Speak Good, Or Keep Silent – Al-Nawawi’s Forty Hadith 15 ,40
Channel: Abdulbary Yahya
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believes in Yama, that what does that mean? That means you believe that Allah subhanaw taala knows what you're doing, sees you, Allah subhanaw taala is the One who created you, who provided for you, but also why why is it that you say that which is good? Or be quiet because you know that everything that you say you're accountable for it. And so whoever believes in Allah, and the day of judgment, what's the
that's the day of judgment in which the day in which Allah subhanho wa Taala hold everything accountable. So here, the prophets of love, and he also said Montana, you know, Billa, whoever believes in Allah, that's a called a has a EULA to shop the Joomla, shell Thea has a conditional sentence. A conditional sentence means it's if you are this, then the then you should do that. In other words,
it's one of the conditions of what conditions of a believer of being believer that's what we mean by
something that is conditional. That means the characteristics of a believer, if you want to be a Muslim, you want to be someone whom Allah subhanho wa Taala loves loves you, fella called Hydra, let him say that which is good, which means what that means that if you have something good to say, then you say, Inshallah, if you don't have anything good to say, then you be quiet, and you don't say anything at all. And so this hadith, this hadith,
the purpose of the hadith is to the benefit from the hadith is to encourage us to say that which is good, it's not to encourage us this to be quiet, only, because some people they read this hadith, okay, I'm just gonna say anything about No, it's encouraged, encouraging you also to say that which is good for local hyaluron, that's let me say that which is good. If you have something good to say, and then say, then say it, or if you don't, then it's better for you to be quiet, which means that it's better for you, for those who believe in Allah Han and the Day of Judgment, that they should be quiet. And so finally, a whole hierarchy. So valuable in the Arabic language here for Leopold means
this is an order, let him say an order. This is an order from approval from the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam familiar with hive, and this is an order and when we say that something is an order, that means it's something that is either mandatory, or highly recommended, or highly recommended. And of course, there are some things that you say, of course, that's going to be haram. And that means the ruling is also connected to what is going to be said. So
as for what is good, right?
There are certain types of good, that is good words that are good in and of themselves. That means good, that those phrases, the words that you say are good, or good meaning what like for example, you say, when you remember our loss of habitat, when you remember Allah subhanaw taala, that bad itself is good. And of course, then there's also something that's the word itself may not be good in and of itself. But when said at the right time is good.
So sometimes there are certain things that are good in and of itself, like Subhan, Allah will hamdulillah the remembering Allah subhanaw taala SB, and also the recitation of the Quran. And
also enjoying that was good, which is good for bidding that which is evil. All of these words that we that are said, This is good and of themselves. So that means that this is praiseworthy, this is something that if you have the opportunity to do so, then you always say, and so there's always something good that you can say at any time. Like what, like, then you can always remember a lot of power that you can always remember a lot of that. So I believe it can be speaking the whole day long, and never be quiet. Because there's always good that he can always say she couldn't remember we said making linkups Al Hamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, those are all
phrases that are good in in, in, in and of themselves. And then there is also goodness that is not directly in and of itself good, but can be good, because of because if you say it, the result is good. And you say something, the result of that phrase, causes is something that is praiseworthy. So, like what, like I mentioned before, you know before, before and after the break
Hear, if you want if by by saying some of these words that you make somebody happy, you make somebody happy. So let's say for example, saying a word saying your, you know, I think that saying a word that for example, you say,
say saying, your teacher to your wife, you're, you're very, you're very beautiful, or you're, you're amazing. And you're the most beautiful person in the world, like some of these words that you're saying. They're saying to your wife, I mean, these are just regular words, and in them of themselves, do you get like, get a reward for saying, If I sit here, you're the most beautiful person in the world, you're the most beautiful person.
Some people might young, crazy.
Another selves, they have no meaning. I mean, it's not praiseworthy for you this to say them. But if you say to the right person at the right time, and if you make them happy, if you make someone happy as a result of those words, and even though those words are not true, right? Even if you're telling your wife that it's not considered a lie, right, because anytime you exaggerate in praising your wife, even if it's not true, it's one of the three circumstances situations where you're allowed to lie. So it's okay, because you're gonna make her happy. So you're the most beautiful person in the world, even though you know that there are other women that are much more beautiful than she is,
So if you're thinking like that, and you're like, No, I can't say that, because you wouldn't be considered a lie. Would it be considered a lie? No, it's not. And you're exaggerating and praising her. Even if she knows you're lying. Even when she knows your life, she'll still be happy. So making your wife happy or saying something that makes other people happy? The words themselves when said in the right time in the right place to the right people, then that's something that's also good. That's something that's also good. Well, Kelly Matata, Eva, sadaqa, Kalama Eva, so that in Kalama, and words that are considered good, and that makes a person happy and so forth. Then that's, that's
pretty that's considered sad. And then of course, it's rewarding. It's rewarding because it's praiseful. It's pleasing to Allah subhana wa, tada. So anytime you say something that's pleasing to Allah, then in sha Allah, you will be rewarded by Allah subhanho wa taala. For those words, or how the Yes, not only asthma means to be quiet, that can be quiet. So if he doesn't have anything good to say, then be quiet. Why? Because when a person reports and speaks too much, you know, most most of the time, we regret the things that we say,
if you're quiet, rarely, the only a few circumstances Do you regret not saying something. But most of the time, most people they wish that they didn't say some words, they didn't say some things. And so that's why, before you speak, the first thing you should do is, number one, is this pleasing to Allah?
