Beauty Of The Beloved

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Yasmin Mogahed

Channel: Yasmin Mogahed

Episode Notes

Beauty Of The Beloved by Yasmin Mogahed @ the Al Hikma convention.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Everyone in this room is a believer. Okay, no one in this room has ever been to raise their hand and say I actually love such and such more than a lot, or I love such and such as I should only live alone. We never say this, we would never say this with our tongues. But how do we know if we have competitors in our heart with Allah? subhanaw taala? How do we know that we haven't taken things and love them as we should only love Allah? Will these competitors with the love come in different forms? They're not we're not talking right now. See, we don't, we don't. It's not just talking about stolen items here. But there are other types of things that we take and love them as we should only

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love Allah, even even our own family, even our money, our career, these are all things that people take. And we become rivals with the love of oma supernova. So a column that is Sally and Sally in a heartbeat is sound is a heart that doesn't have any rivals with a heart that doesn't love its money more than oma a heart that doesn't love another person more than a heart that doesn't love their career more than a law firm. But again, we never would come out and say I love my money more than the law. But how is it that we show this, we show this because when we are given a choice between our business and the pleasure of Allah, we choose our business. So for example, we think that by

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selling alcohol, we're gonna make more money. Or we think that if we, if we, you know, take this particular type of loan, we're gonna make more money. And the idea here is that we have, we don't openly say I love my business more than a lot. But our actions speak this, because what we've done is we will always choose what we love most when we are given a choice. So when you are tested, and you're you have to make a choice between two things, you're always going to choose what you love most. And so in this case, if it's money that I love most, I'm going to choose money.

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We, you know, we have to be tested in different things that we love. And you'll find that we're always tested in what we love. It brought to you by maybe scenario, what was he tested in? He was tested in that which he loved most and that was his son. And when he was told to sacrifice a smile in his dream, from his dream, it's my values to them. And then when he went to smile, so many told them about his dream, his smiling, Selim, responded, do as you were commanded. And I know we talked a lot about Ibrahim is determined His sacrifice, but it's also important to know the sacrifice of his smile 97 because he's essentially saying, Yeah, you can you can slaughter me, you can sacrifice

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me. So he is also submitting to the will of Allah. Now, when Allah commanded Ibrahim on a sin to sacrifice his son, why did he do that? Did he really want him to kill him? Wasn't the goal of this of this test? was the goal of this test to actually kill his son? You all know the answer, right? The answer is no. Right? Because he didn't kill his son. That wasn't the goal. That wasn't the objective. The objective was actually to kill any kind of attachment that would compete with the attachment to Allah subhanaw taala. So here when Ibrahim alayhis salaam had submitted and agreed to sacrifice his son, what he's doing is he is saying to a lot, yes, I love my son, but I love you

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more.

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I love you more. And even the ability to say that he has, he has achieved the objective. And that is to free his heart from any other competitor with almost no guidance, even his own son.

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With a question now is how can we do that? Because we have a lot of competitors. We love a lot of things and there's nothing wrong with loving things. There's nothing wrong with loving people. There's nothing wrong with loving your career or loving your big fancy house. There's nothing wrong with that. But the problem comes when that love is it competes with the love of philosophy without it. So there is a wrong and a right way to love. And for you to have and for me to have a beautiful heart. We need to learn how to love in the right way. And the right way to love is to love in a way that does not compete but helps with the with the love of Allah subhanaw taala that does not compete

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but actually enables that that the highest form of love. That's why when someone comes and says I love you for the sake of Allah. This isn't this is a sort of a vague concept. But this is the highest form of love. Why? Because it means that I love you because of the law. It means I love you through a lot of you for a lot you love people who bring you closer to Allah you love people will allow you to love and that becomes

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was the actually the highest form of love. It's interesting to know that for you to really understand which kind of attachments you have, or which kinds of things compete with the love of Allah in your heart, you just have to look at what things cause you the most pain in your life. Because this is the nature of competitors who have a lot in the heart. They don't, they don't, they're not supposed to be there. And so if you put something in a vessel that's not supposed to be there, it causes a lot of problems. Okay, one example that I use in my classes is that you take your car, and you decide that you know, petrol is expensive that day. So you've decided that since orange

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juice is on sale, that day, you're going to take the orange juice, and you're going to put that in the gas tank instead of the gasoline or the petrol. Now, if you do that, we have a kid here who can tell us what will happen, you don't have to be a mechanic to know what happens if you put orange juice in a gas tank, right?

