Abdulbary Yahya – Al-Nawawi’s Forty Hadith 13, 40

Abdulbary Yahya
AI: Summary © The importance of love and compassion in relationships is discussed, including the struggles of women in relationships and the need for strong leadership qualities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding political language and learning to read between lines. The importance of love and bond is also emphasized, as it is crucial for success in society. The speaker stresses the need to be treated properly and not give gifts or items that make one feel the other.
AI: Transcript ©
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But a true Muslim, a true believer is one who loves for himself. That human had to come back to you humbly fe, none of you truly believes until he loves for his brother, what he loves for himself. I tell you,

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the t ma you have the NRC and in Islam love in Islam, When you love somebody, you love them. You love them for the sake of Allah Subhana Allah. When you love somebody, you love them because of their faith of their Iman and you love them for the sake of Allah. And that's the strongest bond the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said in oral Iman and help of Allah, He will go to Villa, the strongest bond of faith is loving for the sake of Allah. And this liking for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. And that's why when you indent even between you and yourself, you and your family, you and your spouse, you do you do love them naturally that Allah Subhana Allah Tyler, he

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puts between you Melinda toward

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love, compassion, compassion and Rama, Melinda and

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Melinda, this love that you have compassion to our towards each other, and,

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and mercy towards each other compassion and love and mercy amongst yourselves. But when you love somebody,

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if it's only for the dunya as soon as that particular thing is gone,

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then your love ends. So if you love somebody for who they are just specifically something that is temporary, that when that thing is gone, then your love is not strong anymore, and it's over. I'll give you an example.

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You know, at the beginning when you get married, you might be very lovey dovey right at the beginning and then later on you get used to them.

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And what remains is that compassion that you have towards them. And that mercy that Rama you might you have towards them. Sometimes that love is still there, and sometimes it's not even there anymore. But it's okay. Because

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you win when you are staying together and you love each other meaning as long as you give each other rights and you're helping each other because the main goal, the main goal is what the main goal is

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to interject and the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Leia Frick what mean and what Amina

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mean and what Amina

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Lisfranc means do not, do not

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Do not hate that not a believer, hate another video.

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Do not hate them. Meaning do not hate him to the point where you are.

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You know what, you're always focusing on something that's negative. And that's why the Prophet said a lot is I'm said in Raleigh, and carry him in her whole Raleigh, Raleigh Amenda.

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Like, do not just, you know, sometimes you have this.

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So especially people who

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get into divorce, divorce sometimes can be very, very messy.

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And everybody can dig up everything. They don't fear Allah subhanaw taala your wife

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knows everything about your husband knows everything about you. And so, sometimes people dig everything up and expose everything about the other person. And that's not something that is permissible to have that kind of spite. And you do whatever you can to harm the other person. Why? Because you're, you know, like, after a divorce, there's a lot of a lot of emotions sometimes. And

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it and it causes sometimes a lot of problems and that's why it's very stressful. It's one of the most stressful things that a person can go through as someone going through divorce, because you're going through difficulties, hardships, and at the same time, the person who you're letting go, you they know everything about you. And that's why you know in the story of profit use of there's a lot of there a lot of politics there's a lot of politics involved in and when Allah Subhana Allah subhanaw taala tells us that when Prophet use of either he said

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when Prophet Yusuf alayhi salam is

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says to the disease, he says to the husband, the disease.

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He says

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Carla here our attorney enough see that

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she is the one who tried to seduce me.

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Right and then it was the machete the Shade Room and Alia

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a witness from her own family testified against her

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encounter or Musa who put them in Kubelik facade as well. Who cares even if his shirt is torn from the front?

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Then she is truthful, she's telling the truth.

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And he's lying.

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But we're in Cana. Me so put them in Google.

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If his shirt is torn from the back

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then * there but the she's a liar. Well, who am I mean Assad initially is the one who is telling the truth. And then for them a new style put them in dude. When he realized

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when he saw that the shirt was torn from the back

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in mankind they couldn't. This is from your closet. You're the one who did these in Acadia canali. And notice he says he didn't say in like a ducky in Acadia couldn't leave like the plot. The product view woman is, I leave Allah Subhana Allah describes in the Qaeda Shavon Cana why the plot of the shaytaan is weak for the plot of

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women who do not fear Allah

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is B is very, very extreme.

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It's very extreme. They will do anything to try to harm if they don't fear Allah subhana wa Tada.

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And so, what happens if something like this happens? Something like this happens.

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What would the husband normally do?

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He says to Instead of scolding his wife

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he What does he say?

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He tells profit use of other Hisar in the kala kundali.

