Iman Cave – Masculinity Through AllahS Names

The invitation card would say 7pm. And we'd be getting ready

for you to be getting ready at 1030 Oh, are we out the door at 11 West Africa is to run a lot of times we go through the most difficult circumstances and we do it alone. Number one, because we don't volunteer information and number two, because we don't have a culture of checking in on each other, right? And then in a deeper way, years later, we were talking past and he was like, man, and I remember when my father died, only one person called me, only one person called me and he wasn't taking a shot at me. He was just saying it personally. And I was like, Yeah, I was praying the ones that didn't call. The second level of humility is to accept as brothers, whom Allah accepted as

servants of his Allah accepted these people to be His servants. You won't accept them to be your brother, who are you? Who are you?

Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh in the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you all. I'm Jill O'Donnell and welcome to The Man Cave where we discuss issues of male excellence while being grounded in faith. You know, there's something called a to se being to be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with to SCBs my Allah, to us he is what you would know as being an exemplar or someone that is trying their best to act out a particular characteristic. One particular talking about the names and attributes of Allah some of the scholars talk about a city estimating, living out the names that Allah subhanaw taala calls himself now, when we're talking about the creation of human beings,

they're not like Allah with the lead method with Allah, Allah has a much greater example. But when it comes to certain characteristics that Allah subhanaw taala names such as mercy, such as being kind, is it important for a man to have these characteristics is it important for you young men, to take care and be diligent and embodying these characteristics? Look no further today we have our beautiful guests mashallah to Baddeck Allah to talk about how these names of Allah subhanho wa Taala how it is important for the young man, the male, to have these names and attributes of Allah and his mind when he wants to live forth and embody some of these beautiful characteristics. We got my man

Murad our mashallah entrepreneur and the youth enthusiast of the decade or seller may Allah bless him hamdulillah Murad has mashallah old time old school here Mashallah.

Marshall curry mashallah look out for his names and attributes series that he will have have coming out in Sharla with you again and outside of that, mashallah to Batticaloa and also look out for his spoken word. Mashallah, do you have any books out in the unspoken word? Yes, I do have a poetry collection called what the pen wrote that's available online, they can get it at Amazon. My shout out to my article on my show. It's a very Hello. So what made you get into spoken word? It's in the watershed in the air isn't the water Hey, I mean, I grew up in New York. I've known Jeff Morris for a very long time. The New York New Jersey connection Hamdulillah. And over there, you just grow up.

It's just you know, it's just, it's in the air. It's in that atmosphere. The city of the birthplace of hip hop, as they call it, so it's just over there. No doubt UK you said, the East Coast and hip hop actually the guys that call me to Islam, I used to battle them before I became a Muslim used to battle each other and hip Iseman. You know, you have somebody who had

never leaves. You know, my father was a musician. So as far as the word play, that's something that's just that never leaves. But what made you get into before that? How did you grow up? So hold on a second when you say that they brought you into what was it like the loser has to join my religion like that? You lost some bars

some something like that. I mean, we used to battle a lot. And then they used to say certain things in their rhymes and obviously we listened to the guys back in the day as the biggie NAS exhibit all those so was one day I was just sitting with them at a certain occasion come to LA and I just asked him about Islam. I said, they said, it's all they said, the name of Allah. So I'm thinking, you know, the Nation of Islam or something like this. So then one of them said, it's in the hands of Allah, and I said, uh, we may hands of Allah because I asked him about the Illuminati. You know, back in the late 90s, we believed in like, the Illuminati and you know, that 1000 We didn't

like the year 2000. Year 2000 Luminize gonna come Big Brother plan, you know, so one of them said, it's all in the hands of Allah. And that's where it just took off, asked him about Islam, and you know, they're from Brooklyn. And then they started talking about Islam, and it just resonated so easily. But hamdulillah but you being there, at that time, how was it growing up for you? So you're originally from Sudan? Yes, sir. So, you were born in Sudan.

I'm from Sudan. I lived most of my life outside of for years that I did in Sudan. Fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade I did in Sudan. You didn't see. Before that I was in New York. And after that I was in New York, New York. Okay. So how was it growing up as a middle school? It's a high schooler in New York. I mean, when you're looking back at your childhood, it's always with rose colored glasses, right? You always enjoyed it, loved it. Pizza was $1. A slice was incredible. You know? I mean, it was just, it was a very, very, I mean, for us, it was just exciting. You

played basketball after school. Soccer on the weekends in his community was very, very tight knit felt like it was barbecues every weekend. Really? Yeah. Big swings community was queens and Queens. Yeah. Okay. It was a very tight knit, you know, that type of immigrant experience. We're all living in the country together. And so social life was incredible. Like now that I've reached the age of my parents when they were, you know, when I was a kid, I'm impressed at the energy that they had. Weddings, Sudanese weddings, for example, used to, we used to have a, I always tell people, we used to have a hall that was owned by Sue Danny, you know, one of our uncle's, had to share have a Lola

used to have a wedding hall in the Bronx. And so the invitation card would say 7pm. And we'd be getting ready

for getting ready, at 1030 Oh, are we out the door at 11 West Africans to bride and groom would show up at midnight alone, you get to the hall, there's nobody there except for the white friends, the writing.

