Abu Bakr Zoud – What is Hayaa (Modesty) & How To Teach It To Our Children

Abu Bakr Zoud
AI: Summary © The importance of teaching children to be modest and shy is emphasized, particularly in situations like seclusion and virginity. It is important to educate children on their own quality of character and to avoid harming their eyes. It is also important to teach children to stay away from disrespectful behavior and avoid mixing children with alcohol. It is also important to teach children the meaning of "immediate modestry" within the age of seven for parents to teach children the real meaning of "immediate and higher".
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:00 --> 00:00:01

First question

00:00:02 --> 00:00:04

How do I teach higher to my kids?

00:00:07 --> 00:00:16

Smilla habla commendable him and humbly let him up behind I mean salatu salam ala Rasulillah while early he also be remind,

00:00:18 --> 00:01:03

All Praise and thanks belongs to Allah subhanho wa Taala May the peace and blessing of Allah be upon His servant and final messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So we start off with this first question. And it's a such an important and a great question, especially in the time that we are living in a higher modesty. The question is, how do I teach my children modesty and how is the purchase person nurtured and disciplined and raised upon a higher modesty? First and foremost, modesty or a higher? This is from the great teachings of Islam. And we need to focus on this type of teaching, especially to our children, especially in the day and age that we live in. Today. There is

00:01:03 --> 00:01:53

plenty of filth, there is spent plenty of corruption out there. And what differentiates a Muslim from other than a Muslim is this quality of a higher SubhanAllah. The believer has a higher offer than the believers they don't know the meaning of higher and they don't have higher and modesty in their life. When maybe sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said in an authentic hadith liquidly Deen hold Holyoke, every religion has manners and characters were in the hollow called Islam and higher and the character of Islam. The manners that are taught in Islam are higher. It is all about modesty. Wouldn't it be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also mentioned that Allah Eman newborn was to tuna

00:01:53 --> 00:02:48

shorba. That Eman is of many branches is almost 70 branches of Eman and then in the VSAM Allahu alayhi wa sallam would say well higher or shorter, but to Minal Amen. Modesty is a branch of faith, meaning and Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he tied modesty to faith. So what does this mean? If a person has modesty, then he has email, he has email, and the one who does not have modesty. He doesn't have higher his Eman. His faith is incomplete. It's deficient, it's missing. We will not only this, but also so we can learn about the importance of higher each and every single prophet that was sent to mankind taught the people about this great quality and character of higher modesty,

00:02:48 --> 00:03:36

as in the recent Allahu alayhi wa sallam said in the mean metadata can nurse mean Qlm in the Woolworth ruler, even the story first nanosheet Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, from the words from the prophetic words that were shared, and that was spread to every community that came on earth was eval them to study first night mesh, it was modesty. And then an abuse of Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, if a person doesn't have modesty, then go and do what you will. And this is not the only a command to go and do what you will. This is rather a warning. Meaning if you don't adhere to modesty, then go and do what you want, for you will be accountable and questioned for it on the Day

00:03:36 --> 00:04:18

of Judgment. So what holds us back from sin and transgression and disobedience is the character of a higher modesty. And this is why it is important to know and to answer this question of how do we develop this modesty within ourselves and in our children, especially when the Wii sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was described, can I shall do hire and mineral adore II filthy dilihat Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was the best of those who applied the character of higher modesty in his life. And he was described that he was more modest

00:04:19 --> 00:05:00

than a virgin in seclusion, and you know, a virgin woman, when she is in seclusion, which when she is alone with her husband for the very first time, how modest and how shy is she at that moment? And nobody salAllahu alayhi wasallam was more modest than this law awkward. So let's first define what hire is, and then we give any quickly certain examples on how to teach your children and instill within them higher. So what is higher, we need to first define and understand and nobody sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once came out to the Companions. And he said to them, is that Yamuna Allah Ha ha, ha

00:05:00 --> 00:05:24

yet, he said to them, oh companions be modest and shy of Allah azza wa jal. Now this hadith is going to define what modesty is. He said to them this. So the Companions they said in dynasty him and Allah who have been higher, they said O Messenger of Allah, we are showing, we are modest of Allah azza wa jal, we are shy of Allah subhanahu wa taala

