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Is This Love Im Feeling

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Yasmin Mogahed

Channel: Yasmin Mogahed

Episode Notes

Is This Love I’m Feeling?
By: Yasmin Mogahed

Serenity Podcast

Presented on February 21, 2011

This lecture talks about the perilous-ness of infatuation with a created object or a person. It explains who this kind of love can really take someone away from Allah and down a dangerous slope toward shirk. She talks in a way that is easy to listen too without judgment. She explains how we are tested in many ways by Allah. That we are tested not only in bad things happening to us but also in good things happening to us (ie. to make us forget Allah in our good times and in such be diverted from his love and grace.

I like this lecture a lot. It is a beneficial reminder to us in a time when many people are obsessed or becoming obsessed with material items and commercialization. So many people are upgrading their property and even wives/husbands for the next best thing, as Yasmin points out in this lecture. It is said that people today don’t find the gratitude in their situations and instead live a life of depression and wanting.

I recommend this lecture to any adult muslim or non muslim living in a confusing times. A person who really doesn’t have a way in this life and is lost would benefit from the direction yasmin hints at, the direction of worshiping Allah, the one true God.

by Sister Lisa

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Santa Monica, this is Yasmin Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. So Love is in the air, or at least that's what the advertisers want you to believe this month. So we, we've just had Valentine's Day. And as you know, as when Valentine's Day comes around once a year, it's basically the the heat or the Christmas for floral boutiques and chocolate shops. But even amongst such commercialized defections, we can hardly keep from thinking about those that we love. And while we do, we're inevitably faced with some very important questions.

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I was actually reminded of some of these questions when I reflected on something a friend of mine had told me, she described how it felt like to be with the person she loved. In her words, the whole world disappeared when they were together. And now the more I reflected on her statement, the more it affected me. And the more it made me wonder, see, as human beings we are made to feel love and attachment towards others. This is a very natural part of our human nature. While we can feel this way about a human being five times a day, we actually enter into a meeting with our Creator, our Lord. And I wondered how often we ever felt the whole world disappear when we were in his presence.

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Can we really claim that our love for Allah is greater than our love for anything and anyone else? See, so often, we think that Allah only tests us with hardships. But this isn't true. A lot also tests us with ease. And he tests us with blessings, and with the things that we do love. And it is often in these tests that so many of us fail, we fail because when Allah gives us these blessings, we unwittingly turn them into false idols of the heart. When a law for example, blesses us with money, we depend on the money rather than a law. We forget that the source of our provision is not and never was the money itself. But rather, it was the giver of that money. Suddenly, we're willing

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to sell alcohol or avoid just to avoid losing that money in our business. Or we need to take out loans with interest to feel secure. But in so doing, we're foolishly and ironically disobeying the provider, in order to protect the provision.

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When Allah blesses us with someone that we love, we forget that Allah is the source of that blessing. And we begin to love that person, as we should only love Allah. That person becomes the center of our world, all our concerns, thoughts, plans, fears, and hopes revolve around them. If they are not our spouses, we are sometimes even willing to fall into haraam, just to be with them. And if they were to leave us, our whole world would crumble. So now we have shifted our focus from the source to the blessing

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itself. Now Allah says about such people, he talks about them in the Quran, and he says, and yet, among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals to him. They love them as they should love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in their love for Allah. And this is sort of tillbaka verse 165. It's because of this tendency to lose sight after Allah has bestowed us with blessings that Allah warns us in the Quran when he says, and this is also an area in the Quran that says, say, oh Mohamed, if your father's your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce, wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased, are

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more beloved to you, then Allah and His messenger and struggling in his cause, then wait until Allah executes his command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people. It's important to note here that all the things listed in this area are all Hillel. They're all permissible. It's permissible to love your father that's permissible to love your sons is permissible to love your brothers, your wives, your relatives, even your you know your dwellings. Yet, although these are all permissible.

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The problem is when we love these things more than Allah and His Messenger, and that that struggle for his cause.

