Facing The Storm Dealing With Painful Treatment From Family

Yasmin Mogahed

Channel: Yasmin Mogahed

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This is Yasmin Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are back today it is Jamal, Jamal Mubarak to all of you, I hope that inshallah you are having a blessed Ramadan, we are almost nearing the the last portion of this blessed month Panama does go by so quickly before you know it and you know we're in the last 10 nights. inshallah Today we are going to be talking about an issue that I've received a lot of questions about and it is about what happens when a person is trying to practice their Deen, maybe someone is trying to increase in their, in their religious devotion are trying to increase in their practice. And they are they are facing

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resistance from their family or those people who are near to them. I have a lot of a number of questions, for example about sisters who are decided to put on the hijab or want to put on the hijab and then seek and then face a lot of resistance from their family members, from their parents, from their, from their siblings. And and, you know, this, this is actually a quite common theme that, you know, a concern that that a lot of people have shared with me. So inshallah, I'm going to be discussing that struggle, and how we should respond to this to this test of Allah subhana wa Tada. I also will be covering questions about what happens when, again, because of maybe the level of

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practice or maybe the the child is, is trying to be more committed to the deen. And so when they're now seeking a spouse, when they're now in the process of looking for marriage, the criteria that the child, the person themself is using, becomes very different than the criteria that his or her parents might be using. And so then there's, again, this clash between the two, and how do we approach that issue and and and address it and respond properly inshallah? Well, to begin with, one of the I'll read, and and you know, subpanel, I also want to actually end this show with a very inspirational story about this exact situation. But inshallah, I'll begin by sharing some of the

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questions that I received on this topic. One says,

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I've recently been feeling closer to Allah once again after a period of being far from him. The truth is, I have people close to me in my life who discourage me every time I take a few steps towards a lot and try to embrace my faith again. For instance, my mother does not want me to wear the hijab, she constantly gets sleeveless, traditional eveningwear tailored for me.

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We are Pakistani and gives me a hard time about my weight, I have gained a lot of weight, and states that I can't reveal my quote, assets, because of my weight. I am also in a relationship long distance, I am in Canada, and he is in Pakistan, and he constantly says he wants a, quote, pious marriage. But every time I move towards my faith, he discourages me, I feel it is a hypocritical, double standard, and want to break it off at times, because it's keeping me away from what I should be doing. Please help me I am in need of some encouragement. And the ones close to me are not helping. I know you must be super busy, but I understand if you can reply. So what what, what this

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person is going through and what this person is struggling with, is something that I think, you know, across the board, a lot of people face, sometimes we we want to do certain things or we want to a particular level of religious devotion, or we were trying at least, and our families don't follow suit, in this situation, to the sister. First and foremost, there's a couple principles that we should make very clear. The first principle is that obedience to the parents is something that is very much emphasized in Islam. Yes. However, the the first principle that we need to understand is that there is no obedience to the creation, in contradiction to the commands of the Creator. There

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is no obedience to the creator in disobedience to the I'm sorry, there's no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator. If if some human being if some person no matter who they are, whether they're your husband, or your wife, or your parents are asking you to do something, which is displeasing to Allah subhanaw taala which is how Tom Okay, something

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Now, which is how long because now we have other issues which are more in the gray area and I can, inshallah address that separately about issues such as getting involved in Samak work, dow MSA. Now that's a different category, I want to clarify right now that I'm talking about issues which are hot, um, if your parents are telling you to do something hard on something that will be displeasing to Allah subhanaw taala or trying to prevent you from doing a, a an obligation upon you, for example, trying to prevent you from fasting, trying to prevent you from praying, trying to prevent you from wearing hijab, these are obligations that Allah Subhana Allah has put on us, if our parents

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are preventing us, or trying to prevent that or, or asking us not to do it, we cannot obey that particular command, because it's in disobedience to the Creator. The second principle is in the mannerism. So even when your parents are telling you to do something which is displeasing to Allah subhanaw taala, we still have to keep the the bar high in terms of sn in terms of how we interact with that with with our parents, even if our parents are telling us to do something wrong, we still have to treat them kindly, we still have to treat them with respect, and still treat them with Sn. And we know of a story in the Quran. And when when, during the time of the Prophet, so I sent him

