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How can we marry more than one wife in these modern days

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Abdurraheem Green

Channel: Abdurraheem Green

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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This is the last question the last one, please. Oh, and it's written down.

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I can't believe this is the question you've asked the last question.

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Yo,

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now that we live in modern days, how can we marry more wives and still say it's fair?

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You know, and he was saying the one about, you know, sex in Islam is not relevant. I mean, you know, okay, brothers and sisters. Okay.

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I will give you my perspective. I will give you my perspective on this.

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Brothers and sisters, I will tell you absolutely. I think polygamy is mashallah one of the beautiful things that Allah subhanaw taala has given to this religion. It is a truly beautiful and amazing thing. And it's a gift Allah has given in Islam. So what I believe, and I believe that if people practice polygamy properly, it will be a blessing for the woman, first of all, and for the man, actually, secondly, right? I believe also, that polygamy is actually really prescribed for the benefit of the woman more than it is prescribed for the needs of the man. Right? And I'm talking about women in general. Okay. And the reasons for that are because it allows the, those sisters who

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are divorced or who are widowed or not, or whatever, okay, to find an opportunity of companionship with a man that I'm talking from real experience, this is true, not just in the past, but today as well, that they will not be able to find in a halal way. Otherwise.

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Okay, so there are many, many, these are just some of the benefits of polygamy the other benefits that we could list if it was practice properly. Okay, is that the sisters, and that's how it should be the Sisters in Islam could help each other, to educate children, to care for the families. Okay, to mix together to live together to support one another. The benefits educationally, emotionally, economically, socially, if it was practiced properly, absolutely tremendous. So I reiterate that polygamy is one of the great blessings that Allah subhanaw taala has given this religion, obviously, from the man's point of view, it permits the man to, you know, satisfy certain desires that he might

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have, that will not be able to be satisfied only by one woman. Okay. So these are some aspects of the man but of course, with it comes responsibility. However, brother, it's the last question, there's no point putting your hand up. No.

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Okay. So. So, on the other hand, brothers and sisters, I have this to say, Okay.

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I have this to say,

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the reality for us living here in the West, is, first of all, first of all, that polygamy is something that although we know that many men have wives and girlfriends and mistresses, and visit prostitutes, at the same time in the West, we know that including the presidents of America, right, including the Prime Minister, presidents of France, right, I think even I don't know, of Denmark, or this quite a few, they come out of the closet. And we find that when they die, they have wives, or they have mistresses, who have kids, a whole separate family. So we see this going on, and it's perfectly acceptable to them. Right. But for some mysterious reason for a man to do this, legally

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and openly, right, is something they don't accept. But that's a fact. Polygamy is not something that we have been ordered to do in Islam. It's something that is an option that is there, if it is needed, but my general opinion about the reality of polygamy, okay, is that it is something that for all practical purposes, is very, very difficult to practice and to do it fairly in the west and that the reason for that is because, number one financially, the burden is huge, just in order to support one family

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The burden is huge in order to do that, so there's the financial responsibility. Secondly, there is the question of time, the way life is in the West, is that we are so busy being minced by the mincing machine, right. So busy working, so busy spending so much time working. And if we add to that brothers and sisters, the efforts that we should be putting into giving Dauer.

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Right, and the efforts that we should be putting into improving the community and the society in which we live, we should take up a lot of our spare time.

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Okay, you will, in fact, in reality find that you will not have time to do that. So, you know, my position concerning myself personally, for example, is I don't see how I could be fair, or just to my wife, and my children, if I was to get, you know, if I was to get married again. Because as it is, I don't spend enough time with my wife or my children as it is, I don't give them as it is the full rights that I should give them. And that's part of the nature of the society in which we live. And that is something that you have to take into account, when you think of these things. Because you have a responsibility, your wife is not only your wife, right? She is your sister in Islam, as

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well. You have duties and responsibility, okay? To your wife and your kids. And it's very, very important that you do not oppress your family. Okay? So these are things that should really, really be considered. Now I'm not giving a fatwa here, that this is haram or this or that or whatever. Okay. But the reality is that I generally believe that, you know, if brothers come to me and say, Oh, brother, I really want to get married again, I say, No, I know, brother, you really want to get married again. Believe me, I really want to get married again. You know, but don't do it. Just don't do it. Okay, now, brother this and I said, No, Brother, don't do it. You want my advice? Don't be

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patient. Right? Find the find what you need from your wife, because it will destroy you. It'll break you. It will break your family, one or the other, it will break this wife or that wife. So if you really don't really want to see your kids very often, and you want it to end in disaster, I'm not saying it will, it may and sometimes I'm dilla. You know people do manage them brothers and sisters do manage, you know, to do this thing properly, and to benefit from it, all of them. And it happens under there are good examples. But unfortunately, those good examples are not many, partly because the men do not know how to treat women properly. And the women do not know how to treat the men

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properly. And the truth is we don't fear Allah subhanaw taala enough. That's the reality. We don't fear Allah enough. Right? So that's my advice. You know, you can take it or leave it. If you ask me in this society, I think by and large, to get another wife, generally it ends up being not fair. Basically, because I think the wife and the kids suffer in a way that in other times in other situations, they wouldn't. It's just my opinion, it's not a fatwa, Allah subhanaw taala knows best you can take it or leave it. So brothers and sisters