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And it's, you know, the the point here is that the warning, it's so it's very, very important to note

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Is that it's not just our you know, the warning is not just in the things which are harm, but it's in taking those things which are Hillel and turning them into idols of the heart. In fact, these things that are listed in this area are blessings and signs of Allah. On the one hand, Allah says that, and this is an alien suta room, Allah says, and from among his science is that he created for you from among yourselves, mates, that you might find tranquility in them. And he placed between you affection and mercy, indeed, in that are Signs for people who give thought. So on the one hand, these things are actually a sign and a blessing of God, all of these things listed in the area. But

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on the other hand, Allah warns us, he says, All you will have believed indeed, among your spouses, and your children are enemies to you. So be aware of them. The warning in this area is very critical. Now, is it I mean, Allah is telling us that they're enemies, is it because they're trying to hurt us know, our spouses, and our children are listed here, because they are among the blessings that we love the most. And it's in that which you love the most that you find the greatest test. So if conquering that test means seeing through a storm of greeting cards and roses, to a greater love that awaits, then so be it. And then you'll see. And so that's when you What could I mean, really,

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right now is the time when that's most relevant. Because now is the time when, you know, love is in the air. It's all over advertisements, especially during Valentine's Day. But one very important aspect of this that we have to keep in mind is when we turn love into worship. Now, a lot of times people ask the question, does romantic love exist? In Islam? What does it look like? And what does it not look like? So what I want to do actually is I want to tell begin by, by by telling a story. And it's actually a story, which is a true story. Although the names are changed in the story. I'm going to begin with a story and then I'm going to talk about the lesson that we can really learn

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from the story because it's actually a story that a lot of us may be able to relate to in one way or another. Now, the story begins with a woman and when Sarah met I met, she immediately knew he was everything that she had always dreamed of. meeting him was like watching the sunrise in the middle of a snowstorm. His warmth melted the cold, but soon, admiration turned to worship. Before she could understand what had happened. sada had become a prisoner. She became a prisoner of her own desire and craving for that which she adored. everywhere she looked sought us on nothing but him. her greatest fear in life was displeasing him. He was all she could feel, and without him happiness had

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no meaning. leaving him made her feel as though her soul was being peeled from her very being. Her heart was consumed with only his face, and nothing felt closer to her than him. He became to her like the blood in her very veins. And the pain of his existing without him was unbearable, because there was no happiness outside of being with him. But sada thought she was in love. We'll go ahead and take a break now. And when we get back, we'll talk about what happened with SATA. And

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welcome back. This is Yasmin Mujahid and you're listening to serenity on one legacy radio. And we're talking today about love and what happens when we believe that we're in love, but it becomes like worship. And we're telling the story of sada and Ahmed Musa, again these are not real names, but it is a true story. And in the story, we you know, we talked about how sort of felt about athletes and how she felt like there was no happiness outside of him. And everything basically revolved around him her greatest fear in life was displeasing him and she didn't she didn't know any kind of basically pleasure outside of being with him. Now, here's the irony. SOT thought she was in love.

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sada had been through a lot in her life. Her father walked out on her when she was a teenager. She ran away from home when she was 16. She battled drug and alcohol addictions. She even spent time in jail. But all of the pain combined could not compare to the pain that she would

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To know, inside this new prison of her own making, soda became a captive inside her own desires. It was this captivity that infinita Edna Tamia Rahim Allah is one of the great classical scholars spoke of when he said, the one who is truly imprisoned is the one whose heart is imprisoned from God. And the captivated one is the one whose desires have enslaved him. the agony of sadhas worship of Ahmed was more intense than the agony of all her previous hardships. It consumed her butt never filled her. And like a parched man in the middle of a desert sada was desperately pursuing a mirage. But what was worse was the torturous result of putting something in a place only God should be sought. A

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story is so deep because it demonstrates a profound truths of existence, as human beings were created with a particular nature and that nature is called fitrah. That fitrah is to recognize the oneness of God, and to actualize this truth in our lives. Therefore, there is no calamity, no loss, no thing that will cause more pain to us than putting something equal to God in our lives, or in our hearts. [???] on any level, breaks the human spirit like no worldly tragedy ever could. By making the soul love, revere or submit to something as it should only God, you're contorting the soul into a position that it by its very nature was never ever meant to be in. To see the result. The reality of

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this truth, one only has to look at what happens to a person when they lose their object of worship. On July 22, The Times of India reported that a 40 year old woman committed suicide in her home by pouring kerosene all over her body and setting herself on fire. The police said it appeared that the suicide was a quote extreme step because she was unable to conceive a child over 19 years of marriage. In another story on July 16, police reported that a 22 year old man committed suicide after his girlfriend left him.