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there was a companion who had embraced Islam and his mother was very against it. So his mother was trying to push him to, to leave Islam. So now, this this, this parent is not just asking the child not to wear hijab or, or you know, something, something of that sort, but actually asking the child to become a non believer, something very, I mean, the most extreme thing. And so this, this individual, this companion responded to his mother in kind of a harsh way, obviously, he's not going to leave his faith and denounce his faith. But the way in which he responded was in a harsh way. And it was it was to the effect of if, if your soul, because what she was doing was she was trying to

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sort of, you know, when our parents they try to guilt trip us or they try to threaten. So, what she was doing was she was she was, it was a little bit of an emotional blackmail that she was trying to do. She's saying, you know, if you don't leave Islam, I will do X, Y, Z to myself, right, kind of, to make him feel like really pressured to do it, to obey her. So his response was, you know, if your soul if you had something like 100 souls, and each one left one by one, I still wouldn't leave this faith. So even his response, it was a little bit harsh, and he was actually rebuked for the way in which he responded to his mother. Now think about this, for a moment this reflect on this, our

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parents asked us to clean our room, right, where I parents asked us to vacuum or, or something like that, and, and we respond rudely to that. Imagine this person is being held accountable by Allah subhanaw taala and His Messenger for responding, you know, not such a polite way to the commandment to become a Catholic to become a non believer to leaving to leave a stem completely. Imagine if we're doing that when our parents are telling us to do something, actually, for our own good or something neutral. So Subhanallah this this second principle of, of the the, the treatment, the level of treatment that our parents deserve, actually, it's, it's applicable, regardless, it's

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applicable regardless of whether or not we actually can obey them in their command, whether or not we can actually do what it is that they want us to do. But regardless, we have to still uphold that level of SN and that level of, of kind treatment towards our parents, even if they were calling us to cover. So those kind of those two principles, one that you don't obey the the creation, in disobedience to the Creator. And second that you you continue to have that level of access. And the second one is a lesson, especially when dealing with our parents, especially when dealing with our mothers. This is a principle that we have emphasized in Islam again and again. The prophets I send

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them has said that when when asked who is who is worthy, who is most worthy of my kind treatment, and he responded by saying your mother and then when he was asked who next he said your mother a second time and when he was asked again, he said your mother a third time and then following that when asked again he said your father from this Hadeeth we learned the importance of treating our mothers especially very kindly and our fathers as well. so in this situation, the sister she's dealing with, you know her mother is is is asking her or

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kind of pushing her to show her assets I guess.

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And in terms of her physical, I guess appearance and in the way she's dressing. And obviously, obviously, this is not something that islamically we should be doing. So in this, this is a very practical case of when you cannot obey the the parent and in what they're asking you to do. However, it does not give you a license to be rude. It doesn't give you a license to be harsh or disrespectful, but respectfully disobey This is called respectfully disobeying, when it comes to something which is haram, when it comes to something which is an obligation on you, by your Creator, only then do we respectfully disobey.

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Similarly, you know, with regards to the the proposed marriage, I think it is very, very important that before we enter into a marriage, that we we, first of all, we pray a staccato and we ask Allah subhanaw taala, to do what's best for us. But also, keeping in mind, these are very important questions, if Deen is something that's important to you, and there are certain practices that you're going to want to do, you're going to want to wear hijab, you know, it's very important to you, that you pray five times a day, at least, and that your family does, it's very important to you that, that they could is part of your, your, your family, that, that, that if those things are important

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to you, it's very crucial that you find a spouse that has those, those same types of values. And so I would say if you are considering someone, before marriage, take those things very seriously, if that person is not supportive from from now, okay, because a lot of people unfortunately, they, they say that they'll be supportive, they pretend, before marriage, you know, kind of just to get the deal signed, they say, Yes, we'll support you. And you can do this, and you can do that. And then unfortunately, some people switch and some people change after marriage and go back on their word. But if someone from the very beginning even before you're getting married, is is openly opposing

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these things is, for example, openly opposing you wearing hijab, or as openly opposing you, you studying or going on, you know, to get a higher degree or whatever it is that that you want to pursue, for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala if they're openly opposing it from the beginning, well, it's not very wise to assume that it's going to get better. Because usually people are trying to put their best face on before they get married, not their ugliest face, right. So if the best face is looking in a way that's causing conflict, you probably don't, you know, you're probably what's going to come after that it's not going to be better, but may may even get worse. So it's something to

