought would just stop there on some snowmobile

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and have had fun. My son wants to see Lebanon, he wants to see the snow

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gets up on this thing.

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It's meant to be safe.

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He goes around once and he's alright.

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I come walking towards them or somewhere else. And our cousin said to him

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as he can go on again by yourself, take your father or your brother or your uncle. Because my brother you had experience on him knowing my brother had mishandled law he had jumped into anything so humble for people

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I said and then they said either your brother or your your uncle or your father. Who does he choose? He chose his uncle.

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Oh, if he if he told me they would have told me gone with him I would have gone on

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to keep him safe.

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My brother is going

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on much as him before your son shows he's

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no, they love each other on

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your bathroom mirror. Oh mama. And

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as soon as gathered those they love.

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It took a turn. And that's when I saw them. Now they're taking off my father was there was their cousins were there to just sort of go off very nicely.

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I had a feeling Allah had a voice in my head told me

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they're going to smash into the wall and die. And then that

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voice went

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up could see it

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as hell. And then it went and I forgot about it. I'm happy and my son's having fun. Okay, you're luckless but I want him to get off. I'm not happy about it. My heart's not

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very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.

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Like the voice went.

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I see them it's like as if only the angel of death was waiting. It's like you had a rope and just pull them in.

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It wouldn't stop the petrol throttle got stuck.

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And of all people

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that have smashed into the wall at a high speed they couldn't could see them trying to maneuver they couldn't go

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very hard for me to talk about but my son

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passed away at the scene. I

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By renting him and trying to

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died within four minutes

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my brother he survived it it'll be

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about an hour he went into the ambulance with my son

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and my brothers telling him and

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following you and following you five minutes

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in the hospital the

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ethical berry

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hug my brother and son

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said don't worry, it's just temporary. When the angels come to you say this I don't know why I was saying that I was I was just saying a lot of things.

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First thing I said is in any day when I said it quickly, because I knew I wasn't gonna hold myself was inhibited or when

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I looked up in the sky, I said where I angels are just give me give me a minute just want to say goodbye to my son, you know.

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The general formula is that the mother is stuck with

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this, Allah

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and I think well if he was Pat

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insha Allah this is not the last time

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I hope in sha Allah, but on the sisters around the world can make Dohuk for them.

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He went to hombre to see a

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few messages here in Melbourne. The prayer of the absent on the May Allah subhanho wa Taala Grantham and for those

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And subhanAllah it's like

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in a really some a major adversity took place when this happened. Roland state of shock

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now and how young Your son is and your brother he's the youngest of them.

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And I grew up with them basically my ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada

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have mercy upon them and give you you and your family patients have there's a fair amount of that this month of Ramadan

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with your son

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Hamza,

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before some before a tragedy happens when we think about it

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it's actually harder thinking about when it happens it's very hard.

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But I swear by Allah something Something comes down. It's called the Marya of Allah. Allah gives you support like it doesn't happen before. It happens when it when it happens. You fall into that deep pain

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and then an Allah gives you healthy something picks you up.

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As Sakina comes and picks you up and you're about to fall in it something picks you

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that AQ

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and Allah shows you things doesn't let you go.

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Gives you beautiful dreams. I've seen three drinks. I believe they're righteous. I've seen a lot of puppies. Puppies means like different dreams. I know they're from my subconscious but three of them were clear that was short. Like remember every other house the first one I saw

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is a week later and teaching about Ramadan how Allah brings help for Muslims. It brings me here.

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I wasn't eating for a week and then

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I wasn't eating. I was losing weight.

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I didn't show for a week I didn't I just couldn't sleep nothing and just Salette when as yet when I said calling out to Allah to save me.

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Also if I didn't have faith in Emacs, and that I think you wouldn't see me.

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Really.

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And something called Hello.

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Isolation with Allah. That's all I did.

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I didn't want to see anyone but Allah kept bringing some love with the whole family to support mache people. And the love was amazing.

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I can't believe the whole world was talking about it making die for them praying for them my son used to superb on when I die on a lot of people to pray on me and I'm on my grave flat

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because his grandfather is mother's father. May Allah assist his mother and his disease and their families well obviously they've gone through a lot of pain not just me but he's his grandfather died he said Father I want my growth flat and a lot of people to prey on me and he said to his cousin Imagine we got buried we died and got buried up in better up

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that's exactly where we got buried. But these Allah brings you these things like I found these out. I remembered them his cousin with Tommy something in these dreams was coming. One week later I saw a dream.

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I used to say Allah, just please show me a sign just for being like, just give me some comfort, your comfort. Be kind and compassionate to me.

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And to my parents. I can't do this

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I wasn't coming back colors

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out of show me show me something and I see my dream that that time.

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So So my son,

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people, beautiful people come to me so you have to eat in the dream. And I said, Look, we got this food. It brought me to this nice restaurant, it was food in front of me. And they will they will sit stand aside. Just give him some comfort. To me. There's a big chair next to me beautiful chair

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in a dream

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and I see my brother with my son walking in.

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Same clothes, he died in same everything. Walk to me. He had a partial smile and he hugged me and I hugged him. I could feel his I could feel his bones. I could feel his skin. I could feel his clothes. I can hear everything. I can smell him. Like now I didn't. I knew I was that he was dead. I didn't know his dream. Everything was real.

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And I grabbed I said Baba where are you?

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On the table? Well, you know.

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I said

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it's like it doesn't upset me but he he knows he's gone. I said how are they treating? I want to know if he did he go here or there?

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I want to know am I going to see him in June or not? Am I going to go to John is he going to be my Sheffield am I going to wonder what's going to happen to us?

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Sit there Oh cable weather okay nice people.

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Turn to the FIFA and I said don't think I'm crazy in the dream. They smiled and said brother Belemnite no one here thinks you're crazy. I said Hammad is a good my brother good and he sat down next year next to me

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I woke up

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these things Allah brings them to you that you pray to Allah night I've been night prayers have been the most sweetest thing

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you know before this night prayers I sometimes at this time or this week.

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Color with Allah is sweet. And we talk about it but you don't know until you do it.

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I can't tell you

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you have to do it. You have to want to do it.

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First part of the night last Parliament now in Ramadan got Hello is 100 Allah's pantalla prepared Rasulullah Salah Salem for his mission after work after a halwa he had to go to cave of Hira.

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You have to know yourself.

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It's always so beautiful. So most sincere. Just you and Allah and honestly, I didn't think about anybody. I don't

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I talk I take it they don't take it on I don't I'm not worried about anyone just mess. Allah subhanaw taala down pleasing. You sit in the middle of the night.

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I lost me and

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it's the most beautiful thing. And this is what this is why I'm here now talking. Allah assists you. He helps you. He doesn't leave you alone.