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First of all, at the very least, your car isn't going to start it isn't even going to run. But moreover, you're actually going to break the car, you're going to break the car. Why? Because you put orange juice in a gas tank, the gas tank was only created to be filled with gas. It was it cannot handle orange juice. What happens when we take our careers or we take people or we take status or we take wealth or we take fashion for God's sakes? And we love it as we should only love the law and it becomes a master for us you know like Samantha will autonomy here and we obey you don't we do this with fashion by the way I'm sorry, I'm just gonna have to say this. We do this with

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fashion, fashion commands and we obey and it doesn't matter what it commands us to do. Because I'm just going to say this the way we dress today in both men and women, the way we dress today, we would never be caught dead and some of the clothes we wear today five years ago someone told us wear those pants without without you know with like a short shirt we would say over my dead body What are you kidding me those are tights.

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But you see somewhere along the line we got totally taken along because fashion said so and we become became desensitized. So fashion says and we obey this is this is this is like obedience, right? Somehow upon that we hear and we obey. But this is the problem. We as an online need to be more firm than that we can't allow other things to dictate how we live, we can't be we can't be slaves to anything else. You know, one of these, one of the companions, when he came to teach the people about the sense that something very, very profound. He said, I have come to free you from the slavery to the slave and bring you to the slavery of the lord of the slave. You see, in this

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statement, you find exactly what it means to be free true liberation. It's that I don't have any other masters other than a law, meaning meaning fashion is not my master. It means money is not my master. It means status is not my master, you don't one of the one of the biggest masters that we take as a community typically, is this thing called What are people going to think?

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Yeah, what are people going to say? Right? And when I say it's a master, this is why I say it, because we actually dictate our lives, how we act, how we don't act, what we do, what we don't do, what we say what we don't say, based on how are people going to view it, what are people going to think? And what are people going to say? And we actually teach our children this too. We actually I mean, to the extent a woman could be could be beat up by her husband beat up to a pope and her own parents tell her No, no, no, no, go back. Because what are people going to say if you get divorced, that's slavery. That's slavery to what people think that's not called being a slave of a love.

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That's called being a slave to people. That's called being a slave to what people think of you. That's not what it means to be a good love to be awful. Like I say, that means that I'm only a slave to a lot. I'm not a slave to what people are gonna say. And when people aren't gonna think that's not why I live my life. That's not how I live my life. That is a form of slavery. And so when we say this, this concept of the heart being clean this concept of the heart being healthy, it means that there's no orange juice in there. There's nothing in there's no competitor with a law. In there's no orange juice in the gas team. I didn't take what people think what people say, and then start

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worshiping it, and start living my life based on that that's a type of worship. That's obedience to something other than Allah subhanaw taala if you really want to free yourself, do it as the companion said, I have come to free you from the slavery to the slave and bring you to the slavery of the lord of the slave. We take a lot of different forms.

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of masters, what people think what society is going to say, how much money am I going to make these become that which control us?

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Now I'm going to I'm going to say this because all of this still is rather conceptual. How do I know? How do I know? What's my orange juice in my gas tank? Right? How do I know? What is it that's competing with a lot in my heart? You know, there are ways to know. And there are symptoms. Among those sentences, this question, what causes you the most pain in your life? What causes you the most anxiety in your life? What causes you the most fear? What are you most afraid of losing? And you know, the thing is, whenever you study your anxiety, you will find that your anxiety is linked to your attachments linked to those attachments which are which are not healthy attachments. Because

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you will always be terrified of losing those things which you are attached to in an unhealthy way. So if you want to ask yourself that question, you want to find out what's in my heart? what's what's filling my heart? Just ask yourself those just like maybe five, six questions. What do I think about all day?

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What do I think about for asleep? First thing on my mind when I wake up? What makes me most afraid? What am I most terrified of losing?

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And what causes me the most pain in my life?

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And what you'll find is this a person who is obsessed with their career, this the answer to these questions is their career, their career, because that causes them the most pain of the attachment to their own child. I know I have a lot of mothers in this room. And the answer to these questions is my kid is my son. It's my daughter, right? Yeah, no, yeah. Once you kind of find is it's all about, it's also possible to have an unhealthy attachment to your own children, and to your own spouse. And this is something a lot actually tells us in the court, and he lists and sort of the Toba, I believe it's eight different things.