If it's pleasing to Allah, go ahead and say, number two, is this, you know, if you know, even if it's not pleasing in and of itself, is a result of this word, that you're saying pleasing to ALLAH SubhanA. Allah, the result of the words that you're saying, Is it pleasing to Allah subhanho wa taala. And if it is, then go for it. If the result is the word that sounds just like, it's, there's no, there's no benefit in it, then don't say it. In other words, before you speak.
Before you speak, it's always important to think about it. And nowadays, and what do you what do I mean by think about it?
Make sure that on the Day of Judgment, the words that you say, you can defend it on the Day of Judgment. That was the last panel that I'll ask you about? You have an answer for it. Like why did you say these words?
Why did you say them? And even your actions if you're going to do something? If Allah asked you about this, because he will ask you but Miguel, Miguel Philomena, oh Illa de Hiraki winner, and he does not add an utterance except that rocky when it will write it down, I mean, record it. And so
I will leave us with all let him be quiet. And if it's of course it's haram and you stay away from it and don't, don't say it. And women can a human asset value cream Jarrah, whosoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment, then let him be
hospitable let him Let him honor his guests. Let him honor his son, his neighbor, Jarrah, his neighbor. So what is Jar Jar is your neighbor, that the person that lives next to you and live lives close to you. And then, of course,
whether they are close to you, in your neighborhood, where you live, or even if they're close to you in your workplace, because sometimes you have a, you have a shop, like some people have shops, and this this is their workplace, they don't live in this workplace, but they have their neighbors. And so that also encompasses neighbors in your work area, your workplace, neighbors in your, you know, your shop, or wherever it is that you're working, and encompasses also neighbors that are your that they live close to you like whoever you're always close to. They're the ones who are your neighbors, and the closer you are, then the greater the right that they have upon you, the closer you are to
them, then and the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, value cream, Jarrah for Ukraine, Jara, when he says, then let him
show a crumb, what's a crab? A crab? means let him respect and honor his guests.
And notice that the prophets of Allah some did not specify what this is
that he mentioned, specifically, what that is a specific action. It's general, why is it general, because there are things that you do that are considered respectful. In some cultures, and in some cultures, it's not considered respectful. Right. And so and sometimes, because of the person's
status, when the person sometimes you have a wealthy person next to you. And sometimes you have a very poor person next to you.
Showing a crumb meaning respecting and honoring your guests is different when they are rich. And when they're poor. It's also different. Right? And depending on who your neighbors are, no, they're Muslims, it's a little bit different, and they're non Muslims, is different. So that's why this is general, when we have something that's generalized, then we consider that which is respectful to be respectful in terms of what is acceptable in the, in the culture, without any transgression of the limits of Allah subhanaw taala rules of the account. So what I mean by that,
Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions often, like, well, I shouldn't have been the roof and treat them with kindness with my roof. But what is that matter of
that my roof is different? For everybody, like you have a wife, that's different, when she lives in a different country. Meaning that different kind about you, if you live like for example, if you were to live in,
you know, in Somalia, if you live in Somalia, and you work in America, and you have and you go back once in a while, right? And so you have a little bit of money, and so more than most people around you. And so your wife says, you know, honey, I'm really you know, it's really tiring doing the chores. Can you
Can Can you Can we hire a maid to help us out in the household? Take care of the kids, so I can focus on teaching them Quran, like, you know, do the dishes, and when eaten cooking, can we do that? Can you get somebody like that? To help me out? Would that be okay?
Yeah, it will be okay. Right. And then there are some cultures, some cultures, it's a little bit different than like if she were if your wife here lives in America with you? Right? And she wants the same thing.
But what do you say to her? Yeah, I love it. How are you gonna pay? How do you how much you're gonna pay them to come to clean your house? To do the laundry? In Somalia? If you give them $200 Would they come to your house?
Very less than that, right? They come to your house and they'll clean your house. And it's nothing for you. Like you can make that in a day. Right? Unless you can make that a day shot. Let's not let's not a lot. So if she's asking for that, so that she can focus on something else. More
or beneficial for your children, then it's her, her request is acceptable. Right? But if you're struggling where he or she wants the same thing.
Like, that's not my rule here.
I have too high, I'm gonna find somebody else. If you're not doing the dishes, I had to give somebody the dishes and clean the house, do the laundry. It's like that. I mean, I have to go to work all day, and then I, and then you're not doing it, you want me to get somewhere else to do it for you? Awesome. No, that's not gonna work. Because he's that person is gonna take half of my salary. Right? Take half my salary. So sometimes you might have a wealthy businessman, or you have a queen, by the king. Is it? Can the king say? No, do all the dishes and take care of Mike No, she? She says, now I need somebody to help me.