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take very, very seriously. And in terms of encouragement, when you are being faced with this opposition to what you are trying to do for Allah Subhana with Allah. This is where you need to understand that throughout history, from from the beginning of time until the end of time, those who try to stay on the straight path will always seek resistance or will always face resistance in one way or another. This is sort of the Sunnah of of the path. When Allah subhanaw taala tells us in sort of the last in this surah Allah subhanaw taala is, is speaking about a particular group of people, but but begins by making an oath by time were lost in Al insana, lfu history indeed, mankind

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is in a state of loss Illa So, generally overall, mankind is in a state of loss. But there is a particular group of people who are excluded from this universal state of loss. We know that we're losing in this life we know that every moment that we live, we're losing time we're losing health we're losing beauty we're using we're losing youth we're losing money we're losing right This life is tending towards perish man, this is a temporary world and a temporary life and everything in it is temporary. kulu Manali, fun, but there's only one group of people who are not losing from this life, who are actually gaining and who are actually keeping. And it's only those things which we

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give to Allah subhanaw taala it's only those things that we do for him, that we actually hold on to everything else, whether we do it for ourselves, or we do it, you know, in opposition to the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala is all perishing and we won't be able to hold on to it. And we know from there is a prophetic, beautiful prophetic tradition, where I shadowed Ilana, there was an animal where she had given a portion of the animal for a charity and she had kept a portion and she told the prophets I send them I kept your favorite part of the animal. And he said, No, you have given. So when when when the part that she had

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She had kept the part that she thought was his favorite. And she had given the rest. And he said, No, you gave away the the favorite part and you kept the the rest. So what what is what do we learn from this Hadeeth alchemical, what we learned from this hadith is that it's the portion that we give to a law that we give for his sake, it was the portion she gave for charity that she was actually holding on to, that she would actually keep. And it's the portion that we keep for ourselves that we we ultimately lose. So Subhanallah, very deep lesson here. And Allah subhanaw taala describes Who are those people? Who are what are the characteristics of those people? Who will hold on to anything

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from this life? And who will be saved from this universal state of loss? In levena? Am I know what I mean? No, slowly, Hattie auto also been happy with the loss of a sub, except those who believe and who do righteous deeds, and who enjoin one another to truth, and who enjoy one another to patients. And when you study the Tafseer of this very powerful few is, you'll find that when you look at those four characteristics, it basically defines the personality of a moltmann, the personality of a believer, first, there has to be belief, there has to be the faith, the proper belief in one's heart. But that belief in the heart is not enough, it must be manifest in action. So Allah Vina me

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know what I mean, a solid hat, they believe, and they do righteous deeds. Now, one could say that I believe, and I'm doing good for me, in my, you know, just personally, I'm doing good deeds, and I'm believe, but is that ultimately enough? There is two more characteristics here. And that has to do with what am I doing for the society? What am I doing for others, because the last two characteristics are about others in joining in joining one another to truth, so calling to truth fighting for truth, standing up for truth. And then the last one is what I want to focus on here. What the loss of water was about hockey with the loss of the sub, the last one is with the loss of a

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sub. Why would after these other three, so the previous three, were believing and doing righteous deeds, and then enjoying truth? Why then would you need this fourth one, and Scott and commentators say that the fourth one has to do with patience, enjoying one another to patience, and what they say is that if you are going to take the path of belief, and righteous deeds and truth, you're for sure going to need patience. And that is because a characteristic of those path paths, a characteristic of that path is that you will face hardships and you will face obstacles. This is just a part of the path itself. In order to be able to be successful, you have to have the whole package you have to be

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willing to believe do righteous deeds call and call to truth, but you have to have patience. Without the fourth characteristic of patience, you won't be able to be successful in that path, because it is a characteristic of the path that there will be obstacles. inshallah we take our short break now and returning we will take your questions on this issue of resistance from family when trying to practice the deen

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Santa Monica This is yes mean Mujahid and you're listening to serenity, streaming live on one legacy radio. We are talking today about the struggle of when you want to practice your deen and you're you're facing resistance from your family or those around you, your parents. They're they're not supporting your decision or even being very, very resistant to it and trying to prevent you. This is something that we have received many questions about a lot of people are in this situation. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make it easy on them. This is this is we know part of the path to Allah subhanaw taala is that it is not without obstacles but rather there will be obstacles. However, here

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is the good news. The good news is that whoever puts their trust in Allah Subhana with Allah as Allah says Romania tequila, Allahu Maharaja, whoever has taqwa of Allah if you're making a law, the one you fear most if you're making your your your goal that I want to do what pleases Allah Most more than anything else, Allah says in this ayah the edge Allahu Maharaja, he will make for him a way out. So know this that that if you make a love first and you make the taqwa of Allah subhanaw taala

