Yousef Bakeer – The Ultimate Goal When Raising Muslim Children
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In the Hamdulillah, Madhu who want to stay in who want to stop
Pharaoh, when I would rely to Allah mean truly and fusina will
say it I'm Melina now Manya de la HuFa la moody la la. Woman *
lil fella had yella why shadow Hola Hola. Hey Lola whadda hola
Shari color. Eyeshadow Anna, Mohammed and Abby who are Zulu.
Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran
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He says all believers have taqwa in Allah subhanho wa Taala which
means that we should be conscious of him, we should be aware of him.
And we should protect ourselves from his punishment and his wrath.
And we shouldn't allow ourselves to die, except in the state of la
ilaha illa Allah Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, I begin my hotbar by asking ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada first
and foremost, to send blessings and prayers upon our beloved
prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allahumma salli wa
sallim wa barik ala nabina wa Habibi, ana Muhammadan wa ala
early he was after he was added into steam and cathedra. About
in the time of Fitton, in the time, when the world is going
through certain values that's against the Islamic ones. When,
you know, we be in a time where people are constantly, you know,
advertising for this idea of individualism, this idea of living
for your own self, your own self, what matters, your desires, what
matters, your dreams, what matters, nothing else but
yourself. We live in a world when the idea of a family is being
overlooked.
When we think about the prophets of Allah cinemas approach, since
he came to Dawa, since he started up, you know, preaching to people,
in his mind was the idea of a family is establishing this sense
of family is a strength in this idea of family. The whole concept
of Islam was built on this idea of GEMA.
And, and that's why in the prophetic traditions, you will
find that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam constantly talking about
this idea of GEMA many Hadith that talk about this idea of being
together as a family of being together as a community, of being
together as an omen. During the prophets, Allah said, I mean one
of the most beautiful Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu sallam,
when he said that a wolf would not attack a sheep that's walking off
its flock. So if a group of sheeps are walking together, a wolf will
be so scared to go and attack that group. But if a sheep gets out of
this group, then a wolf is easier for the wolf to attack it. This
analogy the Prophet sallallahu Sallam has given us to just
highlight the importance of being united as an OMA and being united
as a as a community and then being united as a family.
Subhanallah you know, the idea of a family, the idea of freezing,
raising children in the US, or in the West in general, is something
that we constantly should think about as a community.
What are the things that we need to consider when it comes to
raising our children here?
At the end of the day, the end result? What's the end result?
What's the purpose? These are questions that we constantly
should we should ask ourselves? What is the purpose when raising
our children? I want to ask you this question and ask myself
so Allah in premarital
sessions that you give sometimes, what was asked those who are
considering marriage? I asked him, Do you want to have children? And
if the answer is yes, then I ask a follow up question. Why? Why do
you want to have to have
Children
what is the purpose? What is the reason? You know, in psychology,
they start speaking about, you know, the parenting and whatnot
once the baby is delivered, then they start talking about the
stages where the baby is going to be developed and then you know,
from zero to five, and then from five to you know, 12 and then you
know, pre puberty and then post puberty.
The Islamic approach is a little bit interesting, because it's
Allah interesting actually, because it talks about this idea
of parenting before even considering having a child. Allah
subhanaw taala. In the Quran is called said if kala timbral
outwear Imran to not be in other two laka Murthy, botany Mahara
in Raja Emraan, the mother or the wife of Emraan, the mother of
Maria Maria has Salam. She was concerned before giving birth,
before giving birth. She was concerned about what about the
child that is going to come to the world, the purpose of this child
and she said to Allah, Allah Allah, in order to like Emma for
the buccaneer, Mahara, ya, Allah, I dedicate my child in my womb to
you, your Allah, I want that child to be righteous, I want this child
to be somebody who leaves a mark in this world, I want this child
to see La ilaha illallah in this world. She was concerned about
this before giving birth. This is an AI mentality of a Muslim, we as
Muslims should ask ourselves, when building a family, what exactly we
want these children to look like? What is the purpose of having
these children, because if we are lacking that purpose, then by
default, our children will actually lack that purpose as
well.
Working with youth for the past, I would say 15 years,
you know, in different countries, either in Europe, or here in the
US in New Jersey, or here in Dallas.
And dealing with parents all times. It taught me something I
would to summarize all of this experience, I would say, number
one, first and foremost is is lack of purpose is the top of the
challenges that I've seen with families, lack of purpose,
everything evolves around this idea of purpose. The parents, if
the parents don't have that purpose clear, then by default,
the children were struggle to to actually find that purpose as
well. I see it. Two big things that, that this idea of purpose
comes to place. Number one, first and foremost when we talk about
this purpose, and before I give this finding purpose in life is
something that not only the Muslims are looking for, even the
non Muslims in the past 12 years, over 100,000 books were sold from
Amazon, that actually talk about purpose. People want to know their
purpose of life. People want to live meaningful life. I want to
know why am I here on this earth. I don't want to live like some
it's like, you know, like an animal. And we'll call him Robbie
Alana said something very profound about that this idea of purpose.