Will it be okay for her to ask? Yeah. Would it be my role? Is he treating her? Okay? If he doesn't, if, let's say, if if he? If he says no? You will? You have to do it yourself?
That would be that doesn't make sense. Like, why are you so greedy? You got up, we can easily take, hire people to do this. So I can do other things. Maybe some other things more beneficial. And so that request is acceptable. But that's why we can't say, you know, for example, if you get married, your wife has to do the dishes.
Does she have to? It depends.
In some cultures, yeah, maybe she has to. And that's why I know you know, there are some some some people like you, especially those who are the East and the West. And if you grew up here, if you grew up here, if your mother grew up in the East, in the lower like in Africa or in, in Asia, and your wife the way that your wife speaks to you, like honey, you're here saying the kids go change the diaper, right? That's in this society, maybe it's okay, it's acceptable, right? If your mother who's from the other, you know, maybe from the east sees your wife speaking to you like that, she might be very angry. I get a lot like my son, you marry somebody like that. And then she goes
and did you understand sometimes the treatment based on the culture is a little bit different. Sometimes in certain things are acceptable in some cultures. It's very, you know, it's a little bit different.
And some some things that are considered respectful is not or not is not respectful. Another culture. Like for example, if you are in America, and you sat at a table, okay? And you ate your eating, and then you burped.
Like you burped.
What would people can? How would people
How would people
consider whether they consider that
very, very rude. Very rude, right? I don't know how much money is that rude also?
So like you say, that's a natural thing. You have. It's not right. It's not good.
It's something that is, was well, okay, so it's not something that's welcome. Because in some cultures, it's
like, if you go to Asia and some Asian countries, when you burn, you say what do you say? We were
People are saying, the people like Al Hamdulillah that man is my food is good.
So you burping. Right, you Burberry that means it's a good food. It's good food. Like it's private. I think in France, also, when you burp, it's a good thing in America. Know, if you burp, and there's some guests? Yeah. Like, that's so embarrassing. You don't burp. Right? And so So culture is different. And there are some ways of sitting, it's different. And so when for Ukraine, Dara, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, Well, you can then honor his guest, the honoring of the guests. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not say, give him money. No, he didn't say give him money. Because maybe giving money to your poor neighbor is respecting monitoring, you know, showing
kindness towards them. Right? But if the guy is very well
I'll see like, what's this for? I wanted to give you some charity, like, what do you think?
Who do you think he might look down? Like, what do you think I gotta give a charity.
I don't need your charity, right? But maybe you can give him like, oh how I cook something really good just wanted to your family to your tasty, right you give them food, but sort of like as a gift when you give to charity that somebody who has less than you, and if your labor is poor, and you're giving him charity, I have some salad to give you his poor Alhamdulillah I really need it you
to help pay for the vendors.
Happy. And sometimes in the problem, Allahu Allahu wa sallam, like didn't say, Okay, give him new clothes, or, and the likes, you know, there's so many things they can do for your guests to respect them. But how do you determine what's respected? What's honoring them respecting them? is different, different for Muslim, you know, like, for example, even for non Muslims, there are certain things that, you know, that are that they consider acceptable. And there's some some things that are not acceptable. You know, there's some types of food that you maybe you like, and there's some types of food that you know, you don't want, because they're not used to it. Like if I had neighbors, who,
you know, who are not used to eating sushi, I'm not going to give it to them that they're like,
What is this rubbish, they're not used to it. So even though you know, the way you show respect, you have to also know your neighbors, and what they consider respectful and not respectful. And so sometimes, sometimes it's helping them out and me helping them clean their yard, right. And so no, normally, you know, if you're keeping your area clean, and also while you're cleaning your area, you also do that also with the neighbors and if you have a shop that's next door, maybe respecting their parking, right, because sometimes
our brothers who have shops next to non Muslim neighbors, non non Muslims don't like us.
Why? Because we never respect their parking spots. We have all the parking spots. And then when they have customers that come they have no parking.
They have no parking. And so they their shop their neighbors to us, but they don't like us.
Because we're very disrespectful.
Yeah, like in the masjid also, like in the masjid. I'm not just saying like, you know, the neighbors of the masjid also. But also, I know, some, some some shops, Muslim shops. And I know some Muslim shops, and the non Muslims hate the Muslims.
Not because we don't know how to park. And we don't respect their parking spots. Like this is for this is for what for the shop and they have put aside, but we don't care. We go there even for five minutes. We say no, this only two minutes, I'm just gonna pick up something I'm gonna go. But in those two, those two, three minutes, they're looking at your car. And they come out they see oh, that's a Muslim, came I go into that shop. very disrespectful. And what does that make him hate?