There, the only ones are there at seven o'clock. Everybody else was showing up at midnight. I did not know until I got to college that it was not normal to pray for budget at the wedding hall. Before going home. Many memories, memory memory, my dad and I'm driving home, the sun is out at 730 We're all in the car. I went home after a wedding. So it was just and and that energy was just that was constant, my parents their 40s, their 50s their 60s, that level of just socialization and presence. And now when we're talking about, you know, masculinity, I think one of the things that we're missing out a lot on is just that type of socialization, that friendship, that sense of

community, especially as guys get older into their 30s and 40s and 50s they start to have less than less friends. And they have less and less camaraderie. Yeah, no, you're exactly right. I mean Subhanallah you know, just and that's why this is important. You know, having a place where men can just gather and talk about male issue any clan cave, any man cave right and increase their Eman because ultimately, we're going to talk you know, kind of delve into that because what's the connection? You mentioned hip hop was did that have some kind of effect on you getting into spoken word? I just you know, I don't let things slide show and use that you know, we listened to he's not

said he said Biggie and NAS and then he slipped in exhibit and I was like what

and those guys are considered to be some of the best whoever did it I think he just kind of slug in exhibit some guy from the West Coast who's not on that level. Take a shot so it was it was one of them. I don't know we don't recognize

clearly, a model we met in mustard to heat in Jersey City. And for a while I know Ahmad as somebody from Jersey because I'm from Paterson. Okay. And Paris and we're like our own clique. It was their own world. Yeah, we're in our own world in Paterson and Jersey City was their own world too. So when I got to me, I'm not I'm like, Oh man, I thought he was from Jersey City until I found out he commuted from Queens. Like man, you paid all that toll and transportation, everything. Why you come in here and he's like yo, Chef chef for that and I learned

I started to study with with the chef as well. So let's just read and mashallah, you know, he was kind of a mod to be you know, I think as are you talking about me right now, you're talking about the chef.

I was like, What do you know, we love the bossa

nova Hamdulillah. We're together and Amar had a nice group of Shabaab city around them. He's one of the earliest youth workers

that I like knew somebody that dedicated their time and energy and effort and like put it in like these kids. You still know them till today. I mean, now those guys were my friends. Yeah, you know, I mean, he does youth work don't let

I don't like you. That's my secret.

He was doing some kinds of

So

putting your skill of the DS, I just want to take the time out to really mention something because right now you're from Philistine, Salton Yanni originally for first thing. And you're from Sudan right now we know that right now currently, there is a lot of challenges for it to say the least, of what's going on with our brothers and sisters in Palestine, and in Sudan. And a lot of times people don't realize that there's civil war in Sudan going on right now. And I think it's important for us as males, even, you know, to take time out to make dua for our brothers and sisters in Palestine, our brothers and sisters in Sudan, and in China, different parts of the world. And it's okay to be

vulnerable guys, literally to be vulnerable for Allah subhanho wa taala. We're going to talk about his beautiful names and attributes. But for you to voluntarily be vulnerable to call out to him with his beautiful name such as Seneca for the offer, giving away the one that is ultimately strong, and to ask them as beautiful names and attributes for a man to be emotionally vulnerable and to call out to Him and that is a sign of strong masculinity as well because he knows how to direct his vulnerability in a way that is conducive for him. Just want to take that time out. So take that time out to make dua for your brothers and sisters all around the world right now we have some from

Sudan, some Philistine as well as shallow as my last one to Allah place ease in the hearts of our brothers and sisters and mean and to increase them in their Eman for any trial or tribulation that is faced I mean, so with that being the case.

Sure, Kumar,

you have a series on the names and attributes of Allah subhanho wa Taala is going to be coming out. You've talked about it within McGraw Institute with the again there's shorts you've written the book on, you know, you have spoken word, it is you incorporate the knowledge of names and attributes and a lot within your spoken word. haven't done that yet.

I am just in awe, that's my thing. So the names of Allah series that are doing Ramadan, I've been doing shorts with the team, but I also have a an actual 30 Day series within Muslim Inshallah, let's add that will be coming up on Muslims YouTube channel Sharla. But I have a, a, I don't like to write poems unless it comes out. And I've been thinking about writing a poem about Allah subhanaw taala for a long time, but I've just been afraid to do it afraid of were in awe. Yeah. Like, it's beautiful man. I've had a poem about the province less than him, I remember. And it took me a while because every time I would write one, I wrote a letter to the province of them and I didn't listen,

I'd never felt like it was right until the right one came out. And when it came to a poem about Allah subhanaw taala, it's like, you just want to get it right. And so it just hasn't come yet shallow and data, could we say that that's a way of you being emotionally intelligent through your poems, because you find a lot of times it's not manly. To be emotional, like emotional is only a word that's used for women and for females. Right? And I was telling the group of, you know, brothers early today is like, No, when you say a woman is emotional, that's what Allah putting her to nurture. But as well, mineral processing, when Abraham died, he said, rarely the eyes shed tears

and that heart is sad. And, you know, and we are saddened by your departure, he was expressing himself. So do you find yourself able to, to let those emotions out through the pen? I'm probably less emotional of a person than than most. But the way that my emotions manifest is through the wording itself. I do right to the point of getting goosebumps. I do feel like art by its nature creates a huge emotional connection, that, you know, academics may not present for example, okay, and so through artistry, you do hope to create an emotional connection. But I don't I've never like sat down and like wept, for example, that a poem, but maybe the right poem? Well, I don't know.

Yeah. And weeping doesn't if you don't cry, doesn't mean that you're not, you know, emotional electric, not someone that has a spiritual intimate connection with the poem itself, what you're writing comes out differently. Yeah. Right. Like, just because a person doesn't cry doesn't mean, they're not exactly. I think men just express their emotions differently. Right. And that's important. That's important. Yeah. Like, only I think, by saying women are emotional men aren't you're kind of only giving credit to a certain type of emotion. Right and discrediting the man's emotion. Right, right. And that's happening a lot in society, even our emotional intelligence. Even

like, I feel like the definition of emotional intelligence, EQ and whatnot, is kind of limited. Right? To start out, there's aspects of EQ that men have a lot of. Right, right. Right. But it comes out differently, right? No, definitely not. And this is why it's important man. You know, it's important for men and women, you know, but for men, particularly to have a place where they can come together. You know, I was just at a, like a retreat. We went out far off in like Oklahoma, and we got like a house and there's about like, maybe 15 Brothers, with their younger sons.

