Issues of Marriage #10

The Hadith in a collection, Imam Malik in

his murtah. It's a very it's very rare

that you find a hadith that's only in

the murtah or

it's well known within that book and it

has an authentic generation.

It's a nice story within the topic of

issues of marriage

that we are covering.

Fauthi ibn Qais

a very

noble

and well known Qurayshi lady.

She was she was someone of great, great

nobility, great background and she was very intelligent

and very well educated.

When my husband Abu Amur ibn Hafs my

ex husband divorced me,

meaning he divorced me,

meaning there was no going back was over.

Meaning I went through my 'idha and it

was over.

I went to the Prophet and I told

him something.

There are 2 people who asked for my

hand in marriage. Abu Jahan, ibn Hisham

and Abu Jahan. Not Abu Jahan. Abu Jahan.

One of the Sahabi just people looked at

me funny. Abu Jahan, right? One of the

known He's an Ansari Sahabi and Waawiy ibn

Abi Sufyan, the known Sahabi.

Now, the hadith is not What I'm gonna

say right now is not what I narrate

the hadith for, but I'm gonna just hit

pause here for a moment and just point

this out. That's how easy it was.

See how simple what I just told you

was?

She was married. She got divorced. She finished

her 'iddah. 2 people asked for her hand

in marriage. She's gonna marry one of them.

That's how simple it was. Very simple. Marriage

was easy, it was quick.

For a lot of reasons, but for sure

Talaq meaning someone being divorced was not a

stain of shame that would ruin your life

till the end of time. And the ruin

of life of your children and all those

who come after you until No. It was

something that happened. People sometimes did not get

along and instead of hurting each other, abusing

each other, and hating each other, they would

separate

and they would do tulaqanaf. And the lady

would get married again and the man get

married again.

Given polygamy was more of a thing back

then, so it was easier to do it.

But still marriage occurred quicker. So Fal'l al

Mitzkays finished her Ida and she had 2

people asking for a hand.

So the prophet alaihis salatu wa salam said,

Asfi Abu Jahan, he's a man who's very

strict. He carries

his his aswah on his and his stick

is on his shoulder. He's strict. He's strict

with everybody. You're not gonna be here. Mu'awiya

Saluk. Saluk is someone who is young and

has no like he's not stable. And Mu'awiya

at that point was young,

so he was asking marriage a lady who

was at least a decade older than him.

At least.

And he was still dependent in his life

on the wealth of his father.

And his father, Abu Sufyan,

was cheap.

He was known to be cheap. He said

it about himself, and his wife told him

about himself. Everyone saw it. He he didn't

he didn't get it was hard to get

the kush out of his hand. Hand. So

had not established himself yet. So, yes, he

had a lot of wealth because his father

was very wealthy and he would become very

wealthy. But at that point in his life,

he had no wealth.

He's he's walking around doing things. Why he

doesn't have no money? He wants to take

care of you.

Again, not the point of this hadith but

point something else. The prophet alaihis salam answered

very honestly.

Very honestly alaihis salam. He didn't lie. Even

though he liked Abu Jahham, he liked Muawiya.

Both of them were his companions. But he

didn't lie. Because when it comes to the

dhimma, when marriage is happening you have to

be honest.

Ghiba and ninema is haram. But if someone

asked me about someone for marriage, I had

to say what I know Because there's an

issue of this is a big deal.

2 families are going to be 2 people

are being united in a very very sacred

manner and people are looking for honesty. They

want to know what this person is like.

They don't care about So the prophet is

very clear. Abu Jam, great guy. Very strict.

Very strict. You're not gonna You're not gonna

You're not gonna

You're

not gonna

You're not gonna You may not want to.

So even though he, you know, he loves

both of them, but he's not gonna lie

to her.

Accept marriage of Usama bin Zayed.

I didn't like him. I looked at Usama,

His father

is Zayd ibn Haritha. The prophet alaihis salam's

adopted son. His mother anyone know his mother?

Just just for like a trivia question. Anyone

know whose mother is?

You Haram, Meshum.

Allahi. Allahi haram. You don't know his mother?

Wait. Usama's

mother.

The prophet alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala

alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala

alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala

alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala

alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala's

nanny.

She took care of him. He was a

kid. She dug the grave of his mother

with him.

The great lady. Said, waja wazam, Zayd got

married to Zaynab. They were miserable.

And he married Umu Aiman Barakar Habashiya. Again,

at least a decade and a half older

than him. And they were very happy and

they had Usama. Usama. So Usama was from

a mixed race racial background.

Usama was mixed race.

His father

was

as white as that light. He was Arab

very very

She's the opposite.

Usama was for a mixed marriage.

A racially mixed marriage back then, a culturally

racially mixed marriage. He looked his he was

a Yani caramel. That was his color. So

Filipina looked at him and she didn't like

him. He's like I

didn't want to marry someone. The Qurayshi have

a certain lineage they didn't like.

So he left

to me and marry Usama Bin Zayed. Those

are the guys that are not gonna be

getting. She'll make you happy.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala put so much khair

in this marriage, I became

the

I mean people started to envy me over

that my marriage with Usama.

The ladies around me start to feel envious

of my relationship with my husband when I

married him.

From the book of the prophet

alaihis salatu wasra. Not only does he offer

advice immediately, that is honest, but he will

also

match make.

He he he was matchmaking alaihis salatu wa

salaam. No. No. I'm not doing it. Just

so you know.

No. That's

not that's not me at all.

He match made And it didn't always work.

He match made

the father of Usaym to Zaynab.

Like he he Zaynab been hired to marry

Zaynab

and then they got divorced. But he did

it alaihis salatu wa sallam.

You know the proverb in Arabic?

Alright. Im shibish.

Walk in someone's desk, but don't walk in

their marriage. Meaning meaning,

go to their to their funeral, but don't

go to their wedding. Like

contribute to their funeral, but don't contribute to

their wedding. Right? Because of how why? Because

we changed how marriage is seen. Because we

changed how marriage functions. So we made it

something that's a nightmare for everyone involved. It's

a nightmare for this for the groom, and

for the bride, and for their parents, and

for anyone who's helping them. It's just a

nightmare. No one has finished a wedding and

said, I wish we could go on. Anyone

who finishes the wedding is like,

and this day is over and I hope

I never have to think about this day

ever again.

Why? Because there's so much Because we've made

marriage so stressful and so It's no longer

something that is enjoyable by the way. Yeah,

maybe the ladies have a good time and

they're dancing and whatnot and they take the

pictures. But really outside of that marriage is

no longer an enjoyable occasion. It's supposed to

be joyful. It's supposed to be joyful. And

the prophet alaihis salam was very honest because

because of his honesty. He was honest about

the people and he would suggest people to

others and they would get married

and they would be fine and they would

find happiness even though they're mixed. This hadith

has so many things to learn from. It's

a mixed marriage. Like he's a man who

comes from a background that is very rare.

Very rare for Allah to marry. It was

very rare. Salama looked.

He stood out in the way he looked.

She didn't want but then she married and

she said,

this man.

this man.