The Art of Listening
Channel: Ammar Alshukry
File Size: 16.20MB
Episode Transcript ©
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in hamdulillah Muhammad who is the you know when I stopped Pharaoh, when the bIllahi min shallowly unforseen our mean say, Marina Mejia de la HuFa la medulla Wilma, Euclid.
Y shadow Allah Allah Allah Allah Allahu la sharika wa shadow. Mohammed Abu rasuluh was a few who mean to him, Bella risotto. A man also had uma Sala co madam hydrated by illegal hurricane Harvey her layers of law headaches or loss or abuse Sara Marie
Rebug Allah, Allah azza wa jal Nikita will carry by the rules of the lamina shaytaan Allah Jim Yeah, you handle the top Allah haka to party when Allah went to Muslim moon, or Kyla to Allah Yeah, you had NASA Takara Bakula? The halacha Kumi NAFSA Haider wahala caminho Jaha what does that mean? humare Jaiden cathedral when he sat out with double la isla de Luna be well our hub in Allah Ghana La Cumbre peba Wakata Allah your lady and I'm gonna topple Allah Bulu ponens say Dida yo Snehalatha mama la como la la como mailto Allah Allah, Allah who forgot the first oppose and I'll leave my bad.
All praise is due to Allah. We seek His guidance in his forgiveness that we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of ourselves and the whispering of our desires, whom Allah guides no one can misguide. And whom you allow us to be misled. No one can guide and I bear witness, that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allah, Allah and having no partners, and that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his slave and His messenger and his perfect worshiper. Allah Subhana Allah says, Oh, you who believe, fear Allah as he deserves to be feared and do not die except in a state of Islam. And Allah says, Oh, mankind, Fear your Lord who created you from a single soul and produce from that
soul it's made and made from their combination many men and women, so Fear your Lord whom you ask each other by and by the ties of kinship, verily, Allah is Ever Watchful over you. And Allah says, Oh, you who believe fear Allah and say that which is correct, he will correct for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, then they are indeed victorious, to proceed.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, let's call Jana Hatha told me no. Well, I told me no had that to Habu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says you will not enter Jannah until you believe
and you will not believe until you love one another.
Allah subhanaw taala describes the blessing of this love when he says well I left that day in Upolu behave Lo and Dr. Murphy out of the Jamie and Matt I left obey and Apollo obey Him. When I can Allah Allah obey, you know, Allah Subhana Allah to Allah he says that he united their hearts, the hearts of the believers. And if you Oh Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were to spend everything that is on earth, you would not have been able to unite their hearts but Allah did. But this unification of hearts is something that is a objective of the believer. Allah says in the medina Amen. No, I'm gonna slide the hat say I don't know whom Rahman would, that those who believe
and do righteous actions Allah subhanho wa Taala man will create between them love and Allah named himself Allah dude.
One of the ways I wanted to share in this whole book briefly one of the ways in which the prophets of Allah Allah was sending him was able to capture people's love
and something that we all have access to.
But we need to practice is simply listening.
I'm gonna I'm gonna answer the line, as reported by Timothy in his shamanic. He says kind of rasuluh karma Rasulullah sallallahu said love, you could be will be when he your Hadith here Allah assuredness yet to Allah for whom
he says that the province of Allah Azza wa sallam used to face people with his face. And with his speech,
garnering their love through that, the province of Elijah Selim used to face people completely. When he would talk to them, he would give them his undivided attention. And I'm the Allah and who is a shrewd politician. He understands politics. He understands how to maneuver people he understands how to garner people's respect and reverence. He said he used to capture their hearts by doing that the worst of people who used to the prophesy seldom used to face with undivided attention yet I love a homemade Oh yet I love for him be direct. And he says, and the prophets of Allah Azza wa sallam faced me Oh,
So, with undivided attention big you Academy had been on to me
until I thought that I was the best of the people.
And so tip number one that we have is to practice giving people your undivided attention when you talk to them. When you're shaking hands with people right now after a lot to make sure that you make eye contact with the person, lots of times we get that half, half face handshake, where the person is still talking to so and so he's giving your hand like this. No face the person hold on to their hand until you're able to face that person. Give them your give them that smile of yours. Give them the eye contact, give them that face, the province that Allah to send them use this to capture people's love. The second is that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
would never interrupt people.
