E-REMINDERS – Be Careful Who You Take As Friends
Channel: Abdurraheem Green
File Size: 20.36MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Salam Alaikum brothers and sisters welcome back to another stage in the hero's journey after a hiatus for a while, we're back. And Hamdi learn today we're going to be talking about your friends, be careful who you take as your friends now we introduced this subject in our last talk.
And that's because we're in the realm of trials and tribulations. And this is it. We're in the hero's journey right now. And the hero's journey is all about transformation. It's all about change. It's all about how do we transform ourselves? How do we change ourselves? How do we come? How do we how do we become better? And more complete? And more whole? As human beings? How do we self actualize? How do we become the best people that we can be brothers and sisters, that's what it's all about. So I'm not going to be repeating a whole lot of stuff. But today, I really want to focus on something that's really important. Now, I want to begin by mentioning that who you choose as your
friends is something that is really important. Anything you want to achieve. Anything you want to accomplish. The choice of your company is supremely important in determining that successful outcome of that endeavor that you want to achieve. This is something that is well known, it's well established. I mentioned it in my willpower course, that is very briefly, in fact, it might have closed today. I'm sorry, if you missed it, it may still be open today, because we open it very, very briefly, this would have been a great place to mention it. But if not wait until it's open. Next time I have a course that's online, we only open it a couple of times a year. And what I do, and I
talk about, and I go through a very simple series of systems through which and by which an exercises through which by which you can build your willpower. And what I realized is that a lot of the things that we're talking in the hero's journey are actually connected to the same thing. Very much it's connected to goals that you want to achieve things that you want to accomplish. Obviously, when we're on the hero's journey, there's something the hero wants to accomplish a goal that he or she wants to reach, and something that person needs to achieve.
One of the most important things that you're going to have to find in life, and it's all part of growing up is realizing who your real friends who your true friends really are. And inevitably, when you bake a break away from the companionship of your family, you move into a different realm. You move into that place, you're independent now, but you're a human being you need companionship, and we're human beings, we knit we're social animals, we live together, we work together, we accomplish things together. That's part of what it means to be a human. And ultimately, as we've talked about before, that's what makes somebody or something truly heroic is not just about what their individual
achieves for themselves, but in the end what they can give back to the greater good of humanity to their community, and so on and so forth.
So today we're going to be talking about, be careful who you choose as your friends. This is because the people you are with, you are literally going to follow them you're going to be like them. And this is really the reality. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that Be careful who you choose as your friends, because you will take your religion from your friends. Now when we say friends, like I guess this is a term that could mean many, many different things. But look, the bottom line is the people you spend most of your time with the people who you feel most close to the people that you take, especially the people who you look up to and who influence you and who you
take direction and guidance from and who are the people you go to in your times of trouble and need and distress.
Figuring out who the people you need to spend time with in order to be able to reach your goal or reach your destination. This is definitely without doubt one of the biggest challenges one of the hardest things we have to go through and one of the biggest learning lessons in life. There are too many people
Those who have great skills, who have put their time and their energy and their effort into really mastering something. And they've only been let down by what, by the group of friends, they hung out with, who, instead of encouraging them to pursue these goals, told them, let's go out drinking, let's go out partying, let's go out doing whatever, and really just ending
ending up causing that person to waste their life.
And these are people who don't hate you, these are people who don't want bad for you necessarily. They're just not going to help you achieve your goals. They're just help not going to help you cheat or achieve your objectives. And this is what is really important brothers and sisters, remember, you know that the hero has been called to adventure, right, you've been called to adventure. And that call to adventure is a call to transformation.
But there are people along the way, who are going to be calling you away from that, trying to call you back to what you are upon before or even worse, calling you to something even worse than what you are upon before calling you to misguidance calling you to a path of evil calling you to a path of destruction. You know, and this is what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said he you know, he drew a line, he said, This is my straight path. And this is the straight path. This is the Serato master key, this is the straight path, and then he drew lines coming off that path. And these are paths leading away from the straight path. And on every one is a cooler to the gates of jahannam.
And what is interesting about this is that these paths are on these corners to the misguidance are on the path, they're not far away, they're on the path. And in reality, that's one of the most in a sense, one of the most difficult things to adjust to, and to come to terms with that sometimes the biggest enemies that you can have are the ones who pose as being your closest friends. Even more dangerous, are people who have no interest in your well being. In fact, there are people who want your destruction. They want your destruction.