And brothers opened up, it was really important for them to be around each other and just to talk men, you know, just to walk off in nature. And just to talk, because you'll find that throughout the monotony of life you're working, you know, you're busy. You know, I'm brothers telling me, you know, when I'm at home, I just don't feel appreciated. You know, I'm the provider and a protector, but I just don't feel appreciated. But I feel that I'm able to talk to you guys, because it's just that energy. And I think that it's needed, you know, like you mentioned, different ways of expressing emotions, they may not even realize it themselves, that I was feeling this until I got around a

group of guys that feel the same way that I do. I also think that

we don't do enough of a job a good job, at least of like, actually asking deeper questions about each other. So for example, I've had a number of my friends now get divorced. Okay, number of them. Yeah. And every single one of them, has mentioned that while getting divorced, they went through incredible darkness. And they went through incredible loneliness. Incredible. And so I remember I had one friend of mine, who got divorced. And it was one of those things where he didn't bring it up. I didn't really ask, you know what I mean? Like, it was just, he didn't volunteer. And I didn't volunteer to exactly go out yet. So that's how it went. So then I had actually went on a on a on a

ombre trip, one of our, you know, she

she plug, blessed voyage, I'm gonna trips, blessings voyage. I'm actually going on tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'm going so but I had went on one year ago, and one of the sessions the sisters asked, they said, Could we, you know, sit with you for a session and I sat. And it was really didn't them just opening up about divorces and things like that. And they were supporting each other. And I was just listening.

But it really made me think like, man, like stuff is difficult. So I remember when I when I, when I left that session, I sent a message to that friend of mine. And I said to him, Listen, bro, I just want to let you know that I know that you you know, we never really talked about your divorce. And I didn't really appreciate how difficult it might have been for you. And I just want to apologize to you for not asking and checking in on you. And so a couple days later, like he didn't respond right away. And I'm like, oh, man, like, you know, I use it. Yeah, you know, it is a Libra, man. So I didn't hear back from him for a couple of days. And then he sent me a voice note back and he said,

Listen, I'm a very well known guy in my city. Very, you know, I like to think I'm very outgoing. I'm an extrovert. Everybody knows me. And in his city, everybody knows him. And everybody loves him. Okay? He said, the amount of people who asked me about my divorce,

were two.

And the amount of people who apologize for not being present in my divorce, were two and you're one of them. So that's it. He said, that's, that's everybody who asked me about my divorce. And so for guys, a lot of times we go through the most difficult circumstances, and we do it alone. Number one, because we don't volunteer information. And number two, because we don't have a culture of checking in on each other. Right. And in a deeper way. They're volunteering information is vulnerable, you know, being vulnerable and trusting your brother, you know what I'm saying? And that's, that's so, so important. I mean, it's interesting to mention that because I'll share something that happened

with me, I remember a friend of mine, his father passed away, you know, and I remember saying to myself, Well, man, if it was me, I wouldn't want anyone to call me you know, so I've just, I just, I know, he probably doesn't want anyone to call him. That was being irresponsible, to be honest, and not taking that leap. Like you said, he didn't text back because you maybe probably got offended. I don't want him in my business. You know, with me, we don't want people in our business. We're kind of guys are kind of at least some are very protective of that type of, you know, the family life. So we don't ask each other about family. You don't ask about the wife. We don't ask about that stuff,

just to kind of leave it alone. They don't leave it alone. Exactly. I remember years later, with his brother that I didn't call. years later, we were talking past and he was like, Man, I remember when my father died and only one person called me. Only one person called me and he wasn't taking a shot at me. He was just saying it passively. And I was like, Yeah, I was for the ones that didn't call.

You know what I mean? And I said, for some type of expiation later, I told him, it was hard, man, it was hard. I want him to I said, Brother, man, listen, I'm sorry, man. He was like what? You said this about a year ago. You said this a while ago, and I didn't call you. I was gonna call you but I didn't apologize for that bro. And he was like, Sorry, man, you know, and I felt like this

This also went to the brother that called him. I see you know that brothers, so thankful man that you call the parent even realize it. And you realize you're the only one that called him.

I see him a little gesture, your mama Chava has a verse a poetry race. So the only Sandfire Yama books in Caribbean when I do infill trc. He says a friend that doesn't benefit on a day of difficulty is closer to an enemy when compared. Like if you don't benefit me, on my hardest days, the day that I lose my father, the day that I go through an enemy is not going to be there for me. And if you're not there for me, then you're closer to an enemy than you are to a friend of me. You're not there. And I think specifically about death. You know, I had a friend of mine, an older brother, once who told me he said, something that my father told me is two scenarios where you need

to be there for people is a thorough weddings, and funerals. You need to be there in weddings and funerals, you need to show up. Now for a lot of people the funeral part, they don't know what to say. And they're afraid of saying the wrong thing. If you don't know what to say, number one, people aren't even going to remember what you said most likely, because it's so overwhelming. But they will remember who's there, they will remember that person who was there only. For one I remember when my father in law passed away. I don't remember what most people said. But I have very clear memory of who checks you know, send a text message I have a very long because it was such an emotional and

intense experience. Like everything gets registered. But then number two, which is very important is if you don't know what to say. Just say what the prophet taught you to say. Let's just say in the law and just say the Lima Hello dilemma, just Google things to say.

And if all you say is what the Prophet has said, I'm taught you just think that you don't need to say something flowery. You don't need to save this person's pain.