Maybe Nairobi is tasked with coming to Rasulullah sallallahu. They sent him to make him an offer that he thought he couldn't refuse. The province of allied SLM had been causing such divisiveness in Mecca, turning a person slave against his master turning family members against each other. All of these things that were societal, no no's had never been done before. We're beginning to happen now with the Muslims in Mecca. And so he comes to the Zulu Lhasa lady who said Allah, and he makes him an offer. He says,
what you want is money,
then we're going to gather our wealth, and we're going to make you the most wealthy.
If Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, what you want is women, then just point out who you want, will marry her to you.
If what you want is leadership,
then you can be our leader.
And so the province of Elijah and setting them is listening and listening and listening until he says to him, about the fallout, you're done.
You've said everything you need to say.
And he said yes. And then the province of Elijah send them says Then listen, if you were to place the sun in my right and the moon in my left, I would not be able I would not give up this deed.
But the province on the line as Adam could have interjected right from the beginning, as soon as he realized where the conversation was going, that's what one of us would have done. They said hold on a second. No, no, no, you got this all wrong. It's not what's gonna happen. I'm not interested in this. But yet the province of Allah it has said to them listens intently because Rasulullah sallallahu sallam was sent Little Timmy McAdams o'clock he says in the Mabry studio, Tommy McCarthy Mila I was only sent to perfect good character and undoubtedly have good character is that you let a person finish their thought. Some of us are constant interrupters. We have some people here who are
constantly interrupted, they're never able to get a sentence in. It's been two years in a pandemic, they still haven't said a word in their zoom meetings without being interrupted by everybody. The idea is that you're able to allow for people to finish what they've started, and that you wait and that not only do you wait, because a lot of people when they listen, they're only listening, waiting to respond.
But even better than that, is when you listen to understand.
I'm not thinking about responding to you right now. I'm trying to be as present as I can in this conversation so that I can understand what you are saying. And then after that, I have time to respond. And guess what? When people realize
that you are being thoughtful and even if you're pausing and taking time they appreciate that conversation with you more.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has NSA the NSA numerical alone and said he said kinda either lucky who hadn't been us Harvey Fontana, una now what who era from Milan Mian Xiao Hai Hakuna Raju, a lady and zero Han salaam, the province little lady send them Anna says that whenever a person wanted the prophets, ear salida send them little solo la salida said them would give that person their ear.
And he would listen to that person until that person stopped. He would not separate from that person. I have one person who tells me he mentioned to me somebody he said I love that person so much. I said why do you love this person so much? He said I love him so much because of one thing he captured my heart with I said what is that? He said every time I call him every time we're on the phone together and we call he never rushes me to get off the phone.
I said that's like a little faith I miss I don't solve and that's that's a hard, high level to achieve. But he loves that person because of that. The idea that every time I talk to this person, I feel like I have their undivided attention. And I feel like they have time. People that ask the question and they say, Well hold on a second. What if I don't have time? What if I don't have 15 or 20 minutes some people they'll talk to you for 30 minutes or 45 minutes or an hour then you set boundaries. And you say to them, I've only got 10 minutes I've only got 15 minutes but you have my undivided attention for these 10 minutes what's happening and you give them that right so that when
it is time for you to break
Go away, they feel like they've been hurt. Number three.
A beautiful etiquette is not letting them know that you've heard it before. Not letting them know that you've heard it before I thought about the law on who he says. And he was one of the tabs in one of the great scholars of the tab eight. He said that a person he says a person will come and tell me information that I knew before he was born.
And I'll pretend like I never heard it before.
How do you feel when you come excited to tell someone a story? And then as soon as you start? They're like, we know this already?
I already heard this. Yes, yes. I already watched it. I already saw that video. I already watched that clip. Right? You just deflate that person? And yeah, I thought you've nailed the law and who is saying, I might have learned this information before that person was born. And yet I will pretend for that. Why is he doing that? Because it makes that person happy. That's it just makes that person happy. The Prophet sallallaahu Selim was asked many times by the Companions, what is the most beloved action to Allah and he would give different answers on different occasions. But on one occasion, he said Surah 232 Adamsville.
So I know I know habla Mariela for katsudon to sort of a pseudo it's an Acura. Any happiness that you bring to any Muslim becomes the most beloved action to Allah. And so even if it's allowing them to share a story with you, or to share some information with you, and that in their excitedness, and in their happiness, that you are able to match that happiness. And that is a beautiful attribute to have, when listening that you don't interrupt. And number three, that you don't
inform them that you've heard this before.