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Now most people could sympathize with the pain of these people, and most would be heartbroken in the same position. But if having a child or a particular person in our life is our reason for being something is terribly wrong. If something finite, temporary, and fading becomes the center of our life, or our reason for existing, we will surely break.

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The imperfect object that we place at our center will by definition fade, let us down or pass away and our braking will occur as soon as it does. What happens if while you're climbing a mountain, you hang on to a twig to hold your weight. The laws of physics, physics tell us that that twig which was never created to carry such weight will break. And the laws of gravity tell us that it's then that you will most certainly fall. This is not a theory. It is a certainty of the physical world. This reality is also a certainty of the spiritual world. And we are told of this truth in the Quran. Allah says

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people here is an illustration. So listen carefully. Those who you call on besides God could not even if they combined, all their forces create a fly. And if a fly took something away from them, they would not be able to retrieve it. How feeble are the petitioners? And how feeble Are those the petition? The message of this area is deeply profound. Every time you run after seek or petition something weak or feeble, which by definition is anything other than God, you also become weak or feeble. Even if you do reach that which you seek, it will never ever be enough. You will soon need to seek something else you will need to you will never actually reach that true contentment or

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satisfaction. That's why we live in a world of trade ins and upgrades. Your phone, your car, your computer, your woman your man can always be traded in for a newer, better model.

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But there is a freedom from this slavery. When the object upon which you place all of your weight is unshaken on

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unbreakable and unending then you can't fall. You can't break. A law explains this truth in the Quran. When he says, There is no compulsion in religion, true guidance has become distinct from error. So whoever rejects false gods and believes in God has grasped the firmest handhold. That never breaks. God is all hearing and all knowing when what you hold on to is strong you to become strong, and with that strength comes the truest freedom. It is of that freedom that in the Tamia Rahim Allah said, What can my enemies do to me, I have in my breast both my heaven and my garden, if I travel, they are with me, never leaving me. imprisonment for me is a chance to be alone with my

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Lord, to be killed his martyrdom and to be exiled from my land is a spiritual journey.

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By making the one without flaw, and or weakness, the only object of his worship in the Tamia describes and escape from the prison of this life. He described a believer whose heart is completely free. It's a heart free of the shackles of servitude to this life and anything in it. It's a heart that understands that the only true tragedy is the compromise of tawheed, which is the true oneness of God, and that the only insurmountable affliction is the worship of anyone or anything other than the one worthy of worship. It's a heart that understands that the only true prison is the prison of replacing something with God. Whether that object is our own does our one's own desires, their

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neffs, ego, wealth, job, spouse, children, or the love of one's life, that false deity will entrap and enslave you, if you make it ultimate. The pain of that bondage will be greater, deeper and longer lasting than any other pain, which could be inflicted by all of the tragedies of this life. The experience of Prophet Yunus Allah His solemn, is so crucial to internalize. When he was trapped inside of the belly of the whale, he had only one way out, turning completely to Allah, realizing Allah is oneness and his own human frailty. His diet encapsulates this truth in such a profound way. He said, La Ilaha Illa, Anta sapan, aka in nikuman of volume mean, there is no god but you Glory be

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to You, I was indeed wrong. Many of us are also trapped inside the belly of the whale of our own desires, and objects of worship.

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It is our own selves which we become enslaved to. And that imprisonment is the result of putting something where only God should be in our hearts. And in so doing, we create the worst and most painful of prisons. Because while a worldly prison can take away what is temporary and inherently imperfect, the spiritual prison takes away what is ultimate, on ending and perfect, and that is a law and our relationship to him. We'll take a break now. And when we return, we'll continue talking about what love is and what love is not.

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Welcome back. This is yes mean wicha hits and you're listening to serenity on one legacy radio. And we're talking today about love what it is and what it is not. How do you know when you're in love? How do you know when you're not?