Yeah, just say what the prophet but just be there. Yeah. D That's a beautiful, beautiful moment, by the way, is why she talks about when she went through the sadness of the slander against her.

And what did she say? She said, there was a woman from the onslaught. Who came in and she sat down next to me, and she just cried with me. So that's all she did. Right? So just that idea of being present with people in prison. Yeah, yeah. So Pamela, amazing, amazing, amazing. It really, really appreciate that, you know, but you know, what happens? Sometimes men put very macho type of barrier, you know, like, Oh, I'm too strong for that. Like, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. But deep down, they're not good. And a good man. Right? Deep down, they're not good. And I think it takes, like so many so many guys who have been going through hardships and whatnot. Like, I would go

and I would like take him to the side. Talk to them alone. You know, I'm there, man. You can open up bro like what's going on? Like, I know, you feel sad. I know there's something and will lie. If he they would open up and go by cry like like the kids, he's likely to see that. They just need to feel like man I can. I can actually vent their safety. We feel safe, safe. It's safe. And I think that safety is really what it's more difficult for a man to find than a woman to find. Yeah. But you know why? It's because we also have like, even as you guys were saying Safe, safe, safe. Like my upbringing is like man, sounding softer than Charmin right now.

What I signed on, you brought me to the mancave. So we could talk about

3345.

Man case, but that's the that's the that's the upbringing. That's the that's, that's that barrier. Right? And you're talking about? No, and that's the, you know, when we talk about rites of passage, right? It's like, what are those things that killing the boy and bringing life to the man but bringing life to the productive men, particularly in this situation in the man cave with the man? What is it that is that transition you from a boy, a Muslim boy, someone that heard about Allah and heard about his names and attributes, the transition to being a man that's intentional, with the knowledge of these names and attributes with Allah subhanaw taala. And his beautiful names, right?

If we can just mention some of those beautiful names, and how that matters in the life of a man. Right to where when he knows those names, or and tries to embody those names. It solidifies his masculinity. So many, so many, so many, you know, like you mentioned, scholars have a beautiful statement. They say it's a HELOC, or a HELOC in law. adorn yourself with the characteristics of God. So now there are it's very interesting, because when I was teaching this course, or when I'm teaching this course, you have to mention like you mentioned at the beginning, that there are some names that are not befitting. They're only for Allah subhanaw taala. And then there are some names,

which are the majority of them is that there is a human manifestation and if not pay him he mentioned that Allah subhanaw taala loves for these manifestations.

Allah is Knowledgeable, he loves the knowledgeable. Allah subhana data is merciful. He loves the Merciful. Allah is strong. He loves the strong believer, ALLAH SubhanA data even loves the shine, you just go through it. I mean, there's a long list of names that we can go through.

It's a beautiful exercise for a person to go through the names of Allah and see, how do I manifest this name? How do I show mercy for example. But as far as masculinity goes, we could literally go through most of these names even with masculinity too. But if I could just share maybe one or two, just one more, maybe three. Number one is like Katie, and the loss of Hannah Dallas, the generous, generous, okay, he's the generous and this is really, really important and shut up. So I'm sure you can comment on this as well. That when you're talking about why did why did the you know the name column actually doesn't mean generosity. Cut off means perfection. So when Allah calls himself at

Katie, it means that he's calling himself the perfect okay, when ALLAH SubhanA data calls them Quran Katie, my man once came up to me and he said, What how is the Quran generous? So what do you mean Allah subhana data calls the Quran, Kadeem? I said no, the Quran means or carry means perfect. It's the perfect book. It's the perfect Quran. So then how did

cut off become meaning generosity when it really means perfection? Why did it become Why did generosity become the dominant definition of cut off? It is because the Arabs looked and they said which trait makes a person look perfect? And then he said his generosity for some therapists. They said there is a high Imam Shafi, he says, either he says either Catholic or ebook, Phil Valaya was sort of like a according to how they thought a certain bizarre, but you know your article Laban can Mattila Soeharto so he says if you're I translated by the way in my book a lot of Yama Chavez poems that's why he's throwing me at you

he's being kidding.

So shall he says if your mistakes are many amongst the folk and you wish to make for those mistakes, a cloak can conceal them in benevolence. It conceal them in generosity as hence every mistake can be covered, as I said, by benevolence, and so generosity can see us. A person will overlook a lot of mistakes from their parents if their parents are generous. Wife will look overlook a lot of mistakes from her husband and her husband is generous. Okay, well, hold on. Go ahead. I'm gonna play I'm not gonna play devil's advocate. You're gonna play an Angels. I'm gonna play an Angels advocate.

Husband provides for his family. Okay, pay by provider. Why are you what's wrong? I don't split but you don't spend time with us? I provide Hello some green? Yeah. What do we say for that? If someone so love languages? Uh huh. And which is The Five Love Languages right? You got five love languages. If I'm if my love language is quality time, and you don't give me quality time, I'm not receiving your communication of love. If my love language is acts of service, and you never helped me in anything, that I'm not understanding your language of love. So a lot of times you might be having miscommunication from that. So that generosity doesn't exactly have to be provision of money. It can

be generous in time, which is one of the little languages generous, generous, in words of affirmation to that person. Right. So it can be manifested in different ways. Miss Paula, you know, we talk about love languages. We talk about love languages, with with people with creation. What the What's the language Allah subhanaw taala. And how does Allah want to see our love for Him? Manifest? Allah says Colin contra de buena luffa Tebbe. only heard of him more like Exactly, yeah. And Allah says, If you love me, then follow if you love Allah that follow me follow the promises that Allah will love you. But indeed, like how can somebody

love someone they don't know.

