On healing and trauma

Allahumma Salli ala Rasulillah Salam O Allah, Allah.

Allah Al hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah All praise is due to Allah, and may his peace and blessings be upon our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Mara okra Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh quantas kill Surya

Amaryl. Eman, welcome Coiba

a quick reminder

in sha Allah if you are planning on leaving, please keep it down as you're leaving. And if you're joining us, we'd love to have you in sha Allah.

So quick reminder again, I'm going to Iman Merkin McCoy over

in Islam, the way that we are taught about Iman, that is not a relationship with Allah subhanho wa taala. Where in exchange for your iman, Allah is going to reciprocated by Easylife.

Nowhere does it ever say this in the Quran.

And they say that this is such a dangerous way of viewing our relationship with Allah. Oh Allah because I have been a good believer, because I have been a practicing Muslim, because I have done my prayers, because I have done this, I expect in return.

I expect in return that I am going to have an easy life or in exchange of me believing in you and serving you. Somehow I am supposed to get a preferential

preference or I am supposed to be getting a better treatment. In other beliefs. This may be the case but not in Islam.

In fact, to the contrary, the Quran is not afraid to let people know that they will be tested

they will be tested.

Not only that, but Eman is not supposed the primary purpose of Eman is not to make this life easy. That's not the primary purpose of iman. The primary purpose of iman is to grant you salvation in the hereafter and Najafi.

That is the primary purpose of email.

However, it may have some secondary benefits in this life by giving us enough tools that when life throws challenges at us images give us these tools by which we can sail through them will allow him an edge mal Malkin Kelemen episode Allahu Allahu Allahu Karim Allah Subhana Allah. Well hon will knock on vishay middle Cove or wherever knocks him in a thermal rut. Usual be tested. Allah Subhana Allah tells us is Surah Bacara verse number 156 by means of a loss in lives, in fruits in livestocks by means of hunger, by means of feed, you will be tested.

But then the Quran says after that believers are going to react. What are they going to do? Believers are going to react and say in Allahu La Harada rune, you know, we came from him subhanho wa Taala and we shall ultimately return to Allah subhanho wa Taala and then the Quran says something really interesting hola ik allah him Salah to Mira beam Rama, whoa la eco human moto Dune, on such people who reacted this way to the adversities of life shall be upon them grace from Allah, mercy and blessings from Allah and they are the ones who have been rightly guided Musa Dooley ah, who can who like to do Bismarck and when was he Daya? Allah said that these people are guided but the Quran

does not tell us what it is that they were guided to.

Now,

eg Kalamunda Rizal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, and what we are witnessing nowadays in in Syria and in Turkey. Wala Hema podar arriba. Well, Cabal, wala highroller cool.

You know the amount of faith that people are displaying, wala who is mind boggling?

You will not believe and that is why one really wonders. How does a non Muslim make it through?

How does one who does not have faith

make it through this. Because what you see is people who have truly submitted to the way to the will of Allah subhanaw taala in ways that are so unbelievably beautiful, literally mind boggling.

How do you explain a

person just lost 24 members of their family 24 members of their family, you know, those of us who have lived in in the east, it's very common that in one building, mom and dad live here, and then their son, you know, and his family lives upstairs, and then the daughter in her family lives and then the uncles and then the Auntie's. So it's very common that one family would occupy one building. Somebody steps away, they go overseas, they are somewhere, they come back to find out that all 24 members of the family are debt.

How to explain this?

How do you handle this? And then when you see them, what do they say? Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, they're praising Allah Subhana Allah left and right. And they have literally submitted to the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala

interview in this guy

had lost 11 members of his family. And people came to him and they said, Good luck. How's your family and what does he say? Columbus or Ilana?

He said they're all doing well, except me.

Because those who have perished during the hands of a merciful God, he said they're all doing well.

The problem is, with me, there is all Allahu alayhi salam Ichigo. The Pahala with the Iman, Ravi Avila Europa will Islami Dena ovo Hamid sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and every year somebody will truly taste the sweetness of Eman for those who have accepted Allah as the Lord Ravi Avila Hara, but gave Allah had your baby Dobby Lucha al Radhiya Mila Hill Kony, will you help me luxury? How does one accept Allah Subhana Allah as the Lord, by accepting the decree of Allah and the universe, and by accepting the commandments of Allah subhanho wa Taala such a person is a person who is pleased and they have accepted Allah subhanho wa taala. And what we are seeing here is an unbelievable

amount of acceptance of the decree of Allah subhanho wa Taala you know, they're interviewing this young Syrian kid and they're saying, What is going on? And I'm listening to this guy, you know, supposedly you've been an imam for so long supposedly you had your degrees in Islamic studies, you read so many books, you you may know more. But looking at this 11 year old kid, and just listening to what the kid had to teach and preach, but he was doing it so effortlessly.