And they pose as your friends, they pose as your allies, they actually outwardly claim to be even upon the path that you are upon. Even they say yes, we are on this journey as well. These are the most difficult people to separate yourself from. Because for all intents and purposes, they're not saying, Hey, guys, let's just go and have a good time. You know, let's do this. Let's do that. They will say no, I'm here to help you. You know, I'm I'm on that same path as you. I'm on the same way as you. Yes, I want that too. But they don't, they're actually literally doing it purposefully to destroy you manipulate you misguide you, on purpose, it could be out of hatred. This is this is what
is called NIF up. This is why hypocrisy, the greatest enemies, to the Muslims are the hypocrites, the people who outwardly are claiming to be Muslim, but inwardly they only wish they conceal actually what they conceal in their heart is cover and disbelief, and all they want is destruction and misguidance. So, brothers and sisters, listen, I'm going to repeat myself here.
any goal you want to achieve, say you want to become an athlete? Yeah, I talk about this a lot. Because for a bit, two of my kids, we're sort of going down that path of, you know, becoming athletes, right? So I sort of got a bit of an experience with what it takes.
I was in that sort of world for a bit. And, you know, I, I studied, I read, I looked, you know, I just studied the whole, what does it take to be a top athlete? What does it take to be a top performing athlete.
And you know, you can't afford to let yourself be distracted. And 100% If you want to be, you know, if you want to be the best athlete, you need to surround yourself with people who are going to drive you in the right direction, who are going to encourage you, and who are going to not just encourage you, but they're going to up your game, they're going to make you even better than what you are. Right. So I mean, depending on the sport, but look, if you want to be a good tennis player, guess what you're going to have to do, you're going to have to hang out with tennis players, you're going to have to play a lot of tennis and in order to do that you're probably gonna have to make friends
amongst people who also play tennis just what you're going to have to do. Same with anything golf any, you know, any sport that you can think of. It doesn't make
Out of what it is right? And you're going to have to make sure that you don't hang around with people who distract you. If you want to be an entrepreneur, if you want to be a successful businessman, if you want to make lots of money, guess what? Right? You're going to have to hang around with people and make your friends the group of people who are going to help you achieve those goals and objectives. So here it is brothers and sisters, if you want Paradise, and if you want to be a believer, and you want to be a person who is on the path of seeking the pleasure of Allah, who is purifying your knifes who is purifying your intentions, who is diligently trying to follow and
stay firm upon the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, guess who your friends need to be? Your friends need to be similar people, it doesn't mean necessarily, that there are other people who are necessarily want bad for you. It's just, they're not going to help you reach your goal and objective, if they're not thinking like you, and they're not like you. It's simple brothers and sisters, if your friends are a bunch of people who are partygoers who are, you know, not doesn't matter, whatever. If you want to be upon the Serato, Mr. Kean, and you're spending all your time with entrepreneurs who all they care about is fast cars and jets and whatever, how religious you're
going to be? How firmly do you think you're going to be upon the deen of Allah? subhanaw taala. If those people they are saying they have no religion, they have no de. Right. Think about it.
It's not something that you know, it's not something strange. It's not something weird. It's not something divisive. It's just a fact about how you accomplish your goals, how you are able to accomplish your goals. That's just a fact of life. Right? Let alone what sort of fool and what sort of misguided miscreant would you be, if you are half spending your time and with people who are openly trying to fight you and fight your way and oppose you and destroy you and destroy the path that you're upon? So brothers and sisters, listen, let me just remind you, let me just read these excuse me, I'm gonna be if I'm looking down and you know, forgive me, let me just read these verses.
Right. Let us read this verses from the translation of the Quran. Yeah.
And this is from surah monta Hana. Yeah. Let me just read the English translation. Yeah. Oh, you who believe do not take my enemies and yours as your allies, showing them friendship when they have rejected the truth you have received and have driven you and the messenger out simply because you believe in Allah your Lord, not if you truly emigrated in order to strive for my cause, and seek My Good Pleasure. You secretly show them friendship. I know all you conceal and reveal, but any of you who do this are straying from the right path.