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First that, regardless of what other people are saying, if something is going to be most pleasing to Allah, if something is going to be

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displeasing to Allah, you won't you won't do it. And that if that is the most important thing to you, Allah says in this ayah, that He will make a way out for you. So know that sometimes these things happen to us, but they have a purpose. And I'm going to share a story at the end of the show very inspirational story about that purpose, that sometimes the fact that we're receiving so much resistance, and the fact that maybe everybody might be against you, in your, in your desire to, to be closer to Allah subhanaw taala. That even in that there is a purpose, and there can be a blessing, a hidden blessing. In that situation. It looks all bad, but actually, there is a hidden

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blessing if you respond correctly. Now, there's another question that I received, and it reads, I'm Afghan and I'm 17 years old and live in Holland last year in Ramadan, I thought about the hijab and wanted to know why we're obliged or obligated to wear it. I wanted to know and do research by myself. So I did that, and discovered a lot and Hamdulillah, I saw the real beauty behind the hijab. And I used to say, I would never wear it. But everything changed. And I really wanted to wear the hijab. The only problem is and was my family. Since last year, I struggled a lot with it, because when I told my family for the first time, I that I had decided to wear the hijab, they were very

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clear, and told me that they don't allow me to wear it. I'm talking about my parents. My father is very strict, and he was so mad that they would they, he he was so mad at me for still wanting to wear it after he made clear that in his in this house, I can't. And that if I would, they would kick me out of the house when I'm 18 their reasons are, you'll find no job, no husband, that people will discriminate against me. And no one in my family wears it. So why am I better? Why am I how am I better to wear it.

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And it continues and talks about you know, the the type of sort of pressure that they put on her. And the you know, she's very close to her mother and her mother put a lot of pressure on her her sisters put a lot of pressure on her and she doesn't know what to do. I think this this story speaks for a lot of people in the same situation. First of all, I think that it's just it's incredibly important to understand where strength comes from strength that does not come from your parents supporting you strength does not come from your sibling supporting you strength also does not come from your own self strength comes from one place and only one place. Let hola wala quwata illa

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Billah there is no there is no change in state no strength and no power except by Allah subhana wa Tada. That's the only place that strength comes from. So even if everyone is against you, but you are seeking your strength from Allah subhanho wa Taala then you will be able to stand and if a loss of Hano title holds you up, then you will be able to stand. It is only when Allah subhanaw taala has, is not giving you that help. Or if you are not close to Allah subhanaw taala it's only then that we can't stand it's only then that we cannot withstand these pressures that are put on us. But if you are with a lot, if you are close to him, you will find that you are able to withstand all of

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these other pressures, because the strength only comes from him. Even if your entire family was completely supportive of some decision that you had made, or some action that you were going to do. And Allah subhanaw taala didn't support you, you wouldn't be able to be successful in it. You wouldn't be able to, to withstand it. So again, the support doesn't come from your family. The support doesn't come from your parents or from your siblings, but it comes only from Allah subhanaw taala. Practically, how do we build that strength? Practically it means you need to increase in your data you need to increase in your Vicar and namely, you need to increase in the time that you're

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spending worshiping Allah in the last third of the night. Why do I say that? I say that because that was the prophetic prescription given to Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that was rather the divine prescription from the Lord of the Universe, to the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam that at the very beginning of his message, Allah subhanaw taala told the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam what he should be doing at this point. This was even before the public open call the prophets I send them as being trained and he's

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being trained in certain Muslim men we're told homie, Layla Illa Paulina, he's being told to stand up and pray at night, except for a small portion of it, his training was in his pm. And then the ayah goes on to say in us and Olympia, Allah, Colin tequila, we will indeed reveal on you or put on you a heavy word, the prophecy seldom was going to have to do something hard. The prophets I send them had a heavy mission that was about, you know, that he was about to embark on. And in order for him to be able to do it, in order for him to be able to withstand that and to be firm, and to be successful. Ultimately, he needed his training. And his training was in that prayer, even before

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Subhanallah, this was at the very beginning, this was even before Salah was, you know, the whole, the whole, the whole idea of our five daily prayers didn't come until much later, during in the slot when it mattered when it was when it was made obligatory, rather. And so even before the five daily prayers were made obligatory, he's being told to pray at night. And to pray a good portion of the night that you'll find is your training. And that's where you get your strength. And and in this sutra, and you know, I recommend those people, to those people who are dealing with this and and others, that you will find a lot of comfort and certain resentment, because the prophets I send them