You see how like a human like just the same way a wife wants to see generosity and her husband, her husband wants to see commitment or wants to see love, you know, that's what we see it. Right? So with the names of Allah subhanaw taala I think that's the only way we can develop this true love for Allah. And the only way like, there is no, there is no island that's more Sharif like that's more noble than this. Right out of all the scientists, all the room, everything that can possibly be spoken of. Because the island we look at the Hyatt, right, we look at the end, end goal, the end result, but if Allah is the end result, getting to know Allah, then the fastest way to do that is

through knowing His names. Right? And, yeah, and it's beautiful because it's a man, you know, one of the things that human is he has to take risks, right? Because if he's going to be someone that's going to protect and provide to be a leader, he's going to have to take risks and through those risks come a lot of experiences. But I think with the knowledge of those names of Allah subhana wa Donna, so for example, if we could transition maybe out of his name he chose but Al Hakim

We just talked about what's going on husband Feldstein, what's going on Sudan, if someone doesn't have the knowledge of who al Hakim is and hikma wisdom, right, or someone that delegates a particular haccombe, right, got that fishy, that makes a particular ruling and has decided something, it's important for a man to understand that as well because he'll know how to go through that experience in a healthy way. Or if he made a mistake.

In that experience, he knows how to look back at it and say, you know, that was the brother of Allah, but how am I going to be particularly better in that particular situation? So when looking at, you know, these beautiful names such as such as we've talked about Korean generosity, so the man being generous by understanding the love language of his wife, of his mother of his children, which may be different, taking that in consideration, and not only looking at how he understands that love language, right, but looking at the love language of his of his family, and being generous and giving himself up in something he may not be used to. Yep, in that right. You know, it also we're

looking at hikma wisdom. So one of the names of names of Allah has been hacking, how can a man

look at this name of hacking, understand what it means? hikma that Allah knows what was what is in the hypotheticals? How can he apply this element of hikma in his life, and let that embody and exude manhood throughout and benefit his family and those around him? You know, show these

these names of Allah just open up so many so many beautiful, beautiful avenues. And

I want to just

I want to mention some of the names that have to do with power and strength.

And I want to take it in a really, really, really controversial direction if

there's a verse that's very, very, very, very well known, and it's very controversial. It's so controversial that you can just mention the number for 34 and people know what you're talking about. I knew I was gonna go there. Yeah, I went there before it's okay. Okay, okay. But I want to look through the names of Allah that he mentioned. So ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada. It's the famous verse where Allah Subhana Allah describes discord between the husband and wife and what is new shoot is, is a long discussion what it is, and there's a lot of discussion about what it is. But there is incredible, incredible tension in the family. And Allah Subhana Allah says, mentions three things.

Number one is a little one is to warn your spouse and tell her you know, this is completely unacceptable and this and this and this to this. And then the second is when you're 100 Maharajah separate your sleeping quarters again, the guy goes and sleeps on the couch, or he leaves the house indicating his incredible disapproval now, and then the third one is well variable one, and that's where all of the controversy lies and strike them. Does the Quran condone domestic violence, right? That's the controversy. But I want to move away from actually what this is. And I want to point to what the end of the verse is because everyone always focuses on this and no one ever goes to at the

end of the verses and what is the end of the verse? Allah subhana died ends it with his name's Allah says in a biocompatible ID him this idea that in Allah Kana ID and KB Allah, Allah Subhana Allah says that if they will be youth and do not seek power or authority over them, dominance over them doublewide ASAP Allah in Allah Karna Li and can be a lot Verily Allah is High and KB look at Beauty means great. I II do not be diluted, oh husband by the fact that you are stronger than her are bigger than her Allah is bigger than you. And this invokes in a person Taqwa. You know, when you're studying domestic violence in the US, for example, it takes on average a woman 18 years to get out

of a domestic abusive relationship 18 years. And that's with all of the campaign's that's with all of the hotlines, that's with all of the support. So when you think about when the Quran is addressing all of humanity for all time, what is the greatest single mechanism that can protect a person who is vulnerable, and what is the single greatest thing that can stop a person from abusing their power and that is truly the Taqwa of Allah Subhana Allah data, that a person realizes that if I am bigger than this person, Allah is bigger than me, and I'm I'm stronger than this person, Allah Subhana Allah is stronger than me. And so a person who knows that Allah subhanaw taala is truly that

disease. Allah is truly the COVID Allah is truly the strong Allah is truly the overpower ALLAH SubhanA Dada is truly the the large and the great and he is the Hi

I am going to make sure that I'm not diluted by my power Allah is more powerful than me. And that keeps a person in check if you're Allah Subhana Allah no doubt about it and that's why it's so beautiful man because you know with a man you know, you think that the strength in this honor is something that is tangible and only of this life but what's important for the Muslim man in response to you know, the all these pills was red pill, blue pill, you know, Alpha Sigma, whatever. It says why

Well, I'm wearing red and he's wearing

a blue pill now No, I don't even know which one is.

So it's.

So it's really important that the man lives a life of purpose, but its purpose is when millennials or Gen Z and I have not lost this. I'm not quitting the gentleman except that they worship me that everything that the man does, even though he's strong, he knows that their strength is that how level accords there's no tomorrow or might accept from a last point I'll go away. Right? But it's interesting in this verse as well, even as you mentioned, the end of it, the beginning of which a lot of menus to abuse or reach out to go, Oh, Moon Island, Nisa, right, that men are the overpowers a woman has somewhat translated, or protectors and providers to a woman right. But one thing I'd

like to mention on this is before you to quote unquote him and to Coonrod, you learn that you have to be a man really embody masculinity and manhood. And when you truly embody masculinity and manhood you know, what I do in Kibera is to you know your limits. Therefore, you will not oppress or be tyrannical to the one that Allah has given you. The authority and protection and provision is still an agreement that you have with ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada it's a me Falcon Medela you know, it's an agreement that you have with Allah subhanho wa Taala by, you know, marrying this woman and being honored by marrying her you know, I'll never forget and I was passing over you might remember always

remember this because when I was a new Muslim in Houston, out to Houston is H town to the drought to the insolent drought

H town to light drought, but I'm not going down with the ship brother.