He doesn't like Muslims. They call you guys are very disrespectful. So also respecting your neighbors who live next to you, and respecting your neighbors in your workplace. Also, because you're going to be with them and you don't want your neighbors to heap and if they if you treated them kindly, then you help each other also you help each other. If they're successful Inshallah, they bring in more customers, then inshallah you will get some of the customers also you get some of the customers also. So, in this lab, we are ordered to respect our neighbours, Muslims, and non Muslims. And so what are the neighbors, it could be next to you? It could be in front of you. Also,
they can also as long as they close to you, they're considered the considered your neighbors. And so it doesn't, you know, to the left or to the right or to the front, in that particular area. Even if it's some sometimes some people have strip malls. Sometimes people have, you know, like you have in the mall itself, you have certain shops, so you should also respect them also. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He then said, women can have up nobility while you're Malaysia for Ukraine. BIFA for Ukraine PIFA whosoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment, let him respect his his
guests. Let him respect his guests, and generally who are the guests. Your guests usually traveled
First, we need a place for travelers who have common you know, this is something that was you know, in the non in the Muslim world, you know, like, I went to, you know, some of the Muslim countries
and even a non Muslim countries that are you know, like places like
Syria or like Bosnia, and you know that that was under the Ottoman Empire. You go to the masjid, so they kept the old the old masjid and next to the masjid, there are a couple of rooms
there so their rooms are sort of like a hotel, hotel or motel rooms. Do you know what those rooms are for?
Those rooms are for travelers.
If you come into the city, you go to the masjid. There the masjid has a couple of rooms. The Masjid itself has like a couple of houses actually next to the masjid and the rooms and
you live in there. You have three days and nobody will ask you why you came here what you did? Are you a guest? Okay, go ahead. This is you can do have a free, free and in the Muslim world. Many massages and many places many towns like in Jerusalem also before those guests used to come. They have a place for them to stay for three days and nobody asks why you came what you're here for. And you know how long you're gonna stay? They treat you they give them free food. Subhanallah imagine this. Imagine you go to any city. Okay? The first three days always free.
Firstly, that's always free.
Your first three days your hotels, they always free Subhanallah that's how amazing
our deen is
like, anywhere you go to any town, any Muslims. Whether you go into Baghdad, you're going to always you always have at least three days of free health.
Three days of accommodation that only come with food and accommodation. Nobody asked me
your guests here, you know from here, your stranger.
Welcome. Welcome. And then after that, like Yeah, where are you? Are you here for and so forth. And then they let you take care of you know, find housing or whatever you want to stay. But the first three days I was like souhan Allah, and that's you here but you go to some of these places and you see it. So amazing. Nowadays, there's no way you can get free.
For up like the accommodations for three days and nobody asks. And so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Makana Umina villa, he will Yama lachat, whosoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment, then let him honor his guest. And some of the scholars have mentioned, they said, it's mandatory to take care of your guests.
Only if it's a small town, or a village, but if it's a city, like the cities that we have now, it's not mandatory. And what did they say? They say, because
if you're in the city, there are many restaurants that they can eat themselves, like they don't need you. And they can stay in hotels also. So some scholars have said have said, if it's a big city, then it's not mandatory. But the stronger opinion is that even if it's a big city, if somebody comes to you see somebody who has a need to take care of the meeting, this is mandatory logic. So if somebody comes in checking in looking for a place to stay, you should we should take care of and help them out. We should take care and help them help them out if they can't. And that's why Believe it or not, there are some, some people come to the masjid because of the message. Oh, they're
travelers. And they don't want they want to, they need a place to stay. And so sometimes we actually provide a place for them to stay. Oh, no questions asked. They want to travel you can stay here for and then after that, okay, what's, what's going on what happened and so forth. And by that time, usually, already, especially living here, sometimes they get stuck, and they don't have any so they actually come to me in our Masjid. To ask so as Muslims, even the big city, you don't know how are you rich? Are you poor and so forth. Now this is what our Dean teaches us. of you. Can you find a place for them in and help them out? And then after that, and Charla, that's part of our dean, as
part of a dean to take care of when even if it's a big city, oh, Adam, it's part of our dean. And something that you might say, well, you know what, nobody does that anymore. Well, that's because nobody's applying the teachings of Islam anymore. And if you do this, Allah Subhana Allah will will will give you an
Charlotte will bless you and bless you and your wealth. And so the first three days, you have three days, right? The first three days, the first day itself, the first day, you treat them, you, you give them and provide for them even more than what you normally eat. Like you go, you know, you give something like
something like, provide for provide them with something that's special that you even normally like, you know, how do you honor your guests, you give them the best food, and if they are guest, then
then you take care of them. For the first day, you make sure that you take care of them well, but the second day, and the third day, then you give them what you normally eat.
So the first day, you go all out in terms of providing for them, and that's what we're taught. And that's what you know, when Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about Prophet, Prophet Ibrahim, when Allah Subhana Allah to Allah says hell attack a hadith to bleef Ibrahim Al Mukalla Amin Have you heard about
guests of Ibrahim the noble guests. Prophet Ibrahim is the Hello Allah He for Kalu Salah when they entered upon him and they said silabs Allah Salah moon, he said Salam Hoberman, karoun. He said Allah, He said Then Prophet Ibrahim, and then he answered, He said, Peace be upon you. Or people monka monka
monka Romans, you know, like, people we don't know we don't know you. Like but you know, we'll give peace institusi to strangers. Now there were strangers. So this is these are people he didn't know he didn't recognize he doesn't realize but he says salam mocha like this is a people who like we don't recognize, we don't know. And that's why they were Hmong. Carmela here means that you don't know like in Surah Prophet, Yusuf Alayhi Salam.