So effortlessly. What is going on said in your

the Atlanta Journal? What Allah gotta know Mom? Oh, Baba, you moved to walk the ultimate early businessman tell Caleb Alaba do ya yo yo minimoon you listening to this kitten? What does he say said Allah has decreed that I and my sister were spared. And Allah has decreed that my mom and my dad passed away. I invited my sister to come with me, but she did not listen. She didn't die because she did not listen to me. She died because it was her time to go.

This is an 11 year old kid. And he was saying it's so effortless, effortlessly. He was just speaking. Islam. You know, this idea of submitting to the will of Allah Subhana Allah Milaca. If Kalam and the beasts, and methylone Minica Zahra, he said that the parable of a believer is like that of a tender plant. Duck.

You know, when the wind blows, what does this tender, you know, plan do what does it do? It just goes along.

It just goes along. And then what happens is that for either secretary, but then when the wind comes down, what happens to that tender plant? It comes up again.

Then he said, We'll miss and we'll capture the parable of a believer Cal Arza is like a pine tree appears to be strong, appears to be very, very straight. And then he said that it attempts to withstand and then all of a sudden what happens it gets to be approved.

Did and by the way, if you go on your Google, you will find that pine trees are the ones that are most prone to fall especially when faced with a strong, sustained wind point trees are heavy up in the top. So the likelihood of them falling is very, very common.

So what does that mean? Is that sometimes you know, you are going to be faced with problems. So what happens?

Like I believe the prophets of Allah Azza wa sallam taught, there are certain, you know, challenges in life.

The only way to deal with it is cabal acceptance. Because trying to fight is irresponsible, foolish and fruitless.

So, what do you do? You accept when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would come and he would console people, what is it Lillahi wa Allahumma artha collusion and the Holy Spirit was better said he would console people and say not to Allah is what He has given to Allah, he's what he has taken. Everything with him is with do measure the patient, that that's it or not in the expecting your reward from Allah subhanho wa taala. So he said that the smartest thing would be that you are in the state of anticip. anticipating your your reward from Allah subhanaw taala. Whenever something like this happens, there are usually three victims.

There are the immediate victims, you know, when when we look into the mental health of the individuals, we're looking into the immediate we call the primary victims. These are the people who have actually witnessed the earthquake themselves,

be it they survived be their injury, or the fact that you have just experienced an earthquake, anybody by show of hands, anybody who had experienced an earthquake before

I lived in California, Walla, one of these scariest experiences ever.

The earthquake that I experienced was about 22 seconds long.

Now you say or Hamlet, 22 seconds. 22 seconds is a long time. It's an extremely long time.

In Turkey, I think this one was 40 seconds. At a long time, man. That is an extremely, extremely long time. And I remember it was when we first came to the States and we are in California and man, the earth shook in ways Subhanallah we literally froze with you read surah puzzles Allah before, you know you somehow you know know what earthquake, but experiencing earthquake. That is that is very, very scary, extremely scary.

So now you have these people who have gone through it.

We refer to them as the primary victims. Some people have been buried for such a long time and three days now, over 100 hours. So what happens is that, not only that, but we're told that people are out on the streets sleeping on the streets, because they don't feel that it is safe enough for them to go back home.

Not only that, but if you have experienced an earthquake after an earthquake, there are aftershocks

at do, which means that there is going to be a continuation of shaking taking place. And very common PTSD. If you've ever experienced any panic attack, if you've experienced something bad. Now you become afraid that the bad thing that just took place might happen again. So now you become afraid.

Is it safe enough to go home? Is it safe enough to get inside? And if I get inside? What happens if the earthquake comes again, earthquakes are not predictable? You know, they don't say like there is there is an Eclipse at this specific time and you better be here. You can do that. Nobody can say oh, that's it, you know, be fine. Everybody just go back home. Nobody in their right mind is going to tell you this. So now people have experienced it. And now people are afraid that it might happen again.

And now they're outside where it's very cold. It rains and there is a snow.

Man, what do you do to that?