Brother

I remember this brother, man. I remember it my man Isa, he was uh, he was telling me that this his film was getting married. And at the father in law, was crying. And I'll never forget it. I was like, No, always Why is he crying? In a way? He's given a dog. He said, Man, the guardianship is being transferred. He's giving his daughter away.

Oh, man.

That's hard, man. That's hard. You know? It's tough Subhanallah until I had a daughter, I didn't know what that what that feeling is now you know, are you guys trying to depress me right now.

As a man, like, you know, what it took to reason to do therapy and this is that and then you don't know if this person is really that man with the moonwalk because you know, like a man is known in their stances.

When you set a regional goal, when when you have to be a man to be Colome, to be the maintainer, provider and whatnot.

How does a man know that there are men, when they demonstrate the self control and discipline of a man when the time comes? Right when they can control themselves when they can speak the right way. When they need to speak that way when they could stand up when they need to stand up when they need when they need sit down. They sit down when the man knows that their man they don't take advantage of their strength and power because they don't need these things to validate their manhood.

practice martial arts. Yeah, they're the guys who are calmest outside of the gym because they're, they have that security. But the guy who's insecure he's sitting there trying to showcase his masculinity and everybody's trying to flex on it. Definitely man that reminds him of Hadith, the well known Hadith, you know, the process when we said a laces should he do this surah he debunked a common, you know, sort of masculinity that the harsh one is not the one that can wrestle right in the machete doolally Yemeni kunafa. And another very the Harshman is the one that can control themselves in times of anger, Jihad enough. So even when it comes here, the struggle, let it going

through that struggle going through that pain, and that's a part of masculinity, no doubt about it. Because you had to go through that test and what you may understand, you know, I think Brother Mohammed or others, like so many people ask, How much do you bench and like, that's a sign of masculinity. I mean, it can be a sign of discipline. But does that mean you're a man because you're big, no, doesn't exactly necessitate that. The one that can control themselves like you, man, he knows when to sit down and be calm and not argue. He knows when to stand up and hold his position. Exactly. And that's where like, we start, that's where the names of Allah really start to manifest

like it Hakeem mentioned, the colors to know when to put because a Hickman is putting something in its right place to place. You know when to do this and when to do that, like, well, because somebody called Elon he was skinny and he would cry about Julian seIf yawning like he can even when he's talking like you could hear his voice break, and he's about to cry.

When he talks about very touchy things about Allah and about his now, what when the time came for, he would make a decision, right? This this skinny, pale, you know, man who would talk and he was as he was a man, he was the definition of what a man is right? He made his way. I mean, during the

day during the time of the prophesy centum stuff, every one is breaking down, and he was the only one that kept himself together.

Even

during that time and look, sit down.

Look at every bucket during the group during the wars of a leader, when all these people No, I think he's like, No, now's the time to be serious. And take it in. Right. So. So it's putting the things in the right place. That's what a man really is. And I think those the young generation that's growing up right now, like all the what the man is being painted as, right, or how the man is being portrayed, is really affecting and shaping their perception of themselves. Their perceptions of their role in society, their role in a relationship. They're all like, they got it all. all jumbled up now, right? You know, when a lot of Shabaab telling me like, Oh, my wife, or my, my sister is

disrespecting me.

I'm telling you, no. Does she see you worthy of respect? Oh, you know, I have a story about that. Let's have a look is she?

I was

the man on campus when I was in university, okay, the men, I graduate, I go from a situation where nobody goes anywhere, until I am consulted. And I say we're going to this restaurant. And then everybody goes to that restaurant, like I was the, you know, senior year I was that guy on camera, which don't worry about it, you're

the guy.

So then when I graduated, I had like that four months, five months last between graduation and starting to work. So then I go back home.

And I'm living all of a sudden now home. And I go from being the man on campus to being the unemployed dude at home, okay. And I've got older sisters, and I love my mom and my dad. And I'm like, I'm, I'm giving my opinions on campus. I was giving my opinions. And those opinions were very, very, very respected. And then I go home, and I'm telling my sisters, this is what I think and nobody cares. I'm telling my mom, this is what I think. And especially if I'm talking about halal and haram because I'm, I'm a, I'm a young, energetic, practicing Muslim. And I'm telling I'm trying to advise my parents that I'm trying to advise my sisters and all that nobody's paying me any

minute. And I start working.

And I start breaking off a little bit of money to my mom a little bit of money to my dad a little bit of money to my sisters. I'm just being generous to Bobo. I realized oh my goodness, they're starting to listen to me now. Yeah, before that, my opinion was worth nothing. And now with a little bit of support, my advice, same advice, but it was just much more respected. So when you say this idea of of being respected, it doesn't come in a vacuum. It comes when you are worthy. Yeah, I don't want to listen to that agenda when I just that'd be my fault bla bla bla bla, bla bla, what do you

mean I'm wide in Allah, Allah subhana data says men are maintainers or protectors of women or a woman however, we want to translate it because of what ALLAH SubhanA data gave a preference over one over the other and due to what they spend of their wealth, it doesn't just come with you sitting in your chair because you have a beer. Exactly. And that's why the in the other words were literally jolly alley in the Raja Raja and for men upon in the females is one level one level and scholars and that level is the level of provision and Falcon taking care of them, right doesn't mean that they're second class citizens or anything of that nature. But naturally, what Allah has given the man is

that responsibility of being someone that is ready to protect and provide, you know, and I always tell this to, to, to, to the young girls and to women as well as like, you realize it's an indirect message to the men and to the brothers. It's an indirect message to them, that you realize that your husband is willing to die for you. Like that is what he's there for, he's willing to put his life on the line for you. And there shouldn't be any second thought about that. So that kind of, you know, it paints the picture because you know, just in the monotony of life and things, you forget that this man that is my husband, he will take a bullet for me and for my for our children. That's the

man that is climb. You know, that's the one so when you looking at these beautiful names and attributes of Allah subhanho wa Taala being an OE al Aziz, how does the man have is within himself to where they will look at him as a man of Islam. See this, this these meanings that you're describing, I feel like are complete