When the brothers came,
Allah subhanho wa Taala says, hula hula macaroon. Like he that he he knew them, but they themselves did not recognize him. I mean, they didn't recognize who they were. So he says,
Hello salaam Salama kala salaam Cava Monica. Ferrara de la la vida Fauja be aliens. I mean, immediately he this is a guest I guess. Then he went to his family as wine and came with a angel in semi what is it?
Caf? You know when the campus has the best meat
is the best meat. It's an English what do you call it? Call it what kind of what beef is that? What do you what do you call that? That type from the uncap
you call it a veal?
Veal. Why? Because if you wait for it to get older, just like everything else gets harder to meet the best meat so he brings what kind of brings the best meat not only that a whole calf
Yeah, Allah doesn't know that but their guests as this is what he does. And even the he just knows that their guests but without any questions ask says I know you guys are strangers, peace be upon please be upon you know my guests.
And so he really shows great respect for them. And that's what Islam teaches us when you have guests the first day normally do you go everyday you have a calf huge slaughtered economy you know, any, you know, eat like that, right? But we have guests if there's something that they love, they like mashallah, you know, if you have like, you know, the best meat, you serve the guests the best thing, and then the second day, you can't do that all the time. Because it's gonna be difficult. Second day, just whatever you normally eat the third day what you normally and then that's met after the third day, then, you know, that's when, you know, what are you here for? You they have a right to
that you respect them and you show you and they tell you of course, you know like I am here for this this and usually they do anyways. But if they don't tell you, you give him that really read that right of respect for the guests for three days. And so for locrian life, that's an order in the Hadith of the Prophet
hello and let him do so the respect has guests. And so what's the benefit? Let's call from the beginning again, what is for wide from this hadith? What are some of the benefits that we can extract from this hadith? Number one is that it's mandatory for us to be quiet unless you have something good to see. Right? Because the Prophet Salam said mankind of human ability will human asset value for the higher I'm only as smart. And so the, the apparent meaning we need the exclude that we can extract from this is that it's better to be quiet unless you have something good to say.
isn't like isn't mandatory?
To Be quiet? Always? Not necessarily. Because there are two there are 3333 types of three types of phrases and words, write three types of things. Number one, is that which is good. And if it's good, of course, then we say it. Number two, that which is bad. That which is when we say that which is bad. That means it's haram. Haram. So there are some things that you say that are haram. And number three is called level, a level level is just vein talk, like vein top maintenance, like things that don't benefit you, you know, things that don't benefit you. So like, for example, you know, you're speaking about stuff that really doesn't have any benefit, in terms of in and of itself. You know,
somebody's speaking about sports, is that really beneficial, but it could be beneficial. If that's if you know that your guests likes sports. And if you don't, you don't have anything to say. So you just open up the conversation to make that person feel comfortable. Right to make them feel comfortable. Because sometimes they'd be like, Okay, I don't have to say,
because everyone's looking at each other's face to live it awkward. Right? It was awkward, you make him feel uncomfortable. And making someone feel uncomfortable is not something that's good. So you want to say something. And if you know that he likes certain things, even though it might not be the most beneficial things. As long as it's not haram, then you can speak about it. You speak about it. Like for example, you just don't know what to talk about. And you see him like wearing a C hockey jersey. He's a guest like, Hey, how are the Seahawks doing today? Like you're like, Oh,
I think I think they wanted it. Yeah, they want to do that. And this is like, oh, okay, now he's really happy. And you might not even be interested in Silko, you could care less, the Seahawks won a rap, right? But because if you stay still, and you have nothing to say it's like a little bit awkward. And that's why some people, they don't have anything to say, what's the first thing they ask what? How's the weather today?
Like, what is the weather, the next thing is like, people just speak about the weather, just like small talk. And in some cultures, that's okay. But it's there are some cultures, that is not acceptable.
In some cultures, it's different. Because in some cases, like in America, even in America, in Seattle is different than Texas.
Like if you go to Texas, people like to like the small talk. It's part of them, you know, they speak to each other, you go to lb go to a, if you're inside the elevator, you know, immediately they start, hey, you know how they try to find a topic that they can speak to. Because sitting there in the elevator and closed area, it feels awkward when you don't have to say and you don't say anything. Right, but in some areas, some countries it's okay. So in America, there's a lot of that small talk is there, especially in the south, I don't know Seattle. Last right. But even if you don't know them, you try to, you know, try to this have some small talk. And so the same way with
some of the brothers who maybe you know, like if you're in a taxi, like in some countries, it's you should talk to the person you know, like if you're like overseas or some some countries you go to people like to talk and it's okay to do so. In other countries. No, you don't talk to the, you know, the taxi driver, like I remember I was you know, in Medina, right. Anytime you get into a taxi, you're always speaking to the driver. Right? And you always you know, where you sit. You sit in the front, because in the back is only for women.
And it's disrespectful. If you go straight to the back.
Disrespectful. When you go straight to the back. Do you guys know that? You're in a taxi now maybe because a lot of foreigners go but when I was there, there's no way that you're getting in the backseat. You have to sit in the front seat unless there's no unless you have two or three people then the rest of course sit in the backseat. But if it's only you and you're in a taxi, you sit in the front seat. If you sit in the back
I see this like, what's wrong with me? Like what's wrong with you?