And that's why Subhanallah the more you look into these people, like I said the way that they're handling things, the way that their dean is helping them to handle this is unbelievable man. You see some of the

best examples of what is going on just people handling this. I was looking into. And by the way that is, you know, that's how we heal, you know, people who are from a distance, you know, by just learning from these people in Saudi Arabia in Jeddah today, a group of Turkish people are coming from Morocco, you know, they finished their Umrah. They are on their way back to go back to Turkey to Istanbul,

the janitors at the airport,

you go into Turkey, the janitors, they call each other, they all collect money, they give it to these people back and say, Can you please take the money back and see if you can help people with it?

A janitor working with how much money are they making? But for them? Man, I want to do something to help these people.

This is what's going on. You've got the shopkeepers opening their shelves and nothing is for sale today. Take everything, take it to the people who take it to the people who need it.

You know, you hear about this? And you say, Man, the dean is beautiful man.

And that's why when Allah is it, it's mind boggling. People who don't believe, I don't know, how they make it through this kind of disasters. And that's why they say unwell Iman Yahoomail insane mental. Ill other see your will.

Because you're not the part of faith is that it protects people from asking silly questions.

Why me?

What have I done? What? These are silly questions, because they're useless that there is no, there is no answer, there is no answer to them. And by the way, we don't claim that we have answers to these things, we may be able to explain why an earthquake took place. But we can't really say why these people why this family why this building, we we you know, this idea of Abbath you know, this, this notion of a foolishness. So these are now the primary, the primary victims. And on our part, what do we do to this to these primary victims, obviously, safety is going to be of the essence to them to now what is it that they're looking for that night, man, it's just too cold. We want tents.

We want RVs not necessarily the car, but we want we want somewhere where people can feel safe get regain a sense of privacy and also their own space and having healthy. So safety is going to be very, very important. That's like the primary thing. Also remember that these people, the psychological impact may not necessarily be immediate, because now people are initially in a survival mode. In fact, I want I want to make sure that you know what, safety is very important. So we're only reacting to the to the safety and and what happens is that throughout we need continuous assessment of how people are dealing with this secondary victims, our

rescue workers and the people who did not necessarily you know, die or they will not necessarily immediate immediately impacted by this. But rescue workers.

Rescue workers are also psychologically impacted by this. By the way just to give you an idea, you know, inter can hamdulillah because it's you know, it's a country was developed country, you know, they had access to, but look into the people that were in Syria, you're trying to dig using their bare hands, what are you going to do when it is so cold? Your fingers are going to freeze within you know, minutes and how much they can Can you can you make and listen to this here is a rescue worker who can hear somebody calling for help, help help and then said that, and I can hear the sound, dimming and dimming and fainting away until there is no more sound.

What happens if the people just passed away? The person has just died, or you think that person is not psychologically impacted by what they just witnessed.

You also have to love the dean.

When they say if somebody

person walks out and what do you hear? Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Alhamdulillah Allah. Allah has incredible man. That is incredible.

This elderly Turkish lady, they finally reached her. Come out, sister. No, no can come out. What's going on?

I don't have my scarf. I want somebody to give me a scarf.

Girl just get out none

with any

Would you have blamed that woman if she came out?

Would anybody even notice that she did not have the hijab on?

religiously? Would anybody condemn that woman for coming out? What does he want?

I want my hijab, under allah has saved me, but I want my hijab on is beautiful man

watching this five year old kid, five year old girl, they finally reached her. And as soon as she sees this rescue workers, what did she say? Salam Alikum

salamati Are you serious? That's the first thing that came out of your mouth Assalamu Aleikum?

You know, so these things, you know, when when you expose yourself to this,

when you've got these rescue, orcas just pulling dead bodies, dead people. So rescue workers are also going to be impacted by this. And we call them the, you know, secondary victims. And then

there are US

people have been explored, you know, geographically and psychological proximity. You know, we were not there geographically, but there is psychological proximity. Maybe I have family members in that part of the world. And I know that Abu Sami his family, you know, his wife, you know, lost her nephew, along with the wife along with a one year old baby and, and the wife was pregnant, our condolences to the family.

It is because nobody expects we know that that's that's the way that we're going to perish. You know, some holidays, people went to sleep. And nobody had an idea that tonight was going to be the last night.

You think that does not impact the people who come to know this? About the people who still have family back in Turkey and Syria, reported over 500 aftershocks? It's like, man, what's going on today? We're still outside? What are they saying? Man there is. And now we know now that's being so long? Well, they're stopping the rescue missions. They call it recovery. What does that do to the spirit of the people? What happens to the father, the mother, the child that was anticipating that you know what family members were going to come out? What happens to the person who lives in Memphis, and they've been frantically trying to get a hold of their families, but they haven't heard

back from them?