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You know, go ahead and please join the discussion. You can call us in at 1-800-955-5548. Or, you know, add your you know, ask your questions, give us your comments on the chat box. You know, when we got one question on the chat box, and I want to address the question, the question is, what can we do to focus on the love of Allah without taking the people in our lives for granted? And this is a really excellent question. So basically, to answer this question, this is in the realm of halal relationships. So basically, we can we can separate relationships into two basic types. There's the halal relationship, the relationship which is sanctioned by lights, it's it's allowed, and then

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there's the hot on relationship, the relationship outside of marriage, for example, between a man and a woman. Now, even within a Hillel relationship, how can we

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Focus on still the love of Allah without taking the people in our lives for granted. And really the way to do that is to see the people in our lives for what they are. And that is a blessing and a sign of God. And this is something that Allah tells us in the Quran that that love that he puts, for example, between a husband and wife, that that is a sign of a law, that that love and that Mercy is a sign of a law, and it's a blessing of Allah. And so what we should do is, we should take that, and we should, and we should appreciate it. And we should appreciate it as a gift from Allah. But we should never take it and make it our, you know, our source of, of worship in the sense that our

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focus should still be on Allah subhanaw taala. And that realizing that this is this is a sign of him, this is a gift, that this is actually a means by which we can get closer to Allah. But the problem that I think a lot of us fall into, is when God gives us blessings, what we do is we take those blessings. And instead, we make them our focus, we make them at the center of our life, we take them almost as a false deity. And that and instead of realizing that this is a means to get closer to God, we take those things as the end themselves. And sometimes, for example, we get in a situation where we want to get married, we're in a situation we want to get married. And it's almost

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as if marriage becomes this goal in life, it becomes the end, which we are, we are, you know, everything we do is basically with that end in mind, right? The way we dress, the way we act, what we think about what we strive for, and it's just it becomes such an obsession, that it's it becomes an end in and of itself. Whereas marriage is never meant it was never meant to be an end in and of itself. It's not the purpose of our life. It's not our goal, as we, as we see, for example, in movies, where it's like, you see the whole story, and then the story ends at the wedding, right? Or it ends once the relationship happens as if, as if that was the goal. And that was the end. Well,

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then what what then after that, the point here is that even marriage itself is not and was never meant to be an end in and of itself. It is only a means and Allah tells us through His prophets, I send them that marriage is half of your deen. What does that mean? It means that this is a means by which we can get closer to Allah and by which we can actually strive in our Deen. It's something that we should use as a means and not an end in and of itself. And so, you know, again, the thing is that we should never take those blessings of God for granted. But at the same time, we should never take those blessings as the end where Allah is the only end. The other question now is, I mean,

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that's kind of in terms of, you know, the relationship which is sanctioned by Allah, which is Hillel, which is within marriage, but then there's the relationships that happen outside of marriage. And when we talk about those, we have to introduce a new

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term, and that is the term and that term is hella Hauer is what basically masquerades as love, but it's not love, however, is actually lust and desire. And so, a lot of times what we see in movies and in books and in literature is actually desires, it's actually lust, but it comes in the form of love. And so we get very deceived by that. And we believe that it's true love. But basically,

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one thing to take home is this that there is a very the litmus tests to know whether or not what you feel is based on your health, your neffs or if it's something which is true love from from Allah subhanaw taala. And the way to tell the difference is by looking at whether or not getting closer to that person that you love, brings you closer to Allah subhanaw taala. is loving that person helping your relationship with God, or is it harming your relationship with God? Ultimately, the question you have to ask yourself, is that person replacing God in your life and in your heart? And and basically, we have to ask ourselves at the end of the day, what do we love most? Do we love God the

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Most? Do we love pleasing God the Most? Or do we love something else more? And in which case we choose that even if it displeases God, so, you know, we'll end there and and I want to actually before before we end, I want to ask everyone to please keep the people of Libya, in your doors in your prayers. They are, they are being killed. And you know, they're there. They're struggling against an oppressor and we pray that Allah subhanaw taala gives them Nasir and protects them and all of those who are oppressed all over the world, and inshallah Tune in next week to serenity As salam aleikum wa rahmatullah.

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Well, better cattle