In the last in our time and personnel, you know, I mean, the idea of taking a bullet for I mean, while

I agree with I think, number one lack of modeling, I think number two, lack of time being spent with men by young men, there's no, like, for me my think about I had so many uncles around me growing up, it wasn't all my dad. It was lots of conversations, lots of time being spent with people older than me, just older brother figures or uncle figures, or dad's friends or not my dad's friends, like my mom's younger brother, for example, you know, there's like a 1015 year gap, you notice thing, but, but if I'm 10, he's 25. And I'm learning a lot from listening to him. Yeah, I'm absolutely listening to him, of course. So these types of conversations, I remember, for example, just something very,

very simple. My sister, who was older than me, she had a, she had a car, I didn't have a car, this is New York, her having a car is a luxury to me, I'm riding the bus, right? But I had a license, and she had to go and take her car to the mechanic.

And so I'm talking to my uncle who didn't do that. And I already know what the answer is. But I've got, you know,

my say to him, my sister wants to take the car to a mechanic, and he goes to a mod a,

he goes, that's not that's not acceptable. Meaning it's not acceptable that your sister go to the mechanic shop, you need to take her car to the mechanic shop. And I feel like a lot of times these meanings are lost in this generation, where they'll let their sisters or their let sisters even in the community go and do these types of difficult things. These types of things that involve, for example, manual labor involved these types of they're just not,

you know, places where women would want to be, and we're letting them do that we're not really taking

we're not showing masculinity and assets. Yeah, that's social media has a, you know, it has

a large role to play in that. Right. And sometimes I'm you're looking at the trending videos and whatnot, especially for Muslims, a lot of these young foolish Shabaab that go prank people on the streets, and they go and do silly stuff. Imagine a child growing up with like, Oh, I could be older man, the beard and the land doing doing this foolish thing. You know, like, just going back and silly. Right? I think that's, that's pretty that's a big deal. It's a big deal. You know, like making sure like, that mold that doesn't go inside the head of the child at a young age, because if it does, I think it's detrimental. Like they see that. And seeing that a successful tool. Wow. Got

20 million followers, locomotor for acting silly. Yeah. Yeah. And it's really I think that puts a dent in their manhood at a young age. Oh, huge man. Because the reason is why, okay, you're spending a time time doing something that is borderline and if not haram, Frankie people, scaring people across them spoke about that. And then secondly, it's not just making the video, you have to go home and edit it.

Spending hours editing something that, in essence may not even be permissible to do. And then you know, thirdly, you're doing this to make money off of it thinking that the goal is the money. And it's not being honorable

dishonouring himself is dishonouring themselves and you're making money for it, which is another St. wive. Shape Finally, while the shape and style dilation done yeah, it's a thought is taking more authority or having some authority, authoritative influence on you by doing this thing, which is not even honorable, in essence for any auslin. So that, you know, I there was a survey, I think kids were asked, What do you want to be when you grow up? You know, number one is a YouTube, a YouTube star YouTube phenomenon, right? It's like, okay, fine, but is it doing? Is it in doing something that is commendable and honorable? Is it teaching people something that will help them be a better

person, a better Muslim, better man, a better woman to be someone that thinks about God when they do something if it's just a generic message? So definitely what you're talking about this social media is a beautiful statement, always remember this statement is a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention, wealth of information, you know, makes you so scattered. There's two things that I want to mention from this, you know, the idea of building

wanting to become a YouTuber.

So there's this book called Deep Work by Cal Newport and excellent, yeah. So it's a great book. And he talks about this idea of built doing things that require external validation versus doing things that in and of themselves give you validation. So for example, if I make a YouTube video, no matter how great that YouTube video is, I don't get

I'm satisfied until it reaches a certain amount of likes. And that's not under my control level. Right? I'm praying at the altar, the altar of algorithms. Basically, I'm hoping that's a bar. I just want to know. I know, that's no, no. Okay. Yeah, that was oh, yeah, I'm just, you know, it's not but the person who learned how to make this, right? They, they, they are satisfied. Because they see that it was done well, a person who puts together a car, the proof that it works is that the car starts, a person who puts together a light bulb, the approval of the light bulb is that light bulb turns on. So that's internal validation that a person receives by doing or learning a craft, as

opposed to what people are becoming dependent on, which is these types of external validations, which is very, very difficult, it's very hard to keep up with the you know, as do I'm gonna even add an add on to that the person that made this and this is why it makes so important to have a spiritual connection with Allah subhana wa, tada, therefore, a man or a woman, and particularly in this case, when a man wants to make something, for example, he made this and he found satisfaction, he found meaning. There's a book by Viktor Frankl called the Man's Search for Meaning, right? He found meaning and I was finding this, okay, I see what he's saying. But where's the connection of

spirituality with this, then it hit me as Okay, he finds meaning in making this. He finds the meaning of life, or the meaning in life by making this. But where's the connection with making this and with ALLAH, so he finds the validation in it, okay, I'm satisfied. But when he thinks about the one that gave me the faculties to do this, this is a way that I do sugar, because I'm making this and I'm serving humanity by so it has meaning in life by finding fulfillment of something he likes to do. But then there's the which coincides with the meaning of life, like my meaning of life, is worshiping Allah, how, by doing this thing that I like doing? And why do I like it? It's just what

Allah has given me. Yeah, it's what a lot the faculty that was giving it is, it is it's part of its are a part of this the cliff. Right? It's this the fluff, that Allah made us the Holy Father then contributing towards ensuring that Allah made us responsible for is is is it like, the bigger a contribution, the more you feel like you are grounded in this. And if you saw them, then this is what you made with your own hands. And the best list that a person has is that which they receive or with their own hands that which they earn with their own hands. That's it. There's a lot of beauty. The second thing that I was gonna mention was, you mentioned the number of times the word honorable.