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went through this, the prophets I send them went through this same situation, of course, much worse. And that is that he was he was, you know, trying to to worship Allah subhanaw taala and was facing resistance from his family, and from his people from every direction he was facing resistance. If you really want to gain strength in these situations, read the stories of our profits from the beginning of time peace be upon them all, from the beginning of time till the end of time, those who are taking this path have always received resistance have always faced these types of trials. From those closest to them. Look at as Seattle, the Ilana, her own husband was standing up and saying

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Anna buco Malala, I am your Lord Most High. And he was torturing people who tried to say that he was not God. And look at look at Ibrahima, he sent him his own father was was making idols was he was the maker, the creator of the idols, and he and look at how much he tried and, you know, to guide him, the prophets I sent him his own uncle who raised him was was was a disbeliever. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get him to accept them. No, Allah has sent him His own Son, you know, little tally, Sam, his wife, when you look at these stories, you'll see that this is this is something they faced from the beginning of Adam has his own son, you know, had had had had committed

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murder, you look at, look at the stories of the prophets peace be upon them, they they went through these types of trials, they are are examples to seek, you know, inspiration from but but the question ultimately is, how did they do it? How were they able to do it? And the answer comes only, that they came, they sought their strength, through a loss of panel data, they sought their strength, through through their relationship with him, and through strengthening that relationship. If that relationship is strong, I guarantee that that will be something that you're able to withstand, not because you are strong, not because we are tough, and you know, we're, we're really,

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you know, April, but because Allah subhanaw taala provides that divine help, and Allah subhanaw taala holds you up, I know for a fact that we aren't holding ourselves up, Allah is the one who holds us up and allows the one who makes things easy, which would otherwise be impossible for us. And sometimes we look at trials, just imagining trials and just think to ourselves, I can't even imagine ever being put through that how I don't I think I would never be able to handle X, Y or Z, you know, if if my mother died, I think I would just I would just crumble or if my if my something happened to this person or that person. And yet, when they are put in that situation, somehow,

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somehow they're able to handle it. And that somehow is from Allah subhanaw taala you see these inspirational stories in our history, but you will also see these inspirational stories today. And and I've shared you know, the story before of, of a dear friend of mine and and her children who are very ill and have a disease where they're, you know, over time they're just deteriorating their their their functionality of their sight and their hearing and their ability to walk and even their ability to swallow. Over time. It's just it's deteriorating and she was told that they will slowly lose these abilities until eventually they die a slow and painful death I'm this is something no one

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I think can imagine hearing as a mother

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And yet this woman is Subhan Allah she she says she's drowning in gratitude. And this is the this is the state of this woman named Masha Allah May Allah make it, make it even easier on her and and carry her through this and make her trials easy. But this is the help of Allah subhanaw taala. So this is a sign of Allah to show us that no matter what you're going through, Allah can make it easy on you, but only if you're close to him and only if you seek his help, but know for a fact that if you're seeking that help anywhere else, whether whether you're seeking it in other people you're seeking, or you're seeking it in your own self, sometimes this is what we do wrong, is that we, we

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face a trial and we try to be, you know, self sufficient, I'm tough, I got this, I'm okay. Right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this on my own, I don't need anybody that in and of itself is also a deception, because to say that you don't need anybody is to think that you can do it on your own, and you can't you need Allah subhanaw taala you're not holding yourself up. And don't try to hold yourself up, go to Allah subhanaw taala. And it's Allah who holds us up. Remember that whatever Allah subhanaw taala wants to make easy, it could be the hardest thing in the world, something that you could never ever imagine happening. And yet, he makes it easy on us. And this is something we

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learned from the story of ESEA herself of the law, and one of the foremost perfect women ever to live, that she was being tortured by for hours. So her again, a family member. And so we have these stories throughout the end, a family member is torturing her because of her Deen because of her, her desire to please her creator. She's being tortured physically. And as a result of that loss of she asks the last panel data to show her her home agenda. And Allah shows her her home agenda as she was being in the process of her being tortured. And so she smiles. And we and we know that because she smiled that you know, that enraged, fit out even more because he or she is she's, he's trying to