He said that the Allah subhanaw taala has created the angels with
purpose and no desires.
And Allah has created Allah subhanaw taala has created the
animals with desires but no purpose.
And then Allah subhanaw taala has created the human beings with
purpose and desires. So if then human beings are striving to find
that purpose, then they're getting closer to the angels. And if the
human beings are fully drowned by their own desires, just following
their own desires, then they're getting closer to the animals. And
then Immanuel Kant said, it might be the human beings higher in
status than the angels. Why? Because Allah has given us the
choice and that choice is the test. The angels lie as soon Allah
Amara Humvee only obey Allah. They cannot go against Allah's
obedience. But the human beings Allah has given us that choice
that tests
and so if we were to strive to find that purpose, we might be
higher status than the angels. And then he said that you will miss
can actually be worse than the animals.
Why? Because the animals don't have that choice. Allah has
created them this way. They're just you know, the drink and eaten
meat. This is what
Animals do. And so if the human being voluntarily decides to
follow to follow their, you know, desires blindly, then that's a
choice. You decide to follow your own desires.
And so going back to this idea of purpose,
you know, when talking when raising our children, we have to
emphasize this idea of the ultimate goal. As a child, I have
a mind that when I'm raising my child, I want that child to be
first and foremost, the son, my son, I want him I want him to be a
successful father, and husband.
And I want to preserve his Deen.
And for my daughter, I want my daughter, that's the ultimate
goal, the ultimate goal. I want my daughter to be a successful wife,
slash mother. And I want her to preserve her dream.
That's the summary.
I want them to be successful and building their future homes. And
that, by the way, will require a lot of work. We're not there yet.
We didn't talk about what actually can get us there. That requires a
series of lectures. But we're just breaking it down today in this
hotbed in sha Allah Tala, just to understand the the ultimate goals.
So we have it in mind, if we are lacking the ultimate destination,
then we will never be able to reach it.
I want to go to Florida, Florida is my destination. And therefore I
will plan accordingly to actually reach that destination. But if
that destination is not very clear to me, then I will get lost. And
Wallahi many parents over there, they're actually trying to find
that, you know, destination.
But again, if the destination is not clear, then we will end up
actually trying, and sometimes you're putting an effort in the
wrong in the wrong track in the wrong direction.
Bottom line is as Muslimeen we want to raise our children to
preserve a successful family.
While they're preserving their faith, to things
if we're able to actually evolve all of our efforts around these
two concepts, then Wallahi we're actually we're actually striving
towards achieving what Allah subhanaw taala wants to see from
us
how to do so this is a big subject. These are a series of
lectures. But that's the destination. That's the goal.
Preserving one is faith. Yes. Especially here in the West. Yes,
absolutely. Absolutely. When does that start? It starts with a very
young age, at very young age. When sometimes, you know parents come
to me and with with with problems with their teenagers. Sometimes
they look at them and say, You know what? It's too late now. We
can definitely try. We can, we'll definitely have to try. But it's
too late. And they look at me as like What do you mean, but what do
you mean by it's too late? I told them at the age at least at the
age of four. You start this journey of getting their hearts
connected to Allah subhanaw taala at that age for
and how so? This is what the Prophet sallallahu Sallam has done
has done it before with the Sahaba one of the Sahaba said Can they be
useful Allah Allah Salam, your alumina, l e man whom Al Quran,
Allah Mata alumna Al Quran is dead in that manner. He said the
Prophet was so concerned when I was young Sahabi was talking about
his own journey with the Prophet. So when I was young, the Prophet
salallahu Salam used to focus so much on this idea of, of nailing
and cementing this faith within our hearts a very young age, even
before teaching us the Quran, he used to teach us who Allah
subhanaw taala is,
who are the prophets before him and how their journey looked like.
All of that connects our children to Allah subhanho wa Taala it's a
journey.
Inside psychology they say the the thing that you do frequently in
your daily basis will have an impact on you on the long term. No
matter what you exercise every day. You're you're into
basketball, and your exercise you're working out every day. It
means that eventually you will be in shape and you will master that
sport. It's a fact. Imagine every day I remind my children are very
the first thing in the morning. The first thing in them
Morning, I take my children and I teach them to is to call them in
and know that the DUA that we should recite when we wake up in
the morning Alhamdulillah Allah the hyaena Didyma Matana we're
elating the show. Yeah, Allah, we thank You that You have given us
life after death. And we know that eventually we'll be restricted to
you or Allah. That's a dua that we all should say in the morning. But
just imagine your child at the age of three or four,
all of his life every single day. He reminds by himself by who, by
his Lord by Allah, and his thanking Allah for giving him life
on a daily basis. And then he's saying, Yeah, Allah, I know that I
will be restricted to you.
And then he starts the morning at car, and I make sure I make sure
that I actually sit down with my children and recite those altcar
in a daily basis. All of the earth car, the morning I've called the
moon Morning, guys evolve around what around Allah, His beautiful
names, his beautiful attributes, and reminding ourselves that
eventually we will go to him. Imagine in a daily basis, at the
age of three or 4am, actually reminding my child and reminding
myself by Allah subhanho wa taala.
