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How to Control Your Anger

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Ali Albarghouthi

Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Allahu alayhi wa an early he was so happy he was

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a murderer in Hyrule Hadith Nikita Allah He to Allah will say you're on the head, the head you Mohammed in sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. were short on Ohmori DESA to Morocco llamada 13 be the Ocho la vida Atem, bada bada that infinity A my bad

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once a man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam and he asked him also need for heilala Das.

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He came in as the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, Give me a piece of advice.

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And in some of its narration, he says, Let it not be too long, because I will forget. Give me one piece of advice that I could remember. And to that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replied and he said, Don't be angry.

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So he kept asking, give me advice and the prophets Allah Allahu Allahu wa sallam kept repeating the same piece of advice. Don't be angry.

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So this man said Carla FATF according to a the law, the bridge mashallah Kula is As I pondered that advice from the mouth prophets, Allah Allahu Allah, he was alum and I found out that anger encapsulates all evil.

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This type of advice that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam gave is one that too many of us may seem simple enough to even ignore. That is we've even heard it, or it is simple enough for you to say, Yes, I think I have this and you move on, not understanding how comprehensive and how important that advice is, not knowing that one of the entry points of the shaytaan into the life of humanity is anger. That is, if the shaytaan wants to manipulate and play with you, lead you to do whatever he wants you to do. One of the ways in addition to the desire that a person has, and the Hauer that we follow, but one of the main ways for him to have you say whatever and do whatever and destroy much

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in your life is through anger. So In another Hadith, a man asked the messengers of Allah Allah, he was the man he said, a bit of an email you by dunya, and other builder here, Kala, the avocado. I would like to adopt it. He says, Tell me, what will distance me from Allah's Anger?

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He said, You don't be angry.

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So being angry brings you closer to Allah's Anger. And when you defeat anger in yourself, then you're further away from Allah's Anger and closer to Allah's mercy.

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So, hearing about this, we have to understand, what is anger, why we become angry and how to treat it?

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How do we treat anger, because some of us will say, of course,

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I'm born this way, and I'm always angry.

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And some others of course, naturally are less inclined to anger and that is a fact. Allah azza wa jal had given us different temperaments, and you could see even from early childhood, into adulthood, people who are naturally more angry than others, and people who have more control of their angers than others, and that is a reality. People could say I also have this type of sickness in this type of circumstance that makes me constantly agitated and that is also a factor. But no matter what you have, no matter what your DNA is, no matter what your conservative stances are, each person needs to receive their portion of that advice of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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meaning to stop with our excuses, and say, Yes, rasool Allah is Allah Azza wa sallam said, don't be angry. So I have to really take that to heart and try not to be angry, to avoid and protect myself from Allah's Anger.

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First ask ourselves is why is it that we become angry?

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You have to understand that if this is an entry point of the shaytaan one thing that the shaytaan will always try to do is what make you angry, through his whispers,

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through his inseam when he insinuates suggests,

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so you have to understand that when there is a conflict between you and your brother,

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or you hear something about them or they hear something about you, the shaytaan will always be there to damage that relationship between you and your wife, between you and your children. So you have to first of all understand that you must interpret what you

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receiving the best of manners.

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And you must seek Allah's refuge from the shaytaan. And from his whispers, and from the thoughts that he planted in your head. So the shaytaan is one great and main reason for people becoming angry. And if he can push specially volatile people to become angry, what happens afterwards, they could kill each other. They could mean each other, a person

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could divorce his wife, or a wife could ask for divorce, and the family will be shattered. In fact, a person could lose many or all of his good deeds. There's a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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where a person said, noticing another who was sinful, he said, Well Hola Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. And he says, By Allah, Allah will never forgive, forgive so and so. So Allah azza wa jal said many Lithia to Allah Allah Allah Fiorelli Fudan who is the one who is swearing that I cannot, I will not forgive so and so I have forgiven him and invalidated your deeds.

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Such a statement that can come out of anger without much attention could have such catastrophic consequences. A person could reject Iman itself, and apostate because of anger.