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torture her in order for her to, to leave her team and and and and yet she's smiling, how can a person be able to smile in the midst of their hardship? And the answer is because of Allah subhanaw taala because of the help of Allah, if Allah subhanaw taala gives you that help you to are able to smile, even in the midst of your hardship, even when everyone is against you, even when everyone is pressuring you and, and, and it looks like it's closed in every direction. But if Allah subhanaw taala is with you, even then you can smile. And we see this Subhana Allah also in the story of Ibrahim alayhis salam and his own people are doing what to him, they're about to throw him into a

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fire, right? You know, Subhanallah we have our trials, but we're never inshallah going to be thrown into fire by our people, right? And yet, you know, Subhan Allah, we face these hardships in different forms. But look at what happened to him, you know, he might he sent him, he's going to be thrown into the fire. And just before that, it's related that just before that gibreel Allah SLM comes to Ibrahim alayhi salam, and asks him, Do you need anything? gibreel is asking, Do you need anything? And you can imagine if we were in this situation, right, and we're about to be thrown into a fire, and then you know that the angel comes and asks, Do you need anything? Probably our reaction

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is, get me out of here, right? You know, like, why am I still in this situation? But you know what his response was? Not from you, not from you. Look at the level of tohei that Ibrahim Ali said I'm had, he knew that his the help would come from Allah subhanaw taala. He didn't even ask for the help from it from jabril Ali Salam. And look at the amount of faith and the amount of tawakkol that he knew that this situation that he was in a low would take care of it. He didn't even ask to breathe to take care of it. And as we know from the story, that Allah subhanaw taala made the fire cool on Ibrahim Ali Salim. So this is in these stories. panela they are extremely inspirational, because

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they're not just stories, they're intended to give us that strength into to teach us what what we should do and how we should respond. When we are going to be thrown into you know, metaphoric fire or when we're being metaphorically tortured, either through the words of our family members are the words of those people who we love the the the harsh words, the demeaning words at times, that these are things that those who came before us also dealt with, and how did they do it?

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How did they end up? Last panatela took them out of that and Allah subhanaw taala was their support. We asked Allah subhanaw taala to to make us like them and and to make us able to withstand the the fires of our own hardships and the the the torture of the insults and the demeaning comments that come sometimes from those who are nearest to us, shallow we'll take another short break now and returning we'll continue with your questions on the topic of facing resistance in practicing our Deen

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Assalamu alaikum This is Yasmin and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We have a number of really great questions in the chat box which I'm going to inshallah try to cover some of one of the questions says I'm facing trouble with regards to reading namaz, I think prayer. My parents follow a different way but I am trying to read according to the Sunnah and they don't like it. I don't know what to do I feel bad that I'm not praying like they taught me but I want to follow the Sunnah. Am I doing something wrong? To to this to this listener? You are not doing something wrong. You absolutely should be following the Sunnah in how you pray and in how you act.

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We are told in the end quote in quantum to hipbone Allah, Fatima, W oni boo boo como la la la, la comme de Nova como se If you really love Allah, then follow me. And then Allah subhanaw taala then Allah will love you and He will forgive your sins.

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So in order the path to Allah subhanaw taala needs to be through the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. If we love Allah, we need to follow the Prophet This is the commandment of Allah in the Quran. So in order to pray, we have to pray the way the prophets I send them prayed any other way is not going to be accepted. So it's extremely important that we do pray according to the Sunnah. Otherwise, we are wasting our efforts and then in the end, we've lost we have to pray in the way that the prophets I sent him taught us to pray and not in the way you know, that may be called there are some cultural understandings of how to pray we have to follow the pure Sunnah of the

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prophets I send them and not any innovation, it's very, very important that we, we we move apart You know, like Move aside, the innovations the the the things that people have changed or have added in the iPad, and stick closely to the Sunnah of the prophet SAW Selim in and how he prayed. And the way we saw the way we know he prayed and he worshiped.

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And this This person says that because of this, they're not able to pray I believe, because of of this issue. I'm absolutely confused. Now because of this little issue, my Eman is at an all time low. And I've been super depressed. And this is this is so important.