So when it comes to these things, you know, believers come together.

Okay, and what do we do? lend support to each other? You know, sometimes Subhanallah just the fact that, like, I would do say, let me let me check out my Syrian friends, Syrian brothers and sisters in the community. Turkish brothers and sisters in the community would love to check on them and just to see, you know, what, how are they doing? How's the family doing? Please do not belittle these actions.

Wallahi do not belittle these actions. You know, somebody's checking on me. Somebody lending words of support. Somebody just given me a hug. That goes a long way, man. Wallahi it goes a long way, a story that I never get tired of telling. After Hurricane Katrina, a big African American brother walks into the volunteer center and says, I want to volunteer and people ask you have a boat? No, they have a truck. No, they have a float. You know, did you bring dry clothes? No. They have clean water? No. So what do you want to do, man? He said, Man, I've got no boat, no float, no truck, no dry clothes, no clean water. I am just going to stop. I'm going to be standing at that corner. And I

want you to make an announcement. Whoever wants a hug, I will give them a hug.

That is

that is sunnah because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that those who are going to be closest to me in the Day of Judgment, in Jannah, may Allah Subhana Allah make us all within the company of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said Has he lucuma halacha almost the owner, a kidnapper, a Latina foreigner, where you live. The best amongst you're going to be the closest to me are going to be those who have the best of character. Those who make their shoulders a place to comfort other people.

They are those who are loving and they are lovable.

Do not be nickel these things. They're not belittle a hug. Do not belittle a text. Do not belittle a phone call. Because with every hug, was every phone call, with every space that you create for people to just be to just cry

Yeah. And that is that is nice man. That is nice. Brother lost his father, he came to me that you have my father died. So I go into my so called chase mode. So in the mode, Lila Hema Alfredo and start making that because she

said I looked at music, I just want to hug man.

Get up, give him a hug and the brother starts bawling. I'm just holding him and just crying. He's doing nothing he's crying.

Five minutes later, he sits there, he looks at me and he goes, Man, you're the best chef.

You know, I became the best chef. Shut up, give me a hug.

Because sometimes, that's really what we want. We just want a shoulder to cry on.

I may not be able to explain to you why your family died. And I will not attempt to do any of that. But you know what, right now, maybe just giving a shoulder is going to be the best thing that I can offer you.

So do not belittle these things. Check in on each other, providing space for people. You know, the idea of, you know, just coming over for a cup of tea in somebody that just recently lost a loved one. When appropriate. You don't just let them just let them talk about their loss. Let them talk about how much they love the person that just passed away. Let them talk about the pain that they're going through. Let them talk about the challenges that they think they're facing. Making a safe space, non judgmental, safe space for people to be.

Member the key word here is safe, non judgmental.

Get a hold of yourself. Stop crying. Where is your server?

Bradford Salalah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was once walking by. And he sees this woman who lost her child. She is sitting on the grave. And she is wailing and screaming and the prophets Rosalind passing by said,

spirit.

Be patient may Allah grant your patient, woman wasn't paying attention.

And he said get lost in a column to supremacy but get lost. You don't know what it means to be in my position.

You don't know what it means to be in my position. It doesn't say anything he leaves.

And then later on people they go, by the way, the person that you just spoke to? This is Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So she comes to the prophet is a prophet. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I did not know that it was you. The prophets ISON does not go and rebuke her for How dare you that was not the proper way to he does not even go. He does not go near that. So we're looking for a safe, non judgmental space for people to just be

and sometimes giving our time,

our ease, making our shoulders a place to comfort people. One of the best gifts that we can give to people, one of the best gifts that we can give that we can give to people.

Second thing

and I hope I don't offend you, my brothers and sisters as fuzzy.

Okay, is this idea of, you know, to claim that because we're Muslims, we have an answer to every question is very dangerous.

Sometimes we actually don't have answers.

Even as believers, we really don't have answers and trying to make sense of everything. That's not what the deen is about.

The deen is about submitting to the will of Allah subhanaw taala. And that is what we do. And these are the type of stories that are just like I said, mind boggling when you see these people, you know, doing these things. And the elderly man, they finally reached him. He's down on his belly. There is a big rock, you know, hanging over him and Uncle, you know, just give us some time. We'll come and get you. What does he want? Can you roll a bottle of water for me? What do you want? Have you thirsty? No, no, no, no. I need to make water so I can make my prayers. Uncle just be quiet.

It was who's going to blame the uncle. If they don't pray. Physically. You're not even in the state. But what does he want to do?

He wants to pray.