So I remember I remember so I'm used to in Medina, I take taxis to the masjid sometimes at the classes into, you know, we need to go restaurant and sometimes with you know, the brothers, we always sit in the front seat, even if it's only two of us, even if it's by myself, we all use infancy. So, remember, I'm used to this, okay, I'm used to this for the whole whole time, right? So I land in New York.
I land in New York.
And I need to change airport. I need to change from JFK to LaGuardia. So I take a taxi. And where do you think I sat?
I go on the front seat and the guy goes.
Are you doing? Like he was robbed?
he was about to yell at me. Like, what do you want?
Now because then I looked in the taxi and guess what the taxi like, there's like metal bars.
Between the back seat and the front seat, they're like bars, like literally metal bars, you know? So he's like, he thinks I might try to rob him or something like that. And nobody sits in the front seat. You only sit in front seat when there's no other place for you to sit. Let's say it's already for the back. You don't just go and sit in the front seat. But for some people, like even in you know, for those who normally take taxis they know Right? And I think Uber is the same but for Uber sometimes people get confused. So some people but most people say the backseat always but
but when you because they like you know some in like in certain some some some cities you don't you don't you don't do that. You don't do that. And so in some areas, some countries, the front seat, the king, the king sits in the front seat, forget about the prince becomes in the car, it sits in France, in some countries before now, it's like everyone tries to copy the West. Right? Everyone tries to copy the West, right before, right? If like for example, you know, like in Cambodia love before, if someone has very respected
even if he's like, you know, Prime Minister, you don't put him in the backseat.
You don't want to vaccinate and Asian because some Asian countries you put in the back seat that's like very disrespectful, who you think I have in the back seat. Now I'm sitting here in the front seat.
And so different. There's different cultures. And so when it comes to even speech, sometimes you need to speak otherwise, it's considered very rude. And sometimes if you do speak, it's very rude or unacceptable. Anybody know who, where which countries? I was in Sweden.
I was in Sweden, right? And so I go into an elevator. And there's two elderly. There's an elderly couple in the elevator.
The two curly couples, and I'm from America, you know what we do in America, we've got an elevator, we always talk, small talk, whatever it is, you know, especially if you're used to going to the, you know, some areas in the south and so forth. You'll see it's a little bit different. You know, those who are in Seattle, they call it the Seattle freeze. Right? I guess or the Seattle freeze.
Never heard of Seattle, Seattle, they they say that the people in CRO CRO freeze compared to everyone else in the US. We're very close. We're more like like Scandinavians.
Here's like, what's kind of like, simulate European here? Yes. So I was I went, I went into the elevator started to have this, you know, like, I'm what I'm normally I'm used to, right. So I have this small talk, you know, those two people did.
They were so scared. They were startled. They were started as if I was going to rob them. You know?
okay, yeah, they didn't know what to do. And then I came out, I came out, they didn't know what to do. I came out. And I asked the brothers what's what's wrong, these people
just trying to like, you know, start on small talk. And they were like, they thought that I was gonna kill them or something. Especially if you're not, you know, you know why also, right. So, so he said no, in this country. If you don't know them, you don't speak to them. And they said, Well, we what do you think they were thinking? They probably think you're trying to rob them?
Because no one talks to each other. Like in Scandinavia, and especially
In Sweden, if you look it up, you know also, like also, in the bus stop, you'll see you notice some people, they always take us together in Sweden, look for pictures and bus stops in Sweden.
You know, where people said, Stay, even if there's like the place.
Yeah, the shop.
Okay, the shelters are here, right this area, there'll be one person in shelter and nobody's what's happening?
Okay. And then the next person is like, five feet away. The next person is five feet away, and next person.
But these people, they don't.
They do talk to each other. But only they start to know you. And they're very nice. And maybe they know you, but, but the default normal
and normal. Normally they don't. They don't. And so every culture is different. And so sometimes, if you're in that particular area, if by speaking to them makes them feel uncomfortable, then it's not necessary.
It's okay, just be quiet. But if my spirit not speaking to them, makes them feel uncomfortable, then you speak to them, it's better to speak.
Because that's considered part of good character.
That's considered good character.
I just actually wanted it's very funny how
how, how do people
like they they make fun of the in front of them? I
see I show I show you like
they showed a picture. I never seen this picture before. But I already know that you know.
So they said, The see that you see that? People? This is a bus stop. Okay, they said before Corona, and after Corona, same thing.
And this, if you go to, you go to Sweden, you look at the bus stop. This is what you see. Yeah. Because
everybody's like you normally hear people are close to each other. There, everyone has to have the bubble. You don't speak to me, I don't speak to you.
And it's like, you're just far enough where everyone feels comfortable with their distance. And they have that. So sometimes. So that's
in some countries is like that. So when you're speaking to somebody, sometimes speaking, even though it's not in and of itself, like it's not reminding others, or it's not something that's good in and of itself. But if it makes me feel feel comfortable, as long as it's not haram, then that's considered good word. Good. Also, why? Because that's considered good character. Good character. And if you're in Sweden, maybe that's not you might scare them.