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And then he says, use of our

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use of just

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brush this under the rug. Don't worry about it, like turn away from this. You know, don't just just ignore it in other words,

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and then he says for stealth, stealth for stealth theory. We start theory lambic. You ask forgiveness for yourself?

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Ask forgiveness for your sin.

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It seems like this is something that's very, did he punish her?

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He didn't punish her.

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He didn't he wasn't extreme. He wasn't he didn't punish her or anything like that.

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Some of the scholars have mentioned that Do you know why?

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I want you to think look at the position than the status. The people here. Why?

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Why did he punish her? Like why did he like divorce her or why was the more harsher? He was still like if someone was trying to cheat like this, this woman has tried to is an even though she didn't do anything yet. That's big, but she tried to do something that was terrible. And faithful to her husband, most husbands. At that point, what do they do?

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It's over. Right. So like, how could you do something like that? It's over.

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But not to as is.

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And if you look, if you think about how politics works. It's because if he were to, you know, politics, people are involved in politics, generally.

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For in order for them to get to where they are. They have to do a lot of things.

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Sometimes they have to, they have to sell themselves out pretty much.

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Even those Muslims who are involved in politics. At the beginning, they might be okay. But as soon as they try to

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hold on to this position. They're forced to take positions that are contradictory to Islam, maybe support, some stances that are not permissible in Islam, but if they don't what happens

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was a political career is over. And so sometimes in order to get in those positions, you have to understand that there are a lot of things. And sometimes people stay together. Because everyone is looking for their own, their own benefit, their own the worldly benefit. So the husband,

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who is the one who knows

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all of this, everything that's going on.

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And her also being the husband of someone who is prominent, that is also very, very beneficial for her to be the husband to be the wife. So to be a wife, or someone who is prominent was status, gives you status amongst the other woman also. Then if you're a divorce,

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it's gonna lower your status. Why does it he divorce her?

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Because if he divorces her, what may end up happening is she exposes everything about him.

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He doesn't want that neither. So everybody is just thinking about their worldly benefits, especially in politics. And so in the United States of America,

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a few years ago, we had a president.

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We had a president. He was he didn't he did things that were very, very inappropriate with his secretary

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or the secretary. His wife didn't leave him.

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Why? Because being

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being his wife,

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she has her own aspirations.

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Jensen when he's no longer the president, she has her own aspirations. And what were her aspirations to be the President of the United States of America also. But of course, we know that that didn't work out. That didn't work out. But everybody's looking for their own, their own benefit. And that's why afterwards ALLAH SubhanA wa Tiana says, Now the woman when they got together, when they got together, what did they say?

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They hear this scandal. When there's a scandal in the palace, all the women are talking.

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But all the women are talking

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and Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us we're colonists were to fill Medina in Rotterdam is easy to write we do Fatah, NFC

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for the shell of

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the words of Napoleon mentioned, the words that she used,

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is very, very, very hurtful are the words that the women use the woman in the city, because they said they chose words. They didn't mention her name or anything like that. They said,

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We're calling this word to Medina, Imran Aziz, the wife of the Aziz, the wife of the minister,

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the wife of the minister, it's like saying, you know, the, the wife or the minister. It's like saying given the title and saying the first lady or the President's secretary. You can say the name easily but when you say, or the First Lady, the president's wife, president's wife, to Russia with the Fatah, he is still trying to

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she is still trying to seduce her slave. She's still trying to do so slave. It's like saying the President of the United States

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is trying to seduce the Secretary of State has a secretary. Right so that those words,

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Emirati, Lizzie's to mention her title and their status. They're trying to they're trying something What are they trying to do?

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They say she's still in LA. He's, she's still in love with him. In the Nura Hatfield Aladdin movie, we see that she's surely in the wrong. She's definitely in the wrong. So when you say somebody's in the wrong

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what is a woman tried to do?

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She tries to defend her position, her status. And so Allah Subhana Allah says, Allah subhanho wa taala. He then says,

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For alumna Sandy at the mercury henna. When she here she when she heard about their plotting. Notice what kind of plot what did

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They want

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what do they want? What's the plot? She understands her plot? How does she understand the VA? Because she understands their language. She knows because many women, when they talk, they expect you to understand.

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They expect you to know.

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And if you don't know, that is another strike.

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So I mentioned before an example, let's say if your wife tells you calls home calls you at work and says, Honey, we've run out of milk.

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We've run out of milk. So on your way back from work, you know, on your way home, can you stop by the supermarket and buy some milk?

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And then you come and you you know, you totally forget.

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So you come straight home. You sit on the couch, and the football game is on

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the couch and you're watching football, and your wife is looking at you strangely.

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And she says it's okay.

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Our daughter can start okay.

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You don't have to go by the milk.