He wants to pray. People are coming out as they're coming up. What are they doing? They're reading Quran. Little kids are coming out what are they doing? Thank ya Allah Allah Allah Malik with Gulia Allahu Allah, Allah subhana wa will be Gulia Allahu Allah says a good Muslim.

Little girl they go

Got it routing said, What are you doing? And I just kept saying, Yeah, Allah, Ya Allah, why did he say that? My father was saying Allahu Allah, and I just decided to repeat what my father was saying.

So you see this, and in the setting of people together, exchanging these stories, talking about these stories, there is a sense of healing that takes place.

Okay, there is solace that is exchanged in the, in the process. Of course, we're also looking for something that is practical. So what do you do, you know, like we did the other day, let's fundraise. Let's make sure that we take care of our brothers and sisters, let's make sure that you know what, right now is not the time for them to worry about food or drinks or anything like this, let's take care of this. Let's make sure that you know what their well clothes so that, you know, they're not exposed to the,

to the, to the cold. You know, seeing people who came in by trucks, this is like, in the outskirts in Syria, you know, these are already poor people. Brother pulls in with a truck. Because we have four bedrooms in my house. Four families can come with me, my family and I will take our room. Three families can also take you know, each one of them can take a can take a room. That's beautiful, man.

That is beautiful. You know, for people to say that I'm in good hands. No, man, I want to make sure that I you know, this idea of methylene blue meaning if Etowah de Matera homie, he moved out of him, the parable of believers in the mutual love that they have for the mutual kindness that they have the mutual compassion that they have for one another is like one body, when one part of it aches, the rest of the body response. And this is the beauty of what of what we see supporting the people who support supporting the rescue workers supporting this and

and, of course, the people who were the primary victims of this. And then the final point is the power of the

you know, sometimes we are a bit selfish was to say, you make the out to feel good.

That is selfish.

Don't make the art to feel good, man, you make dua because you truly believe it will make a difference.

Imagine that, you make a dua because you truly believe it will make a difference to the people that you make two out to.

Now, by extension, you may feel good about making the DUA, but the primary motive should not be so that I feel good.

Or the brother who said, Man, I feel so bad for the people of Turkey and Syria. So what he just said, I decided to fast and add before I break my fast, I make my dua to the people there. Why do you do that? I want to make sure that my dua is accepted by Allah subhanaw taala. So I do all these things in order for my dua to be accepted by Allah subhanaw taala.

And like I said, this is not a one time thing, but rather this is a process, you know, talk about it today. Talk about it tomorrow, talk about small gathering and big gathering, you know, motivate, I think today, somebody suggested an orphanage somebody is talking about in our law, hey, if there is a child out there inquiring about how do I adopt these children, and many times, you know, supporting the people who are already there, doing the support is actually a much a much better way. I could not really confirm this today. But you know, somebody suggested that please do not send any clothing. We have enough clothing.

It's it's a bigger discussion. But sometimes, you know, they say that, you know, the type of aid that we send from here sometimes ruins the local economy.

Okay, well, right now, you also know part of what you pay attention to is the local economy. Well, if these people already are making blankets, and they have blankets, they already have clothes over there. So rather than doing this, so that helped by buying what is already local there. And that helps people rather than sending food from here, if they have already farmers who have the ability to help them by their, by their food, because by extension, you're helping the economy recover. You don't want to create dependency, you want to offer independence, but whatever way you see fit, please insha Allah make sure that we we help in this help in this process. And please keep them in

your prayers. So for all of those who have perished, may Allah Subhana Allah grant them that ranks of the martyrs Europa Island

mean, you know and that is such a beautiful way that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam consults people who have died such a death. You know people die in such a way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in our shahada Oh, Hamza, there's five types of martyrs and one of them is Aladdin. It imagined he'd just been stuck there, in one position, unable to breathe. It's not not that is not a nice way to die. My last hands are the same as Europa Alameen. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam said in exchange, people have patiently put severe Allah Subhana Allah grants in the status of a martyr So for all those who have perished, may Allah Subhana Allah grant

them the status of the martyrs, for those who are alive unstuck. May Allah Subhana Allah make way out for them. For those who have injured May Allah Subhana Allah grant them a full and speedy recovery for all the rescue workers may Allah Subhana Allah bless them European Parliament, bless their families, bless their health and bless their wealthier upper Alameen. And for all those who are naked and outside May Allah subhanaw taala grant them a safe place and a safe space Europa al Amin, and may Allah Subhana Allah help us in doing our best to help them Europa. Alamy Allahu Allah, Allah