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In Canada, or chrome sake, if your father's web not open. So your online now lists these things. And he says, say if your father's or your sons, your children, your relatives, your spouse, your spouse, your relatives, your your business, which you fear decline, your home, which you well you know, you're delighted with, if any of these things are more beloved to you, then Allah and His Messenger, I have been in a coma in a love you would assume that are more beloved to you than a one is messenger Fatah bustle. So then just wait until a law brings about his decision.

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So this, this egg is very interesting. And it's actually very, it's something that should shake us inside. Because every single thing in this list, every single thing in this list is Hello. You understand? It's not talking about if your girlfriend is more beloved to you, if your boyfriend is gambling and drinking salt head, it's your parents, and we're not allowed to love our parents, our children, right? our spouse, this is all hell. And in fact, we're supposed to love these people. We're supposed to love these things, your business, it doesn't say you're wrong business, your business, your legitimate business, your home, there's nothing wrong with having a nice home. But if

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any, here is the problem, if any of these things are more beloved to you, then three things a lot, His Messenger and striving in his cause. That is where we face a problem. So what I want to say is this, what I want to say is this, we're all on a journey to try to beautify our hearts. That's the journey we're on. But in that journey, there's there's work that we have to do. Because we as human beings naturally we love these things. We love the gifts that Allah gives us. But here's what I have to warn you against. And one myself against is that sometimes it's possible that when you're given a gift, you might begin to love the gifts more than the giver.

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You might begin to love the gifts more than the giver. All of these things are gifts, your money is a gift. Your your status is a gift, your your power, your ability to think your children, your family, your spouse, all of these things are gifts. But be very, very careful about loving the gifts more than the giver. That's when we face a problem. Because if I decide that, you know, I really love my friend and I want to give them a gift. And if I give that gift to them, the whole purpose of the gift is to bring me closer to my friend right? And to build that bond. But if that person that takes the gift that I have given and loves the gift more than like period, give me that gift and you

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can just go over there. Right? So now I've completely we've completely missed the point. The point of the gift was to bring us closer together. Not for me too.

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Love the gift for them to give her. But this is what we do with a once upon a time and he gives us children, we love our children more than him. He gives us money and we love our money more than him. He gives us status. We love our status more than him. He gives us beauty. We love our beauty more than him. We refuse to cover it. Because you see, this is where it comes down to what do I love most? Allah subhanaw taala has told me that this is what beauty is that beauty is in modesty, right? But society says no, this is what beauty is. And it looks really different than modesty. And I have to make a decision. What do I love most? Do I love what alarms most? Or do I love what society loves

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most? When I'm told to cover, this is the sacrifice, right? This is just like I love my money, right? But Allah says give a portion of it for the sake of Allah. And when I'm told to do that, this is where I have to choose, do I want my money more? Or do I want a loved one? And similarly, yes, we'd love to be beautiful. But when the law says cover it, I have to ask the question, do I love my beauty more and when love alone more, it all comes down to love because love is the greatest motivator. And whatever I love most is what I'm going to obey. And I'm going to sacrifice anything for in order to get this type of heart, this type of heart that doesn't, that has nothing in it that

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competes with the law, not beauty, not fashion, not money, not status, not careers. In order to build that kind of heart, we have to go through a process called SPF, a process of purification. And that purification is very similar to the type of purification that we have to do to take care of our bodies. So I'm just going to like leave you with this, just a few points. And very simply put it the same way we take care of our body, we have to in the same way take care of our hearts and our souls. Let me ask you this, what is the most important thing you need to stay alive? Like if you lost it for five minutes, you would die immediately? What does that?

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Anyone?

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Oxygen, yes, oxygen. You can't live without oxygen, right? Even for five minutes, I mean, for a few minutes, we would go brain dead and then we would die completely dead. Oxygen is necessary for the body to stay alive. Correct. The heart also requires oxygen to stay alive. And the oxygen of the heart is the remembrance of Allah.