So I think it's beautiful that we talk about the source of honor, which is Allah subhanaw taala. I see it's beautiful. Allah Subhana Allah, Allah is Allah Aziz? Yes. So when a man is seeking honor, and and loves honor, you have to realize that ALLAH SubhanA dial is the source of honor. There you go. We live in a time and place right now where people are seeking honor through everything you have people seeking honor through different systems, you have people seeking honor through

being in the company of different people. I'll be honest with it, sometimes I'll go and visit for example, Muslim students right now, you know, thinking to myself, like honestly, if it wasn't for Islam, I would definitely not be in this.

Let me be honest,

because I remember, you know, sometimes people telling me like, I didn't go to msa because those kids were not cool. Okay, so there's a verse in Surah, Al Kahf, that we read. And Allah subhana Das is and you read it every week, if you're reading stuff every week, Allah Subhana Allah has this was big enough setter by Lynette or bombilla Daniella, she, Allah says, US Bill, us better means to have patience, to persevere to endure. Sometimes the Muslim community is not the most exciting community or sometimes the masjid that you're in isn't the most welcoming group of people but guess what? Allah tells you how Sobor you know there's a beautiful statement by Mr. Malhotra we in his Manasseh

site. It's beautiful in Nottingham explains in the medina psyche. It's amazing when he talks about humility, because this could be arrogance. I'm too good for the Muslim community. Mr. Malhotra he says and this is a bar he says.

The second level of humility is to accept as brothers whom Allah accepted as servants of his

Allah accepted these people to be His servants. You won't accept them to be your brother, my mind and tell you it's not a bar. Yeah, it's a bar. And who are you? Who are you? How could you not accept them to be your brother's when Allah accepted these people, whoever they are, Allah accepted them to be His servants out of everybody. So ALLAH SubhanA wa says was split enough sick endure the company of those who call upon Allah in the morning in the evening you need to and Elijah what I tried to iron and do not let your eyes go beyond them. Maybe you are cool enough where you can go into different cliques. Maybe you are cool enough where you can hang out with these people and that

ALLAH SubhanA dies

To redo Xena that has in dunya What do you mean? What the adornment of this world cool? Yeah, that's a different click. That's, that's more cloud that's more gonna get it, but endure the company of those who believe be in there. Allah is the source of honor. Those people are not the source of honor. That crew is not the source of honor. Allah Subhana. Allah is the source of honor and Islam. Allah made what he Lahaina is a little sooner he will even meaning Allah Subhana Allah says Allah is the source of honor. Islam becomes that source of honor when a person understands that that they can be like Osama museo Hakeem, a bit hazy. He says that he went into the marketplace, and he found this

beautiful cloak being sold. And it was owned by the EU Yes, and the king of Yemen, one of the kings of Yemen. So this is a royal cloak, he buys it and he gets it to Rasulullah sallallahu

and the province of the lysosome word on the member. And it was perfect, beautiful cloak on Rasul Allah Azza Salam it was deserving, Hakeem, you can tell is like, happy yeah. Then the Prophet Salam says, descends from the member. And he gives it as a gift to someone. Yeah, because the Prophet said, I was completely detached from the dunya beautiful book, thank you very much, then he gives it to Saddam Hussein. Now, instead of it being worn by the province, that limb, this cloak of, of a king is being worn by the son of a former slave. And Hakeem, to his surprise, sees Osama walking with it in the marketplace. So he goes in, he approaches him.

And what does Osama say?

When he's getting checked? Like how are you wearing the cloak of a king? Or sama says and he's like, maybe 15 or 16 years old at the time, maybe 17 He says

I'm better than him.

And my father is better than his father. And my mother is better than his mother. Why look? Men because they have me my man. Hey, man, I haven't is this email, I don't care if I don't have the resources, or the money that you guys are that I'm not that doesn't matter. I'm better than him. My dad is better than him. My mom is better than that. It's not. So that says that source from ALLAH SubhanA data source from Allah, His Messenger, this Deen that we have and if a person has that, then they can walk into any crowd. Because they have ALLAH SubhanA data hungry? I'm gonna let him know. And that's beautiful. And we we start with iman, and we end with the man because that's what makes

the man Hamdulillah. But I mean, and I think it's important for all of us as men, young men, older men, to always have that connection with Allah subhanho wa Taala because with that connection, that is the foundation and everything is couched within that as we talked about some of these beautiful names, being you know, honorable knowledge of all of these beautiful names, wisdom that we talked about. It's important for you as a man to know that your masculinity Allah subhanaw taala has given it to you as a male but making the choice to be a man is what is important for you. May Allah subhanaw taala bless all of you may Allah Subhana Allah bless you Sheikh Murad mashallah Sheikh

coming back, Omar, thanks for coming down. My pleasure, my shallow wisdom, your presence mashallah, may Allah subhanaw taala bless all of you and make you the man the best man that he's created to be on this earth just talking about Heriot Watt Samadhi kumara Missoula. He already gets it