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abandoning the salaah abandoning the the prayer is going to cut off your relationship with your Creator. And it for sure will make you your Eman low and will make you feel depressed if your heart is alive. So you need to come back to the prayer you know the obligatory prayers on time and according to the Sunnah of the Prophet sighs setting them in order to be successful in this life in the next regardless of again how your family does it you have to stick to the Sunnah because every single person is going to stand alone on the day of judgment and your what your family did or did not do is not going to make any difference for you on the Day of Judgment. So again, respectfully,

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in this in this situation respectfully disobey their their desire for you to pray in a way that is different than the Sunnah. You need to to follow the Sunnah because you're going to be asked individually on the day of judgment and no one can intercede for you except what Allah subhanaw taala allows this person says that revert This is a revert I am facing a lot of difficulty in making my parents accepted that I will always be a Muslim I'm a revert since 2007 they get very emotional and shout very unpleasant things about Islam or me. I try to practice them without them knowing so that so that my mom doesn't get ill How do I go about telling them my Allah subhanaw taala make it

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easy on you and to make it easy on all the reverts and all those who are struggling against this, this this resistance from their families. And first of all, again, like I like I had spoken about earlier. Seek your strength from Allah. Seek your strength from your relationship.

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with him, I tell you this and it is absolutely a fact that if Allah subhanaw taala holds you up, you will be able to stand and withstand anything, anything if Allah holds you up, but if you are not close to Allah subhanaw taala then these things will knock us down, even the smallest thing will knock us down. But if your strength is a law, if it's a law, who's holding you up, you'll be able to handle whatever they're saying to you. Look at look at our inspirational stories, look at our prophets peace be upon them all. Look at Asya look at what she was able to withstand. She was able to withstand physical torture from the greatest tyrant that ever walked the earth of Pharaoh. And

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this was just because she wanted to hold on to her Deen she was able to withstand it because Allah allowed her to look at what all of our prophets peace be upon them were able to do in in opposite in resistance to with the resistance that they were getting from their from their people know how to SLM 950 years 950 years, he was dealing with this and yet Allah subhanaw taala allowed him to be able to do it. You know, he lived for 950 years and and and yet he was he was able to withstand it and eventually less data saved him from from it. And this is the story across the board use of nslm in the end, Allah always has your back a lot always is going to get you through it. masala has

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Salaam Allah opened up the Red Sea for him. You think Allah subhanaw taala can't make a way out for you. A lot can and Allah will but the but the question is Where is your trust? And where is your reliance? Because the reliance and the trust of Musa alayhis salam was in Allah. He said in my IRA beside him when his people thought that they were going to be overtaken when they're standing in front of the Red Sea. musalla his solemn said with no, you know, no shaking? No, no, no, you know, no doubt Kela in Palmyra be sad and by no means Kela My Lord is with me and He will guide me through. If you have that attitude as a revert or as or even as a born Muslim who's facing this

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resistance from those closest to you. If you have that attitude that Allah is the one who's going to get you through this. I guarantee just like he got Moosa through the Red Sea, Allah His Salaam, just like he got Ibrahim Ali Salim through the fire. And just like he got Asya through the torture, he will also get you through. And this is the promise of Allah subhanaw taala. Allah is the only one who never breaks his promises. A human being can break his promise, but Allah never breaks his promises. And Allah says that he will get you through this, and he will, but you have to put your trust in Him. And you have to face him, and you have to get closer to him and seek his help. And

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Allah subhanaw taala will make it easy on you. Before I end, I want to share a very inspirational story on this topic. And and the lesson that this sister learned through the you know, the persecution and what she went through with her family in the same regard.

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She writes,

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almost five years ago, I converted to Islam and Hamlet in that at the age of 20. I knew my parents and my family in general wouldn't take my decision lightly. So I decided to keep my conversion and my new belief a secret. It was I was still a student dependent on my parents and was too afraid to face up to them. And I feared the consequences. For one and a half years, I was able to keep my faith a secret, praying and secret, fasting in secret, avoiding hot arm meats by becoming a vegetarian. I became very creative in hiding my faith, but I couldn't keep it up forever. And eventually after one and a half years, my parents asked me the tremendous question if I had become a

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Muslim, at that moment, I was at a family party of my grandmother. And they asked me this question in front of a bunch of aunts and uncles and grandparents and nieces who didn't know anything about my new lifestyle. At that moment, I remembered that I thought back to Somalia, the first martyr of Islam, and of the first Muslims, and the difficulties they faced and the torment, but that they did not deny their faith. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't deny my faith no matter what the consequences were. The consequences were as I had feared, they would be my parents insulted me in front of a lot of people. Some were family, some were unknown. During this reign of insults and

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screams. I remember a strange column coming over me and a strength that I didn't know I had. Nobody stood up for me at that point. Nobody interfered. I was standing alone, but I didn't feel alone and hamdulillah eventually my father made his