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Which is

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in stone. You can wait Okay, is it okay?

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Even though she says it's okay. That she really mean it's okay. She's looking at you. If you're saying How dare you like how could you? But she's not saying that? She says the opposite. She says the opposite. It's okay. I can start. It's okay. You can sit down, relax. It's okay. Don't worry about I'll give her something else to give her water to drink instead.

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Like sick, okay, and how long did it last?

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And then she gets even more mad at you. Right? Because like Yeah.

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And then you wonder why she mad? There's nothing wrong, but what did I do wrong? And you don't know what you did wrong?

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Because you didn't understand

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what she was saying when she says it's okay. It's not okay. She says okay, it's when she was okay. It means you forgot the milk. Why are you still sitting down watching TV? Go

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behind and go to the supermarket and go get the milk right now. Right go get the milk right now. Right? So

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sometimes they mean something. And they say something and they mean something else. So you have to learn how to read between the lines.

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You have to learn what what do they really mean?

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Right and a

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the wise thing to do actually for a woman is just clarify like hey, that's not right, honey, you know, you forgot? Can you please go you know our daughter? We don't We really don't have an email. Because if you speak that way, sometimes

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some some men don't understand still. They don't know when you say it's okay. They still think it's okay. They'll still sit on the couch, watch TV and you get a bit more mad. You get even angrier. So when she says so when the woman in the city when they said in brothels easy to run we do Fatah enough sick for the shower for

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the wife of the wife of the disease

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is still in love madly in love with her slave.

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She's totally in She's totally in the wrong, she's a stray totally in the wrong. What they what are they trying to say she understand when they say that? What they're trying to say is you're totally in the wrong. So what they want to know is, you know, like, what kind of person is this? If you think you're in the right, prove it to us.

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If you think what you did was right, then prove it to us. Show us who use of less.

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And that's why she understood. She said Allah says Allah mess me up to be mercury in our cell at Eli hidden. We're at TEDx la nama tech. And so she plans this whole gathering of course. And of course, when they saw use of He was so handsome that they cut their own hands. And then see says Daddy couldn't have done any fee. This is why you this is what you blame me for. In other words, see, look at you, you guys. All of you. In one moment. You just saw him for a few moments. And you guys cut your hands and you didn't realize and they said we couldn't hash Ali Lahemaa has a Bachelor in hazard.

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Illa Malecon Kareem, what is this? This is not human. This is nothing but a noble Angel. And she says, I got you, right? All fidelity cardinality long today. That's what you blame me for. That's how I am right there.

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In other words, if you were, why are you blaming me if you were in?

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If you were in my position, you would do the exact same thing or even worse. You just saw him for one for a few moments. And look what you did.

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But I have to be with him day and night.

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Now this is trying to say young girls look, fuck, you got to understand my position.

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And then she then that that lust, that desire that lust even increases even more, to the point where she's the what do they say? She says,

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she then clarifies

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enough, say for stops, I did try to seduce him. But he refused. But now

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if he disobeyed me, he refuses right now. I'm going to imprison him or he's going to be punished severely.

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And so all the women are like, Yeah,

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well, now we understand. Like, what's so odd? Looked at all societies, and they're saying to like, it's okay, now. Yeah, we understand. We totally understand that kind of person. That kind of Anthem. That's right. Yeah. Go ahead, go for it, girl.

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That's what they're trying. That's what they're saying. And so proper use of is put in that situation. But difficult situation. And I know this is like, far from it.

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But what I'm trying to say is that sometimes, you know, when

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in in a relationship

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when people don't fear Allah subhanaw taala

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they go to extreme

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both the men and the woman

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both the men and the women. They go extreme. And the shaitan loves to break people apart, break relationships apart. So he uses all of these tools and so once you go one way go the other you say you start saying like oh look, sometimes the husband doesn't praise his wife doesn't speak nicely to his wife and then other men speak nicely to her what if you're going to say

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she's gonna say oh,

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like my husband but look at this guy here so nice to me and everything like that. Yeah, but that's the beginning Yeah, do you then get married

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but the shaper tricks you now Yeah, then she's not she's trying to find a way to get out of her marriage. Or she may do something haram and the same way with the brothers.

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The wife is not obedient to Him and that's doesn't speak kindly. doesn't use nice words and so forth. He starts to like hey, my wife is like this and look at this woman She's really nice. kind to me nice to me speaks nice to me, praises me and stuff like that saying this and that. Maybe this at the beginning, the shaper beautifies those types of things. So the messenger of allah sallallahu sallam said Leia Frick Mina Mina, don't dislike don't detest and hate them have this hatred towards another belief. No have this towards another your wife especially into how do you do that? How do you do that? How can you not have this you know, the the relationship always collapses. The profits

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of the license and Getty have been half full can rob you have been

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looking at each other, and nobody's perfect. But focus on the good qualities.