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And that will leave a lot of regret. So first of all, understand that anger and the whispers and the build up to it comes from the shaytaan. And then when we're going to be talking about the treatment of anger, we'll be talking about seeking refuge from the shaytaan to counter his whispers, and whatever he plants in your heart, and he's standing right there beside you,

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hoping for you to slip. So anger are the shaytaan causes anger, that's one

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second of all,

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is that belief that if I'm angry, and if I'm violent, then I'm strong.

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And I need to show anger to demonstrate my strength to scare people, to have them respect me. And Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has rejected that notion altogether. And he said Alayhi Salatu was Salam ley says should you do B surah? The one who stuff the one who's strong is not the one who overpowers people.

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But Allah the M Licona. If so, who are in the heart of the one who controls himself when he's angry?

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That is, if you think that if you're in a fight with someone, and the angrier you get, the more that you prove. And you demonstrate your strength, Rasul Allah, He says, Allah, Allah wa Salam is, in fact is saying that you are becoming weaker and weaker because you are being defeated by the shaytaan, who's playing with you.

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And the one who can actually restrain their anger,

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the prophets Allah, Allah wa salam called them this is a Surah. This is the one who is strong. And another Hadith similar to it. He says, a surah to Haku surah. He says, The one who is strong who is truly strong, so what do you see him and his face is red, and his veins have popped, and they've expanded. And he says, and yet he restrains his anger, with that much anger in him, and he takes it in Word rather than outward. He says, that is what strength is. So if you really you want to be strong, the maximum strength that you could have is when somebody is attacking you, somebody is insulting you, somebody is causing you. Anger is you to hold back. And when you do this, by the way,

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Allah azote it is supporting you.

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So there's a hadith where the prophet Sall Allahu Allahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting right next to Abu Bakr and someone was insulting Abu Bakr and Abu Bakr was keeping silent, he wasn't responding. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had a smile on his face, and that person was insulting Abu Bakr and Ibaka was not responding yet until Abu Bakr had had enough. So he gave him some insults back in retribution, injustice, but he gave him some insults back as he was insulting him. When that happened Rasul Allah He sal Allahu Allah He was in them simply stood up and left.

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So aboubaker, one of the Allahu Anhu went after the prophets, Allah Allahu Allah was eliminated, O Messenger of Allah. Why did you believe why did you leave? I was just simply trying to give him some of what he had given me, giving back some of what he had given me injustice, that he wasn't doing something that was haram. The prophets of Allah Allah He was in them said, as long as you kept quiet, there was an angel beside you who was replying and giving it back to him. But when you started to avenge yourself

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shaitan

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was present. And I was not going to sit in a place where the shaytaan was present. You might find yourself in many situations in family situations or otherwise, where somebody may be is attacking you. And you have an option, you can also respond injustice. The problem was angry is that once you allow it to take hold, you seldom just, you are seldom just when dealing with people around you. And that's why the prophets Allah, Allahu Allah was in them, if you want to talk about strength, if you want to talk about support, he said, you had a angel with you, assisting you and supporting you, as long as you kept quiet.

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So it is not a strength or a matter of strength.

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But in fact, the strength is in controlling your anger. Another reason for a person to be angry is for them to be arrogant. If anybody says anything about them points, any flaw about them, they will lash back and they will respond and they will attack simply because they cannot conceive of a flaw in them.

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And such a person must and they have to know that all of us are imperfect, and all of us have flaws in us. And if somebody in fact points a flaw in you, He had given you a gift rather than the someone who flatters you and covers up your mistakes. Someone who tells you that there is something wrong with you is telling you how to fix it and you should fix it wakes you up to the fact that there is something imperfect in all of us. And that in itself is a cause for humility, and a cause for improvement. And a person has to work on that evil trait in all of us, which is what pride and arrogance so that you could dismiss it from your heart. And when you hear and any hear a correction

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or you hear a criticism, you don't respond to it with such harshness and such anger because it's unjustified.

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Another cause for it

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is for the person to be simply unhappy with Allah's decrease.

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This is a person who's constantly angry.

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Unhappy with his circumstances and Her Circumstances, I don't have this and I don't have that.

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And some have even are unhappy with the small things happening around them. It's too hot today. It's too cold today. My car did not start.

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I woke up, I woke up and it's things are not going my way. There's simply caught constantly angry with everything that is around them.

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And we have to understand to treat that thing is that first of all, it makes no sense to be angry with Allah's decrees. If you know that Allah's decrees are the best of decrees and better than yours and mine better than my choice and your choice is what Allah decides. Allah is decisions they come out of mercy and it comes out of wisdom, our decisions, they come out of selfishness and short sightedness. We don't know what is right and what is wrong for us, Allah azza wa jal knows, if Allah azza wa jal had decreed had commanded had made things a particular way. One foundational belief of Islam is that you believe the best about what Allah decided that you would be pleased and happy with

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it. Allah azza wa jal says of all the Allahu Anhu what although Ana, Allah says they He is pleased with them, and they with Him

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this is the basis of iman how was it despite all of your flaws and my flaws? We say your Allah be pleased with me. Despite all of my sins, I say yeah, Allah be happy with me. Yet you're not happy with Allah azza wa jal

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if he does things, contrary to what you want to say, I object, my decision my ideas are better. Do you comprehend what you're saying to Allah azza wa jal when you're constantly angry with things that he did not give you? Does he not know that what you need and what you do not need? Does he not know what is good for you on what is not? A Don't you know that as long as you are angry, your life will continue to be miserable.

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But if you are happy with Allah's decree, that your life will improve

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and your life will be a pleasant life because whatever comes your way you say Alhamdulillah and that thing gets blessed and your life is easy. And Allah azza wa jal guide you towards more ease from Andrade, a fella who Rideau if you're happy with Allah azza wa jal, you will find that you're happy with everything around you and everything around you is happy with you. You go with Allah's Kadar, hello, he will moderate the sweet and bitter you just flow with Alaska Yola, you want it this way. I'm going with what you want out of me because I know that it is best. Yola, you don't want it to happen this

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This way you surrender to Allah azza wa jal, and you let go of your anger. And when you let go of your attachments, don't be angry because of the dunya. The dunya comes in the dunya goes, and all of it eventually is going to go. So don't be angry with your circumstances. And to branch out of that. Also, don't be angry with yourself because there are people who are constantly angry with themselves. I'm a failure. I am not this, I am not that I should have done this. I should have done that. So they're constantly angry, and they're so hard on themselves. And a branch of being pleased with Allah's decree is to understand that whatever has happened in the past, had to happen.

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That whatever had missed, you could not have been used. Ma Colombia couldn't use Eva. Well, Ma, Saba, Colombia, Coolio,

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whatever happened to you must happen to you, nothing that you could have done would have averted that. And whatever missed you will always gonna miss you. Nothing that you could have done. It's not about you or your personality, or whether you did the right thing or the wrong thing. You have to believe if there is something in the past, it had to happen this way. And you will let go of that. And stop being angry with yourself all the time.

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Learn your flaws, and try to fix them. But don't be angry. And for that cause you to cause you to be angry with everybody around you.

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So there is that there is anger. With Allah's decree, there is anger with the self. And there's also anger with people around.

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And with that, we have to say,

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if you're expecting people around you to be angels, you're going to be incredibly disappointed. If you're expecting people around you, not to hurt you. You'll be incredibly disappointed. If you want them not to say anything bad about you.

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Then you don't know humanity.

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And understand there's this this story. This kind of beautiful story, whether it's authentic or not, does not matter because the fruit of it is beautiful. It is said that Musa alayhis salam asked Allah azza wa jal he said, Yeah, Allah, I'm going to ask you for one thing, make it so it's so people don't say anything bad about me is that you are Musa, I did not give that to myself. How would I give that to you?