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If a person is walking around, and they live their life, and they don't remember Allah, it's like a person who's walking around. And they just decide no more oxygen, I'm going to stop breathing. A person who stops praying is like a person who stops breathing literally, just because something is unseen doesn't mean it's not real. The Unseen is just as real as the scene. But because we don't see it, we think it's not real. The heart also needs oxygen, just like the body does. And the heart also dies just like the body does. What is going to kill a heart is when you don't give it the oxygen that it needs. And remember what I said at the beginning, there's only one thing that's going to

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matter. There's only one thing that's going to matter after all of this illusion is gone. All of this illusion is gone 11 attala hadn't quite been setting except for the one who comes back to allow with a heart that is sound. So it's in your best interest and my best interest to pay attention to what that means right? Because nothing else is going to benefit us right. So we need to pay attention to what it means to have a sound part and how do we get there. We need to give if a person is not praying, if a person is not remembering a law, if a person does not does not is not close to the remembrance of Allah, this person may be walking around with a body but the heart is is deprived

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of oxygen and the heart is dead. The heart is dead. But you see, this is the thing of Allah subhana wa diamond, a love can give life to the dead bodies, and the love can also give life to the dead hearts. Even if a person has a dead heart, he can still come back, she can still come back. And a lot can give life to that hard to get. But that person needs to come back to their oxygen. And that oxygen is in the salop that oxygen is in the remembrance of Allah in the poor and in connecting to Allah subhanaw taala Allah tells us instead of Botha women out of that decrease the indelible nature to Mancha. We're not sure who you're meant the enmity Amma, whoever turns away from the remembrance

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of Allah, for that person will be a miserable narrow life. And what's interesting here is this a is not only talking about the misery of the Hereafter, this egg is talking about misery in this life before the next when you turn away from the remembrance of Allah. You live a miserable life in this life before the next you may look at you like no no but look at them. They're they look like they're enjoying themselves. They're not enjoying themselves. You see, you see their

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could be the happiness of an animal. What's the happiness of an animal eating, sleeping and reproducing? That's how an animal finds pleasure. There is a human being lives like that. If a human being lives only to eat, sleep, and reproduce, then you become no different than the animals. And we say, No, I'm happy. Yes, that's the happiness of a cow.

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That's the happiness of a cow of cattle. Yeah, that's not that's, that's a that's not the kind of happiness that a human being can reach. The true happiness is higher than that it's higher than just the physical happiness. And isn't that exactly what Romans on teaches us? Because Ramadan is all about depriving the body of the physical pleasure, right? We don't eat, we hardly sleep. We don't drink and no intimacy. So what you've done is you've deprived the body of the physical pleasure, the animalistic pleasure, why so you can reach a higher pleasure. So you can reach a higher level of consciousness and realizing that yes, you may be starving your body, but you are feeding your soul,

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right? Because that's the end, that's the highest level of happiness, that's the true contentment, and the victory lap of minimum kulu. Indeed, in the remembrance of Allah to the hearts find that peace and satisfaction, it doesn't come from eating, it doesn't come from drinking, and it doesn't come from intimacy, it comes from the remembrance of Allah. So there is physical happiness. And then there is the true happiness of the heart, which cannot happen. Without the remembrance of Allah, it's impossible, because the heart was made by Allah for Allah, and nothing else can fill it, nothing else can fill it, you can eat all you want, you can have all the money in the world, but it

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will not fill your emptiness inside. Because that emptiness can only be filled by the remembrance of the gas, the gas tank can be filled by gas by orange juice, it can't, it was created for only gasoline, and the heart can only be filled by the remembrance of Allah and feel satisfied, it will not find satisfaction anywhere else. That's why you find celebrities who have the money, who have the status, who have the fame and they're miserable, they're miserable. They die of drug overdoses they commit suicide

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they have you know, they're they have these addictions because there's this inner part that's empty and they cannot fill it with money and they cannot fill it with their fame they can, you can only fill it with the remembrance of Allah. And so if a person is is distinct from the remembrance of Allah, that person is walking around looking like they're alive, but internally they're dead. The heart is dead they have deprived the heart of the oxygen of the heart

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salon that is the first and foremost the salon The first thing we're asked about that in judgment, a person will be asked about their salon before anything else and if the salon is okay, the person will have succeeded and if the salon is not okay, the person will have failed. So you need oxygen but what else do you need to stay alive?