If they're strangers, unless you need something from them, sometimes they will then even then they're like afraid. They're scared, you have to know how to approach them a certain way. But people are different.
scanning Scandinavia, and then and you know why and Seattle? You know why it's like that. Because the majority of the people who are Allah, you know, like in this area, originally, they're from Scandinavia.
Originally, they're from Scandinavia. That's why you have the, you know, in Fremont,
the Nordic Museum, because so that culture, that's the out of freeze was came from that particular area. So, and that's why people in Seattle, compared to people in Texas, and Tennessee and the South, and even in other parts of the Midwest, different, they're different. They're different. Why? Because of different culture, because America is mixed, mixed mixed culture. And in some countries, it's disrespectful for you to speak to an elder to start a conversation.
Right? And in some countries, if you don't speak, this respectful, how you speak, like who we are, and this is a problem with somebody marries and from a different culture. Like the mother is expecting something. And the wife does have no idea there's nothing wrong with that. She doesn't even recognize she doesn't realize anything so like, and to the mother, the mother's like that's extremely disrespectful.
Right to the point where I know couples.
They got married for only three days.
Three days. The mother says I will not let you I will not let you keep her. Do you know how disrespectful she is? And she has no idea
She has no idea why because in their country and their culture,
the sister, the wife, the husband's wife, the daughter in law, he has to, you know, show like respect the way she speaks to the mother mother in law's is you have to reach to speak in a certain way. And if you don't, it's like the, the end of the world, to them is the end of the world. And that culture, it's like, it's the end of the world. And so it's true, like even us, when we, in America, in American culture, when you sit down in front of your parents and find your grandfather, in front of your mother, you never put your leg in front of you, you point your legs toward them, to point your legs towards them.
I don't know about Somalia, Somalia,
Youngsters are not allowed to sit with the elders and they have something important now if they if they put their leg in front, facing towards the elders. There is no resources over there. Maybe in America, that's not the problem, right? in some quarters. If you're in the East, Pakistan, Afghanistan, I think even in Indonesia, too, right?
If you sit straight like that.
That's so disrespectful. Even in some cultures, they are not disrespecting, like, you see the way that he's sitting right there.
Somebody sat like that, right? Sat like that. Just like that in the prophets, Masjid.
Just like that, right? In the prophets message. And that old man came. And he was so mad.
How can you be so disrespectful? And the prophets message and you say it like that?
And so he took his leg and he pushed his legs to the side? How can you be stretch your leg? How like that. And you know what happened? You know, the guy was sleeping. He woke him up just to do that. But because in his culture, that's extremely disrespectful.
And to sit like that, also, it's extremely disrespectful. And so that's why some cultures, there's some you have to understand when you go to them like, there are some.
I remember I went to Indonesia, I was in one of the brothers, the brothers will come very close friend of mine, he has a school. He you know, he has a lot of students. And he had to go to the principal's office to do something. So he said, Listen, can you take over my class for a few minutes. And just, you know, we teach and he was teaching in Arabic. So it's easy for him. I just continued, you know, teaching whatever he was teaching or just, you know, continuing that continuing that. And then I was walking back and forth. And I was doing this
in and back and forth, in the front of the class. And everybody in the class, they started crap laughing.
And they start listening to me.
You know why they start listening to me?
He's loud, because he knows what it means. Everybody remember that? These are youngsters, right? And they stop. They couldn't. I said, Yeah. These guys know how you are listening to your teacher. After I come. You know, in America, we used to like, oh, you know, like, you just go back and forth. It's like, sometimes you just do it. It's like some gestures. You just do it for them. Like it was. It was just, they couldn't stop. They couldn't listen to I couldn't eat. I couldn't continue teaching.
They wouldn't listen to me anymore. I was like, What's wrong with it?
You know what I did? Because they were they couldn't stop laughing. I went out. I said, No, I'm gonna teach you guys anymore that
because then my friend came back. My friend came back. And I told him that you guys have a very disrespectful class. Like very disrespectful class. Like, you have a guest teacher, and the all of us laugh.
And he said, so he went to the class, he said, he asked them, he said, you know, what did you guys do and why you guys don't listen to the teacher when he's speaking to you. And they said, You don't know what that teacher just did.
He did it over and over again.
And he came out my friend came and you did
because that is a very obscene gesture.
That's like if somebody you know somebody gets mad
When you're driving, somebody gets mad at you, you give them half a peace sign.
That's an Imagine if the teacher were to do that over and over again. What do you think the teacher the students are gonna do?