00:05:25 --> 00:06:11

so then he said to them, Lisa COTELLIC No, no, no, this is not what I mean. He said to them in the ministry, I mean Allah He had been higher for the for the road so, my one well you haven't bought more Mr. Hower. While you have good in motor oil biller woman around Florida Tanaka, Xena tell hayati dunya and Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam defined modesty with four things. He said, whoever is truly modest, and showing of Allah azza wa jal that he needs to do four things, and that would aid him in developing modesty, number one failure of the road, so am I, he must safeguard his mind and that which surrounds it. So you need to safeguard your mind and that which surrounds it, your

00:06:11 --> 00:07:03

eyes, the nose, that is the mouth. So what this means is Don't allow yourself to read and to come across filth and corrupt material, expose your mind to only that which is guidance and pure and authentic. So in this case here, when you're raising and nurturing your children upon hire upon modesty, make sure that you only buy them books that teach them guidance, and teach them good ways of how to live a successful life alive that is pleasing to Allah azza wa jal and then the eyes also a person must guard his eyes. There is modesty in this. So you teach them from a young age, what is permissible to look at such as the sky, we'll look at your parents look at what Allah azza wa jal

00:07:03 --> 00:07:55

has made halal. And avoid looking at the Haram teach them from a young age. What Haram is, when you go by and pass drive onto the roads or walk into the malls and you see billboards of naked woman and naked men and so on. Tell them this is haram. And we are not allowed to look at these feel free images. And these images of women and men that are naked, tell them tell them this don't just cover the eyes or don't just ignore the the billboard and walk off every time you come across a billboard or an advertisement on the television or whatever it is. make mention of it, discuss it and see these are people that don't have hire a new my child, I will raise your upon and higher. So do not

00:07:55 --> 00:08:40

be like this and do not look at this. And this is how you teach them to God safeguard their eyes. If the eyes has been safeguarded and it has been turned away from the haram. Then this is modesty in a person's eyes. And then also the words, teach them to speak good words and refrain from bad evil words such as swearing, cursing, insulting, backbiting, gossiping, teach them of these matters and how much of a grievous sin they are in Islam and also the E and make sure they are listening to that which is permissible and that which is recommended, and the good words will haram haram words. Teach them to keep away from this. If there is a gathering of backbiting and slander and gossip, walk

00:08:40 --> 00:09:26

away, move away, tell them get up and go otherwise you will join the people in their sin. Now this is the first part of modesty that has got to do with the head and everything around it. So we worship Allah azza wa jal with the blessing He's given us of the eyesight, the ears and our tongue and our minds, and we do not use them to displease Allah azza wa jal, whoever keeps away from the haram. When it comes to these organs of the face and the head. Now he is modest, he has modesty, and then an OB sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, While Yafa will bob no matter why, and to safeguard the stomach, the abdomen area and that which is surrounded and that is the privates of a person. So you

00:09:26 --> 00:09:59

need to teach your children that part of higher is that you only eat that which is halal, and avoid that which is haram even if you're going to starve. Unless a person reaches a state of almost between life and death. He can eat that which is impermissible and that's a different matter to discuss but it is teach them to only eat that which is halal and to earn a living from Halal means and the name to also safeguard the privates. And that is the need that the private organs that here

00:10:00 --> 00:10:39

is a matter of higher as well. So from a young age, when the child is growing, you teach them to go to the bathroom, and to close the door behind them. Sometimes children go to the toilet, they keep the door open, and their brothers and sisters walking, they can see them. Slowly, slowly, this becomes something natural. Don't do this. Teach them to close the door behind them when they enter the bathroom. Sometimes children are scared, they don't want to close the door because they're scared. So reassure them and go and hold the door closed and stand behind the door, tell them I'm here. And I've just closed the door so that no one sees you. If he's has a great impact on the