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And he moves saying, Yeah, Allah. Make it so the so people don't attack me. Don't insult me. Don't say anything bad about me. Allah said I did not give that to myself. How would I give it to you? Is we in the Quran? People are saying things about Allah as noted that were recorded in the Quran for you to know it in Allah ha ha ha You don't want to hear Allah is poor and we are rich. Yet Allah him of Lulu, the Hand of Allah has devoted his shackle that is in the Quran of people attacking Allah Allah xuejun. Right.

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And Musa alayhis salam with kala Musa call me here call me Lima to Luna Nuwakot talamona near Rasulullah he lako Musa asked his people that he said all my people, why do you harm me while knowing that in the Messenger of Allah to you, badgers this says I am the messenger of allah and You are my people, why do you hurt me back? Do you expect them if they speak like that about Allah and speak about that, like that about Musa alayhis salam that people are going to spare you are not going to say things that are bad and terrible about you. They are going to say all of these things. So if you know that this is the case, and you come to expect it, and you understand that people in

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general, are foolish and ignorant, or impatient, or prone to anger, they speak before they think they're guided many times by the shaytaan. You understand that? You cannot be angry with everybody. But rather if you can develop this magnanimous attitude, like the prophets of Allah, Allah rasool Allah is Allah Allahu Allahu wa salam, then you have succeeded.

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The prophets of Allah Allah wa salam says in one Hadith he says, Well, why Yaquina BM in an NBA? Como he says, he's imitating reproducing Mundo is what some of the prophets of Allah said and did when his people hurt him. They said he said, Allah homophily told me for in the Himalaya, Allah moon, yeah, ALLAH forgive my people for the do not know.

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He knows that they are ignorant.

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Like think about it around you how many people are ignorant around us? And how at times we are ignorant as well. So if you're going to be angry, and you're going to punish everybody for being ignorant, you're going to spend your whole life being angry and punishing people.

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But if you adopt that attitude Allah homophilic owe me for in the Himalaya, Allah ammonia ALLAH forgive him. He doesn't know and you make that your DUA. Then you have learned something valuable.

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And remember that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as Aisha said,

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Man Takamura surah Allah is Allah allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam officiate in New LA he got ill and Tintagel Hermeto minha Rahmatullah he fi interclean muda he says, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would not punish anyone, for something personal done unto him. Unless something that is done, that would violate Allah's religion, he will punish for that, but nothing personally an insult or an act, the prophets Allah Allah was and would not punish back for something done that is personal. May Allah azza wa jal teach us this up and make us have the will who control their anger. Or who know Holy hell, that was the Fulani or the confessor.

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Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Hamdan catharanthus, even Mubarak and fee, he will also leave Sallim, ala Rasulillah, he Mohammed,

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he was so heavy, he was so bad. We're all very used to the idea of upgrading software, right on your device, as it says the upgrade is there. And once you download it, there's improvements in an enhancement in functioning. You avoid this and you protect yourself from that it's a better performance once you upgrade. So every advice that you listen to is an opportunity to upgrade,

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an opportunity to sit to say here I can take this. And once I take this in the next hour, I will be a better person because I've downloaded and I'm installed at beard Nila hazard and I'm going to keep trying to be better.

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And not just simply listen to it and ignore it or say that's too difficult or that's not for me. So anything that is coming to us from Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam needs to be absorbed it needs to be implemented and that is our upgrade bitten Allah azza wa jal for this week and for today, so how do you fight your anger? First or suit Allah He is Allah Allahu Allah, he was in them. He said that if you say when you're angry, that oh the bIllahi min ash shaytani R Rajim Your anger will subside or will go away. So we understand that the shaytaan is behind it. So when you become angry, you remember to say what?

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Oh, the bIllahi min ash shaytani R regime and understand that it is a struggle, and it's striving to be able to contain it and maintain it, you will succeed and fail, succeed and fail until Allah azza wa jal gives you success and control over your anger in normal Hill movie to help them you want to be a forbearing person, a patient person, you need to work on it. So the first thing is that oh bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim. The second is, he said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we're either holding their first good, we're either holding their first good, it says when you become angry, be quiet. When you become angry, be quiet, meaning don't talk. At that moment, in that hour, when you

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really angry, don't respond. Just be quiet, until you have a chance to think about what you want to say and what you want to do. And then later on, you may be able to respond but at that moment,

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don't talk

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and if people simply just follow that advice, add to it also. The other advice from Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says either Quinta, it or other Delon, Taka In fact, it says, if you become angry while you're standing, sit down. And if that does not go away, lay down.

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If a person just simply does that and does not speak, you will understand how we can control our anger and stop the consequences that follow from it. Because a person who is not going to talk when they're angry, and whoever is standing sits down or lies down is not going to do something that they will regret later.

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That and some of the other might have added also based on some weak hadith is that you go and perform widow with cold water to kind of to extinguish the heat that you find while you're angry. Add to it also that part of the dua of rasool Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a Luca Kennametal HACCP if you read our love is Allah I asked you to So speak the truth while I'm happy and angry. And that underlies what we are talking about all along, which is that when you become angry, the things that will come out of you are things that you are going to regret later on. Things that will

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destroy relationships hurt people's feelings, and that you can never take back.

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Add to it insha Allah keeping the company of those who are forbearing, who are patient who are forgiven, and also reading about them Subhanallah one of the stories, as we mentioned about Rasulullah he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he would never avenge himself, and he had someone voluntarily serving him out of his Salatu was Salam and as of nomadic, and he said, he never told me when I did something, why do you do do it that way, and not this other way. He never corrected me. And he is salatu salam. And that means that he also was never angry with him. Because when it comes to matters of the dunya Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam holds back his anger, he wants to sauce, a

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hobby, and the sahabi was hitting his servant and the prophets, Allah, Allah said them from afar. When he saw that scene, he said, understand that Allah has more power over him, then more power over you than you over him.

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That if this is what you do when when you're angry, remember that Allah as it also gets angry when he sees injustice, if you're punishing him, understand that Allah could punish you with a much more severe punishment than the one that you're given to that servant. And as a consequence, he freed

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he freed him, he let him go.

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But to understand these stories, and to understand that you don't always have to have the upper hand and the last word, to understand that if somebody insults you, it doesn't mean that that insult needs to stick. Once Omar Abdullah Abdullah Aziz Rahim Allah He was walking into the masjid.

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And he is the Khalifa at that point. And he had a guard with him. And he accidentally ran over somebody or hit him by mistake. He was laying down and that person turns to Omar Abdulaziz and he says, Are you crazy image neuron and are you crazy? He says, No, I'm not. The guard wanted to punish that man for talking like that to the Khalifa. And what did the Khalifa said? He said he simply asked me to stop he simply asked me, am I crazy? And I said, No. I kept Kwok.

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When you have this confidence that is built on Eman. Things don't stick. It doesn't matter what people say or don't say, yes, it could agitate you. But when you come back to Allah zoton and rely on him and control your anger, these things don't stay with you.

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So let us be Nila as voted as wives, as parents, as children, as neighbors as people in the masjid. When we exit the masjid as people in the street everywhere, control your anger. And don't let the shaytaan play with you. And understand the process of the prophets of Allah who audio was in them talked about about how to control it, what to say and what to do practicing. Ask Allah Zota to give you control over it. And may Allah Allah protect us from the shaytaan Allah Allah, Allah Allah make us of those who remember you often and control their anger make a saleable alignment of those who forgive those who have wronged them make us Europa Alameen of those who forgive those who have

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wronged them. Those who have said bad things about them make a saleable I mean of those who returned to you we are hamara Haman and repentance and asking for forgiveness make us era but Alameen of those who have cleansed hearts, cleanse our heart of shake and the fat and be die herbal al Amin take away the anger that you have in our hearts and replace it with serenity or hamara hai mean makers of those durable Alameen who are honored in the dunya and in the era makers of those who will follow the setting of your Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in worship and in Madras er hamara Amin Allahumma attina for dunya Hassan Ophelia Tierra de hacer una working out other than na

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