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You need food and drink at some point right? Eventually the food and the drink of the heart is also the remembrance of Allah and by the way when I say remembrance of Allah or advocate This is an umbrella term that includes sulla for en de la is default all the remembering said we do this is all to support you know, reflecting on the signs of a love this is all part of the kit. So we have to so far I have two more for you. Number three

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what would happen if someone said I don't need to take a shower today? Because I did that last October?

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We would we'd have a problem right? Okay, fair enough. Why would we have a problem but when they took a shower last October was a problem.

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Okay, the problem is that naturally we are always accumulating like dirt and sweat. And so we know as human beings that we have to constantly be cleaning our bodies to keep our bodies you know healthy correct. Same goes with the heart the hardest also always accumulating dirt from our sins. And so it is not enough to say yeah, I you know, I used to be I used to be like clubbing and then I I did tell about now I'm good. I did that. You know I took a shower last year. It doesn't work like that. We have to constantly be repenting. And that repentance that that showering of the heart is on and towba. Okay, lastly,

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if I feed the body, I take oxygen, and I clean the body but then every single day I go and I play in the dirt. That's just like what I do, what's gonna happen.

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I'm going to get dirty again, right naturally. The problem is that we need to also protect our hearts. We need to cover our hearts.

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protected from the dirt that's around us spiritually. And the dirt that's around us spiritually comes from a few places, okay? All the openings to the heart, we have to guard those, the places where we can get poisoned poured into the heart are through the eyes, through the ears, and through the tongue. These are openings to the heart. This is like a person who has, you know, a really, really precious jewel in their house, and they're trying to protect this jewel, but they leave the doors unlocked, and they leave the windows open. In fact, they leave the door wide open and the jewels right there. Well, what's going to happen there, they shouldn't be surprised that a robber

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came in and took it right. Because they didn't protect it, they didn't even keep the doors close, you see you have you and I all have a jewel inside called our hearts, that's a jewel, by the way, you better take care of it because you only have one, and only have one chance of this life to protect it and take care of it. And after this life is over, if you didn't take care of your heart, you're gonna have failed, it's not going to be another chance. So you got to take care of this jewel, you have to take care of it. And the way to take care of it is you got to give it oxygen, you got to give it food and water, you got to clean it and you've got to protect it. You have to cover

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the doors, close the doors. There's a reason Allah says to guard your eyes. Because when you guard your eyes, you're keeping the door closed, so that people can come in and take the jewel. All right. And when we do not burn our eyes, everything we look at of the huddle, he goes and of course poison into our hearts. And what we listen to him to how long does the same and when we speak when we speak also affects our hearts.

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Lastly, in terms of protecting the heart, if you're playing in the dirt every single day, no matter how much you took, like an awesome shower getting dirty again. And this is what happens when we have bad company. Our company affects the state of our heart. And it doesn't matter how strong you think you are. Your company will always affect the state of your heart as the prophets I send them, you know, emphasize, he said that at that a person is on the deed of his closest friend, that a person will become just like his closest friend will be on the same way as his closest friend. So what you should be very careful about is this. These people that you take as your closest companions, make

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sure there's someone you want to be like because you'll become like them. And if you've taken people that you that are better not good for you, then you're actually this is one of the causes of pouring poison in the heart. This is a this is a poison of the heart. The prophets I send them said that good company is like entering a perfume shop. The thing is whenever you enter a perfume shop, one of two things happens. You either go in and buy perfume and leave with perfume or you go in and you put on all the samples and you come out smelling better. Right? one of two things will happen. This is like good company is the fact is that even if you are not exactly like that person, just being in

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their company affects your heart that you will come out smelling better he says good company is like entering a perfume shop you will come out smelling better even if you don't come out with perfume. And Bad Company is like entering a blacksmith shop. Even if you don't get burned, you come out with your clothes smelling bad. That's what it means to have bad company.

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We asked the last panel how to make this journey easy for us to make all of on an opportunity to get closer to him to purify our hearts to strengthen our hearts. I'll tell you this and this is you know extremely comforting to me and inshallah extremely confident to you unless the panna cotta says yeah are you in so in netcad to hone in on a big fellow laughing all mankind you are ever toiling ever painfully toiling towards your Lord, but you shall need him and I asked Allah subhana wa tada to bless you and please do keep me in your in my family in your da How can you call me Have fun with Apple in no photo Rahim. subhanak Hello behind the

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lens sufferable and to Blake