00:10:39 --> 00:11:18

children as they're growing, he says something important as the child grows, when he wants to dress or take his clothes off, make sure they go to a room in by themselves or away from their brothers and sisters, and that they clothed in private. This is how you're going to teach them and hire. Also, when it comes to activities. I know in schools because you're speaking about children and children go to school, and some schools, they offer swimming classes, right there are swimming classes, and they take the students, the boys and the girls to a swimming pool, whatever it is. And then the boys and the girls, they dress the way they dress for swimming, and they all swim among

00:11:18 --> 00:12:03

each other. And this is how long this is not allowed. You do not want to nurture your child upon this kind of teaching. So if that's the case, then avoid the swimming classes altogether. Avoid sending your children to the swimming classes altogether. The swimming classes that are mixed between the boys and the girls, from from V five V six V seven, whatever it is, these are only breaking and higher. They are destroying modesty within the child. They are making them believe that swimming with this kind of outfit in front of other boys and girls is all fine, it's all good. And as a result we destroy slowly and slowly and higher within these children. So avoid sending your

00:12:03 --> 00:12:48

children to mixed classes at the swimming swimming pools and swimming centers and so on. So this is how a person is going to God is private to them Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said, When the children reach the age of Tim, for Kobe number and Phil mobilya, separate between them when it comes to the bed. So when children when your goals and your boys, your daughters and your sons, and even if you only had sons or you only had daughters, it is not allowed to have them on the same bed on the one blanket. It is haram to have them under one blanket. Why? Why is this then the Lord Rama whom Allah said that the children at the age of 10 as a 100 Warhammer Allah mentioned, this is an

00:12:48 --> 00:13:32

assumed age in where they now know, sexual matters. They understand sexual matters at this age. So by the age of 10, separate the children at the age of 10 are supposed to learn sexual education they know about these matters by this age. And if someone asks, When do we teach them sexual education and so on at this age, by the age of 10, you're supposed to teach them then this is the age where you're supposed to separate in the beds, because they know of these matters now, for this is also a way in how to instill and higher and modesty in your children when they're still in your house and they have reached the age of 10. Now for all of these are very important than in the recent Allahu

00:13:32 --> 00:14:10

alayhi wa sallam said, Well, you have good in multiple Villa and always remember death and the ending of a person that you will all end you will become dust you'll become dirt that's the end of a person when you consistently remember death and how a person would end in his grave that also instills modesty and higher within a person. Because such a person now becomes content with what Allah azza wa jal has given him, and he rushes to do good deeds and he rushes to October, as opposed to a person who neglects the topic of death and doesn't remember death. This person his higher his modesty would be deficient. Because if you do not remember death, you're not content with what you

00:14:10 --> 00:14:50

have. You will always be greedy for more and you will delay your Tober and you will delay doing good deeds. So a part of modesty is always to remember that it keeps you humble. It keeps you modest before Allah subhanahu wata Allah and then unreasonable Allahu alayhi wa sallam finally said, Woman, Allah, the HERA Tharaka zenith and hieratic dunya. And whoever wants the afterlife whoever is looking forward to the afterlife, then he should detach from the adornments of this worldly life. So take from this world the life what you need no problems, but the things that you don't need, and they are wants for you. Keep away from them and teach your children this. Every time you go into a

00:14:50 --> 00:14:59

store and the child wants this and he wants this and the ones that don't and saying give them everything they want. You're not teaching them higher in this matter. You tell them listen

00:15:00 --> 00:15:42

their needs and their wants, what are the things that you need my son, my daughter, I'll buy it for you no problems and the wants, we can't have too much of this, we are going to reduce our wants. You want the toy, we might buy one one every month one once, once a week, once a month, whatever it is, you find something that way. You do not attach them to the enjoyment of this worldly life. And of course, a child from the age of zero to seven. This is playtime. This is fun time this is enjoyment. Go ahead and play with the children at this age. And then after this, you need to start teaching them the real meaning of Al higher from seven from the age of seven going up. This is where we need

00:15:42 --> 00:16:00

to now start implementing those things that I spoke about of closing the door of the bathroom. Go and change alone in your room. The swimming classes and so from the age of seven going up, this is where we need to be we need to be careful because this is where they're going to start learning quicker and quicker. One Allahu Allah Allah Allah

Share Page

Related Episodes