If they gain the upper hand over you, they will revert to being your enemies and stretch out their hands and tongues to harm you. It is their dearest wish, that you may renounce your faith. Neither your king's folk nor your children will be of any use to you on the Day of Resurrection, He will separate you out. Allah sees everything you do. You have a good example in Abraham and his companions when they said to their people, we disown you and what you worship besides God,
we renounce you until you believe in Allah Alone. The enmity and hatred that has arisen between us will endure except when Abraham said to his father, I will pray for forgiveness for you, though I cannot protect you from God. Lord, we have put our trust in you. We turn to you, you are our final destination. Lord, do not expose us to mistreatment at the hands of the disbelievers. Forgive us, our Lord, You are Almighty and wise. Truly, they are a good example for you to follow. A good example for those who fear God and the Last Day. If anyone turns away remember, God is self sufficient and worthy of all praise. God may still bring about affection between you and your
present enemies. Allah is all powerful. Allah is Most Forgiving and Merciful. And he does not forbid you to deal kindly and justly with anyone who has not fought you for your faith or driven you out of your homes. Go
God loves the just. But God forbids you to take as allies, those who have fought against you for your faith, driven you out of your homes and helped others to drive you out. Any of you who take them as allies will truly be wrong doers. So this is just
a few verses, there are many, many more verses, similar verses in the Quran. Of course, I'm not reading the Arabic I am reading a translation which by its nature is an interpretation. It is not the exact meaning. And of course, one of the things that straight away one might point out is the difference between what is often used in English translation as friend, which really is a very broad term, and the term that is used in Arabic, which is earlier but I think, which is more like an ally. Yeah. Alia means more like an ally and a protector.
However, the input is clear, the general input is clear is how are you taking as someone close to you, seeking closeness with them seeking to be close to them, people who have actually fought against you, they've driven you, out of their homes, they want you to disbelieve in Allah, they want you to leave his religion. They have separated you from your homes, they continue to fight you they support those people who are fighting you. How do you take people like that, as your allies, and your friends and your advisors on your confidence, confidence that people you seek confidence and advice from? It's crazy. Like in any other realm, in any other sphere of human activity. No one
would agree that taking someone who totally opposes your aims and objectives in life
is a good idea. Everyone would agree that's a terrible idea. And everyone who knows anything will agree that it is a surefire way for you not to accomplish your goals and not to reach your objectives. Because you are the basic, basically, you're the sum total of the people you spend most of your time with.
And that's really it. Brothers and sisters,
I want you to take a good look
at the people you spend most of your time with.
And maybe not just the people,
the things that you read, the books that you read, the things that are influencing your thought process,
the images that you are looking at
the sounds that you are listening to.
What is most of your conversation about what is most of your time spent thinking about?
Ask yourself those questions, brothers and sisters, take an analysis. Think about these things. Because this really truly is one of the most important dimensions of your journey, your journey
to adventure, your journey to self mastery your journey to really be the best that you can be. You have to be very, very clear about that brothers and sisters and you have to be ready to jettison everything that opposes it and everything that stands in the way of it. It's that simple. And yes, sometimes that is can be sad. Sometimes that can be discomforting, sometimes
it can cause some people some suffering. But as Allah says, you know, maybe it will be that you know, those people, that Allah will bring love between you and them. And you know what brothers and sisters, let me tell you something, there's nothing like a success story. When you make it. When you achieve your goal when you reach your destination. When you become that person that you really know that you need to become, you'll see that people will treat you very, very differently, just like they did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when the Prophet ultimately was successful, when ultimately his mission was successful, and I don't mean only in a spiritual sense, but in a
materialistic sense. Then what did you see? You saw the people flocking to the religion in crowds because people love a success story brothers and sisters, and many of those people who are enemies became close friends and they loved Islam and
They love the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam. But it's up to you, brothers and sisters to decide what path you want to be upon. It's up to you to decide
where your journey is going to end up. It's up to you to decide where you want to go and how you want to reach that destination. But you know, you're not going to get there by wishful thinking, you're not going to reach that destination by just wishing for it and hoping for it. It's an adventure. It's a trial. It's a difficulty it's full of. And this is definitely without doubt, one of the hardest things
is really just beginning to realize I'm beginning to know who your real friends are. And like I said,
even more dangerous when there are people who
dress in the dress, speak the language, talk, the talk, walk, the walk, I mean, in all ways and shapes and forms, it seems to be that they're on your side. But they just want to stab you in the back.
That's really what you have to watch out for possibly more than anything else. And they're the most dangerous of enemies. But that's all part of learning. That's all part of the adventure. That's all part of.
We have what we have to go through in order to reach that destination and it makes us you know, it makes us wiser it makes us better. It makes us more discerning. But it's essential brothers and sisters is what we have to go through. There's no point ignoring it. There's no point hope wishing it away. You just have to face it and realize that that's just part of
the journey of life. Well, brothers and sisters, I hope you benefited from this until next time as salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wa about a cat