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Focus on the good qualities of your wife. She may have some of these qualities that you you know that you can't change. If you try to change them you'll break it just like the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, you know the woman women are having created from the the rib and the upper rib, right and that's the most curriculum that we try to stray in. You're gonna break it and when you break it that means it's divorce. So how do you have not have this continue to to sort of like

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one problem become bigger problem they can

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insinuation of this, focus on that which you that which is praiseworthy, there are their characteristics, maybe she might be, she might be like this and that. But you know, she's a really good mother. Or she, mashallah she cooks very well. Or she's mashallah she's very pious and righteous. But maybe there are certain areas that she's not good at. Or maybe she's not a good cook, but hamdulillah she's very high. Or she's very good to your children. So focus in carry him in her hula hoop. And if there are certain characteristics that you don't like, know that there are other characteristics that you like, you, there are always characteristics about someone that you like,

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and nobody is perfect. And you yourself are also not perfect. So how do you focus on on that? Also, you love for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. What do I mean by loving for the sake of Allah, it means doing things, not for her.

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Don't do it for her. And don't do it for him.

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Do it for the sake of Allah. Because if you do it for them, there may be days. And there may be situations that they make you mad. And you say, man, you know what I don't do, she doesn't deserve to be like that she doesn't deserve for me to help her in the house, or do this and do that she doesn't deserve that. She's not even thankful for what I do.

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I she doesn't realize what I what I do. And she's not thankful she doesn't recognize those things, then, and vice versa, also the husband, right? Sometimes you have to focus on the good qualities of your husband, the good qualities of your husband, and no one is perfect, but inshallah in Jannah, then you don't have any of this in everyone. Showers perfect. So you work for Jenna, because that's eternal, but in this world focus on the good qualities. And you might say what I mean by loving for the sake of Allah, it means that if even if you feel that she doesn't deserve the treatment that you're giving to her, because sometimes you try and you try and to be a good wife, you might think,

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you know, my husband doesn't deserve that type of treatment. But you know, I'm not doing it for help. I'm doing it for the sake of Allah. So even on the days that you are mad at him, you still do the same thing.

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Even on the days that you're mad at her, you still do the same thing, you still are responsible, you still act in a loving manner, you still act in a nice manner. Why? Because you're not doing it for me, there are days that maybe she deserves that type of treatment. But there are many days that she doesn't deserve that type of treatment. And you know, that insights and actually does this. I'm not doing it for her. I'm doing it for the sake of Allah, I want the reward from Allah. Because being an obedient wife, to my husband, and being a good wife to my husband, in sha Allah, Allah will reward me more than anyone can reward can give me more than anyone can give me.

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Well, Saba are higher on offer that He is the Best of those who can reward and the best outcome, the end result. And so you treat your husband and obedient your husband and be kind to your husband. Even if you feel that he doesn't deserve it, because you're not doing it for the sake but you're not doing it for him. You're doing it for the sake of Allah. So even when you're angry at him not mad, you're mad at him, you still continue to take care of your responsibilities. And the same way with the husband. You still do the same things towards her you speak nicely towards her, but not for her for the sake of Allah because it was for her it would have been done. You would have stopped

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already. Right? And if you don't do that, what ends up happening? Okay, now, something goes wrong. You get into an argument. And now you treat each other differently. And then the first thing your wife says, Oh, you were like that before?

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Oh, you were like that before neither.

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Everybody says you are like that before you were like that for you and like this, you know, like, you know, we just got married you this is this is now you don't do it anymore. And then when you were you were like that and we now you're not doing that anywhere else so and everybody stops and act differently towards each other.

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But imagine,

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like you even though she stopped or he has stopped you continue to be the best husband

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How do you continue to be the best wife, your spouse, your husband, your wife, they're gonna say, Where am I gonna get a husband like this?

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Where am I going to get a husband like this? I'm mad at him and he's still helping out helping out. He's still helping out the kids. He's still doing this. And then also, like, you know, he's like, I'm like, What am I gonna get another wife like this? I look, even though she's mad at me. She's angry at me. Look, she's still crying. She's still doing all of these things. But

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she doesn't stop. She's still the same person. Even though in deep down and harshness feed, I know you don't deserve it for the sake of Allah. And that's why alpha, Ema hobo fillet will build.

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The strongest bond of faith is the love loving for the sake of Allah and disliking. For the sake of Allah.

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That's the strongest one.

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Because it's unbreakable. Because you know that the reward will always come and Allah has always appreciated me, Allah will always reward you, if you're sincere.