Number four, is that you validate how they feel.
Or you give some indication that you're listening. You know, the prophets, Allah, Allah how to send them.
There's a hadith in Bukhari. That's amazing. It's called the hadith of Abu Zahra.
And the story goes by the youth is long, it's very long. I should have Allah and he sits down with Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. And she tells him the story of 11 women.
Talking about their husbands
Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam is sent as the final messenger to mankind. He is tasked with delivering people from Jahannam to Jana, this is his life's mission. If there's anybody in this world who does not have the time to listen to a story about 11 women talking about their husbands, it would have been Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. The default of a busy guy is I'm a busy guy, I don't have time for this. You have anything of substance to share, you have anything of importance to share. And yet Rasulullah sallallaahu, Selim is listening to Aisha narrate this story of 11 women, half of them are complaining about their husbands describing them with all sorts of things.
This one is stingy. And this one's skinny. And this one is this and this one is that until finally the last one, she talks about a Bousada, her husband whose daughter and she's describing how you had her living lavishly in her tent and that her arms became fat and that she would sleep until noon and right now you might be getting bored of me talking about this.
at the conclusion of the story
Rasulullah sallallahu de Sydenham says to her I am to you like Abu zar, west to zona.
I am to you like Abu Zubaydah was to Hamza what is that showcase when the prophets Allah light is no comments with that. What does that showcase? He was listening.
Sometimes you'll experience that with your spouse was, Are you even listening? Yes, I was listening. What did I just say.
And the province on the line and center says I am to you like I was on our west to observe. The province of allied SLM is validating her story he is showing interest in the story of the province lies sentiment showing that he's an active listener, the province of allied SLM is not being prodded. He volunteers that information. So much so that I shall have the lion's share of this entire episode with us. And we read it generation after generations like Al Bukhari.
So number four is active or showing interest. Some of that might be that you summarize what the person just said. So what you mean is this, this, this this and they say yes, or they say no. And then you're interested in resolving it or interesting, interested in, in understanding better. And the fifth and the last
way to become a better active listener, is to simply not take it for granted.
To simply not take it for granted. Any conversation that you have with a person is a gift that ALLAH SubhanA data has given you your conversation with your mom, your conversation with your father, your conversation with your children, your conversation with your siblings, your conversation with your friends, your conversation, when a person thinks to themselves
that this conversation might be my last with this person. This might be my last conversation with my father, how will that conversation be?
This might be my last conversation with my child. How will that conversation be?
The reason why we're able to laughs out so much of conversations is that we assume that there's going to be another one, we take it for granted. And so by simply exercising
that urgency of life, being aware of the fragility of life, then every conversation becomes more meaningful, including the conversation that we have with Allah subhanho data and so on. And so the province of Elijah send them says, suddenly, it's a lotta mud there. pray the prayer of someone who's bidding farewell. The more a person is able to engage that urgency, the more every conversation becomes more meaningful, the more every Salah becomes more meaningful, the more every interaction becomes more meaningful, and that makes us take it sha Allah to Allah for what it's worth. According to Mr Corolla they were looking for some Pharaoh in Allah for right
but hamdulillah so much salam ala Rasulillah Why are you also have you sent him to the McAfee Allah. For those of us who are just joining, we're talking about the art of listening and five ways to become a better listener and we talked about the first getting giving them your full undivided attention. Number two was not letting the know if you've heard it before. Number three was not interrupting. Number four was confirming that you were listening and number five was not taking a conversation for granted. So we ask Allah as though you have to grant us His love and the love of those who he loves and the love of actions that will guide nurses love Allah Who mananas ethical
genuine, marketability him and put him in. When are all the becoming a narrow Makabe homophony mammal Allahumma attina husana Taqwa Saki Hunter Hiromasa Antonio hom Hola, hola, hola maximum dynamic sciatica matter who will behave in and obeying the Masoretic women. I take them out to buy Laguna Beach, Virginia Tech, Amelia Kinema. Tahoe we will be here at the university but dunya materion Allahumma via smartly now upside in our Cavatina over the mount of Katana which will wait I mean, I thought I don't know I don't know Bahama item and I Dinah what I say I don't say but then if you didn't you know what I tried to do. Mina? Well, I'm a blogger immunoglobulin Nerima zielona,
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