Eventually, that has to have an impact on him growing up, you
might say, like brotherhood, but you're kind of making it so
simple. Right now, there's, you know, there is massive,
aggressive, you know, atheism, that's attacking our youth. I
understand that you acknowledge this. And I'm telling you, that it
starts here.
It starts here, at very young age at the age of three, yes, at the
age of three.
And then, teaching them the lives of the Sahaba of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam. The beautiful characteristics of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam call it a Shema in Abuja,
the beauty of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and
in teaching them the prophets before the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, then teach them as mal Prusiner at the beautiful
names and attributes of Allah subhanho wa Taala that eventually
will get their hearts attached to Allah subhanaw taala then when
they hit teenagers, when they actually 1516 1718 Now we actually
can enhance our conversation a little higher, and talk about you
know, theological, you know, aspects of our religion and what
you know, what are the proofs of the existence of Allah subhanaw
taala and we can talk about this, but build the foundation first. If
you have a child at this age, I urge you to consider this. Since
today, do not skip one day, every single day, every single day, when
they wake up the morning.
And before they sleep do I know
story time we talk about the prophets of Allah Islam the
battles of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, the way the Prophet
carried himself
the Rama of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Hikmah the
wisdom of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam some incidents that
happened and took place at his his lifetime and how the prophets
Allah Selim dealt with it
in a daily basis and routine Wallahi that is the best
investments that is the best investment that you can do to your
child at very young age.
Growing up, many other issues will appear.
And so Allah Tala muy, muy, if Allah subhanaw taala wills for me
to meet you again. I want to talk about each stage, each stage, and
what are the requirements of each stage? If I have if I have a child
at the age of 10, what are the major things that I need to focus
on when raising him? If I have a child in 1617?
What are the major things that I should focus on? Every stage has
its own techniques, you cannot deal with your child at the age of
four the same way you do with your child at the age of 15 and 16.
Every stage our children, their brain work differently at each
stage.
And therefore, this is this is a subject that I'm bringing to you
today. I'm just opening opening a conversation I guess, because
there is absolutely no way that it you know, in 25 minutes, we can
actually cover this huge subject, but I'm just open
Winning this conversation, opening this discussion,
what are our ultimate goals? And then each stage of my child needs
certain elements that I need to focus on. So I can actually raise
somebody who is successful building a family and who is
preserving his faith is preserving lack Allah illAllah Muhammad
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam maculicola had suffered
while you?
Smilla Rahmanir Rahim o salat wa salam ala Rasulillah paella alihi
wa sahbihi wa salam Sleeman Kathira Subhan Allah and the
Prophet sallallahu Sallam started his Dawa in Makkah, he did not
overwhelm the Sahaba with rulings with the rulings of cm with the
rulings of you know Salah with the rulings of Hajj. He did not focus
on all of that. He was only focusing on one element, one
element. And by the way, do you want to differentiate between the
mucky and Saudis and the Mediterranean surah in the Quran,
there is actually a very simple way to actually get to see that
difference. The mucky and Surah as all of the sewers will revealed in
Mecca, are focusing on this idea of la ilaha illAllah Muhammad
Rasul Allah, this idea of faith,
you will find Allah always speaking about, you know, his
creation, the creation of mankind, the creation of the universe, his
beautiful names, the way he described himself, all of that is
to do what is to make the Sahaba attached to that the ultimate goal
which is faith. And then eventually when they get this,
then that, you know, along the road they can build on that that's
the foundation. In Medina, Allah has revealed all of the Arcam all
of the rulings, but after what, after building the foundation,
first and foremost,
you will see Allah subhanaw taala and the McKeon sutras by the way I
would consider teaching my children first the mucky and
soulless, all the sores that talk about Allah and talk about his
creation. Make your child love Allah subhanho wa Taala young age
through the McKeehan source and the medina sewers of course, but
just the Macuser is like it's it's it's overwhelming information
about who Allah is beautiful,
beautiful and Sahaba Ludo Allah Allah him in Medina eventually the
the the just grew drastically why because they were hollows they
were built in this concept of faith was built in already. And so
in Medina, it was now the time where we go and we we did all the
ones for fights and battles and then the you came back to Mecca,
the conquered Mecca, the open Mecca, that you know, character of
a Sahabi, who was able to go back to his own town and open Mecca was
not, you know, built overnight. That's on the course of 13 years
of Makkah, cementing this idea of faith. So yes, it starts it takes
time. It's a long journey. It's a long investment, but Oh Allah,
it's worth it. I ask Allah subhanaw taala to make our
children steadfast under the rubble alameen and ask Allah
subhanho wa Taala to strengthen our children's faith here at
Carmela Grameen, Aloha MFI Luna de nobuna Westlife and FE M Rena with
a bit after them and also now call me Catherine along Marina haka con
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