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Allah subhanaw taala is most generous and all knowing. Because there are things that you do.

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So many things that you do for your wife, that she doesn't know. And there are so many things that you do for your husband, that he doesn't know.

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And if he doesn't know these things, you might quit, you might stop doing it, because he's not appreciative of it. But you know, that even if he doesn't know a lot knows,

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Allahu Allah knows. So I'm going to continue to do them, even though he doesn't see him, and he doesn't appreciate it. And I'm going to continue to be the best wife that I can be. Because I want Jenna, I want the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala.

00:32:00 --> 00:32:06

So those who love for the sake of Allah, their love, and their bond is the strongest bond of them all

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in the stuff online, subhanaw taala. And that's why even when things don't work out,

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that Dakhla Allah will prevent them from spreading all of your secrets and saying bad things about you. And having this spite that some some couples have when they get divorced. Because if you don't have duck or lie subhanaw taala then you'll see that indicator could now be

00:32:36 --> 00:32:47

the women who don't have fear and Allah subhanho don't have taqwa, they will try with all means to try to harm you

00:32:48 --> 00:32:51

by using the American law,

00:32:52 --> 00:33:11

American foreign food, justice and to get all her rights. And to take even more than that, not only is she going to take half of your wealth, that that she may not deserve. But she will take all of that and more and prevent you from seeing the children also.

00:33:12 --> 00:33:47

And that is haram. The rights that are still remain in Islam. And that's why one who doesn't fear Allah. And that's why Allah Subhanallah tell he's speaking about the woman in the story, proper use of these are bad women. They're not good, righteous woman. And this is what they do. This is what they do. They they gossip, the era in society, they cause mischief, cause scandals and problems. And sometimes you're you're right in the middle of it, you're right in the middle of it.

00:33:48 --> 00:34:17

And only Allah subhanaw taala can help you. And that's why in when it comes to divorce, it can become very, very messy. But when a person fears Allah subhana fan, when they get together because of the sake for the sake of Allah, they also separate for the sake of Allah, then in sha Allah, then everything will be a little bit more smooth and sharper. And at least, even if you even if you don't have that love for each other anymore,

00:34:19 --> 00:34:19

oppress each other.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:52

You want to impress each other. So I'm speaking about the you know, we're speaking about the Hadith, in which the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said, that you know how to come back to him earlier, he may humble enough, see, none of you truly believes until he loves for his brother, what he loves, for himself. As I mentioned in this world, we have to in order for us to be successful in this world. We have to learn to love each other.

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And that's why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that that whole agenda had to me No, you will not

00:35:00 --> 00:35:00


00:35:01 --> 00:35:05

until you learn until you have faith and tip man

00:35:06 --> 00:35:12

well let me know had that happen. You will not have faith until you learn to love each other

00:35:13 --> 00:35:24

fella do local militia in either fall to move to have up to would you like me to show you something that if you were to do it you would love each other after Salah via

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gifts alarms and spread this alarms amongst yourselves. And so when we speak about loving for the sake of when we speak about

00:35:37 --> 00:36:00

it loving your brother and for what you love for yourself. The prophets of Allah Allah Hassan said in this hadith is we are in Hadith and 13. This is just an introduction, a little bit of a tangent that we spoke about the Hadith Hadith number 13. We're in number 13 now, and it's from behind the NSA Malik in the Long Island.

00:36:01 --> 00:36:14

And it's a dramatic rodilla handle. Cardamom Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and nomadic Radi Allahu Anhu he served the message of a loss of love and he has been for almost 10 years.

00:36:15 --> 00:36:55

He was with the Messenger of Allah salivation, from the beginning when, when the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam arrived in Medina, as a mother came, he said, This is a young boy that please, you know, take to you know, use him to be at your service used to be at your service. And so he was always there with the profit sort of learning or whatever the messenger of Allah needed, needed, he wouldn't be there he would, he would be there to help and that's what his mother wanted, he wanted her. He was she was very, very wise, to send him to the prophets of Allah and so so that he can learn and can be also to serve the Prophet sallallahu AlHassan. So this, Hajime Rasulillah he

00:36:55 --> 00:37:37

settled on so and then the visa the Lohani Semcon, the Messenger of Allah lies and said, that you had none of you truly believes that, you know, a lie a timber Iman hiding, none, yo, do you wanna believe which means that your email will not be complete, who you hear Iman will not be complete, it doesn't mean that you will not have any faith. When you say you don't have any faith, that means you're not Muslim? No. If you don't have these qualities, that means your mind is not really complete. I mean, it's lacking, you need to improve, you need to this is a this is the minimum you should at least try to achieve value, I mean,

00:37:38 --> 00:37:42

none of you truly believes, had you have value

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until he loves for his brother. May you humble enough see that which he loves, for himself and Hadith in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. And the hadith is a very, very, very, very, very well known hadith of course, and the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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used to used to love the companions. And he sometimes would remind them also, he sometimes he would say to Abu that.

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He said, and he will say to Allah, by Allah, Allah love you.

00:38:21 --> 00:38:40

And I love for myself, what I love for you, my love for you what I love for myself, I love for you, what I love for myself. So he mentioned this, I love for you, and I love for myself, I mean, if I were put in your situation, this is I'm giving you advice, that's best for you. Because I love you.

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And he says, if you're ever put in a position of leadership, don't take it.

00:38:49 --> 00:39:05

Have you ever put in a position of leadership in the rock of life and it's I know that you're weak, you know, we can what maybe some people, some people are very pious and righteous. But just because somebody is pious and righteous does not make them a good leader.

00:39:07 --> 00:39:12

It may not make them the best leader sometimes and because leaders have to be influential,

00:39:14 --> 00:39:59

they have to be influential and influential. Maybe this person says this to them, they they change their opinion. Another person says they change their opinion back. And so a leader has to be strong, he has to have leadership qualities. So the messenger of Allah, Allah realizing that is very pious, and known for his piety and righteousness known for his word. But he was not someone who was who had been the qualities of leadership. And maybe some people later on, will see that he's very pious, and maybe put him in position a leadership but he doesn't have those qualities. And so the prophets Allah FM is giving advice you know, I love for you and I love for myself

00:40:02 --> 00:40:07

If you're put in position and leadership is needed, you're weak in terms of, you know, like your,

00:40:08 --> 00:40:38

you know, your authority and your character. The way you are doesn't mean that's bad. That's just who he is. It's just to hear some people are like that some people are not fit to be leaders, they can't be leaders, and some people are. And so sometimes you need, you know, you need, you need someone to help help them be stronger in certain aspects. Nobody's perfect. But he says to him, I love you, I love for you and I love for myself,

00:40:39 --> 00:41:00

I love you want to learn for myself. And so when the messenger of Allah says it shows also that he himself, of course, was the one of one who, who shows the most in terms of his teaching, he applies it in practice, more than anywhere else. And Allah subhanho wa taala. Lots of highlights,

00:41:01 --> 00:41:05

of course, mentions him and describes the messenger of a loss of life.

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As some someone who is even more I need to,

00:41:12 --> 00:41:13

and did anything that

00:41:15 --> 00:41:45

any difficult that you face is difficult for him also, that he's it's hard, hard, hard on him also will not mean in a row for him, towards the believers, he is gentle, compassionate, and merciful. So the profit some of our some of our some of our learned something, and he said that you may have had had, I believe he may have humble enough See, this. This hadith is a Hadith, in which, in which,

00:41:47 --> 00:41:49

when it comes to

00:41:50 --> 00:41:51

the 40 Hadith,

00:41:52 --> 00:42:07

they form the core principle of our deen, the 40 Hadith, he's chosen these Hadith because these are terms of the core principle when it comes to our how we treat others, what we do towards others.

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Even if you're by yourself, for example, you know, sometimes a person may go to the bathroom.

00:42:14 --> 00:42:23

If you go to the bathroom, and you see that it's dirty, you see this dirty? Do you like that.

00:42:24 --> 00:43:13

And you don't like that, when you go, you don't like that. And if it's something you don't like, that means next time when you use the bathroom, don't make a mess for other people. And in fact, instead of making more of a mess, because everyone else is making a mess, maybe you should clean up because you want just like how you want the bathroom to be clean in the masjid, and even your house. Just like how you want to be clean for yourself. You wanted also to be clean for others also. So you're not a true believer unless you work for others, what you want for yourself. So if you like something, and you like certain characteristics, some people you know, they, they they say that,

00:43:13 --> 00:43:14


00:43:15 --> 00:43:37

he's i That's a good, he's a really, really good person. Right? He's a really, really good person, I love to sit with him, I love to talk to him, what are his good qualities, like instead of trying to instead of just praising him, look at yourself, and try to be the Muslim that you want to meet.

00:43:38 --> 00:43:43

You know, try to be the Muslim that you want to meet, try to be the change that you want to see

00:43:44 --> 00:44:01

that if you want something done and you want something you want, you know, like instead of blaming other Muslims saying, Oh, this Muslims like this and that, why don't you be that Muslim, that others want, that you yourself want to make new yourself want to be with.

00:44:03 --> 00:44:09

And that's why you have to check your character. If you see some brothers doing something

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that's wrong.

00:44:12 --> 00:44:17

There you see something, some some something, if you see them doing something that's wrong.

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And you want to speak to them.

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You want to advise them,

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don't go straight to them, and yell at them and so forth. I want you to think first, the viewer in that situation. If you are the other person, person who's in the rock, who is doing something

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you want goodness for them, right? So you want someone to you want someone to advise them. So if you are that person, how would you want someone else to advise you? How would you want them to talk to you?

00:44:53 --> 00:44:57

Then you talk to them the way that you would want to be talked to

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because sometimes a person

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So they make a mistake, they make a mistake, and you go to them. And sometimes you're like, you know, like you're, and sometimes you have to, doesn't always mean you have to be gentle with them all the time. Because, you know,

00:45:14 --> 00:45:19

we're most we're adults now, right? We're older, and a lot of us they are.

00:45:20 --> 00:45:21

You're older now.

00:45:22 --> 00:45:29

And sometimes we have, we had parents who were very, very, some of us had parents who were very, very harsh,

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very strict towards us. And then you look back, and you said, Hamdulillah, my father was like that. Imagine if he wasn't like that. How do you think I was? How do you think I would have turned out? How do you think I would have turned out if he let me do everything? Right. And so sometimes you being firm, with your children, with people who are doing something wrong, sometimes that's the right way. Because they may not understand right now. But maybe later on is like, oh, subhanAllah, you know, this is what if we didn't do this? If this wasn't, if we weren't firm in this particular action here, then maybe a greater harm might come about a greater harm that come about. So sometimes

00:46:16 --> 00:46:58

there are times, especially when somebody already knows and that's why the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam towards my the Magellan. He used to lead the people in prayer. He used to pray with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because he loved to pray with the Prophet saw the light, so they shout prayer. And then he would go to his Masjid because he was the Imam and his masjid. And then he would lead them there. When sometimes imagine he's already leaving them there is already a little bit later than normal already. He goes, and they, and he prayed for very, very long. And some of the people there complained to the prophets of the lives of the Messenger of Allah

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and called him over and his face was red. He says, he says, to have

00:47:06 --> 00:47:52

a tournament, or You troublemaker, like why are you we causing problems for for people, people were praying behind you there somewhere elderly, busy, they have many things. And, and then when you when you prolong the prayer to the point where you make it difficult for people, you're gonna cause fitna for them, they will not want to come to the masjid. You want to make the masjid welcoming. You don't want to make it so those people don't want to come without I don't want to go to the masjid. Yeah. Like the, I'm gonna miss this, I'm gonna miss that. And sometimes I can't stand up for a long time. So make it in just just, you know, take it easy on the people and look at the, the well being of the

00:47:52 --> 00:48:36

people. So sometimes, so the profits of being when he spoke to my other job, but he was very harsh to him. When he spoke to the Bedouin, he was very kind. Because the Bedouin was ignorant, and more admirable, was a scholar. He knew he knew better, he knew he should have the mutation, he shouldn't, he shouldn't do that. So when he knew, because he's different. And also, you know, the relationship with the Prophet son with mine is different. So he was very harsh, very strict with him. But he was very gentle with others. And so there's a time for this. And there's a time for that. But at the same time, also, when, when you're speaking to somebody,

00:48:37 --> 00:48:38

when you're speaking to somebody,

00:48:39 --> 00:48:41

put yourself in their shoes.

00:48:42 --> 00:48:47

Put yourself in their shoes. And when you somebody comes to you

00:48:48 --> 00:49:09

put yourself in their shoes and put yourself in their shoes. How would you want someone to treat you if you were in that situation? How would you want someone to treat you? How would you want someone to talk to you? Okay, so somebody who's in need or somebody comes to you, how would you want them to treat you,

00:49:10 --> 00:49:13

then you treat them the way that you want to be treated.

00:49:15 --> 00:49:28

You treat them the way and you talk to them the way that you would want to be talked to, right because sometimes we speak to others. But we don't like it when others speak like that to us.

00:49:29 --> 00:49:39

Sometimes our husbands are sometimes we speak to our husbands like this. We say this and the way we speak to them. But then

00:49:40 --> 00:49:47

then when our husbands speak to us like that, and then we said oh we don't like that. Like if you don't like that.

00:49:48 --> 00:49:50

Then don't speak to your husband like that.

00:49:52 --> 00:49:59

Is that's not how you like to be spoken to. Because sometimes, you know they sometimes you know between husbands and wives sometimes

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Sometimes the wife speaks to the husband in a very, very, very, very disrespectful way.

00:50:08 --> 00:50:12

And if the husband were to speak the same way to the wife, yeah.

00:50:16 --> 00:50:25

Then if you don't like that, don't speak to your husband like that. And if you don't like to be spoken that way, then don't speak to your wife like that awesome.

00:50:27 --> 00:50:44

La Umeda haidakhan Had you had ballet, he he may have been in FC. None of you truly believes until he loves for himself and he lost friends. And so also others you know, when you're giving gifts, when you're giving, sometimes, when sometimes, like,

00:50:46 --> 00:50:48

speaking of people bringing shoes,

00:50:49 --> 00:51:04

like shoes that you don't want, you don't want it. You know what the shoes and you bring them into the masjid and hope somebody takes it. Yeah, Allah. If you want to bring shoes, bring brand new ones.

00:51:06 --> 00:51:22

Bring the shoes that you would take. They'll bring the shoes that you would reject. Bring the clothes that you would wear. Don't bring the clothes that you throw away or bring the clothing the shoes, you bring some new ones do you think you'll stay there for a day?

00:51:23 --> 00:51:32

For prayer? Read new ones. People will take them. But don't bring if you don't like it. You don't want it?

00:51:33 --> 00:52:13

You don't want it? Why are you giving it to others? If you if you wouldn't take it to yourself, then they'll bring it law you know how to combat that you have Wi Fi him I believe none of you truly believes until he allows for his brothers where he loves you for yourself. So if you wouldn't take it then don't bring it snowing Yeah, bring but bring the stuff that you would take really good stuff. They'll bring the leftover don't bring the leftover. Don't bring the stuff that you would reject. Right because that's not how Muslim behaves. Muslim when they bring when you bring stuff to the masjid you bring the best.

00:52:15 --> 00:52:26

You don't bring leftover thrown away stuff. When you give in sadaqa you give the best. When you choose the animal you choose the most expensive

00:52:27 --> 00:52:29

that's how we are taught.

00:52:32 --> 00:52:52

But for us, it's like the opposite. Bring home bags and clothes that we don't want. And you think that people here take it you wouldn't take it then why do you think other people would take it you're the one that you're the first one to reject it. Before you project it, you don't want it already. You wear these clothes and then you bring the good one over.

00:52:54 --> 00:53:38

Right that's how it should be as Muslims. And so we have to learn how to apply this hadith law you know haidakhan had that you have a Hema you have Bolinas, none of you truly believes until he loves for his brother when he loves himself. The way you speak, the way you treat others, what you give to others, what you do for others, if you don't like it for yourself, then do it, don't do it for others. And that's the minimum. That's the minimum for a mentor of a leader. When he says let me know how many you truly have faith

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until you do this. The other level is what we call a ethos.

00:53:47 --> 00:53:50

And that is preferring others over yourselves.

00:53:51 --> 00:54:07

Not even the same level, preferring others over yourself. That means when you're buying something, or when you're doing something for someone, like even for yourself, you may not even do that. For them, you take it an extra level.

00:54:09 --> 00:54:17

When the guests, the guests come when the guests when they come, you don't just give them the food that you're eating.

00:54:18 --> 00:54:54

Right. You give them the food that you hardly ever eats. And you prepare give them the best the first three days, the first day, give it to them. And then after that, you know then they're just whatever you eat, that's what you give them also and based on your capacity and your ability of course. And so that's why if we were to practice, truly practice this, this hadith, then inshallah we will treat each other a lot better. Because we would speak to each other the way that we would want to be spoken to.

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And we would not be yelling at each other and this starts with what most

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people when they think about this, I think about people far away, but it starts with your family, such with your wife, your husband, and how we treat each other because how you talk to each other, how you treat each other affects how your children are going to be when they grow up because they learn from your actions. They learn from your actions. If you're a good husband and Sharla, your son will be a good husband also, if you're a good wife, Inshallah, your daughter will also be a good way. Inshallah, because you're setting examples for them, setting examples for them in terms of your love for each other. And of course, nobody's perfect, but focus on the positives and don't focus on

00:55:42 --> 00:56:05

the negative focus on character characteristics that you are that you know, that are praiseworthy, and try to forget and try to remind each other and help each other improve on now which needs improvement. So inshallah I'd like to enter right down and we ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us the best of this world in the Hereafter Inshallah, next week, we will speak about the next level, which is what, at least

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we'll have some stories also, this is just the introduction, introduction to this, putting this hadith about loving each other, showing the how they love each other for the sake of Allah, and also loving for your brother, what you love for yourself. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to

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give us the best of this world and the hereafter. So Mohammed said them, anyone have any questions?

00:56:31 --> 00:56:33

From almost

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00:56:36 --> 00:56:46

I don't want to go over 4050 minutes or 30 minutes it's like sometimes it's a bit long so child, ask us where to benefit from

None of you [truly] believes until

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