Especially the kids, right? The kids are gonna crack up and they're gonna laugh. And so sometimes, you know, some, some cultures, there's certain things that are very disrespectful in this culture. And it might not be disrespectful, in another culture. And so that's why when the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed you'll see some of the the wording is so precise, that it's generalized, whatever is considered respectful, respect your guests. But he did not specifically mention what that respect of the guest last
whether it's and because it could be something different in different cultures, and different status different types of people is different for nucleon Jarrah and so let him respect his his neighbors. And so anyways, we have level so the third type is low, which is just, you know, just vain talk, what is being taught that which there is no benefit, and that was there's no, there's no harm our meeting No, no, it's not haram. It's not halal, but there's no benefit in it. But it's not haram. And if that's the default for that is it's permissible, permissible, but it's better for you to not speak about those things. So it's recommended that you be quiet if you don't have anything good to
say. And so
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said
I couldn't be more lucky. Me Me. Me me lucky that equally he said would you tell me can you want me to tell you something that will give you the you know the discipline over the head of all of this stuff? And so they said oh messenger Yes. Oh messenger Bella jasola. And he said for other design he
he took his
properly discerning NFC so he took his hair he showed him showed him his toe and he said goodbye, like instead of you want you want you know this is this is the head of all affairs is the time here make sure you take take care of this mean, hold the mean control this control this turn of yours. And so so the Companions they said Javelin Abdullah, this is our sorry, there's more than we juggle the Lord. He said he also in the law, hello, ALA, Donna, humanity, Carla Moby? Are we gonna be held accountable for what we say?
Oh, my God, may your mother lose you then this is like a sort of like a, it's he doesn't necessarily mean that may your mother lose you. But it's a form of it's the way that they used to use us to say, as a rebuke, you know, like a rebuke. And also for emphasis. Well, parheliacal Bonus, how you humans feel now Allah will do him. Our lm n f m l has Hi, I've seen it here. Is it? Do you know that people are dragged into the Hellfire by their faces, or by their noses into the mud dragged by by the nose except for what their tongues have done. And so the
you have to be very careful. That's why it's best if you don't have anything to say not to say anything at all. Because if you do speak, usually, the more you talk, the more you will regret. The more you talk, the more you regret. And of course, the prophets of Allah animus and then said, women can have human ability. Well, we all know that if you can Jarrah and so the deen of Islam. And Islam teaches us to always respect our neighbors, respect those who are close to us. Because when you have good relationships with those who are close to you, it makes everything easier, it makes life easier. Why? Because when your neighbors are nice and kind, then you know, it's you feel safer. If
even when you're gone, when you're away, you know, they will tell you know that they will take care of your house for you, even their non Muslims, or you know, they see something they will tell the neighbor to tell, they'll let you know or they'll call the police. And so that's why
in our time, a lot of times we don't get to know our neighbors. And this is one of the signs of the day of judgment that people themselves like even though the people are close to you, you don't know them. And this is especially true in countries like this and big cities for you like if you go back to you know
You're like in the villages in Cambodia, Vietnam, pretty sure in Somalia the same same thing. If something happens, everybody comes and helps everybody, you know, all the new everybody's like, everybody's there for everyone. You know, your neighbors, you're always and you know everybody and you visit each other, it's normal just to visit each other. Now, if you go visit somebody's like, oh, try and try knock on your door, like, can I visit you, your neighbor, just sit down with him. And normally, people don't even visit each other as neighbors. And that's one of the one of the things that of modern society that we've lost. That's that, that that love
and the unity even though you when you're living next to each other, like you know, like some of us we live in neighborhoods or in apartments and you don't even know who the people are living next to you or you don't know who they are, you don't and so that's why it's best for us to try to get to know them also, if you can, and if you have something especially during eat, you know eat you know, or you make in Ramadan when you're making food even the Muslims some good time to you know, they you know, this is a very special month for us. We would like to we just made some some boosa we'd like to share with your family and Sharla that's something that's a you know, you can introduce them to
Islam also, and, and be helpful in sha Allah and so that's that's part of our deen if you do that for the sake of Allah, you will be rewarded greatly. It's one of the most rewarding deeds in sha Allah that we can do. So inshallah that's the Hadith. And the next next week in sha Allah will go to Hadith number 16 And this is the Hadith jamboree Radi Allahu Allah Narayan and Colin unabIe Salonika Salam, I will see, you advise me, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, let our love for Rhonda Mirada he called letter. And so he repeated over again, do not be angry, do not be angry, do not be angry. So inshallah tomorrow and next week we'll speak about anger management.
Because it's very important. It's very, very important. Because when you're angry, what happens when you're angry? You act with I think,
and you when you're angry, the shaitan takes over, makes you do things that you regret for you regret later. So that's why No, what should you do when you're editing when you become angry? And it's normal to be angry when he says learn? It does not mean that you can't be angry because they're all of us, we become angry. But what that means is, do not because of your anger, do anything that's contradictory to the teachings of Islam. And that's what Allah subhanho wa Taala says, He praises those who are well cared for him in a loyal way this extreme anger katomina Leave those who hold back to anger that he didn't say, well as in a layer of baboon. No, well, Kev, we need a lawyer
because anger is natural. It's normal. To be angry, if you never get angry, that's progress. You have something wrong to something but the difference between someone who's angry who a believer who's angry and and someone who's not following the deen is a person who is angry, who was a Muslim, they control their anger. They control their anger, even though they're angry. It doesn't control them. They control their anger. And so inshallah We'll speak a little bit more about that and we'll continue with that next week. And we ask Allah subhana wa Tada to teach us that which benefits the status Subhanallah Homer we have
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