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conclusion. From that day forward, I wasn't his daughter anymore. And I had to leave. He ordered me to go home, pack all my stuff and be gone, if he would come home that night. And so I did. We had a bit of troubled family history and my conversion to Islam exploded all the tension that existed for years. After that day, I never went to live back to my parents house. Although I was on my own, I did not feel alone, because I felt I solemnly did this for the sake of a law, and he would create a pathway for me. In the following year, the relationship with my family went with ups and downs, the contact with my parents got restored, but the Bond had been broken, and it took a time, a lot of

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time to mend. The worst estafa law was still yet to come. Because I didn't wear the hijab yet. And my faith was still not visible on the outside. While it was only my parents who reacted harshly to my conversion, the whole family would ask to the hijab, my personal opinion of the hijab is that if I put it on, I never want to take it off, not for a job, not for school, and certainly not for my parents or my family. My family and my parents despise the hijab and a lot of doors suddenly went shut. In the beginning, I still got invitations for family dinners, with the quote unquote kind of request of leaving my hijab at home. But since I refuse to do that, even the invitations to me got

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quote, lost in the mail, and a lot of masked masks dropped, and phone calls and emails remained unanswered. Gossip started behind my back and found its way to me through some good old friends that lasted through the storm. And handed in that it was a difficult time. I tried to enhance the relationship with my parents as I realized how important family ties were in Islam. But after another fight another storm of insults in which they left nothing hold of my personality. After I tried for years, I went mentally drained, and needed rest. And that's when I stopped taking my initiative to contact my parents. I heard you saying in your lecture, it's very important to always

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uphold the family ties. But I can honestly tell you that this sometimes is more hurtful and more damaging to yourself and the other people to keep having contact than to let it go. I needed distance from them to find myself worth again. And so I did. Also my parents themselves did not take any steps towards me. And during a period of seven months, we did not have any form of contact.

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Although I needed this distance to mend myself, this was the most difficult time of my life so far. My heart ached. And even though I did not have a very good bond with my parents from the start, I still miss them very much and could sometimes physically taste the pain their loss caused. I felt like I was mourning for a deceased loved one. To me, it felt like I had no parents anymore, like they had died. At some point I even thought it would have been better if they would have died because then they wouldn't have rejected me as they did now. And hamdulillah. This grief took me to some deep levels of sadness. But even in those dark times, Allah subhanaw taala was still there, and

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I could still feel his presence. But I didn't know how I could ask his help in the situation. I felt confused, trying to become closer to him, had left me without a family. Although I was very thankful to him for having guided me. I also felt angry. Because why did this happen to me? Why did all the conference in my environment fix the problems with their families so quickly? And was I left with none? The question why kept running through my head every day and kept me sometimes awake at night.

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I couldn't continue like this, something had to change. I decided to seek advice from a therapist to try and accept that I had lost my family and to learn how to cope with it. Without at some moments grief, overwhelming me. While during my weekly therapy sessions, I was trying to mend my heart and soul to leave the grief behind. I also started to search for Allah again. I always kept praying to Allah and hamdulillah and kept making da. But it felt like the connection was lost. I called a lot but I always felt like I was dialing the wrong number. Like my vision had been blurred and I couldn't see the right numbers clearly. Gradually my reading books, my listening to lectures, I felt

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my vision becoming clear again, so that the numbers were obvious to me again, and I was able to restore my connection with a law because I learned to accept. I left the question why behind that had been bothering me for so many months, and was able to truly have patience, and even the slightest bit of contentment because it had been given to me by Allah. Allah had taken away my family for a reason for a purpose. One

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A year later, I realized the purpose to depend on Allah subhana wa Tada. Only Allah took away my family. So I would have no choice but to rely on him. And from the moment I truly did, he gave me back my family, he gave me back my parents Subhana Allah, Allah is truly the greatest for sometimes after I tried to fix my relationship with Allah, my father took the first step in contacting me, and his attitude as well as my mother's towards me, completely changed, and hamdulillah so today I have a better relationship with my parents than I had in years. So panela I handle it this this story really inspired me. And it shows such a deep lesson that this woman went through this, this hardship

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and she realized the purpose of it. Allah subhanaw taala sometimes takes things away from us. Sometimes Allah takes away false dependencies, so that we can depend on only him and him alone. And when we depend on Allah subhanaw taala and him and him alone, then even those things that he had taken away, are sometimes returned to us, or something better is returned to us. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to make it easy on all of us to face our struggles to face our hardships and to do what is most beloved to him. Holding holy Heather was the what a lot he will echo in the Hawthorne Rahim Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh